Quiz show in which links must be made between seemingly random things. Three people who row together take on a trio of ladies with a passion for languages.
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Hello, and welcome to Only Connect,
the closest BBC Four gets to the X Factor.
There's no singing, but people do come from all over the country
to have their dreams crushed and their confidence shattered.
But it's all done from love, because like Simon Cowell,
we're looking for that certain indefinable something.
And when I say "indefinable",
I mean completely definable, precise, exact, correct clues.
So, let's see whose soul might be broken forever tonight.
On my right, it's Jason Gray, an Oxford History graduate
and former rowing coach who now works as a marketing manager.
Dominic Guinness, an IT development manager who enjoys gardening
and attends the Henley Regatta each year.
And their captain, Chris Harrison, a software developer who enjoys
rowing, running and cycling in his spare time.
Did you spot the hidden connection?
Yes, they are the Rowers,
and they've all been in a boat together for over ten years.
Presumably you've got the teamwork sorted.
What are your other strengths?
Well, we are used to being told what to do
by a short, shouty person at the other end,
so hopefully we can survive without them.
I can be the short, shouty person in this crew.
I've had plenty of practise.
Let's see who you're rowing against tonight.
On my left, Joanne Edwards,
a subject librarian for Hispanic Studies
and accomplished ballroom dancer who's learning Portuguese.
Jo Moore, an MSc student at UCL who speaks French, Italian,
Mandarin Chinese, and is learning Spanish in her lunchtimes.
And their captain, Charlie Lythgoe,
an assistant at the Taylor Institute library in Oxford, who volunteers
for Amnesty International and speaks fluent German.
They speak seven languages between them, they are the Linguists.
Now, most of our questions tend to be in English here.
How confident are you that you've got the bases covered?
Er, I think between us we've got all the bases covered.
My degree's in English, so I think that'll help.
And you know, a good grounding in languages helps at least
understand most of the words, even if we can't understand the connections.
I don't mean you to get complacent, Rowers.
The questions aren't DEFINITELY in English.
There might be a Chinese one coming up.
Usually not till the quarter-final stage, but you never know.
Round one comes first, they usually do in these things.
Here, I want to know what is the connection
between four clues, although if you see
fewer than four and give me the right answer,
you'll get more points.
Linguists, you won the toss so you'll be going first.
Please choose...ah, here's a new language! An Egyptian hieroglyph.
-Twisted Flax, please.
-Twisted Flax. OK. The first one's coming up now.
1970 Australian nickel. Is that a currency rather than a metal?
It's got a small N, though.
Things that were made out of certain things,
and when they changed to be made out of something else?
It's a bit vague, isn't it? Next?
-When they came to Britain, or...?
OK, that's excellent, yeah!
When they first came to Britain. OK, yup.
We think this is the year that these first came to Britain.
I'm afraid it's not the year
they first came to Britain.
I'm going to show the first clue to the Rowers,
a possible bonus point available.
Yeah, um, bubbles. Stock market crashes.
They are economic bubbles.
They're the years that economic bubbles burst.
The dot com I think was the giveaway, the last one there.
Tulips, in the Netherlands in 1637, that was the first one.
First recorded economic bubble, boom and bust.
Well done. You may now
choose your own question.
-I think we should start with Water, please.
-OK, you probably should!
Let's see if you can sail along this one. First clue coming up now.
SS-GB. That was a Len Deighton novel, wasn't it?
It was an alternative future.
Shall we go...next!
Peace In Our Time. That's going to be a quote from...
But isn't it novels with alternative futures?
-SS-GB was where the Germans won the war.
-But is it specifically German?
-Er...do we want another one?
Another one, please. Next.
Never heard of it.
-Never heard of that one.
-Should we get the last one?
-Should we get the last one?
-Let's get the last one.
Um, novels with alternative futures, or based on an alternative future.
So in Fatherland and SS-GB, the Germans won the war.
And the novel is based subsequent to that.
So maybe in this one, the Germans won the war in all of these novels.
I'll take that. Not all novels,
but I'll give it to you
for that specific bit. They are all stories
with an alternative vision of what would have happened
if the Axis powers had won the war.
