Globetrotters v Bakers Only Connect

Hello, and welcome to Only Connect, BBC Four's hardest quiz.

It's also BBC Four's easiest quiz.

Not only that, it's BBC Four's only quiz.

It's a lot better than Challenge TV's only documentary!

We've got a high-stakes game, because both the teams have already won a game and lost a game.

The winners will be going to the semifinal

and the losers will be going home.

Let's kick off a tense night by saying hello again to,

on my right, Michael Reeve,

an evolutionary genetics expert with a passion for the music of Puccini and Verdi,

who once danced with McFly at an Oxford Street flash mob;

Suda Perera, a conflict analyst, blogger

and former county skipping champion; and their captain, Chris Clough,

a web production editor and poker player

who once spilt a beer over his favourite band, Belle and Sebastian.

United by a passion for package holidays,

they are the Globetrotters.

Chris, you lost to the Boardgamers then you grounded the Pilots.

-What can we expect from you today?

-I think we learned from the experience of the first matches.

We're well-rested, so hopefully we can be quicker on the buzzers

and that'll stand us in good stead.

You are facing tonight, on my left,

Tim Spain, an aurora borealis specialist

who has walked both the Ridgeway and the Inca trail;

Matt Rowbotham, an Oxford law graduate

who is an accomplished snow sculptor and enjoys designing 3D Christmas cards;

and their captain, Peter Steggle,

a speech writer who once swam from Turkey to Greece in two hours.

United by a craving for cupcakes, they are the Bakers.

Peter, I don't usually ask about these, but Turkey to Greece in two hours. Who was after you?

The truth is, it was actually from Greece to Turkey.

It's easier than you imagine. You touch a rock, swim across and watch out for jellyfish.

That could turn into quite the metaphor for quizzing.

Can you avoid the jellyfish tonight?

Let's get on with Round One. What is the connection between four apparently random clues?

Bakers, you won the toss. You elected to go first. Is there a reason why?

I like water. I get very frustrated when people don't choose water.

So you might guess what I'm going to say next.

Please choose your Egyptian hieroglyph.

Water, please.

You SO should have said Horned Viper. What a chance!

The Water question will be first.

What's the connection between these clues?

WHISPERING

Next, please.

WHISPERING

OK. The same as the predecessor?

-Yeah, I think so.

-Let's go for it.

BELL

Same person as the first.

Coming in after two clues.

Here are the other clues. Can you tell me who they relate to?

The first one is Marie Curie.

Marie Curie, second female laureate and also the first in science.

First woman to do that.

The leader of the second Labour government was...aherm.

I know the second rule of Fight Club.

Questions two and three? I'm drawing a blank.

What is the first and second rule of Fight Club?

-Don't talk about Fight Club.

-You don't talk about Fight Club.

-Do you know, Globetrotters?

-Ramsay MacDonald.

It is. And the second Super Bowl winners, who are they?

-Green Bay Packers?

-It was the Green Bay Packers. Very good knowledge.

Points for you and good background for you, Globetrotters.

-You may now choose your own question.

-Horned Viper, please.

What do these clues have in common?

"Signwriting quill: Condor"?

Next.

"Welsh roofing slate: Empress"?

Signwriting quill?

-Do you know anything about any of them?

-No.

Next, please.

-"US hailstone: Softball".

-The size of something?

Is that what these are called?

Yeah. That could be it.

The same size as... Next.

It's the largest size.

-Three seconds.

-BELL

These are all the largest sizes of these things.

The largest signwriting quill is called a Condor.

Largest Welsh roofing slate is presumably called the Empress.

-And so on, I guess.

-That's it.

I think signwriting quills originally came from the bird.

A lark, a crow and the biggest would be the condor.

Largest sizes of things.

-How many litres of champagne in a Nebuchadnezzar?

-16?

-Is that insane. They are huge.

-20.

It was a trick question. I meant a Nebuchadnezzar of my own.

The answer is none, it's empty.

Before I started on it, 15 litres of champagne in one of those.

Wow!

Well done to you. Bakers, your next chance to get some champagne.

-Which question would you like?

-Lion, please.

-MUSICAL NOTE

-The music question.

What do these clues share? Here's the first.

ORCHESTRAL MUSIC

Next, please.

# I've been in this town so long That back in the city

# I've been taken for lost and gone And unknown... #

Next.

ORCHESTRAL MUSIC

Next, please.

# Where have all the good men gone And where are all the gods...? #

-Yeah.

-BELL

We're holding out for a hero. Heroes.

-LAUGHS

-You are the hero of the hour.

Bonnie Tyler, that was the last one. What else did you hear?

-Heroes And Villains by the Beach Boys.

-That's right.

"Thine be the glory, risen conquering son,"

which I don't know by another name but must have one.

The tune is Handel, See The Conquering Hero Comes.

