Episode 2 Celebrity Mastermind

First in the spotlight tonight is the presenter Olivia Wayne.

Her specialist subject - Roald Dahl's children's books.

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Next, the antiques expert, Philip Serrell.

He'll be answering questions on the England rugby team.

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Richard McCourt, Dick as in Dick and Dom,

takes as his subject the Manchester band New Order.

APPLAUSE

And the poet Lemn Sissay on the great Bob Marley.

APPLAUSE

Hello and welcome to Celebrity Mastermind

with me, John Humphrys,

and four people who've achieved a lot over the years

but are now about to face a very different sort of challenge.

The reward - a donation to charity.

The risk - possible humiliation.

But probably not.

They get 90 seconds of questions on their specialist subject

and two minutes of general knowledge.

So let's ask our first contender to join us, please.

And your name is?

Your chosen charity?

And your chosen subject?

In 90 seconds, starting now.

In Charlie And The Chocolate Factory,

which of the golden ticket holders rashly puts a piece of gum

containing a three-course meal in her mouth

and turns into a giant blueberry after chewing it?

-Veruca Salt.

-Violet.

What's the name of the ramshackle building

bought by the Giraffe, the Pelican and the Monkey

and turned into the offices

of the Ladderless Window-Cleaning Company?

-The Grubber.

-Yes.

When the giant peach first grows in their garden,

how much do Aunt Sponge and Aunt Spiker charge people to see it?

They offer half price for children under six weeks old.

Pass.

What is the name of the monkey that the enormous crocodile

meets while he is on his way through the jungle to the town

to find a child to eat?

-Muggle-Wump.

-Yes.

What is the name of the woman who runs the orphanage from which

the Big Friendly Giant abducts Sophie?

-Mrs Clonkers.

-Yes.

In George's Marvellous Medicine,

George's grouchy old grandma

complains that he is growing too fast.

What does she tell him to eat less of to stop him growing?

Pass.

In which of Dahl's children's stories is Mr Hoppy secretly in love

with Mrs Silver, who lives in the flat below him?

-Esio Trot.

-Yes.

What is the surname of Matilda,

a precocious child who could read at the age of three?

-Wormwood.

-Yes.

When Danny and his father have successfully poached

over 100 pheasants,

they drop them off with the vicar's wife

to be given away. What's her name?

-Mrs Clipper?

-Mrs Clipstone.

When the Fox family are forced to dig for the lives

because they are being starved out of their home,

their tunnel comes out into a farmer's number one chicken house.

Which farmer?

-Boggis.

-Yes.

After Mrs Twit has put her glass eye

in her husband's mug of beer,

what does he put in her bed in revenge?

A frog.

A frog is exactly right. He does.

You had a couple of passes.

In George's Marvellous Medicine,

Grandma told George to stop eating chocolate.

And the amount that Aunt Sponge

and Aunt Spiker charge people to see the giant peach was one shilling.

You have scored, Olivia, seven points.

OK, thank you.

APPLAUSE

And our next contender, please.

And your name is?

Your chosen charity?

St Richard's Hospice in Worcester.

And your chosen subject?

In 90 seconds, starting now.

In 2008, who broke the rugby union

record for international drop goals

when he scored his 29th in a match for England

against France in the Six Nations?

-Jonny Wilkinson.

-Yes.

Who was the head coach of the England team

that won the Six Nations title in 2000 and 2001,

and went on to win the Grand Slam in 2003?

-Sir Clive Woodward.

-Yes.

In what year did England beat Ireland, Scotland

and Wales to win the Triple Crown

but lost the championship

to the Irish on points difference?

-2011.

-Ah, '14.

Steve Thompson, Lee Mears and Dylan Hartley have all

played for England Six Nations tournament in which position?

-Hookers.

-Yep.

In 2013, how many points did England score

in their victory in Dublin?

All of them were kicked by Owen Farrell.

-12.

-Yes.

Who did England play in their opening game

of the 2012 tournament,

Chris Robshaw captained the side

on his second appearance for his country.

-Scotland.

