Quiz show in which links must be made between seemingly random things. Three online pals play a trio of history buffs in the first quarter-final.
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Hello, and welcome to Only Connect, the quarterfinals.
Both teams here won their original heats,
so for them it's a sort of returning home,
like to your parents' after your first school disco,
a warm welcome followed by some awkward questions.
Joining me on my right
Roger Pratley, a folk-music aficionado with a passion for Indian cuisine,
Sean Carey, a former bingo-club manager
who enjoys athletics and 1970s music,
and their captain, Beth Webster,
a trombone player with a Masters from Birkbeck College
who enjoys Formula 1 racing.
They're all committed fans of social media.
They are the Social Networkers.
Beth, you beat the Vegetarians in your heat.
How have you preparing for the quarterfinal?
We've been having a few revision sessions,
completing all the walls online, all bolstered by a teacake.
NOTHING boosts brain power like a teacake.
They say eating a lot of fish is the key.
Perhaps that was a problem for the Vegetarians.
Lentils just won't cut it!
Your opponents this time are the Antiquarians.
On my left, it's Simon Belcher,
a science communications graduate studying astronomy,
Debbie Challis, a Pilates enthusiast
with a doctorate in art history,
and their captain, Will Howells,
a stand-up comedian with a Masters degree in physics and astrophysics.
They share a keen interest in history. They are the Antiquarians.
Will, you beat the Fantasy Footballers.
What was the secret of success?
I think partly it was a profound knowledge
of all of human civilisation and history,
but mostly lucky guessing.
Well, I hope you know all the answers tonight,
but guessing could take you a long way.
Later on during the show,
you'll be able to play along with the Connecting Wall
if you've got a computer with you.
But that's all for later.
And if TV on its own is excitement enough,
all you need is a nice, big teapot
full of brandy, and we're going to play round one.
I just want to know what's the connection between
four apparently random clues.
Networkers, you won the toss,
but you're making the Antiquarians go first.
So, Antiquarians, please pick a question.
Eye of Horus, please.
First one will be the Eye of Horus,
and your first clue is coming up now.
-Aneres? Is that a star?
-I don't think so.
Shall we take the next one? Next.
Seltaeb? "Beatles" backwards. "Serena" backwards, though?
"Beatles" backwards, the band.
-What's Serena? Serena's a person. Shall we take the next one?
-Robert. They're all just names backwards.
Beatles isn't a first name. Er, Beatles, Robert, Serena.
Shall we take the fourth one? Next.
Oprah, Robert, Beatles, Serena.
-They're names backwards.
In the quarterfinal,
that is not an answer I can accept.
There is a possible bonus
for the Social Networkers.
I'll let Sean answer.
They're companies that have been created by the person in question,
but they have reversed their name.
That's it. They are trading names or brand names made up from one
of the founders' names backwards.
Aneres, that's Serena Williams'
clothing line. The Beatles had a company, Seltaeb.
Trebor, the sweets company, was founded by Robert Robertson.
And Harpo Productions, Oprah Winfrey's production company.
A bonus point for you, Networkers. Please pick your own question.
We'll have Twisted Flax, please.
It's the music or sound question.
You'll hear the clues. Here comes the first one now.
OPERATIC ARIA - MALE AND FEMALE VOICES SINGING
PIANO AND CELLO
Is that about a swan?
Something to do with a swan. Next, please.
# Ride it on out like a bird in the sky
# Ride it on out like... #
Songs with swans or music with swans, to do with swans.
You're quite right.
What do you think you heard?
Swan Lake you didn't hear!
That would have been the fourth.
-It was Saint-Saens.
-Carnival of the Animals.
-That was the second one.
-And T-Rex, Ride A White Swan.
was the madrigal The Silver Swan.
We had yet to hear Swan Lake,
although a good guess for what would be next. Well done.
Back to you, Antiquarians, to pick a question.
You're going to be getting some picture clues.
The first one is coming up now.
-Dancing of the Skeletons?
-It's not Daughter Death, is it?
