Episode 5 Let's Dance for Sport Relief

for Sport Relief. Welcome your hosts, it is Alex

APPLAUSE Well, this is the Grand Final, and

we are live. Live people, we're live.

If I may, of course a huge thanks to our professional dancers, they

have been amazing throughout the series, they really have. Thank you

guys. So talented, and so, so sexy. Stop it.

Hello and welcome to what can only be described as thermonuclear dance

war, eight acts will shake their high-achieving thang, in an attempt

to become the greatest celebrity dance act in the known boogie-verse.

20 acts have graced this very stage, but only one can become the disco-

God, that is Let's Dance Champion 2012.

Cue applause APPLAUSE

JLS will also be performing the official Sport Relief single

tonight. We like a bit of JLS.

Tell them the next bit. # And she's flown in just for us,

it is the wonderful Katy Perry. So the wait is over, it is time to

get acquainted with some of the bravest human beings on the planet.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is a privilege to welcome back the

saviours of dance-kind, the Let's Dance 2012 Finalists! Tameka and

Laurie. Terry Alderton.

Eddie The Eagle. Miles miles.

Dani and Tyger. Omid Djalili.

Rowland Rivron. That was very good.

Just that bit was good, simply delicious.

What's at stake? Well, the winner tonight will walk

away with this. No, that's a jar of pickles, pan the camera to the left

please, there she is. The finest plastic trophy in the

fires of Mount Doom. I think I would rather the pickles.

Let's not forget tonight our finalists are giving their all for

Sport Relief. Let's hear it for our acts, wonderful, wonderful people.

So, who will take their place in our Hall of Dance Fame, alongside,

Robert Webb, James Thornton and Rufus Hound and Charlie Baker, and

be crowned, Let's Dance Champion. The decision is your's at home, you

alone will decide who takes the title, and whose boop will rise to

the top. We are opening the phone lines

right at the top of the show, and have arranged for a particularly

grand lady to do just that. No, Alice Barry is not back is she?

In your dreams. Can the audience still be

upstanding, here we are. (clears throat) It gives me great

pleasure, to introduce Her Majesty I here by declare the Let's Dance

Grand Final telephone lines are now open. Thank you so much your

majesty, thank you. I concede to your brilliance, you win.

Now, remember, numbers for each act are not the same as they were in

previous shows. So please make sure that you dial in for the right act

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 43 seconds

Have you quite finished? Yes I have. We will remind you of all the

numbers throughout the show. Calls cost 50p from a BT landline, and

36.5p will go to sport very live. Other operators may vary, and calls

from mobiles will be considerably higher. The lines will close, what

are you doing? A face? Just standing here being bored. Get the

bill payer's permission before you call. It is down to you, you are

the Lords of the dance tonight. Your votes alone will decide this

year's Let's Dance Champion. Obviously deciding who to vote for

tonight is a very important decision. It is not like deciding

what house to buy, or whether to have children, this really matters.

He's right, it is a massive decision. To help you make it, well

we have gone out and got you a little panel. I have said it before,

I will say it again, what a panel. Two of them follow the Let's Dance

tradition of having left feet and absolutely no sense of rhythm.

other is so knowledgeable, we did actually think she turned up at the

wrong studio this evening. How have we got her. It is Frank Skinner,

Rhod Gilbert and Queen of the dance, APPLAUSE

I defy you to make any sense of that introduction. It was good. It

was big. It was marvellous. Your panel for

the evening, it is time for the first finalist. Before Let's Dance,

not only had this man never danced on live TV, he had never won

anything, ever. Now he could win a prize that makes Olympic gold look

like runners up in the meat raffle. There is something you need to see.

Gentlemen, as you know the ancient Mayan civilisation predicted the

end of the world in 2012. There must be a thousand of these

apocalyptic predictions, so we never paid it any heed, until this

happened. Going straight into the final is Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards.

This is a 4,000-year-old Mayan prophesy, it should perennial loser

Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards ever win anything, the universe will implode,

and life will cease to exist. what you are saying, if he wins the

final on Saturday...Exactly. I It's good to see you again Eddie.

It's been a long time. Why, after everything we talked about. I just

wanted to be good at something. You're good, Eddie, the trouble is,

you're too good. Your lines are impecable. And that

hitch-kick, it was, to die for. But you know you can't win, don't you

Eddie. Why not? The prophesy. is just ancient mumbo jumbo, we

don't know if it's real. We can't take that chance, which is why I

want you to dance in the final, and I want you to lose. Then I never

want you to dance again. That is what you said about the ski jumping.

What? Nothing. Will you do it Eddie, will you make me that promise?

