Episode 7 Celebrity Mastermind

Being a comedian, it's your job to be a bit of an idiot.

And this is the opposite, so it's the wrong skill set for me.

Yeah, I'm feeling pretty nervous, looking forward to it being over.

I'm dreading hearing all the answers that the other contestants get

right ahead of me, and when it comes to my turn I just go blank.

It's not like I would hate the winner if somebody else won -

I think I'd just quite like to not be last!

Four celebrities who hope they know everything there is to know

about their specialist subject.

Who will be crowned tonight's Celebrity Mastermind?

First in the spotlight tonight is the comedian Hal Cruttenden.

He's answering questions on the Rocky films.

Next, the actress Clare Perkins.

Her specialist subject is Cormac McCarthy's Border Trilogy novels.

The Olympic gold medallist Sophie Hosking

will be answering questions on the London Underground.

And the Radio 1 DJ Huw Stephens - his subject, Johnny Cash.

Hello. I'm John Humphrys and welcome to Celebrity Mastermind.

Now, at this point, our celebrities might well be asking themselves,

"Why did I volunteer for this?"

The black chair, the spotlight,

the ticking clock and the questions,

and the possibility of humiliation.

Or, of course, lasting fame, for the contender destined to become

a Celebrity Mastermind champion.

Who? Well, we'll find out after their two rounds of questions,

first on their specialist subject and then their general knowledge.

So, let's ask our first contender to join us, please.

And your name is? Hal Cruttenden.

Your chosen charity? The Brain Tumour Charity.

And your chosen subject? Rocky films.

In 90 seconds, starting now.

In the original film, Rocky Balboa's given the chance

to fight the world heavyweight champion Apollo Creed.

A television news crew films Rocky

demonstrating what unusual training method?

He's punching bits of beef.

What was the title of the song from Rocky III that received

an Oscar nomination?

Eye Of The Tiger.

Which heavyweight champion

is introduced to both fighters

before the original bout between Rocky and Apollo Creed?

Joe Frazier.

When Rocky's trained for his rematch with Creed, trainer Mickey

tries to improve his speed by making him chase

what type of animal?

Chicken.

In Rocky II he tries to film an aftershave commercial

but he can't read his lines. What's the name of the aftershave?

Beast.

Apollo Creed enters the ring for his fight with Ivan Drago

as James Brown performs which song?

Living In America.

After Rocky's wedding, Tony Gazzo gives him some financial advice.

What does he tell him is a safe investment?

Rocky misunderstands, and replies that he never uses them.

Condominiums.

At which famous New York venue does Rocky regain the world title

in his rematch with "Clubber" Lang, played by Mr T?

Madison Square Garden.

In Rocky V, the promoter George Washington Duke

interrupts a press conference

and offers to put on a title fight

between Rocky and Union Cane in which city?

Tokyo. In the final film,

what is the name of Rocky's restaurant in Philadelphia

which he'd opened in 1995 and named after his late wife?

Adrian's.

In Rocky V he visits Mickey's old gym

and has a flashback of Mickey giving him a gift

that had once belonged to Rocky Marciano. What is it?

It's a cuff link. In the third film,

Rocky fights an exhibition bout for charity

against a wrestler played by Hulk Hogan... BEEP

..which ends in a draw. What is the wrestler's fighting name?

Thunderlips. Thunderlips is exactly right -

as have been all of your answers. Hal, no passes - 12 points.

Thank you. APPLAUSE

And our next contender, please.

And your name is? My name is Clare Perkins.

Chosen charity? The Williams Syndrome Foundation.

And your chosen subject?

The Border Trilogy by Cormac McCarthy.

In 90 seconds, starting now.

In All The Pretty Horses, the cowboys John Grady Cole and Lacey Rawlins

are followed by a teenage boy on a horse as they travel to Mexico.

What name does the boy use to introduce himself?

Jimmy Blevins.

In The Crossing, when Billy tries to buy some clothes in Silver City

he finds the shops are closed because it's what day of the year?

Oh... I don't know. Thanksgiving?

No, Christmas Day.

The direct speech in all three books in the trilogy

is generally written without punctuation marks

and frequently switches between English and which other language?