-Yep.

Which second-row forward started all five matches

for England in the 2016 Six Nations

and helped England achieve the Grand Slam?

He scored his first international try

in their opening match.

-Joe Launchbury.

-No, George Kruis.

Who missed the entire 2000 tournament after

he injured his Achilles tendon?

He captained the team to the Six Nations title

in 2001, 2003.

-Martin Johnson.

-Yes.

In 2001, England kept the Six Nations title

but were denied the Grand Slam when they lost

to Ireland in a match

that had been rescheduled from March to October.

For what reason?

Pass.

Since the year 2000,

how many times have England won the Grand Slam

in the Six Nations?

-Two.

-Yep.

Which England fullback was named as the 2014 Six Nations

Player of the Championship?

He scored four tries

and conceded no penalties during the tournament.

-Mike Brown.

-Is correct.

Just the one pass.

They had to reschedule in 2001

because of an outbreak of foot and mouth disease.

-Thank you.

-I didn't even know rugby players got foot and mouth disease.

LAUGHTER

Anyway, Philip, you've scored eight points.

Thank you.

APPLAUSE

And our next contender, please.

And your name is?

Your chosen charity?

And your chosen subject?

New Order, the band, in 90 seconds.

Which song released by New Order

in 1983 is said to be the highest selling

12-inch single of all time?

-Blue Monday.

-Yep. In September 2017,

the band announced that they'd reached a settlement

to their long-standing dispute

with a former member of New Order. Who was it?

-Peter Hook.

-Yep.

New Order's first six albums

all had catalogue numbers divisible by 25.

Which album had the number FACT 100?

-Brotherhood.

-Low-life.

The cover of the album Power, Corruption & Lies is

a reproduction of a painting by Henri Fantin-Latour

and depicts which flowers?

-Carnations.

-Roses.

All of the songs on The Peel Sessions recordings

were written by the band apart from one song

written by the reggae star Keith Hudson.

Which song?

-586.

-Turn The Heater On.

Which 1989 album was the first by the band

to top the UK album charts?

-Technique.

-Yep.

Which New Order top five hit contains the lyric

"I would like a place I could call my own,

"have a conversation on the telephone"?

-True Faith.

-Regret.

Following the death of singer Ian Curtis,

which musician joined the remaining three members

of Joy Division to form New Order?

-Gillian Gilbert.

-Yep.

At which venue did the band play their first London gig

in February 1981?

Their performance was beset by a series of problems.

-Heaven.

-Yep.

Which song has reached the top 10

of the singles chart twice,

once on its initial release in 1987,

then in a remixed version in '94?

-True Faith.

-Yep.

The number one hit single World In Motion was recorded

with members of the England football squad

and co-written by the band and which English comedian?

-Keith Allen.

-Yep.

In December 1988, the band played their only UK

concert of the year at the G-MEX Centre where

they were supported by A Certain Ratio

and which other Manchester-based band

also on Factory Records?

-James.

-Happy Mondays.

No passes, Richard. You've scored seven points.

APPLAUSE

-It's tough.

-It is tough, isn't it?

-Yeah!

And our final contender, please.

And your name is?

Your chosen charity?

And your chosen subject?

Bob Marley in 90 seconds.

In 1972, Bob Marley signed

with which record label owned by Chris Blackwell?

-Island Records.

-Yep.

Marley consolidated his breakthrough in the UK

with the release of his 1975 live album recorded

at a London theatre. Which theatre?

-The Lyceum.

-Yep.

Eric Clapton had an international hit in 1974

with I Shot The Sheriff.

On which of Marley's studio albums

did it originally appear?

-Kaya.

-Burning.

What song, originally recorded in the '70s,

was first released in 1992

on a collection called Songs Of Freedom?

A single version reached the top five.

-Redemption Song?

-Iron Lion Zion.

Marley was baptised into the Ethiopian Orthodox Church

shortly before his death.

What baptismal name that means Light of the Holy Trinity

was he given?

Oh...

Pass.

Marley performed at which country's

independence day celebrations in April 1980?

