Social Networkers vs Vegetarians Only Connect

Hello and welcome to a brand new series of Only Connect,

the quiz harder to understand than Duncan Bannatyne reading the shipping forecast.

The principle is quite easy to understand.

The teams have to work out the connection between various clues,

but the clues are slippery and the connections are fiendishly hidden.

So if you're going to join in at home,

I hope you had fish for breakfast.

Guzzling the haddock tonight, that's not a euphemism,

we've got Roger Prately, a business analyst for a soft drinks company

with a passion for Oxford United Football Club.

Sean Carey, a modern languages graduate

who enjoys Japanese puzzles.

And their captain, Beth Webster, a healthcare scientist

with an interest in ancient Egyptian history.

They found friendship online - hello!

They are the Social Networkers.

Everyone's a social networker. What's different you?

We all live in different parts of the country

and we keep in touch with each other on Facebook

and these two lovely people answered my application plea

as a status update.

-So you advertised for an Only Connect team?

-Yes.

Wow. And did you give them test questions?

No, I just took whoever said yes. These were the only two!

So as far as you know, they don't know anything?

They know lots. They're probably better than me.

We'll find out. Your opponents are...

John Larkin, a board game fan interested in Anglo-Saxon history.

Cathryn Lloyd, a keen blogger and linguist who enjoys

live comedy and heavy metal music. And their captain, Dave Lloyd,

an accommodation officer who loves war poetry and vegetarian cookery.

Natural bedfellows there!

They are brother, sister and housemate, none of whom eats meat.

They are the Vegetarians.

Dave, how have you been preparing?

Plenty of red meat before the show? Oh, sorry.

We've been grazing in fields, mainly.

And doing a lot of training montages to Eye Of The Tiger.

Your opponents advertised to meet each other for top brains.

Did you pick the cleverest people or just whoever was in the room?

-The cleverest people I knew picked me to do the speaky bit.

-Excellent.

Let's see if they made a wise choice. We're going to play the quiz.

In round one, you have to tell me the connection between four clues.

The fewer clues you need to see before telling me the answer,

the more points you get.

Social Networkers won the toss, so you're going first.

Please look at the board and select an Egyptian hieroglyph.

-We'd like twisted flax, please.

-The twisted flax.

Your first clue, and these are going to be picture clues,

is coming up now...

-Oh. Spring?

-Vorsprung durch Technik.

-Is that Audi? That's not an Audi symbol.

-It's not.

-Not quite. Next.

-Who's that?

-I can't tell who that is.

-I've no idea.

No idea. Next.

That's Stu Francis.

-"Crush a grape", Crackerjack.

-Crackerjack.

Crackerjack? Cracker?

-Next.

-Next.

KLM. That's Dutch.

You've got ten seconds.

STU, KLM, it's consecutive letters.

Consecutive letters, right! BUZZER

They make up consecutive letters.

Brilliant. They contain three consecutive letters.

I was about to say,

"Poor you, a tough first clue."

What did you recognise?

Stu, S-T-U, Francis from Crackerjack, and then KLM.

We don't know the first two.

The first one is the symbol for ABC,

the Australian TV channel

-and the second picture is Mos Def.

-Of course.

Spells his name D-E-F.

So, three consecutive letters is the connection. Very well done.

Vegetarians, your turn to pick a hieroglyph.

-Can we have Eye of Horus, please?

-You can.

That is going to be the music question.

You'll be hearing the clues. Here's the first one...

SONG EXCERPT PLAYS INTO STUDIO

-the Beatles.

-It's Helter Skelter, isn't it?

Um, next.

NEW SONG EXCERPT PLAYS

-That is...?

-Um, yes.

Waiting For The Ghost Train That Never Comes.

-Fairground rides.

-Go with it.

BUZZER

Is it fairground rides?

It absolutely is, coming in after two clues, you get three points.

They're all fairground rides.

Helter Skelter, Waiting For The Ghost Train.

You would've heard Carousel Waltz

and Life Is A Roller Coaster.

You did very well to get that after two clues.

-Back to the Social Networkers to pick a question.

-Horned viper.

Horned viper. Your first clue is coming up now.

-The auction?

-I've never heard of that.

-Don't know.

-No idea. Next.

THEY WHISPER

-John...is that Hitchins?

-I don't know, really don't know.

-Next.

-Depression.

-A black dog? Is it something dog?

-I really don't know.

-Black dog.

-Dogs?

-Ten seconds.

-Next please.

-Yes, dogs.

-BUZZER

Dogs. Or more specifically, black dogs.

They are all referred to or depicted

as black dogs. Very good.