Spanish.

What is the name of the ranch owned by Senor Hearst

in The Crossing, from which 23 horses were sold,

some of which, Billy suspects, may have been his stolen horses?

Something about the virgin...? I can't remember.

La Babicora.

In Cities Of The Plain, John Grady falls in love

with a girl he sees at La Venada,

and later visits her at the White Lake.

What's her name?

Magdalena.

In All The Pretty Horses, what game does John Grady play three times

against Alfonsa when he meets her for the first time?

Chess. According to his wife,

what did the Reverend Blevins tell his radio listeners

to do during Gospel Hour, so that he could heal them?

Lay hands on the radio.

At the end of Cities Of The Plain, Billy meets a man who tells him

about a dream place in the mountains where pilgrims used to gather.

What's the name of the place?

Oh... It's not Death?

No, it's Andale.

In All The Pretty Horses, John Grady tries to find his mother who's left home

by visiting the Menger Hotel on Broadway

in which city in Texas?

San Antonio. In The Crossing,

Billy Parham's father borrows traps from Mr Echols' cabin

in order to try and catch what animal that's killed a calf?

Wolf. BEEP

No passes, Clare. Seven points.

Thank you.

APPLAUSE

And our next contender, please.

And your name is? Sophie Hosking.

Chosen charity? Combat Stress.

And chosen subject? The London Underground.

In 90 seconds. Here we go.

The Underground's logo, known as the roundel, generally comprises

a red circle crossed by a horizontal bar of what colour?

Blue.

Which was the first London Underground railway line to open

in January 1863, with trains running between Paddington

and Farringdon Street?

Metropolitan.

Who designed the iconic Underground map of 1933

that's been used as the basis for all future designs?

Harry Beck.

In '37, the Edgware, Highgate and Morden line

was given what simpler name?

The Northern line.

Which station did Gordon Selfridge unsuccessfully try to have renamed

after his department store opened nearby in 1909?

Bond Street.

According to legend, the ghost of an ancient Egyptian princess

haunted a station in Bloomsbury that closed in 1933.

Which station?

Pass.

What was the name of the one-legged railway employee

who rode the first escalator

at its opening in Earl's Court in 1911

to show passengers it was safe?

Pass.

During the Second World War the Elgin Marbles and other treasures

were stored in a disused tunnel of which station on the Strand?

Holborn?

Aldwych.

In 1977 the so-called Fleet line was renamed after

a campaign by the Conservatives in the Greater London Council election.

What new name was it given?

Central line?

Jubilee.

In 1932 the celebrated football manager Herbert Chapman

persuaded the railway company

to rename Gillespie Road station after which football club?

Pass.

The Waterloo City line that runs under the Thames

is generally known by what nickname?

The Drain.

In the 1920s, Lord Shaftesbury's famous memorial statue

known as Eros was temporarily... BEEP

moved to Victoria Embankment Gardens

while which underground station was being extended?

Piccadilly Circus? Yes, Piccadilly Circus it was.

Three passes, Sophie. Arsenal was the football club in question.

"Bumper" Harris was the name of the one-legged railway employee

who wanted to prove that the escalator was safe,

and, according to legend,

the ancient Egyptian princess

haunts the British Museum station.

Sophie, seven points.

APPLAUSE

And our final contender, please.

And your name is? Huw Stephens.

Your chosen charity? Ty Hafan.

And your chosen subject? Johnny Cash - The Columbia Years.

The great Johnny Cash. In 90 seconds, starting now.

Cash moved from Sun Records to Columbia Records in August 1958.

What was his first hit single for Columbia

which had the lesser hit What Do I Care on the B-side?

Pass.

In '65, Johnny Cash had his first top 30 hit single in the UK charts.

He reached No.28 with which song?

One Piece At A Time.

It Ain't Me Babe.

Which song written by June Carter and Merle Kilgore

gave Cash a huge hit in '63, spending seven weeks

at No.1 on the Billboard country and western chart?

Ring Of Fire.

June Carter and Johnny Cash married in '68.

On which album released the previous year do they duet on all the tracks?

Carryin' On.

In '64 Cash released an album of new versions of old songs

including Folsom Prison Blues, Still In Town,

and another one, the title track of the album - what track?

