Episode 138 Eggheads

JEREMY VINE: These people are amongst the greatest quiz players in Britain.

Together they make up the Eggheads,

arguably the most formidable quiz team in the country.

The question is, can they be beaten?

Welcome to Eggheads, the show where a team of five quiz challengers

pit their wits against possibly the greatest quiz team in Britain.

You may recognise them as they are Goliaths in the world of TV quiz shows. They are the Eggheads.

Taking on the might of our quiz Goliaths today are Beauty and the Beef.

The team are all body builders who have become friends

through meeting at competitions and online forums.

They all compete in various competitions without the use of performance-enhancing drugs.

Let's meet them.

Hello, I'm Jeff. I'm 52. I'm an author and personal trainer.

Hi, I'm John. I'm 36 and I'm also a personal trainer.

Hiya, I'm Jamie. I'm 30 and I'm an IT services manager.

Hi, I'm Kelly. I'm 36 and I'm a yoga instructor.

Hi, I'm Paul. I'm 25. I'm a personal trainer and I'm a managing director.

-Welcome Beauty and the Beef.

-Hello.

What a striking team we have here. Very, very well built indeed.

-I hope I'm not being rude to Kelly in saying that, but you are all body builders?

-Yes.

And you're 52, Jeff?

-Yes.

-You look well on it!

That's very kind of you to say so. I mean, if I do,

that's a testament to the benefits of pumping iron day in, day out,

for the last 34 years.

Without drugs, it's important to say, because a lot of people assume

if somebody has a massive physique, that it must be drug-induced.

Well, I mean, I'm not massive, er, but I have a long shelf life.

And, er, athletes that take drugs

may in fact progress very rapidly for a short time,

but then they'll come down just as quickly as they rose to the top.

Welcome. We're impressed already and you haven't even answered a question yet!

Every day there's £1,000 worth of cash up for grabs for our challengers.

If they fail to defeat the Eggheads the prize money rolls over to the next show.

So, Beauty and the Beef, the Eggheads, you'll be pleased to know, have won the last 17 games.

-Which means £18,000...

-Wow!

-..says you can't beat the Eggheads.

We can!

That's it. You've got a lot of determination, I can see that.

The first head-to-head battle is on the subject of Politics.

-Which one of you wants this?

-Well, ooh.

I mean, I said I would go.

-Do you want me to go?

-Yeah.

-Do you want me to do it?

-Bless you.

History and Politics were the two least popular subjects,

but I think the view was that because I'm the oldest

I'm likely to have experienced more history and more politics,

so I'll volunteer.

OK, against which Egghead? Which one looks like the political turkey?

I think I'd like to compete against Barry.

-Barry, our new boy? OK.

-That's correct.

Jeff from Beauty and the Beef against Barry from the Eggheads.

To ensure there's no conferring, take your positions in the Question Room.

OK, it's Politics. I'll ask you three multiple-choice questions in turn,

whoever answers the most is the winner. Jeff, you can choose first or second set of questions.

I'll go first, please.

Which political party

did William Gladstone represent as prime minister four times?

Well, I don't think the Labour Party was in existence

when Gladstone was prime minister.

I think the Labour Party was founded in 1900.

I think that the Conservative prime minister about that time

was Benjamin Disraeli.

So, I'm pretty certain that William Gladstone

was a Liberal prime minister.

Great stuff. You're right. Liberal.

In 2005, Barry, which British politician promised that voting Tory

"Will cause your wife to have bigger breasts

"and increase your chances of owning a BMW?"

I don't think it's the sort of thing David Cameron would say.

I think Jeffrey Archer would probably have more nous not to say that,

so I shall go for Boris Johnson.

Boris Johnson is correct. Well done. It could only be him!

Over to you, Jeff.

Who became prime minister of Russia for the second time in May 2008?

Vladimir Putin is my favourite choice,

however, I believe that he actually changed jobs this year.

Er, if he is now prime minister, I think that maybe he had another job before that

but maybe he was prime minister before his, er, his penultimate job.

So, I've no feel for the other two.

I'm going to have to go Vladimir Putin.

You are right. Well done.

Barry, your question.

Which Republican did John F Kennedy defeat in the 1960 American presidential election?

Well, Dwight D Eisenhower was the president before the 1960 election.

Herbert Hoover was much earlier.

But, due to some chicanery by Mayor Daley in Chicago,

John F Kennedy defeated Richard Nixon in the 1960 election.