-I don't think you knew the first one?

-It's a beer, isn't it?

Not as far as I know

and when it comes to bear,

I'm quite the expert.

It's a sort of ghost story,

a ghostly dog story, that is.

Mail on Sunday have a column called Black Dog,

Winston Churchill referred

to his depression as that.

And Gnasher, or G-nasher, you know.

Dennis the Menace.

Black Dogs is the connection, very well done.

-Back to the Vegetarians for a question.

-Two reeds, please.

Two reeds. Your first clue is coming up now...

-Next.

-Yes, next, please.

-It's going to be initials for something. Next.

-Next, please.

Always stand on the left or the right, which is it?

Ant's always on the left when you're on TV,

so they're alphabetical order.

-Is that...?

-I'd agree with that.

BELL

Um, is it always stands on the left?

No, it's that they're all drunk.

I'm joking!

All traditionally seen on the left-hand side.

The last one would've been a red light on a boat.

Ant McPartlin, as the viewers look at him, he's on the left,

not stage left. Why does he always stand on the left?

They're Ant and Dec, so they're that way round to avoid confusion.

Apparently the practical reason was viewers didn't know which was which.

They said, "You're going to stand in the same place all the time."

Traditionally seen on the left, coming after three clues,

you get two points. Well done.

-Social Networkers, pick a question.

-We'll have lion, please.

Your first clue is coming up now.

-It could be Formula 1.

-Or is it cheers, a toast?

Next.

-I think they're all ways of saying "Cheers".

-Are they?

Next.

-Yes.

-BELL

They're all ways of toasting, or saying "Cheers".

The very sight of the words has

given me a raging thirst.

They are ways of saying "Cheers" in various languages.

Do you know which languages?

-"Slainte" is Irish.

-"Slainte" is Irish.

-"Skal" is Scandinavian.

-That's Scandinavian, isn't it?

-"Prost" is German?

-"Prost" is German.

"Kia ora" sounds maybe Maori or something like that.

I like your deductive reasoning,

it is Maori, that's in New Zealand

they say that.

Cheers. Just one question remaining for you, Vegetarians.

It's going to be the water question.

Your first clue is coming up now.

It's a motto of something, isn't it?

I thought it was names of something. Next, please.

-Go next.

-Next, please.

He's the head of the Catholic Church in England.

-I'm struggling to get the link.

-Next, please.

Yeah. Four-pointed things?

Maybe he's got a four-pointed hat. I'm clutching at straws here.

-You've got five seconds.

-BELL

Is it four points? Four-pointed things?

Explain to me how Cormac Murphy-O'Connor has

four-pointed things.

Um, he may stand in a cross shape a lot.

He may, but that's the man's own private business.

You do not get the point.

-A possible bonus for you, Social Networkers.

-We think it's cardinal.

Absolutely correct. Talk me through it.

North, south, east and west are cardinal points of the compass.

Cormac Murphy-O'Connor is a cardinal.

1, 2, 3, 4, cardinal numbers.

And the four cardinal virtues?

Cardinal virtues, that's right. 1, 2, 3, 4, cardinal numbers.

First, second, third and so on would be ordinal numbers.

Bonus point to you. Very well done.

Let's have a look at the scores at the end of Round One.

The Social Networkers have got five points,

and the Vegetarians also have five points.

In Round Two, there are still four clues, and they are all connected.

But this time, they come in a sequence,

and I want to know what is the fourth clue. So teams,

you will see a maximum of three, and the fewer you see,

the more points, and I want to know what comes fourth.

Social Networkers,

you'll go first again, so please pick a hieroglyph.

-Eye of Horus, please.

-Eye of Horus.

First in a sequence coming up. What's fourth?

Time starts now.

-Anything?

-Not a clue.

-No?

Next.

Is it song lyrics?

A song, "You're incredible"... It's a something, something...

They're not something to do with the words, are they?

Isn't it the words of DISCO?

-Try the next one.

-Next.

Yes, it is DISCO.

-What's O?

-No, it's the C.

-Ten seconds.

Three seconds.

BELL

-Cutie.

-Thank you very much!

But that's not the right answer.

So, there is a possible bonus available to the Vegetarians.

Um, cool?

Not cool, either. Why do you think that?

-DISCO, the things that she is in it.

-Don't know the words!

It is the song DISCO.

"Cool" doesn't appear at all.

"Cutie" does in a different bit,

not followed by those adjectives.

After those, it is "complicated". After "delirious", "incredible"

and "superficial", she is C, "complicated".

So, no points. Vegetarians, though,

-you can try and get some with your own question.