By the Auschwitz guy? We'd have that question on here, surely.
Shall we go through to the next one?
-Oh, Blue Screen of Death.
That is the correct answer.
Yes, we WOULD have that question!
Josef Mengele's a favourite.
He's like Father Christmas to us!
Known as the Angel of Death.
That second picture looks like a supermodels' party but is in fact...
-Do you know?
-Is it the Danse Macabre?
It's Holbein's Dance of Death
to fit in with this clue. The Blue Screen of Death was that third one.
That's an error screen on a PC.
And the fourth picture, the Wall of Death on a fairground ride.
A nice, chirpy question, wasn't it?
Well done. You get the points for that.
-Over to the Networkers for a question.
Horned Viper. First clue coming up now.
Colours. Colours made by chemicals?
Is atropine a hormone?
-Could they all be used as drugs?
-I don't know.
-Amyl nitrate's popper.
You've got five seconds.
Nope? OK, there's a possible bonus
available for the Antiquarians.
Why would it be cell?
Because maybe Colin Sell from I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue
and maybe atropine is in a cell.
And the other two?
Er, you might end up in a cell if you illegally sold amyl nitrate,
and you might paint it with Prussian blue!
Good attempt, but no! Should have
been a giveaway in that fourth one.
-These are all antidotes.
Prussian blue is an antidote to thalium poisoning,
atropine an antidote to sarin, amyl nitrate
an antidote to cyanide poisoning -
not how I use it -
and I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, of course, the antidote to panel games.
They're all antidotes. No points there.
-Antiquarians, please pick your own hieroglyph.
Water. Your first clue is coming up now.
-Could be anything.
-Yeah, animals? Next.
A song? The biggest animals?
Shall we take the next one? Next.
It's a river. Mud? Mississippi mud cake. Mud?
-But hippo has river in the name, as well. It's Greek "potamos".
-One thousand is M.
-Roman M. Anything?
What's that fourth clue about?
Didn't really know.
-Oh, you normally do better than that!
-It's the M in "mud"
-is a thousand in Roman numerals.
-That's a pretty good attempt.
Of course, it's completely wrong.
Thank you for trying. Networkers, what do you think?
The letter M?
So...when their guess was mud,
because the letter M in "mud" is a thousand,
I would have thrown it over for the bonus to you and it was M?
No, no, no, no!
This could be one of those occasions
when you're too sophisticated.
Pare it back, think simply.
These are -
I think you'll to kick yourselves -
when counting seconds.
-One elephant, two elephant, three Mississippi,
four Mississippi, five one thousand.
Placeholder words for counting seconds, that was.
Networkers, there is one question remaining in round one. It's Lion.
We'll have that, then!
I think you should. The first clue is coming up now.
Anybody know? Don't know? Nobody know?
-Is that "Gotcha!"?
-Is that "Gotcha!"?
-Are you sure?
-Isn't that the Belgrano?
-"Up yours, Delors"?
I really haven't a Scooby on that one. >
-Shall we keep going?
-What might The Sun headline be?
-I can only think of whatsit.
No, I don't know.
OK, bonus points available again
for the Antiquarians.
We think it's the lights going out.
We don't know the first, but we think The Sun says,
"Will the last person to leave Britain turn out the lights?"
If Kinnock won the election.
The third one is the lights going out all across Europe,
and in Earth Hour, people are supposed to turn off their lights.
Right. They say that Roosevelt's last words were,
"James, will you please
"turn out the light?"
Turning out lights. You get the bonus point this time. Well done.
That means the scores at the end of Round One see
the Social Networkers with three points,
the Antiquarians also with three points.
Round Two, you'll remember, is about sequences.
There are still four clues, but you may not see the fourth one.
I want to know what it is.
Antiquarians, you're first.
Please select a hieroglyph.
Eye of Horus, please.
Starting with the Eye of Horus.
The first in the sequence will be shown. What is fourth?
Time starts now.
There was a crack in the floor, which was an artwork in Tate Modern.