Very close election, you're right. It was Richard Nixon who lost.

Your question, Jeff. The Moderate Party led by Fredrik Reinfeldt

became the ruling political power in which Scandinavian country in 2006?

I don't know the answer to this

so this, unfortunately, is going to be a guess,

or, fortunately, if I happen to make the right guess.

Er...

I don't think it's...

..Sweden.

I'm going to go for Finland.

-Actually, it was Sweden.

-Oh, dear.

Two out of three, that means it's Barry's chance to take the round with this third question.

How many times has the French president Nicolas Sarkozy been married?

Well, his current wife is the delectable Car... Mrs Bruni.

Er, but how many times has he been married?

I know he's been married once before,

but I can't think of any other marriages he's had, so I'm going to say two.

Anyone remember any others?

Didn't he have one more wife before the last one?

-Yes, he did. It was three, Barry.

-Oh!

So, it's two-all after three questions, the scores are level.

We go to Sudden Death.

To make it that bit harder, these questions are not multiple-choice.

Jeff, here's yours.

Which American-born MP elected in 1919 said,

"Women have got to make the world safe for men

"since men have made it so darned unsafe for women."

I've heard the quote,

but it's the fact that it's an American-born member of parliament

which is giving me some difficulty.

Er, I would have said Winston Churchill, er,

because he had American connections.

But I just cannot think who it might be.

Er...

I'll go, er...

..with er, Asquith.

That's the wrong answer.

It was Nancy Astor.

-Right.

-She was mates with Churchill, wasn't she, anybody?

-Yeah.

Barry, your question.

In 1956, Kirribilli House

became an official residence of the prime minister of which country?

Kirribilli.

Well, I've never heard of this but it sounds vaguely Australian.

So, er, on the basis that there's many towns in Australia that have similar sounding names,

I will say Australia.

Australia is correct. It's the official residence in Sydney.

You've taken the round on Politics.

Sorry, Jeff. Strong performance. Strong man's performance.

But you were beaten by our Egghead so you can't help your team in the final round.

Do, both of you, come back to the studio.

The challengers have lost one brain.

Eggheads have lost no brains from that final round.

Next subject is Arts & Books. Which of you wants Arts & Books?

PAUL: How about you, Kelly?

-I'd be no good. I'd be rubbish.

-I think Kelly should answer Arts & Books.

-Yeah.

-Jamie, would you...? Yeah.

-Jamie.

-Yeah. Are you OK with that?

-Yeah?

-Go on, OK.

-Who's doing it?

-Jamie.

-I will.

-Jamie against which Egghead?

PAUL: Which one would you like? You can't have Barry.

-Daphne?

-I like it.

-Daphne, we'll go with Daphne.

So, Jamie from Beauty and the Beef versus Daphne from the Eggheads.

To ensure there's no conferring, take your positions in the Question Room.

-Jamie, would you like the first set of questions or the second?

-First, please.

Here we go. Smee is the right-hand man of which fictional character?

Er, it's an easy one this one.

My little girl loves Peter Pan, so I'm going to go with Captain Hook.

Captain Hook is correct. Thank her for that.

CLAPPING

Daphne, your question.

In which country was the writer Marian Keyes born?

She's Irish.

-She is indeed.

-Yes, yes.

-You got it. Well done.

Jamie, back to you.

Only three names appear in the titles of Shakespeare's history plays.

Henry, John, and which other?

Erm, I wouldn't say it was Charles and I don't think it was William,

so I'm going to go with Richard.

Yeah, Richard is right.

-Richard I.

-No!

Richard II, what other plays?

Richard II, Richard III.

-There's no Richard I?

-No.

OK, Daphne. Your turn. SMERSH, meaning "Death to Spies",

is the counter-intelligence agency featured in a series of novels involving which character?

I'm sure CJ would have loved this.

It's James Bond.

James Bond is absolutely right.

OK, it's two points apiece.

Jamie try and get this right if you can, because you can put pressure on Daphne.

Marlow and Kurtz are characters from which work by Joseph Conrad?

Erm, I'm going to have to take a complete guess at this one.

I'm going to guess at Heart of Darkness.

-Jeff, you pleased about that?

-I am indeed.

He got it right. Well done, Jamie.

JEFF: Well done, Jamie.

CLAPPING

-So, Daphne, if you get this wrong you are out of the final.

-I know.

The roots of the artistic movement, Dadaism, are said to go back

to the Cabaret Voltaire in which European city?

I think that was Zurich.

You're right, it's Zurich. So you've had a perfect round both of you.

Three points each and now we move to Sudden Death.

Jamie, your question. Which novel by EM Forster contains the famous quote,

"Only connect."

Erm...

I'm afraid I don't know any novels by EM Forster, so I'm going to have to pass.

OK, the answer is Howard's End.

Daphne, if you get this right, you've taken the round.

Sudden Death, remember?

Which 17th-century French playwright

wrote the plays Le Misanthrope and Le Malade Imaginaire?

-Moliere.

-Is the correct answer, Daphne, well done to you, you've taken the round.

Sorry, Jamie, you just got edged out by our Egghead

so you won't be able to help your team in the final round.

Do please, both of you, come back, rejoin your team-mates.

As it stands the challengers have lost two brains from the final round whilst the Eggheads have lost none.

The next subject is Music. Who from the challengers wants to play on Music?

-JOHN: I'll go.

-JEFF: John? You OK for doing that?

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-John, the personal trainer...

-Yep.

-..who is looking unmusical?

-Chris, please.

-Chris!

LAUGHTER

It's John from Beauty and the Beef against Chris from the Eggheads.

To ensure there's no conferring, please take your positions in the Question Room.

Three questions on Music, multiple-choice.

-You get the first or second set, which do you want, John?

-First, please.

How many strings does a standard double bass have?

Erm, well, I'm learning to play the guitar.

The guitar has got six strings.

Er, and I know a bass guitar has four, so I'm going to go for four.

Four is correct. Well done.

Chris, your question. In which year was Charlotte Church born?

Oh.

Well, she's... Last I heard she was 22.

So that would make her born in 1986.

That's the correct answer.

John, your question. Which Irish singer attracted international criticism

after tearing up a picture of Pope John Paul II

live on American TV in 1992?

Er, I think...

One of my favourite artists is Prince.

He wrote a song for her which was her biggest hit, so I'm going to go for Sinead O'Connor.

Absolutely right, well done.

Chris your question. Who composed the scores for the films Zulu, Born Free and Dances With Wolves?

Well, some of the score from Dances With Wolves is some of my favourite pieces of music

so it's John Barry.

Yeah, really good, Chris. Well done.

John back to you.

Which film star is the bass guitarist for the rock band Dogstar,

formerly known as Small Fecal Matter?

I have absolutely no idea, so I'm going to guess Keanu Reeves.

Let's see what your team-mates think. Anyone heard of Small Fecal Matter?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Dog Star. Keanu Reeves, you're right. Good!

-Yeah.

-Three out of three.

APPLAUSE

Straight to it. Puts the pressure on our Egghead here as well.

Here's your question. Get this wrong, you're not in the final round.

Crispian Mills, the grandson of the Oscar-winning actor John Mills,

was the lead singer of which 1990s band?

Hmm...

I don't think it was Kula Shaker.

Certainly quirky name for an obviously British group. I'll say Shed Seven.

Shed Seven has prompted celebrations already.

Early celebrations next door, because Chris you were wrong, it was Kula Shaker.

So, John, you've knocked out your Egghead.

Well done to you, personal trainer with big biceps.

It's goodbye to Chris. He won't be in the final round. Do, both of you, come back to the studio.

The challengers have now lost two brains and the Eggheads have lost one brain, which is Chris.

Our last subject is Sport.

I think you probably fancy this.

-JEFF: It would have been...

-I think it's going to be you.

-Kelly or Paul?

-You happy for Paul to do it?

-Yeah, that's fine.

-All right? Paul.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Paul will do it?

-Yeah.

-Against which Egghead? You can have Judith or CJ.

-Judith.

-Judith?

-Judith? Yeah?

-Yeah.

-We'll go for Judith.

Paul from Beauty and the Beef versus Judith from the Eggheads. Please take your positions.

OK, I'm going to ask each of you three questions on Sport in turn.

Paul, if you get an answer right we want your chest to ripple!

For sure!

Do you want the first or second set of questions on Sport?

I'll go for the first please.

First question. Which country won football's Euro 2008?

Er, well, it was er, Germany and Spain together,

and er, Spain were victorious.

I hope that's right.

Spain did win. I got a memory it was 7-0 but it was only one, wasn't it?

Just one goal.

-Fernando Torres.

-That's right, Torres.

-Yeah.

-Yes.

-Well done, Daphne.

Liverpool player!

