Edwards Family vs Inorganic Chemists Only Connect

Hello and welcome to Only Connect, the hardest quiz on TV.

How does it work? Well, imagine four different bottles with something in common,

say a white burgundy, a claret, a vodka and a scotch.

I drink those and then we play a quiz.

And I've had my power breakfast, so let's meet the teams.

On my right it's David Edwards, a retired physics teacher

who enjoys English sword dancing and researching his family history.

Charlotte Martyn, a video-game magazine editor

with a passion for PG Woodhouse and live music.

And their captain, Richard Edwards,

a science-fiction journalist and Derby County football supporter who's obsessed with Star Wars.

They are father, son and daughter-in-law, the Edwards Family.

Richard, you've got your father and your wife there. How did you get to be captain?

I don't know. It was probably the first time in my life I've ever had a chance to be in charge,

-so I'm wielding it.

-You're looking forward to telling them what to do.

-Yeah.

I think this might be the most diplomatic option, as well.

Good luck with that. You are facing on my left Saul Moorhouse,

a PhD student and keen ornithologist who's currently training for a half-marathon.

Henry Fisher, a postgraduate student who enjoys playing jazz piano and ballroom dancing.

And their captain, Charles Markland,

a DPhil student and sherry aficionado with a passion for crime novels.

They're all studying inorganic chemistry at Oxford University.

They are the Inorganic Chemists.

Inorganic Chemists sounds very specific. Why not just chemists?

I think chemists on its own sounds a bit like working behind the counter at the local pharmacy,

but it's a quite specific branch with the non-biological, non-organic sort of stuff.

But it's probably more interesting. It's got the colours and bangs associated with exciting chemistry.

Cool chemistry, that's what we refer to it as.

-So there's no point my breaking into your dressing room for a prescription pad?

-I don't think so.

-But you can try if you like.

-I probably will.

Let's play the quiz. We start with Round One, that seems only fair.

I simply want to know, what is the connect between four clues.

But the fewer clues you need to see before giving me the right answer, the most points available.

The Edwards Family won the toss. You go first.

Please choose your Egyptian hieroglyph.

-Twisted flax, please.

-OK.

Your first clue is going to come up. Shout next to see another one.

Time starts now.

-Is that Bikini?

-Could be Bikini.

-Shall we go for next?

-Yes.

-Next, please.

-That's three colours. Red, white and blue.

-So is it Tricolore?

Could the nuclear tests have been called Tricolore?

I... What would...

-Three colours.

-Go for three colours.

BELL

It's three colours, based on the French Tricolore.

Red, white and blue.

It is red, white and blue. Very good. You get three points.

Those French nuclear tests were codenamed Bleu, Blanche and Rouge.

The Kieslowski films, Three Colours Red,

Three Colours White, Three Colours Blue. The Luxembourg flag

and Minis in The Italian Job. Red, white and blue is the link.

Over to the Inorganic Chemists to pick a question.

-We'd like the horned viper, please.

-OK.

Your first clue is coming up now.

Oh, Treasure Island. That's not the name of the book, is it?

-I think that's just general. I think we should go on.

-Next, please.

A Hike... Oh, is it Famous Five novels?

Famous Five Go To A Treasure Island. Take A Hike Together.

-Sounds reasonable.

-I think that might be it.

Shall we go straight for it?

-I think we might just go for it.

-Go for it.

-BELL

-Are they all the endings

of Enid Blyton's Famous Five novels?

You've also come in after two clues.

You also get three points.

Five On A Treasure Island, Five On A Hike Together, Finniston Farm

and Kirrin Island Again. Famous Five books.

-Have you read all those?

-I haven't read any of them, to my shame.

But I should have. It's a quintessential childhood experience.

How do you know the titles?

Oh, knowledge. Where does it come from?

THEY LAUGH

You're a teacher, David. My teacher said we shouldn't read Enid Blyton.

-Do you think that's right?

-I think there's a lot

which I find very disturbing in Enid Blyton books.

I think Noddy is the cruellest bit of literature I can think of.

But I'm only a physics teacher, what do I know about literature?

Noddy, the cruellest book in literature!

On the bombshell, over to the Edwards Family to pick a question.

-Can we have the lion, please?

-Yes, you may.

These are going to be picture clues and your first one is coming up now.

-That's Rudolf Hess.

-Hess.

Next, please.

-Oh.

-Is that Walter Raleigh?

-Er, crimes? Execution?

-They were executed in a certain way?

-No, he wasn't executed.

-He died in prison.

-Shall we go next?

-Hess did.

Next, please.

-The Kray Brothers.

-Oh, Spandau.

