Semi-Final Only Connect

Hello and welcome to the second semifinal of Only Connect,

spin-off of Only Collect, the programme that gave meaning

to the lives of obsessive hoarders everywhere.

Luckily, on this show, everyone is normal.

Let's meet the teams.

On my right,

Jack Johannes Alexander, a maths student who has bowled

a hat-trick in cricket and appeared in the video

of a noted heavy metal band.

Joe Crowther,

a maths and philosophy student with an interest in Japanese music

who has never left the UK.

And their captain,

Alasdair Middleton, a third maths student

with an interest in online gaming who has been inadvertently

dragged onstage during a Wheatus concert.

United by a yearning for York,

they are the Yorkers.

You won your quarterfinal against the Operational Researchers.

How have you been preparing for the semifinal?

We had some team bonding sessions

over Coldplay

and the films of Alex Cox.

Dark and brooding films of Alex Cox.

Your opponents will be on my left.

Barbara Thompson, who was a reserve member for Redcar Intersports

Bean Bag and Hoop team.

Matt Beatson, an IT consultant

who has spent two full weeks freezing Breton seaweed

using liquid nitrogen.

And their captain, Gerard Mackay,

an accountant who has a dog called Squirrel

and appeared on the front page of a newspaper tossing pancakes.

United by the miracle of movement,

they are the Wayfarers.

You won your quarterfinal against the Bookworms.

How do you feel about tonight's opposition?

Looks like something of a battle of the generations,

but we are hoping the impetuousness of youth trips them up,

although it clearly hasn't so far.

It's going to be a semifinal, which means we notch up

the difficulty a little bit since you were last here. Good luck.

Wayfarers, you won the toss,

so you will be going first. Which hieroglyph would you like?

-Two Reeds, please.

-Two Reeds. OK.

What is the connection between these fiendish clues?

Here is the first.

THEY CONFER IN WHISPERS

-Let's move on.

-Next, please.

-Gold, mercury...

-So it's things that go together.

Mercury, gold, platinum... No.

Next, please.

A tower? Upsilon.

-Oh, Epsilon...

-Epsilon and Upsilon.

Yeah. Next, please.

Two countries. Somalia. You can get two others...

-Three seconds...

-..by changing...

We think you can get...

No, you can't get two others by changing one letter. No.

-You can get Samoa and Mali.

-Oh.

I need an answer.

Tin is within platinum. Mali is within Somalia. And...

You have spotted the question. I am going to give you the point.

Names within names, that's absolutely right.

Tin is within platinum, psi is within upsilon,

Mali within Somalia

and the two indicates

that you are looking at two.

So, two people had a number one

in the UK, Manic Street Preachers and Cher, hidden within there.

So that is absolutely right.

Within the word you are seeing

is the word for something else that can be described the same way.

Yorkers, what would you like?

-Twisted Flax.

-Twisted Flax.

What is the connection between these picture clues?

Here is the first.

-Sydney.

-Next.

Is that two bobbies?

Next.

Belisha beacons. Are they named after Prime Ministers?

Robert Peel. Was Belisha a Prime Minister?

Next.

Is that an Anderson Shelter?

They are named after people?

THEY CONFER

Yeah, go, then.

Are they named after their inventors or their founders?

I'm afraid they are not.

I can offer a possible point to the Wayfarers, if you can tell me.

They are named after Cabinet members. Do you want a more...?

They are named after members of the Cabinet. Absolutely right.

You said, "Is that two bobbies?"

Bobbies or Peelers,

both named after Robert Peel, who founded the police force.

Viscount Sydney

gave his name to Sydney Harbour,

but actually it went via Sydney Cove.

He didn't invent the place Sydney.

Not invented by him. And Leslie Hore-Belisha,

he was a Minister of Transport.

And John Anderson and the air-raid shelter. But not all the inventors.

All Cabinet ministers.

OK, Wayfarers,

-which question would you like?

-Eye of Horus, please.

What is the connection between these clues?

Here is the first.

Next, please.

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Chiaroscuro, sfumato...

-Oh, they are other names for arts terms?

-Yes.

We think they are English translations

of Italian art terms.

They ARE translations

of terms in Italian art. Do you want to be any more specific in this case?

We think chiaroscuro is the light-dark

and sfumato, is that like smoke?

-That is like smoke. Very good. Any others?

-Changing. What's changing?