I Walk The Line.

Who became Cash's regular drummer around early 1960

and remained a member of his backing band for more than 30 years?

WS "Fluke" Holland.

Who wrote the song If I Were A Carpenter,

giving Cash and June Carter a Grammy in '71

for Best Country Performance By A Duo Or Group?

Bob Dylan?

Tim Hardin.

In February '69, Cash recorded a live album in a prison.

The album includes the song A Boy Named Sue,

which became a huge hit - what was the name of the prison?

San Quentin.

His album called Silver,

celebrating 25 years in the music business,

was released in which year?

Uh...1976?

'79.

On the '71 album The Man In Black,

which evangelist provides vocals for the opening song,

The Preacher Said "Jesus Said"?

Reverend Floyd Garrett.

It was Billy Graham.

What was the title of the album Cash released in 1970...

BEEP

..taken from his trademark greeting

at the start of a concert?

Hello, I'm Johnny Cash.

It was, absolutely.

One pass - when he moved from Sun Records to Columbia,

his first hit single was All Over Again.

Huw, six points.

So one contender with a hefty lead - can he hold on to it?

Let's look at the scores.

In fourth place, six points, Huw Stephens.

Joint second place, seven points apiece,

Clare Perkins and Sophie Hosking.

In the lead with 12 points, Hall Cruttenden.

And it's the general knowledge round now,

and if the scores are level at the end of this round,

then the person with the fewer passes is the winner.

Let's get on with it and ask Huw to join us again, please.

Huw - a DJ and, I read, the youngest Radio 1 DJ ever?

I was. I beat Noel Edmonds by a year, when I was 17, started when I was 18.

Did you? Sorry if you're watching, Noel.

You talk about your show,

"the newest music every week",

the show you're doing at the moment.

Bit of a hostage to fortune, isn't it? Yeah.

There's so much great music out there

and all the night-time shows on Radio 1,

we find our favourites and bring it to a new audience

and the hope is that those songs and artists go on to greater things,

you know, and carry on making good music.

You listen to a piece of music

and say, "I think that's great, people will like it."

What is it about that piece of music?

Bearing in mind you cover a whole spectrum, really, don't you?

Hm. Well, there's a lot of different DJs on the station,

we all like different things.

I guess it's just something that excites you.

You should tune in, John, have a listen.

LAUGHTER

Radio 1, you say?

I'm about 40 years too old. That's true.

All right, 50 years too old.

Anyway, you've got six points.

You've got a bit of a hurdle to clear, but nonetheless,

you've got two minutes of general knowledge -

plenty of opportunity. Here we go.

Ruby and tawny are styles of which fortified wine?

Um...merlot.

Port.

Which musical is about gang warfare in New York

between the Jets and the Puerto Rican group, the Sharks?

Oh, um...American Gangster.

West Side Story.

The Italian company Pirelli

agreed a three-year contract from 2011

to supply all F1 teams with what?

Um...T-shirts?

Tyres.

In 1888, which Dutch artist wrote in a letter

to his brother Theo,

"I cannot help it that my paintings do not sell.

"The time will come when people will see

"that they are worth more than the price of the paint."

Van Gogh.

What language was spoken by the people of Ancient Rome?

Uh, Greek.

Latin.

What is the name of the heavy-metal star

whose family's life was the subject of an MTV series,

supposedly watched by President Bush?

Ozzy Osbourne.

The author of the novel 1984

died a few months after it was published

in 1949 - who was he?

George Orwell.

What item of clothing did King George IV wear

to please the locals on a visit to Edinburgh in 1822?

He wore pink tights underneath.

A kilt. What word derived

from the Yiddish for "ring" or "bracelet",

is used for a bread roll

that is briefly dropped into boiling water then baked?

Pretzel.

Bagel.

What's the name of the grassy area in Plymouth

where Sir Francis Drake was reputedly playing bowls

when news of the approach of the Spanish Armada reached him?

Pass.

In 2013, who became only the second man in history

to achieve the double-double of winning the 5,000 and 10,000m

at the Olympics and the World Championships?

Mo Farah.

