Pennod 5 Darren Drws Nesa


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-# There's nowhere like home

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-# Or so I'm told

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-# There's nowhere like home

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-# No

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-# Home is just like you #

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-Maybe I'm overreacting,

-but I'm not in a good mood today.

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-They've all tried and failed

-to cheer me up.

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-Here's your boiled egg, mate.

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-And soldiers to go with it.

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-You sit down there.

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-The last thing I want is food.

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-But you love a boiled egg.

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-But you love a boiled egg.

-

-Not this morning.

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-Ta-dah!

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-Who am I then?

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-Who am I then?

-

-Harry Potter's grandad?

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-Are you still sulking?

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-Are you still sulking?

-

-Yes.

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-No party if you're in a foul mood.

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-No party if you're in a foul mood.

-

-I don't want to come.

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-You're not coming like that either.

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-You've had weeks to find

-a better costume than that.

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-I look great, don't I, Darren?

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-If you say so.

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-It's too late to get another one.

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-Go and look for something.

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-Go and look for something.

-

-Like what?

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-Anything at all!

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-Come on now, Darren.

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-It could be much worse.

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-How?

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-We could have been your guinea pigs.

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-You're not still upset

-after last night.

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-It was a disaster.

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-I've had worse meals.

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-Have you? When?

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-I can't remember right off,

-but there were good points.

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-What?

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-The portions weren't too big.

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-I'm bound to fail the exam.

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-I'm bound to fail the exam.

-

-Yes, with that attitude.

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-Practise the three courses again.

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-The exam's tomorrow.

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-The exam's tomorrow.

-

-Tonight it is then.

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-There's no-one home tonight.

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-Oh.

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-What am I going to do?

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-I'll think of something.

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-Have I chosen the wrong course?

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-Maybe I'm not cut out to be a chef.

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-You're overreacting.

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-It wasn't as bad as all that.

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-You didn't poison anyone.

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-What do you think then?

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-There are clean shirts and trousers

-in the airing cupboard.

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-I know. It's my costume.

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-Who are you meant to be?

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-That's obvious, isn't it?

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-Here's a clue.

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-The name's Rees. Kevin Rees.

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-The name's Rees. Kevin Rees.

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-No.

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-Daniel Craig.

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-James Bond, 007.

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-Casino Royale,

-coming out of the sea..

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-In his pants?

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-Bathing trunks.

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-Bathing trunks.

-

-They were light blue.

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-I'll put them in the machine,

-hot wash with jeans.

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-No, Kev.

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-Try again.

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-Go! Off you go.

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-We should have two bathrooms.

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-What's Dyfrig doing?

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-What's Dyfrig doing?

-

-Vomiting.

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-Oh.

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-Are you OK?

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-No. It was the chicken.

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-I can't face

-eating his food ever again.

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-Hey. You remember John and Melissa

-are coming over tonight, don't you?

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-Who?

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-The boss, John Ashworth.

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-The big cheese, a high flyer.

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-According to Endaf,

-John sacked the nanny...

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-..because she didn't make

-home-made mayonnaise.

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-Honestly.

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-Ruthless.

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-I thought Endaf was your boss.

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-No, no, John is Endaf's boss.

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-Area supervisor. The top man.

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-He makes that...

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-..Alan Sugar look like a puppy.

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-Don't forget now, Debs.

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-Don't forget now, Debs.

-

-I won't.

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-What will you make them?

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-What will you make them?

-

-I'm not cooking tonight.

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-Darren's having another go

-at his exam menu.

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-Why are you laughing?

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-Darren's cooking tonight.

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-Darren's cooking tonight.

-

-You're not serious!

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-Yes, absolutely serious.

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-His exam's tomorrow.

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-Please, Debs, no! No, no!

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-He almost killed us last night.

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-He almost killed us last night.

-

-Oh, Debbie, it was horrendous.

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-Are we really

-having the same tonight?

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-Yes, sorry.

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-Health and safety?

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-You've got a lot to study.

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-Most of it's common sense.

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-There are a few practical points,

-first aid...

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-Right.

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-How about this?

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-George Best after a big night?

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-George Best after a big night?

-

-George Best wasn't Welsh.

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-Joe Allen?