OK, Judith, your question. Between 1968 and 1980,

the name of every host city of the Summer Olympics began with which letter?

-M.

-M is right.

-Mexico City, etc.

-Yeah. That's it.

M. Paul,

in rugby union, what number shirt is normally worn by a scrum half?

Erm, I have no idea...

..so I'll take a guess, er...

..I will go for 9.

Good guess, you're right.

Taking the lead against our Egghead.

Stand by, Judith.

Which Sri Lankan wicketkeeper and batsman

scored 968 test match runs in 2007

at a remarkable average of 138?

Was it...

I've just got to sort out what sounds Sri Lankan.

Kumar is an Indian name, isn't it?

So maybe I'll eliminate that.

De Silva, that could be Goanese

because Goa is Portugal

and that's also India.

So, I'm going to try for, erm, the middle one which I can't pronounce.

-Sanath Jayasuriya?

-Yes.

-That's your answer?

-Yes.

-It's wrong, it's Kumar Sangakkara.

-Oh.

So, third question. If you get this one right, Paul, you have the round.

Which of men's golf's four major tournaments

falls last in the calendar year?

Erm, pfft! I don't know.

So, I'll take a guess at the PGA Championship.

-How did you come to that?

-It was in the middle.

LAUGHTER

-The middle was right.

-Yes, come on!

-Well done.

APPLAUSE

PAUL GRUNTS

Oh, look at that! Paul, you are with your team in the final.

Do rejoin your team-mates now.

This is what we've been playing towards.

It's time for the final round, which is General Knowledge.

But I'm afraid those who lost your head-to-heads won't be allowed to take part in this round.

So Jeff and Jamie, from Beauty and the Beef, and Chris and Judith, from the Eggheads,

would you please leave the studio?

John, Kelly and Paul, you are playing to win Beauty and the Beef £18,000.

Quite a lot of money.

CJ, Daphne and Barry, you're playing for something which money can't buy, the Eggheads' reputation.

As usual, I will ask each team three questions in turn.

This time the questions are all general knowledge. You ARE allowed to confer.

Beauty and the Beef, the question is are your three brains better than the Eggheads' three?

John, Kelly and Paul, do you want to go first or second?

-First?

-First.

-First, yeah.

-First, please.

The Ark of the Covenant was the sacred chest in which the ancient Hebrews kept what?

-Well, it was in the erm...

-The Ark of the Covenant?

-They put it in Indiana Jones.

-Indiana Jones! The Ten Commandments.

When they opened it in Indiana Jones the Ten Commandments...

-Marks covered their faces.

-Yeah, yeah!

-Because they didn't abide by them.

-Right.

KELLY: Yeah, OK!

We're going from Indiana Jones, er, the Ten Commandments.

Yeah, the film was a great help and you're right. The Ten Commandments...

APPLAUSE

..in the Ark of the Covenant.

OK, Eggheads, which American comic book writer

who co-created Spiderman, the X-Men, and the Incredible Hulk,

became publisher and editorial director of Marvel Comics in 1972?

-Stan Lee.

-Stan Lee.

-Yes.

Erm, in all the recent Marvel films

he has a very brief cameo appearance and it's Stan Lee.

Stan Lee is the right answer.

You got a point as well.

Next question is for Beauty and the Beef.

What is the name of the military tattoo first held in 1880

that was scrapped as a cost-cutting measure by Tony Blair in 1999?

-Do you know?

-No, but...

-Haven't got a clue?

-It...

The only thing I can think of is do you know when they do,

that display when they dismantle the cannons, doing all that stuff?

The Edinburgh Festival tattoo?

That's the only thing I can think of.

-What's it called though?

-I might say Royal Tournament, but I don't know.

-Ain't got a clue.

-Mine would be a complete guess and I'd say Royal Exhibition.

-I think Gala!

-Oh, no!

-All three?!

No, I think Tournament.

-Oh!

-Royal Tournament.

-Is that your answer?

-Yes.

We detect you're not certain.

-No, I'm not but...

-Pfft!

-You're right.

-Oh, come on!

-PAUL: It is the Royal Tournament.

-KELLY: Well done!

-OK, Eggheads.

-Whoo!

-Game on.

Which TV sketch show features the characters Jiffy the Traffic Warden

and the first black female US president?

-It's Little Miss Jocelyn.

-I don't know this one.

She is black and it's not in The Fast Show or Armstrong & Miller because I watch those.

I've seen...Yes, it is.

