Wayfarers v Bookworms Only Connect

Hello and welcome to Only Connect,

the show on which we invite daring and open-minded threesomes

to demonstrate on camera just how flexible they are.

Stripped off and ready for action tonight,

speaking metaphorically, thank God, are...

on my right, Barbara Thompson, a retired NHS secretary

who hails from Teesside and enjoys reading crime fiction,

modern fiction and reference books.

Matt Beatson,

an IT consultant who has played

chess beneath the Eiffel Tower

and broke his collarbone

while skateboarding on a skateboard ramp without his skateboard.

And their captain, Gerard Mackay,

a nocturnal accountant who has had letters published

in the Daily Mail, the Daily Express and The Guardian.

The most memorable of which detailed the number of ways there are

to make change from a pound.

United by a weakness for walking,

they are the Wayfarers.

Gerard, you won your first heat against the Bookworms,

you lost to the String Section

and then beat the Builders to get to these quarterfinals.

What have you learned from the experience so far?

I've learned two things -

don't make cocky comments

about beating the opposing team

and then lose

and getting this far is like a marathon,

but with a marathon, you only have to go through one wall.

Well, you've done very well to get this far. Congratulations.

Also getting this far, your opponents tonight are, on my left,

Katy Bateman, a psychology graduate who has worked as a supermarket

greeter, a call centre worker, a classroom assistant,

a Bangor University tour guide and has completed work experience

at an archaeological dig.

Tristram Cole,

a former intelligence analyst

who has had a standoff with Philip Roth in a Sheffield doorway.

And their captain, Dave Knapp,

an Oxford engineering graduate who has played draughts

in a ruined French abbey and can count to 1,023 on his fingers.

United by a taste for tomes,

they are the Bookworms.

Dave, you lost your first game to the Wayfarers,

then you won against the Headliners and the Athenians.

So you're meeting the Wayfarers again.

Any fresh tactics for tonight's game?

I've been practising

throwing spanners,

so I can literally throw a spanner in their works.

I mean, is that a threat? We'll gloss over it.

We'll gloss over that.

Straight on with the quiz as quickly as possible.

Wayfarers, you won the toss.

You'll be going first.

Please choose an Egyptian hieroglyph.

-Two Reeds, please.

-Two Reeds.

OK, what is the connection between

these clues? Here's the first.

Next, please.

Next, please.

"Evening" with two apostrophes.

Next, please.

Any ideas whatsoever?

I haven't got a clue.

Three seconds.

BELL RINGS

Idea?

Missing capitals. No.

Not that, I'm afraid.

So, there's a possible bonus

opportunity for the Bookworms.

Opening lines to plays.

I mean, I would so love

to see the play which has clue one

as its opening line, but no, they are not.

Let me read them aloud to you and see if that helps.

SHE READS EACH CLUE

They're in iambic pentameter.

Ah! Da-da, da-da, da-da...

Like the poetry of Shakespeare. You know, the last one,

it is Orsino from Twelfth Night,

"If music be the food of love, play on.

"Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,

"The appetite may sicken, and so die."

They are all in iambic pentameter. All have five beats.

Whether or not the music question is the Twisted Flax, by the way,

it remains to be seen.

No points there. Bookworms, are you brave enough

to go for it and find out?

What the hell.

Yeah, Twisted Flax, please.

It's not the music question. OK.

Ooh! It's the picture question.

Interesting. OK, you'll be seeing some picture clues.

What do they have in common? Here's the first.

THEY TALK QUIETLY

Next, please.

That's an information sign, I think.

Or perhaps...

Important information. It could be on something.

-Yeah, but we need...

-We need more.

Next, please.

I think this could be...

THEY TALK QUIETLY

Next, please.

Three seconds.

No, that's it. Your time's up.

And that's a frozen one, so a bonus

chance for you now, Wayfarers.

I have no idea. Nope.

They're known as

Creative Commons licences.

Do you know it now? They're signs

that you're not keeping the full

copyright in your work.

Other people are allowed to use it.

So, you know, a C in a circle

means copyright.

Even if that isn't there, it's implied.

But that little equal sign there,

that means others may use your work,

but they can't incorporate it into something new.

The second one means that

people can use your work

if they say that it's yours.

The third one, they can use your work

as long as what they then make

can be used by others.

And the last one, they can use

your work if they

don't profit from it.

It's almost an anti-copyright symbol that means,

"No. Help yourselves under certain circumstances."

No bonus points, Wayfarers,

but you might choose a question.

What would you like?

-Horned Viper, please.

-OK.

MUSIC NOTE CHIMES

Ah, yes, that wouldn't have worked

as an iambic pentameter.

