General Practitioners v Festival Fans Only Connect

Hello, and welcome to Only Connect.

Tonight, in a twist to the rules that I don't fully grasp,

I am joined by two teams who have already played and lost.

We're giving them another go. Having sampled the bitter taste of defeat,

they're hoping to wash it away with the sweet

and nourishing golden nectar of victory,

or, as I call it, Scotch.

So let's say hello again to...

on my right, Jo Durrant,

a keen runner who also enjoys reading science fiction,

quilt-making and skiing.

Chris David, a GP

who published an undergraduate paper discussing the small bowels of the guinea pig,

and their captain, Mike Crowe,

a travel enthusiast who once played the part of a Greek god, dressed in only a loincloth.

All friends from medical school,

they are the General Practitioners.

So, Mike, you were narrowly beaten by the Fell Walkers in your game.

How have you prepared for the next attempt?

We've all been taking one Connecting Wall three times a day before meals.

-That'll do the trick.

-It certainly should.

Everyone should take a Connecting Wall daily.

This time you are facing...

on my left, Ed Dovey,

a published illustrator who enjoys listening to Led Zeppelin

and visiting art galleries.

Stewart McCartney,

a management sciences graduate who once knocked over Bono in a Chinese restaurant,

and their captain, Marianne Fairthorne,

a keen traveller with a PhD in maths

and a passion for drawing monsters.

They spend their summers knee-deep in mud

and soaked in beer. They are the Festival Fans.

Marianne, you lost to the Francophiles in your first heat.

-How are you feeling about this game?

-I think I'm just hoping

these people aren't as good as they are.

Well, you'll soon find out

as we push on with the quiz.

This time, of course, one of the teams will go home.

You don't get three chances.

Or at least, I don't think so.

One team, though, still will have a chance of making the semifinals

at the end.

We start, as so many quizzes do, with Round One.

There are four clues. They're connected in some way.

We hope the way is not completely obvious.

Teams, we want you to do some detective work

to calculate what that might be.

They don't have to see all four clues. They get more points if they come in early.

I'm lingering over this bit, because now they've changed the format of the series,

the rules of Round One are the last remaining thing that I understand.

Four clues, some sort of hidden connection. I've got that bit.

GPs, you won the toss. You'll be going first.

Please choose a hieroglyph.

-Two Reeds, please.

-Two Reeds.

OK. These will be picture clues.

I want to know the connection between them.

Here's the first.

-Francis Bacon.

-OK.

Next, please.

It's a pork pie hat, isn't it?

THEY CONFER

Bacon-based products?

BELL

Pork products.

That is absolutely right.

Pig meat products. Francis Bacon and a pork pie hat.

You didn't need to see West Ham and backgammon.

Pig meats.

Can you eat a guinea pig, Chris?

I wouldn't recommend it,

but I think they're quite popular in South America.

I think in some parts of the world they are popular.

Admit it, when you were looking at their bowels,

-did you ever feel peckish?

-No.

Well done, coming in after two clues. You get three points.

Over to the Festival Fans

to pick a question.

-Twisted Flax, please.

-Twisted Flax.

What is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

-Who's Hank Morgan? Trying to think...

-Don't know.

Next.

I don't...

I don't know.

-Go next.

-Next.

Gary Sparrow is in...

Goodnight Sweetheart, the thing about time-travelling.

Do you think it might be things...? I think we should go next.

We'll have to go for the next one.

Next.

Time travellers.

BELL

Time travellers.

They are all time travellers.

What can you tell me about these people?

Back To The Future. You said...

Gary Sparrow's from Goodnight Sweetheart.

That's right.

And the other two...

Hank Morgan's ringing a bell, but...

Hank Morgan is from A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court.

Ah, right.

And Henry DeTamble... You don't know?

The Time Traveler's Wife or something like that?

Just because it involves time travel.

It IS The Time Traveler's Wife.

The Audrey Niffenegger book and the film.

He is the character in that.

Can anyone mount a serious counter-argument

to my statement that Back To The Future

is the greatest film ever made?

I thought not!

Greatest film ever made, GPs?

Dirty Dancing.

Oh!

That's one of the better counter-arguments I've heard.

But I still refute it.

Back To The Future - what a fantastic movie.

Well done, Festival Fans. Back to you now, GPs,

-to pick a question.

-Water, please.

OK. What is the connection between these clues? Here's the first.

Next, please.

It's a film by Fritz Lang.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Gromit...