-Lion, please.

-Lion.

First in a sequence coming up. What's fourth? Time starts now.

Boyzone or Australian Prime Ministers.

-Go for next.

-Next, please.

It's Australian Prime Ministers. Right, OK. This is limiting down.

-Do I remember them well enough?

-Shall we go next?

-Yes!

Next, please.

It's a woman, starts with a G.

-Say Gilligan or something.

-Ten seconds.

Try it, I'm not certain

-what the name is.

-BELL

Is it Gilligan?

No, sorry!

It's not. So there's a possible bonus for you, Networkers.

-It's Gillard.

-Gillard is the answer. I am so sorry,

and you were very close.

The sequence is Australian Prime Ministers.

Next in the sequence would be Gillard.

I'm so sorry!

And I was only laughing because

I so love the name of Kevin Rudd.

Brilliant name for an Australian Prime Minister.

-AUSTRALIAN ACCENT:

-Kevin Rudd! Perfect!

I didn't mean to laugh at how close you got,

because that would be cruel. Gillard is the Australian Prime Minister.

So, that's a bonus point

for the Networkers. You may now pick your own question.

-Two reeds, please.

-Two reeds.

The first in a sequence is coming up now.

12/11... It's 12/11/10. 11/10/09...

10/09/08, 09/08/07...

9th August 2007.

7... 7...

-Shall we get the next?

-Yeah, next, please.

So it's going down in threes.

So it's the 3rd of March... No, the 3rd of February 2001.

Ten seconds.

Yeah, 3rd February 2001. BELL

3rd February 2001.

-Why?

-I'll let

-my teammates explain!

-The date's going down in three days.

The month's going down in three months.

The year's going down in three years. So it's a six.

You are right.

You nearly fell into a trap of buzzing in early

and getting the wrong one. Dates that would be written numerically

as 12/11/10, 09/08/07, 06/05/04,

and the last one, 03/02/01,

would be the 3rd February, 2001. Very well done

for the points. Back to the Vegetarians to choose.

-Horned viper, please.

-Horned viper.

What comes fourth? The first one is coming up now.

Next, please.

-Sounds like a series of books.

-Yeah.

Next, please.

I think it is going to be something like books, but I have no idea!

OK, we need to come up with something that sounds good.

-Yeah!

-Good luck!

Can we guess what that sounds like an author?

No, it sounds... It sounds like it could be a fantasy book...

Ten seconds.

Monkey Cupboard!

-Go with it! I don't know.

-BELL

The Monkey Cupboard.

-Yeah, it's The Monkey Cupboard(!)

-I thought it might be!

It's not! There's a possible bonus available

for you, Social Networkers. What's fourth?

Yeah, we know what the link is, but we don't know what the answer is.

The link's Booker Prize winners.

That's just lazy! Your opponents tried to guess a book title.

Come on, hit me! Just think of a book title. Anything!

Not the Life Of Pi?

You've taken too long, but I want you to invent a book title

and say it as punishment

for not knowing what won in 2010, because it is books that won

the Booker Prize in successive years.

-The Skeleton Key.

-It's not, but it's the right kind of shape.

The Finkler Question. Brilliant! The Howard Jacobson novel

The Finkler Question. None of you know -

I'm ashamed of you! But, yes, books that have won

the Man Booker Prize.

Wolf Hall, I'm very much looking forward to reading...

the very second my doctor tells me I have 2,000 years to live.

I'm sure it's a very good book, but I've watched men live and die

trying to finish it.

Anyway, no points. Tut, tut for literary merit.

-Networkers, you may now pick your own question.

-Water, please.

Water. The first in a sequence coming up. What's fourth?

Time starts now.

Marine? Contractor?

It has to be in order, hasn't it?

Go for the next one. Next.

-But what would be next?

-I don't know.

-Chemistry?

-Next.

-Sonic?

-Transonic?

-Ultra?

-Superultra? Oh, ultra would be next?

-Ten seconds.

-BELL

-Ultra.

-I'm afraid not.

-Possible bonus, Vegetarians.

-John.

-Supra?

That is not correct either.

The fourth in the sequence would be hyper.

The reason is they are suffixes for sonic speeds, getting faster.

Subsonic, transonic, supersonic - next would be hypersonic.

So, no points there.

I'd like to see some of you getting some points. Twisted flax is

your last chance, Vegetarians. Your first clue,

and these are going to be picture clues, coming up now.

-Try the next one.

-Next, please.

New South Wales.

Could be the Millennium Stadium.

Could be.

-That's not in sequence, is it, so ignore that!

-Next, please.