That was incredible. Alex, this thing just got real. For Sport

Relief, here we go, dancing as Austin Powers, to Soul Bossa Nova -

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 43 seconds

Instrumental, it is Eddie 'The Big thank you to The Royal British

Legion band Romford there, fantastic, they are multiplying,

there is more of them. Outstanding, are you happy with it?

Very happy. Shall we find out what the panel think? Skinner? It was an

extravaganza, there was ten million people on the stage, and eddie

looking like a distressed zebra in the middle of it. Lots of pointing,

some pointing can be lack lustre, I would have missed a lot of stuff if

he hadn't pointed it out to me. State-of-the-art pointing, well

done, mate. It is lovely that we have someone,

finally, who can comment on the technical ability of our dancers.

could have done, but Eddie I thought I was hallucinating, Mike

Myers and the Twist have nothing on you. It was like a dream, I can't

critque it technically because I was somewhere else! Fair enough,

and Rhod, do you think Eddie deserves to win something? Look at

that face, of course he does. change? I thought was inspired

choosing a character that allows you to wear your own glasses! I

thought it was awesome, I was never quite sure whether you were called

Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards because you soared like an eagle or you ate

mice, tonight I thought you were a sexy, wall rus-toothed love eagle!

There we have it, our panel is sold, if Eddie's Bossa Nova won you over,

Remember tonight is your last chance to vote for your favourite,

thank you very much, Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards.

Even his glasses have steamed up. He's been in character for the last

three weeks. Fantastic. Tina Turner has won nine Grammy

Awards, seven Billboard Music Awards, and has a star on the

Hollywood Walk Of Fame. But tonight is her greatest honour yet, being

impersonated by a big, bald, butch Hello, hello. What? Nothing.

It's you, it's you isn't it. Stand- up comedian, Terry Alderton here.

Who? No the one that did the Tina Turner on the dance show, do the

face, I love the face. Tim, do the I knew this would happen. I know,

we're in the final. Not the final, you know it has taken me the years

to build up the reputation of a credible stand-up comedian, now all

I'll be remembered for is the dance and the face. Go on, do the face.

That's it, we're not doing the final? This charade is over. Oh no

it isn't. Oh yes it is. Well I guess that settles that then.

Best of five. A man whose dancing career is like

his skirt, short and inappropriate. For Sport Relief, dancing to Proud

Mary, by Tina Turner, it is Terry # Down in the city

# Working for the man # Every night and day

# Big wheel keep on turning # Proud Mary keep on burning

# And we're rolling # Rolling

# Rolling yeah # Rolling on a river

# In the city # Working for the man

# Every night and day # I never lost a minute of sleeping

# Worrying about things #Ic about wheel keep on turning

# Proud Mary # Keep on burning

# Rolling # Rolling on the river

# Rolling # Rolling on the river

# Do do do # Yeah

# Rolling # Rolling on the river

# Rolling # Rolling on the riverle # Rolling

# Rolling # Rolling on the river

# Rolling APPLAUSE

Terry Alderton, come and join us. You really refined that impression,

it is eerie. How are you doing? really, really like you. Don't do

this? I really, listen. Butt out Jones, I'm with the other Jones.

Sorry. Stand here and try to be normal for

a second. Normal. Frank Skinner, what are you thinking, Sir? I think,

if Loose Women was a late night show, that is what it would look

like. There was a moment then, when the doors opened, I thought, God,

Terry looks absolutely fantastic. I was looking at one of the girl

dancers. But the dancing was high - energy, I could see the muscles

tensing and untensing in the legs, it was excellent stuff. It was

high-energy brilliance, I thought. APPLAUSE

Frank thought it was sexy, what did you think? Tina, diva, from the

slow finger snaps, to the simy with the fringe flying, there was

nothing you couldn't do. You know what, I think you could be Tina's

personal private dancer! Rhod, you were laughing your head off? Mainly

at the facial expressions, you looked like you were having an

aneurysm, you looked like the girl at the Office Party. It puts the

lotion, otherwise it gets the hose again! It is a bit like that.

you feel that Terry's Tina should be top of the tree, this is the

be top of the tree, this is the Lines may be busy, keep trying. You

can vote for any act at any time until the lines close a bit later

until the lines close a bit later Thank you very much, Terry Alderton.

I love to watch that man walk away. For a couple of reasons!

Our next act took us back to the golden age of disco, the music was

funky, and the hair was enormous, it is Fatima Whitbread and The

Cuban Brothers. Hello friends, thank you four your continuous

support of The Cuban Brothers and Fatima. The lovely Fatima.

raidant fate ma. Oi, Fatima is coming round.

NO! You can't show Fatima the lovely jigsaw with the javelin

missing. Let's go and see my beautiful sculpture instead. No, my

sculpture, Fatima, no, someone has taken her nose, which one of you

You forget how to craft it, hombre, it's rubbish, never mind, never

mind. Ola. Fatima, Benos, si, oh, OK,

busy. Your beautiful hair, you are washing your beautiful hair, no, no,

problem. We see you in the final then. Adios, me amore, I love you.

That film will form the bulk of the evidence in Fatima's bid for a

restraining order. For Sport Relief dancing to You Should Be Dancing -

By The Bee Gees. # Out in the dark

# No woman take me higher # My woman keep me warm

# What you doing on your bed # What you doing

# You should be dancing # Yeah

# You should be dancing # Yeah

# You should be dancing # Yeah

# We should be dancing # Yeah

# We should be dancing Fatima Whitbread and The Cuban

Brothers. Come and join us guys. For me that

Come and join us guys. For me that was absolutely awesome. How was

that for you? Amazing, thank you so much. It was nerve racking, I'm

glad we got through, it was a great occasion. Panel, what are you

thinking now, Frank? I never realised before, the great thing

about dancing in flares is the trousers keep moving after the leg

has stopped. I loved the disco totem pole ending, we had a sports

legend in a nice frock, it was everything. If I was on Strictly, I

would say, "yes, you should be dancing"! Arlene what did you

think? Well, I tell you, you have made my Saturday night a fever,

because, not one John Travolta, but three, whoever dreamed it has taken

until 2012 to see Fatima Whitbread do a hustle. Arlene liked it, Rhod,

what did you make of it? I saw four John Travolta. Four, surely. I

thought you blew John Travolta away, all four of you. You made him

retrospectively look like a wheelie bin. That's a nice feeling. If you

bin. That's a nice feeling. If you like, if you liked that, you should

phone in. Remember, your call will be, of course, raising money for

It's so nice that they have become friends as well.

And maybe more! On to the next act. First he won awards as a comedian,

then he had his own TV show, then he became a Hollywood film star,

now, at long last he has hit the big time, the Let's Dance stage.

It's Omid Djalili. I can't believe I got to the final.

If you told me a year ago, even six months ago, that I got to the final,

I would have thought you are crazy. Because this is, just, wow.

I'm living the dream here. Which makes this so much harder to take.

I don't know how it happened. I woke up this morning and I had a

pain in my throat. I think I might have later reign giet tis.

-- Laryng itis. Obviously I have taken medical advice, because I

really want to perform in the final. The doctor said I could really

damage my vocal chords. I just don't know what to do. I

think because (whispers) of the state of my throat, it will be

impossible to do the final. It is a dance show, what has it to do with

your voice? I can't, it is looking impossible. Fine we will drop you

from the show. So I have done a lot of soul-searching over the last

couple of minutes, and I have decided to go for it. I'm back in.

That's not bad, that's good, it is not a race. I'm going to dance in

Just think what this final show would have been like without his

performance. Less glitzy, less glamorous. Three minutes short too!

Dancing for Sport Relief it is Omid # Do do do

# The number of the summer # The summer of the drama

# Music hitting your heart # Because I know you have soul

# Listen you all # Swinging while I'm singing

# Give me what you're giving # Rhythm of speech

# Freedom # We have to fight the powers that

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 43 seconds

# Fight the power APPLAUSE.

Omid Djalili. A crowd pleaser.

Come here you, you sickeningly talented man. You catch your breath,

we will go straight to the panel. Frank Skinner, what are you

thinking? I believe the kids that was Gee, the ending with the brooms

was like a game of urban Quidditch. I loved it, you completely were

marvellous, I loved it. That is a little nod to the riot clean-up

that was on Twitter. By the way, after a terrible debilitating

problem with my voice, I got through that. Thank you.

Thank you for your support. He's a bit of dancer, isn't he? You had a

butch crew there, and you did not let your b-boys down, you were

there, the rhythms, jumping out of shows shoes. Absolutely hot. I'm

telling you, your hips were hopping. Rhod what did you make of it?

thought it was amazing, incredible choreography, great fun, a bit of

satire, the news, the riots. It was The News At Ten, The Musical, a

hip-hopping Trevor McDonald. If you think Fight The Power is a winner,

think Fight The Power is a winner, don't fight the urge to phone. The

Your calls will raise money for Sport Relief. Thank you very much,

Omid Djalili. We have seen some fantastic acts so

far tonight, but let me tell you, that's only the half of it. Yeah I

know, because we're literally half way through the show. Here is

what's coming up. Dani Harmer and Tyger Drew-Honey, Miles Jupp,

Rowland Rivron, Tameka and Laurie. And we're also looking forward to

music from the wonderful JLS, and, of course, an exclusive performance

from Katy Perry. That's quite high-pitched over

there! Our next act are young, funny, they

can act and dance and they are here tonight. I'm assuming they have

lost a bet. It is Dani and Tyger. Another night on the town with my

best girl, and we just got through to the final. I could tell that she

was very impressed with my smooth Are you two pip squeaks, Tyger and

Dani? I wasn't scared of this punk, I ain't the kind of guy who backs

down? Yes! You two, need to throw the dance in the final. Fat Sam's

got a lot of money riding on it, and Fat Sam isn't used to losing.

