Semi-Final Only Connect

Tonight, Only Connect joins the 200 club.

What does that sentence even mean?

There is no such club, and even if there were, how could a quiz join it?

The Garrick doesn't even admit women.

But it is a special night,

and we have a special cake because it is our 200th episode,

which, human society, being a culture obsessed with base ten,

has deemed significant.

Something to do with the hands, apparently.

If we all had 12 fingers it would be a different story.

Speaking of which, let's meet the teams.

On my right -

Mick Hodgkin, a journalist and crossword compiler,

who inherited a belt previously owned by Dylan Thomas,

which he has since lost.

John Tozer, a data scientist and keen gardener,

who was born on the day that Gatwick Airport opened.

And their captain, Richard Heald, an IT consultant and enthusiastic skier,

whose great-grandmother was born on the same day as Adolf Hitler.

All wowed by wordplay, they are the Cluesmiths.

Welcome to the 200th episode.

Have you been watching since our early days,

or did you jump on the bandwagon at BBC Two?

No, we've certainly been watching since the early days.

In fact, before the first show went to air,

in the years running up to it, we used to spend our Monday evenings

just staring at a blank TV screen just waiting for it to happen.

Well, you are very welcome.

You are facing tonight, on my left -

Tessa North, an American Studies graduate who has

almost touched Michael Moore's Oscar.

Pete Sorel-Cameron, an actor and musician

who came second in a Kenneth Williams impersonation contest,

held at midnight in a Norwich pub.

And their captain, Richard Aubrey, a philosophy and theology graduate

who stole a cup of Frank Bruno's saliva from the Foreign Office.

United by their collective pluck, they are the String Section.

How are you feeling about the 200th episode?

Are you overwhelmed by the pageantry?

I honestly can't think

whether I'm more excited about the semifinal or the special episode.

I mean, if you wanted an Only Connect sequence,

we are talking, sort of, Royal Wedding,

Olympic opening ceremony, Diamond Jubilee...

I mean, exactly. Just look at this cake.

It nearly wobbles as much as the real studio.

I mean, this is no expense spared.

Right, on with the semifinal.

Cluesmiths, you won the toss. You'll be going first.

The questions are going to be very difficult, I must tell you that.

Which one would you like to start with?

-Lion, please.

-Lion.

OK, What is the connection between

these apparently random clues?

Here's the first.

Next.

"No special lighting."

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

-Shall we have one more?

-Yeah.

Next, please.

-Any idea?

-No.

-Shall we go for the fourth?

-Yeah.

Next.

Three seconds.

Is it amongst the rules

for Only Connect?

Good guess, but no. String Section,

do you want to have a guess?

So it's...

Rules for filming inside the TARDIS?

I can't give you too long.

Rules for filming inside the TARDIS, apparently.

That's not it, either,

but you're both close.

It's Dogme.

-Do you know Dogme?

-Oh, yes.

Dogme cinema.

Weird sort of film movement

that had various rules.

I think, basically, the guiding

principle is anything that might

seem fun or gripping,

any kind of narrative you can follow.

I mean, you were close with rules for

Only Connect, but no.

Dogme film-making.

So, no bonus points. String Section, do you want to choose a question?

I think we'll go for Two Reeds,

which has served us well in the past.

Oh, that's a music question.

What will the clues you're about

to hear have in common?

Here's the first.

MUSIC: Petite Messe Solennelle by Gioachino Rossini

Next, please.

MUSIC: Eine Kleine Nachtmusik by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

MUSIC: Dream A Little Dream Of Me by The Mamas And The Papas

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

MUSIC: Reet Petite by Jackie Wilson

Three seconds.

Things that are nocturnal.

Doesn't apply to all the clues,

I'm afraid. So Cluesmiths,

-you have the chance of a bonus point.

-Is it to do with pizzas?

Oh, pizzas.

No, I don't think any of them

are anything to do with pizzas.

What are you thinking of?

We're thinking of The Four Seasons.

Ah, No.

I mean, the last one, Reet Petit-zza.

Reet Petite,

Dream A Little Dream Of Me,

Eine Kleine Nachtmusik,

and the Petite Messe Solennelle.

Little or petite in the title.

All right, no bonus points, Cluesmiths,

but you have another question.

Eye of Horus, please.

The Eye of Horus.

What do these clues have in common?

Here's the first.

Next.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

-Shall we have one more?

-Yeah.

-Next.

"Judas Priest."

How about songs? That was a song.

Bob Dylan, yeah.

-Shall we go for that?

-Yeah.

Yeah, go for it.

-Is it Bob Dylan songs?

-Yes, it is.

They all appear in the titles

of Bob Dylan songs. Very well done.

Can you tell me

the names of the songs?

Er, no.

Judas Priest is at the end

of one of the titles.

It's The Ballad Of Frankie Lee

And Judas Priest.

Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues.

Lily, Rosemary

And The Jack Of Hearts,

and you didn't need to see Last Thoughts On Woody Guthrie.

Yes, all appear in Bob Dylan titles.

Well done.

String Section, what would you like?

-Water, please, Victoria.

-OK.

What do these clues have in common?

Here's the first.

OK. Next, please.

I've seen this in something but I can't work it out.

Another. Next, please.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

Last one, please.

Three seconds.

Literal translations of various foodstuffs.

Not the answer, I'm afraid.

So, Cluesmiths,

another chance for a bonus.

Are they represented

by the letter B?

No, they're not, they're not.

Now, it is...

You do need to translate it.

They're artists, aren't they?

They're Italian Renaissance painters.

If you translated them into Italian -

Bird - Uccello, Paolo Uccello.

Little Dyer - Tintoretto.

Fra Angelico - Angelic Brother,

and Little Barrel - Botticelli.

Yes, it was a translation one,

but too late you spotted it

was painters. Unlucky.

What would you like now, Cluesmiths?

-Horned Viper, please.

-Horned Viper.

What is the connection between these picture clues?

Here's the first.

Is that Irene Handl?

Next, please.

Is it Yuri Gagarin, or...?

No, it's the space station.

Next, please.

Who brings John The Baptist's head on a plate?

It's Salome, isn't it?

Salome, OK.

-Another one.

-One more. Next, please.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

It's Bolivia.

Three seconds.

No, that's it, I'm afraid.

Your time's up. Bonus opportunity

again for you, String Section.

What could it possibly be?

Oscar Wilde.

-Ah, you're thinking of Salome.

-Yeah.

Clue three. No.

Here's the thing about Salome.

Her name is derived from the

Hebrew word Shalom.

We're looking at La Paz at the end there.

The Mir Space Station.

I got that just after, again,

just after we passed it over.

What is it?

Peace. They're all peace.

Irene Handl in the first clue,

Irene - Greek for peace.

Their names all mean peace.

So, no bonuses, String Section.

But there is one more question,

one last chance to get some points this round. The Twisted Flax.

What is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

OK. Next, please.

Oh, yeah.

They would be next to each other.

Next, please.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

Final one, please.

Two seconds.

Ah. Oh, sorry.

Yes, the first one in full contains the letters of the second.

Jonah has Nahum in it.

Arsenic has Ni in it.

Florida has ID in it.

Say it more clearly.

What's going on with the letters?

The end of the first word

is the beginning of the second.

That's what is overlapping,

that's what's contained.

It's the last letters.

So Sweden, the last letters, DEN,

start Denmark.

The Book of Jonah ends NAH,

starts the Book of Nahum.

Florida, Idaho. And arsenic and nickel.

Yes, the words overlap

into the next thing.

Well done.

At the end of Round One,

the String Section have one point,

the Cluesmiths have two.

Speaking of overlapping into the next thing,

we're onto the Sequences Round.

That's Round Two - What comes fourth in a sequence?

It's probably going to be as horrible as the round before, except worse.

So, Cluesmiths, you get to go first

again, what would you like?

Lion again, please.

Lion again. OK, what would come fourth in this sequence?

Here is the first.

Next.

Definitely elements...

THEY MURMUR AMONGST THEMSELVES

-One more.

-Next, please.

THEY MURMUR AMONGST THEMSELVES

Three seconds.

Is it CO - C and O?

