Listeners vs Steel City Singers Only Connect

Hello and welcome to Only Connect, the quiz so fiendish

that Satan uses it as part of his recruitment drive.

We're the show that finds knowledge glamorous, a sort of Glee for geeks.

At this stage, I can't confirm that there will be an Only Connect "The Musical",

that's because there really won't be.

Joining me tonight, on my right,

Andrew Lyman, a crossword fanatic

and keen Leeds United supporter, with a degree in chemistry,

Jane Teather, an information design consultant with a passion for Post-Impressionist art,

and their captain, Dave Tilley,

former business manager and committed blogger,

who's an avid fan of Ramsey Campbell's horror novels.

They're all huge fans of the Listener Crossword. They are the Listeners.

-It appears in The Times now, doesn't it?

-It does.

How is it different from a normal Times crossword?

It mainly consists of the bars between the words rather than blocked squares.

You end up having to do lots of other things.

There was one crossword where it spelt out an instruction which was,

"Throw the puzzle away

and send a postcard from somewhere nice"!

Crossword fans have done well, historically, on this show.

Are there any subjects you're hoping to avoid?

Judging by other performances, probably questions about crosswords!

Well, there may be questions about anything.

This is who you'll have to beat. On my left, Tom Thirkell,

a graduate student at Sheffield University, who sings bass for the university Singers' Society,

Hugh Bennett, a keen piano player, who also sings bass,

and is currently studying for a degree in zoology,

and their captain, Andy Bolton,

a science teacher and former brewer, who is a tenor in his local choir.

They are all keen choristers from Sheffield, they are the Steel City Singers.

I said there won't be a musical and here you are, a choral team!

-Are you all in the same choir?

-No, we're not. These two sing with the Sheffield Uni choir

and I sing with the Sterndale Singers,

which is a chamber choir in Sheffield, of which I'm also the librarian.

-What other strengths do you have?

-We got thrown together on last year's University Challenge team

and we got on so well, we've carried on, stayed together, done a few pub quizzes.

We find our strengths and weaknesses complement each other

and we thought we'd have a go at the pinnacle of TV quizzes.

I like your thinking.

Well, let's get that pinnacle under way with Round One.

Teams, as I'm sure you may know, and if you haven't, do some research before you come on,

I simply want to know here what is the connection between four clues.

The fewer clues you see, the more points you can get.

Listeners, you won the toss. Choose an Egyptian hieroglyph.

Twisted Flax.

The first clues of the show will be hidden behind the Twisted Flax.

The first one is coming up now.

Ken Kesey. One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.

-Next one.

-Out loud.

-Next one.

-Next one, please.

-Committed to mental asylums.

-Was she?

-I don't know.

-Sorry?

-Committed to mental asylums?

-I don't think so.

-Next one, please.

-John Stonehouse...

-They all disappeared?

-Suicide.

-Suicide. Fake suicide!

-Fake suicide.

BELL They all faked suicide.

Have another go.

-They all went missing.

-They all went missing, presumed lost, dead?

I'm going to give you the point. It's actually faked their deaths.

The last clue was Dennis Watts. That was a canal-based murder thing.

But, yes, it was faked suicides.

Ken Kesey and John Stonehouse the real-life examples.

Stonehouse wandering into the sea, like Reginald Perrin.

Well done. You get two points.

Over to the Steel City Singers to please pick a question.

-We shall try the Lion question.

-The Lion. OK.

Your first clue is coming up now.

THEY WHISPER

Next.

-Dance?

-They're both in Spanish, as well.

-Next.

-Yes.

-Next, please.

Act 4 of Carmen. Er...

THEY WHISPER

They could be set somewhere. They could be from Seville or something?

-I've no idea.

-Take another.

Next, please.

-Death in the Afternoon.

-10 seconds.

-Go for Seville.

-Yes.

-Go for in Seville.

-BELL

-All in Seville?

They are not all in Seville.

There's a possible bonus available for the Listeners.

-Andy.

-They're all connected with bullfighting.

They are all connected with bullfighting.

It could be Seville, but not specifically Seville.

That first clue's a Lorca poem.

Paso doble, the dance, of course,

based on the music used for bullfights.

Act 4 of Carmen takes place in a square near a bullfight.

-What can you tell me about that last clue?

-Ernest Hemingway.

It's the Hemingway novel, 1932, based around bullfighting.