SS-GB you knew, that's the Len Deighton novel.
The second one's a play by Noel Coward.
The Man In The High Castle is a novel by Philip K Dick
and the last one, Robert Harris. But all stories
which are alternative histories of World War II. So well done.
-Back to you, Linguists, to pick your own question.
OK, these are going to be picture clues.
What's the connection. First one coming up now.
-Some kind of... Is it a lily?
-I'm not sure...
It looks like a lily pad. Yeah, it does, doesn't it?
Is that a Lotus... Lotus?
-Or aquatic flower, maybe?
-Shall we try another one?
-Some sort of vegetable?
Is it a vegetable or a fruit?
-It could be... I don't know.
-Should we see the fourth one?
-That's the lotus position.
Lotus is the connection, I wish you'd come in after two clues.
You're looking at a lotus flower, Lotus sports car,
a lotus root is that third one, and the lotus position.
So you're off the blocks with a point
-and back to you, Rowers, to pick a hieroglyph.
-Two Reeds, please.
OK. First clue coming up now.
It's a Judo throw.
It ends the bout. So is it going to be Judo...
Erm, that's when you check out in cribbage.
-It's the end of the game.
-So it ends a hand, or wins the game.
Are they things that end a round, or end a hand,
or end a move in games?
That's not the answer, but it ends your round on this question.
Your opponents have a chance of a bonus.
I'll show you two more clues, Linguists.
You get the lowest points...
for that particular move.
That is not the case either.
I'm sad to discover that none of you really are cribbage players.
-It's just one point.
Because obviously, you can get no points,
that would be the lowest score.
One for his nob, they say.
That's when you've got the jack of the suit
that the turn card is in.
Ippon in Judo, you get one point,
Z in Polish Scrabble only worth one, because they've got so many of them.
And cleverly, look, this clue that is the one-point clue...
It should be this question, because that clue takes a point away,
but had you got as far as the fourth one,
it would've been worth one point.
You see the clever little trick there.
But no points, as it turned out.
Linguists, please, pick a hieroglyph.
-The Horned Viper.
Ah, that means it's going to be the music question.
You'll be hearing your clues. The first one's going to come in now.
-It's like a chant, isn't it?
JAZZ PIANO MUSIC PLAYS
# It's a jungle out there
# Disorder and confusion everywhere... #
Is this from a Disney film?
# No-one seems to care... # And next.
# Ra-ra Rasputin
-# Lover of the Russian Queen... #
# There was a cat that really was gone... #
A bit of a guess. They're all about Russia.
I'm afraid they're not all about Russia.
-Possible bonus for you now, Rowers.
-Are they all about monks.
The connection is monks. They're not all about monks.
The first one was sung by monks, you heard Angelus ad Pastores.
Blue Monk was the second piece, by Thelonious Monk.
Third one, not from a Disney film, it was The Monk TV series.
That was a theme from Randy Newman.
And the last one about Rasputin, the mad monk. Monks is the connection,
so that was a bonus for the Rowers
and you will now get the Eye Of Horus, the last remaining question.
First clue coming up now.
Is it a play on the letters in it?
Hell's a place in Norway, isn't it?
-You're under ten seconds now.
I'm not sure on this one.
Nope, you're out of time.
See how nicely we follow the monks with whore and hell!
-Don't let things get too holy.
Possible bonus for you now, Linguists.
Now, this a very nasty, very Only Connect-type question.
It's about the words -
whore, hell, were and cant.
If you insert apostrophes into them,
they turn into completely different words.
Who're, he'll, we're, can't.
The putting in of that little piece of punctuation
changes the pronunciation and the meaning.
So, at the end of round one,
the Linguists have got one point,
but the Rowers are ahead with three points.
Round two is all about sequences. This time, work out the connection,
but then tell me what would be the fourth clue in a sequence.
Linguists, you're first to choose.
Eye Of Horus, please.
OK, the Eye Of Horus.
First in a sequence coming up. What will be forth? Starting now.
What is that? It sounds Japanese.
I'm not sure if it's a name or something. Next.
Again, no idea.
Definitely Japanese, but not sure if these are Japanese islands, or...
No, I don't know.