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-Joe Allen?

-

-Close.

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-Gareth Bale.

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-Gareth Bale.

-

-No, Terry Bach is Gareth Bale.

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-Joe Ledley?

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-Joe Ledley?

-

-Ken Mawr is Joe Ledley.

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-Ain't nobody like Joe Ledley.

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-Ken's been growing his beard

-since Christmas.

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-What are you wearing?

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-What are you wearing?

-

-I'm not telling you.

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-I'm expecting a parcel.

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-A costume for yourself?

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-Yes.

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-So you'll be fine, won't you?

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-So you'll be fine, won't you?

-

-Yes, I will.

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-Thanks a bunch.

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-You're welcome.

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-Poor dab.

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-I've got a costume for him.

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-I'll let him stew for a bit.

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-It's a good job you're not coming.

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-Your Mr Grumpy's unbeatable.

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-KNOCK AT DOOR

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-Postman!

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-Oh, it's you.

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-Oh, it's you.

-

-Debbie said you're cooking tonight.

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-Do you really want to bother

-cooking again tonight?

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-Not especially,

-but I don't have any choice.

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-Could I borrow the recipe?

-I take it you did have one.

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-What for?

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-What for?

-

-I want to study it.

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-I'll help you in the kitchen.

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-Sous-chef.

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-I'd rather cook on my own.

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-We'd only get in each other's way.

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-We'd only get in each other's way.

-

-You'd get on his nerves.

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-It could end badly.

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-KNOCK AT DOOR

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-Listen, David...

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-OK?

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-Could you sign for it, please?

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-Thanks.

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-A very big parcel for you.

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-Mam?

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-There's a costume for you in it too.

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-There's a costume for you in it too.

-

-For me?

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-Oh, yes!

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-What?

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-What?

-

-You'll see, won't you?

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-What are you wearing?

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-What are you wearing?

-

-I'm not saying, but here's a clue.

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-We'll be the heroes tonight.

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-Heroes...

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-Heroes...

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-Give up! Tell me!

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-Give up! Tell me!

-

-No, no, no.

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-You're like a little boy, Kev.

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-A little boy? Nicw Nacw!

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-That wasn't a clue.

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-That wasn't a clue.

-

-What then? Open it!

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-Open it so that I can try it.

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-What now?

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-What now?

-

-I've had a great idea.

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-Says you.

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-Says you.

-

-Yes.

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-What if you practise cooking

-after John and Melissa go home?

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-I don't get it.

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-Your mother can cook

-for them, as arranged.

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-Then the kitchen is yours

-to make as much mess as you want.

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-That's a rubbish idea.

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-Whoa! Don't say that.

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-Take your time to consider it.

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-No, it's still a bad idea.

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-No-one will be hungry

-because they'll have eaten.

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-They wouldn't eat it

-even if they were starving!

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-You need to practise making it,

-not practise eating it.

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-Have you been crying?

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-Have you been crying?

-

-No, vomiting.

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-What do you write in that?

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-What do you write in that?

-

-Personal thoughts.

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-Leave it alone.

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-I'd never forgive you

-if you peeked at it.

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-Is that the stuff Mam bought for me?

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-Is that the stuff Mam bought for me?

-

-Yes.

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-I hear you're having

-another go at killing us.

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-Oh, no!

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-I have to vomit.

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-What's the latest with the bullying?

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-What's the latest with the bullying?

-

-Wild Adrian's still on the case.

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-Go, Adrian!

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-Go, Adrian!

-

-What?

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-Dyfrig started it.

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-Dyfrig started it.

-

-Act your age.

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-He's really scared of Wild Adrian.

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-He's really scared of Wild Adrian.

-

-Sorry.

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-Get a grip, moping

-as if it's the end of the world.

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-What if you had Dyfrig's problems?

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-What if you had Dyfrig's problems?

-

-I did say sorry.

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-Upset about soft carrots.

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-Get a life, Darren.

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-Sorry.

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-Was it OK apart from the carrots?

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-Was it OK apart from the carrots?

-

-The carrots were the highlight.

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-Hey!

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-Have you tried your costume?

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-Have you tried your costume?

-

-We need a laugh.

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-It didn't fit. The top's fine

-but the bottom's too tight.