It was used for a hymn. What about the first one? Do you know that?

-Not the foggiest.

-Really? Do you know over there?

-It may be Beethoven's Eroica.

-It is Eroica, Italian for "heroic".

Globetrotters, it's your chance to choose a question.

Eye of Horus, please.

What do these clues have in common?

"Entirely sacred". Any ideas?

Next.

That's NB, note bene.

All right. So English translations of Latin phrases?

Are we confident enough to go for that?

-You think they're abbreviations?

-I think just Latin phrases.

-Go for one more.

-Are you sure?

-I'm scared!

-Next.

Oh, good decision there! Next.

Three seconds.

BELL

Yup?

They are all... So, a light-coloured bucket

is both a pail and it's pale.

And I'm assuming the same can be said for the other things.

LAUGHS

What can be said for the other things?

There's a homophone adjective which is also the same as, um...

-the word that can also mean the phrase there.

-Curses!

I owe the question editor £1. You got the answer right.

I said nobody would get this.

They are pairs of homophones. The last one is pale pail.

-Do you want to have a go at the other clues?

-Wholly holy.

Wholly holy.

Enact a levy on...? Tax tacks.

Enact a levy on pushpins, tax tacks. Note correctly?

-Write right?

-It is write right!

They're not all adjectives and nouns but they are pairs of homophones.

-Well done.

-Very well done, indeed.

-Back to you, Bakers.

-Twisted Flax, please.

What do these clues have in common?

WHISPER

Next, please.

Is it the name of the country?

Yes. I think it might be.

-Do you want to go for it?

-Shall we?

-Yeah.

-OK.

BELL

It's what the name of the country is derived from.

Ah! I'm afraid it is not.

I'm going to show the other two clues to the Globetrotters,

for a possible bonus point.

The name of the capital?

-Does it relate to the name of the capital?

-It doesn't.

It is about names, so you're in the right area.

It is the translation of the most popular surname in the country.

Silva or da Silva in Brazil. Chinese for "king", anybody know?

-Wang?

-Chang?

Wang. That is the most popular name in China.

-In Italy, do you know red-haired?

-Bruno?

-Testa Rossa?

-SUDA: Rossi?

You're in the right world. It's Rossi or Russo.

These names overtake each other. And in Germany, Miller is...

-Muller.

-Muller. They're translations of the most popular names.

Close, but no points, I'm afraid.

Globetrotters, back to you for the last question, Two Reeds.

I suspect they're going to be picture clues.

What do they have in common?

Any idea what that is?

Next.

-MICHAEL: That's Lord's, isn't it?

-Y-yeah.

Next.

MICHAEL: They're probably by the same architect.

-Could the second one by the Oval?

-No, that's definitely Lord's.

-Shall we go for next?

-Yeah.

Next, please.

MICHAEL: That's Peckham library, but I don't know who designed it.

Anything about anything?

-Lord's. Peckham library.

-Three seconds.

BELL

-Named after nobility?

-They're all named after...

-ranks of the nobility?

-Wow! Where did that come from?

Lord's?

They are not all named after ranks of nobility. Bakers?

I think they've all won the Stirling Prize.

They have won the RIBA Stirling Prize for the best new building.

You recognised Peckham library.

-I live in south London.

-What rank of nobility would it be?

Maybe it had a name like Duke's or something!

Probably the last building in the world that is still a library!

Now, you did not, Chris, recognise the first picture.

"Where is that?" you said.

Do you want to think about what that might be?

-SCOTTISH ACCENT:

-Glasgow?

-The Scottish Parliament building!

-Oh, right!

-That old friend!

The Lord's media centre, of course. Do you know that third picture?

-No.

-No.

It's the Sainsbury Laboratory at Cambridge.

Well done, Bakers, for the bonus point.

Architectural designs that won the RIBA Stirling Prize.

That means, at the end of Round One...

Round Two, Sequences. "What comes fourth?" is the question I want answered.

The first team to answer that is you, Bakers.

-Which hieroglyph would you like?

-Eye of Horus, please.

What is the fourth in this particular sequence?

Next, please.

WHISPERING

It is TV, isn't it? But how does it go?

-WHISPERING

-Let's have the next one.

Next, please.

North of... Highlands?

-Scotland?

-No, that's BBC.

WHISPERING

-It's something to do with the Highlands.

-Highlands?

Yeah. Let's go for it.

BELL

-Highlands.

-Not the answer.

Globetrotters, you've got the chance for a bonus point.

Is it Scottish or Scotland? STV.

I was thinking I'll have to accept Scottish because it's an old name.

It's STV and why is that?

It's ITV regions going from south up to north.

Going north up the east coast of Britain.

ITV regions. Well done for the bonus point.

-You may choose your own question.

-We'll have Water, please.

What is the fourth in this sequence?

Might be something that's protected.

Next.