Not the answer, I'm afraid.

So, String Section, can you get it?

N and Rh.

Oh, I can hear my heart breaking.

You are so close, but no.

-I got the wrong symbol for Rhenium.

-You've got the wrong symbol

-for Rhenium.

-Yes.

-It is N and Re.

That is so brilliant, I wish

I could give you points but I can't.

Talk me through the sequence.

It is the Tom Lehrer Elements song.

That's what it is. It is the Tom Lehrer song,

written with symbols

so there's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium

and hydrogen and oxygen

and nitrogen and rhenium.

You're very clever but I cannot give

you points, I'm sorry.

I can offer you a question, though.

That may not be something you want

but which would you like?

-Let's try again with Two Reeds, please.

-Two Reeds, OK.

What would come fourth in this sequence?

Here is the first.

THEY MURMUR AMONGST THEMSELVES

Erm, next.

Next, please.

20. Anything representing 20.

Not the answer, I'm afraid.

So, Cluesmiths,

-do you want to have a go?

-Is it the card game Vingt-et-un, for example?

Would be an acceptable answer,

as would Adele's second album,

which is what we went for.

-Why is that?

-21. We think you're halving each time.

That is absolutely right.

Do you know how many pips

are in a standard domino set?

-Erm...

-You could work it out.

-96.

-168.

-168.

-168.

And a Uranus year expressed

in Earth years would be 84.

Answer to the ultimate question - 42 - so we are halving each time.

I mean, technically, the Uranus year

is 84.02 years.

Obviously, I would have accepted

15.129 but it is not the final,

so, you know, rounding it to 21

is an acceptable answer, well done.

So, a bonus point to you, Cluesmiths,

-and your choice.

-Water, please.

Water. OK, what would come fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

THEY MURMUR AMONGST THEMSELVES

Next, please.

What does pelagic mean, do you know?

Is it about geology?

Erm, one more, please - next.

Three seconds.

What are we going for?

-Erm...

-Dermo, dermo.

-Dermopelagic?

Not it, I'm afraid,

so a bonus opportunity again.

Arcopelagic?

That's not it, either.

It's the layers of the ocean

and we are going up to the surface,

you know, the first layers would be

the Epipelagic...

..would be the top layer,

that is where Only Connect wizards

go surfing.

I'm joking, they don't go surfing.

But Epipelagic would be

the right terminology.

String Section, what can I offer you?

The Twisted Flax, please.

The Twisted Flax. OK, what would come fourth in this sequence?

Here is the first.

THEY WHISPER AMONGST THEMSELVES

Next, please.

Next, please.

"In the beginning", 14?

I'm going to accept that answer.

The sequence that we had planned

was the shortest verses

in the New Testament, getting shorter,

and the shortest verse, of course -

"Jesus wept" with 9 in brackets.

But, if you created

quotes from the Bible

going downwards, I simply need

some words from the Bible

that's 14 letters.

I mean, that is a sequence,

I simply am going to have to give you

the points there, well done.

OK, Cluesmiths, what would you like?

-Eye of Horus, please.

-The Eye of Horus.

OK, these are going to be picture clues.

What would you expect to see in the fourth picture?

Here's the first.

THEY MURMUR AMONGST THEMSELVES

Next.

THEY MURMUR AMONGST THEMSELVES

Is it Cleves?

Everyone's warming up.

You're going to get three points

for coming in after two clues.

It is a picture of the German town

Kleve, or Cleves in English.

What is the sequence?

It is Aragon...is the Spanish province there,

-and then Boleyn Road, the West Ham ground...

-The Boleyn Ground, yes.

The Boleyn Ground, rather.

Seymour Skinner.

And the next wife of Henry VIII,

of course, Anne of Cleves,

I wanted to hear -

a depiction of Cleves. Well done.

OK, String Section, one more question - the Horned Viper.

Ah, a music sequence,

what a treat for everybody.

OK, you're going to be hearing the clues.

I want to know what will come fourth. The first one is coming in now.

# I'd like to be a busy busy bee

# Being just as busy as a bee can be

-# Flying all around the wild hedgerows...#

-Next, please.