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-I can't close the button.

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-I can't close the button.

-

-A safety pin?

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-I've tried. It didn't work.

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-It'd be too tight

-to dance, do my moves.

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-Pressing on my belly, I'd be more on

-the bog than the dance floor.

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-Shame.

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-Shame.

-

-Yes, shame. The top's so nice.

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-And the bra.

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-There's a nail varnish kit

-and a headband and tights.

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-And the heels are really nice.

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-It is a shame.

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-I've said sorry.

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-Listen.

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-How are you helping him?

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-How are you helping him?

-

-I can't be in the exam with him.

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-John and Melissa

-are used to the best.

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-Michelin star restaurants.

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-Darren's hopeless.

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-He needs to practise

-and he'll try his best.

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-His best isn't good enough

-to give John Ashworth.

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-I couldn't care less

-about John Ashworth.

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-I care about Darren's feelings.

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-I care about Darren's feelings.

-

-I'm going to tell John that I'm ill.

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-Or the truth -

-we all have food poisoning.

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-If you do that, I'll be very angry.

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-Darren's cooking tonight,

-and that's it.

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-Oh, Debs...

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-Sorry on his behalf, Darren.

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-It's true.

-You said the same earlier.

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-I didn't mean it.

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-It was your first attempt.

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-Maybe you were a bit ambitious.

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-Maybe the chicken was old,

-or the prawns were off.

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-Thanks for trying, but no.

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-I can't do it.

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-I'll tell them I'm dropping out.

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-Maybe Dad was right.

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-A mechanic's course

-might have been better.

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-.

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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-Don't let a few prawns and a chicken

-get the better of you.

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-Don't let David decide your future.

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-David wants to impress

-on his big night.

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-Gemma says she likes to stare

-out of the window at night...

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-..counting the same stars as you.

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-Stop doing that, Dad.

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-Is she alright?

0:13:270:13:29

-Is she alright?

-

-Look for a skirt for your costume.

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-Cheer up, Darren,

-things aren't as bad as that.

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-Come into the kitchen

-to see what we can do.

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-Shut the door behind you.

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-Did you have to be so mean?

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-Did you have to be so mean?

-

-Maybe not, but it was the truth.

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-The truth can hurt sometimes.

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-I just wanted a good night

-with nice food.

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-Sucking up to John and Melissa.

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-Sucking up to John and Melissa.

-

-A little, yes, probably.

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-Is that unreasonable?

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-NOISE FROM WARDROBE

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-Oh!

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-Hey, OK?

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-Hey, OK?

-

-Kevin!

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-Have you seen Debbie's

-little blue skirt anywhere?

0:14:240:14:27

-Oh, here it is.

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-Alright.

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-Bye now.

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-What do you want?

0:14:440:14:45

-As you're not cooking tonight...

0:14:450:14:47

-As you're not cooking tonight...

-

-Go away, please.

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-..can you help me

-with your old chest of drawers?

0:14:480:14:51

-Go away.

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-Go away.

-

-I want to move it.

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-Oi!

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-I don't like it where it is.

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-I'm sorry for earlier.

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-I'm worried about tonight.

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-We all get that, I think.

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-Where's the food from the bags gone?

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-Where's the food from the bags gone?

-

-Have you checked the bin?

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-It's empty.

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-What am I going to do, Debs?

0:15:290:15:31

-You'll have to order a takeaway.

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-Yes! I'm better. I'd love

-a shish kebab, extra chilli.

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-A takeaway isn't good enough

-for John Ashworth.

0:15:370:15:41

-Endaf said that he complained about

-the food at Rick Stein's restaurant.

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-What am I going to do, Debs?

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-How about apologizing to Darren

-and asking him nicely to reconsider?

0:15:480:15:54

-Why don't you bribe him?

-Offer him money?

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-He won't do anything for me.

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-He won't do anything for me.

-

-Go and try.

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-He just threw me out.

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-He just threw me out.

-

-Go and try again.

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-Up to here.

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-Is it going well?

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-No, not really.

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-Was that in the big parcel?

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-Was that in the big parcel?

-

-Yes.

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-And the costumes for tonight.

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-I'm going to look fantastic.

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-The most handsome there, guaranteed.

