Bob a Marianne Drama

-*

-Saturday Morning

-Coity, Bridgend

-You'll love this, Marianne!

-Toad in the hole,

-a la Heston Blumenthal.

-"That's right."

-"After this exercise,

-your face will have a lovely glow."

-If I wanted a lovely glow,

-I'd have a glass of Sauvignon.

-Cardiff Bay

-What's happening this weekend, Dad?

-What's happening this weekend, Dad?

-

-Don't play the innocent with me.

-We don't want any fuss,

-so don't spend too much money on us.

-I won't.

-I'm glad you mentioned money.

-Alys and me are strapped for cash

-this month. Sorry.

-For goodness sake, Alun!

-You don't even pay us any rent but

-we pay the mortgage on that flat.

-OK, I'll fork out yet again.

-OK, I'll fork out yet again.

-

-Cheers, Dad. You're the best.

-Do you have plans for tonight?

-I need a tiny favour, if that's OK.

-Tonight is currently entirely free.

-See you then?

-See you then?

-

-Of course.

-"Pitter-patter those fingertips

-all over."

-PHONE

-"Now - kissing frogs."

-Hiya, Mami. Who's that?

-It's just the TV, love.

-So, spill the beans.

-What are your plans for today?

-It's a wedding anniversary,

-not a wedding.

-Deets, Mam!

-Are you home today and tonight?

-Don't make a fuss, Alys.

-PHONE PINGS

-PHONE PINGS

-

-We'll have a quiet night in.

-Oh, OK. Laters.

-See you later.

-Bless.

-"Put your head back

-and stick out your tongue."

-Subtitles

-The Silver Wedding Anniversary

-Just trying to look younger, Bob.

-Full Facelift Without The Knives.

-It says so right here.

-Marianne, my love,

-you don't need to look any younger.

-You're the sexiest fifty-something

-in Coity.

-It's been an age

-since our worlds collided.

-Failing to stop at a red light.

-Failing to stop at a red light.

-

-Sorry, constable!

-Who'd have thought it? 25 years,

-two fantastic kids and a happy life.

-Well done, Marianne.

-"Cover your teeth with your lips

-and kiss those little frogs."

-"Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!"

-Mid Morning...

-Dave and Joan gave it a like.

-What are they up to?

-A cruise.

-Mediterranean?

-Mediterranean?

-

-Caribbean.

-No kids.

-DCI Delme gave it a like.

-Where is he now?

-Where is he now?

-

-Thailand.

-Golfing.

-Bob, what did they like?

-This.

-Delete it!

-Mid afternoon...

-Where are Alun and Alys?

-That was Mary from down the road...

-..warning us they're throwing

-a party for their daughter tonight.

-She hopes

-we won't mind a bit of noise.

-I hope you told her we do mind

-and we'll phone the police.

-I am the police, Marianne!

-Well, I was the police anyway.

-It'll be dark soon.

-They could've sent flowers by now.

-Maybe they'll bring some with them.

-Or maybe

-they've just flippin' forgot.

-What exactly did Alun say to you?

-He said something

-about seeing us today.

-Obviously, he wanted it

-to be a surprise.

-Obviously, Bob,

-or just wishful thinking?

-You spoke to Alys.

-What do you think?

-I think if I didn't do everything

-for this flippin' family...

-..no flippin' thing would get done.

-OK! You know where I'll be

-if you need me.

-Who are you today -

-Hamilton or Rosberg?

-I was thinking more

-of someone like Alain Prost.

-I haven't forgotten.

-Alain Prost won the grand prix

-on our wedding day.

-That's enough sulking.

-I've been thinking

-about what Alun said to you...

-..and what Alys said to me.

-I think they were leaving us clues.

-Clues?

-Yes. They both asked

-what we were doing today.

-Yes.

-Alun asked me if I was available

-to help him with something...

-..in the flat.

-The flat?

-Later...

-Hello, puss!

-Marianne.

-"Hello, Mam and Dad.

-Sorry we're not here to see you.

-"Gone west for the night.

-"Could you feed the cat?"

-Smiley face. Kiss, kiss, kiss.

-"P.S. Dan might be in..."

-Dan?

-"Dan might be in and out

-but don't trust him with the cat!"

-Hiya!

-That's so sad, dude.

-You really thought Alun and Alys had

-organized a surprise party tonight?

-Instead, they've taken off

-without even sending you a card?

-That's so uncool.

-It's not just uncool, Dan.

-Quite frankly,

-it's completely unforgivable.

-We've spent our lives

-running around after those two...

-..and now the evidence shows

-they've treated us...

-..with a complete lack

-of due care and attention.

-What will you do - arrest them?

-What will you do - arrest them?

-

-Hang fire.