Well done for the bonus point. You may choose your own question.

-Eye of Horus, please.

-The music question for you.

You'll hear the clues. The first one coming in now.

# Ooh, it takes every kinda People... #

-Robert Palmer.

-Sorry?

-Robert Palmer. He did the original version.

Robert Palmer.

-Every Kinda People.

-Next one.

-Next one, please.

-# Rip it up and start again #

-BOTH MEN: Orange Juice.

-That's Edwyn Collins.

-Edwyn Collins.

Next one?

Next one, please.

-Hot Chocolate.

-# I believe in miracles #

BELL They all have drinks in their name.

Absolutely. You were muttering about Robert Palmer,

-but the first act was the Mint Juleps.

-Right!

-It was a cover.

-He did the original.

-Orange Juice and Hot Chocolate.

What do you think we would've heard last?

Tea For Two?

-No. Any guesses? Bands that sound like drinks?

-The Waterboys?

-No.

The fourth clue would've been Bucks Fizz.

Bucks Fizz.

Coming in after three clues, you get two points.

The artists all have the names of drinks.

Back to you. Pick a question.

-We'll try Water.

-OK.

These are picture clues. What's the connection?

The first one coming up now.

I think that's a dik-dik.

It might be repeated words.

Next please.

That's a cuckoo.

-Is that repeated enough?

-It is.

Cuckoo. Dik-dik.

-Shall we?

-Go for it.

-BELL

Their names contain repeated elements.

I'm afraid that's not the answer.

A bonus opportunity for the Listeners.

I'll show you the next two clues.

I'm not going to let you have a long chat.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Repeated words.

-What that?

-Do you have an answer?

-Repeated words.

That's not it, either. That's what your opponents said.

No, no. We're looking at a dik-dik, a cuckoo,

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and crackling.

They are all named after the noise they make.

-Onomatopoeic.

-That's the common cuckoo, ornithologists will note.

There are many cuckoos, but they don't all make that sound.

Crackling is the sound it makes, and dik-dik, the antelope makes that sort of noise.

No points there. Listeners, what would you like?

-Two Reeds.

-OK. What is the connection here?

First clue coming up now.

-Playing Kabaddi...

-It's a religion. Madonna...

No. Wait a minute. Kabaddi's an Indian sport.

It's like playing tig.

-Take the next one.

-Take another clue.

-Next one.

Aiming a gun accurately.

Is it something with both feet on the floor?

-That's as point.

-Try it or get another one?

-Take another one.

-Take another one, please.

-Trying to cure -

-Ten seconds.

-Holding your breath!

You have to hold your breath to take part in these activities.

The connection is holding your breath.

Kabaddi is an Asian tag game.

The last clue would've been free diving.

You must hold your breath throughout these things.

Steel City Singers, the nation is holding its breath to see if you can get a point.

It's the Horned Viper. Good luck. First clue coming up now.

-Differences in America and Britain.

-Yes.

-Next?

-Yes.

-Next, please.

The Ouse is in York. Something to do with York?

-It might be under things in York.

-Yes. Erm...

-River Ouse...

-Take another.

-We'll take another, please.

-It must be.

-That is in York. It's the longest street name.

-BELL

-They are streets in York.

You're off the blocks. They are streets in York.

Coming in after three clues, you get two points.

Very well done.

That means, at the end of Round One, the Steel City Singers have got two points,

but the Listeners are ahead with seven.

Round Two is the Sequences Round. This time, teams, you will need to work out a connection,

but in order to tell me what the fourth clue would be.

Listeners, you'll be going first again.

-Select a hieroglyph.

-The Horned Viper, please.

The first is a connected sequence is coming up.

What's fourth? Time starts now.

Next one, please.

The Fifth. It's, er... Hallelujah.

The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall.

-Erm... What's the next line?

-I don't know.

-The chorus?

-Oh, God!

Better get one more, I think.

Next one, please.

-Ohh!

-Yes.

-The fourth, the fifth...

-Major fall?

-Major fall?

Ten seconds.

-I don't know.

-BELL

-The major fall.

-I'm afraid that's not the answer.

There's a possible bonus for the Sheffield Singers.

-It's the major lift.

-There you go! The choristers got that one.

You knew it was Leonard Cohen, as sung by many people.

Best by Jeff Buckley, of course. The minor four and the major lift.

-Come on, you're going to have to sing it to me now.