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-I don't know

-if I'm doing this right.

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-What does it say in the book?

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-What does it say in the book?

-

-Blow into the mouth.

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-That's what you're doing.

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-That's what you're doing.

-

-Nothing's happening.

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-He's not going to wake up

-and chat to you, is he?

0:17:040:17:07

-Then how do I know

-I'm doing it right?

0:17:070:17:10

-You won't, not until it happens

-in real life.

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-So, I won't know I can do it

-until someone's dying?

0:17:130:17:16

-No, basically.

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-That's not ideal, is it?

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-Not really.

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-You're supposed to exert pressure

-on the heart as well.

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-CPR.

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-CPR.

-

-Oh, clever.

0:17:330:17:34

-Cardiopulmonary resuscitation.

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-Ooh, very clever, Kevin Rees.

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-I did the course a while back.

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-My name's on the wall

-of the bar at the Lion.

0:17:420:17:45

-First aid qualified.

0:17:450:17:47

-One.

0:17:550:17:56

-You have to press harder.

0:17:570:17:59

-Shift. I'll show you.

0:17:590:18:00

-You must have rhythm.

0:18:030:18:06

-One, two, three, push.

0:18:080:18:11

-One, two, three, push.

0:18:120:18:14

-One, two, three...

0:18:150:18:16

-One, two, three...

-

-ESCAPING WIND

0:18:160:18:17

-What have you done?

0:18:170:18:18

-I think I've killed him.

0:18:190:18:20

-Give him mouth to mouth.

0:18:210:18:22

-Ugh!

0:18:240:18:25

-Well?

0:18:260:18:27

-I didn't like to disturb them.

0:18:280:18:29

-I didn't like to disturb them.

-

-What were they doing?

0:18:290:18:30

-Snogging, I think.

0:18:310:18:32

-Snogging, I think.

-

-Who?

0:18:320:18:33

-Gwenllian.

0:18:330:18:34

-Gwenllian.

-

-And Kevin?

0:18:340:18:35

-I think so. She must be desperate.

0:18:350:18:37

-Where have you been?

0:18:390:18:40

-Where have you been?

-

-At the food bank.

0:18:400:18:42

-Was there anything there for dinner?

0:18:420:18:43

-Was there anything there for dinner?

-

-What were you doing there?

0:18:430:18:45

-I took the food

-Debbie bought for Darren there.

0:18:460:18:49

-It was a shame to waste it.

0:18:490:18:51

-It was a shame to waste it.

-

-Oh, I don't deserve this.

0:18:510:18:53

-You do. You were mean to Darren.

0:18:540:18:56

-Just so some stuck-up snobs

-could stuff their faces.

0:18:560:19:00

-Ha-ha-ha-ha.

-Thanks for the lesson in ethics.

0:19:000:19:03

-It doesn't help me now.

0:19:040:19:05

-Please, Debs,

-please, please, please.

0:19:060:19:08

-What?

0:19:090:19:09

-What?

-

-Will you cook for John and Melissa?

0:19:090:19:12

-It's too late now.

0:19:120:19:14

-It's too late now.

-

-Oh...

0:19:140:19:15

-Come with me.

0:19:210:19:22

-Oh, give me the money back.

0:19:270:19:29

-And the other one.

0:19:320:19:34

-What's the plan?

0:19:360:19:38

-The only option is to appeal

-to Darren's better nature.

0:19:380:19:41

-Eat a bit of humble pie.

0:19:420:19:43

-Whatever humble pie is,

-it's better than Darren's cooking.

0:19:430:19:47

-Hey, where are you going?

0:19:480:19:49

-Dad's going to suck up to Darren.

0:19:490:19:52

-Oh, and what did you see

-Gwenllian and Kevin doing?

0:19:520:19:56

-Does it matter? Come on.

0:19:560:19:58

-What the hell...

0:20:010:20:04

-Sorry, we have to save the world.

0:20:040:20:06

-Is Darren in?

0:20:070:20:08

-Is Darren in?

-

-No.

0:20:080:20:09

-Where is he?

0:20:090:20:10

-Where is he?

-

-I don't know, do I?

0:20:100:20:12

-If only Superman was here

-with his X-ray vision!

