Diwydiant Carthffosiaeth Lisa: Y Dyn ei Hun

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-I'm Lisa Angharad

-and during this series...

-..I'll be trying professions

-traditionally associated with men.

-This week, sadly, I'm stepping

-into the world of waste management.

-I'll cry, laugh and wretch

-along the way.

-There's no turning back now.

-I'll have to face the stench

-with a smile.

-Good start!

-To introduce me to the world

-of cack gradually...

-..I'm meeting an expert.

-She's a singer,

-actress, presenter...

-..and a peerless sewerage cleaner.

-Hi, Caryl.

-Hiya, Lisa, how are you?

-You're famous for singing -

-you sung a song called Shampw.

-Tell us more about your career

-in the sewerage industry.

-I don't work

-in the sewerage industry.

-I work in the entertainment world -

-singing and stuff.

-What?

-Never worked with cack? Really!

-How about Dafydd Du and Dewi Pws?

-Talking of Pws...

-Hello. Hello.

-Nice to meet you. Are you alright?

-Hello, are you alright?

-I'm here to work

-in the sewerage business.

-I have no idea what's in store.

-I have no idea what's in store.

-

-You're very brave.

-Don't say that.

-You're the celebrities

-of the sewerage industry.

-What are you going to do? Any ideas?

-I'm going up to GEWS

-in Penrhyndeudraeth.

-Then I'm off to London,

-to the big sewers.

-The Victorian sewers?

-I think so. You know more than me.

-That'll be a real eye-opener.

-That'll be a real eye-opener.

-

-That will be an experience.

-They're larger

-than Ceredigion's sewers.

-Oh, yes.

-I am worried about rats.

-I'm scared of them. I'm not scared

-of much but I am scared of rats.

-You will encounter rats, yes.

-Even in Ceredigion?

-Even in Ceredigion?

-

-In Ceredigion too, yes.

-What else could I be doing?

-Deep sewer cleaning.

-You'll see one of these in London.

-In the large sewers in London.

-We primarily use these

-in the sewers.

-There's a pipe on the back.

-We use this valve

-to empty Portaloos.

-Attach a pipe to this.

-Water comes out of this pipe.

-It helps...

-It helps...

-

-Refresh.

-Yes, once the chemical goes in,

-fill it with water.

-That's it really.

-You must have interesting stories

-about what you've found.

-In last year's Eisteddfod,

-in the Portaloos...

-..we'd closed the toilets down,

-ready to empty them.

-There was a tenner

-floating at the top.

-A good day's work!

-A good day's work!

-

-A very good day's work.

-A great tip.

-A great tip.

-

-Someone, somewhere, will be gutted.

-I've had a chat with both of you.

-I know what to expect.

-Any tips for me before I go?

-I'll be surrounded by men. They

-won't expect me to do a good job.

-I don't know about that.

-As long as you're conscientious,

-as long as you do a good job...

-..you might get a few tips!

-Ooh, alright!

-Ooh, alright!

-

-You might get a full-time job!

-Thanks, Aled!

-Before embarking on a career,

-you need real experience.

-I'm joining Gwynedd Environmental

-Waste Services - GEWS.

-They have hundreds of workers

-and dozens of lorries.

-Someone stuck this in my hand.

-I can feel the testosterone

-buzzing around the place.

-I'm just waiting for someone

-to come and speak to me.

-You have to be careful - lorries

-are leaving left, right and centre.

-Revs - these are real men!

-Before I could say whoops-poops,

-the yard was empty.

-Well, apart from one small lorry.

-Fair play, a gent. Who knows,

-he might be a looker too.

-Let's find out. If I can get up!

-Oh, my gosh.

-Are you OK?

-This is Alan.

-We're on our way to the first job.

-How long have you been doing

-this job?

-Ten months.

-Not long?

-What did you do before this?

-What did you do before this?

-

-Demolition.

-You drive this lorry.

-Every day.

-What do you call her?

-What do you call her?

-

-My baby!

-Do you really?!

-Tell me some horror stories.

-There must be some horror stories.

-I think the worst job I did

-was in Llandudno.

-I had to go into a piston grit.

-Piston pit?

-Piston grit?

-The water flows in

-over the grit and sand...

-..and trickles down...

-..and flows away to be processed.

-There were a lot of rats

-and the sort.

-You're fairly bald

-so it wouldn't get in your hair.

-That would be horrible.

-What about the good bits?

-Um...

-If you really hated it,

-you wouldn't do it.

-Would you? Alan?

-Oh, dear.

-Soon enough, we'd arrived.

-While Alan was looking

-the other way...

-..I did my Superman impersonation

-in a phone kiosk.

-Ah!

-Hiya. Ready.

-Can you open that with that?

-Put it in, turn it and lift it.

-What?

-Here?

-Yes.

-I can't see a thing.

-Is it going to smell?

-Is it going to smell?

