Episode 139 Eggheads

These people are amongst the greatest quiz players in Britain.

Together they make up the Eggheads,

arguably the most formidable quiz team in the country.

The question is, can they be beaten?

Welcome to Eggheads, the show where a team of five quiz challengers

pit their wits against possibly the greatest quiz team in Britain.

You might recognise them, as they are Goliaths in the world of TV quiz shows. They are the Eggheads.

And taking on our quiz champions today are the Trite Young Things.

The team became friends after

attending Trinity Hall, Cambridge, together.

They are keen quizzers and in 2005 they came third

in the Campaign For Real Ale Convention Pub Quiz at Earl's Court.

-So let's meet them.

-Hi, I'm Tom.

I'm 26 and I'm a politics student.

Hi, I'm Jay. I'm 26 and I'm a barrister.

Hi, I'm Ross. I'm 29 and I'm a diplomat.

-Hi, I'm Dan. I'm 29 and I'm an actor.

-Hi, I'm Mark.

-I'm 28 and I work for the UN.

-So welcome, Trite Young Things.

-Thank you very much.

-You're all, I think,

quite brainy and quite high calibre.

That's what it says, but we'll see at the end.

We've got what? A chess champion. We've got somebody,

Ross, who speaks fluent Arabic.

-That's true, yeah.

-And a barrister.

And you met at Cambridge.

Did you all sit around talking about very intelligent things?

That's absolutely right. Very, very, very high-brow.

-No, I think the answer to that's "no".

-OK. But you met at college

and then you went your separate ways and you still stay in touch?

-Er, yeah. Absolutely.

-And you do some quizzing together?

We've done a few. We're demi-regulars in one in Shad Thames, another one

in Vauxhall and one in Islington.

We don't win every time, but we have occasionally come second.

Well, high-calibre team you're facing here, Eggheads.

Very, very high calibre.

See how you do. Good luck, guys. Great to have you. Every day,

there is £1,000 worth of cash up for grabs for our challengers.

However, if they fail to defeat the Eggheads, the prize money

rolls over to the next show.

So, Trite Young Things, the Eggheads have won the last 18 games,

which means £19,000 says you can't beat them.

-That'll do, gents.

-Yeah, it's not bad.

The first head-to-head battle is on the subject of Arts and Books.

So who wants that?

It follows the script, doesn't it?

-Got to follow the script.

-Oh, no. Is it really going to be me?

-Yes.

-Four on one.

-Yeah, go on, then. That'll do.

-We agreed it with you earlier.

If I lose, I'm going straight home.

So, Tom against which Egghead?

Take Kevin on.

Let's go for it. Give me "A" for Ashman. I'm going to have him.

-Kevin.

-OK. They're starting with a high-stakes gamble.

Tom from the Trite Young Things

against Kevin from the Eggheads on Arts and Books.

To ensure there's no conferring, please take your positions.

Stand by. I will ask each of you three multiple-choice questions on Arts and Books in turn.

Whoever answers the most questions correctly is the winner.

-And, Tom, you can choose the first or second set.

-Um, I will go first, please, Jeremy.

Your question. The sprite Ariel appears in which Shakespeare play?

Um...

Ariel is in The Tempest.

One of the only Shakespeare plays where there's songs in it.

She sings, "it" sings, Full Fathom Five, which IS The Tempest.

Great answer.

Complete with additional information. One point to you.

Kevin - Kiss, Kiss and the Wonderful Story Of Henry Sugar And Six More

are collections of short stories by which children's author?

Certainly doesn't sound like Lewis Carroll,

and I've not seen those in relation to JK Rowling.

It sounds as though they could be...

They sound Roald Dahl-ish titles.

So not actually knowing it...

Although faintly, Kiss, Kiss from somewhere.

Anyway, I'll say Roald Dahl.

Daphne, is he right?

Well, I hope so, cos that's what I'd have gone for.

Yeah, you're right, Kevin. Well done. Your question then, Tom.

Who wrote the 1938 autobiographical poem Autumn Journal?

I do not have a clue, Jeremy.

I'm not sure at all, but I'm going to have a go at WH Auden.

It wasn't WH Auden. It was Louis MacNeice, as a matter of fact.

So Kevin has a chance to pull clear.

Which artist created the controversial sculpture

the Aldeburgh Scallop,

a 12ft high, steel artwork in honour of Benjamin Britten?

It's been very controversial, this one,

because people thought it was just outsize.

I've been there, seen it, stood next to it. It's Maggi Hambling.

Very controversial on the beach there at Aldeburgh because of its size.

People thought it was out of scale, not in keeping with area.

I thought it was OK myself, but there we are.

Maggi Hambling is the correct answer. Well done, Kevin.

Do you go and investigate all the answers to quiz questions in person?

Ah, no, is the simple answer. I just happened to be there.

-Oh, yeah!

-Yeah, yeah.

OK, Tom, your question. If you get this wrong, you have been beaten

by Kevin and you will not be in the final round. So the high-stakes gamble won't have paid off.

Here's your question. Which Victorian author wrote The Nether World and New Grub Street?

Er, again, I don't know.

If it's Dickens, I'd have heard of it.

Mrs Gaskell wrote more...

The books of hers that I've heard of have been more tedious-sounding

than that, like North And South.

I don't remember her writing anything called The Nether World.

So even though I've never heard of the bloke, I'm going to go

-for George Gissing.

-Brilliant! You got it right. Well done.

That's the way.

Kevin, what is the name of the Roman vase discovered by Sir Gavin Hamilton in the 18th century

that is credited as one of the main inspirations for Keats' Ode On A Grecian Urn?

I'm not at all sure about this,

but the only one there that's ringing any bells is the Townley Vase,

so I shall have to go with that, I think.

I may well be wrong, but I'll go for the Townley Vase.

Townley Vase is correct, Kevin.

Tom, a brave plan. Didn't quite come off. You were beaten by our Egghead,

so you won't join your team

in the final round. Please, both of you, come back to the studio.

So as it stands, the challengers have lost

one brain from the final round. The Eggheads have lost none. Early days, though. Next subject is Geography.

Which of you well-travelled challengers wants this?

I could do that less badly than some of the other rounds.

There's gonna be sport, history or politics.

There will be sport, history or politics, something like that,

-so let's save... Do it, yeah! Ross, go on.

-I'll do Geography.

Yeah, Ross.

Oh, who are we gonna play?

I'd like to play against Daphne, cos then I won't feel so bad

when I lose, cos she's so nice.

She does deliver it with certain compassion

when she destroys people, yeah.

Ross from the Trite Young Things against Daphne from the Eggheads...

To ensure there's no conferring, please take your positions in the question room.

-So, Ross, you're well-travelled, right?

-Pretty well-travelled. I've lived and worked abroad.

-Working for the Foreign Office now?

-Yes. I was in Jerusalem before,

for three years, and I'm probably going to the States later in the year to work in the US.

And being a diplomat, do you have to be diplomatic the whole time or just when you're working?

If you ask my teammates that, they'll tell you I'm probably

one of the least diplomatic people

that they know, so I have to concentrate when I'm at work.

All right. Good luck.

I'm going to ask each of you three questions on geography in turn.

Ross, you can choose the first or second set.

I'm getting quite nervous about this, cos I think people at work

will be a bit disappointed if I don't do it very well.

So I think I'll choose the first set and try and have a good start.

And good luck to you. The Swan Hunter shipyard

was situated on which river?

Er, before you read the answers out,

or possible answers, I was thinking Tyne.

I'm pretty sure it's not the Mersey,

but when Clyde came up, that made me think again.

I'm going to go for Tyne on the basis

that that was what I thought of first. So I'll stick with Tyne.

-You had a bit of a Clyde moment, but you've...

-I did.

-You've come back to the Tyne?

-Yeah.

-That's a good thing. It's right.

-Good.

-Well done, Ross. Next question for you, Daphne.

What is the only country to share a border with Monaco?

That's France.

France is quite right.

Well done. One each.

Back to you, Ross.

Raritan Bay lies between New York and which US state?

The spelling, Ross, is R-A-R-I-T-A-N.

OK.

Um... In terms of those answers, I'm pretty sure it's not Vermont,

cos I'm pretty sure that's further north and not in that sort of area.

Um... I think of the three, if I have to plump for one of them,

it will be New Jersey.

-So I'll go with New Jersey.

-OK.

That's right. Well done, Ross.

Good.

Daphne, your question.

The Skagerrak Strait lies to the north of which country?

This is...

Did you ever see that lovely film with Danny Kaye called

Hans Christian Andersen?