Totally your question, Suda. I'm sorry, I don't know.

-Can we get the second one?

-Next, please.

Yes, so it's developed countries.

First World, Second World...

OK, yeah. Right, OK.

-Developed countries?

-First World.

BELL

-1 = Developed countries.

-That's right.

Or capitalist countries. It is the First World.

Fourth World is a term rarely used but refers to indigenous minorities.

Inuit people, for example, but it's not geographic.

Well done.

-Back to you, Bakers, to choose a question.

-Horned Viper, please.

What's the fourth in this little sequence?

WHISPERING

Next, please.

WHISPERING

BELL

Christopher Columbus, 1492.

That is absolutely the right answer. Third was John Cabot, 1497.

-Why?

-People who crossed the Atlantic in reverse chronological order?

-For their first crossing?

-Sort of. It's about landing in America.

4th, 3rd, 2nd, 1st European explorers

to land in America in the 15th century.

The first, Christopher Columbus, 1492. Very well done.

-Globetrotters, it's your turn.

-Twisted Flax, please.

What would you expect to see fourth here?

Next.

-Sections of something.

-Yeah. Shall we go next again?

Next.

Mesocarp, OK. That's good.

-What is it, a husk?

-Yes.

Just husk? Yeah? Go for that.

I'm useless on this one.

BELL

-Is it the husk?

-I can't take that, I'm afraid.

There's a bonus chance for the Bakers.

-Shell?

-That's not it either.

You're giving the right sort of answer. These are technical terms.

It is the anatomy of a fruit and it would be the external casing.

-Known as exocarp.

-OK.

Two questions left. Bakers, which appeals to you?

Lion, please.

What is the fourth in this sequence?

WHISPERING

Is that when John Major became Prime Minister?

Don't know. I think we need another one.

Next.

Newcastle.

Gordon Brown, David Cameron. Who does David Cameron support?

Oh, I see! What's the constituency?

2010...

-It must be

-10. Yeah.

What constituency is he?

Oxford, Didcot?

-Three seconds.

-BELL

Cameron, 10, on a shirt of the Oxford football team.

Not the answer, I'm afraid.

I'm going to show the third to the Globetrotters. What comes fourth?

It would be Cameron, 10, with an Aston Villa shirt.

That's it, Aston Villa. It would look like this, purple and blue.

Or I believe they call it claret and blue.

I prefer to save the word claret for more important occasions.

Yes, I can see your logic.

I think when politicians calculate how to win over the electorate,

he wouldn't pretend to support the team from his constituency.

He'd have to pretend he'd been supporting a team from boyhood.

Not that he's pretending. I'm sure he never misses a match(!)

Aston Villa is the team supported by David Cameron.

They show the name of successive Prime Ministers

and the years of their election.

Well done, Globetrotters. You're going to get the Two Reeds.

These are also picture clues.

What would you expect to see in the fourth picture?

Boy George. Next.

George Harrison.

Boy George, George Harrison.

What's next, then?

Next.

That's Harrison Ford.

So it's Ford... Boy George, George Harrison, Harrison Ford.

-Somebody called Ford.

-Ford Madox Brown.

-That'll do fine.

BELL

-A picture of Ford Madox Brown?

-And who's Ford Madox Brown?

He is a writer, I believe.

-Are you thinking of Ford Madox Ford?

-Yeah.

It doesn't matter. I'll take it. We went with Ford Prefect.

From the Hitchhiker's Guide.

The names all overlap. Boy George, George Harrison,

Harrison Ford, Ford Prefect or Ford Madox Ford.

There might be a painter called Ford Madox Brown.

Anyone whose name begins with Ford would complete that sequence.

And at the end of Round Two...

Time to put our contestants on the rack, the connecting rack,

which isn't really a synonym for "wall".

Globetrotters, it's your turn to go first.

You have a choice - Lion or Water?

Well, the Bakers told us they really like Water.

-We could be nice, but we'll be mean and have the Water.

-Ooh!

You're taking the Water Wall from under their noses! Water it is.

You've got two and a half minutes to solve it starting now.

OK, so we've got Poet Laureates.

There's five - Austin and Duffy as well.

Shall I start?

We have rivers, Missouri. Lakes - Eerie, Iowa. Oh, no.

-There's only two states.

-Places in India?

-Ouzo?

-It's a drink, isn't it? But are they also lakes?

Loads start with two vowels.

No.

High altitude. Radiation sickness.

Altitude sickness, morning sickness, motion sickness.

Three strikes and you're out now. Plenty of time.

Queue, Eerie...

Oh, two sets of double vowels?

Ouzo, Eerie, Queue and Audio, maybe.

That leaves Saratoga, Iowa.

-Two sets of double vowels?

-UE-UE. EE-IR.

-ALL SPEAK AT ONCE

-No, we don't.