This bruiser was trying to sweat me, I was harder than a GCSE math's

exam without a calculator, hi to protect this broad. I needed a plan.

Dani, we need a plan, do something, It's a good job you're a good

The custard pie is actually very effective, especially, if like that

gangster you are lactose intolerant. It can kill a man dead!

For Sport Relief, dancing to fat # Will soon walk through that door

# At fat Sam # Grand Slam

# Speak easy # Always able to find you a table

# There is room for just one more # At fat Sam's

# Grand Slam # Speak easy

# Once you get here # Fat Sam is your

# Home sweet home # Plans are made here

# Each night astounds you # Stories by the dozen

# Anybody who is anybody # Will soon walk through that door

# At Fat Sam's Grand Slam # Politicians saved by the kitchen

# Caught his fingers there # Once you get in

# Fat Sam is your home sweet home # Plans are made here

# Games are played here # Each night astounds you

# Movers are above you # Stories by the dozen

# Look around your person # The news we make here

# Everybody who is will anybody # Will soon walk through that door

# Fat Sam's # Grand Slam

perfect, are you happy with that perfect, are you happy with that

Dani? I'm happy, good the second time around, I still can't breathe.

Tyger are you happy. Very happy, thank you.

First of all, it is a privilege to be here at the moment Tyger's voice

broke! That was like being at a musical, almost too good for the

show. Professional, lovely, I love the moustache, the kiss curl, I

will bid on the Sport Relief website when it is over. Really top

notch. Arlene? Really professional, you two sparkle like Schwartz could

have crystals on a Charles en to cloud. What did you think?

Sickeningly talented. How old are you? 16, you should be playing

fruit machines in a chip shop, that is what I was doing at your age.

If you thought the dancing with custard cut the mustard, the number

custard cut the mustard, the number is on the screen. Please remember,

the bill payer needs to give permission before the call.

Dani and Tyger be careful of the Dani and Tyger be careful of the

Next is a class act, and an upper middle-class act, who proved his

total dedication, not only by dyeing his hair and knitting his

own jumper, but practicing Firestarter on his Aga all week. It

is Miles Jupp. Since taking part in Let's Dance

for Sport Relief, my life has changed immeasurable for the worse.

My friends warned me against doing it, but I ...I just wouldn't listen.

You are going to look like the biggest. We don't want to see you

dance. Think of your family, Miles. Now they have disowned me, I turned

to my parents for support, but, they just don't understand what it

Now to make things much, much worse, I have to go through the

excruciating process again. What was all that about? I know how

things are done, I am on Rev. have decided I don't want to see

him ever again. All I can do now is win the thing.

And claim that prize money. There is no prize money, Miles, it

is for charity. What? It is a charity gig, there is no money.

What, none? There is no... The people at home, they like to see

someone going home with a big pot of cash, that is why people watch

television on a Saturday night, it's what it's for.

Any way, do you need me to do anything else, is that all right,

done, great. What is the point of this!

Ridiculous, complete waste of time. We can just take a quick look at

Miles supporters in the friends and family area. All very excited, not

to be here. Awkward. Wasn't expecting that, what a lovely

audience. Dancing to Firestarter by the Prodigy, all for sports relief,

# Danger illustrated # I'm a fire starter

# Twisted Firestarter # I'm The Fire-Eaters

# Twisted Firestarter # I'm the Firestarter

# Twisted Firestarter # I'm the one infected

# Twisted animator # I'm a Firestarter

# Twisted Firestarter # I'm a Firestarter

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 43 seconds

Well done. Are you happy with that? Yeah. No.

No. It was great, obviously. Let's see what the panel think, shall we?

Frank Skinner? What I liked about it, it was called Firestarter, and

it looked like Ronald McDonald had been in a fire! Your hair might get

the Irish vote tonight. I think it made a nice change from the

dancing! Well, it was like a horror film, man wakes up in unenlightened

psychiatric hospital, goes camping with some girls, gets happy, it was

exciting. Entertaining nonetheless? Arlene turned to me and said it was

technically brilliant. Absolutely, there wasn't a lot of choreography,

but Miles, it was a brilliant portrayal of a nightmare, and I did

recognise the head-banging, there you go, brilliant, that's dancing.

Rhod anything, quickly? I thought it was a wonderful transformation

from Guardian-reading posh boy, into terrifying Crusty The Clown

and Gene Simmons! If you thought that Mr Jupp was the best by miles!

that Mr Jupp was the best by miles! Do you like it. Call on this number.