-Zimbabwe.

-Yes.

What nickname did Marley use

as the name for his record label?

-Tuff Gong.

-Yep.

What name was given to Marley's trio of backing singers -

Judy Mowatt, Marcia Griffiths and Rita Marley?

-The I-Threes.

-Yes.

What was the name of the controversial doctor

who treated Marley at his clinic in Bavaria during his last illness?

Pass.

Which song from the '77 Exodus album,

released as a single in 1980, includes the chorus

"Don't worry about a thing

"cos every little thing gonna be all right"?

-Three Little Birds?

-Yes.

One Love is one of four hit singles

from the Exodus album

and is an interpretation of the song People Get Ready.

Who wrote the original song?

-Curtis Mayfield.

-Yes.

Marley's first top 10 single in the UK was a double-A side

released in December 1977.

Jamming was one of the songs, what was the other?

No Woman No Cry?

-Punky Reggae Party.

-Yeah, great track.

Lemn, you had two passes.

Josef, or Yo-sef, Issels was the name of that controversial doctor

who treated him in Bavaria.

And his baptismal name was Berhane Selassie.

-Oh, wow!

-Yeah. You have scored seven points.

APPLAUSE

Well, what a very close round that was.

Let's have a look at all the scores.

Joint second place, they all got seven points.

Olivia, Richard and Lemn.

In first place, at the moment, with 8 points, Philip.

APPLAUSE

So, it is the general knowledge round now.

And if there's a tie at the end of it,

then the number of passes is taken into account,

and the person with the fewer passes is the winner.

So, let's get on with it and ask Olivia to join us again, please.

And your choice of your special subject,

Roald Dahl,

fascinating books, aren't they?

Because they are fantastical,

-but the central character is a normal person.

-Yes.

And that makes them so different from, I don't know, lots

of other fantastical books where everything is all slightly strange.

-Not always, though.

-Not always?

-Matilda is not normal.

-That's true.

Girl with a magic finger, not normal.

-That is true. That is true.

-So...

What's your question?

But a lot of the characters, I mean, the principal characters...

James, as in James And The Giant Peach, is normal.

-Charlie, Charlie And The Chocolate Factory...

-Yes.

-..a normal kid.

And they're put into these fantastical situations.

I mean, they are. It's just...

I think everyone in this audience knows a Roald Dahl book

and probably has a favourite.

I just think, you know, it is childhood, your childhood,

and I have a new baby, so kind of rereading and reliving them all

has me very excited for him to get to know those stories.

And reading to children has got to be one of the ultimate joys,

isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Lucky you. Right, here we go.

You've got seven points, as has almost everybody else,

but now it is the breakthrough point

cos this is the general knowledge round,

and you get two minutes of questions here.

So, here we go.

Sprigs of what plant are traditionally hung up

at Christmas for people to kiss beneath?

-Holly.

-Mistletoe.

By what name is confectioners' sugar known in Britain?

It's a fine white powder.

-Icing sugar.

-Yep.

At the 2017 Oscars ceremony,

La La Land was mistakenly announced as Best Picture.

Which film was the actual winner of that award?

-Moonlight?

-Yes.

Which female singer topped the UK singles charts in 2000

with Oops! I Did It Again

and in 2004 with both Toxic and Everytime?

-Britney Spears.

-Yep.

By what name was the outlaw who was shot dead

by Marshall Pat Garrett

in New Mexico in 1881 best known?

His aliases include William H Bonney Junior.

No idea.

In Britain, an artist who is a member of the RPS

specialises in what art form?

-Post.

-Photography.

The long-running play The Mousetrap

was first staged in 1952.

Who wrote it?

-William Tell.

-Agatha Christie.

Trying not to pass.

Which sport has its origins in Central Asia where mounted

nomads played a version of the game partly as sport

and partly as preparation for war?

-Lacrosse?

-Polo.

What vowel is represented by dot-dot

in international Morse code?

-Colon?

-I.

In the 2017 television series Genius,

a Nobel prize-winning scientist is played

as a young man by Johnny Flynn

and in later life by Geoffrey Rush.

Which scientist?

-Dr Dolittle.

-Albert Einstein!

Which author had 36 plays published in 1623 in the so-called

First Folio, collected by the actors John Heminge and Henry Condell?

Shakespeare.

What is the name of Latin origin for the watery

fluid in the mouth of humans and other vertebrates that helps

with the swallowing and digestion of chewed food?

Saliva.

Which former leader of the Liberal Democrats

published his account of the coalition years,

Politics: Between the Extremes, in 2016?

George Brown.

-Nick Clegg.

-That's the one!

Holy Island, off the coast of Northumberland,

is known by what alternative name?

BUZZER

-I can tell you...

-Please do cos I am going to guess.

-I will.

-We'll make that one of your passes.

-Thank you.

-Lindisfarne.

Ah. Wouldn't have got it.

-And the outlaw shot dead by Pat Garrett was Billy the Kid.

-Oh!

There you go. You now have a total, Olivia, of 12 points.

APPLAUSE

APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT SPEECH

And now, Richard, again, please.

-I call you Richard, I mean Dick.

-Yes.

-Does everyone call you Dick, apart from...?

-No, no.

-Only friends and family.

-Only friends and family.

-But you're Dick, as you're half of Dick and Dom.

-Yes.

-And your better half... Your other half...

-Yes.

-..is actually here in the studio.

-He is.

-He is.

-For moral support.

-A bit of moral support.

-Look, you've been together, as it were, for...

-21 years, this year.

-Is it really 21 years?

-Yeah. I mean, you know, 21 years together.

We're still going strong, fingers crossed, it's another 21 years. Who knows?

Well, I don't know about that cos I've been getting on really well with Tom and Paul over here.

-They're great!

-LAUGHTER

-We've been having such a good time, haven't we, lads?

-Leave him alone, he's mine!

Who would you choose as your alternative partner, if you had to?

-You, John. I mean...

-Oh, well! LAUGHTER

-I'll... Thank you very much.

-Today with Dick and John!

You're on!

We'll discuss terms later.

-Right, here we go. You've got seven points.

-Yep.

So, the score to beat is 12 at the moment. Let's see how you do.

Two minutes of general knowledge starting now.

Insomnia is a difficulty or inability to do what?

Not be able to sleep.

The headquarters of the United Nations are in which city?

-New York.

-What sort of broad-brimmed, high-crowned felt hat,

particularly associated with Mexico and Spain,

takes its name from the Spanish for shade?

-A red cloak.

-Sombrero.

In which television programme does a celebrity panel try and guess,

through a series of clues, who lives in the houses shown on camera?

Through The Keyhole.

What animal, that's commonly kept as a pet, has long-eared breeds

called English lop, French lop, and Holland lop?

-A dog.

-Rabbits.

What name is given to the centre of a target in darts and archery?

Bullseye.

In what 2017 film does Tom Cruise play Barry Seal,

a pilot and drug runner

who covertly worked for the American government during the '80s?

-Top Gun.

-American Made.

In which Cornish resort is there a branch of the Tate Gallery

and a museum dedicated to the sculptor Barbara Hepworth?

-Truro.

-St Ives.

By what title were the emperors who ruled

Germany from 1871 to 1918 known?

The Jarzers.

Kaiser.

Carrie Fisher's The Princess Diaries, published in 2016,

is a behind-the-scenes account of what happened on the set of a famous 1977 film.

Which film?

-Empire Strikes Back.

-Star Wars.

What is the name of the actor who came to fame as Basil Brush's

straight man and went on to play

Private Secretary Bernard Woolley in Yes, Minister and its sequel?

-Geoffrey Durham.

-Derek Fowlds.

London Zoo and Queen Mary's Gardens are features of which

of London's royal parks?

Regent's Park.

What name that comes from the Latin word meaning "for"

and the Greek for "life" is given to live bacteria that are added

to yoghurts or taken as food supplements

and are promoted as having health benefits?

-Priobiotics.