-

-No, it's just water.

-Ah!

-What's wrong?

-I thought it was a frog.

-It's a leaf.

-I'm good at this.

-OK?

-OK?

-

-Yeah, OK.

-Turn it that way and it'll open.

-This way?

-Wow. And again?

-Turn it further if you want.

-If some poop splashes on me,

-I'll never forgive you.

-It won't.

-Water. Water!

-The water tank is full!

-The tank is full!

-I'm nervous. OK.

-I shouldn't have been playing

-with your pipe.

-Watch yourself.

-There we go. Finished.

-The tank's full - what's next?

-I'll have to empty it now but you're

-too inexperienced to come with me.

-Especially with your constitution!

-We'll find a job for you

-in the yard.

-Thanks, Alan,

-you're one in a million.

-Yes, thanks, Alan! One in a million.

-Men!

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-Tonight, I'm working

-in the sewerage industry.

-After playing with Alan's pipe...

-..it's time to find out more

-about GEWS.

-When I'm on the toilet...

-..I go, pull the chain and amen.

-I've been here for two minutes

-and a lot more than that goes on.

-What exactly do you do?

-We're emptying a tank here,

-on top of Snowdon.

-We take the drain to the top of

-Snowdon two or three times a year.

-We often encounter blockages

-in the sewers.

-We're clearing a blockage in this

-photo on the banks of the Menai.

-Oh, wow.

-We insert cameras in the sewers...

-..to assess their condition

-and make sure they're clear.

-This line shows the previous level

-within the sewer.

-When we started unblocking it,

-it was half full of waste.

-All the waste ends up

-at the treatment plant.

-We're cleaning the tank here.

-What is this?

-Human waste.

-Human waste?

-Right, OK. He has a lovely job.

-Once it's cleaned, it's boiled.

-It's boiled...

-Urgh... It's boiled?

-It's boiled, yes.

-We then inject it

-into agricultural land.

-OK, so the land likes human waste!

-Yes.

-It's good for the land

-and free to the farmer.

-It's quite nice,

-apart from that bit in the middle.

-There's a lot of work

-from start to finish.

-Which stage will I be doing?

-There are toilets

-which need to be cleaned...

-..and a lot of work to be done...

-I'll be doing the sucking out.

-Us men don't like doing it.

-Us men don't like doing it.

-

-Fair enough, it's a woman's job.

-We know what we're doing.

-No problem, Dafydd.

-I've spoken to Dafydd but

-I still don't know what to expect.

-What to expect?

-Can you show me something?

-I'll show you some photos.

-The boys call these wells.

-They have to go down

-and clean the cack out of the wells.

-They send me these photos.

-Oh, my gosh.

-What is it?

-A toilet.

-What's the green stuff?

-The stuff you put down the toilet

-to make it smell sweeter...

-It's a bit late!

-Oh, my gosh. I couldn't do that.

-Absolutely no way.

-What a mess!

-If that's what lies ahead,

-it's not good.

-I've reached my destination.

-There's a travellers' camp

-behind these trees.

-My hair's stuck in my lipstick.

-The title on the lorry

-gives me an indication...

-..of the great job

-that's ahead of me.

-Here we go.

-Hello? Hello, I'm Lisa.

-Nice to meet you, Gareth.

-Thanks for taking off your glove.

-What's happening?

-We have three Portaloos

-to clean out.

-You'll have to get changed first.

-You're not suitably dressed.

-Go and change down the front

-and I'll get everything ready.

-OK, you're welcome.

-OK, you're far more

-suitably dressed.

-Let's get to work.

-The pump's starting.

-The pump's starting.

-

-Wait, wait!

-OK.

-The pump's going.

-The pump's going.

-

-Yuck!

-OK.

-Watch out.

-The stench is one thing.

-To make things worse, some pig

-has left his pants down there.

-I can't, genuine.

-We'll have to get them out.

-You'll have to get them out.

-I can't.

-SHE WRETCHES

-SHE SCREAMS

-It wasn't much.

-I've never, ever

-done anything like that.

-That won't do you any harm.

-That won't do you any harm.

-

-Stop it, please!

-In you go.

-Look at what you're doing.

-Look at what's coming up.

-Look down.

-Why?

-Why?

-

-If you don't look...

-Can you look,

-can you look instead of me?

-It's your job.

-Let me see. Step aside.

-I'm going to be sick.

-Are you coming to finish this job?

-I'm going to be sick, Gareth.

-Two minutes.

-Well done, well done. First class.

-Half a job is no good to anyone.

-I don't want to be here all day.

-If a job's worth doing,

-it's worth doing right.

-You started at the bottom.

-You start at the top and work down.

-OK?

-It's OK. More water here.

-You've missed all that.

-To be honest,

-I was shocked at how bad I was.

-I know that worse things lie ahead.

-These are just small Portaloos

-in North Wales.

-There's worse sewerage to be had.

-Yes indeed. I'm in London

-to put that theory to the test.

-I can only imagine the stench

-and sights awaiting me here.

-If three small Portaloos

-created a scene...

-..there's a drama ahead of me here.

-OK. Under my feet

-is the Fleet sewer.

-It's around six feet wide

-and nine feet tall.

-Today, I'm going to be cleaning it.

-This sewer is 180 years old.

-Almost every brick is original.

-That's all thanks

-to the hard work of Thames Water.

-One looks like a Doc Martin

-and the other one doesn't.

-That's OK, is it?

-That's OK, is it?

-

-That's fine.

-It's not about how you look.

-Oh, my God, this one's a bit...

-Are you doing a tap dance?

-Alright, OK.

-Suddenly, the reality

-of the situation strikes.

-I thought I'd be walking

-on a little platform...

-..but I have to walk

-right through it.

-I feel sick. I could burst out

-in tears at any point.

-If I think about it too much,

-I will...

-I can feel sick here,

-ready to come out at any second.

-Once I get my first gag...

-..I'll be sick on the steps

-on the way down.

-I genuinely, genuinely

-don't want to go down there at all.

-I really don't want to do it.

-My insides are shaking.

-SHE SCREAMS

-Please don't push.

-Oh, my gosh, I didn't expect that.

-Nice river, innit?

-It's the River Fleet.

-See, look, gaze in wonder.

-So much better than I thought.

-I was expecting, you know...

-Ooh, God, there's an animal there.

-That's alright, never mind.

-It's fine.

-It's fine -

-it's a lot better than I thought.

-I thought the smell

-would be much worse.

-It's champion. The walls are clean.

-The acoustics are lovely. # Lah! #

-Not one woman

-cleans the sewers in London.

-That's a fact.

-Thames Water treat 4bn litres

-of sewerage every day.

-You're used to it, you're a pro.

-Rob reckons...

-..that this is a pipe

-from someone's house.

-Someone, let's call her Sue...

-..is washing her dishes here.

-This looks quite clean to me.

-If someone's poops

-come floating down now, I'll scream.

-I'm going to close it.

-Urgh! Come and see this.

-That's another rogue, darling.

-Oh, so that's not poo.

-That's just mud.

-It's just mud and stuff

-off the road.

-If you have a wobbler,

-I've got some control over you.

-Is that a condom?

-Is that a condom?

-

-No, that's not.

-Do you see condoms?

-Do you see condoms?

-

-Yeah, yeah, occasionally.

-I'm standing where the tunnel

-splits. It comes from a big sewer.

-It flows into two lanes.

-Can you see the crevice

-in this wall?

-They can put large boards

-across here...

-..to redirect the water that way.

-They can then clean

-the bricks, the walls and the floor.

-People don't stop going

-to the toilet.

-They have to find a way to clean.

-After settling in,

-it was time to do some work.

-Rob's given me a job.

-He's given me a hammer.

-It has a long shaft!

-Dave, one of the other workers...

-..said, "Don't tickle it, whack it."

-Rob said, "Don't lumberjack it."

-So, about halfway between both!

-Rob's placed his foot there.

-I'll place mine above his

-to reach it.

-I'll give it a tap

-to try and close it.

-He said don't tap it

-like a sweet little Welsh girl.

-I'll hit it a little harder.

-OK, ready, Rob?

-Yeah, foot up, on top of mine.

-That's it, right.

-OK, are you ready for this?

-And again.

-Whoa! Can't get my fingers under it.

-Oh, sorry.

-Yay, perfect.

-Yay, perfect.

-

-Well done, Lisa. Lisa's flap!

-Lisa's flap!

-After having a flap named after me,

-I think I've left my mark.

-Time for some fresh air.

-I'm more excited coming out

-than I was going in.

-My insides are shaking.

-SHE SCREAMS

-Yes, I'm out.

-It's not elegant at all,

-but I'm out.

-I'm so relieved.

-I was so stressed going in.

-I didn't know what to expect.

-I was scared. I was shaking.

-But it was champion. Rob was

-so lovely, everyone was lovely.

-Sorry, Rob, are you waiting there?

-You carry on, dear, you carry on.

-You carry on, dear, you carry on.

-

-Do you want a hand? I'm a pro.

-You're quite the professional.

-Tell me about it.

-There we are, well done.

-Alright, dear. Well done, mate.

-You really looked after me.

-How did I do?

-From someone who was a gibbering

-idiot at nine o'clock...

-..to sort of now, yeah, brilliant.

-Can I come back?

-Most certainly, mate, any time.

-All over.

-I don't want to do

-any of these tasks again...

-..but I did enjoy myself.

-Despite the tears,

-the sewerage industry has been fine.

-I've shown that it's a place

-for men and women alike.

-What was all the fuss about?

-S4C Subtitles by Adnod Cyf.

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