-You've got the sesame seeds and...
-We need to get the next one.
That was there. They had, like, bunks and stuff.
Was that because of an environmental disaster set in the future?
-Sesame seeds. I think you're right.
-Ceramic sesame seeds.
I'll take it. Sunflower seeds.
But I think you know what the answer is. What's the sequence?
They're the exhibits in the main Turbine Hall at the Tate Modern.
That's what they are.
They're descriptions of them.
The names - Shibboleth is the crack in the floor,
Disaster depicts an environmental disaster,
steel structure is Darkroom and Seeds came next,
porcelain seeds on the floor.
People were supposed to be able to
walk on them.
They roped them off because people walking on them caused dust,
then they found out that
they'd been painted with lead.
They might have poisoned everybody!
Networkers, please pick a question.
-Horned viper, please.
-First in a sequence coming up. What's fourth?
-Time starts now.
-This is popes.
-Is it popes?
-No, it's not.
-It's something to do with popes though.
It's definitely to do with popes, but I don't think Pope Benedict.
-It could be Peter, but shall we wait and see?
-I'm afraid that is not the correct answer.
A possible bonus for Antiquarians.
-That's not right either.
I think you both know that
popes is the connection.
What it is
is the most popular papal names.
There have been 14 popes called Clement, 15 Benedicts, 16 Gregorys.
The most popular papal name is John.
Antiquarians, it's your turn to pick a question.
-Twisted flax, please.
-OK, first in a sequence coming up.
What is fourth? Your time starts now.
But isn't it a comic? A cartoon?
-This is bridges over the...?
-Bridges over the...
-What other ones would there be?
-Shall we see the next one?
-Manhattan Island? Is that a bridge as well?
-I don't know.
-I haven't got a clue anyway.
-You're right. Do you know why?
-We think they might be bridges
moving along the Hudson.
They're bridges over New York's
East River going north to south.
Next along would be Brooklyn. You get the points.
-Social Networkers, please choose.
-Two reeds, please.
These are picture clues. What would you expect
to see in the fourth picture? The first one coming up now.
-Nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking,
seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying.
BELL Six geese a-laying.
Do you want to have another go?
You've got dancing, milking.
-What's your answer?
-Laying. Just laying.
These are, as I think you know, from the 12 days of Christmas,
but you're not seeing
nine ladies dancing
or eight maids a-milking, just the acts.
Dancing, milking. Swimming would be next, and laying.
Coming in after two clues, you get three points. Excellent.
-Back to the Antiquarians to choose.
First in a sequence coming up now.
-Take another one.
-One and three.
-Is this a sequence?
Yellow, green, yellow and red. Is it traffic lights?
No, that's red and... Next.
That's yellow as well. If you add one and three, you get yellow?
Is it traffic lights?
So, green, you'd have red and yellow. Or is it something else entirely?
Two and three equals red.
That's so random.
And, unfortunately, not correct,
-to the Social Networkers.
-Two equals green.
No, you're wrong as well. You were guessing numbers.
The colour is red,
but you want the number four. It's not traffic lights,
these are train signals,
stages in a railway signal. So the second light goes green,
one and three, yellow,
this is going backwards.
The third light is yellow and four equals red, meaning stop.
Social Networkers, again, there is only one question remaining, water.
-We'll have that then, please.
-And the first clue is coming up now.
Is this hardness? The scale of hardness?
I can't hear you.
It could go up to diamond. Next.
Oh, no, it's things in the Earth. It's going down. What's the core?
-What's the core?
-What's the core of the Earth made of?
-Is it just a complete iron core?
Yeah, but that's made of something.
-Shall we just go with iron?
-What sort of iron?
Not the answer I'm looking for.
I'm going to go over to the Antiquarians for a possible bonus.
And I don't want to hear chat, I want a very specific answer.
Em, gaseous... I... Oh... The...
I'm not going to take it.
I was tough on you there. As you suspect,
it's constituent parts
of the Earth going inwards.
The problem is you said molten iron.