-No, probiotics.

-Probiotics!

Which singer, sometimes known as Alf,

began her career in the early '80s with Vince Clarke in the duo Yazoo?

-Cilla.

-Alison Moyet.

In what winter sport, takes its name from the French for sledge, do

competitors race down an icy course, lying on their backs, feet first?

-Tobogganing.

-The luge.

What completes the title of the comedy play that ended

its record 16-year run in the West End in 1987, No Sex Please We're...?

British!

British is exactly right.

Richard, you've shot up to 13 points.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

And now, Lemn again, please.

And your poetry, wonderful stuff, has to be said.

-Poems in public spaces.

-Yes.

-That's, in a sense, what you're about.

I wonder whether you fit the poem to the space or

whether the space inspires the poem.

We'll all be singing a poem at Christmas.

We'll be singing In The Bleak Midwinter by Christina Rossetti.

So poetry is actually around us all of the time.

So why not on the walls and the places

and the spaces of our cities and towns and villages?

And yeah, poetry is about the space that we're in,

whether that's a physical space or an internal one,

and when you see it in public, it reminds

you that there are greater things in our environment than adverts.

Why do we not read, most of us, do we not read poetry?

I believe that we are reading more poetry now, since the beginning of

time, because there are more words going between more people now,

since the beginning of time.

Twitter, Facebook,

the internet is allowing people to communicate through words.

There is more transference of words between more people now

since the beginning of time, so that has got to be a great advert.

It's a good time for words, man!

Good.

I'm glad to hear that! That's the business we're both in.

You in a rather more creative way than me, admittedly.

But there we go. You've got seven points at the moment.

13 is the score to beat.

So, let's see how you do with your general knowledge. Here we go.

What is the capital and largest city of Denmark?

Er, Copenhagen.

Prisoner And Escort was the pilot for a 1970s TV comedy series

starring Ronnie Barker. Which series?

Um, pass.

Which island in the Irish Sea,

off the coast of north-west England,

is known as Ellan Vannin in its local Gaelic language?

-Ireland.

-Isle of Man.

Which former jockey, who wrote thrillers with a racing

background, is the author of Lester Piggott's official biography?

-Dick Francis.

-What means of transport is the subject of JMW Turner's 1844

painting Rain, Steam and Speed?

-Train.

-Railway engine.

Which region of Italy has been called Chiantishire

because of its popularity with English holidaymakers and ex-pats?

-Um, Rome.

-Tuscany.

Which political party that was founded in 1981

and disbanded in 1990 was known by the initials SDP?

Er, the... Pass.

What term, commonly used in golf, means an advantage or disadvantage

given to sporting competitors to even out their chances of winning?

-Birdie.

-Handicap.

Which legendary film star's early life did Misty Rowe

portray in the 1976 film Goodbye, Norma Jean?

Marilyn Monroe.

What creatures are Babar, Celeste

and Arthur in the children's books by Jean de Brunhoff?

-Lion.

-Elephants.

According to the title of Prince's 1985 top ten hit,

what colour was his Little Corvette?

Red.

What name is given to the faintly luminous band of billions

of stars in our galaxy that stretches across the night sky?

-The galaxy.

-Milky Way.

Which soup, usually served chilled,

is now most familiar in its Andalucian version

and consists of an uncooked mixture of oil, garlic, tomatoes

and cucumber, thickened with breadcrumbs?

-Vichyssoise?

-Gazpacho.

In which Rogers and Hammerstein musical does Bloody Mary,

a local entrepreneur, sing about the magical island of Bali Ha'i?

Pass.

In geography, what may be described as active, dormant or extinct?

Volcano.

Which American vocal group reached number one in the UK singles

charts in 1977 with Chanson D'Amour?

Bob Marley.

The Manhattan Transfer.

Yeah. Nor me(!)

Anyway, three passes.

South Pacific was the Rogers and Hammerstein musical.

Bali Ha'i.

SDP stands for Social Democratic Party.

Which you knew. And Prisoner And Escort was a pilot for Porridge.

-Of course.