The call will make a difference to There goes a broken man.

He's glad to get it over, to be honest.

On an ordinary dance show, you would never expect the winner to be

a middleaged dad strutting about in a grey sue. This is no ordinary

dance show or no ordinary dad, this I saw you up there, old man,

busting my moves. Who is that, it's Christopher Walken. Hey, dipstick,

keep the voice down. We don't want everybody to hear. I stopped in to

give you some advice. You can either take it or leave it, I'm

only going to say it once. The key to perfecting this dance is simple,

if you follow my advice, I promise you, you will win the final. Do you

want a pinapple cube? No, I don't want a pinapple cube, you clown,

just shut up and listen. A wise man once told me, when it comes to

dancing you got to look at things from from an all together different

perspective, you have to float like a feather. When the moment comes,

you have to sting like a...Sorry, Chris, if I don't powder up after a

performance, I will run into all sorts of chaffing problems, what

were you saying? The secret to perfecting this dance, and winning

the Let's Dance for Sport Relief is simple. Taxi for Mr Rivron. Have to

stop you there, cab's here, nice to see you, cheers. What a strange man.

If you don't believe that was actually Christopher Walken, well

here he is in the studio, ladies and gentlemen.

Fair play, he even made a banner. He's a shy man.

Good effort. For Sports Personality of the Year, dancing to Weapon Of

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 43 seconds

Choice - Fatboy Slim, it's Rowland Weapon Of Choice - Fatboy Slim

Quite remarkable. Roland. Come join Fabulous, are you happy.

Over the moon. It is a lovely place. You should be happy, what are you

thinking? The message to any young people watching this is don't be

afraid of middleage, it can be very beautiful.

Honestly, I would like to learn it and do it every day. It is honestly

one of the best dances I have ever seen on this show. I totally loved

it. That was brilliant wasn't it, Arlene? Rowland, you are my weapon

of massive choice. You have style dripping off you like molt and lava,

those stalk walks, I will be stalking you? Rhod, did you like

the stalk walks? I loved them. Potentially that could have been a

disaster, it is such a cool song, Christopher Walken, it was such a

brave, bold choice, you are dancing so exposed on your own up there.

But Christopher Walken, I have to say, he made you look like Bungle.

If Rowland's Fatboy Slim, means he should be old boy win, we didn't

should be old boy win, we didn't write that, call the newspaper.

Lines may be busy, when you call your money will go to help some of

the world's poorest countries and projects here in the UK.

In the first week of Let's Dance, two stars of EastEnders became

Beyonce and Gaga, and unusually for residents of Albert Square, their

appearance didn't end in misery and disaster, it is Tameka and Laurie.

Do you know what Laurie, after winning the first heat of Let's

Dance, it has been a-maz-ing. has been absolute madness. For the

first time, I know what it is like being you, when people stop you in

the street, asking you for your autograph, your photograph, it is

amazing. It is even on a whole different level, even for me Tameka,

I'm used to being recognised, seems everyone wants a piece of me now.

It's your boyfriend, again. Tell him I'm busy being famous.

It's nothing. Jonathan Ross, and Stephen Fry now following me on

Tonight's the night. Hello, hello, hello. Can I help you ladies.

we're Tameka and Laurie, as in Beyonce and Lady Gaga. You are

having a laugh, aren't you. I watch that programme, Tameka's much

taller than you, and next you will be telling me you're Jane Beale.

Jane Beale, she was well fit. coming in, excuse us. Code red

alert, security. We're on stage in ten minutes!

I want to assure you that no members of the EastEnders cast were

hurt in the making of the vt, the two bouncers are expected to make a

full recovery. For Sport Relief, dancing to Telephone by Lady Gaga

and Beyonce, it is Tameka and # You called I can't hear a thing

# I have no service in the club you # What did you say

# You're breaking up on me # Sorry I cannot hear you

# I'm kind of busy # Sorry I can't hear you

# I'm kind of busy # Just a second

# That's my favourite song # They're going to play

# I can't text you # Now you won't stop calling me

# I'm kind of busy # Stop calling

# Stop call # I don't want to think any more

# I want to go to the dance floor # Stop calling

# My head and my heart on the dance floor

# # Should have left my phone at home

# This is such a sad song # I have to let go

# Stop calling # I don't want to think any more

# My head and heart on the dance floor

# Stop calling # I don't want to talk any more

# I left my head and my heart on the dance floor

# Stop calling # I don't want to think any more

# I left my head # And my heart on the dance floor

# Stop calling # I don't want to talk any more

# I left my heart It's a crowd pleaser.

Laurie are you happy? Very happy. Tameka happy? I feel good, like my

Godfather said I would. Frank, are you happy? I'm very

happy. That was really, I was getting Pepsi and Shirley

flashbacks. That squatting thing at the end looked really hard. I

didn't know if you were coming back up, up you came. It was really

exciting, it was proper dancing, I loved it. Brilliant, well done.