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

33 minutes?

Three seconds.

BELL

Um...

I need an answer.

I think they've been robotically controlled at some point.

Oh, I like that argument.

They really haven't, but as a last-minute suggestion,

I like your thinking.

Festival Fans, do you want to go for a bonus point?

Things which are silent.

They are all silent.

Can you explain to your opponents what we're looking at here?

We've got the John Cage piece, a Fritz Lang film,

Gromit, who doesn't speak,

and I don't actually know what the first one is.

Freda Fry is a character in The Archers,

the wife of Bert Fry.

-Bert's wife!

-She doesn't speak.

And the Fritz Lang film Metropolis

is a silent film. 4'33" is a silent John Cage piece.

Has anyone ever heard that performed?

I've got the CD, but...

Well done, Festival Fans.

You get the bonus point and the chance to pick a question.

-Lion, please.

-Lion.

The music question. If these are all silent, it'll be tricky.

Shout "Next" when you want to hear the next clue.

Here's the first.

# I think I love you... #

That's David Cassidy.

I don't know what the connection is. Go for the next one.

Next.

# Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone... #

I've no idea what this is.

Partridge Family?

-Go for the third one.

-Next.

# Mr Jones and me... #

Who's this?

I don't know this one.

-I've heard it.

-Shall we have the next one? Next.

# Don't your feet get cold in the winter time... #

Just hit it.

BELL

-Go for Cassidys.

-You want...?

They're all Cassidys.

Your team captain didn't even want to say that for you!

I'm afraid they're NOT all Cassidys, although I see your thinking.

GPs, there's a chance of a bonus.

Chicks.

Chicks?

Well, birds and...chicks.

I'm going to accept it.

Birds is the answer.

I was thinking whether to accept chicks,

but that is absolutely close enough.

The first one was David Cassidy in the Partridge Family.

Partridge Family... What else did you hear?

I thought the Dixie Chicks was excerpt two.

See, actually, no.

It was Taylor Swift.

And then we had Counting Crows

and the Eagles.

Birds is the connection.

Very well done. You get that bonus point

and the chance to pick a question.

-Eye of Horus, please.

-Eye of Horus.

What's the connection between these clues? Here's the first.

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

Second longest? Second-biggest city, second-longest race?

-Could be.

-Next, please.

She's from the east.

I'd go next again.

Next, please.

-North.

-Angel of the North...

THEY CONFER

BELL

The North?

They are of the north.

Glinda was the Good Witch of the North.

The Witch of the East, the house fell on her.

That's the one from the beginning.

And what are these others known as?

Antony Gormley is the...

-Angel of the North.

-Angel of the North.

Birmingham is of course the...

Gateway to the North?

The Venice of the...

The Venice of the North, one thinks, going to Birmingham.

And the Paris-Roubaix cycle race - do you know about that?

No.

It's colloquially known as the Hell of the North,

because of the cobbles.

Ooh, not fun on a bicycle.

Well done, GPs, you get that.

And the last question of the round goes to the Festival Fans.

The Horned Viper. What is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

It's HG, so it's...

-postcodes and chemical symbols.

-Go for that.

BELL

There's a postcode and the chemical symbol

is going to be the same for each one.

Coming in after one clue, you get five points.

Excellent stuff! Welcome to Only Connect.

It is of course postcodes and chemical symbols

in partners.

Tell me what the letters would be for the rest of the clues.

-SN...

-Mm-hm.

-AL...

-Mm-hm.

-NE.

-NE.

That is right. Postcodes if they were chemical symbols.

At the end of Round One, then,

the GPs have got five points,

but the Festival Fans

are ahead with seven.

Time for Round Two - sequences.

You know when you wake up in the morning

and you're thinking about the night before?

You remember that it was someone's birthday and you went out for a drink.

You had a few drinks, you realised

you'd got the wrong day, but you stayed alone drinking anyway.

What came next?

You don't remember - it's just a blur.

Round Two is a bit like that.

There's three things in a sequence.

What's the fourth?

That's what I'll be asking the teams.

You can see a maximum of three clues before giving me the answer,

but the fewer clues you see, the more points you get.

GPs, you'll be going first again.

Which hieroglyph would you like?

-Horned Viper, please.

-Horned Viper.

OK, I want to know what's fourth

in this sequence. Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Still can't quite see it...

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

BELL

11: heaven.

And why would that be?

Because it's a sequence going 14, 13, 12...

-Yes?

-And then heaven is...

..as good a destination as anywhere!

What a lovely way of looking at things.

It is as good a destination as anywhere.

That's certainly a rule to live by, but not the answer in this case.

So there's a bonus chance for the Festival Fans.

11: Sea of Tranquillity.

It is 11: Sea of Tranquillity. And why is that?

The Apollos, where they went.

-Apart from 13, which had to come back.

-It went nowhere.

That's it. They are Moon landings

and of course Apollo 13 did not land anywhere.

But Apollo 11 in the Sea of Tranquillity.

Could be another phrase for heaven...but it isn't.

So a bonus for you, Festival Fans,

and which question would you like?

-Lion, please.

-Lion.

What would be fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

-What is that?

-It looks like a character with a dot at the top...

Next.

-They're symbols for something.

-Is it...?

Oh, God, I...

Next, I think.

-Oh, it's Angry Birds!

-Oh, God, I don't...

-Is it? What is it, then?

-I don't know.

Well...

Do we...?

Is it red...?

Do you want...?

BELL

Some kind of red bird?

It is a red bird. Very well done.

You recognised these were the Angry Birds.

I recognised the blue one.

Well, you can't have got very far in the game,

because it's going in reverse order.

-I've never played it!

-I've still got a 2005 Nokia!

-Do you play Angry Birds over there?

-Yeah.

How early did you recognise it?

Not until the second one came up, actually.

The yellow hat.

Ah, well, you've got to keep trying.

The red bird is what you start with,

and then the blue bird is next.

I mean, this is what I'm told!

I'm still playing Scrabble,

using old bone tiles!

But these are Angry Birds and you are correct

to surmise that red bird would be next,

going backwards.

GPs, your turn to choose.

Twisted Flax, please.

Twisted Flax. OK.

We're looking for a word here. Which word would be fourth

in this sequence?

Starting now.

Next, please.

Next, please.

Is it...?

Biennial?

Two years, that's biennial, isn't it?

Every two years.

Is it? OK.

THEY CONFER

-It's every two years.

-Biennial.

BELL

Biennial.

Biennial is the answer.

These are things happening half as often each time,

so quarterly...biannual would be twice a year,

annual would be half as often - yearly -

and every two years, biennial.

Well done. Back to you, Festival Fans, to make a choice.

Two Reeds, please.

OK. These are going to be picture clues.

What would you expect to see in the fourth picture?

Here's the first.

It looks like whisky.

It could be something like, um...

phonetic alphabet, cos that's in the phonetic alphabet.

Let's go next.

-No, OK.

-That's a cocktail.

-So it's not...

-That's a Martini, isn't it?

He takes a whisky drink, he takes a vodka drink,

-he takes a...

-Lager drink.

He takes a cider drink.

-Which way round are lager and cider?

-Go for the next one.

We'd better say next.

That's lager, so it could be cider.

-Yeah.

-Go for it.

BELL

It's a cider drink.

Sorry, I'm just lost in happy memories of this morning.

A cider drink - and why would that be?

-It's Chumbawumba.

-That song.

Tubthumping or something, it's called.

He takes a whisky drink, he takes a vodka drink,

he takes a lager drink, he takes a cider drink.

That is right,

as you have probably guessed

by the fact that the fourth clue has come up.

It is the drinks in Tubthumping.

Next would be a cider drink. Very well done.

OK, GPs. Would you recommend those four drinks

as a start to the day?

All in one glass, yeah.

My GP

is an old stick-in-the-mud about that sort of thing.

Your turn, then, GPs.

-Which question?

-Water, please.

Water. What is the fourth

in this sequence? Here's the first.

So it's Civil Service...

Next, please.

It's ascending...

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Ascending order of...

-It's ascending, isn't it?

-It is.

Is it Secretary of State?

BELL

Secretary of State.

That is the right answer.

-And why?

-Ascending order of seniority

-in Government departments.

-That's it.

MPs' titles in Government departments,

getting increasingly important.

Secretary of State would be at the top.

Festival Fans, we're back to you.

The Eye of Horus.

What would be the fourth

in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Is this going to be words?

We'd better have the next one.

Is it spelling?

Yeah, cos it could be vowels, so...

Es, Is, Os, Us...

Ewes?

-Yeah.

-Do you want to go for ewes?

-Yeah.

BELL

Shall we have ewes?

You have worked out the trick behind this.

It is the vowels spelt out.

Ease, eyes, owes and we've gone for the spelling E-W-E-S,

but a word that sounds like Us.

Ewes is the answer. Very well done.

That concludes Round Two.

Looking at the scores,

the GPs have got nine points,

but the Festival Fans

are ahead with 15.

It's the Connecting Wall round.

16 clues, all jumbled up, that the teams need to sort into four connected groups of four.

Festival Fans, you'll go first this time.

Let's see how you get on with this one.

You've got a choice - Lion or Water.

-Lion, please.

-OK.

You've got two and a half minutes to solve the Lion Wall,

starting now.

Buildings.

There's a Flatiron Building,

or that could be a...

No, that could be a...

Mop, mangle, that won't just be...

There's laundry.

-There's Mrs as well.

-Mrs Robinson.

-Mrs Malaprop. Mrs Doubtfire.

Mrs Mop.

Yeah. OK.

BUZZ

So that's not it.

Mrs Mangle?

She was in something as well.

Neighbours.

Washing - a dolly stick you use for washing.

You use a washboard.

A mangle. You use a washboard

and what else do you...?

You use a flat iron - all laundry.

BUZZ

There were too many.

There was an airer as well.

Dolly stick, mangle, airer, washboard.

That's it, yeah. So that's all washing.

-So Mrs...

-A coiffure is hair.

There's a coiffure, a do, a barnet

and a mop.

Now, remember it's three strikes and you're out.

What's the other group as well?

I'm trying to think

what the other one is.

What's Porterhouse?

-Is it steak?

-Yeah.

Is there a flat iron steak?

-Is there?

-I'm asking.

Don't think so.

So is that the Mrs?

Strip isn't Mrs, is it?

It can't be.

Are we going Doubtfire, Robinson... Mrs Grundy?

Have we done that one before?

No, we haven't done...

Doubtfire isn't a steak.

Malaprop isn't a steak.

Have we done this?

-Robinson and Grundy.

-Who is Mrs Grundy?

Let's try this first.

That's it. You've solved the Wall.

So that's four points for the groups you found.

Let's look for the connections.

Washboard, airer, mangle, dolly stick.

My mother had them all. They're old-fashioned uses for laundry.

Domestic laundry - you use a washboard and an airer at the end.

A mangle to get the water out, and a dolly stick

to bash it in the dolly tub.

Wow! Quite the laundry expert.

I'm impressed. Yes, that is exactly what they are.

Barnet, do, coiffure, mop.

-Hair.

-Just ways of saying your hairstyle. Exactly.

What about the next one - Doubtfire, Malaprop, Robinson, Grundy?

Mrs.

They're all characters known as Mrs.

Who's Mrs Grundy?

The only one I can think of is The Archers,

but there must be another one somewhere.

I didn't know it. Apparently, it's a generic name

meaning a person embodying conventional propriety

and prudery.

Tip of my tongue, sorry!

You wanted to put Mangle in that group.

Well, Mrs Mangle used to be a character on Neighbours, apparently.

It wasn't spelt like that, actually. She was Joe Mangel's mother.

With her chooks, I believe. Her little chickens.

Those were the days!

Yeah!

The last group - Porterhouse,

flat iron, T-bone and strip.

Steak, yeah.

They are cuts of beef often used in steaks.

So, four points for the groups you found.

Four points for the connections.

You get a bonus two for getting them all right.

That is a total of ten.

-More or less enjoyable than your last time on the wall?

-Much more enjoyable!

-Much more.

Let's bring in the GPs, see how they do with a new Connecting Wall.

16 clues. Still need sorting into four connected groups of four.

GPs, did you enjoy the Connecting Wall when you played it before?

-Definitely.

-Yeah, we got ten, so we were happy with that.

A dream come true, I think!

-So you're looking forward to this one?

-Yes.

Let's see how that goes.

You've got the Water Wall. The Lion's already been taken.

You've got two and a half minutes to solve it, starting now.

Daredevil, Iron Man...

Oil of Ulay's changed its name to Olay.

They're all...

Oh, yeah, changed names.

Jif is Cif.

-Dime bar...

-Immac has as well.

Remember, three strikes and you're out. Plenty of time.

Marathon Man...

Bo Derek is 10.

-Fly-half is 10.

-Decade is 10.

Number 10...

Wait a minute...

What's the other one?

-They're all running races.

-They're all running events.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

It's just too easy!

I mean, for people that have looked at the small bowels of the guinea pig,

this you could do blindfolded!

Four points for finding the groups.

Let's look for the connections.

Blade, Hulk, Iron Man, Daredevil.

They're all superheroes

and they've had movies made about them as well.

That's basically it. There's another thing.

-Marvel?

-They're all Marvel comic book heroes.

Let's go for their real names.

Let's see how much you know.

-Tony...

-Tony Stark.

Tony Stark is Iron Man.

Bruce Banner's the Hulk.

Bruce Banner's the Hulk in the comics, then on TV he's...?

-David Banner.

-David Banner, exactly.

Played by?

Oh, great actor...

Eric Bana. It all gets very confusing.

Eric Bana in the film.

Bill Bixby on TV.

All very quizzy stuff, this!

Daredevil - what's his name?

-I don't know.

-Matt Murdock, his name is.

And Blade?

-No.

-Eric Brooks, the vampire hunter.

Anyway, you only needed to say they were comic book heroes

and you've done that, so let's move on.

Jif, Dime, Immac, Oil of Ulay.

They're all products that have changed their name recently.

-Changed the name of the brand.

-They changed to the international names

Cif, Daim - said in a funny way.

Immac - what's that called?

Veet.

Oh!

Someone's got a nice tidy chest.

Of course, you posed only in a loincloth as a Greek god!

I did!

I'm not disappointed at your Veet knowledge. Good work.

And Oil of Olay. Next group...

Decade, Prime Minister, fly-half, Bo Derek.

It's number 10.

They are associated with number 10.

Decade - ten years, of course.

Fly-half - position number ten. It's on the back of the jersey.

Bo Derek - that magnificent film, 10.

And the Prime Minister lives at number 10.

Unless he decides to move into number 11

and give that house to somebody else.

And finally, hurdles, marathon, sprint, relay.

-They're running races.

-They're running races.

So, four points for finding the groups,

four points for the connections,

a bonus of two for getting it all right.

That is the maximum of ten points.

Let's have a look at the scores going into the final round.

If you want to play Connecting Wall, you'll find some on our website,

where you can also write your own.

You're a little behind, GPs. Do you find that stressful,

or are you like Rocky -

-you prefer to go behind so you can fight back?

-Yeah, I think so.

It's good to have something to work against.

We're usually running late anyway!

Always having to catch up, definitely.

Round Four, missing vowels. Come on, you know how it works,

and if you don't, you can guess by the title of the round -

missing vowels. If you don't know what that means, you're on the wrong channel.

Fingers on buzzers, teams.

The first group all had UK Number One hits in the 1950s.

-GPs.

-Jerry Lee Lewis.

-Correct.

Festival Fans.

-You pressed it.

-Too long, I'm afraid.

I'm going to have to throw it over for a possible bonus.

-Al Martino.

-Correct. Next clue.

Don't know this one? It's Paul Anka.

Next clue.

-GPs.

-Bill Haley And His Comets.

-Correct.

Next category - triangular things.

-Festival Fans.

-Set square.

-Correct.

-GPs.

-Road warning sign.

-Correct.

Not seeing this one? It's a Mr Man - Mr Rush. Next clue.

-GPs.

-Samosa.

-I don't mind if I do.

Next category - fictional Johns.

-Fans.

-Tarzan.

John Clayton III. Correct.

-GPs.

-The Loner Ranger.

-John Reid. Correct.

-Fans.

-Doctor Watson.

It is of course John H Watson. Next clue.

-GPs.

-Rambo.

-Yes. John J Rambo.

Next category - varieties of tea.

-Fans.

-Gunpowder.

-Correct.

-GPs.

-Lapsang souchong.

-Correct.

-GPs.

-Orange pekoe.

-Correct.

-Fans.

-Assam.

-Correct.

Next category - one-word winners of the Best Picture Oscar.

-Fans.

-Unforgiven.

-Correct.

END OF ROUND JINGLE

I'm glad that's over, because it's unbearably close

and I can't take the tension.

That last one was Amadeus.

But at the end of the quiz,

the GPs have got a brilliant 28 points,

but the Festival Fans have just pipped it

with 30.

Very well done.

So it is you guys who are still in with a chance

to make the semifinal. Congratulations.

We'll see you again.

GPs, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you

to stop coming to my surgery.

I've got important things to do. I'm sorry.

You've been an absolutely fantastic team. Some great quizzing.

Well done, everyone here.

I hope you're all going to go off

and have a nice big mug of refreshing tea.

Or, as I call it, Scotch.

Goodbye.

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