Analysts vs Antiquarians Only Connect

Hello, and welcome at last to the final of Only Connect -

very exciting night! Before we start, I'd like to thank everyone

who works behind the scenes here,

often without acknowledgement, like Gethin, who operates the scoreboard,

painstakingly updating the computer

every time a contestant scores a point.

I've looked through the questions for tonight's final, and Gethin, you can take the night off.

But you never know,

as we have two brilliant teams here who have faced terrifying opposition

to get to the final, so let's say congratulations and hello again to,

on my right, Paul Steeples,

a civil servant and classical music aficionado,

with an interest in architectural art,

William De Ath, a maths graduate and business analyst

with a passion for motorbikes,

And their captain, David Lea, a political risk analyst

and accomplished linguist who enjoys rugby and cricket.

They beat the Editors, Technologists and the Trade Unionists

to win a place in the final - the Analysts.

You've had some tough opposition. Who do you think your hardest competitors were?

As you say, they were all pretty close games,

so I'm tempted to be boring and say all of them, but I'll pick

the Technologists, because they were very tough -

fast on the buzzer and we were very pleased to squeak by them by a single point.

Any knowledge areas you hope won't come up tonight?

I'm hoping not to pick a picture round. Let's just say that.

Well, it's a 5-1 shot.

Tonight, you are facing, on my left, Simon Belcher,

a science communications graduate

and enthusiastic collector of old maps,

Debbie Challis, a UCL academic who enjoys visiting 19th century ruins

and reading Gothic novels,

and their captain Will Howells, a digital media manager,

composer of the brilliant Only Connect dolphin song,

with an interest in Edwardian theatre. They've met

the Fantasy Footballers, the Social Networkers

and the Listeners on their journey,

and beaten them all. They are the Antiquarians.

Dolphins to you.

How are the Antiquarians feeling ahead of the final?

We started off relaxed. Then we were nervous. Now we're excited,

and at the end of the show,

we'll know what the last one in the sequence is.

It's not going to be an easy quiz tonight.

It's not going to be an easy round one.

Nevertheless, we have to play it. It's in the rules.

I just want to know, teams,

what's the connection between four apparently random clues?

Simple as that. Antiquarians, you won the toss, so you go first.

-Which question would you like?

-Eye of Horus, please.

-Good luck.

Your first clue is coming up now.

They're replacing it at the moment

with an egg-shaped thing that they rotate in time

-with the way the wheel turns.

-Next?

It's not got tram things. It's not the same kind of car.

-Oh. Like a funicular railway?

-Next.

Any idea? They don't have a 13? There's no 13th avenue, no 13th row.

-That could be right, yeah.

-Shall we take the last one?

I say go for it.

BELL

There's no number 13.

You're absolutely right.

The last clue would have been One Canada Square.

There's no 13th floor there. No 13th capsule on the London Eye.

There are 32 of them, but they're numbered 1-33, with no 13.

Avenue in San Francisco -

between 12th and 14th, they usually give them a name.

And on Lufthansa, no 13th row.

Well done, you have two points. Your turn, Analysts, to pick a question.

Two reeds, please.

I'm afraid it's bad news, Analysts. This is going to be picture clues.

The first one is coming up now.

That's the tarot card of justice.

Next, please.

-An organisation?

-I don't think so.

OK. Next, please.

Justice...

Union Jack...

Next, please.

Five seconds.

-Right way up?

-I'm afraid you're out of time, so there's a possible bonus

-for the Antiquarians.

-We think they're bad or unlucky

-if they're upside down.

-You're absolutely right.

Luck is the theme again. These are things

held to be unlucky if upside down.

-Do you know what the first picture is?

-A tarot card.

That one's specifically the Justice card. If it's upside down,

it's supposed to be injustice. What about a union flag?

A ship in distress is told it should fly its Union Flag upside down.

That's a signal of distress. And a horseshoe -

if you hang that upside down, the luck falls out.

Some people think that's lucky,

because the luck falls on you. What are these people, fools?

Obviously, that's unlucky.

And thumbs down is a bad sign. They all mean

something bad when upside down.

You're the right way up at the moment.

Which question would you like?

The twisted flax, please.

Your first clue is coming up now.

June 4th.