Was it good for you Arlene? Girls you are so Lady Gaga and Beyonce.

With all that hip pounding, vogueing, you are fantastic. East

end Enders, over, this is your world now.

-- EastEnders over, this is your world now. It has totally ruined

EastEnders for me now, are you really Jane Beale, from the chippy.

Is that you? You look even better than you do in a hygiene hat and a

white smoke, even better. If the girls' Telephone engaged you,

you want to see them take home the you want to see them take home the

title, call the number. Please remember to get the bill-

payer's permission before you call. Thank you very much Tameka and

So, there you have it, eight acts, eight iconic dance routines, eight

pimples on the face of dance. Who should be first to place their

disco flag on the summit of Mount Dance, it is up to you. There is

plenty of time to decide, lines are still open for about ten minutes.

In keeping with the refined nature of the show, we have classic words

from a renowned thespian, whose flour rid tones are like a delicate

flower. For sooth, the terms and conditions-th. When I was first

asked to be part of Let's Dance, I thought me, Simon Callow, shake my

booty on the television. I prefer a booty on the television. I prefer a

little vocal booty,, calls cost 50p from a BT landline, of which 36.5p

goes to Sport Relief. Other operators may vary, and calls from

mobiles will be considerably higher. For more details, visit the website.

All one word! Beautifully done, Simon, who do you want to see

crowned Let's Dance Champion 2012. Here is a reminder of all eight

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 43 seconds

performances with the numbers you There is just about five minutes

left, so please keep the votes coming in, not only will it

temporarily lift the spirits of a nervous celebrity, but each vote

will help boost the Sport Relief efforts. Although this year's Let's

Dance story, it is nearly over, so sad.

There is still plenty more of Sport Relief to look forward to. Have a

Strictly is going underwater. Who are you? We're a boy band from

Savage, you're looking savage, mate. Us 39ers must stick together.

39ers? Are you a Chelsea fan? No, I hate

Any plans you had for next weekend, cancel them, you now have a date

with Sport Relief. It is a sure thing. Friday, BBC One, from 7.00pm

on wards. We're absolutely over the moon to be welcoming our next guest

on to the Let's Dance stage, with her only UK performance of her new

single Part Of Me, it is the # Days like this

# I want to drive away # Pack my bags

# And watch your shadow fade # You chewed me up

# And spit me out # Like I was poison

# In your mouth # You took my light

# You drained me down # That was then

# And this is now Now look at me

# This is the part of me # That you're never gonna

# Ever take away from me # No

# This is the part of me # That you're never gonna ever

# Take away from me # No

# Throw your sticks and stones # Throw your bombs and your blows

# But you're not gonna break my soul

# This is the part of me # That you're never gonna ever

# Take away from me # No

# I just wanna throw my phone away # Find out who is really

# There for me # You ripped me off

# Love was cheap # Was always tearing at the seams

# I fell deep # You let me drown

# But that was then # And this is now

Now look at me # This is the part of me

# That you're never gonna ever # Take away from me

# This is the part of me # That you're never gonna ever

# Take away from me # No

# Throw your sticks and stones # Throw your bombs and your blows

# But you're not gonna # Break my soul

# This is the part of me # That you're never gonna ever

# Take away from me # No

# Now look at me # I'm sparkling

# A firework # A dancing flame

# You won't ever put me out again # I'm glowing

# Oh oh # So you can keep the diamond ring

# It don't mean nothing any way # In fact you can keep everything

# Yeah yeah # He can September for me

# This is the part of me # That you're never gonna

# Ever take away from me # No

# This is the part of me # That you're never gonna ever

# Take away from me # No

# Throw your sticks and your stones # Throw your bombs and your blows

# You're not gonna break my soul # This is the part of me

# That you're never gonna ever take away

# From me # No

# Come on # This is the part of me

# Throw your sticks # And your stones

# Oh # Break my soul

# This is the part of me # That you're never gone ever

APPLAUSE The wonderful Katy Perry, I almost

wore the same outfit. That would have been embarrassing.

Phone lines are now closed, thank you very much for voting, stop

doing it. We really appreciate that. OK, I'm not going to lie to you, it

is the final show, even though it is St Patrick's Day, the mood in

Shenanigans is subdued, we are all professionals, let's try to get

through this, shall we. Subdued my bum, this is Shenanigans,

baby, it is like the lower decks of the Titanic. We have an Irish folk

band, we have Omid Djalili running through shot, dancing, even.