Or blending? No, we are not sure about them.

Cangiante. And blending would be Unione. In the Renaissance,

these are painting modes. So, Italian arts terms. Well done.

Back to you, Yorkers,

-for a choice.

-Lion.

-Lion. OK.

What is the connection between these clues?

Here is the first.

Next.

-Oh, it is Gold.

-Could it be Gold, then God?

-I don't think that will be a sequence.

-Godzilla.

Er...next.

Funk?

Got God and Funk.

Next.

-Snoop?

-Oh, yes, so it is.

-Snoop.

Er, you put Snoop in all of these.

In the battle of the generations, I thought this might go

the way of your team. Snoop goes before all of them.

Not to presume. You might have known, over there.

Barbara - Snoop Lion?

I think Snoop Lion is the same as Snoop Dogg.

It was just another incarnation of him.

They are all Snoop Dogg, but he is Snoop Lion when doing

-his reggae work. You were about to say that, Barbara(!)

-Yes!

When he is doing reggae, Snoop Lion. Snoopzilla?

When he was rampaging through downtown Tokyo.

No!

When he is making a funk album.

Snoopadelic for his club dates and, of course, Snoop Dogg,

that is the handle that started his rap career.

All incarnations of Snoop Dogg. Well done. Wayfarers,

-what would you like?

-Water, please.

Water.

Ah, the music question.

What connects these musical clues?

Here is the first.

GENTLE JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS

-Body Talk, is it, by Imagination?

-Next, please.

UP-TEMPO VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYS

Winter, by Vivaldi.

That's Winter, isn't it?

Next, please.

GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS

Theme from A Summer Place. It must be seasons.

We are going to try seasons.

They all contain seasons.

You'll need to be more specific.

Are they all summer?

Oh, they are all summer. They are all summer, are they?

They are all summer.

They are all seasons, but specifically, all summer.

You didn't need the last one - Summertime, Sidney Bechet. Well done.

Yorkers, there is one question left,

the Horned Viper. What is the connection between these clues?

Here is the first.

Next.

Could be a cricket player?

Next.

Are they just...? Cos they have got south, north and east in...

THEY CONFER

What is the...?

What is below each UK region? Oh, no, cos it is not all counties.

-Next one.

-Next.

THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER

Three seconds...

They all have compass directions in?

-Oh, no!

-Now...

-They are all...

So, like, East Anglia is the east of Anglia,

but there is no West Anglia.

And there is no North Africa, there is no East Virginia.

That is what it is.

They do not have directional counterparts.

There is a South Africa. There is not a country called West Africa,

East Africa, North Africa. They are places, but not a country.

There is not a county called Easthamptonshire and so on.

They do not have directional counterparts. Well done.

At the end of Round One,

the Yorkers have 2 points,

the Wayfarers have 5.

Sequences now. Having shown you

Round One questions that looked like a sequence, now they really are.

What comes fourth is what I want to know. Wayfarers,

-you can go first again. What would you like?

-Oh, Twisted Flax, please.

Twisted Flax. What would be fourth in this sequence? Here is the first.

Fourth declension - audio.

-Shall we try the third?

-OK.

Next, please.

Yes, so it's the first one. Amo, is it?

-Conjugations.

-First amo, is it first declension? No?

-Conjugation.

-Conjugation.

-But what is a first declension one? Amo?

-Yes.

We think 1st: Amo.

"First - for example, amo,"

is exactly what we had ourselves, and why?

They are the first, second, third and fourth conjugations of verbs.

Yes, well corrected, Barbara.

Conjugations rather than declensions in Latin. Latin verb conjugations.

Fourth, third and second and the example for the first conjugation

verb, amo, amas, amat, is the one most people know.

Back to you, Yorkers, for a choice.

-Horned Viper.

-The Horned Viper.

OK, what would come fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Next.

THEY CONFER

Er, next.

THEY CONFER

7/7?

THEY CONFER

I can't remember.

It could be 7/7, actually.

THEY CONFER

Try it.

Er, the July 7th bombings?

Not the answer, I'm afraid.

So Wayfarers have a chance of an extra point.

No, we're not going to get there, are we?

Now, Yorkers, I feel like you're in the right area

but you didn't give me an acceptable example.

The Battle Of The Golden Spurs happened on 11th July 1302.

Orangemen's Day,

the Ulster Protestant celebration, takes place on 12th July.