Next.

Is that a slogan for something? Are they political parties?

-June 4th, it's not a Labour thing?

-Next.

-I don't think so.

Falun Gong, a cult? They were trying to overthrow...

-Next.

-Aren't they parties?

Are they all in China? Chinese political parties?

-They could be political...

-Are there that many in China?

Five seconds.

BELL

Chinese political parties.

That is not what they are.

There's a bonus chance for the Analysts.

-Banned Chinese dissident movements?

-That's not it either.

You're both in the right area.

These are search terms on the internet banned by China.

Falun Gong is a belief system banned in China,

as is the Tibet Independence Movement.

Reform Through Labour is a controversial practice.

It's a sort of hard labour practice by the Chinese.

-Why would June 4th be banned?

-Tiananmen Square.

June 4th was the date of the 1989 protest in Tiananmen Square.

-Analysts, pick a question.

-Lion, please.

Your first clue coming up now.

THEY CONFER

Next please.

-About the same time.

-Was he born outside Ireland?

Yes. He was born in the US.

-Do you want to try it?

-Let's go for it.

BELL

Leaders of countries who were born outside the country.

That is exactly the connection.

Country leaders born outside the countries they led.

Can you tell me about the two clues you saw?

-Bonar Law was born in Canada.

-Yeah.

He was and he was a briefly

serving British Prime Minister.

And Dev was born in the United States.

The Irish Taoiseach was actually born in America.

Julia Gillard from Australia,

but born in Wales.

And Adolf Hitler of course Austrian.

Well done. Coming in after just

two clues, you get three points.

Back to The Antiquarians.

-Water please.

-What is the connection here? First clue coming up now.

THEY CONFER

Next.

It looks like it's something from the letters.

Is it they all move one along on the keyboard?

-Maybe.

-Yeah, that's what it is.

BELL

The first word becomes the second word if you move it

one letter to the right on a typewriter keyboard.

Brilliant.

This is a very tough question.

If you retype all of these words one key to the right

they become the next one.

We would have seen,

I think my favourite clue,

WAXIER becomes ESCORT.

SWEET becomes DERRY. Yes. Retype them one key to the right,

that's what they become.

Very good for three points. Back to you, Analysts.

Only one question remaining.

The music question.

You will be hearing

some musical clues starting now.

# You hear laughter cracking through the walls... #

-Is that Siouxsie?

-Yes.

Next please.

# Every time you kiss me I'm still not certain... #

-Suspicion.

-Is it?

-Yeah.

-"Suspicion torments my heart", yeah.

-OK. Will we go for it?

-No.

-OK.

Next please.

# It's dark, the jungle is your head... #

Elevation. What's the Siouxsie song?

Next please.

# Notorious... #

-30 seconds.

-Hitchcock films.

BELL

Hitchcock films.

The titles of those songs are also the titles

of Alfred Hitchcock films.

Very well done. What did you hear?

Siouxsie And The Banshees was the first one.

We were not sure about that.

The song is called Spellbound.

-Yes.

-Suspicion.

Elvis Presley, Suspicion.

-Elevation by U2.

-Ooh. Vertigo.

-Was it? OK.

-Sorry. And Notorious.

-Notorious by Duran Duran.

All share their titles with Hitchcock movies. Well done.

Looking at the scores

at the end of round one

of the final,

The Analysts have got four points

but The Antiquarians are ahead with six.

Round two is about sequences.

There are still four clues but the teams may see a maximum of three

because I want to know what comes fourth in the sequence.

Antiquarians, you go first.

Which question would you like?

-Eye of Horus please.

-Eye of Horus.

OK. What do you think is fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Next.

THEY CONFER

-Shakespeare or something.

-The next.

The Matchmaker. Are they particular adaptations?

THEY CONFER

Ten seconds.

What could be the next?

Three seconds.

No? Analysts do you want

to have a go for a bonus point?

Fiddler On The Roof.

No, that is not right,

but why do you say so?

We think there is some sort of Jewish, Yiddish connection.

I think you probably had

the right idea.

They are successive adaptations of the same work.