There's a wonderful song in it

in which he says, "I've sailed up the Skagerrak."

And anyhow, it must be Denmark.

Denmark is right. Well done.

Third question.

See if you can keep the pressure on her, Ross. Here we go.

Heligoland Bight, the scene of a famous First World War naval battle,

lies off the coast of which country?

My first thought is that it's Germany. I've got a feeling

that Heligoland at one point belonged to Germany,

or still does, and was part of it. It's off Germany's Baltic coast.

If it turned out it wasn't Germany,

my relatives will absolutely kill me...

If it turned out it was Germany. So I'm going to go Germany.

-So just for your own personal safety?

-Yes.

-Please let it be Germany.

-It is Germany.

Well done.

OK, Daphne,

-you're under pressure now.

-I know.

-Cos he's got three out of three.

You get this wrong, you're not in the final round.

What is the most westerly, mainland

African nation through which the equator passes?

Oh! Which way is west? I can't tell my left from my right,

or my west from my east.

I'm trying to work it out. West is...?

That's...? So Uganda's east.

I don't know.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, Gabon.

-I don't know, Jeremy.

-Gabon, I don't know.

-Yeah.

Is it goodbye?

It's hello, cos Gabon is right.

OK, we go to sudden death. These questions are not multiple choice.

Which sea, an inlet of the Pacific Ocean,

separates the Korean peninsula from the east coast of China?

Jeremy, I'm just trying to think of any names of seas round there.

I can only think of the South China Sea, but that doesn't sound

like a good answer, cos you said it was the east coast of China.

Erm...

I can't think of any alternative, so... I'm not at all confident...

I'm going to go South China Sea.

It's the Yellow Sea.

Daphne, if you get this right, you've taken the round.

The Bay of Fundy and Ungava Bay,

which have the highest tidal ranges in the world, are in which country?

Oh! Canada.

Canada is right, so, Daphne,

you have taken the round against your young competitor.

That means, Ross, you won't play in the final, I'm sorry to say.

And I know your team wanted you to.

Do, both of you, come back to the studio.

The challengers have lost two brains from the final round,

while the Eggheads have lost none. Next subject is Film and Television.

Now this is, I suspect, another strong subject for you.

-None of us have a TV.

-This is our weakness.

-You haven't got a TV?

It's Jay or Mark, isn't it?

-I will be...

-You haven't even seen a film, have you?

-I don't even know what they are.

-You're going to have to do it.

Jay, you're out there.

-Against?

-Who's left?

-I reckon, let's have a go at Bazza.

-Take Barry.

-OK. Barry.

Barry, or as they call him, Bazza.

Trite Young Things against the Eggheads, round three. Here we go.

Multiple-choice questions, film and television.

Jay, you can choose first or second set.

I think I'll go first.

Jay, Kevin McCloud is best known for presenting

what type of TV programme?

Kevin McCloud is the chap who presents Grand Designs, I think.

I think he did fine art or something as a degree.

So given that Grand Designs is not to do with nature or cookery,

-I think I'lll go with property.

-You're being very careful.

Classic lawyer, just treading carefully there.

But you're right.

It is property. Not cookery.

Barry, which actor starred alongside

Bob Hope in the 1942 Road To Morocco?

I absolutely adore the Road films and I've watched all of them, so I know

for certain this was Bing Crosby.

Quite right. 66 years ago. Have they aged well?

They have indeed. I think the humour, in some parts, is still as relevant

today as it was then.

OK, Jay, your question. At which landmark

do the central characters in the film Sleepless In Seattle meet?

Well, Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan...

Um, well, it's Sleepless In Seattle, so I'm assuming

it's not the Empire State Building.

I'm going to go with the Space Needle for no apparent reason

-other than that I think it's in Seattle.

-That's wrong.

It was the Empire State Building.

Here we go, Barry, your question.

Alison Steadman and Larry Lamb played a married couple called

Pam and Mick in which TV sitcom?

Not sure on this one.

I've seen a lot of Men Behaving Badly

and I don't remember them appearing in there.

I don't think they would have appeared in Gavin & Stacey.

Which only leaves one. So I'll have to go for Peep Show.

Why don't you think they would have appeared in Gavin & Stacey?

On principle, or what?

It sounded American and they were English act...

Alison's an English actress, so I just thought she might not have

appeared in an American soap.

Yeah, funnily enough, it's a rare moment of me knowing slightly more

than you about one thing.

Gavin & Stacey is just about the best British sitcom at the moment.

-It's really worth catching up on and it is the answer.

-Oh!

They are in it. Pam and Mick, Alison Steadman, Larry Lamb.

Jay, what was the name of the Alan Bleasdale TV drama in which

Robert Lindsay played the politician Michael Murray?

No, I don't think it's GBH, cos I don't think I've heard of that.

Which leaves the other two.

Erm...

I remember there being something called A Very British Coup...

Sounds more likely.

So I think on that very slim basis I'll go for A Very British Coup.

-And it's the wrong answer.

-Ah!

-It's GBH, Jay.

Your question, Barry! Get this right, you take the round.

Dennis Hopper plays the terrifying Frank Booth

in which David Lynch film?

I really should get out more and watch more films.

Cos although I like Dennis Hopper as an actor, none of these particularly

ring any bells with me.

Erm, go for Blue Velvet.

You're right. It is Blue Velvet.

-Very lucky.

-So well done, Barry.

Newest Egghead takes the round there. Jay, you were beaten by him.

As a result, you won't be able to join your team in the final round.

Please, both of you, come back to the studio.

As it stands, the challengers have lost three from the final round.

Don't mean to rub it in. Eggheads still haven't lost any.

Our last subject is History... History...

-Oh, you were banking on this?

-That'll do. One of 'em.

-Shall I take it?

-Yours.

We're keeping Dan back, so we think...

Because I don't know anything about history.

-Have to be Mark.

-Have a go at Judith, I reckon.

We'll take Judith.

Mark from the Trite Young Things against Judith from the Eggheads.

You don't like history, you're saying?

-Well, it's so big, isn't it?

-It is big, yes.

-It happens all the time.

-It's big and it happens all the time. That's right.

To ensure there's no conferring, please take your positions.

Three questions on history in turn.

Mark, would you like the first or second set?

Absolutely first.

And absolutely, here we go. According to the Second World War propaganda poster,

what did careless talk do?

I'm 100% certain, well, 99% certain, that it is the middle one.

Careless talk costs lives.

And you are completely right. Well done.

Judith, what was the name given to the much criticised,

specially recruited auxiliary force sent to Ireland by the British

government in 1920 to supplement the Royal Irish Constabulary?

Erm, that was... What on earth are the Cherubims?

I've never heard of them, beyond being in the sky.

It's the Black and Tans.

Correct.

OK, next question to you, Mark.

Which European ruling dynasty was notorious

for centuries of inbreeding and has given its name to a projecting,

over-developed lower lip?

Right, well, I know all of those

were ruling dynasties, but that is obviously why they're there.

Erm...

I'm going to plump for no particular reason for Habsburg.

-OK, and obviously cause major offence if it's wrong.

-Absolutely.

It's right, though! Got it.

Nice work.

Judith, back to you. What was the name of the Rhodesian

Prime Minister who declared independence from Britain in 1965?

That was Ian Smith.

Ian Smith, you're right.

Over to you, Mark. Which king issued an edict

expelling all Jews from England?

Right.

I, er... I don't know, but I am from York

and we did burn the Jews in York

and that was around the 1100s or 1200s.

So I think this is early.

Er, and I'm going to say Edward I.

I love your guesswork.

You're just spot on again with it.

Edward I is right.

Judith, your question. You get this wrong, you have been soundly beaten.

In Ancient Rome, Lares and Penates were groups of what?

I think they were the household gods.

-Is that your answer?

-Yep.

You're right. Three points each.

Good, strong round on history.

So we go to sudden death and just to make it that bit harder, it's not multiple choice.

Mark, your first question.

David Rizzio, who was brutally murdered in 1566 on the orders

of Lord Darnley was the secretary of which historical figure?

So 1566 is Elizabeth I, I believe.

I would say it's a Spanish connection. Philip II of Spain.

No.

You just went astray there.

It was Mary, Queen of Scots.

Judith, you get this right, you get the round.

In 1664, which Dutch colonial governor was forced to hand

the east coast colony of New Netherland to the British?

Is it... Ah?

Peter Stuyvesant.

Well done, Judith, you got the right answer. Peter Stuyvesant it is.

Brilliant play by our millionaire. Mark was beaten by our Egghead,

so you can't join your team in the final round. It's going to be lonely for the last remaining player.

He's going to be kept company with his copious knowledge.

Please come back, both of you, and rejoin your teammates.

This is what we've played towards, it's time for our final round - General Knowledge.

I'm afraid though, those of you who lost your head-to-heads

won't be allowed to take part in this round.

Serious attrition on this side.

Tom, Jay, Ross and Mark from the Trite Young Things,

that means you must now leave the studio.

Dan, you're playing to win your team £19,000.

Daphne, Chris, Barry, Judith and Kevin, you're playing for something

that money can't buy, the Eggheads' reputation.

As usual, I will ask each team three questions in turn.

This time the questions are all general knowledge and you are allowed to confer.

So, Dan, the question is, is your one brain better than the Eggheads' five?

-Do you want to go first or second?

-I'll go first, I think.

Your first question. Sweet Child O' Mine was the title

of a UK hit single for which band in 1988?

A friend of mine who runs a...what he calls, a power ballads night,

which, effectively, is one of the cheesiest things on in London ever,

would kill me if I got this wrong.

The answer is Guns 'n' Roses.

Guns 'n' Roses is right.

Bon Jovi could have been confusing there, but you were on it.

OK, first point to you. Well done.

Which former Chancellor of the Exchequer, Eggheads, published

a diet book after losing five stone?

-Nigel Lawson.

-Nigel Lawson.

Yeah, it was Nigel Lawson, Jeremy.

-Nigel Lawson is quite right. The father of?

-Nigella.

And?

-And Dominic.

-Dominic. That's right.

Famous family.

Your second question, Dan. The British actor Timothy West

married which actress in 1963?

Probably should know this one, given what I do. Unfortunately, I don't.

Erm, Timothy West, Patricia Routledge.

They're all reasonable guesses, unfortunately.

Erm...

I think as a guess, and it is a real shot in the dark, erm...

I keep changing my mind internally. That's not helping.

-Erm...

-You don't have anyone to talk to either, which doesn't help.

-No, exactly.

-Talk to yourself.

-No back-up. Yeah.

Erm, I'm going to guess Prunella Scales.

-I'm really glad you did. You got it right.

-Thank you.

They're really glad as well. Do you know her most famous part?

-Sybil Fawlty, yeah.

-OK, Eggheads, your question.

Which Premiership football team does Prince William support?

-I think it's Aston Villa.

-It is Aston Villa.

-Aston Villa.

-Bizarrely, it's Aston Villa.

It is. I never knew that. Why? Do you know?

-I think he just liked the colours or something.

-Liked the colours!

You'd be amused by that.

So it's two points each.

This is where it gets sweaty.

Dan, in 2002, a blue plaque was

placed at Mornington Crescent Tube station to honour which entertainer?

Again, a stab in the dark, backed up by less than I would like.

Erm, I'm going to say Peter Ustinov.

-It was actually Willie Rushton.

-Ah, I thought... Yeah.

I don't know why it was Willie Rushton. Did he have a connection?

-Was he making jokes about it?

-Mornington Crescent, the game.

-Obscure panel game on I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue.

-Yes.

-That he pioneered?

-Yeah.

No, he was always on once a week on I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue

and he died and he was very much missed.

But they played this ridiculous game called Mornington Crescent.

Dan, it's not over.

If they get this wrong,

then we go to sudden death.

If you get it right, Eggheads,

you are victorious again and the competitors lose the money.

Giles Darby, David Bermingham and Gary Mulgrew, whose extradition

to America to face trial over their role in the Enron scandal sparked

a row in the UK over US powers,

are collectively known by what name?

-Natwest Three.

-Yeah, they're the Natwest Three.

And you are all certain about that?

-Yes.

-Having worked for Natwest, yes.

Unforgettable case.

Eggheads, you're right and congratulations, you've won.

It's tough doing it on your own, Dan.

Especially when you get subjects you should know stuff about

because you're in the entertainment business. Awful!

Yeah, but then they're so wide. Don't worry about that.

Anyway, well done. Great to see the team coming in.

Commiserations, challengers.

The Eggheads have done what comes naturally to them. Their winning streak continues.

It means you won't be going home with the £19,000.

So that money rolls over to the next show and will become 20,000.

Eggheads, congratulations. Who's going to beat you?

Join us next time to see if the new challengers

have the brains to defeat the Eggheads. 20,000 says they don't.

Till then, goodbye.