Which novel by EM Forster begins with a complaint

about the accommodation of the Pensione Bertolini in Florence

that overlooks a courtyard rather than the River Arno?

Pass.

What term for a skiing or canoeing race

on a zigzag course marked by poles or flags

comes from the Norwegian for "sloping track."

Oh, um...slalom.

In which English city was the band Kaiser Chiefs formed?

Uh, Leeds.

Who put on over a stone in weight for his role

as the spray-tanned Malachi Davies

in the TV series Truckers?

Pass.

Which birds were used in coal mines...

BEEP

..to warn against toxic gases such as carbon monoxide?

Their use was phased out in the UK from 1986.

Cuckoos.

Well, it's a lovely thought,

but actually, no - it was canaries.

Canaries! I knew it started with a C!

That is a lovely idea, cuckoos.

Um...three passes.

Stephen Tompkinson played Malachi Davies in Truckers.

A Room With A View was that EM Forster novel.

And Plymouth Hoe was where Francis Drake played bowls -

so they say.

You've jumped up a lot, Huw - 13 points.

And now Clare again, please.

And now, Clare... Hello.

You are abandoning EastEnders. Yeah.

And going back to the stage. Yeah.

Does that scare you a bit?

EastEnders, if you get it wrong, you can do it again.

Yeah, you can, but on the stage, you have four weeks of rehearsal

and then you get to do something that you love every single night, so...

It's the same play,

but it's always developing.

It's like reading a good book.

You read a good book,

and then when you read it the second time,

it's not the same. You see something else in it, yeah.

And it's somehow deeper.

And in a play, you get to know your character a bit more

and you do sometimes have little revelations where you think,

"Oh, now I get it."

You knew what you were doing before, but it's just a little deeper,

or someone will say something with a different inflexion.

It's great, I absolutely love it.

But then there's that moment when the lights go up,

you walk onstage and you think, "Can I remember my lines?"

There's always that one.

And sometimes you're on stage, and you've done a show 100 times,

and you think, "Oh, my Lord, I don't know what I say next."

It's like tumbleweed, going through your mind.

But it always comes.

Unlike sitting in this chair.

LAUGHTER

You never know.

You're getting two minutes of general knowledge questions.

You may just go "boomph!" and answer every single one accurately.

We'll see. Let's see. You've got seven points to start with.

Here we go, two minutes.

On which weekday TV show did Rachel Riley

succeed Carol Vorderman as co-host and number-cruncher?

Countdown.

Sweet, ready-mixed alcoholic drinks,

packaged to appeal to younger drinkers

are generally known by what name?

Alcopops.

Which Biblical giant appears in 1 Samuel, chapter 17?

Samson... Goliath!

Yes, it's Celebrity, so I'll accept Goliath.

What is the signature colour of the soles of shoes

made by French designer Christian Louboutin?

Red.

Which girl band had their first hit single

with the 2002 Christmas number one

Sound Of The Underground?

Em...the...Girls Aloud.

In which novel by Charles Dickens

does Crook, owner of a rag and bottle shop,

die by spontaneous combustion?

Oh...Pickwick Papers?

No, Bleak House.

In 2013, who followed a record-breaking eighth victory

in the French Open Men's Singles

with a first round defeat at Wimbledon three weeks later?

Pass.

Which Australian animal has a name thought to mean "no drink"

as it gets almost all the liquid it needs

from the eucalyptus leaves it eats?

Koala bear.

Who was crowned Miss California Artichoke Queen

in the late 1940s?

She went on to become

one of Hollywood's most celebrated and tragic stars.

Joan Crawford?

Marilyn Monroe.

Which city, famous for its canals,

is the official capital of The Netherlands?

Amsterdam.

What is the name of the VW Beetle

with a mind of its own that made its first appearance

in the '68 comedy film The Love Bug?

Herbie.

Speaker's Corner is in which London park opposite Marble Arch?

Hyde Park.

In May 2013, a famous actress stormed out of the theatre,

still dressed as the queen,

to berate the drummers disrupting her play, The Audience.

What was her name?

Helen Mirren.

The Girl At The Lion d'Or

is the first of a trilogy of novels set in France

during and between World Wars I and II.

Who's the author?