Live Aid was 13th July, 1985,

so something that happened on 14th July, for example,

birthday of the comedian David Mitchell,

that's what most people would say, but I see the question writer

has gone for the Storming Of The Bastille. 14th July was the key date.

Unlucky. So, you don't get the bonus, Wayfarers,

but you do get a choice. What would you like?

-I'll try Lion, please.

-Lion, OK.

What will be the fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

-Any ideas?

-No.

Next, please.

Next, please.

Any idea?

One and a half.

What used to be called 1:0 and now is called 0:1?

One and a half.

What's two and a half if part of the sequence?

-What are you saying?

-I think...

Pass.

Three seconds.

-Any idea?

-No.

Something was two and half.

Not a chance for a chat, what's your answer?

OK 1:0 was... No, 0:1...no.

No, no, no.

Yorkers, do you know this?

-2:1 was

-3. 2:1 was 3.

It was not.

Now, this is one where I would have thought the generational

advantage might go to your team. These are the old football pools.

It's the traditional classic scoring method for the pools.

1-0, you got one point, 0-1, one and a half.

Now you only get one point for an away win

but that's what it used to be.

0-0, no score draw was two, so some examples of a score draw was three.

Yorkers, what would you like?

-Eye Of Horus.

-The Eye Of Horus. OK.

What would come forth in this picture sequence?

What would you expect to see in the fourth picture? Here's the first.

Some flies.

Four Flies On Grey Velvet.

Er, next.

-What's that?

-Oh, no. Oh.

Er, next.

THEY CONFER

Is that, like, meant to be grey velvet or something like that?

Cos it could be Four Flies On Grey Velvet - it's a film.

Then, like, I don't know...

Something flying over a cuckoo's nest and a picture of a one?

Any idea what that might be?

-No, I can't think.

-Three seconds.

Something flying over a cuckoo's nest and a little one in the corner.

And why would that be?

Well, I thought the first one might be Four Flies On Grey Velvet,

-which is a film.

-Oh, I see. No!

No, it doesn't work as a sequence, I'm afraid.

So, Wayfarers, a chance for a bonus point.

We're going to go for a river of blood and one.

One and blood is the correct answer and why is that?

They are the first four of the ten plagues of Egypt in the Bible.

We are talking about the trials of Egypt, the plagues that were sent.

The fourth was flies,

although in some translations of the Torah I think wild animals.

Three, lice. Two, frogs.

First plague was blood.

So, Wayfarers, you get the bonus point

and a final choice this round.

-Two Reeds, please.

-Two Reeds.

A music sequence, what a treat!

What would you expect to see fourth? Or rather hear fourth.

The time starts now.

Well, it is rather good to be here

when Don Bradman comes in to bat his last test.

Now here's Hollies to bowl to him from the Vauxhall end.

Next, please.

# And the only time that you are satisfied

# Is with your feet in the wishing well. #

OK, next.

Next, please.

WOMAN SINGS CLASSICALLY IN GAELIC

Any idea at all?

Wishing Well. I don't know what this is.

Three seconds.

Go on, press.

-Any ideas? I haven't.

-None whatsoever.

-Have you?

-Nothing at all.

-Nothing at all.

OK, Yorkers, you going to have a go for a bonus point?

Um, some kind of homophone for one.

Oh, no, but why do you say that?

Well, the second one is by Free.

-The second one is by Free.

-Free, two, one.

-Well, yes, it is, so free, which sounds a bit like three...

-Yes.

OK, so what do you think the other ones are?

I can't remember, is it John Arlott commentating on Don Bradman

coming into bat in his final innings when he needed four runs?

Unfortunately for you the third clue was the 23rd Psalm,

not two at all. Again rather brilliant but not right.

So, John Arlott's cricket commentary was selected by John Major

-when he went on Desert Island Discs.

-Oh!

Wishing Well was selected by Tony Blair.

The 23rd Psalm in Gaelic by Gordon Brown.

So we wanted to hear something that was chosen by David Cameron

when he went on Desert Island Discs. Can you think of an example now?

Didn't he choose Ernie, The Fastest Milkman In The West?

He did choose Ernie, The Fastest Milkman In The West.

He chose something by The Smiths as well, but then Johnny Marr

said publicly, "You're not allowed to like The Smiths, I forbid you."

Ernie, The Fastest Milkman In The West,

that was the talked-about choice. Anyone know how that goes?

