Episode 9 Great TV Mistakes

Hello, I'm Robert Webb.

Welcome to Great TV Mistakes.

Now, I know what you're saying - "But people in telly don't make mistakes.

"They're all perfect, like you, Rob."

Not true. Everyone makes mistakes.

You just called me Rob, for instance.

And no-one but no-one calls me Rob unless I give them permission. Understand?!

Don't worry. People in telly are just like you.

They mess up. A crew member appears in the back of shot, a prop changes colour,

someone commissions another series of My Family.

Mistakes get made, and that's where we come in.

We find these embarrassing errors and make a show out of them.

Some people might call that schadenfreude. I just call it funny.

Enjoy.

I'm sorry, the party got a little out of hand.

People your age, they have finished college...

Oh, the poor little rich girls of The OC.

Here's Hayley, tidying up after another crazy party.

Well, I say tidying up, but what Amanda Rugetti is actually doing

is picking up tiny pieces of invisible rubbish.

Look, she's dropping little bits of air into that bin bag.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what you call method acting...

if your method is piss-poor.

You know, this scene was filmed eight years ago

but unsurprisingly, she only finished tidying the room last Thursday.

To Albert Square and that live anniversary episode.

And Stace and Bradley are talkin' abaht 'fings with Max and Scott when Scott forgets his lines.

You held the fact from the pl... Look, it's a motive, you've held it against the public...

-Look, we all have...

-Well, I'll explain that.

Oh, dear, no retakes here.

This is live.

Oh, he's gone again. Oh, tricky business this live telly.

Bless him. I'd leave it, Scott, it ain't worth it!

Received and acknowledged, sir. Picard out.

Jean Luc Picard, ever the stern- faced model of professionalism.

Except when he goes through the turbo lift doors and has a quick girn. You missed it, didn't you?

Don't worry, here it is again.

He just boldly girned where no man has girned before.

-More odd goings on in Buffy.

-The werewolf!

A werewolf has gone AWOL and they need to find him/it quickly.

But Giles isn't wearing his glasses.

Oh, he is. Problem solved.

Problem unsolved! And solved again.

I think we're sorted. That werewolf is history. My mistake! The glasses are.

Kate must have a tiny vagina.

Here we are in that city where there's all that sex.

And the girls are in the khazi doing lady things.

Sometimes you just know.

With the right match, its fate.

Sarah Jessica Parker's sorting her hair out.

She's tying it out in a scrunchie, but that's SJP hair, so it'll need special restraints.

So she straps it down twice with the same scrunchie.

But spin on, cos it was all worth it.

Now she looks lovely

and not at all like a Yorkshire terrier with a Croydon facelift. Super.

Oh, look, it's only 10. How nice.

-There's no coffee.

-The Gilmore Girls, and Lorelai is chatting to

Luke as he tries to fix a toaster by shoving a screwdriver into it.

In a minute, he's going to try and fix the waste disposal

by sticking his winkie into it.

See how he goes to get coffee, leaving the screwdriver in the hole,

and when he returns, screwdriver gone.

Oh, there it is by the side of the toaster.

Right, where's that waste disposal?

-Anyway, I just wanted to say how wonderful...

-Back to Friends, and a special guest appearance

by Susan Sarandon, the thinking person's MILF, playing a hard drinking, chain smoking actress.

Ever the pro, Susan manages to cram both into this scene.

Chain smoker.

Hard drinker.

Chain smoker.

I hope my fingers are that nimble when I'm 80.

All great telly starts with a script.

You need writers who can really write words good comma,

and make the things we actors and presenters say in their mouths have, like, pizzazz and that.

Yes, script and story are crucial.

Confused story lines and dialogue, and character errors can spoil an entire series in seconds.

That's why broadcasters spend enormous amounts of money hiring professional writers and executives

to ensure this doesn't happen and why they get so disappointed when it still does.

Take a look at this little lot.

24, and here's Jack Bauer giving his exact location to headquarters.

We're at 21408 Kipling, North Hollywood.

That's 21408 Kipling, North Hollywood. 21408. Now, spin on,

and the car is here. But spin on again, and we can see they've pulled up outside 21048.

Well, that's no good. Kiefer's at 21408.

But hang on, he is here, at 21048,

-and not...

-21408 Kipling, North Hollywood.

Where he said he was a moment ago.

Still, it's only the Secret Service in a race against time to save lives,

nothing important, like a pizza delivery.

Here's Ashes To Ashes,

the disappointing follow-up to Life On Mars.

It's July 1981.

And a shocked Keeley Hawes

has just found herself mysteriously back in the 1980s.

She's trying to find out the date from Gene Hunt's steam-driven computer.

Let's check it. 17th July 1981.

There's nothing on this hard drive but the time and date.

Spin on, and later, in her new '80s flat, we see that she's marked her arrival date as July 20th.

She's lost three days.

There are easier ways to lose three days, Keeley.

Try drinking five pints of gin.

Works for me.

Here's an IT blunder from serial-killing drama, Dexter.

As Rudy Cooper opens an e-mail from [email protected]...

..presses reply,

and suddenly he's writing back to [email protected].

Don't worry, though, thanks to the confusing power of telly,

Frozen Barbie still gets the e-mail anyway.

All's well that ends well. Except for the fact that he kills her and cuts her into tiny pieces.

Here's an early clip from Star Trek: The Next Generation

and new Number One, Will Riker, is looking for the holodeck.

The computer tells him it's...

'The next hatchway on your right.'

-You mean left, surely?

-Thank you.

-He's bluffing. Riker knows that the new Enterprise computer is an idiot.

-I do.

And goes left instead.

In the future, many things will be different, but apparently, men still don't trust directions from a woman.

Writing a long-running show like Frasier is tricky,

having to remember the characters' likes and dislikes

and relatives. They're a nightmare, even when they're not real.

Just listen to Frasier's dad Martin in series one.

I never had a brother.

Marty Crane never had a brother.

-Oh, I've got the feeling he would have liked one, though, and by series five, he did.

-There he is!

Well! This is so exciting! You two must have so much to talk about. Uncle Walt, hello!

That's either a mistake or someone needs a psychiatrist.

-Marty.

-Walt.

US drama Fringe, and this bonkers boffin has invented a camera

that can photograph a corpse

and capture the last image seen by a person before their death.

-Ready?

-I know, it's rubbish, but go with it.

Let's listen to the doc's advice.

Goggles, all of you. Do not look directly into the light.

-MIMICS:

-"Goggles, all of you. Do not look directly into the light."

Got it. Camera, dangerous. Goggles, essential.

But spin on through the rubbish, and see what happens.

They've taken them off. Oi! And you! Put them back on.

The doctor said keep the goggles on while the camera is still flashing.

Doc, tell them to... not you, as well. I give up. This programme is stupid.

Thanks to all of our contributors for being so sloppy.

It's a good job it's telly and nothing more important

like a paper round, otherwise you'd have been fired.

Bye-bye.

Subtitles by RED BEE MEDIA LTD