What do these clues have in common?

Here's the first.

# My blood runs cold My memory has just been... #

J Geils Band, Centrefold.

OK, next.

# Keep on running... #

-Spencer Davis.

-# Keep on hiding. #

Next, please.

# And if you said, "This life ain't good enough..." #

Is the band, the name of the person in the band?

-BELL RINGS

-We think they're all by bands

that have a name of the band in the name.

SHE INHALES SHARPLY

I'm going to need you to tell me something else.

Tonight, we're playing for a place in the semifinals.

I want to hear something specific.

Is it the drummer or the...? No. Spencer Davis, what did he play?

He was a guitarist, I think.

So, they're all named after the guitarist in the band.

The bands are all

named after the guitarist.

Very well done. You didn't need to hear Jump, Van Halen

at the end there. What did we hear?

Well, we heard Centrefold by the J Geils Band.

Yeah, that's it. Named after the guitarist

John Warren Geils, his name was.

-Then we heard Spencer Davis Group and Keep On Running.

-Mm-hm.

Then we heard... Ooh, what's that? Santana, it sounded like.

-What was it?

-It was Smooth, it was.

But, yes, Santana named after

the guitarist Carlos Santana.

Well done. All bands named after the

guitarist, so you have two points.

Bookworms, what would you like?

Go with the Lion, please.

The Lion, OK.

What would connect these

little clues? Here's the first.

-General Tom Thumb.

-Who's he?

A small person...

Next, please.

Maybe a boxer or something.

He fought Muhammad Ali. I don't know.

-THEY WHISPER

-Next, please.

THEY WHISPER

I don't know. Shall we go next? Next, please.

Are they all called Charles? First name Charles?

-All right.

-BELL RINGS

Did they have the first name Charles?

Yes, they did.

I think you spotted that, Katy.

Was it just Lewis Carroll that gave it away?

I was thinking possibly on Chuck Berry,

-but then Lewis Carroll confirmed it.

-That's it. He was Charles Dodgson.

Chuck Berry, of course, was Charles, Charles "Sonny" Liston

and General Tom Thumb,

he was one of the circus performers with PT Barnum,

Charles Sherwood Stratton.

So, well done. That's a point to you.

And, Wayfarers, what would you like?

-Eye of Horus, please.

-Eye of Horus.

OK, what is the connection?

Here's your first clue.

No. Next? Next, please.

No idea. Next, please.

-Any idea what the split's to do with?

-No.

Next, please.

-They've all got...

-You can make another country.

-Yeah.

BELL RINGS

I was going to say you can make another country by putting

-letters in the gap.

-Are you going to say that?

Yes, I am going to say that.

If you do say that, you will be correct.

Indonesia, South Sudan,

Malawi, Australia. Yes.

That's absolutely right.

You can put letters into the gap to

create the name of another country.

-Yes.

-Well done.

Bookworms, there is one question

left. It's Water.

What is the connection between

these clues? Here's the first.

-Pig.

-Could be anything, couldn't it?

Next, please.

Deer.

THEY WHISPER

Next, please.

THEY WHISPER

Next, please.

BELL RINGS

-No idea.

-Erm...

Do they use names that are homophones for letters?

They do not.

Wayfarers, you want to have a go

-for a bonus?

-Hm.

-It's not all females, is it?

-No.

No, that's too long.

It is to do with their names.

I'll tell you what it is.

Each of these animals has a particular name

when it's turned into meat.

So, pig would be pork,

deer would be venison, adult sheep,

that would be mutton,

adult and young cow, it's different -

beef and veal.

Do you know why that is?

Something to do with...

From the Normans in French.

That's what it is.

When the Normans came,

the locals farmed the meat

and the French ate it,

so the food name -

pork, venison,

mutton from "mouton",

beef and veal from "boeuf" and "veau" -

is taken from the French.

But the English word is for the animal.

Sort of a class distinction there.

At the end of Round One...

Into Round Two, the sequences round.

So this more difficult stage of the competition gets even harder

because the teams have to work out the connections

and THEN tell me what comes fourth.

Wayfarers, you'll be going first again.

Which hieroglyph would you like?

Water, please.

Water. OK. MUSIC NOTE CHIMES

Well, well. It's a music sequence.

All right.

I want to know what you expect to hear in fourth place.

Here's the first.

# I'm walking on sunshine... #

OK, next, please.

MUSIC: Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven

Fur Elise by Beethoven.

Is it?

Yeah. Next, please.

# Good times

# These are the good times... #

And the... Three, four...

They are dedicated to... No, they're not.

Sunshine, good times.

Good times, walking on sunshine...