It looks like a massive compass, but I can't tell from here.

Next one? You think it's Arsenal, the Emirates?

-I thought it was the Emirates, but I'm not...

-Ten seconds.

Is that south?

It could be north, south, east, west, maybe?

Three seconds.

BELL

Go West!

That's no way to speak to the host! I'm afraid that is not

the correct answer. Social Networkers, do you want to have a go

for a bonus?

I'm afraid I can't give you a long chat. Do you have an answer?

-No, we don't.

-Where I think you went wrong, there, Vegetarians, is

you thought that was the Arsenal ground. That is Old Trafford.

See if you can get it now. Old Trafford, New South Wales,

the third picture is a still from The Borrowers -

the arrow points to a borrowed object. Blue.

Old, new, borrowed, blue. We picked a bowl of blueberries,

but we wanted to hear something with blue in it.

The things that a bride takes on her wedding day.

So, no points on the last question.

But you're not badly off. Looking at the scores at the end of Round Two,

the Vegetarians are still on five points,

but the Social Networkers have improved to nine.

So, it's Round Three, the Connecting Wall.

16 clues this time,

which our teams have to sort into four connected groups of four.

It's going to be your turn to go first.

Beware the red herrings of the grid.

Some clues seem to come into more than one group.

There's only one perfect solution. What is it?

Your first choice is, would you like the lion wall or the water?

-Lion, please.

-Lion wall, OK.

Your 16 clues are coming up, and your time starts now.

OK, bamboo shoots...

Donkey jacket, bomber jacket.

Puss in Boots, as well, it's Shrek, isn't it? And Donkey.

Puss in Boots, Dragon and Donkey.

-I don't remember a dragon...

-There was a dragon, but... Harold?

A fire jacket, as well. Smoking jacket.

Bomber, donkey, smoking...

Is fire jacket a jacket?

-We'll find out. No.

-You've used 30 seconds.

Seahorse?

Harold is confusing me.

Is there a Harold in Shrek?

Is there a character called Harold? Or is that a red herring?

It could be.

Mayfly, firefly.

Can we get any others? Horsefly? Dragonfly.

Let's remember which ones we've got in case there's any others.

Ignore dragon for now.

-Can you see any others?

-Butterfly?

-Yes.

-Horsefly, mayfly, firefly.

Not much can go with that.

Just over halfway through the time.

-Shall we try the Shrek one?

-Yes.

I'll try Harold.

This is a word-based one, isn't it?

Flower? Sorry?

Windcheater, I said. What more could Fiona be on?

-I'm on to pretty obscure stuff.

-You've got about 40 seconds left.

-Sunflower?

-Bomber jacket...

-Off-season? Football season?

-Out of season?

-Yes.

30 seconds.

You want to start having some random jabs.

-Shall we?

-Go on, have a jab.

-OK.

-Dragon.

Donkey, and let's try...

Clearly not, but I'm happy with those three.

-Got about ten seconds now.

-Try Harold.

-Oh!

-Hurrah!

-That's a group!

Right, random selection.

Oh, the grid's frozen, your time is up.

But in the nick of time you got two groups,

so that's two points right away.

And you can now get bonus points for telling me the connections.

Fire, may, horse, butter.

They're all flies.

Suffixes for fly. Firefly, mayfly, horsefly, butterfly. Next group.

Dragon, Fiona, Puss in Boots, Harold.

Characters in Shrek.

They're characters in Shrek. You struggled with Harold.

Played by John Cleese.

King Harold, yes! And you can also

get points for the connections of the groups you didn't find.

So, let's resolve the wall. There you go.

That's what it should have looked like.

Smoking, Norfolk, donkey, bomber?

-Must be jacket.

-Don't know the Norfolk jacket?

-No!

-The kids used to wear them. You know The Phoenix And The Carpet?

They wear Norfolk jackets, and they keep

a feather in... You didn't know the Booker Prize either!

More reading for you guys!

And the last one. Flower, wind, season, bamboo.

Are they in mah-jong?

-They're the various...

-Suits.

-Yeah, suits in the tiles.

-They're mah-jong tiles, very well done.

-Good shout!

Two points for the groups you found, four points for the connections.

That's six points. Well done.

Time to bring back the Social Networkers

and see what they can do with the Connecting Wall.

They'll have 16 fresh clues

that still must be sorted into four connected groups of four.

So, Networkers, the lion wall has

been taken already, so you've got the water. 16 clues coming up.

Time starts now.

OK. Anything, anybody?

We've got London boroughs.

Brent, Merton, Sutton and Enfield.