Pass.

What name is given to the hammer used by auctioneers

to finalise a sale

and also in public meetings to command attention?

Gavel.

Katie Holmes came to fame as Joey Potter in which TV series

set in a coastal town?

Dawson's Creek.

A trichologist studies the structure,

functions and diseases...

BEEP

..of what bit of us?

Hair.

Hair is correct.

Two passes - Sebastian Faulks wrote The Girl At The Lion d'Or.

Should have known that.

And the tennis player was Rafa Nadal.

Clare, you've got 20 points.

Oh!

And now Sophie again, please.

Now, you've done what strikes a lot of people as quite remarkable.

You had a fantastically successful Olympics,

gold medal and all that,

and you've decided to pack it in

and train as a solicitor.

Yeah. Why?

Lots of reasons - I think, ultimately,

it all came down to my motivation, I think.

I would never have wanted to carry on

if I didn't have the same burning desire.

I think, for me, having won the Olympics,

I'd satisfied my goal

and I thought, "Well, it's time to find a new challenge."

And this is a slightly different challenge from the Olympics,

but it's one that, right now, is equally as challenging for me.

I remember a bloke called Steve something -

Redgrave might have been his name -

he won a gold and then he kept on winning gold.

He kept going back for more and more.

Yeah, I think it's a really interesting question,

when the right time for athletes to retire is,

and I think it's so individual that you could never, as an athlete,

say anyone else should retire at whatever time.

It's such an individual decision and, ultimately,

if I ask myself the really deep questions,

I knew that my time had come to an end

and it was time to move on to new things. Right.

We've got seven points, 20 is now the score to beat.

Here we go.

In Mediterranean cooking, which seafood is known as calamari?

Octopus.

Squid.

In the musical My Fair Lady,

what "hardly ever happens in Hartford, Hereford and Hampshire?"

Pass.

Who became the Premier League's longest-serving manager

after the retirement of Sir Alex Ferguson

at the end of the 2013/14 season?

Arsene Wenger?

Which pop star, known for her extravagant outfits,

had a fourth UK Singles Chart topper

when she teamed up with Beyonce on the song Telephone?

Lady Gaga.

Which place of worship has a Great West Window

nicknamed The Heart of Yorkshire

because of its heart-shaped design?

It's claimed couples who kiss there

on International Kissing Day will remain together for ever.

Pass.

What name for the system

of arranging a living or working environment

to improve chances of wealth and happiness

comes from the Chinese for "wind and water."

Pass.

In which country are the resorts

of Bodrum, Marmaris and Fethiye?

Sorry, can you repeat the question?

In which country are the resorts

of Bodrum, Marmaris and Fethiye?

Pass.

What term is used for a young female cow

before it's had its first calf?

Pass.

Who composed the music for The Nutcracker ballet,

in which the Sugar Plum Fairy dances in the Kingdom of Sweets?

Tchaikovsky.

What word for riding breeches

comes from the name of a former princely state

in northwest India?

Erm...pass.

What is the name of the former Conservative Party leader

who once claimed he drank 14 pints of beer a day

when he was a teenager,

working for a soft-drinks delivery firm?

Um...William Hague?

In which Californian city

are Fisherman's Wharf and Chinatown big tourist attractions?

San Francisco?

Which actress, star of the Tomb Raider films,

was named by Forbes Magazine

as the highest-paid actress in Hollywood in 2013,

although she hasn't appeared on the big screen since 2010?

Angelina Jolie.

What kind of teacake is widely thought to be named

after the baker who sold them in Bath...

BEEP

..in the 18th century?

Erm...scone?

You'd think something like that, wouldn't you?

It was Sally Lunn. Oh.

Your passes - riding breeches?

Jodhpurs. OK.

Young female cow, hasn't yet had a calf, is a heifer.

Turkey is where Bodrum and Marmaris and all that lot are.

Fung shui, or feng shui,

is the name of the system of arranging your working environment.

York Minster has the Great West Window.

"Hurricanes hardly ever happen in Hartford, Hereford and Hampshire."

Sophie, 13 points there. Thank you.

Finally, Hal, please.

Now - stand-up comedian. Yes.

You do slightly more... mature stuff. Is that fair?

