Episode 7 Len Goodman's Partners in Rhyme

# Poems, sonnets, limericks, verses

# Rhymes in love and rhymes in curses...

# ..let's get on with the show! #

Wa-hey-hey! Oh! Oh, I love it.

Hey, hey, hey, oh, lovely jubbly.

Hello and welcome to Partners In Rhyme.

The aim of the game is to find rhymes in all kind of places.

You could see a greyhound at a fairground,

follow that with Bradley Cooper with a pooper-scooper.

Here is all rhyme and no reason. Why don't you have a go?

Take a look at this picture and see if you can find the rhyme.

Did you get it? Yes! It's a piranha eating a banana.

-If you've got the time... AUDIENCE:

-Len's got the rhyme!

Not bad.

Tonight, two contestants will be playing the game

with the help of their very own partners in rhyme.

So, let's meet this evening's celebrity teams.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

On our first team, she's an Olympic hero, strong and bold,

but can she take home rhyming gold?

It's England hockey star, Sam Quek. Sam!

-Hi, how are you?

-Lovely.

And joining Sam, he's pumped and rarely stumped - it's Phil Tufnell!

-Lovely. Hello, buddy.

-Phil.

-How are ya? Good man.

In our second team, cooking is the game,

she's got a herb for her first name -

it's Rosemary Shrager!

With Rosemary, for charts, dance and rap, he's your go-to chap -

Rickie Haywood Williams!

My man!

Well, we've got cooking, music and sport covered here,

but will it be enough to help tonight's contestants?

Let's meet 'em!

APPLAUSE

-Hey, hey! Jozanda.

-Hello.

Hello to you. What do you do, where you come from?

-I'm an inspiring projects manager from Preston.

-Inspiring?

-Yeah.

-What's that mean?

Basically, it means I work for the university in Preston in

the student's union, and I'm in charge of volunteering projects

-for the students.

-Oh, right!

-So I provide a project, and they take part.

-Oh, lovely.

-Yeah.

That's an unusual name, Jozanda. I've never come across it before.

Have you bumped into any other Joza...? I've not, have you?

-No. My mum made it up.

-What, she just...? So...

-Yeah.

What, she just thought it?

Yeah, before I was born, she was ironing

and she came up with my name.

Nice! Yeah.

You going to be any good at rhyming and this sort? Are you competitive?

I hope so, yeah. Like, I do amateur dramatics

-and things like that so...

-Yeah.

-..I'm quite into sort of...

Yeah, projecting...

-Theatricalness, and yeah, yeah.

-Yeah.

Performing and things like that, so, yeah...

Good luck. Now, let's meet your opponent, George!

-How are ya?

-I'm absolutely brilliant, thank you.

-Yeah?

-Where do you live?

-I'm from Chipping Norton in Oxfordshire.

Is that where you hang out, and that where you work, or whatever?

No, I'm currently studying history at Anglia Ruskin University,

which is in Cambridge.

You might be too smart for this show, if I'm honest, George.

Well, I've only just finished my first year,

-so we'll have to see about that.

-Oh!

I understand you've bumped into a famous person

whilst you were swimming?

Yes, quite a long time ago at the swimming pool.

Unbeknownst to myself, I managed to splash David Cameron quite heavily.

-Really?

-Yeah.

What did he say? Anything? Did he give you a little telling off?

Well, I didn't know who he was, so I just swam over to my mum,

and she was absolutely livid.

-Well, she would be.

-Yeah.

-Well, that is a thing you can put on your CV, innit?

-Yeah.

Lovely jubbly.

Well, tonight one of you could be leaving with a holiday.

AUDIENCE WHOOPS

Good luck to you both.

Jozanda and George, everyone!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Jozanda and George are about to be paired up

with one of our celebrity rhyme teams,

but to help them choose, they need to see them in action.

I'm going to give you one rhyme each to solve.

There are no points at stake -

this is just a test to see who's the best.

Sam, take a shot. What have you got?

Right. So, we've got a wasp, a bee?

-Yeah, what is it?

-Err, a golf...golf tee.

-A bee on a tee.

-A bee on a tee!

Phil, you're used to a test, so give this your best.

-Here we go, Phil.

-OK.

A grasshopper with a wallet.

No, a ticket.

-Cricket with a ticket.

-Cricket with a ticket!

Rosemary dear, no need to wait, solve this rhyme,

here on your plate.

SHE STUTTERS

-Err, a flapjack.

-A flapjack.

Flapjack... Flapjack with a rack.

-With a pack!

-Yeah, sort of...

-Pack on a...

-A flapjack with a...?

-..pack, rack!

-With a...?

-With a back, back pack!

What rhymes with back? Flapjack?

With a rucksack.

With a rucksack - good enough!

You got there in the end.

Rickie, how sharp is your mind? What can you find?

Oh, it's Sam! Sam Quek... with her really lovely teeth,

dancing around.

Sam Quek...in a discotheque.

Sam Quek in a discotheque! Oh-ho!

Well done, well done.

Now I've put our celebrities to the test,

but now it's Jozanda and George's go.

Let's play Find The Rhyme.

This is a quickfire round.

Whoever guesses most rhymes in two minutes

gets first pick of the teams.

If you think you know, give it a go!

On your buzzers, it's Find the Rhyme.

BELL

-Britney Spears has big ears.

-Correct. Next one.

BELL

-Dog on a jog.

-A dog on a jog, correct!

Here we go.

BELL

-Car on a radar.

-A car on a radar. Moving on.

Land ahoy, chipmates!

BELL

-Chips on ships.

-Chips on ships, lovely jubbly.

Who's that? BELL

-Yeah, go on, George.

-Bear Grylls in frills?

Bear Grylls in frills!

Next one.

BELL

Pineapple...down the aisle, but that doesn't rhyme.

No, it don't quite rhyme, does it? "Pineapple down the aisle".

-George, you got it?

-No clue, sorry.

It was pineapple in a chapel.

-HISSES:

-Hi.

BELL

-Snake in a cake.

-Snake in a cake.

-BELL

-Lollipop in a bus stop.

Yeah. You are good, you're quick.

What's going down that hole?

BELL

A roll in a black hole?

A spring roll, but that's good enough. Roll in a hole!

Well done, Georgie! Here you are!

-BELL Yes?

-It's Caesar in a geyser.

Julius Caesar in a geyser! See?

Next one.

-Who's that?

-Oh...

-BELL

-Yes?

-Brian Cox in a window box.

Yeah, lovely jubbly!

INSTRUMENT PLAYS

BELL

That's a baboon playing the bassoon.

Yes, good, well done!

Didn't they do good? Well done.

So, who's choosing the best, and who's stuck with the rest?

It's time for the scores.

George, you got five. That's good, innit?

APPLAUSE

Jozanda, you got six!

-Oh.

-Oh, yeah!

Which means Jozanda can choose between you,

it's either Sam and Phil, or Rosemary and Rickie.

Who will be your partners in rhyme tonight?

OK. Well, I know that I'm really rubbish at football and sport.

Therefore, I'm going to take Sam and Phil.

OK.

Which means, George, you're with Rosemary and Rickie.

So it's team-up time with your partners in rhyme!

APPLAUSE

-Jozanda, are you happy with your team?

-Definitely, yeah.

-Yeah.

These guys were really good in the first round.

I think you're looking good, honestly.

Sports people are always very competitive,

-so they're going to really be going for it.

-That's what I thought.

But George, you see, OK, they got all that sporty stuff,

but you've got class on your side, right?

Right, you've got Rickie - young, modern and with it.

You've got Rosemary, who knows lots of things about cooking

and...older people's things...

-Oh, thanks.

-Whatever...

-Join the clan, join the clan.

No, I'm in that clan! Don't worry. That's why I can say it.

George, I bet if you could've had a choice,

-you'd have picked these two anyway.

-I certainly would have, yeah.

-Hey, good man, good man.

-Oh, good boy. Absolutely. Good boy.

OK, now we've got our teams, we'll reset the scores to zero

as we play Mime The Rhyme.

In this round, we are going to give you some clues about famous people

doing something that rhymes with their name.

Jozanda won last round, so plays first.

In this round, Sam must describe the celebrity,

while Phil must mime the action.

Each team will be given five clues,

and you've got 30 seconds to mime and describe each one.

Let's play Mime The Rhyme!

Right, OK, he is a comedian, actor, presents QI...

Stephen Fry.

Yeah, what...what's he doing?

Stephen Fry, is... trying to dive.

-He's...

-No, give over - it's rugby.

Oh, he's...he's in a try, he's scoring a try!

Scoring a try!

Yes, yes...

-Good movement. I...

-I've done my knee in there.

Oh, you were good, straight in there, Phil.

-I've got carpet burn.

-You calm down. Carpet burn! Bless his heart.

OK. Next one. Well done.

OK, he was the voice of Shrek. He also did Wayne's World,

He was Wayne in Wayne's World.

Oh, yeah. Um, is it...Michael Myers?

Yes, yes, it's... Yes, yes.

Michael Myers. Yeah, Mike Myers,

Mike Myers is fire... is putting out fires!

-Yeah!

-Oh! I've got to say...

-Jozanda, you're on a roll here. Come on.

-All right.

Number three, here we go.

OK, he's really short, he's blue, he wears a white funny hat.

Smurf.

-But he's the older guy, the oldest...

-Papa Smurf!

-Yes!

-Papa Smurf...

-Surfing! He's, he's...

-Doing?

He's trying to surf, he's on a surfboard.

Oh, no, right, that's it's. Yeah.

Yeah, Papa Smurf's having a surf, yes.

-Sam, lovely description.

-Yeah.

And Phil, in there like swimwear, straight on, no larking about.

Show us that action again, Phil.

WHOOPING

Look at him surfing.

Learnt that on Strictly, didn't you, Phil?

-Yeah.

-Next one.

OK, he's a singer, likes to dance on the ceiling.

# Hello... #

Oh! Err, oh! Um...

-Lionel Richie!

-Yes!

-Lionel Richie...?

-..feeling itchy.

-Yeah! Oh!

Well done.

Yeah, Phil, oh, you got ants in your pants...

I told you I was good at Strictly. Look, you missed all of that.

Yes, look at you going at it, look.

Well done.

OK... Uh, oh...

-..next one.

-OK.

OK, he was 1,500-metre runner back in the eighties, won two golds.

He's a lord, he...was...

He's part of the British Olympic Association, helped organise...

Does this help? What's he doing?

-He's doing archery.

-Yes, what's he actually doing here?

He's... He is...

What's that, goes round his neck?

What do you wear when you're posh and you're going to dinner?

-What do you wear?

-Oh, a ruff?

-Oh, shut up!

-We're not in the bloody 17th century!

-I dunno!

-A bow tie!

-A bow.

OUT-OF-TIME BUZZER Oh, no, out of time.

Sebastian Coe firing a bow.

-Oh.

-Oh, well.

-Unlucky.

-Would you have got that?

-Possibly. We can't tell.

I still don't know who it was.

I'm so glad you're so full of confidence.

Who wears a ruff?!

-Wearing a ruff?

-..William Shakespeare?!

-Where did that come out of?

-I was thinking olden days, archery.

-Now, you said you weren't very good at sport and...

-I'm rubbish!

..you've absolutely proved that right now.

-Your time's up, but I tell you what, didn't you do good?

-Oh, thank you.

You did, you were on a terrific roll.

-Well done. Please join your team.

-Thank you very much.

APPLAUSE

George, your turn now.

Both you and Rosemary, please come down and join me.

APPLAUSE

-Rickie...

-Yeah?

-..you will be doing the describing of the person.

-Yeah.

And Rosemary, you'll be doing the actions of what they're doing.

Well, I'll do my best!

-That's all... You can only do that.

-Watch.

Remember, you have five clues, and 30 seconds for each one.

Teamwork makes dreams work.

Let's play...Mime The Rhyme, here we go.

OK...

She used to be a supermodel, she was married to Mick Jagger.

Long blonde hair.

Um... Err... She, err...

-Err...

-She was married to Mick Jagger.

-Married to Mick Jagger? Um...

-Yeah.

-Yeah, long blonde hair...

-Long, tall.

-..a huge model back in the '70s.

-Kate Moss?

-What's Rosemary doing?

-Older than Kate Moss.

-She's...

-Paint...

-Planting...?

-No, she's not planting.

She's painting...painting walls?

-Painting a wall!

-Painting a wall.

Now... Who could it be?

OUT-OF-TIME BUZZER

-Oh!

-Oh. Yeah...

Let's have a look. Jerry Hall painting a wall.

-Who let you down, was it Rickie? The description?

-No...

Rosemary's bizarre movements?

What was it?

Or you didn't know Jerry Hall?

I didn't know Jerry Hall - that was the problem.

-Well, that don't help, does it, if you don't know.

-Oh!

-Shall we move on?

-OK.

-OK, here we go, number two.

OK, he's a presenter, wears glasses, got a bald head,

-normally wears big collars...

-Harry Hill.

LAUGHTER

-Harry Hill using a drill.

-Yes! There we are.

Yeah! Harry Hill using a pneumatic drill.

Well done, George.

Show us that action again.

-What, you mean this, going...?

-Yeah.

Look at that.

We're on a roll now, we're getting this. Here's the next one.

Singer, American, sings All I Want For Christmas.

Oh, um...

-# All I Want For Christmas... #

-Yeah...

Don't worry about that!

# All I Want For Christmas... #

-Um, gosh...

-Yeah.

What do you buy when you go into a place,

-you go in the cash and...? Cash and...?

-And pin?

Cash and... When you're buying food, you go in the cash and...?

-Aisle?

-No! You go in the cash and...?

OUT-OF-TIME BUZZER

I don't know.

Mariah Carey...

being scary.

Oh, Mariah... Yeah, oh...

I wasn't scary!

I'll tell you what, when you came up behind me, Rosemary,

I'll tell you what, you were truly scary. Oh!

OK, George, it don't matter, we're going on.

-Next one. Ready, Rickie?

-Yeah, ready.

-Here you are.

OK, she's probably the most famous blonde woman of all time...

Marilyn Monroe.

Marilyn Monroe! And now, what's she done?

Oh, don't, you'll never get up.

-Err...

-Now, what one...?

-Oh, she's stubbed her toe.

Stubbed her toe! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Gordon... My...

Here you are, Marilyn Monroe stubs her toe.

Cor, you ain't half earning your money today, Rosemary.

-Ain't ya, hey?

-No, you're not kidding.

LEN CHUCKLES

Let's press on. Here we go, George.

Right, he's from a TV show called The Office,

famous for doing that silly dance...

-Oh, David Brent.

-David Brent.

Now, what's he doing?

What rhymes with Brent? What rhymes with Brent?

-Bent?

-No he's not bent, no, no.

Erecting a tent?

Yeah!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Georgie boy, look, I'm doing the high-five modern stuff here.

Well done. Did that help you with the mime?

-Did that help you at all?

-It did to an extent, yeah.

-LAUGHTER

-Thanks, George.

I thought the mime was great.

Obviously, Rickie, you got the name straight out.

Well done, George. Lovely. Please rejoin your teams.

APPLAUSE

-Well, that went pretty well.

-Well done.

So, after that mime time, let's have a look at the scores.

George, you've got three.

Jozanda, you've got...four.

Whoa!

It's all still to play for as we go into round three,

Rhyme Watch.

I'm about to show you a short film starring a celebrity.

Hidden in the film are six pairs of rhymes to find.

If you spot the rhymes, please write them down.

There's a point for each correct pair.

Now, this is not easy, so when you play along at home,

take a look at the batch and find the match.

Today, me old friend Russell Grant is going camping -

and not for the first time. Here we go.

THE ARCHERS THEME PLAYS

Ah...

Mm! This is the life.

Time to see the sights.

# If you go down in the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise

# If you go down in the woods today... #

This is so gorgeous.

FLIES BUZZ

# Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic. #

Ugh!

Oh. I've had enough of this.

Oh!

Oo, time for bed.

DRAMATIC MUSIC

Goodnight, Whelan.

BEAR GROWLS

Oh...

-HE WHIMPERS

-Mummy!

Oh! Well, thank my lucky stars.

How many did you get at home?

Let's see if you were right.

Number one...

-Did you get it?

-Yeah.

They both got it. Come on, next one.

Number two...

No-one got that.

Jozanda, you wrote down map, hat and radio.

We wrote technical, map, hat and radio

Yeah, not quite a rhyme, was it? But it was a good effort.

No, we were kind of writing what we saw.

Yeah, well that, that's the way to go, and hopefully it'll rhyme up.

Let's move on.

Ice cream, stream.

-You got it, Jozanda?

-Yeah.

-George, no?

-No.

Did you get it at home?

Yeah, there you are.

Next one.

-BOTH:

-Yeah.

Both of you! Fly in the eye.

Yeah, lovely. Let's move on.

-Fruit in the boot. BOTH:

-Yeah.

Both got that, well done.

Next one, bear and scare, lovely jubbly.

Let's have a look at the scores.

George, you got four right, well done.

APPLAUSE

Jozanda, you got five, wow!

APPLAUSE

Nice!

Now, but how does that leave the teams overall?

George, you've got my favourite number,

seven!

LAUGHTER

Jozanda, you've got nine!

APPLAUSE

But there are more points to be won before the next round is done.

Whoever is in the lead after this

will go on to tackle our endgame, to play for the holiday.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# Hooray, hooray

# It's a holi-holiday

# What a world of fun for everyone

# Holi-holiday. #

-ALL:

-Woo!

It's time for News At Len!

CLOCK CHIMES

Good evening. I'm Len Goodman, and this is the News At Len.

CLOCK CHIMES

Tonight, I have four news stories

and you must work out the rhyming headlines that go with them.

Listen carefully, and don't buzz in until I ask for the headline.

There are two points for each correct answer.

It's time for tonight's news.

First up...

CLOCK CHIMES

..sports news. A former ice skating duo, best known

for their Bolero routine, have started a new catering business

serving food on-site to office workers.

"It's nice to have job security," they said,

"we've been on thin ice for a long time."

What's the headline?

BUZZER GOES

Torvill and Dean doing cuisine?

-It's a rhyme, but it's not mine.

-OK.

Have we got any clue?

Torvill and Dean...

Torvill and Dean set up a catering team?

Ours is better.

-It's a rhyme but it's not mine.

-Ours is much better.

Torvill and Dean

have opened a canteen.

-ALL:

-Oh!

Unlucky. Let's take a look.

Next up...

CLOCK CHIMES

..politics. A former tennis champion

is soon to become head of Britain's economy.

The German sports star, who's won Wimbledon three times

in the '80s, is about to move into number 11 Downing Street.

He's surprised, he said -

"Pat Cash would've been more appropriate."

What's the headline? BUZZER GOES

Boris Becker is Chancellor of the Exchequer?

Love it!

CHEERING

Woohoo!

Let's have a look.

# Money, money, money. #

There you go, Boris Becker, Chancellor of the Exchequer.

Well done.

You know, tennis players make great politicians

because they know how to spin.

LAUGHTER, GROANS

Next up...

CLOCK CHIMES

..food news! A former presenter of The Great British Bake Off

has revealed she never eats cake.

The bespectacled star says she only consumes

jars of tiny cucumbers in vinegar.

"It's not healthy," she said.

"I've got myself in a right pickle."

What's the headline? BUZZER GOES

-George?

-Sue Perkins only eats gherkins?

Let's have a butcher's...

# Food, glorious food. #

There you go.

Sue Perkins eats gherkins.

Yeah, Rosemary, I wasn't surprised you were so quick,

cos of the food element of that.

Yeah, but actually I didn't...

I didn't realise she actually didn't eat cakes, and...

It's not true. LAUGHTER

It's just a lie.

You know, yeah, honestly...

It's all right, Rosemary. It's fine, it's fine.

-I know it's News At Len...

-It's fine, Rosemary, it's fine.

..but it's not actually totally true.

-No.

-Do you know...?

-BREAKS OFF, LAUGHING

-No, it's just a game, Rosemary.

-Sorry!

-And Boris Becker...

-I thought it was...

-..in case you get worried...

-Hang on a moment!

Boris Becker is not going to be Chancellor of the Exchequer, either.

Well, I don't know, in my mind, I thought,

I just thought it was something I didn't know.

Oh, right. Well, Torvill and Dean

will be round in a minute with their canteen,

you can get something to eat. LAUGHTER

Sue Perkins only eats gherkins, so she's got to chill on the dill.

Hey, hey! And finally....

CLOCK CHIMES City news.

The people of London today discovered the river that

runs through it has been clogged with precious stones.

Rubies, sapphires, opals and more have filled the water.

"Free rocks for everyone in the river," said a passing cockney.

"I'm a diamond geezer."

What's the rhyme? BUZZER GOES

The River Thames is full of gems?

Let's have a look.

Yeah!

Well done!

The Thames is full of gems.

Woohoo!

Well done.

That's all for News At Len.

CLOCK CHIMES

APPLAUSE

Jozanda, you have nine points.

George...

..13.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Which means, through to play for the holiday, it's George!

Well, Jozanda, it wasn't to be,

but I've got a little gift for you as a consolation prize,

which I think you're going to love.

It's a pen from Len.

Oh!

SHE LAUGHS

APPLAUSE

Aw!

Thank you.

Look at that.

I love it.

-Thank you.

-Thank you, Jozanda.

-Oh, thank you for having me.

-And thank you to your fabulous team.

-They were very good, they were very good.

-Well done.

George, congratulations on making it through to the final round.

Come and join me in the middle for the final riddle.

It's Rhyme Against Time.

Well, George, your partners have taken you this far,

but here's where you have to go it alone.

If you can Rhyme Against Time,

you'll be jetting off for a tan in Cannes.

# Je t'aime. #

-On the screen, you'll see a clock split into six segments.

-OK.

Each segment contains a three-part rhyme,

like Michael Caine is stuck in a drain in Spain.

You must solve all six segments to win.

If you get stuck, you can move on,

but you must complete all six in the time.

Six on the board and you're going abroad. Are you ready?

Certainly.

OK, let's play Rhyme Against Time!

APPLAUSE

OK, George, here we go...

OK, that's Richard Gere

and Shakespeare on a chandelier.

Correct, move on.

That's a spanner...

Yeah.

What's another word for spanner?

Um, a wrench. Judi Dench holding a wrench,

-working at a bench?

-Yep, lovely!

Next one.

-That's Andy Murray?

-Yeah.

Eating a curry...

WATCH BEEPS

..and he's in a hurry.

Yeah, hey, hey! On we go!

CEILIDH MUSIC PLAYS

Er, Sandi Toksvig and the Stig,

-doing a jig.

-Yeah, hey, hey!

Cara Delevingne...

-..going green...

-Yeah.

-..on a trampoline.

-Oh, hey, hey!

-That's a camel...

-Yeah.

Doing a jump on a hump,

-Donald Trump.

-Ah! You did it!

Hey, hey!

You're off for a tan in Cannes!

Yeah, you won the holiday!

# Hooray, hooray

# It's a holi-holiday... #

Come on, get it going. Hey, hey, hey.

# What a world of fun for everyone

# Holi-holiday. #

Well, that's it for Partners In Rhyme for today.

A big thank you to Sam, to Phil, to Rosemary, to Rickie!

We'll see you soon, and remember, if you've got the time...

-ALL:

-Len's got the rhyme!

Way-hey, goodnight!

Give 'em a wave.

# There's been rhymes from the start of time

# Get a word or a name one that sounds the same

# Poems, sonnets, limericks, verses

# Rhymes in love and rhymes in curses

# I've been rhyming since a very young man

# But that was Cockney rhyming slang

# This is the end

# We're all out of time

# You've had a good game

# You've had a good rhyme

# Join us again for more larks and mishaps

# That's the end for tonight

# And that's a wrap. #