-No.

-Please.

-No.

What kind of show is this?

Unfortunately, I'm bound by the rules to give you the points.

Well done. That's a bonus. Pick your own question.

-Water.

-Water. First in the sequence coming up.

What would be fourth? Your time starts now.

Is it what order they're in?

-Order of built or...?

-Could be.

-How are they listed?

-I don't know.

-Next.

-Just take another.

-Next, please.

-Temple of Artemis.

I'd be tempted to say the Pyramid at Giza.

-It's the earliest.

-Yes, it's going backwards.

-Yes.

-Shall we? BELL

We will say the Pyramids at Giza. The Great Pyramid.

Why would you say that?

Seven Ancient Wonders of the World in reverse order of being built.

They are the Seven Wonders of the World

in terms of their construction date, going backwards.

So the Statue of Zeus, Temple of Artemis,

Hanging Gardens of Babylon would be next,

and the first to be constructed, the pyramids around 2500 BC.

Listeners, up to you.

-Twisted Flax, please.

-Twisted Flax.

What's fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

Cuts of meat.

THEY WHISPER Part of a horse. Withers.

Next one, please.

Yes, it's... Poll's part of a horse.

-Which order?

-I don't know.

Would it be the withers? Shall we carry on?

It's still on the head, isn't it?

Next one, please.

Crest. The mane?

-The mane?

-I don't know.

-10 seconds.

BELL The mane.

That's not the answer. Over to the Singers.

-Could it be pommel?

-That's not right, either.

I heard your team muttering the correct answer after one clue.

It is withers. We're going back down a horse's head.

Could've been five points. I'm afraid it's none.

Over to you now, Singers. Pick a question.

-Lion again.

-OK. The sequence is coming up.

Here's the first.

-It could be anything.

-It could. Next please.

-Meta...

-Pro. Meta.

THEY WHISPER

Epi. Epi.

-Shall we?

-OK. I don't know.

No. Next, please.

-Ana.

-Oh. Prologue, metalogue, analogue.

-Epilogue?

-Might as well.

BELL We'll try epilogue.

Sorry.

Listeners, possible bonus for you.

I can't give you a long time.

-No?

-No.

-Too long.

-Pass.

-These are phases of cell division.

That old chestnut! Next would be telo.

Prophase, metaphase, anaphase, telophase.

We're all kicking ourselves now! Cell division, of course!

So no bonus points, but you may have your own question.

-Two Reeds, please.

-OK. First in a sequence coming up...

..now.

-OK.

-Next one, please.

-Joe Frazier. Boxing.

-Boxing champions.

-World Champions.

-Joe Frazier...

-Spinks.

-Ali.

-Ali first and then Spinks.

-Yes.

-Ali, then Frazier. Norton. Didn't Ali come back?

-He did.

-Pick another one.

-Take another.

-Next one, please.

Spinks. It must be Ali.

BELL

-Ali.

-I'm afraid that's not the answer.

So a possible bonus to the Steel City Singers.

-..He won it as Cassius Clay.

-Right, we'll say Clay.

That is not correct either. What did you think the connection was?

-World boxing champions going...

-From Frazier onward.

That wouldn't be a correct sequence. You'd be missing some out.

The only sequence that fits is, they are boxers who defeated Ali.

The next would've been Larry Holmes. There were only five.

The next one was the last. Do you know who that was?

-Was it Ernest...

-Trevor Berbick?

Trevor Berbick. He defeated Muhammad Ali in his last fight.

That was the sequence - boxers who defeated Muhammad Ali.

Singers, there is one clue remaining,

the Eye of Horus for you.

These are picture clues. What's fourth in the sequence?

ALL: That's a Mini.

We could go in either direction.

Next, please.

Mini. Deal. Cooper...

Shuffle. iPods!

Mini... So it'd be...

-Touch?

-Is that the last?

-Nano is the smallest.

Nano. Is that where we're going? Mini...

Shuffle...

-Mm.

-What should we do?

-Take another.

-We're going to not get it.

-Ten seconds.

Next, please.

That doesn't help.

-BELL

-One second.

-Nano.

I'm afraid that's not the answer. Listeners, possible bonus.

-THEY WHISPER

-Not an opportunity for a chat!

-Touch.

-That is the correct answer.

It is models of the iPod in order of release.