-Possibly could be... Spandau Ballet played the Krays.

-Ten seconds.

-The brothers from Spandau Ballet played the Krays.

-Spandau Ballet?

-Yes.

-BELL

The connection is Spandau, we think.

So brilliant but unfortunately wrong.

I can absolutely see your thinking. Not the answer, though.

I'll show the last clue to the Inorganic Chemists for a bonus.

-They were all inmates of the Tower Of London.

-That is correct.

You were thinking of Rudolf Hess being in Spandau

and the Kray Twins being played by those band members.

That's Walter Raleigh in the second picture, not imprisoned at Spandau,

and neither was Anne Boleyn, in the fourth picture.

They were all imprisoned in the Tower Of London,

the Kray Twins in 1952. Seems late.

They stopped using it quite soon after that, but they were there.

Well done for the bonus. Please pick your own hieroglyph.

-We'd like the eye of Horus, please.

-All right. Here is your first clue.

Naval ranks. Probably not.

Next, please.

-Ooh. OK.

-Equipment ranks?

Erm... Ooh. They're not things from Cluedo, are they?

We think we should probably go across. Next, please.

Caretaker? My goodness.

OK, erm, they're all positions of authority.

Caretaker. Shall we go straight to the last one?

-I don't think we know it.

-Ten seconds.

-Next, please.

-People that take over...

-Oh, dashing?

-It's got to be a word thing.

-Three seconds.

-BELL

-Erm...

-Let's hear it.

They all, erm, are parts of the names of Scottish dances.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Which Scottish dances?

Er, the Dashing White Sergeant, the, erm, Caretaker Fling.

-Colonel Trot.

-And the well-known Commander Dance.

I look forward to seeing you dance all of those after the show

but I can't give you the point, not the right answer,

-so possible bonus for the Edwards Family.

-We're a bit stumped,

but the connection is John le Carre novels?

Oh, goodness, no. You were quite right, it is about the words.

Look closely at those words,

you'll find they all begin with punctuation marks.

Comma, colon, caret, dash.

Punctuation marks hidden at the beginning.

Ha-ha, we got you with that one.

Edwards Family, please pick a question.

-Can we have the water, please?

-Yes, you can.

Here is your first clue now.

What's it called?

-It's Sheridan's, isn't it?

-Next.

-Next, please.

-Sheridan.

-Yep.

-Yes.

-BELL

-Er, we think it's Sheridan.

-You're absolutely right.

Talk me through those two clues.

Well, the famous black and white liqueur is Sheridan's

and I'm assuming that Tommy Sheridan is the MSP for Glasgow.

Tommy Sheridan who subsequently went to jail for perjury.

Then we had the playwright Sheridan, The Rivals,

and Janet in Two Pints Of Lager, the actress Sheridan Smith.

You get three points, well done.

That leaves only one question for you, Chemists, the two reeds.

It's going to be the music question cos we haven't had that yet.

Here is your first clue now.

# I've been looking for freedom

-# I've been looking for love

-Bruce Springsteen.

-Is it?

-No, it's not.

-Next, please.

# Oh, you're right

-# And I'm wrong

-Any ideas?

-# You know I'm going to miss you

-No.

-# Now that you're gone

-I think we should go for the next one. Next, please.

# I'm dreaming

-# Of a white Christmas

-Bing Crosby?

-Ten seconds.

-Next.

-POP BALLAD

-Take My Breath Away from Top Gun.

-# Watching in slow motion...

-By Berlin.

-Irving Berlin. There was an Irving Berlin song.

-BELL

Is it Berlin?

The connection is Berlin!

That was Take My Breath Away by Berlin.

I think you recognised White Christmas, written by Irving Berlin.

Second one, Lou Reed's track Berlin.

The first one, not Bruce Springsteen

but that great musical performer David Hasselhoff

with the track that he performed whilst standing on the Berlin Wall.

A great moment in musical history.

At the end of Round One, then, the Inorganic Chemists have five points

but the Edwards Family are in the lead with six.

Round Two is all about sequences.

This time, teams, you must work out the connections, but you tell me

which the fourth clue would be. You may see one, two or three clues before telling me.

The fewer clues, the more points. Edwards Family, you are first.

-Two reeds, please.

-All right. The first in the sequence is coming up.

These are going to be picture clues. What would you expect to see in the fourth picture?

Here's the first one.

Next, please.

That's the Teletubbies mound, isn't it?

THEY WHISPER I think it might be.

Next, please.

-That's Geoff Hamilton.

-Gardener's World.

Something to do with gardening. Teletubbies...

-Who's the first one?

-We don't know.

It would help if we knew, wouldn't it?