Molten iron is the third.
Deep in at the core, solid iron and nickel.
I would have taken solid iron from you but not molten,
because that wouldn't be the next stage.
So I'm being tough and in this quarterfinal heat at the end
of the second round, the Social Networkers have got six points
but the Antiquarians are ahead with seven.
Round three is the Connecting Wall
and these connecting walls will be going live online
if you feel like depressing yourself right along with the teams.
Go to your computer and you'll find them there.
Social Networkers, you'll be the ones playing it on TV, though,
and you've got the choice - lion or water?
Sort these 16 clues into four groups of four if you can. Time starts now.
-Weather. Forecast, Vane, Report.
Try those first.
No. OK, so weather station, weather report, weather vane. Forecast?
-Oh, wedding anniversary.
-Things you can throw. Yeah.
-So you can throw rice.
-Petals? Bouquet, confetti?
Um. Petals, petals, gray...Wotton? What's Wotton?
Is there something... Does it start with a two?
Order of the Garter.
-Something a bride might have, a garter.
-Bouquet, stocking. Diamond?
-You've used one minute.
Cable, cable... Oh, my goodness me.
Do you throw the garter at the end of a wedding as well?
It's not things you hold, is it? Stockings hold up garters.
Anne Rice, Anne Diamond. No.
These are all people who are married to...
-Things that fall?
We're going to have to start randoms.
-It's not an anagram.
-Isn't it Carols?
-Carols. Is there a Carol Wotton?
We're going to have to start...
-You've got about 40 seconds left.
Carol Gray's certainly an actress.
Carol Wotton. Carol Rice?
There's Anne Diamond, Anne Rice. Anne Wotton?
Oh, dear me. This is awful. Blue stocking, blue diamond.
-Blue rice, blue vane...
You've got about ten seconds now.
Oh, dear me.
And that's it, your time is up.
Don't worry, it's a very tough grid. You did well to get one group,
I'll give you a point. The connection?
Report, Forecast, Balloon, Station.
-They can be prefaced by weather, absolutely right.
Three points still available for connections in the groups you didn't find.
Let's resolve the wall. So Gray, Wootton, Hallward, Vane.
-To be honest with you, you know it or you don't.
-This is a tough one if you haven't read it.
-They are characters in The Picture of Dorian Gray.
Dorian Gray himself, Sybil Vane, Lord Henry Wootton
and Basil Hallward.
The next group - Stocking, Diamond, Cable, Rice.
Can they be preceded by a colour?
Blue stocking, brown rice, blue diamond...
Preceded by a colour?
Purple cable. I'm afraid that's not the answer.
-They are types of knitting stitch.
Had you spent last night knitting over a film
of The Picture of Dorian Gray you'd be laughing.
What about the last one?
-Garter, Confetti, Bouquet...
-Things that are thrown at weddings.
That's right. You knew that category was in there,
things thrown at weddings and the garter is a possible,
but you couldn't quite get the four. Never mind.
You got a point for the group and two further connections.
Three points, not bad in a quarterfinal. Time to bring back
the Antiquarians for another tough quarterfinal Connecting Wall.
16 fresh clues, of course, need sorting into four connected groups of four.
You've done it before, unfortunately you have to do it again.
So you'll get the wall-to-wall because the line's been taken.
Your time starts now.
Camilla is a consort. The Viceroy is a...
Cherie is a Prime Minister's consort, if you like.
Viscount, another title.
-Contra. Oil contras.
-Squidgy was Diana.
OK, Diana. Would it be, though? Nicknames for...
-Condesa, I don't know.
-Viking is a probe.
Emir is a leader of...
-Viscount is a title.
-Isn't Comte the same as Viscount?
-Condesa, I think, is like a count.
I think Emir is as well. That's the other...
-Is Vimy a nickname for someone?
-I don't know what that is.
Wellington, beef Wellington. Zipper is a zip.
Is it shortened or is it a brand name of something?
Anton du Beke from Strictly Come Dancing.