One minute you don't know cell division,

then you don't recognise the Albanian Prime Minister, Fatos Nano!

-Who'd have thought?

-Surely a household name for most of us.

-Touch was the correct answer.

-I was thinking "Mr Touch"!

At the end of Round Two, The Steel City Singers have got six,

but the Listeners are ahead with eight.

Round Three, the Connecting Wall,

the blizzard of 16 clues that must be sorted into four neatly-connected groups of four.

Steel City Singers, it is your turn to go first.

You may choose between the Lion Wall and the Water.

-Water, please.

-Water. OK. You've got two and a half minutes to solve this wall,

starting now.

Right, Bath. Frome is in Somerset. Street is in Somerset.

-Wellington is Somerset.

-Right.

-So...

BUZZ

BUZZ No.

Bath. THEY TALK AT ONCE

-Tiller... Types of girls.

-You've got roller blade.

-Plough blade.

-BUZZ

-I've missed out...

-I have no idea.

-Which one haven't I done?

HE MUMBLES TO SELF

Shrew, hare... Animals.

-Oh, they contain...

-Bat.

-They contain mammals. OK.

-Shrew...

-Chard.

-Hare.

Well done. Right, so...

Let's do this version. They're somewhere else.

BUZZ There's a place called Street.

-It must be somewhere else.

-What else could Chard be?

-Swiss Roller...

-You've used a minute.

THEY TALK AT ONCE

-Constellations.

-Plough, Harrow, Tiller...

And then Roller. Farming equipment.

-Well done.

-Three strikes and you're out now.

-Think.

-Fingers away.

-Those three... Well, those two are definitely.

-What else...?

What definitely aren't? Air, Street, Ice and Field.

-Will Chard be...?

-Types of hockey. Air, Field, Street, Ice.

And the others are places in Somerset.

You've solved the wall. Congratulations. That's an immediate four points.

You can get four more for the connections. If you get all of those, there's a bonus two points.

The first group, Bath, Beard, Harem, Shrewd?

All words that contain animals.

-Mammals.

-Mammals.

-At the beginning.

-Do you want to be any more specific?

-British? No. Northern European?

And it changes the pronunciation.

I'm just teasing you like a cat with a shrew!

I accept that answer. Animal names with one letter added.

Bat with an H, Bear with a D, Hare with an M, Shrew with a D.

Even more precisely, mammals with one letter added.

Next one. Harrow, Roller, Plough, Tiller?

-Things one can do to a field.

-Agricultural tools.

-Usually towed behind a tractor.

-They're agricultural tools.

"Things one can do to a field" - technically, they're all nouns.

You can't really... I remember that lesson at school.

"You can't do a noun" I think was how they expressed it. But, yes.

Things used in fields and farming.

And the next one. Ice, Field, Street, Air?

-Hockey.

-They are prefixes that go before hockey.

Simple as that. And the next one.

Wells, Chard, Wellington, Frome.

-Towns in Somerset.

-They're in Somerset. Wells, I think, is a city.

Cities or towns in Somerset.

There were quite a few red herrings for the Somerset one.

-"Street" you were rather thrown by.

-And Bath.

That's four points for the groups, four for the connections.

And you get the bonus. That's a maximum of ten points. Very well done. Maximum on the grid.

Let's see what the Listeners can do with their trip to the wall.

16 new clues still need sorting into four connecting groups of four.

Listeners, you have got two and a half minutes to sort out the Lion Wall.

There'll be red herrings floating around and clues that could come into more than one group.

But like a Sudoku, there's only one correct solution.

So... your time will start now.

Hearts, Euchre, Canasta, Skat, Bridge, Poker. Lots of card games.

Er, Gin is a trap.

-Plymouth Brethren.

-Plymouth Gin, Plymouth Brethren.

-Plymouth Rock and Plymouth Hoe.

-Yes.

We've still got the card games there.

Paul Zenon is a magician. David Nixon is a magician.

Chas Canasta was a magician and David Blaine.

THEY MUMBLE

-Great.

-Card games.

-Card games.

-Euchre.

-Euchre.

-Bridge.

-Bridge.

-Wait a minute. Do it again.

-Tongs.

-And Brush.

Spades is a card game, Spade isn't.

-Poker is a household appliance.

-Go on.

ALL: Poker, Spade, Brush and Tongs.

That's it, you've solved the wall. That's four points for you.

-You seemed to find that very easy.