Oh! Blame It On The Boogie. No.

-Sunshine...

-Three seconds. BELL RINGS

Sunshine, good times, no. Boogie. Something with boogie in the title.

-No.

-Absolutely right.

For example, Boogie Wonderland.

I thought nobody would get this.

It is incredibly difficult.

What is the connection?

I think it's the songs contain things out of the song.

Blame it on the sunshine, blame it on the moonlight...

Oh, Moonlight Sonata, that's what it was. I was thinking Fur Elise.

Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven.

-And yeah, Good Times...

-By Chic.

That's absolutely right.

Walking On Sunshine,

Moonlight Sonata and Good Times.

So, we're hearing,

"Don't blame it on the sunshine,

"don't blame it on the moonlight

"don't blame it on the good times, blame it on the boogie."

I don't know if people at home know

the song. I mean, if they don't...

I think we could remind people of

that. Come on, everyone!

One, two, three!

-ALL:

-# Don't blame it on the sunshine

# Don't blame it on the moonlight

# Don't blame it on the good times

# Blame it on the boogie. #

Fabulous. Absolutely fabulous.

I mean, I wish we could give over

the whole of the rest of the show

to continuing that. We must move on.

But very well done for those points.

Bookworms, what would you like?

I'll go Two Reeds, please.

Two Reeds. OK.

Not a music sequence, you'll be relieved to know.

What would come fourth? Here's your first clue.

Four Wings.

A movie to win the Oscar.

-THEY WHISPER

-Next, please.

The Grand Hotel.

To do with directors who have won more than one Oscar, maybe.

-I don't know.

-So, that's the one...

-I don't know.

-What about one of four, two of four?

-DAVID MUMBLES

Next, please.

-Driving Miss Daisy.

-THEY WHISPER

So it would be four of four and it would be... Is that like...?

-Is there someone...?

-Three seconds. BELL RINGS

Four of four...

..The Departed,

D. Scorsese.

Unfortunately, you have not been able

to pluck that one out of the sky.

Unlucky. Wayfarers,

you want to have a go for a bonus?

Four of four,

12 Years A Slave, d. McQueen.

That's not it, either. The answer is

four of four Argo, d. Affleck.

The reason why we've put

the director's name there is

these are all films that won

the Oscar for Best Picture,

but the director was not nominated.

Oh!

Normally, you'll get the double

nomination for Best Picture

and Best Director, but all of these films...

And we're going chronologically,

so the next time it happened after

Driving Miss Daisy was Argo.

Ben Affleck himself not nominated,

but the film was.

No bonus point, Wayfarers,

but you might choose a question.

What would you like?

Can I have the Twisted Flax, please?

You certainly can. These are going to be picture clues.

What would you expect to see in the fourth picture?

Here's the first.

THEY WHISPER

Next, please.

Who are they?

Oh. Aristotle Onassis...

-And Nana Mouskouri.

-OK.

So, Greeks. Next, please.

-What direction is that?

-That's east.

-East, north, Greeks... Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.

-Bearing gifts.

-Ah!

-BELL RINGS

Some picture of some gifts under a Christmas tree.

Some lovely gifts. We haven't got the

Christmas tree, actually.

Just the g... Never mind the tree.

Let's get straight on with the gifts.

Absolutely right. What are we looking at?

A triangle indicates beware of something on a road sign

and the picture of Aristotle Onassis and Nana Mouskouri, so Greeks.

Bearing is the...on the compass and gifts,

so beware of Greeks bearing gifts from Virgil's Aeneid. I don't know.

That's right, yes.

Beware Greeks bearing gifts.

That's the phrase.

What gift had the Greeks supposedly

given that led to that phrase?

-The horse.

-Yes, the horse of Troy.

The Trojan Horse, yes. Well done.

Back to you, Bookworms,

what would you like?

The Eye of Horus, please.

The Eye of Horus. OK. What would be the fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Field forces, wounded and sick.

-Don't know.

-Next, please.

HE WHISPERS

THEY TALK QUIETLY

In a book or film or something. Next, please.

Or is it what happened in a...

Yes, so, first, they were sick and they became shipwrecked

and then they became prisoners of war.

-THEY WHISPER

-Did they escape or...?

Three seconds. BELL RINGS

Four, on the run.

Not that, I'm afraid.

Wayfarers, a bonus chance.

We're trying - four, refugees.

Not it either.

It's four, civilians

or wartime civilians.

These are subjects covered by

Geneva Conventions.

There's more than one Geneva Convention.

There's four of them, in fact. And they cover these various things.

None of them seems to cover

"you can't kill millions of people in a war."