0:20:120:20:16

-Is Darren alright?

0:20:160:20:18

-Is Darren alright?

-

-No, he's very upset.

0:20:180:20:20

-And it's no wonder,

-after this one was so mean to him.

0:20:200:20:24

-Ooh, look, John.

0:20:250:20:27

-Oh, heavens, they're early.

0:20:270:20:29

-Everyone, behave. No swearing.

0:20:300:20:32

-They hate that. Endaf said.

0:20:330:20:35

-Why did you lie

-that Darren wasn't in?

0:20:360:20:39

-It'll do David good

-to suffer a bit longer.

0:20:390:20:42

-To the Batmobile!

0:20:420:20:43

-John, is it?

0:20:510:20:52

-Hello. Donald, is it?

0:20:520:20:55

-Weren't they characters?

0:20:550:20:57

-Sorry, we don't know them.

-They've just moved in.

0:20:570:21:01

-How are you, Melissa?

0:21:010:21:02

-How are you, Melissa?

-

-Sorry for being early.

0:21:020:21:04

-I've bought these

-so that we can have cocktails.

0:21:040:21:07

-This is Debbie.

0:21:070:21:08

-This is Debbie.

-

-Hello.

0:21:080:21:09

-And Dyfrig.

0:21:100:21:11

-And Dyfrig.

-

-Good evening.

0:21:110:21:12

-I hope you're not starving.

0:21:120:21:14

-Food isn't quite...

0:21:140:21:15

-We're alright for food.

0:21:160:21:17

-We're alright for food.

-

-No food?

0:21:170:21:19

-No. Didn't Endaf explain?

0:21:190:21:22

-We had chips on the way.

0:21:220:21:24

-We always have chips on a Friday.

0:21:250:21:26

-We always have chips on a Friday.

-

-Melissa grew up in a chippy.

0:21:260:21:28

-And proud of it. I can't stand

-people with airs and graces.

0:21:280:21:32

-Let's have a booze-up!

0:21:320:21:33

-You've got a nice place.

0:21:390:21:40

-You've got a nice place.

-

-Lovely.

0:21:400:21:41

-Thank you. We love it here.

0:21:420:21:44

-White wine, John?

0:21:450:21:47

-White wine, John?

-

-Have you got any cider?

0:21:470:21:49

-I hear you've eaten

-at Rick Stein's.

0:21:490:21:52

-Good grief, no. The only stein

-I like is one that's full of ale.

0:21:520:21:56

-Shall we go through?

0:21:570:21:58

-Well, what's this?

0:22:020:22:04

-The starters. Take a seat.

0:22:040:22:05

-The starters. Take a seat.

-

-Who made them?

0:22:050:22:06

-Darren made them all himself.

0:22:070:22:10

-And who's Darren?

0:22:100:22:11

-My son.

0:22:110:22:12

-They look nice.

0:22:130:22:14

-Thank you.

0:22:140:22:15

-Fine cuisine!

0:22:180:22:19

-We're not used to this.

-Do you have room, Melissa?

0:22:200:22:23

-Of course.

0:22:240:22:25

-You must be very proud of him,

-Donna.

0:22:270:22:29

-Yes. Yes, I am.

0:22:290:22:31

-And me. He's a good boy.

0:22:310:22:34

-Shall we sit down?

0:22:340:22:35

-I'll look for the cider.

0:22:350:22:37

-This'll do.

0:22:370:22:38

-I took everything to the food bank.

0:22:400:22:41

-I took everything to the food bank.

-

-Mam had enough stuff for him.

0:22:410:22:43

-Why didn't you say you were cooking?

0:22:450:22:47

-I never said I wouldn't, did I?

0:22:470:22:49

-So, you're sticking to your course?

0:22:520:22:53

-So, you're sticking to your course?

-

-I had two choices.

0:22:530:22:55

-Give up or accept

-Gwenllian and Mam's advice.

0:22:550:22:58

-That's what I did.

0:22:580:22:59

-Go to the table.

0:22:590:23:01

-It looks as if Endaf

-wound up David big time.

0:23:040:23:07

-So they tease him at work too!

0:23:080:23:11

-S4C Subtitles by Testun Cyf.

0:23:360:23:39

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0:23:390:23:40

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