-You've got, Lemn, 13 points.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

And now Philip again, finally, please.

And you've been an auctioneer..

You've been doing Bargain Hunt, let's put it that way,

for, what is it, 13 years or something?

1999, I think it all started.

-I wasn't an antique then.

-LAUGHTER

Long time.

Are we ever going to run out of things that we see

and want to buy and can sell for a profit?

Is that whole cycle ever going to come to an end?

No, because I think antiques and collectibles are a conveyor belt.

When I started, antiques were seen as the preserve of sort

of wealthy people and dealers, but now, it's there for everyone.

-That's a good thing.

-What's a collectible?

-Is anything a collectible?

-I think the answer is, if you can sell it, it's a collectible,

-and if you can't, it isn't.

-Well, that's logical, isn't it?

-Yeah, absolutely.

-You've got eight points. The score to beat is still 13.

-Oh, dear.

Here we go, anyway.

Two minutes of general knowledge, starting now.

Wolfgang Amadeus were two of the forenames of an 18th century composer. Who?

-Mozart.

-The males of which table bird make a noise that's often

described as gobbling?

Turkeys.

What is the largest of the five Great Lakes of North America?

-Oregon.

-Superior.

Which consumer champion presented the programme

That's Life from 1973 to '94, helped by a team of mostly male reporters?

Esther Rantzen.

Gavin Maxwell's Ring Of Bright Water Trilogy tells of his life

with some animals on the remote west coast of Scotland. What animals?

Otters.

What was the mission number of the last Apollo spacecraft to

land men on the moon in December 1972?

-12.

-17. Which chapel in the Vatican,

named after the Pope in whose reign it was built, has famous ceiling

frescos painted by Michelangelo that show scenes from Genesis?

Sistine.

The 1948 film Key Largo was the last of the four screen

appearances made by Humphrey Bogart with his wife. What's her name?

-Betty Bacall.

-Yes, Lauren Bacall.

What is the name of the castle near Leipzig that was used to

house Allied prisoners who had a record of previous escape

attempts during the Second World War?

Ah.

Pass.

What part of the dong is luminous,

according to the title of Edward Lear's nonsense poem?

-Ding.

-No, his nose.

Which classic Beatles album returned to the top of the UK

charts in June 2017 when it was rereleased to commemorate

the record's 50th birthday?

Er, Captain... Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.

Which football club moved from the Camp de Les Corts stadium

to its present home, the Camp Nou stadium, in 1957?

Barcelona.

Which English scientist, noted for his Theory of Evolution, described

man's probably ancestor as "a hairy quadruped, furnished with

"a tail and pointed ears, probably arboreal in its habits"?

-Charles Darwin.

-Rollmops are made from fillets of what saltwater fish?

Herring.

Which London theatre, famous for its pantomimes,

opened in Argyll Street on Boxing Day in 1910?

It has staged the Royal Variety Performance on many occasions.

Palladium.

Which English city in the Midlands has suburbs that include

Ladywood, Selly Oak and Edgbaston?

-Birmingham.

-Is correct. One pass.

The name of that castle near Leipzig used to house Allied prisoners,

Colditz.

However, Philip, you have scored a total of 20 points.

APPLAUSE

Which means, of course, that Philip is the winner.

Let's have a look at all of those scores.

Fourth place, 12 points, Olivia.

Joint second place, 13 points apiece, Richard and Lemn.

And first place, of course, with 20 points, Philip.

APPLAUSE

Come and get it.

Congratulations, Philip.

-Thank you.

-And the entirely obvious question - is that a collectible?

Very definitely. I mean, it's certainly... Well, it is in

-my house.

-But the value?

-Priceless.

-Priceless.

LAUGHTER And I didn't even plan that answer.

Look, you don't have to be a celebrity to take part in the regular Mastermind.

If you would like to appear in the next series on BBC Two,

then do visit us, online at:

And you can follow us on Twitter at:

Either way, do join us again next time for more Masterminds.

Thank you for watching. Goodbye. Philip? Off you go.

APPLAUSE