# Je n'ai besoin de personne

# En Harley Davidson

# Je ne reconnais plus personne... #

Next, please.

# Come on baby

# Let's do the twist

# Come on baby

# Let's do the twist

# Take me by my little hand

# And go like this.

# Twist baby... #

Two seconds.

Desmond Dekker. Anything by Desmond Dekker.

Would be an acceptable answer.

What is the sequence?

Whoever the first two are, they are an AA and a BB.

-They're Arthur Askey and Brigitte Bardot.

-Right.

And then Chubby Checker.

You recognised Chubby Checker

so you know we're going through

the alphabet, so we want DD - Desmond Dekker. The Israelites.

Did a cover of

You Can Get It If You Really Want,

originally by Jimmy Cliff.

Everyone know

You Can Get It If You Really Want?

I think it seems like a lovely

anthem as we head to the final.

One, two, three.

-ALL:

-# You can get it

# if you really want

# You can get it if you really want

# But you must try. #

Exactly so. Well done, everybody.

That means, at the end of Round Two,

the String Section have five points,

the Cluesmiths have six.

Time now for a nasty, 200-foot

semifinal Connecting Wall.

String Section, you get to go first this time,

would you like Lion or Water?

-Can we have the Lion Wall, please?

-OK.

I mean, they're both horrible so it doesn't take much thought,

you have two-and-a-half minutes to solve this Wall,

starting now.

That's an Ivy League college, isn't it?

-They're Ivy League schools, colleges.

-Really? OK.

THEY MURMUR AMONGST THEMSELVES

Are these parts of the mouth?

-Seems like it.

-Yeah, mandible...

Or the face as a whole?

OK, what have else have we got?

-They are places...

-Arthur Wellesley,

Duke of Wellington.

Crown and temple sound like...

Well, they're obviously both heads

- crown and temple.

Oh... They are for your paint,

-aren't they?

-Oh, yeah.

One, two, three and that one.

BUZZ

Maybe it is just stuff on your face

or head?

BUZZ

OK, parts of the head.

BUZZ

-That includes mandible?

-Yeah.

OK, so we have too many of those.

You can have a photo finish.

-You can have a...

-Yeah.

You can have a nose job.

You can have a...

Oh, these are things you do

to your teeth - a crown, a finish...

You're halfway through the time.

THEY TALK AMONGST THEMSELVES

BUZZ

BUZZ

BUZZ

BUZZ

Three strikes, now.

OK, we've taken out Temple,

we've got...

THEY TALK INDISTINCTLY

Try one, two, three, four.

BUZZ

-One, two, three, four.

-BUZZ

No, don't press it yet.

We've done that one.

Ten seconds.

Shall we just go for it?

-BOTH:

-Yeah, go for it.

Not it, I'm afraid

so that is your three strikes. The Wall has frozen.

What about the connections? The first blue group?

Are they Ivy League colleges? Women's colleges?

I'm afraid I have to take your first answer. They aren't Ivy League

colleges. They are women's colleges known, in fact, as the Seven Sisters

colleges, that is what they are, but Ivy League, they aren't, sorry.

Lamb, Temple, Primrose, Wellesley.

Not a great deal of confidence - Arthur.

That is not it. Arthur Wellesley

was the first Duke of Wellington.

No, they are 19th century Prime Ministers

but they are known by their aristocratic titles.

William Lamb - Viscount Melbourne.

Henry Temple - who is that?

Liverpool?

It's Lord Palmerston, and then we've got Archibald Primrose,

the Earl of Rosebery. The Duke of Wellington there, so Prime Ministers.

You can still get points for the connections in the groups

you didn't find, so let's resolve the Wall.

There is the pink or purple group - Occiput, Crown, Scalp, Mandible.

Parts of the head.

They are all parts of the head.

And the last, light-blue group, starting Nose...

-Is it wine-tasting?

-...in wine-tasting, isn't it?

They're all terms from wine-tasting.

Nose, Mid-palate, Chewy and Finish.

So, two points for the groups that you found

and two for the connections - that is a total of four.

Let's bring in the Cluesmiths now and give them another horrible

Connecting Wall and see how far they get with solving it.