-The current emperor of Japan?
-I can't remember his name.
-Three seconds. Buzz in if you want to guess.
No, the time is up.
Rowers, do you want to have a go?
Is it Akihito?
Yes, it is Akihito.
Did you know what the connection was?
-They're Japanese emperors.
-They are the personal names
of Japanese emperors going forwards,
and Akihito would be the last one.
Well done, Rowers, for the bonus point.
-You may now choose your own question.
OK, what's the fourth in this sequence? First one coming up now.
Fourth, Yangtze. Is it going to be rivers?
The length river, or...
Is it by length, or by...
Shall we get the next one?
Do you want to see one more?
Or by capacity.
Number of coasts?
-First - Nile.
-I'm afraid not.
You guessed a river incorrectly.
Possible bonus for you, Linguists.
-First - Amazon?
-You know what?
In a quiz, if it's not Nile
it's usually Amazon.
Amazon is the correct answer. Do you know why?
Possibly longest by length,
but I don't understand why Nile isn't on there.
-I think there's a bit of a catch.
-Well, there is a catch.
It's measured by size,
but not by length.
-It's amount of water.
-It's amount of water.
By discharge - the volume of water
emptied into the sea, and the first would be Amazon.
-Fancy tackling that in a rowing boat - the Amazon?
-Oh, all of it, yeah!
-All four of those?
-We could do a couple of widths.
It would be fun, the bit where you're discharged into the sea
with the greatest volume of water in the world. Worth a try.
That was a bonus point for the Linguists
-and you may now pick a question.
First in a sequence coming up. What's fourth?
Time starts now.
It's not atoms or something? The periodic table.
I mean, A...
-It's not Scrabble?
-Oh, Scrabble! That's quite nice.
We're going to have to say next, though, aren't we? Next.
Oh, it's symmetry! Look.
They're all symmetrical, vertically symmetrical.
So M... M?
-It is M. And the reason?
They're going in order. They're letters that are symmetrical,
around a vertical axis.
Right. Letters with vertical symmetry
going forward through the alphabet. Next is M. Well done.
-And back to the Rowers.
-Two Reeds, please.
Another watery question for you.
First in a sequence, coming up now.
-We need another one.
Is it going to be a word one?
Proportion's got two words in it. Therefore's got four in it.
The fourth in the sequence, isn't it? So...
It's decimal point.
A decimal point is an acceptable answer. Well done. Why is that?
They are in descending order of the number of dots.
-They're mathematical symbols.
Mathematical symbols. Proportion is represented by four dots
in a square.
Therefore - three in a triangle.
Ratio - a colon, of course, two dots.
I wanted something with one dot as a mathematical symbol. Decimal point.
Well done. Linguists, you've got two questions left to choose from.
First in a sequence coming up. What's fourth?
Time starts now.
-That's a subject.
-Titles of books?
-That's what I thought.
The Power Of Suggestion?
I don't know.
Psychology's a subject,
but suggestion and misdirection aren't.
-That game where you give somebody the wrong idea?
Not the answer, I'm afraid. A possible bonus for the Rowers.
Sleight of hand?
That's not it either.
You're both in the right universe
but I need something very precise,
which is showmanship.
I think you're thinking about magic.
These are specifically Derren Brown's techniques.
Or, as he describes them,
"magic we don't see", that's the the first one.
According to Derren Brown, what comes next for him -
suggestion, psychology, misdirection and showmanship.
Some would say it's all showmanship, obviously.
But not me, I wouldn't, no, no,
I'm sure it's all true, and it's mostly magic.
Rowers, only one question remaining, the Horned Viper.
It's going to slither over into your corner. These will be picture clues.
What would you expect to see in the fourth picture?
First clue coming up, now.
A chef sign? Could be anything.
Um, next, please.
Um, he's a robber.
Butcher, baker, baker, thief, baker, robber?
Baker and thief.
Yeah, but that's not...
Yeah, then, thief is the last one. Next, please.
-Oh, yes! The Cook,
The Thief, His Wife and...
Um, Her Lover,
ie, some suitable-for-primetime- viewing depiction of her lover.
You'll be relieved to hear we've kept it clean!