"You could hear the hoof beats pound as they raced across the ground

"and the clatter of the wheels as they spun round and round.

"He galloped into Market Street, his badge across his chest.

"His name was Ernie and he drove the fastest milk cart in the West."

Gerard, you are a phenomenon. That is absolutely right.

But nobody gets the points, unfortunately. Despite a lovely

performance from you and a very clever idea from you, no points.

You do get the last question, though, Water.

What would come forth in this sequence? Here is the first.

Never, it's repeated five times in King Lear.

Er, next.

-Techno, Techno, Techno.

-Yes.

-Liar, Liar, Castaways.

-Yes.

-OK.

-Liar, Castaways.

-Liar, Castaways.

For what reason?

It's things repeated five, four and three and two times,

so, Liar, Liar by The Castaways.

Exactly so.

We went with, "Infamy, infamy.

"They've all got it in for me."

Yes, "Never, never,

"never, never, never."

That's from Lear. "Techno, techno,

"techno," 2 Unlimited. "Education,

"education, education," Blair.

Things repeated five, four and three times.

Want to hear something repeated twice? Very well done.

That means at the end of Round Two,

the Yorkers have 5 points,

the Wayfarers have 9.

Let's up the ante now with a Connecting Wall and, Yorkers,

it'll be your turn to go first this time.

So, would you like Lion or Water?

-Water.

-OK, you have two and a half minutes

to solve the Water wall, starting now.

-Erm, sea battles.

-Midway, er...

Squares - Tiananmen, Times, Red...

BUZZ

There's... Supermarket food...

Clothes...labels.

-Esmara?

-Could be.

Three strikes, of course. Plenty of time.

-Tiananmen, Wenceslas, Times Square.

-Did you try that earlier?

-Yeah, I tried that already.

-Right.

Operating, Syntagma...

-Syntagma could be a square, I suppose.

-Operating system?

River...

Justice league, human league...

Human Times is not a thing, is it?

I reckon Syntagma could be the other square of that.

No, because we have no idea for the other ones.

What would that make the other ones?

Water...

They don't seem like they go... Oh, no, sorry.

-Yeah, it probably will be right.

-Water league, operating, erm...

Is there something in them?

No.

Like genres of music?

No.

Syntagma... Shall we try that?

Syntagma, Times...

BUZZ

You've got a minute left and two goes.

Take Times out.

That's it, you've solved the wall. Very well done.

So that's four points for the groups. What about the connections?

The top blue group starting Lepanto.

They're all naval battles.

They're all naval battles.

And the green group starting Esmara?

They're supermarket clothes lines.

Supermarket clothing brands is right.

And the next pink or purple group starting Syntagma?

They're all squares.

Yes, they are. Syntagma Square, as you know, is in Athens.

All squares around the world.

And the last light-blue group, League, Water, Times, Operating?

-Er, tables.

-I can't give you long.

You can follow them all with table.

You found that at the last minute. Well done.

So four more points for the connections.

I will give you a bonus two points for getting it all right.

That's the maximum of ten.

Let's bring back the Wayfarers now, give them the other Connecting Wall,

the Lion wall, and see what they can do about solving it.

You have two and a half minutes, of course. Starting now.

Dante, Millennium...

-Is there a Vasco da Gama bridge?

-Oh, bridge.

There is a Charles Bridge, as well.

-Golden Gate Bridge.

-Humber Bridge.

BUZZ

-Tower Bridge.

-There's lots of bridges.

Vauxhall...

Volkswagen Polo, Volkswagen Triumph...

Volkswagen... Was there Singer at one time?

Humber? That's a...

BUZZ

We've got brands of car. Wolseley, Triumph and Humber...

Singer? Yes.

So...

-That's a palindrome. Are there any others?

-No.

-No, there aren't.

We've got pool, an anagram of...

Let's try and get these bridges out the way.

So you've got Millennium...

Tower...

-Golden Gate...

-BUZZ

It's definitely bridges.

Charles Bridge...

Millennium...

Charles, Tower...

BUZZ

Millennium, Golden Gate, Vasco da Gama, Charles.

BUZZ

Buffalo.

Tower, Charles, Golden Gate?

BUZZ

What about The Divine Comedy?

Yeah, what's The Divine Comedy got to do with anything else?

-The group or...

-Oh, Divine Comedy...

I don't see anything else. No.