If I tell you that Einen Jux will er sich machen

is a play by Johann Nestroy, it's translated as He Will Go On A Spree,

Thornton Wilder adapted this into

The Merchant Of Yonkers,

He adapted it again into

The Matchmaker and that story was turned by Jerry Herman into

-a musical, Hello, Dolly!

-Hello, Dolly! Yes.

-Hello, Dolly!

They are successive adaptations of the same story.

No points there. Analysts, you may choose

your own question.

-Lion, then, please.

-I can't tell you anything good here, I'm afraid.

You'll see some pictures. What will you see in the fourth picture?

The first one is coming up now.

-Stein.

-OK. Next, please.

Oh, I know. It's football managers.

-Busby.

-Um...

-Scottish? European football managers.

Stein, Busby, Paisley...

-There's somebody else, after Busby, before...

-Oh, Clough?

-OK.

-10 seconds.

-Do you want to see the next one or not?

-Yeah...

It must be Clough, mustn't it?

-Brian Clough.

-A picture of a Clough.

-A picture of what?

-A Clough.

-A Clough.

A Clough being...?

-We're not quite sure.

-I'm toying with you

like a cat with a mouse, as I so enjoy,

especially at the final stage, I am going to give you the points.

British winning managers of the European cup.

A stein for Jock Stein. Busby for Matt Busby,

and then Bob Paisley. He won twice, so I would have accepted Paisley.

But I was hoping for somebody who shared a name with Brian Clough.

We went with Clough Williams Ellis,

-who was, of course...

-He designed Portmeirion.

-He did.

You get three points, very well done. Back to the Antiquarians.

-Two reeds.

-The first in the sequence is going to be shown,

I want to know what's fourth. Time starts now.

I hope it's not just the sequence of stars. Or it's the letter? Next.

-Getting bigger?

-I'd say white dwarf is probably...

They go from main sequence to red supergiant?

-Yeah.

-Shall we get the next one first?

-No, go for white dwarf.

-Are you sure?

I think we need to take the risk. I will be killed if we get it wrong.

It could be black hole. We'll go for white dwarf?

OK, you're the astronomy GCSE person!

Simon, who is doing astronomy GCSE, says that it's a white dwarf,

-so I'm going to trust him.

-You're not doing it soon, are you?

That's not the answer. Possible bonus to the Analysts.

You may see the third one.

And can you tell me what's fourth?

If it's large enough, it will collapse to...

It depends how big it is, either a neutron star

or a black hole, depending on the size of the star involved.

Black hole.

I'm going to accept it.

We went with neutron star, but it could be either.

These are stages in the life cycle of a massive star or large sun,

and so I'm going to give you the points for black hole.

-You're doing what, astronomy GCSE?

-Yes, at Greenwich.

That's rather brilliant.

This is the contestant we like, they do voluntary GCSEs in astronomy.

I'm now in a very good mood.

Bonus points to you, Analysts, you may pick your own question.

-Twisted flax, please.

-Twisted flax, first in a sequence coming up now.

Next, please.

HE MUMBLES

Next, please.

-10 seconds.

-OK.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

Three seconds.

TWS = 10.

I'm afraid that's not the answer.

-So now it's the Antiquarians who have the chance of a bonus.

-TWS = 5.

You're both wrong. That's amazing, because it is TWS, but TWS = 8.

And I will tell you why. This is to do with Scrabble.

Double letter scores, 24 on a Scrabble board.

Double word scores, there are 17, triple letter scores, 12,

and triple word scores, there are eight.

You both went TWS without knowing why.

-Well, it was DLS, DWS, TLS, TWS.

-Makes no sense to me at all.

Lucky I'm not on either of the teams. Right, Antiquarians,

-your turn to choose a question.

-Horned viper.

First in the sequence coming up now.

Is this Civilisation, the game Civilisation,

-stages of...

-Could be that, or it could be...um...

Next.

Oh, is it not what Marx calls the stages of civilisation?

-Go for the next one.

-Next.

Socialism, yeah, then he says it's Marxism. Or it's communism.

-You sure?

-Yeah, he calls it a feudal state, capitalist state.

-So communism?

-Yeah, unless you think it's something else.

-Communism.

This is Marx's analysis of society's development,

moving inexorably to communism.

After that, of course, the McDonald's era.

And the final question

will go to the analysts, it's water.