-Erm...

Practice!

-Have you been playing online?

-We have. We recommend it.

It was great to spot Plymouths early on.

-It was the brethren, as well.

-Who knows that you spotted. No early cheers, as we say in gambling.

Let's see if you can find the connections.

First group - Rock, Hoe, Gin, Brethren?

-All associated with Plymouth.

-They can be preceded by Plymouth.

What's Plymouth Rock?

-It's where the Founding Fathers landed?

-A lighthouse?

It's where the Pilgrim Fathers landed.

-Yes, you're right.

-It is.

Also, a breed of chicken.

My little random triv fact of the day.

What about the next one?

Canasta, Nixon, Zenon, Blaine?

-Magicians.

-They are magicians. Can you tell me their first names?

Chas Canasta, from my childhood.

Used to be on something, like variety shows.

Probably "The Black and White Minstrel Show" or something.

-You're close. It's Chan Canasta.

-Chan Canasta.

-Good knowledge.

-What about the others?

-David Nixon, Paul Zenon and David Blaine.

David Nixon was the first TV partner of whom?

-MEN: Basil Brush.

-Basil Brush!

See how we're getting the extra facts.

Another point there. Spade, Brush, Poker, Tongs?

They're all part of a hearth's companion set,

or tools to work on a hearth.

-Mend your open fire.

-Yes.

-Fireside companion pieces.

Exactly. And Hearts, Euchre, Skat, Bridge?

-Card games.

-Would you like to be any more specific?

-Trick-taking card games?

-They are games in which you can take tricks.

You get the four points for the groups you found, four for the connections,

and the bonus two for getting it all right. That is a maximum of ten.

Let's see how that leaves the overall scores going into Round Four.

Is it disappointing to get the full ten points and then find the other team did, as well?

-Yes.

-Yes!

The Listeners practiced online. Do you play the online wall?

I've done all of them.

-Did you always gets the maximum points?

-No.

-Occasionally.

Sometimes it's a case of who gets which wall.

Would your team have known David Nixon and Chan Canasta?

ALL: No!

Would your team have known what Somerset is?

Cheese?! THEY LAUGH

If you want to have a go at a connecting wall, we have got them on the internet.

Will you be able to score the maximum of ten?

Also, a new option -

if you want to make your own wall, you can do that, too.

Meanwhile, though, we are going to play Round Four, the Missing Vowels round.

In this round, as I expect you probably know,

we take well-known names, phrases or sayings,

take out the vowels and regroup the consonants.

You need to tell me what those names or phrases are.

You will lose a point for anything incorrect and the other team gets a chance.

Be very careful. Fingers on buzzers.

The first group are all party games.

-Listeners?

-Pin The Tail On the Donkey.

Correct.

-BELL

-Listeners?

-Listeners?

-London's Burning?

I'm afraid not. Possible bonus, Singers.

-London Bridge.

-The old game. Next clue.

-Listeners?

-Musical Chairs.

-Correct.

Next category:

Too long, I'm afraid.

It's Great Uncle Bulgaria, The Wombles.

Next clue.

Listeners.

-Samuel Whiskers.

-From Beatrix Potter. Correct.

No? Too long. It's Moominmamma.

Next clue.

-Listeners.

-White Fang.

-Correct. Jack London book.

Next category:

-Steel City Singers?

-Roaring Twenties.

-Correct.

-Listeners?

-La Belle Epoque.

-Correct.

-Listeners?

-Movie Decade.

-Not right. You lose a point.

Singers?

No, that's too long. It's the Mauve Decade of the 1890s.

Next clue.

-Listeners?

-Early Middle Ages.

-Correct.

Next category:

-Singers?

-Arboretum.

-Correct.

END-OF-QUIZ JINGLE

That's it. The last one was Italian Garden.

But the bell's gone. The show's over.

We've a few seconds before they turn out the lights,

lock the doors and we have to eat each other to stay alive.

We'd better look at the final scores.

At the end of the quiz, the Steel City Singers have got 19 points.

But the winners are the Listeners with 23.

Very well done, Listeners. You will be back for the quarterfinals.

Unlucky, Steel City Singers. We won't be seeing you again.

But that's a very good score. Just pipped at the post tonight.

Very unfortunate.

Please join me next time for another round of the quiz so taxing

that Wesley Snipes runs screaming at the mention of its name.

Goodbye.

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