It is The Cook, The Thief, His Wife And Her Lover.
It's so clean, it's actually a picture of the wife
with a fellow with a briefcase.
That's how polite it is. Absolutely right, though.
That's how you identify lovers.
Quite interesting to marry a thief, then take a businessman as a lover.
Yes, it's The Cook, The Thief, His Wife And Her Lover,
the Peter Greenaway film.
So very well done. At the end of round two, then,
the Linguists have got four points,
but the Rowers are ahead with eight.
Time for round three, the Connecting Wall,
the fiendish grid with 16 clues on it
that the teams have to sort into four connected groups of four.
Rowers, it's your turn to go first and your first choice
is Lion or Water.
OK, the Lion wall, beware the red herrings.
You've got two and a half minutes to solve it, starting now.
-Danny Boyle films.
The Beach is a Danny Boyle film.
Sunshine is a Danny Boyle film,
Millions, I think, is a Danny Boyle film?
Well done. Well done.
We've got world, galaxy...
Picasso is a make of car, as is Galaxy. Alhambra.
As is a Scenic, they're all Renaults.
They're all SUVs, aren't they, they're all people movers and stuff.
OK, Bros is a band.
-Not with a dot, though.
Is it Warner? Disney?
No. Fixative is used in...
photography and such, isn't it? Absolute zero?
Remember, three strikes and you're out now.
64 is eight squared, the number of a chessboard.
I don't know - here we go.
I've got, I can't even pair any of them, let alone make a four.
You've used a minute.
Note, is it note perfect?
New world? New, um...
-I can only think of the Beatles song.
-When I'm 64.
Absolute...vodka? Absolute zero.
I feel like fixative and soliflore because that sounds light-based,
and if fixative is camera-based as well...
That could be, 64 could be something along those lines.
-And then absolute, it'd be absolute, I think.
-Absolute and 64.
What's the rest of it going to be?
It's not that anyway.
-Two more attempts.
Well, New World...
Land of something, World of...
You have 40 seconds left.
-Musical note, Musical World?
This is... I can't even pair most of these.
-Brothers Karamazov? No. The, the...
Warner Brothers? Is there a...
Disneyland, Disney World, Disney Brothers?
No, is it Disney Brothers? It's not Disney Brothers.
No. Yeah, Disneyland, Disney World, but, uh, yeah.
About 10 seconds for your last attempt.
-End of the world.
-Land's End. World's end.
Absolute end. And endnote.
I am afraid that's it. The grid is frozen.
You got two groups. That's two points immediately.
What about the connection? Sunshine, Millions, 127 Hours, The Beach.
-Films. Danny Boyle films.
Next one. Galaxy, Scenic, Picasso, Alhambra.
Cars. Or specifically, large cars, family cars. People carriers.
I'll take it. MPVs, I believe they're called.
That is correct, so that's the two bonus points.
You can get points for connections in the groups you didn't find.
Let's resolve the wall.
World. 64. Land. Bros.
I still don't have much of a clue.
It's the kind of thing that if you don't know, you don't know.
Disney World? Or...
All boy bands. Yeah, no.
It is unlucky if it's outside your radar.
They are Super Mario games.
-Do you know what?
Healthy lads like yourself, out rowing in all weathers -
what do you want with computer games? Last group.
Note. Absolute. Fixative. Soliflore.
I just thought of some kind of adhesive. But that's all I had.
-Type of glues?
-No, I'm afraid not.
They are terms used in perfumery.
In perfume-making. Tricky couple of last categories there.
But you found two groups and you got two points
for the connections, a total of four.
Time to bring back the Linguists and see what they can do with
the Connecting Wall. It's a completely new wall.
Linguists, you must sort it into four connected groups of four.
It's going to be the Water wall, because the Lion's gone already.
You've got two and a half minutes, starting now.
OK, Jam Tarts you can obviously eat. Sheridan is a playwright.
-We've got Wilde as well.
Oh, look, there's...
-Yeah. There's Murphy's law.
-Yeah. Violet and daisy. Bairns is children. It's Scottish.
-Shall we try the four...?
Daisy? Where's the other one?
What's Caley Thistle? Do you think they're all...?