What would be fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

Where's that?

Next, please.

Are we moving down?

-We don't know where that is.

-I think we are.

-OK.

-Next.

Next, please.

Oh, this is terrible.

I don't know... I don't know!

They're not states, are they?

Well, Illinois's got four stars on it.

-It's not right, cos that's red.

-Five seconds.

The flag of Panama or something.

The flag of Panama.

I believe your team-mate told you to say the flag of Panama or something.

-Yes, I did.

-It is the flag of Panama. Why is it?

We think it's moving down central America,

one coast or t'other, I'm not sure which one.

Exactly, countries in the isthmus of central America moving south.

I didn't think you'd get that and you suddenly did.

Well done. At the end of Round Two, then.

The Antiquarians have eight points,

but the Analysts, despite several picture questions, have got 10.

Time for a fiendish final Connecting Wall,

and if you're feeling spiky, you can play it simultaneously at home.

The Analysts are playing first here. I'm going to offer you the choice.

-Lion or water?

-Lion, please.

OK, you have got 2.5 minutes to solve the wall starting now.

So, we've got Pope.

-Was he deposed?

-Not sure.

There's somebody who was deposed.

-Farouk was deposed as well.

-Idi Amin was deposed.

-BUZZ

-Try Pius, maybe?

Were any popes deposed?

-OK. Serpico, that's a film.

-Yes.

Are they true crime ones? Cos Zodiac was that thing about

-the Son of Sam.

-Blow?

-Precious was based on a true story.

Blow possibly was.

So's Buster though, actually. Try Zodiac though.

BUZZ OK.

We left Buster out.

BUZZ

Aureus, that's a coin.

That's a coin, that's a coin.

-A Napoleon's a coin, isn't it?

-Yeah.

You've used one minute, and you've got three attempts.

Omar...

Who's Omar?

The only one I can think of was from whatsitsname.

-The Wire?

-The Wire.

-Yeah.

-Ohhh...

-We've still got this crime thing though, haven't we?

-What are the nominees?

-Well, there's crime ones and true stories ones.

Zodiac, Blow, Precious, Serpico, Buster.

-Melody, Moses, Omar not.

-Not that I'm aware of.

What possible set are they?

-We can't afford to...

-No.

You've got a minute left.

-Um...

-Well, Ser....

Precious McKenzie...um...

Douglas? No.

Which one's not... Precious is not crime particularly, though, is it?

No, it's a true story, though.

I don't know whether Serpico necessarily is a true story?

You got 30 seconds.

That's it.

You've solved the wall. Well done.

Four points then for the groups. What about the connections?

Pius VI, King Farouk, Idi Amin, James II.

I want nice, precise answers.

They all died in exile?

That's what I wanted to hear. Next group.

Napoleon, Sequin, Double Eagle, Aureus.

Em, coins.

A valuable gold coin?

They're all types of gold coin.

The Napoleon you didn't recognise? It's a French one.

It was worth 20 Francs.

And the next one. Zodiac, Buster, Blow, Serpico.

Em... Crime movies

based on true stories?

Crime films based on true crimes. Know the crimes or criminals?

Buster Edwards was the Great Train Robber.

Serpico was

a true life detective in New Zealand, I think?

He was a policeman who blew the whistle on corruption.

Zodiac was a serial killer - in California, I think.

The Zodiac Killer, that's absolutely right. And Blow?

Something to do with drug importing, I think.

-Blow was about the cocaine market in the 1970s.

-OK.

All films based on true crime.

And the last group. Melody, Precious, Moses and Omar.

We'll say characters from The Wire.

SHE LAUGHS

That's so beautifully close and yet so incredibly far away.

There are characters from Come Fly With Me,

the Matt Lucas and David Walliams spoof airline series.

Pretty much on the same level(!)

It's a similar tone to The Wire, but I'm saying it's different

-as it's a British show.

-Fair enough.

-Nevertheless, an excellent score for a final.

You found four groups, you told me three connections. That's a total of seven.

Let's see what the Antiquarians can do with the Connecting Wall.

It'll be equally difficult, but it will still feature

16 jumbled-up clues which they must sort back into four groups.

OK, Antiquarians. It's the Water Wall for you.

You've got two and a half minutes to solve it - starting now.