-Chill.

-They're kids and I've noticed

-they're spoilt ones at that.

-Marianne, they can hardly find their

-way to college without Google Map.

-We didn't spoil our children.

-We worked hard

-to get them through college.

-It didn't come cheap did it, Bob?

-It didn't come cheap did it, Bob?

-

-No.

-You've got it wrong, Dan.

-You've got it wrong, Dan.

-

-If you say so.

-The new people they're mixing with

-are a bad influence.

-Would you ignore your parents

-on their big day, eh?

-Eh?

-Eh?

-

-Eh?

-It's the other way around

-in my family.

-Mam and Dad went off on a gap year

-during my A levels.

-Then they forgot my 18th birthday.

-Then they forgot my 18th birthday.

-

-Oh, no! Shame.

-It's a shame Alun and Alys

-don't have your parents.

-They deserve each other.

-The thing is, Bob and Maz,

-I couldn't care less.

-Kids these days...

-..don't want to feel under pressure

-from needy parents.

-Do what my folks did.

-Reclaim your lives.

-And how are we

-meant to do that, Dan?

-Celebrate your silver wedding

-with the people who matter.

-And who are they?

-And who are they?

-

-The important people, dude.

-The people

-who are in your orbit now.

-Like Louisa!

-Hiya! How's it going? I'm Louisa.

-Jac and Wil from upstairs

-are always up for a party.

-Whoa! We don't know these people.

-If you've learned anything today,

-it's to love the ones you're with.

-Prosecco?

-Much later...

-So guys, what's on the bucket list?

-South America, like my folks?

-No, I don't think so.

-What I really fancy

-is caravanning in Capel Curig.

-Kalahari!

-Caravanning in the Kalahari!

-That's right.

-It has to start with a C.

-Kayaking in Kenya.

-Marianne!

-Marianne!

-

-Here we go.

-We need to mark the end of an era

-and the beginning of our new life.

-Here I have items of interest

-from Alun's room and Alys's room.

-You always go one step too far.

-If you think this is going too far,

-I've only just got started!

-Give me strength!

-Bob, don't leave the door open

-or the cat will...

-I can't believe

-you didn't post the card.

-I can't believe you didn't check

-the flowers had been delivered.

-They must have been disappointed.

-They must have been disappointed.

-

-No, anniversaries aren't a big deal.

-The florist should have told me

-the payment hadn't gone through.

-Let's take a bottle of wine

-over there tonight.

-What's going on? Schwarzenegger!

-What's happening?

-Dad!

-Dad!

-

-Oh! Alys.

-Alun.

-Don't panic.

-Where's Mam?

-Listen, kids!

-It has come to our attention...

-..that we must make a monumental

-decision to reclaim our lives.

-We're going to start

-spending our money on ourselves.

-But it doesn't mean

-we don't love you.

-Alun!

-Alun!

-Prosecco?

-.

-Subtitles

-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

-Nothing happened did it, Marianne?

-I don't know

-why everyone's so upset.

-You only had a little lie-down

-after the party.

-Don't get divorced coz of that.

-Yes, Bob yelled about you being

-dead to him before he stormed out...

-..but I'm sure he didn't mean it.

-Unless something did happen.

-But it didn't, did it, Marianne?

-We're shocked, Dad. Really shocked.

-You didn't answer our calls.

-Do you know how many texts we sent?

-Do you know how many texts we sent?

-

-34.

-I never thought I'd have to say this

-to you, Dad, of all people.

-You embarrassed me and Alys

-in front of our friends.

-What was Mam doing with Dan?

-Schwarzenegger is still in shock.

-Why didn't you stop her, eh?

-Why didn't you stop her, eh?

-

-Eh?

-OK, I get it.

-You don't want to talk.

-Two can play at that game, Dad.

-Alun and I are now

-consciously uncoupled from you.

-Don't come running when you've spent

-all your money on stupid trips.

-Yes, we know! Louisa told us.

-Canoeing in Kathmandu?

-Don't bother sending us selfies.

-And don't ask

-to look after the cat again.

-Later that week...

-This is a nightmare.

-I can't go on like this.

-"Wash these mugs".

-Here's another one.

-"Wash these mugs. Final warning.

-Time - 3.15pm, Thursday."

-The flat is plastered

-in flippin' sticky notes.

-Tidy this up. Clear that away.

-I even found one on my pants.

-"Have you worn these

-more than once?"

-Disgusting!

-Yes, they probably were, Alun.

-Yeah, but that's not the point,

-Alys.

-What shall we do?

-We've got to do something.

-Right! What have you two

-managed to get done today?

-Have you learned anything

-from the Kardashians?

-Don't you have lectures to go to?

-Alun never goes to his early ones.