Camilla is a dancer in Strictly Come Dancing,
Ola is a Strictly Come Dancing dancer.
You've used a minute.
-There we go.
-Viscount, so Vimy is a title maybe?
-I don't know.
Viking is the same word?
-I think they are words for Count or, like...
-And just guess one. We've tried Emir already.
-We don't have Counts in English, it's Earl and Countess.
-OK, Cherie is a nickname, Squidgy is Diana.
-You've got a minute left.
Assuming that Zipper's a nickname, do you think... So maybe those.
-I don't think Cherie's a nickname.
-Wellington. Duke of Wellington.
-Contra was a scandal. Contra oil.
-I don't think...
That's the same as that and that. Comte, Contra, Viscount, I've tried.
-Who else? Viking?
-I can't see anything.
-Viking's a space probe.
-Viceroy in India.
-A wordplay or...
-People who lead.
Zipper, zipper, what's zipper? Squidgy, zipper.
-It's Zippo lighter, isn't it?
-A zipper is a thing...
-Ten seconds now.
Your boots might have a zipper. Um, er...
Emir of Kuwait.
You're out of time. But you've got a group. Well done. That's a point.
Can you tell me the connection?
Camilla, Vincent, Ola, Anton.
-They're all professional dancers on Strictly Come Dancing.
-That is exactly what they are.
You also get points for the connections you didn't identify,
so let's resolve the wall.
Zipper, Contra, Cherie, Squidgy.
-Were they scandals? Or do we think nicknames?
I'll take it. They're scandals referred to as gates.
Zippergate, the Monica Lewinski business with Bill Clinton,
Contragate, the Oliver North affair. Cheriegate?
-Do you remember that?
-Was it to do with her psychic?
It was the wife of Tony Blair. It was to do with the purchase of flats in Bristol.
That was that thing. Squidgygate, Princess Diana and a friend on the phone.
They were taped. So, yes, scandals known as something gate.
Next group - Viking, Vimy, Wellington, Viscount.
-Forms of ships or boots.
-Don't waste your time, it's neither.
-They are Vickers aircraft.
Vickers Viking, Vickers Wellington. The last group -
Condesa, Viceroy, Emir, Comte.
They're all Counts in different countries.
I'm afraid they're not, because an Emir is not the same as a count at all.
You went a little too specific.
They are simply titles in the nobility.
Condesa is actually female and would be a countess.
An Emir, a Muslim prince. Just titles in the nobility.
But you got a point for the group you found and two more
for the connection, a total of three points.
Let's see what that does to the scores going into round four.
Very close scores. It will all be decided in Round Four,
the Missing Vowels round, where you have to identify the names, words,
phrases or sayings with the vowels removed
and the consonants squidged up.
Fingers on buzzers. The first group are
all rival factions.
-Cavaliers and Roundheads.
Don't know this one? It's bloods and crips. Next clue.
-Autobots and Decepticons.
-From Transformers. Correct.
No? This one's to do with the Twilight novels.
Team Edward and Team Jacob.
Next category - Mathematical curves.
Don't know it? It's a cardioid, a heart-shaped curve. Next clue.
It's tough, isn't it?
This one's lemniscate, like the infinity symbol.
Come on, teams.
-It's an equiangular spiral.
Too late, I've started giving the answer.
Let's move away from maths and onto things you can insure against.
That last one was cancelled wedding.
But I'm afraid it's now a cancelled quiz,
because it's the end and in a very close-run thing,
the Social Networkers have got 11 points,
but the Antiquarians just win with 12.
You're through to the semi-final. Unlucky for you, Social Networkers.
You had a really good run, but I'm afraid it stops here.
Please join me next time when anything could happen.
When I say anything I don't mean ANYTHING.
If you see a rap star involved in an airport hijack
you're probably on the wrong channel.
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
E-mail [email protected]
Three online pals take on a trio of history buffs in the first of the quarter-finals. They compete to draw together the connections between things which, at first glance, seem utterly random, from elephant to hippopotamus to Mississippi to one thousand.