But, it's "while you're honourably

"killing millions of people in a war,

"there are certain things

"you can't do." Things that are

protected and the fourth Geneva Convention protects civilians.

No bonus points, Wayfarers,

but a choice. Which will it be?

-The Lion, please.

-The Lion.

OK, what would be the fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

THEY WHISPER

Next, please.

Oh, dear. I presume there's no M10 road, is there?

-No. There used to be.

-Is there an M9?

-Yeah, there is.

-M13, M12...

-Should we have next?

-Yeah.

-Next, please.

-Ooh!

-The M10 was no longer a motorway.

It was declassified in 2009.

-So, what's next?

-So, these are...

-Quick, quick. Six seconds. Shall I buzz?

-Yeah, buzz.

-BELL RINGS

-M...

-What do you think?

-M7.

-M7.

Is the right answer.

What do you think it is, Matt?

These are motorway classifications that are not used.

That's right. They're just missing.

There is no M13 or M12.

No, you go straight to M11

and then M9, M8.

Can you tell me where they go?

-Where does the M8 go?

-The M8 is...

-In Scotland someplace, isn't it?

-Glasgow to Edinburgh.

-That's right.

Unless you're going in the other direction,

-in which case, Edinburgh to Glasgow. M9?

-M9 is Edinburgh to Stirling.

-Dunblane.

-Dunbl... Ooh.

And the M11?

-The M11 is...

-Cambridge.

-..is London to Cambridge, yeah.

London... In the direction of Cambridge.

It goes slightly beyond it to the

A14, but that's absolutely right.

This is one of my favourite

conversations we've ever

had on the show. If only we could

discuss more motorways.

Very good road knowledge. Missing

motorways and the next one

that's missing would be the M7.

One remaining question for you guys.

It's the Snake.

What would come fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Corrachadh Mor.

That's something Gaelic.

Though, I don't know what the...

-Might want to get another one just in case.

-Next, please.

Ooh. These are... I think these are extremity points.

Dunnet Head is the most northerly point.

I think Corrachadh Mor must be the westerly, so I'm assuming it's...

I'm pretty sure cos Dunnet Head is only...

How sure are you?

-Uh, 90+, I think.

-OK.

-Should I?

BELL RINGS

Go Lizard Point.

Coming in after two clues.

You get three points.

The answer is Lizard Point.

Very well done. What are we looking at?

The extremities of mainland Britain.

That's absolutely right.

Corrachadh Mor is the westernmost

point and that's in the Highlands of Scotland

and we're going round the compass.

So, the southernmost point in

Britain, Lizard Point.

Very well done.

At the end of Round Two...

Time now for the Connecting Wall

and it'll be the Bookworms' turn to go first.

So, you have a choice, Lion or Water.

-I'll go with Water, please.

-Water.

OK, you have two and a half minutes to solve this Wall...

starting now.

Well, Micra is a car.

Sunny's a car.

THEY TALK INDISTINCTLY

Tangelo, mandarin and clementine.

BUZZ

I'd go Nissan...

So, Micra, Sunny, Note, Cube.

BUZZ

There's ducks here.

Pintail, Muscovy, pochard, Mandarin.

Minneola is a crossbreed fruit.

-Minneola. Tangelo.

-Satsuma.

BUZZ

There's loan shark companies

as well.

Three strikes now.

So, Satsuma, Wonga, Sunny...

Don't put this in.

We've got to find out what...

There's three of them.

Assuming Uncle Buck is probably

one as well cos that's

not going to be a Nissan.

-Oh, right.

-Yeah.

-OK.

And so, I'll assume Atlas is one

and Sunny is a loan company.

So, if we go for Atlas, Micra...

Or Sunny is the other... No.

Cos I think Atlas sounds more like a...

We've got three chances.

Yeah, so should we go for Sunny?

That's it. You've solved the Wall.

Very well done. So, that's four points for the groups.

What about the connections?

The first blue group - pintail, Muscovy, pochard, Mandarin.

Think they're ducks.

They're types of ducks. Simple as that. The green group -

kumquat, tangelo, minneola, clementine.

They're basically like crossover...

-Citrus fruit.

-Citrus fruit, yeah.

Crossbred fruit.

I'm afraid, for a place in the semifinals,

I can't take it cos they aren't all crossovers.

They are all citrus fruits, orange citrus fruits,

but the kumquat, for example, not a crossover.

You're right, the minneola is bred from a tangerine and a grapefruit.

The tangelo, a tangerine and a grapefruit,

but a kumquat is just a...

Naturally comes like that. It's not a crossbreed.

The purple group - Satsuma, Sunny, Wonga, Uncle Buck.

Payday loan companies.