Yeah, it's Little Miss Jocelyn. I think she's on BBC 3.

In all the advertising sketches she's wearing a traffic warden's uniform.

Little Miss Jocelyn is the correct answer, Eggheads, well done.

Two apiece so you have to get this right to keep the pressure on them

otherwise they take charge.

Here's your question, Beauty and the Beef.

In Norse mythology, what type of creature is Sleipnir

who carried Odin between the worlds of the gods?

Sleipnir? Pfft! Erm...

-Did Nordic people believe in dragons?

-What do you think?

I'd have to say wolf.

-Yeah?

-Mm-hm.

Wolf.

-You want to say wolf?

-Yeah.

-Please be right.

-That's your answer? What's the reason for wolf?

-Kelly said wolf.

-You just said wolf, suddenly?

-Dragon is a big word.

It's just an association with erm...

You've got a Sleipnir wolf-thing going on!

-It's a horse.

-Argh!

-Norse horse!

Of course!

Maybe you pounced a bit too quickly there,

but the Eggheads must get this next question wrong

or it's curtains for the Beef.

Eggheads, "Where both deliberate, the love is slight."

"Whoever loved that loved not at first sight?"

Are lines from the poem Hero And Leander by which writer?

-All right, we're agreed we're not going to go for Shakespeare.

-No.

I can't think of anything like that from Shakespeare, from a poem.

-Me neither.

-No, but how about Marlowe?

He's not renowned for his poetry is he, Marlowe? He's renowned more for his plays.

I think Jonson is the cover bet, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-The most likely.

-Want to go for that?

-Yes.

-Yes.

We don't know it, erm...

We're going to go for what we think is the most likely which is Ben Jonson.

You are wrong.

-Christopher Marlowe.

-It's Christopher Marlowe.

-Sorry, but it's...

-You must be a lucky lot,

because it doesn't happen very often that they let you off the hook on the third question,

We are now in Sudden Death so anything can happen.

Here we go.

Which financial term is a Latin word originally meaning "It concerns"?

-Erm...

-A financial term.

-It concerns.

-It concerns.

-It's not et cetera, is it?

-No, no. I shouldn't think so.

Hang on though.

I can't even try to invent the word.

-Why don't we just say et cetera?

-Et cetera is the only thing that comes into my head but...

-Et cetera?

-Mmm.

OK. I'll take that as your answer.

It's a financial term. Interest.

-Oh!

-Ha-ha!

-Interest.

-No!

-I hadn't, didn't know that!

You're not out yet, there's £18,000 ready and waiting for you,

but they have to get the next question wrong and if they get it right you're going home without it.

So, here's the question, Eggheads, knowing all of that,

what is the lowest grade of non-commissioned officer in the British Army?

-A non-commissioned officer?

-A warrant officer.

No, it's non-commissioned.

-A warrant officer isn't commissioned.

-No.

-The lowest grade.

-Anything under that.

-So, like lance corporal?

-Oh, the lower...

-Oh, I see.

-Lance corporal...

-But lance corporal is not an officer.

No but, and...

-A lance corporal is a rank.

-At least they don't know it for sure!

Unless it's a warrant officer then it's the lowest grade of non-commissioned.

It's the highest grade of non-commissioned, you must be right.

-It must be lance corporal.

-I can't think of anything below lance corporal but...

-It's a private below lance corporal.

-Yeah.

-Yes.

-Is lance corporal non-commissioned?

-Yeah. Yeah. He's an NCO.

-Logically what else can it be then?

-OK, then. Go for that?

-Yep.

Erm, again we're not sure, but we seem to have narrowed it down to a lance corporal.

You think lance corporal. And what does non-commissioned mean in this context?

-Over to Barry.

-Somebody who's not...

Commissioned is you receiving a warrant from the queen.

-Non-commissioned means?

-It means you haven't, I presume.

-You don't even know that?

I don't know how you've done it, but lance corporal is the right answer.

Congratulations, Eggheads, you've won.

APPLAUSE

The way they were going I couldn't believe they'd end up with the right answer!

-I knew the answer to that one.

-That's even worse!

The Eggheads have done what comes naturally to them. Their winning streak continues.

You can see why they're so good.

I'm afraid you won't be going home with the £18,000

which means that the money rolls over to our next show.

Eggheads, congratulations. Who will beat you? I wonder.

Join us next time to see if the new Challengers have the brains to defeat the Eggheads.

£19,000 says they don't.

Till then, goodbye.

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