Yes. You mean I'm older, don't you, John?

Yes. Yes. I mean, it's relative.

Well, as a stand-up, it's never really mature, is it?

But, yes, I talk about older issues -

having a wife and children

and getting angry and living in the suburbs

and...all those things that run us down.

Is there a little bit of edge in it? Are people...?

When they laugh with you,

is there a little edge of worry somewhere?

Do you need them to have that sense of...? Yes.

I think the best jokes are -

this is the problem with comedy at the moment -

the best jokes are things that tread that line.

Having said that, you know...

I only sometimes tread that line.

I'm quite family-friendly.

I'd like to be more dangerous, but I just...

Would you? Yeah, that's why I chose the Rocky films as my subject.

I wanted to be him when I was a kid. No! It never happened, John.

Right, you've got 12 points, the score to beat is 20. Here we go.

Which Royal residence

is on the south bank of the River Dee in Scotland?

Balmoral.

Who's the billionaire playboy and philanthropist

who transforms himself into Batman?

Uh...Bruce Wayne.

Who is the Moor of Venice,

according to the title of Shakespeare's play?

The Moor...? Othello.

What everyday drink is made from the leaves

of the bush Camellia sinensis,

a native of south and east Asia?

I...haven't a clue. Ribena.

No, tea.

Which French leader, born in 1769,

never fully mastered the French language

and spoke with a strongly Corsican regional accent?

Napoleon.

A village with one of the longest place names in the world

can be found on which island off the Welsh mainland?

It's called Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrob wllllantysiliogogogoch

Anglesey.

The Hyacinth macaw, native to Brazil and Bolivia,

is the largest flying member of which bird family,

often kept as pets?

Uh...budgie, budgerigar.

Parrot.

What name is given to a surgeon's small, sharp knife

used for dissecting or operating?

Scalpel.

On Test match special, which former England batsman

uses phrases like "My mum could've caught that in her pinny"

and "Gran could have hit that with a stick of rhubarb."

Geoffrey Boycott.

Paul "Bonehead" Arthurs, Paul "Guigsy" McGuigan

and Tony McCarroll were among the founder members

of a chart-topping band - what's it called?

Oasis.

Which Liberal Prime Minister, born in Liverpool in 1809,

gave his name to a kind of cheap claret

and also to a leather travelling bag?

Uh, Gladstone.

According to the book of Genesis,

what was the name of the first man?

He's also the first prophet of Islam.

Adam.

The Hit, published in 2013,

is the second novel to feature Will Robie,

a highly skilled assassin hired by the US government.

Which novelist, a former lawyer, created him?

John...someone?

David Baldacci.

Which Commonwealth country is divided administratively

into ten provinces and three territories?

Uh...Canada.

What animal, kept as a pet, famously comes to a grisly end

at the hands of the vengeful mistress played by Glenn Close

in the '87 thriller Fatal Attraction?

A cat - sorry, a rabbit.

A rabbit, a bunny.

Joseph Mallord William are the forenames...

BEEP ..of which famous English painter?

Um...

Think of a painter. Constable.

Well, it might have been, except that it's not.

It's Turner - JMW. Oh.

But look, Hal - it doesn't matter. Oh.

You have scored 23 points. Oh!

APPLAUSE

So, who did it? Let's have a look at all the scores.

In joint third place, 13 points apiece,

Huw Stephens and Sophie Hosking.

Second place, 20 points - good score - Clare Perkins.

First place, 23 points, Hal Cruttenden.

Thank you.

Here it is - congratulations. A much-deserved win.

What are you going to do with your new-found fame?

I am... Well, I'm going to be putting this on the mantelpiece

and pointing to it in every row with my wife,

just saying, "I've won that. I'm right."

I'll take it to the pub, I'll use it everywhere.

I'm going to become unbearable with this. Good!

Exactly what it's for!

Well done. Congratulations. Thank you, John.

You don't have to be a celebrity

to take part in the regular Mastermind programme,

so if you would like to appear

in the next series of Mastermind on BBC 2,

then do visit us online at...

Or you can follow us on Twitter...

Thanks for watching, do join us again

for more Celebrity Masterminds. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE