Episode 9 Len Goodman's Partners in Rhyme

# Poems, sonnets, limericks, verses

# Rhymes in love and rhymes in curses...

# ..Let's get on with the show! #

Hey, hey!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hey! Oh, come on.

Hello, and welcome to Partners In Rhyme,

the game that's all about finding all kinds of rhymes

in all kinds of ways.

Now, if you're watching at home,

don't just sit back, give it a crack.

For example, what's this rhyme?

-ALL:

-Fruit in a suit!

Fruit in a suit!

More stylish than pears in flares.

Yeah, here, if you've got the time...

-ALL:

-Len's got the rhyme!

You're good, you lot, I must say.

Tonight, two contestants will be playing the game

with the help of their own partners in rhyme.

Here they are, four of the best putting rhymes to the test.

Our first team is the dancing, presenting, singing set.

They're what I call a triple threat,

singers Jaymi Hensley and Cheryl Baker!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And with gags and punning and bags of running,

welcome comedian Tash Demetriou and Kriss Akabusi!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you!

Welcome to the show.

Now, let's meet contestants Sara and Ed.

Oh, yeah! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Hello.

-Hello, Sara.

Oh, where you from?

I'm from London.

Oh, London! Oh, really? What do you do?

I just graduated from university

and I'm applying for Masters courses now.

Is it an -ology that you're doing?

Cos I'm always impressed if it's anything that ends in -ology.

-Is it an -ology?

-Unfortunately not, no.

Oh, OK, well we won't talk about it, then.

You do a bit of DJing?

Yeah. I present at the university radio station, a music show.

Have you got a favourite that you like to put on?

Um, I mean, generally... I like a bit of, like, I dunno,

Kodaline, Imagine Dragons. I love a bit of McFly.

-Oh, McFly.

-Yeah. I'm sure you're their number-one fan.

Yeah, I am, of course, yeah, lovely, lovely.

Do you like Union J?

-Great band. I'm...

-SHE LAUGHS

-Of course, I'm their number-one fan!

-LAUGHTER

We'll leave it there. It's good, we'll stay there.

Who doesn't love Union J? Of course.

CHEERING

-Well, good luck, Sara.

-Thank you.

-Ed.

-Nice to see you, Len.

-How are you, Ed?

-Yes.

-Where are you from?

-From Ipswich.

-What do you do?

-Well, I run a charity radio station

and we try to get young people into broadcasting

and help kids with additional needs get a voice in the community.

APPLAUSE

OK. I can't believe this is true, but I'm going to ask you.

You had a near-death experience.

I am one of the few people on the planet

to survive a bungee jump that went wrong.

ALL GASP

What happened?

Well, they took me up in the crane and they've got three cords

that tie around you, all, you know, for safety,

and then, when I jumped out,

I bounced once, I bounced twice, and after the second bounce,

one of the cords got wrapped round the arm of the crane.

So, you're dangling?

I was dangling off the arm and I looked down

-and all I could see was concrete.

-No!

So, the big inflatable thing was over there and I was...

-Yeah.

-No, don't.

You're just a thrill-seeker, are you?

Well, at the time, it seemed like a really good idea!

Yeah, it's like a lot of the celebrities that go on Strictly,

it seems like a good idea, till you get on it!

Tonight, one of you could be walking away with a holiday,

so very best of luck.

Sara and Ed, everyone!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Sara and Ed are each about to be paired up

with one of our celebrity rhyming teams, but to help them choose,

they need to see the celebrities in action.

I'm going to give you four rhymes to solve.

Buzz in when you know the answer.

There are no points at stake,

it's just a chance to show

who's nailing it and who's failing it. Here we go.

BOING! Jaymi and Cheryl?

Frankie Dettori telling a story.

Well done, yes.

OK, number two.

-BELL

-Haven't got a clue.

Tea on a tree. Trees having tea.

Correct!

-SHOUTING:

-Oh, Natasha!

Well done.

I buzz it, you play it!

A tree having... So, what, you've got a system going, have you?

You buzz, say, "I don't know it," and then say, "Tash, what is it?"

-I explain it, she says it.

-No, that's a good system.

Teamwork, baby, teamwork!

OK, number three, here we go.

Oh, God! Oh, God!

-BOING!

-What are they called?

Oh, er... Oh, come on.

-Bull...

-No, I've gotta pass over.

-I've got it, I've got it!

Forget them!

-Matador in a corridor.

-Corridor, yes.

-YELLING:

-Yes!

Last one, here we go.

-BELL, BOING!

-It's me!

-Cheryl Baker, record breaker!

-It was me!

Cheryl Baker, record breaker.

-Well done.

-We were robbed. We were robbed.

It was... Cheryl, you were stumbling on your own surname.

You were like, "Cheryl...?"

You and Kriss, you used to present Record Breakers, right?

-Exactly.

-Yeah.

-Yeah, you, sort of...

It's a reunion!

I think you're breaking the record

for loudest ever contestant on the show.

Well, no, let me tell you, Kriss, and I love your enthusiasm.

Get in! East End boy, East End boy, Len.

LEN LAUGHS

OK, well, we've put our celebrities to the test,

but now, it's Sara and Ed's turn.

It's time for...

This is a quickfire round, there's a point for each correct answer,

and whoever guesses most rhymes in the time

gets first pick at the team.

If you think you know, give it a go.

On your buzzers. Let's play Find The Rhyme.

BELL It's you, Sara.

A snake eating a cake.

A snake eating a cake is correct.

Here we go.

BOING! Yes, Ed?

Is that Adele casting a spell?

Yes, it is. Well done.

Moving on.

A type of animal, what animal is it?

BOING! Go on, Ed.

Is that a funky monkey?

-Yes, it is!

-What?

-I thought it was a horse!

-Here we go, next one.

BOING! Yes, Ed?

Is that Ryan Giggs feeding pigs?

Yes, thank you.

Come on! Come on, Sara.

BELL Yes, Sara?

Crocodile, a big smile?

With a smile, yes.

Well done.

Here we go.

BURBLING

Who's that?

BOING! Yes, Ed?

Is that Richard Gere being an auctioneer?

Yes, it is indeed.

Whoa, good one!

It's a group, it's a band, pop band.

-BELL

-U2...washing with...

their hair with shampoo.

Yeah, U2 having a shampoo.

-Having a shampoo.

-There we go.

BLEATING

BOING! Yes, Ed?

That's a goat on a boat.

It is indeed a goat on a boat. Well done.

Here we go.

BELL Yes, Sara?

Opposable thumbs playing drums?

Correct, well done. Yeah.

Oh, check you out!

Here we go, next one.

BOING! Yes, Ed?

Is that Mel and Sue visiting the zoo?

It is indeed!

KLAXON Out of time.

So, who's choosing the tops and who's left with the flops?

It's time for the scores.

Sara, you have four correct answers, well done.

CHEERING

Ed, six!

-Whoa!

-Oh, well done.

Which means, Ed, you can choose your partners in rhyme.

Will it be Jaymi and Cheryl or Tash and Kriss?

I'm going to go for... You know what, the '80s kid inside me

-is saying, "Let's go with Cheryl and Jaymi."

-OK!

CHEERING

Which means, Sara, you've got Tash and Kriss, lovely jubbly.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So, it's team-up time with your partners in rhyme.

OK, Ed, what made you pick Jaymi and Cheryl?

Something about the way they answered the questions

or was it you're frightened to have Kriss shouting in your ear?

Well, there was a little bit of that, but, to be honest,

I like the idea of being surrounded by brilliant musicians,

and it makes me feel at home with the whole radio thing.

APPLAUSE Right, good answer, well done.

Now, Cheryl, in this game, you must make your mind up.

LAUGHTER

Good luck, Ed. Good luck, Jaymi. Good luck, Cheryl, good luck.

-Thank you.

-Thank you. Thank you.

APPLAUSE

-Now, Tash...

-Hello, Len.

I was told, when you do your stand up, you get nervous.

Yes, very nervous.

-Are you nervous tonight?

-I'm especially nervous tonight,

because you took the only joke I had, which was when Cheryl

can't make a decision, I was going to sing Make Your Mind Up.

-LAUGHTER

-Yeah, so I've got nothing now.

And I'm a bit scared that I'm going to be partially deaf

-at the end of it.

-No, you won't! KRISS LAUGHS

Kriss, all sportsmen are competitive by nature,

-and I can tell, you are competitive.

-100%.

You know what, if you're not good, pick the right team,

and this is the right team, ladies and gentlemen!

-YELLING:

-I've got champions on my side!

That's what we need.

KRISS LAUGHS

Sara, how do you feel about your team? Are you quite happy?

-Yes, definitely.

-You'd have probably picked them anyway.

Of course. Yeah, I've got the loudest and the funniest,

so what more could you want?

-Oh, my God, you're my best friend!

-Aw!

-Yeah, lovely.

OK, now we've got our teams,

we'll reset the scores to zero as we play...

In this round, the clues are all about famous people

doing something that rhymes with their name.

Ed won the last round, so he plays first.

Jaymi must describe the celebrity,

and, Cheryl, you must mime the action that they are doing.

You've got five clues, you've got 30 seconds for each clue.

-OK.

-OK, Ed? Now, if you don't guess it in 30 seconds,

-we'll move on to the next one, OK? All clear?

-Yeah.

All good? Here we go. Let's play Mime The Rhyme.

APPLAUSE

So, he's an American magician,

he was in a glass box above the Thames.

-David Blaine.

-That's it.

-David Blaine. What's he doing?

-Flying a plane.

-Yeah!

Oh, well done.

David Blaine flying a plane.

-APPLAUSE

-Great stuff.

OK, number two.

OK, so, he is a Liverpool comedian,

used to present Blankety Blank dressed as a female drag queen.

-Oh, Paul O'Grady!

-That's it.

-Paul O'Grady...

-Where is he?

-Being a lollipop lady.

Yeah! APPLAUSE

-Let's have a look.

-The licking did it.

-Good licking.

-Let's have a look.

Paul O'Grady as a lollipop lady.

Oh, hello. LAUGHTER

OK, here we go, moving on.

Original presenter of Big Brother, presents Long Lost Family,

female, dark hair, does the...

-Claudia Winkleman?

-No, no...

-Emma Willis?

-Her surname sounds like a type of parrot?

-Er, a macaw?

-What's her first name?

-Female version of David.

The miming might help.

The front crawl.

-The crawl. Now, crawl.

-Crawl.

-What rhymes with crawl?

-Crawl.

-Her first name rhymes with "Marina."

BELL RINGS Ah.

ALL GROAN

Davina.

Out of time. Let's have a look.

You were there, but not...

You were just a... Look at that, going along.

OK, here we go, next one.

Scottish singer. # We-e-e-ell! #

-Lulu.

-That's it!

-Lulu.

What's she doing?

Lulu, cooking. No.

-Yeah, what's she cooking?

-Cooking a...

-She's doing a bit of cooking, but what sort of cooking?

-Burger.

-She's outdoors.

-Lulu doing a barbecue!

-Yeah!

-Woo!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Let's have a look.

Lulu doing a barbecue. Well done.

Next one, here we go.

He's an American actor, comedian,

he was in School Of Rock, very funny man.

-Er, Jack Black.

-Yeah.

-Jack Black.

Jack Black doing jumping jacks!

Yeah! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hey, hey, have a look here.

Jack Black doing jumping jacks.

Great jumping jacks.

KLAXON

That's time up, well done. Please rejoin your team.

APPLAUSE

-Well done, thank you. Well done.

-Well done.

-OK, Sara, your turn.

Can you and Kriss both come down and join me, please?

Tash, you will be describing the famous person,

and, Kriss, you are miming the action.

-Sara, you have five clues and 30 seconds on each one.

-OK.

Remember, working as one really gets the job done. Let's...

GROANING

No stopping me. Let's play Mime The Rhyme.

Here we go.

OK, so, um, Pineapple Dance Studios,

he was, like, the main dancer, moves like a cat.

Um, bald head, went on Harry Hill.

I know exactly who it is, but I can't remember his name.

-"Oh, darling, hello!"

-Yeah.

-What's the rhyme? Look.

OK, so, what's the first name of the Irish...

Um, he reminds me of a young Cheryl Cole.

Louis.

And then sounds like "dense".

-Louis Spence!

-Yes!

BELL RINGS

Oh.

I'm awful at this.

Louis Spence doing self-defence.

That's great miming.

OK, here we go.

Oh, boo.

Right, "I'm obsessed with China and building a wall."

Ginger, comb-over, ruining the world...

-Donald Trump.

-Yes.

-Donald Trump.

-Um, jump... Doing a jump. Doing...

-What sort of jump? What's he on?

-Sort our your arms, Kriss.

-Er, er, long jump. Short jump. Jump...

-No, no, no.

-It's cold.

-It's cold.

-Um, oh, a ski jump.

Ski jump! Oh!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Got it eventually.

-Let's have a look.

Donald Trump doing the ski...

Look, it's beautiful.

Moving on.

Oh, landlord of the Queen Vic, like, he's...

-Danny Dyer?

-Yeah.

-Danny Dyer, what's he doing?

HE GASPS

Throwing fire? Catching fire?

-Well, no, he's doing... What's this?

-Juggling fire?

Juggling fire!

CHEERING

Hey, hey. Have a look.

Danny Dyer is juggling fire.

There we go.

Moving on.

Um, OK, so presenter of The One Show, first name sounds like cat.

-Matt Baker?

-Yes!

What's he doing?

-HE CROWS

-Um, bird.

A swan.

-Er, chicken, a cockerel. Um...

-No, no.

-Kriss?

-Shaking a cockerel. What?

-Matt Baker, um...

-HE CROWS

Look, what am I doing? What am I doing?

Shaking. Cocktail shaking? Mixing.

-I'm not drinking.

-Shaking.

-Shaking, yeah, yeah.

-Shaking...

-He's a... He's a...

-Cockerel? Chicken?

-No, he's not...

BELL RINGS

LAUGHTER

What do you drink?

Cocktail...shaker. Yes!

KRISS ROARS

Anyway, you were out of time.

Oh, yeah, I heard that.

But we'll have a look. Matt Baker using a cocktail shaker.

-Oh, God.

-Wonderful.

-The noises were throwing me a bit.

LAUGHTER

-One more.

-OK, one more.

-One more.

OK, so the best mate of, um, Donald Trump,

trying to ruin England, old leader of UKIP.

Sounds like, um...

-His second name...

-Nigel Farage?

-Yes.

-Wahey! OK, OK...

-Nigel Farage.

-Oh, um, pulled a limb.

No, not pulled a limb!

Stretched a muscle. Nigel...Nigel Farage.

Farage?

Massage. Getting a massage.

Yeah!

CHEERING

-We got there eventually.

-Let's have a look.

Nigel Farage giving a massage.

Oh! KLAXON

Yeah, that's time up. Well done, please rejoin your team.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So, let's have a look at the scores.

-Sara, you've got three.

-Yeah.

Ed, four.

CHEERING

It's all still to play for as we go into Round Three.

Oh, yes!

I'm about to show you a short film.

Hidden in the film are five pairs of rhymes to find.

If you spot the rhymes, please write them down.

There's a point for each correct pair. Now, this is not easy.

The rhymes could be hidden any place, but watch carefully.

Little Len's on the case.

If you're like me and you have one or two wrinkles,

One Show reporter Alex Riley might have the answer.

You hang up.

No, you hang up!

Tonight, on Partners In Rhyme,

the beauty craze that's sweeping the nation.

They're calling it the food face-lift.

I'll call you back.

Its main ingredient - butter.

Forget botox,

they're calling this scientific breakthrough "buttox".

They say hair loss, nausea and smelling of butter

is a small price to pay for skin

that's smoother than my favourite singer.

Love you, Barry.

According to leading scientist Dr Noah Lott,

the jury's still out, but as far as he's concerned,

his skin still feels lifeless and grey.

The idea that mere butter can reverse the ravages of time

-is utterly...utterly...

-Ahem!

-KER-CHING!

-..true!

I use it every day and I'm 106.

Look at me! I look like a baby!

But despite these irrefutable findings...

I love buttox.

So, I've come to one of Britain's most exclusive beauty spas.

It's here that Katya will put buttox on my face.

Yeah, whatevs, Grandad.

The question is, will it make me look ten years younger?

KETTLE BUBBLES

And after two hours in the chair,

finally, it's the moment of truth.

-IN RILEY'S VOICE:

-So, what do you think?

OMG, what a hottie!

Oh, yes.

I'm Alex Riley and I look fabulous.

-Back to you in the studio, Len.

-TING!

APPLAUSE

How many did you get at home? Let's see if you were right.

There's one.

Barry White, candlelight.

Well done!

Yeah, you both got that. Well done.

Next one. Speaker, beaker.

Well done.

Yes, Ed got that.

-This is going to be...

-This is going to be so painful.

Moving on. Cash, moustache.

-Cash, 'tache. Oh!

-See, I say moust-arsh.

-Moust-osh.

I say moust-arsh.

Cash, 'tache. Yeah.

What are you chiming in for?

You were just watching it like you were at home.

OK, no-one got that one, let's watch the next one.

Drink, wink.

I did say that. I did say that.

-Did you say it?

-I said, "Drink, wink."

-There we go, next one.

Foil and boil.

Yes!

Both got that. Well done.

So, your scores for Rhyme Watch are...

Sara, you got 2,

which brings your overall score to 5.

Ed, you got 3,

which brings your overall score to my favourite number!

-ALL:

-Seven!

-Seven!

-Seven!

Well, there are more points to be won

before the next round is done.

Whoever is in the lead after this round

will go on to tackle our end game to play for the holiday.

MUSIC: Heatwave by Martha And The Vandellas

Are you dancing?

APPLAUSE

OK, here we go. It's time for...

BONG!

Good evening, I'm Len Goodman, and this is the News At Len.

BONG!

I have four news stories for you,

you must work out the rhyming headline that goes with them.

Listen carefully, but don't buzz in until I ask for the headline.

There are two points for each correct answer.

It's time for tonight's news.

First up, TV news.

BONG!

The host of the X Factor is now presenting a cookery show.

However, he had to be escorted off set

after chopping onions made him start to weep uncontrollably.

Bawling, the presenter quit the show,

saying, "That's 'shallot'!" What's the headline?

BELL RINGS

-Yeah.

-Ed buzzed in.

Dermot O'Leary's getting teary.

Let's have a look.

# Crying... #

There you go, well done. APPLAUSE

Jaymi, that was so fast. Well done.

Music news.

BONG!

The singer famous for hits

like River Deep, Mountain High and Private Dancer

has today won a traditional rural English competition,

in which contestants put their heads

through a horse collar and pull horrible faces.

What's the headline?

-Ed?

-You got it?

-Tina Turner is a gurner.

-Let's have a look.

-No!

# You're simply the best... # APPLAUSE

Did you know that one?

It's all about how you start, AND how you finish.

KRISS YELLS

Tina Turner is a champion gurner.

You could've got that? LAUGHTER

OK, next up, cookery news.

BONG!

It's claimed that a famous vampire

was the inventor of a kitchen utensil,

used to scrape bowls and lift food.

Before he invented the kitchen tool,

he used a flat piece of wood,

but the Transylvanian said, "That sucked."

What's the headline?

-BOING!

-Dracula uses a spatula.

-Let's have a look.

-Oh, go on, go on, go on!

Dracula.

Yeah, uses a spatula. APPLAUSE

Check you out!

And finally, sports news.

BONG!

-Come on!

-One of England's most celebrated cricketers

is suffering from the symptoms of a cold today.

The tall Lancashire lad

who helped England win the Ashes in 2005 told us,

"My throat is tickly and dry.

"It's really making me splutter and gasp.

"I feel completely bowled over." What's the headline?

BELL RINGS It was Sara.

Freddie Flintoff has a cough.

LAUGHTER

-Freddie Flintoff has a cough.

-Well done, well done.

Thank you, teamwork, teamwork. It was you two.

Usually, cricketers get the runs.

LAUGHTER AND GROANS

Oh, Lenny, Lenny, Lenny!

-ALL:

-Oi, oi, oi!

Ha-ha! APPLAUSE

And that's all for News At Len.

A man can only take so many bongs.

BONG!

APPLAUSE

So, after all that rhyming, miming and headlining,

who's going through to the final round?

Sara, you have 9 points, well done.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Respectable, respectable.

Ed, you've got 11!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Which means through to play for the holiday is Ed!

CHEERING

Sara, let me just say, no-one leaves empty-handed.

You're going to get a Pen From Len.

FANFARE PLAYS

This is better than a holiday, to be honest.

She can put that in an online auction.

-You could, yeah, you'll get a...

-No, I'll treasure this.

Look, ain't it lovely? Look at me.

Look at that stunning pen... Oh!

ALL LAUGH

-What are you trying to do?

-Don't touch it.

-Thank you so much.

-Anyway, Sara, thank you.

-Tash, Kriss, what a fabulous team.

-Thank you, Len.

-Teamwork!

Teamwork makes dreams work! APPLAUSE

Yeah!

Ed, congratulations on making it through to the final round.

Come and join me in the middle for the final riddle.

APPLAUSE

-Ed, congratulations.

-Thank you.

Well, your partners have taken you this far,

-but here is where you have to go it alone, OK?

-OK.

If you can rhyme against time, you'll be needing a fan in Milan.

-ALL:

-Oooh!

On the screen, you'll see a clock split into six segments.

Each segment contains a three-part rhyme,

like Top Cat with a baseball bat wearing a straw hat.

You must solve all six segments to win the holiday.

If you get stuck, you can move on,

but you must complete them all within the time.

Six on the board, you're going abroad.

Let's play Rhyme Against Time.

APPLAUSE

-Ready?

-Yes.

-Here we go.

Er, that's a mole...in a bowl in the North Pole?

Correct!

Yes! That's one.

That's... James May on a motorway, er...

What's come off his head?

And he's lost his toupee.

Yeah!

Next one.

Oh, um, that's a unicorn eating popcorn on a lawn.

Yes!

Well done.

Next one.

Er, it's a bath.

Oh, a pink drink in a sink?

Correct! Well done.

Who's that?

That's Cher... She's got a bear.

Cher with a bear, a baby bear,

a seat, a chair.

Oh, it's Cher with a bear in a chair.

Yeah!

Next one!

Oh, that's Dale Winton playing badminton...

Yeah, who's that?

-With Hillary Clinton!

-Yes!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Congratulations.

You'll be needing a fan in Milan, you've won the holiday!

Oh, well done. Well, that's it for Partners In Rhyme for today.

A big thank you to Jaymi Hensley, Cheryl Baker...

APPLAUSE

..and thank you to Tash Demetriou and Kriss Akabusi!

We'll see you soon and remember, if you've got the time...

-ALL:

-Len's got the rhyme!

Goodnight, goodnight! Well done!

Oh, thank you, Len, thank you so much.

# There's been rhymes from the start of time

# Get a word or a name one that sounds the same

# Poems, sonnets, limericks, verses

# Rhymes in love and rhymes in curses

# I've been rhyming since a very young man

# But that was Cockney rhyming slang

# This is the end

# We're all out of time

# You've had a good game

# You've had a good rhyme

# Join us again for more larks and mishaps

# That's the end for tonight

# And that's a wrap. #