We have a superStar Bar tender, Queen Elizabeth II, thank you very

much. By the way, it's the Diamond Jubilee here, please consider

Shenanigans as a venue. I will think about that. Time for a bit of

chit chat, that is why we are here. Fatima Whitbread and The Cuban

Brothers, so much riding on this, more so for you, if you win, you

win the trophy, and Fatima, lot of pressure. It is a lot of pressure,

what a beautiful evening, bonita, that is coming home. Such wonderful

sentiments, if you win and end up living with these guys for a year,

you will have your javelin to fend them off? I'm sorry for them.

Laurie and Tameka, very colourful characters, if you won this evening,

who would take the trophy home? would be me. Ha ha, she's a

comedian, she's going into comedy. We will arm wrestle for it. With

great power comes great responsibility, maybe you are not

ready to win, if you are arguing already? Maybe. Good luck.

Omid Djalili, if you win this evening, who will take the trophy

home? No-one takes me seriously, every time I say something people

laugh at me. Shut up you silly man, that was a lot of fun.

Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards, the Mayan prophesy dictates if you win

this evening, the world will come to a fiery end. Eddie, it would be

worth it, wouldn't it? It would be worth it. I would actually win

something. What would it mean to you to win Let's Dance? It would be

fantastic, I'm keeping my skis crossed it will happen. Can I just

say, this man, I was watching earlier on in rehearsals, he fell

over and twisted his knee, he really hurt himself, he went out

there. Are you OK? It looked painful but also humiliating

because you were in a red dress? know, I manned up and I thought I

will go out there and raise money for charity. What a cross-dressing

guy! You two, you could be, if you play your cards right, the youngest

winners of the Let's Dance trophy, ever, you are so young, I think in

a way it is kind of an advantage. Look at the people in this room,

look at this guy? I'm 23, I'm not that young. But Tyger. I'm 16 and

my voice is breaking. It is not really an advantage. It broke ages

ago, it fluctuates sometimes. The best of luck with that.

Rowland, have you become resigned to the fact that for the rest of

your life now, whatever party you go to, people are going to say, do

the dance? Yes, I know, they will be bitterly disappointed. Why?

Because I can't remember it. I'm old, I'm 60 and I know it. Thank

you Rowland. Miles Jupp, OK, moving forward from Let's Dance, how

damaged do you think your reputation will be in high society

circles? I think people will continue to shun me, Steve. What

will they think at the polo club? I'm not genuinely that posh, Steve,

in the way you are genuinely not that Welsh, that is a showbiz

secret. I am this Welsh and you are that posh. Good luck guys. Thank

you very much for your time, you are really heros, every single one

of them. Honoured to be back here Alex, it is back to you.

Always a heck of a night in Shenanigans. We are now counting

and verifying your calls, don't forget you can still donate to

Sport Relief with just a single text. JLS, of course, went to

Uganda to witness firsthand where your money goes, this is a tough

but very important film. I do have to warn you as well, some viewers

may find it a little bit distressing.

We are here in Uganda to tell you about the heart-breaking illnesses

Mohammed is just six weeks old, and was brought in by his mum this

morning, with severe pneumonia. This is terrible. His mum had to

walk for hours to get here today. She has no other mode of transport.

It is just distressing to see a mother have to go through this.

Such a little baby. You can see he's having a lot of difficulty

breathing. So many kids in here, they are all not well. Everywhere

we look, there are desperately sick children.

What is really scary to think is one in eight of these children will

die before they are five years old. Something as simple as a �5 vaccine,

in most cases, will prevent them from being here.

It is just ridiculous. You can't get any clearer than this,

you guys have the chance to save lives. Just �5 would stop a case

like this, right here. Sadly, it was too late for Mohammed, he died

just an hour after we left. Guys this really is an emergency, we can

see it all around us, that a simple �5 to get a vaccine like this and

all of these children wouldn't have to be here, please do something

about it right now and text the word "yes" to 70005, because you

will definitely be saving lives, please, let's do something about

this. That's the reason why your help is

so desperately needed. If you want JLS have also provided us with the

best official Sport Relief single since, ever, I think. You do like

that one. Here it is, singing Proud, # When my strength was gone

# And I just gave up on life # In my darkest place

# You were my guide # And you told me that I

# Should live my life to the limit # When you fall down

# Get back up and fight # Well the shape of my heart don't

# I'm determined when you trust in # It's all I need

# Now I'm hoping # If you hear this

# You believe that all that I do # Is to make you proud

# Make me stronger # So I rise up

# Made my mind up # So that all I do

# Is to make you proud Proud proud

# Make you proud proud Make you proud proud

# All that I do is to make you proud

# Nobody can tell me # They were there for me

# Before you came around # There was pain in every heart

beat # But eventually

# You build my resolve to be strong # Now I'm hoping

# If you hear this # You believe that all that I do

# Is to make you proud # Now I'm hoping

# If you hear this # You believe that

# All that I do is to # Make you proud

# Proud proud proud # proud proud

# All that I do is to make you proud

# Proud proud # Make you proud

# Proud proud # All that I do is to make you

proud APPLAUSE

Thank you so much to JLS, that single will be in the shops and

available to download from Monday. The friends and family area is ram

jammed here, Tony and David are here, a few familiar faces from

EastEnders from over there. But you know what, they are all on the edge

of their stools. Steve, is it time for the results?