-Hamilton... It's not racing drivers or anything?

-Ten seconds.

-Oh, could be. Yes. So it would be Button.

-No, no.

-Quick.

-Three seconds.

-Vettel. Press!

-BELL Er, it'll be a button.

-Vettel.

-No, it'll be a button.

-Oh, sorry.

You said you were looking forward to having some power over your family

and you were right to, because button is the answer.

Never usually right for a man to overrule his own father

but you get the point. I didn't think anyone would get that.

You are looking at Clint Mansell,

the former lead singer of Pop Will Eat Itself,

a hill, like the racing driver Damon Hill,

Geoff Hamilton, the gardener, like Lewis Hamilton.

British Formula One champions. And the next, Jenson Button.

So we've got a picture of a button. Inorganic Chemists, pick a question.

The twisted flax, please.

First in a sequence coming up. What's fourth? Time starts now.

Peat. Layers of soil?

Next one, please.

Is it the progression as you head towards coal?

It goes from peat, compressed into lignite, then to...

Would it be coal, oil or something before coal and then coal?

-I think coal would definitely be...

-Do we want to risk it?

-Coal would be last in the sequence.

-Shall we go for coal

-or shall we see the next one?

-I say go for coal.

-We'll just go for coal, shall we?

-BELL

-Coal.

-Now, unfortunately,

at this point, you have gambled unwisely

by coming in after just two clues. I'll show the third one

to the Edwards Family.

Would you like to tell me what's last in the sequence?

-Anthracite.

-That is absolutely right

because we had two sorts of coal waiting to come up,

bituminous and anthracite would be the fourth,

so a bonus point to the Edwards family.

-Please pick your own question.

-Lion, please.

Lion. First in the sequence coming up. What's fourth? Time starts now.

Next, please.

Oh, that's London. So it would be 0207.

-Why?

-Cos it went 0171 then 0207. So it's 0207. London areas codes.

-OK.

BELL

-It'll be 0207.

-Yes, it will.

The dialling codes for Central London. They changed over time.

01, 071, 0171 and the next 0207.

Well done for the point. Back to the Inorganic Chemists, then.

-We'd like water, please.

-OK. What is the fourth in this sequence?

Time starts now.

South American or Australia two.

-Is it two? Is that DVD codes?

-No, aren't they...

THEY WHISPER

OK, shall we... Next one, please.

Is Africa one thing in Risk? Africa's divided in Risk, isn't it?

-But it's how many...

-Are you sure it's not the region DVD codes?

-OK.

-Let's see the next one. Next, please.

-Yeah. I don't know what six is. Is it South America?

-Ten seconds.

It could be South America or East Asia. What shall we go for?

-South America?

-Three seconds.

-BELL

Erm, South America equals six.

I'm afraid that is not the right answer for several reasons,

so I must offer the Edwards family another possible bonus.

-Asia equals six?

-That's not right, either.

You'll see that it doesn't go up one number at a time.

Two, three, five. So why should it be six?

The answer is Asia equals seven. It is to do with scoring in Risk.

It's to do with the number of armies you collect

if you capture these continents.

And the top one would be Asia. If you occupy the whole of Asia,

you get seven extra armies.

So no points there. Edwards Family, please pick a question.

-Eye of Horus, please.

-OK.

What's the fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

-It could be anything.

-It could be Mars. Let's see.

Next.

-Gemini. No.

-Oh, the Space Shuttle.

It'll be Apollo next and then the Space Shuttle.

-It's manned American space...

-What comes...

-It's Space Shuttle. Apollo then Space Shuttle.

-OK.

BELL It'll be the Space Shuttle.

I'm afraid it won't be. I'll show the third to the Inorganic Chemists.

A possible bonus point available if you can tell me what is fourth.

-Columbia?

-No, Columbia's one of the space shuttles.

-Oh, erm...

-I can't give you a long time.

-Oh, erm, Columbia.

-I'm afraid that's not it.

They are NASA programs

in order of the years in which they made launches

and after Apollo it's Skylab.

That would be the next NASA program in that sequence.

Chemists, that leaves one question, the horned viper.

Your first clue is coming up now.

Laconia is Troy or Sparta.

-I think we'll go for the next one.

-Yeah.

Next, please.

Strong grass?

-Capital of Laconia. Laconia.

-I think we've got to go next.

Next, please.

-Box with a partner. Spar.

-Sparring.

So it's order. Say that is sparring.

Oh, Sparta,

-sparring.

-Ten seconds.

-OK.

-Sparta.

-Sparta...

-Sparring. P-P. Spa...

-Three seconds.

-Erm...