-Sutton and Enfield.

-Well done, that's a group.

Lambeth Walk?

There's parasites. Leech, fluke, tick and chigger.

Three strikes and you're out now, of course.

Bow...

-Bow, hook...

-We've got London again - Lambeth...

We've got a walk. Lambeth Palace.

Nature walk, spacewalk...

Are these parts of something?

Dear me!

I don't know what a drogue is at all.

-Is it something that's ending in "rogue"?

-Yeah.

You've used a minute.

Rainbow...

Random number...

-Somebody said mother?

-Yes, I said mother.

No, walks, sorry.

Lambeth Walk, spacewalk, nature walk.

Random walk? Plough walk?

-Captain Hook, Captain Bow...

-You've got a minute left.

Lambeth ends in a girl's name, but none of the others do.

I'd try the walks.

So, Lambeth, space, nature.

What's a drogue walk?

Drogue walk? Bow walk? Hook walk? Random walk?

-You've solved the wall!

-Oh, good God!

Almost by accident, but well done. Four points for the groups.

Bonus points available for the connections.

First group. Sutton, Enfield, Merton, Brent.

-London boroughs.

-They are boroughs of London.

Leech, fluke, tick, chigger.

All parasites.

Parasites. And the next one.

Space, random, Lambeth, nature.

Are we going to go for walks still? Walks.

They are walks. I have a bit of a bow walk myself,

but it's not in that group.

Random, you struggled with. You don't know random walk?

-No.

-It's a mathematical term.

It's used in modelling the movement of things in nature. Insects,

or crowds, even. But you got the point for the connection, well done.

And the last one. Bow, plough, hook, drogue.

Fishing terms? Fly-fishing terms.

I can't give it to you. I'm tempted, it is a bit maritime, but no.

They are types of anchor. So you were right

to think of the sea, but it's not fishing.

You got four points for the groups that you found and three bonus points for the connections.

That's a total of seven.

Let's see what that does to the scores, going into Round Four.

The Vegetarians have improved to 11 points,

but the Social Networkers are ahead with 16.

And if you were shouting, "Norfolk jacket,

"like in The Phoenix And The Carpet!,"

maybe you and I should be friends. But in the meantime,

you can go on to the website and play a Connecting Wall,

or even generate your own. That option is on the website now.

What we're going to do is

play Round Four, the missing-vowels round.

Teams, you will have to identify the hidden names,

phrases or sayings from which we've removed the vowels

and re-spaced the consonants.

Fingers on buzzers. I'll tell you the connections in advance.

The first four clues are all alkaline substances.

Networkers?

-Baking soda.

-Correct.

-Vegetarians?

-Oven cleaner.

-Yes, it is. Next clue.

-Vegetarians?

-Ammonia solution?

-Yes.

-Networkers?

-Milk of magnesia.

Correct. Next category, things on which you can sleep.

-Vegetarians?

-Futon.

-Yes.

-Vegetarians?

-Four-poster bed.

-Yes.

-Networkers?

-Palliasse.

-A straw mattress, correct.

-Networkers?

-Double bunk.

-Yes, it is.

The next group all mean "quickly".

-Vegetarians?

-Lickety-split.

-Correct.

-Networkers?

-Hotfoot.

-Yes.

-Networkers?

-Prestissimo.

-Correct.

-Vegetarians?

-Post-haste.

-Yes, it is.

Next group, styles of type.

-Networkers?

-Cursive.

-Yes.

-Vegetarians?

-Uppercase.

-Yes.

-Vegetarians?

-Antique.

-Yes.

-Vegetarians?

-Old English.

-Yes.

Next category, wine-producing areas.

-Networkers?

-Chianti.

-Correct.

-Vegetarians?

-Alsace?

-Yes.

-Networkers?

-Finger Lakes.

-Yes.

-Networkers?

-Yarra Valley.

-Yes.

Next category, soccer terms.

-Vegetarians?

-Indirect free kick.

-Yes.

END-OF-ROUND JINGLE

That last one was outside right. But we've heard that noise,

which means either it's the end of the quiz

or someone very posh has forgotten to turn off their phone.

And my phone is definitely off.

So, it's the end of the quiz, and looking at the final scores,

the Vegetarians have got 22 points, but the winners, with 26 points,

are the Social Networkers.

So, I'm afraid it's goodbye to you, Vegetarians,

despite a brilliant Round Four for you, there, John.

I'm sorry, you've been a lovely team.

And it will be hello again to you, Networkers,

at a later stage. Very well done.

Join me next time, when I'll have different teams

and, unfortunately for them, different questions. Goodbye.

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