Could be, yeah.
-Or Rose of England. Caley Thistle could be for Scottish.
Radar is a palindrome. Nothing else is.
And it's also short for something.
-It's an acronym.
Jags could be...
Jags is also a nickname of a politician.
Yeah, Two Jags. Tommy Sheridan is...
I wish I could get the playwrights. We've got Beckett, Wilde, Shaw...
-Shall we try some more?
-We tried that.
Murphy's also plausible.
A plausible surname.
Thumb... Tom Thumb?
-Tommy Sheridan, Tom Thumb.
-Any more Toms? Not sure.
-Hyacinth Bucket was a character...
But we are just going down flowers again.
-Is Caley Thistle perhaps like a dance?
-Yes, could be.
Ceilidh is a dance, but it's spelt differently to that.
-Weather man, weather...
-Is it rhyming slang?
-Yeah, Jam Tarts, Caley Thistle...
-Hyacinth doesn't rhyme with anything.
Tom Thumb... Er... Tom Thumb...
-Silent letter at the end.
Oh, that's interesting. Silent letter, yeah.
-I don't think so, though.
You have a weather... Weather forecast. Weather report.
What's jags, why's it plural...? Is that short for...?
Unless it's... It's not an anagram of anything.
-10 seconds now.
-Shall we just...?
-That's it. Your time is up.
But you found a group, so that's a point.
You get a bonus for the connection - Wilde, Beckett, Murphy, Shaw.
-They are all playwrights.
-They are, specifically Irish playwrights.
And you can get more points for the connection in the other groups.
Let's resolve the wall.
Hyacinth, Sheridan, Daisy, Violet.
-They are all characters from the TV show.
-Keeping Up Appearances.
-Yes, they are. Well done. You spotted Hyacinth.
I wouldn't have got that category myself in 15 years.
Characters in Keeping Up Appearances.
Next one. Radar, rose, thumb, weather.
-I can't give you too long.
This is one of those tricky language ones.
They are all things you can be under.
Under the radar.
Under the rose. Under the thumb. Under the weather. Under the rose
is the more obscure one - it means in confidence, secret.
And the last one.
Caley Thistle, Jam Tarts, Jags and Bairns...
-I'm afraid not. This is another one of those ones,
if you don't know, you don't know. And I wouldn't either.
They are the nicknames for Scottish football clubs.
You are evidently not familiar with
Inverness Caledonian Thistle FC.
And the others - Partick Thistle, Falkirk and Heart Of Midlothian.
A lovely football question for us all to enjoy.
But you found one group and you got two more connections.
That's a total of three.
Let's see what that does to the scores going into round four.
Too easy? You thought the connecting walls were too easy?
Maybe you'd like to make your own.
You can do that now on the website
as well as playing walls if you so choose.
We are going to play round four -
the missing vowels round.
The vowels have been removed from well-known names, phrases or sayings
and the consonants squidged up.
You have to tell me what those disguised words are.
Fingers on buzzers, teams.
The first category are all TV spin-offs.
Too long. This is the spin-off
from Doctor Who -
The Sarah Jane Adventures.
-From Friends. Correct.
Don't know this one?
It's Mr Don And Mr George,
a spin-off from Absolutely.
The Green Green Grass?
Correct. From Only Fools And Horses.
-Yes, it is.
-Yes, it is.
-Yes, it is.
-I will, thank you very much.
-Yes, it is.
That next clue was artificial fly.
But that's it.
The fat lady is singing.
Well, I'm not actually singing, but I will give the final scores.
After a very hot round four, the Linguists improved to 14 points,
but the Rowers have pipped it with 16.
Well done, Rowers. You will be coming back for a quarter-final.
Sadly, we have to say goodbye to you Linguists. You've been a great team.
The good news for everyone is that we can all now go home.
I say that, I don't have a home.
When the contestants leave and you switch off, I just sit here.
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
Email [email protected]
A software developer, IT manager and marketing manager who all row in the same boat take on three ladies with a shared passion for foreign languages. They'll compete to draw together the connections between things which, at first glance, seem utterly random.
So join Victoria Coren if you want to know what connects:
Whore | Hell | Were | Cant.