-BELL

-Erm, a spa, like a bath,

sort of spa type thing.

I feel like you're guessing, but you are correct

and I will give you the points. The capital of Laconia is Sparta.

Strong grass is known as spart.

You were saying sparring, but it doesn't say boxing with a partner.

Box with a partner, spar, S-P-A-R.

So the next one would be something that would be described as a spa,

like a bath or a health resort. Spa is the answer

disguised as something else. You get the points, well done,

meaning at the end of Round Two, the Inorganic Chemists have seven

but the Edwards Family are ahead with 12.

Onto Round Three, the connecting wall. A grid of 16 clues

that the teams must sort into four connected groups of four.

Inorganic Chemists, it will be your turn to go first this time.

Two and a half minutes to sort the wheat from the chaff.

You get points for the groups you find, points for the connections, bonus points if you get them all.

But beware the red herrings. You have a choice. Lion or water?

-We'd like the water wall, please.

-OK. The water wall is coming up

and your time starts now.

Mulan... Tiger Tiger...

Oh, we've got Disney films.

Bolt, Mulan, Cinderella, Fantasia, shall we try that?

-Is there anything else which is a Disney film?

-Tangled.

-Do you want me to key it in?

-You work through it. Let's look at the rest.

Maroon, cream...

-Ah.

-Good, OK. Bolt, level, fabric...

Shampoo? No, I don't know about that.

Heaven. Tiger Tiger. Like the Blake poem.

Gatecrasher. Right.

Ah, are they tools? Like a spirit level, a bolt...

-And what?

-Can I just try clubs?

Cream... Cream is a band.

Maroon 5 is a band.

Heaven... Oh, they're bands which have numbers following them.

So Level 42, Maroon 5, Heaven 17

and what else? I'm sure we can work out what the other one is

-through trial and error.

-You've used a minute.

-Fabric? Cream?

-Not Cream. Cream's a band on its own, isn't it?

-Er, Sham. Sham it is.

-Is it a band?

-I don't know.

-Right, now, the last ones.

-Three strikes and you're out, don't rush.

-Mask is a film.

-None of the others are.

-Lightning bolt?

-No.

-What about...

-Lightning test?

-Test.

It's got to be preceded by a word, so it's looking like it could be

-these five.

-Gatecrasher, Tiger Tiger, Mask and Po Na Na, do we think?

-Do we know what Po Na Na is?

-Face cream, face mask,

-face test?

-No.

-You've got a minute left.

-Should we make a guess or wait?

I think it's these five. It's fabric, bolt, cream, mask and test.

-Say we take these three.

-Yes.

-Bolt, fabric, cream, mask, test.

-I think it's going to be...

-Bolt looks like the one that's out...

-Mask?

Do you want to go for it?

-No.

-OK, so we'll take those three again.

-And try cream or bolt?

-Cream is also a club.

-Shall we go for that?

-30 seconds.

-Right.

-Let's thing about this.

-Mask, test... Mask or bolt?

-Think about words that might precede it.

That's nothing to do with cricket or matches.

-Cream's also a club. Let's say...

-Ten seconds now.

-Tiger Tiger is...

-Let's just go, shall we?

-I'd go Gatecrasher and Mask.

-Five seconds now. And the grid's frozen

because the three strikes are up.

Well done, you've got two groups, that's a couple of points. Bonus points for the connections.

Tangled, Mulan, Cinderella, Fantasia.

-Animated Disney films.

-They're all Disney films.

Level, Maroon, Sham, Heaven.

With a number added to the end, they're the names of pop groups

-or music groups.

-That's right. What are the numbers?

Maroon 5, certainly. Heaven 17.

-Yes.

-Sham 69.

-Level 42.

-Level 42 and Sham 69.

Those are the bands. OK, so you got those two points.

You can get connection points for the groups you didn't find, so let's resolve the wall.

There it is. Right, that pink group, Po Na Na, Fabric,

-Gatecrasher, Tiger Tiger.

-They're all clubs, nightclubs.

Yes. And I'm very pleased that you didn't manage to identify them,

so you're concentrating on your studies, time off for a Disney film,

no messing about in nightclubs. You've identified them now.

And that last group. Bolt, Cream, Mask, Test.

Can they all be preceded by sun?

I'm afraid they can't. Sun bolt, sun test.

It's not that. But you're so in the right universe.

They can all be preceded by something. It's eye.

Eye bolt, eye mask, eye cream, eye test.

That is the word that can go before all of them.

But you found two groups and you got three bonus points, a total of five.

Time to bring back the Edwards Family and see what they can do

with their trip to the connecting wall. You get the lion wall.

You've got two and a half minutes starting now.