-Not quite

-up to Heston's standards tonight.

-Oh, Marianne.

-That's tight, guys.

-You can't waste your lives...

-..over something trivial

-that probably never happened.

-What do you mean by probably

-and what do you mean by trivial?

-Guys! We've been over this

-and it won't bring Bob back.

-No, I know.

-Idiot.

-Not, you, Dan - Bob.

-Throwing away 25 years of marriage

-for this stupid jealousy.

-It's not the first time

-I've been chased by a younger man...

-..but I've never succumbed.

-We don't need to know.

-I'll tell you anyway.

-We were on holiday in Spain.

-The air was warm

-and the waiters were cool.

-Alun and Alys were toddling around

-outside a restaurant.

-Alun kept taking his nappy off.

-Nothing's changed! He thought the

-waterfall in the Bay was a urinal.

-Oh, the look on people's faces

-as they left after the Lion King!

-Anyway. Back to the waiters.

-We're sorry, Dad. We were upset.

-Yes, and very rude.

-We understand that you want to be

-independent and have your own lives.

-Yes, and we realize you want to

-spend money on yourselves.

-Really? That's nice.

-You can't do it on your own, Dad!

-You can't do it on your own, Dad!

-

-I've been fine on my own, thank you.

-In fact, I've had an amazing time.

-I went to a toy sale in Carmarthen

-and I found this.

-A bargain.

-Dench.

-Dench.

-

-Boom!

-Yes, but that's not the real world.

-You belong here, at home. Together.

-At home...

-..looking forward

-to your twilight years.

-You'll have the pleasure of watching

-Alun and me start our careers...

-..meet partners and enjoy

-looking after your grandchildren...

-..just as you did with us.

-Imagine the fun you'll have.

-Imagine the fun you'll have.

-

-We won't need nannies.

-You can buy toys for them.

-It'll be a new life for you.

-Excuse me.

-Oh, Daddy!

-So.

-Purse your lips

-and tilt your head...

-..as though you were kissing a frog.

-Louisa, do you think

-my children are spoilt?

-No, Marianne.

-You're the best mother in the world.

-Don't worry, Maz.

-All parents blame themselves

-for how their kids turn out...

-..just like every kid blames

-their parents for everything else.

-Let them go to let them grow.

-Fly over that rainbow.

-Marianne!

-Thank goodness you're here.

-I've just seen the future

-and it's frightening.

-United we stand, divided we fall.

-I've been a bit hasty.

-Weighing up the new evidence

-which came to my attention...

-..I've made a monumental decision.

-If you can promise me nothing

-happened between you and him...

-..we can forget everything

-and go back to the original plan.

-The one we hatched at the party?

-The one we hatched at the party?

-

-Yes.

-Alun and Alys came to remind me that

-one day, we may be lucky enough...

-..to be grandparents...

-..and perhaps

-we should start saving now.

-So, if I say nothing happened

-between me and that clothes horse...

-..everything

-will get back to normal again.

-I'll come home

-and we'll start a new life.

-What about your sulks and the way

-you doubt me after all these years?

-Am I expected to forgive it all?

-Am I expected to forgive it all?

-

-Yes.

-No.

-I am sorry, Marianne.

-I'm sorry too, constable.

-Nothing happened between me and Dan.

-Isn't that right?

-Isn't that right?

-

-Yes, of course. Nothing happened.

-I'd never fancy someone

-who's old enough to be my mother!

-My old number plate!

-Yes, on the car you were driving

-when you bumped into me.

-It's just a small present

-as a reminder.

-It was the best day of my life.

-Where's my Katherine Jenkins poster?

-Marianne, please stay.

-We're only on the chin in face yoga.

-Don't worry. Mam can come back

-to give us yoga lessons.

-We'll miss her cooking too.

-Come over any time for supper, Mam.

-Apart from Fridays and Saturdays.

-Thursdays are tricky too.

-What about Mondays?

-I may have cooked too much

-and cleaned too much...

-..and even

-looked after you too much.

-You're 20 years old.

-I'll let you go to help you grow.

-Fly over that rainbow.

-Come on, Marianne!

-We're flying tomorrow morning.

-Flying where?

-South America.

-South America.

-

-Say hello to my folks.

-You're leaving tomorrow? We need you

-to look after Schwarzenegger.

-Sorry. Not this time.

-Your Katherine Jenkins poster

-is in the cupboard.

-Sorry about the Sellotape!

-Remember to set your alarms

-for the morning.

-Marianne!

-Come on, Maz - the clock is ticking.

-Come on, Maz - the clock is ticking.

-

-I do realize that, Dan.

-Thank you.

-Maz, come on!

-On my way. Right beside you.

-S4C subtitles by Eirlys A Jones

-.