That's absolutely right. My saying those names does not

constitute in any way a recommendation.

They are payday loan companies.

The light blue group - Note, Micra, Cube and Atlas.

Cars made by Nissan.

They're Nissan car marques.

Four points for finding the groups,

three for the connections.

That is a total of seven. Let's bring in the Wayfarers now,

give them the other Connecting Wall, the Lion Wall,

and also give them two and a half minutes to solve it.

Good luck. Your time starts...now.

Gates Of Hell. OK, that's Rodin.

Rodin. I think that is Rodin.

What's another one?

-Try Martyr.

-Martyr.

-BUZZ

-No.

We've got some tiddlywinks here as well. I mean, wink and tiddlies.

-BUZZ

-No. I think a kiss is one as well.

So, do you want to cycle round tiddlies, squidger, kiss, wink.

-BUZZ

-What have we got?

We've got some banks, online banks.

And what's another one? PerkStreet.

-BUZZ

-No.

What... Oh, we keep including...

Tiddlies, that might be something...

BUZZ

Sad. These are emoticons, aren't they?

They are. There's sad, wink as well.

SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY

-BUZZ

-No. Oh, another one... Bomb.

BUZZ

Tiddlies can't be much else, can it?

So, it's a case of wink and Ally.

I think we should try and get these.

-BUZZ

-First Direct and Cahoot,

they're definitely together.

PerkStreet must be. What else could it be?

It can't be an emoticon, can it?

-There's a minute left.

-It's not going to be Martyr, is it, or bomb...

-No.

-..or Gates Of Hell?

-BUZZ

-BUZZ

-What else can Rodin sculptures be?

We've got... Martyr could be but what else could it be?

-Walking Man?

-Yeah.

-Ah!

-We're three strikes now.

Wink, squidger, tiddlies... Oh, we've still got Ally there.

Ally is marbles, it's not tiddlywinks, isn't it?

Wow, you flew off the Wall, very well done.

So, four points immediately and what about the connections?

Sad, kiss, blush, smile.

They're all emoticons, we think.

That's what they are, emoticons.

Thinker, Gates Of Hell, Martyr, Walking Man.

Well, they're all sculptures. Are they sculptures by Rodin?

That's right. The Thinker, The Gates Of Hell, The Martyr,

The Walking Man, all sculptures by Rodin.

The pink group - wink, bomb, squidger, tiddlies.

I think these are all tiddlywinks terms.

They are. The bomb, you weren't sure.

-It's when you're trying to disturb your opponent's pile.

-Right.

And the last one - PerkStreet, First Direct, Cahoot, Ally.

Online internet banking or internet financial institutions.

That's what they are, online banks. Simple as that.

So, that's another four points for the connections

-and you get the bonus ones, so you score the maximum of ten.

-Right.

Let's have a look at the scores.

The Bookworms have 11 points.

The Wayfarers have 19.

Round Four now.

We will decide who goes to the semifinal

and who goes home, based on the missing vowels.

So, fingers on buzzers, teams.

The first group are all people

appearing on game shows

before they were famous.

Bookworms.

Amanda Holden on Blind Date.

Correct.

Bookworms.

Konnie Huq on Blockbusters.

Correct.

Wayfarers.

Simon Cowell on Sale Of The Century.

Yes, it is.

Bookworms.

Olly Marrs on Deal Or No Deal.

I'm afraid I can't take that.

Wayfarers, do you know?

Olly Murs on Deal Or No Deal.

The celebrity is Olly Murs

who was on Deal Or No Deal. Unlucky.

Next category:

-Bookworms.

-Two Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.

Correct.

-Wayfarers.

-Four Men In A Boat.

Correct.

Bookworms.

-A Tale Of Three Cities.

-Correct.

Bookworms.

51 Shades Of Grey.

The 51st is filthy. LAUGHTER

Next category:

Wayfarers.

-Dusty Miller.

-Correct.

Wayfarers.

-Nobby Clark.

-Correct.

Wayfarers.

-Chalky White.

-Yes, it is.

END OF ROUND JINGLE

That's it, the bell has gone.

And I can tell you that finishing with 25 points

and through to the semifinals,

it's the Wayfarers.

Very well done to you guys,

excellent stuff.

And with 15 points, sadly at this stage going home,

it's the Bookworms.

Thank you all very much for coming.

Well done for making

the quarterfinals.

Sorry that you had a bit of

a squidger and a bomb

just at the end there

and we have to say goodbye.

Thank you for watching.

Of course, it'll now be another week before you find us again

in your house...or will it?

We're clever enough to make this quiz,

you really think we can't disable your burglar alarm?

Sleep tight.