-Car Wash is a dance.

-Foxing - is that when cloth wears away?

-Caryatid is a statue.

-Yeah.

Are they things you have on the side of books?

-Bookworm...

-Something that eats books.

-Dog ears and books?

-Yeah, try those.

Oh yeah, Dog eared will be the same as Foxing then.

Because that's another word for wearing away.

BUZZ What else might you do in a book?

BUZZ Caryatid is a statue.

-BUZZ

-Piloti - isn't he an architect?

Piloti - is that the name of a font?

Are these characters in something?

Dr B Ching, Remote Controller, Super Fly...

BUZZ

Foxy Brown's a character in something.

-Shaft is as well.

-Car Wash is a song. Is that in that film?

-Car Wash...

What else is a song?

-They're characters in something.

-I think they're songs.

You've used a minute.

Dog eared and Foxing

-is when something starts to fray at the edges.

-OK.

Damages to different things, like books. OK, right...

That's a statue.

Yeah. Try Piloti, that...

The statue of a woman - it's used in an architectural standing.

Pilaster is another...

-Try Pilaster and Stanchion and just see...

-We only have three goes.

What are these? Are those songs or are they characters in something?

I think they're bands, aren't they?

Shaft and Super Fly?

Car Wash is a type of dance.

-Shall we go for Stanchion?

-Try that.

-Yeah.

You've solved the wall. Very well done.

With one confident, final press, you solved the wall.

That's four points and you can get more, of course,

for telling me the connections.

Super Fly, Foxy Brown, Car Wash, Shaft.

They're kind of disco things, aren't they?

Disco.

I think you're a bit young.

I think it maybe is a bit before your time.

-They are Blaxploitation movies - from the 1970s.

-Oh...

Next one - Foxing, Sunned, Marginalia, Dog ears.

They're ways that books can be damaged.

Right. Ways in which books can be damaged.

We don't approve of that, but give you the point.

What about this one?

Piloti, Pilaster, Stanchion, Caryatid.

They're architectural items.

They're sculptural things in architecture.

Sculptured architecture?

Tell me precisely what you mean.

-Caryatid is...

-Think figures.

-Caryatid is used in architecture.

It is not just a figure, it's used to keep something up.

-So supports.

-Ornamental architectural forms.

-We're all over the place!

-You've fumbled your way

towards some sort of answer I accept. Architectural supports.

And the last one.

Slicker, Bookworm, Dr B Ching, Remote Controller.

-I think they're villains.

-Fictional villains.

-All villains?

I suppose in a way they are. They are columnists in Private Eye.

-Oh...

-Of course.

You get four points for the groups you found

and two extra points for the connections. That's a total of six.

Let's see what it does to the scores going into Round Four.

The Antiquarians have got 14 points,

but the Analysts are ahead with 17.

Just a three point gap then as we go into the missing vowels round.

This is where the championship will be decided.

Fingers on buzzers, teams.

The first category are all...

oxymorons.

-Analysts.

-Definite maybe.

-Correct.

-Analysts.

-Open secret.

-Correct.

-Analysts.

-Resident alien.

-Correct.

Don't know this one? It's exact estimate.

Next category...strategies.

-Analysts.

-Queen sacrifice.

In chess, correct.

Analysts.

-Mutual assured destruction.

-From nuclear politics, correct.

More obscure, this one.

It's a cake cutting strategy - I cut, you choose.

Next clue.

-Analysts.

-Feint.

-In military tactics, correct.

Next category, 15-letter words.

-Analysts.

-Entrepreneurial.

-Yes, it is.

-Analysts.

-Ophthalmologists.

-Correct.

END-OF-ROUND BUZZER

That final clue is unascertainable, but I think the result might not be.

In second place, very credible result, not easy on this show,

with 14 points, it's the Antiquarians.

But the winners and new champions of Only Connect, with 25 points,

it's the Analysts.

THEY CLAP

Very well done, Analysts.

You get a beautiful trophy to take home. Well done to you, Antiquarians.

You've been a brilliant team. And it's all over.

The main tournament is finished.

Still a few specials to come,

but, for tonight, all that remains

is our multi-million-pound closing ceremony.

Always the best bit. Goodbye.

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