You've got a minute left.

Tower or tow-er?

BUZZ

BUZZ

BUZZ

BUZZ

It's going to come back and haunt us now. Buffalo Bill...

What's the Great Belt? It's part of Orion's... Apart from that...

-Great Belt...

-Great Belt, Golden Gate, The Divine Comedy...

-BUZZ

-No.

I can't even think what MaddAddam was a part of.

Vasco da Gama, MaddAddam...

Sprawl...

BUZZ Ten seconds.

Polo mint, Millennium mint, Great Belt mint, Table mint...

No, that's it, the time's up and the wall has frozen,

but you've found a group. I'll give you another point for the connection.

Humber, Singer, Wolseley, Triumph.

They're all makes of...

They're all former UK brands of car manufacturers.

Former British car marques. That's exactly what they are.

And I will give you points

for the connections in the groups you didn't find,

so let's resolve the wall.

That's what it should've looked like.

Millennium, MaddAddam, Sprawl, The Divine Comedy.

Literary sequences of three. Literary trilogies.

-They are literary trilogies.

-Good!

I didn't think you knew that at all

and then you somehow stumbled into it. They absolutely are.

The Divine Comedy, the Dante. The Millennium trilogy,

that's the Stieg Larsson. MaddAddam, do you know what that is?

I don't know what the middle two are at all, so...

It's Margaret Atwood and Sprawl is William Gibson - Neuromancer,

Count Zero, Mona Lisa Overdrive.

All literary trilogies.

And the pink, or purple, group -

Charles, Vasco da Gama, Golden Gate, Great Belt?

-They'll all bridges.

-They're the bridges. Yes, it's horrible.

There's a lot of bridges on that wall.

Those are the four you wanted.

And the last light-blue group - Buffalo, Table, Polo, Tower.

-Can all be preceded by water.

-Yes, they can.

That is the word one. Water buffalo, water table, water polo, water tower.

You only found one group, but four full points for the connections.

That's a total of five. Let's have a look at the scores.

The Wayfarers have 14 points, the Yorkers have 15 points.

So, that last place in the final will be decided by the Missing Vowels

round. You know how it works. Fingers on buzzers, teams.

The first group are all...

Wayfarers.

-King Juan Carlos of Spain.

-Correct.

Yorkers.

-Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands.

-Correct.

Wayfarers.

-King Zog of Albania.

-Correct.

Yorkers.

-Prince Rainier of Monaco.

-Yes, it is.

Next category...

Yorkers.

-Crispin and cobblers.

-Correct.

Wayfarers.

-Luke and doctors.

-Correct.

Wayfarers.

-Francis of Assisi and animal welfare.

-Correct.

Wayfarers.

Valentine and... Sorry, no.

No, that's not right. Yorkers, do you know?

-Oh...

-Too long.

It's Valentine and beekeeping.

Next category...

Wayfarers.

-"When shall we three meet again?"

-Correct.

Wayfarers.

-"If music be the food of love, play on."

-Correct.

Yorkers.

-"Now is the winter of our discontent."

-Correct.

Wayfarers. BELL

You didn't complete your answer before the bell went off,

so I can't take it, but you won't lose a point.

It would have been, "Two households both alike in dignity,"

from Romeo and Juliet,

but the quiz is over and looking at the final scores,

the Yorkers have 19 points,

the Wayfarers have 19 points!

They aren't the final scores!

We've got a tie-break again!

We had this in the last semifinal.

It's very tense.

Let me remind you, teams, in a tie-break situation,

it's captains only. Only the captains may buzz and respond.

If you buzz in with the right answer,

you win, you're through to the final.

If you buzz in with the wrong answer, you're out,

the other team wins by default. So carefully now, captains.

Fingers on buzzers. I won't tell you the category.

Here's the clue...

-Wayfarers.

-Photo finish.

Is the right answer!

And in that photo finish, Gerard,

you take your team through to the final.

Very well done, but very well done to you too, Yorkers.

Obviously, you couldn't get closer.

We had this last week, we've got it again. Very, very close, teams.

Brilliant quizzers, all of you.

You just miss out, but thank you for coming.

Another heated night and that's it,

it is the red carpet for the Wayfarers,

it's curtains for the Yorkers.

I don't really know why the expression is that way round.

Our question-setters, for example, would much prefer the curtains.

Natural light simply doesn't agree with them. Goodbye.