It'll be the Water Wall for you, Cluesmiths.

You have two-and-a-half minutes to solve it, starting now.

THEY MURMUR AMONGST THEMSELVES

It's got to be those two,

got to be those two.

OK, try Philips.

-Hex.

-Hex, yeah,

BUZZ

BUZZ

BUZZ

BUZZ

BUZZ

THEY MURMUR INDISTINCTLY

You've got a minute left.

BUZZ

Could be that one.

Hang on, Saxon, Dane.

BUZZ

Saxon, Dane, Roman and erm...

..Angle.

Three strikes, now.

Philips?

What's the other group? Robertson,

-ECM...

-Pozidriv...

Is ECM a screwdriver?

Hex.

That is definitely a screwdriver.

30 seconds.

Hyperion...

-Hyperion, Philips...

-Yeah.

Decca...

BUZZ

Hyperion, Philips and Decca...

-..and Hex...

-ECM, ECM.

That's it, you've solved them all,

with seconds in hand.

Right, what about the connections? The dark-blue group, starting Graham.

They are TV evangelists - American.

They are Televangelists, yes.

Jerry Falwell, my favourite.

He didn't like the Teletubbies cos he thought Tinky Winky was gay.

The green group, starting Naxos?

Anagrams of groups that have settled Britain, at different points.

Saxon, Angle, Roman, Dane.

You saw a couple of them early, went away and came back at the end.

Invaders or settlers of the British Isles.

And the dark-pink group, starting ECM?

I think they're computer or software companies?

They are not, I'm afraid. You did very well to spot them.

Record companies?

They are classical labels. Have to take the first answer, of course,

so that's a no, but classical record labels.

And the light-blue group, starting Slot.

They are all screwdrivers.

Screwdrivers. They correspond with screw recesses.

But you found all four groups

and three points for the connections, that is a total of seven.

Let's have a look at the overall scores.

Missing Vowels, now, teams.

That is how we will decide who makes the final.

So, fingers on buzzers.

The first group are all -

-String Section.

-Scouting For Girls.

Correct.

-Cluesmiths.

-Rita Ora.

Correct.

-String Section.

-Enya.

Not a number one in the 2010s,

I'm afraid. Cluesmiths, do you know?

That is too long, it is Ne-Yo.

Next clue.

-String Section.

-Rihanna.

Correct.

Next category -

-String Section.

-Honshu.

Correct.

-String Section.

-Shikake.

Not a Japanese island.

Cluesmiths, do you know?

It is Shikoku. Next clue.

-Cluesmiths?

-Okinawa.

Correct.

-String Section.

-Hokkaido.

Correct.

Next category -

-String Section.

-Juventus.

Correct.

-Cluesmiths.

-Verdensa.

Not an Italian football team.

-String Section, do you know?

-Udensa.

That is not it either.

Udinese. Next clue.

-String Section.

-Internazionale.

Correct.

-String Section.

-Fiorentina.

Correct.

Next category -

END OF ROUND JINGLE

But you can't give me the answer -

Aquae Sulis and Bath -

because the bell has gone

even as I was giving

the final category.

And looking at the scores,

I can tell you that the Cluesmiths

have 14.

The String Section have...

14.

It is a tie-break

in our 200th episode, what tension.

Let me remind you, teams,

of the tie-break rules.

There will be one final

Missing Vowels clue. Captains only.

If you buzz in

and give the wrong answer,

by default,

you lose and the other team wins.

So, fingers on buzzers.

The tie-break clue is coming in...

..now.

-String Section.

-Fastest finger first.

It's the right answer.

String Section, with that answer,

you are through to the finals.

Many congratulations.

Cluesmiths, I mean, obviously,

you could not have got closer.

I'm sorry you didn't get through.

Well done over there,

a very heated night.

But that is it, that concludes our special 200th episode.

Thank you very much for watching. We are going off to the green room

now to relax and enjoy an even bigger cake, with 148 on it.

Of course, that is 200 in base 12, but the production manager

assures me Michael Portillo will not be jumping out of it.

I can only hope that means he has been sedated.

Goodbye.