Oh it's time, Alex, it's time, big time. Let's welcome the finalists

back to the stage. Eddie The Eagle, Tameka and Laurie,

Terry Alderton, Rowland Rivron, Fatima and The Cuban Brothers,

Miles Jupp, Omid Djalili, Dani and Over the past five weeks, 12

celebrity acts, 20, sorry, celebrity acts have put their

dancing hopes and dreeps in your hands. And all for Sport Relief --

dreams in your hands, all for Sport Relief. Now we're down to the final

eight. The agonising wait is over, it is time to reveal the winner.

Acts are you ready? Audience are you ready? Katy Perry is the trophy

ready? Yep, ready.

Thank you, panel, are you ready? Yes, ready. Then let's do this.

In no particular order. The first act whose Rumba has been rumbled

is... Miles Jupp. Dowse him in The second act whose body-popping

bubble has burst is... It's Terry Alderton. After everything he has

been through, no. The third act to stop throwing

shapes, and start throwing a tantrum is... Fatima and The Cuban

Brothers. Who saw that coming? I can't believe it.

All right, the fourth act whose jiving ain't surviving is... I

can't believe this, it's Eddie The Eagle.

This is getting stupid. The fifth act whose hokey cokey was

just to ropey, is... Omid Djalili. What? That leaves just three acts,

Dani and Tyger, Rowland Rivron and Tameka and Laurie. Now two of you

are our runners up, one of them is our champion, but who received the

most viewer votes tonight? Well it is time to find out.

The act with the highest number of votes and the winner of Let's Dance

for Sport Relief 2012 is... Rowland Rivron.

Sir, come with me. Congratulations Rowland Rivron. You

dreamed the dream just a few short weeks ago and here you are

victorious, did you ever think it could happen? Certainly not, no.

You have done it. Anybody you would like to thank? Andrea, my physio,

and Richard who has taught me everything, and David who showed me

everything, and you two, you are gorgeous. All of that with a gamy

knee? A very gamy knee. So Rowland Rivron is the champion of Let's

Dance for Sport Relief tonight. And to pass on the dance baton, and

mark your incredible achievement, it is last year's winners, James

Titans of men. Would you like to do the ceremony,

please. It gives me great pleasure to pass

this to a great man, and a great dancer. Rowland Rivron.

He's done it. Rowland, you have been incredible, and as champion

you have a year of civic duties and official functions ahead of you, by

begin now, with your inaugural performance, go and get ready. We

want to see it one more time baby. So, there goes our winner, but all

of our acts have performed brilliantly this evening, and

through the series, let's give a huge round of applause to Eddie

'The Eagle' Edwards, Terry Alderton, Fatima and The Cuban Brothers, Omid

Djalili, Dani and Tyger, Miles Jupp and, of course, Tameka and Laurie.

I think you will agree, it has been a series to remember, but just in

case you forgot, take a look at this.

Whoop with every fibre of your That's Shenanigans.

For the love of God ladies it's 7.00pm. It was amazing.

Gangster man, you know. It was physical poetry.

This is Shenanigans. Shut-up. Austin Powers said, gravy baby.

Ifrpblgt that was the 60s. I often wondered if you gave Dennis the

Menace Orvill, he's haircut and too many blue smarties.

You're in Shenanigans, baby. Yes. The performance of such maturity.

Three words people, West End Hit. That was fantastic, enthusiasm, you

can really move. Is there a doctor in the house? Mr Lional Blair.

was quality. Wow, that is what I'm talking about.

What a two week it is has been, and a massive thank you to you, let's

thank viewers voting for Sport Relief, it makes a massive

difference. Your calls and texts have raised over �1 million. Thank

you so much. And don't forget, Sport Relief

Night is on BBC One, this Friday, 23rd March, from 7.00. You can get

involved with Sport Relief going to the web site. Are you ready to see

your winner, one last time? Yes.

Dancing to Weapon Of Choice - Fatboy Slim, please welcome your

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 43 seconds

champion of Let's Dance 2012, it is # You can go with that

# You can go with us # You can go with this

# You can go with that # You can go with this

# The weapon of choice # You can go with this

# You can go with that # You can go with this

# You can go with that # You can go with this

# You can go with us # You can go with this

# You can go with that # You with go with this

A worthy winner, let's have you up front, sir, come and enjoy it.

So there we are, a massive thank you to all of our 20 celebrity acts