OK, erm, have we got rugby positions?

We've got wing, prop, hooker and lock.

-Number 8.

-Number 8, OK.

There's also kitchen appliances.

Peeler, whisk, mandoline and spurtle for stirring porridge.

-It doesn't like that.

-Obviously not.

-What other options have we got?

OK, we could try doing an assault on the rugby positions.

Hooker...

-Shall we try the kitchen ones again, then?

-Ricer...

-Peeler, mandoline.

-Whisk?

Nope.

-OK, what other options have we got?

-OK, Peeler can be a policeman.

-Erm...

-I can't think of any more.

OK, felt. What could felt be? Is there any connections there?

Asparagus is obviously a vegetable.

I think a felt might be slang for a policeman, I'm not sure.

-What other options have we got?

-Peeler.

-You've used a minute.

-Ricer, is that a policeman?

-No idea.

-What would the other option for that be?

-Try lock maybe? Don't know.

-No.

-Let's go for asparagus.

-Asparagus...

-Er...

I really don't know.

-Ah, brilliant.

-OK. Erm...

-OK, that's...

-Er...

-Lock. OK, other options for...

-Other...

-Peeler, whisk...

We already tried those.

-Promenade...

-You've got about 45 seconds.

OK, asparagus seems to stick out on its own.

-Yes.

-What can we go with?

-It has a season. Tips.

-Tips.

-Felt tips.

-Filter tips.

-What's the other one?

-Er, rubbish tips.

-Brilliant!

-OK. We need to go quickly.

OK, well, peeler, whisk, spurtle, ricer.

-No?

-You've got two more attempts now.

-Careful.

-No.

-One more go.

Concert? Box seat, promenade seat.

-Promenade seat, box seat...

-You've got under ten seconds.

No. The wall has frozen. You found two groups, two points.

More points if you can tell me the connections.

Wing, prop, hooker, number 8.

-They're rugby positions.

-Positions in rugby.

Filter, asparagus, rubbish, felt.

-They all have tips.

-They can be followed by the word tip.

Points available for the groups you didn't find. Let's resolve the wall.

Peeler, spurtle, ricer, mandoline.

Kitchen appliances, kitchen, erm, utensils.

They're kitchen utensils, that's right.

Whisk, box, promenade, lock.

-I really don't know.

-I can't let you debate it.

-Pass on that one.

-Oh, concerts.

No, that's too long. I'm guessing you're not ballroom dancers.

They are steps in ballroom dancing.

But you found two groups and you got three bonus points,

that's a total of five. Let's see what that does to the scores

going into Round Four.

The Inorganic Chemists have got 12 points

but the Edwards Family are ahead with 17.

If you think you could've got maximum points on the wall,

go to the website and play one.

This season you can even make your own connecting wall.

We're going to play Round Four, the missing vowels round.

What are the hidden expressions, phrases, names or sayings

from which we've removed the vowels.

Simple as that. So teams, fingers on buzzers.

The first group are all...

-Apple Juice.

-Correct.

-Ice cream soda.

-Correct.

-Cafe latte.

-No. You lose a point. Bonus for the Edwards Family.

-Cafe au lait.

-That's right. You'd need two Ts for latte. Next clue.

-Lemonade.

-No. You'd need an N. You lose a point. Chemists for a bonus.

-Limeade.

-Limeade. Next category.

-Hogwarts Express.

-Correct.

-Black Beauty.

-Correct, not the horse, the car driven by the Green Hornet.

Next clue.

-Compact Pussycat.

-Correct.

-General Lee.

-From the Dukes of Hazzard.

Next category.

-Dublin and Liffey.

-Correct. Next clue.

-Melbourne and Yarra.

-Correct.

-Vienna and Danube.

-Correct.

-Baghdad and Tigris.

-Correct.

Next category.

-Airbrushing.

-Correct.

-Impasto.

-Correct.

-Aquatint.

-Correct.

-Decoupage.

-Correct. Next category.

-Mustard.

-I'm afraid that's not the answer. Edwards, possible bonus.

END OF ROUND JINGLE

The time is up. That last one was Mister Ed, the talking horse.

Wonder where Mustard came from.

It doesn't make a difference to the overall scores

because at the end of the quiz, the Inorganic Chemists have 15 points

but the winners with 27 points are the Edwards Family.

Very well done, Edwards Family. We'll see you in a quarterfinal.

Chemists, I'm afraid it's back to your studies. Thank you for playing.

Please join me next time because I'll have two more teams all dressed up and made up

answering my gruelling questions under the lights.

And fun though that is, it would be a bit weird if no-one was watching. Goodbye.

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