When we did things that start with double vowels, what did we do?

-Ouzo, Eerie.

-We've definitely tried that.

-Iowa, Eerie, Ouzo?

-Yeah.

-OK.

Queue...

Let's think of other things, then. Duffy, singer.

Michael...?

What do we think of Saratoga?

It is obviously two states. Are they rivers as well?

-Try Saratoga, Eerie, Iowa and Missouri?

-OK.

-No, right.

-Isn't Ouzo a river?

Audio... Any word things?

Anything you can put in front?

20 seconds.

Let's press something. What shall we press...

-Ooh!

-You've solved the Wall!

As you knew you were going to(!) That's four points.

Let's look for connections. Austin, Dryden, Betjeman, Southey.

They are all Poets Laureate.

Motion, Radiation, Altitude, Morning.

They are all types of sickness.

That's right.

What about this one? Iowa, Duffy, Saratoga, Missouri.

Are they all tributaries of the Mississippi?

They're really not. You just didn't know this one. They're war ships.

Oh, right. No.

And the last one - Queue, Audio, Eerie, Ouzo?

-Double vowels?

-You know that can't be the answer!

So many words have double vowels.

You're dancing around it. It is about the words.

What they all contain is one consonant.

-ALL: Oh!

-Just the one consonant.

You get four points for the groups you found

and two points for the connections - a total of six.

Time to bring back the Bakers, give them newly scrambled clues

and see if they can unscramble them in two and a half minutes.

Bad news. The other team took the Water Wall because they thought you wanted it.

-Ah!

-That leaves you with Lion.

You have two and a half minutes, just like they did,

and that begins now.

These are all diets.

Atkins could be something else. I'm not sure the others could be.

Daguerreotype, Braille, physical.

-Are they named after people who invented them?

-Stethoscope?

Oh, is that not?

These are types of magic trick.

We've had that already.

Stephen King?

Mo Mowlam?

Three strikes and you're out now.

F-Plan, Dukan, South Beach, Bikini, I think we've done.

I can't think there's a stethoscope diet.

That's magic tricks, we think.

Prior, Mowlam, King, Atkins?

-It's not "Mo"s. Is it Canadians?

-Richard Prior?

I'm not even sure if he's an "ior".

I think they're named after the people who came...

Maybe not.

Daguerreotype's a photograph. Braille's obviously Braille.

Ah! Oh, no.

Oh, Bikini's named after the atoll.

Because Daguerreotype's named after Daguerre.

-What's Stethoscope?

-It's listening to something.

Shall we try...?

That's four points immediately. What about the connections?

Metamorphosis, Guillotine, Milk Can Escape, Zig Zag Girl.

We think they're all magic tricks.

They are. Well done.

What about this? Prior, Mowlam, King, Atkins.

I think these might be comedians?

Well, some would say so, but officially,

they're Secretaries of State for Northern Ireland.

Atkins not a diet. Humphrey Atkins was under Margaret Thatcher.

South Beach, Zone, F-Plan, Dukan?

-These are all diets.

-Yes, they are.

I bet somewhere in the world there IS a stethoscope diet!

And Bikini, Stethoscope, Daguerreotype, Braille.

-These are things that are named after...

-No.

-Are they all invented in France?

-Oh, we'll do that!

-They were all invented in France.

-They WERE all invented in France.

I thought you were saying they were named after their inventors.

Daguerreotype and Braille yes. Stethoscope and Bikini, no.

All invented in France is correct.

You get four points for the groups you found and three more for the connections - a total of seven.

Let's have a look at the scores as we go into the final round.

If you want to play some walls, you will find them on our website.

Not enough for you? Write your own!

We're going to play the Missing Vowels round

to decide who's in the semifinal and who's going home.

Good luck, teams. Fingers on buzzers, please.

The first group are all...

-BELL

-Auld Reekie.

-BELL

-The Great Wen.

-BELL

-Queen of the South.

BELL The Granite City.

Next category:

-BELL

-Per ardua ad astra.

-BELL

-Pluribus unum.

I have to deduct a point and throw it over.

-E pluribus unum.

-E pluribus unum. That is the extra missing vowel.

BELL Invicta.

-BELL

-Ars gratia artis.

Next category:

-BELL

-Attack Of The Fifty Foot Woman.

BELL The Blob.

-BELL

-Glen Or Glenda.

END-OF-QUIZ JINGLE

You didn't know that last one? I Was A Teenage Werewolf.

But it's the end of the quiz and in a horrible, nail-biting finish,

the Globetrotters have 19 points,

but the Bakers have 20.

Bakers, you are through to the semifinal. You look delighted(!)

Globetrotters, I'm afraid we have to say goodbye.

Thank you very much for playing. You've all been great.

Join us next time when you can enjoy six more smart cookies.

Well, it's nice to have a snack when you're watching TV. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd