Press Gang v Science Editors Only Connect

Hello and welcome to Only Connect.

I'm joined by two teams who have already played before and lost

so we're giving them another chance.

But they lost at Only Connect, a noble endeavour, like making an unsuccessful pass at Johnny Depp.

It's not humiliating, like getting a brush-off from Peter Stringfellow,

as I know to my cost.

So let's say hello again to, on my right,

Emily Phillips, a puzzles compiler

who translated from French to English a novel on cannibalism called Eat Him If You Like;

Richard Colfer, a physics and computing graduate

and former junior chess champion with a passion for Charlie Brooker and sherbet lemons;

and their captain, Robin Seavill,

a modern languages graduate who enjoys drawing and once appeared in a film starring Helen Mirren

All puzzle writers for the Press Association - the Press Gang.

Have you been writing practice puzzles in advance?

We have a few. We've been doing the Walls on our laptop and in work.

Keeping ourselves frosty, we hope. Very good luck.

You are facing tonight, on my left, Andrew Cosgrove,

a former laboratory researcher who spent a year in New Zealand

investigating the genetics of the tuatara species;

Shreeya Nanda, a genetics graduate

who is a member of the Covent Garden Cocktail Club and speaks Punjabi and Russian

and their captain, Kester Jarvis,

a biological journal editor who enjoys baking and exploring London museums.

United by a passion for the periodic table - the Science Editors.

You lost to the Oenophiles. What's your new approach?

We decided we were probably choosing the wrong hieroglyphics,

so we're going for a different set.

How do you feel about the role of captain? Do you enjoy responsibility?

It's a lot more stressful than I imagined.

Why don't we let the stress begin immediately?

What's the connection between four apparently random clues?

The teams will remember this with a small jolt of horror.

Science Editors, you won the toss.

Please choose your Egyptian hieroglyph.

Lion, please. You've chosen well. It's the music question!

Lovely. We'll get it out of the way.

What is the connection between these clues?

MAN SINGING

Any idea what this is? No?

Next please. WOMAN SINGING

Do you know what this is?

I recognise the voice. It's Jennifer Lopez, I think.

Next please. MAN SINGING

That's Craig David. Craig David

Er... What's the link?

Go "next". Next please.

WOMAN SINGING

So, it was "featuring Craig David".

Is it famous singers featuring in somebody else's song?

BELL

We're going to say famous singers featuring in somebody else's song.

Not the answer, I'm afraid. A bonus chance for the Press Gang.

The third one was Artful Dodger. It could be Dickens characters?

Dickens characters. Talk me through the four clues. Emily?

I just knew the third one, I think, might have been by Artful Dodger.

Isn't he in Oliver?

There is a version of the third track

that features the Artful Dodger though not that one.

The artists were Pitbull, Jennifer Lopez, Craig David and Sam Brown.

It's not about the artists but the titles of the songs, which were ..

Your turn Press Gang, to pick a question. Eye of Horus, please.

What's the connection between these clues?

Smash? Next one.

Any idea? No. Next one, please.

Made from something special?

Can we say Oxo? Why Oxo? Isn't that what it is?

Next one, please.

Cranberries. Colours?

We're going to have to say something quickly. Three seconds.

Say something.

PRESSES BUTTON No, the time's run out.

A possible bonus chance for the Science Editors.

Are they all invented in Canada

Cranberries.

Cranberries... I know what you mean. ..probably weren't invented anywhere

apart from, obviously, the Bible!

Are they listed there? Not all invented in Canada.

They have all been subject to..

Do you know what that is? Not a clue.

It's when Delia Smith mentions something in a recipe,

there's a craze and it sells out.

No points yet. Science Editors your turn to pick a hieroglyph

We'll have Two Reeds, please.

These are going to be picture clues. What connects them?

Next, please.

A man...

A pan? Stephen King novel?

Mowing? I don't know.

Next, please.

That's a monkey jumping on a bed. LAUGHS

It's going to be bangers. What did you say?

There was a lawnmower in a Stephen King novel.

Next, please.

Oh, they're songs. It's the last thing at the end of a song.

BELL

The last thing at the end of a song.

I might take that, but have another go.

It's songs where you add something to each verse that's the same.

Like the sausages sizzling in a pan.

One man went to mow, went to mow a meadow. Then his dog came along.

Then the bottles on the wall. The monkey jumps in a bed in a song?

I'll give you the point. And they all rolled over and one fell out?

Don't sing the whole song! LAUGHTER

I'm hoping to hear a counting song, but you're right.

Songs where you take something out each time. Ten fat sausages.

One man went to mow. You go upwards from there.

There is one about monkeys jumping on the bed.

Then the green bottles, the famous one, on the wall.

Ten green bottles in my dressing room, so let's hurry up!

One point to you, Science Editors. Press Gang? Twisted Flax, please.

What's the connection between these clues? Here's the first.

Is this a song?

It could be. We need to see the next one. Next, please.

1897? "Are you ready?" It's a dash.

Advertising slogans? Yeah. Could be.

Next one, please.

OK, they're not.

What are those dates, for heaven's sake?

What happened in 1897?

Next one, please.

That was the first thing that was said on Twitter.

BUZZER

These are the first things said on certain campaigns or slogans

or advertising features in those years.

Now, I was lenient with your opponents. What do you think it is?

First thing said on different media. Twitter, the last one.

Um...telegraph might be there. That's what it is.

First things said in different communication media. Quite right.

What do you think they were? Which types of communication?

Could the first one be the internet?

It's actually the first text message, sent by a computer

because you couldn't send them from phones.

So sent by a computer to a phone.

"Are you ready?" 1897.

Telegraph? Wireless? An overseas wireless message sent by Marconi.

1844, "What hath God wrought" was the first telegram, as you knew.

Who sent that, do you suppose? A British Prime Minister. It wasn't.

It was Samuel Morse. The content was suggested by his daughter.

Maybe that's just what he wanted people to think, but apparently so.

Well done. You've got a point. Back to the Science Editors.

We'll have Water, please. What is the connection between these clues?

Panther, you could spell.

Next, please.

"CID", that's an insect, isn't it?

OK. Next, please.

Oh, it IS insects. "BEE". No, it's "COD".

It's "BEE". It's "COD", though

So it's just animals, then. BELL

They can all be filled in with other animals. That's it.

Animals swallowed by animals. What animals are missing?

"BAT".

There's "ANT", "COD", "BEE" and "BAT".

"BAT" from "ALBATROSS", "ANT" for "PANTHER",

"COD" for CROCODILE and "BEE" for WILDEBEEST. Well done.

And the last question is coming to you, Press Gang. Horned Viper.

Let's see what's hiding inside THAT animal.

Next, please.

They might have committed crimes. I don't know if Melba did.

Next, please.

Flo Rida?

He's a rapper.

They've all taken their names from somewhere?

Have they? Was Winona Ryder not called Winona Ryder? No.

She's changed her name. Flo Rida, where does she come from?

He's a rapper. He would have named himself after the state of Florida.

Can we have the last one, please?

BUZZER

These are people who are all named after a place.

That's what it is - named after the place they were born, in fact.

I love you for the question, "Flo Rida, where's she from?"

The kind of thing I might say myself. The answer is self-evident.

Not a rap fan? I know no...

After Abba broke up, I lost interest. I know what you mean

Winona Ryder was born in Winona, Minnesota.

Dame Nellie Melba is a stage name. Helen Porter Mitchell, her name is.

Named herself after where?

Melbourne? Melbourne. Yes.

Melbourne, where she came from Very well done. Named after places.

At the end of Round One, then..

The sequences round now. You may see one, two or three clues,

but not four, because I want to know what comes fourth.

Science Editors, what is your brilliant hieroglyphic choice?

Water was kind to us before, so we'll go with it again.

It's never been kind to me! What is the fourth in this sequence?

You look like you might know who he is.

Yeah. Can't think what it is, though. Next.

Is that the guy who int...? No. Invented the Biro, but no. No?

OK. Next, please.

John Landy?

Oh, it's husbands of someone.

Oh, is it? I don't know who, though.

First one, then? Um...

Richard Burton? It's not Elizabeth Taylor?

Probably not, is it?

I'm going to say it if you don't come up with something better.

BELL 1st: Richard Burton.

Always worth having a go, but that is not it.

There's a bonus chance for the Press Gang.

1st: Roger Bannister. The answer is 1st: Roger Bannister.

Why's that? People who broke the four-minute mile in reverse order.

The 4th, 3rd and 2nd people to run a mile in under four minutes.

First was, of course, Roger Bannister.

You get a bonus point, Press Gang, and the chance to choose a question.

Lion, please. These are going to be pictures

What would you expect to see in the last picture?

Monica Lewinsky.

Next one, please.

Erica Roe. Erica Roe.

Did things for a sex act. It's not a sex act!

I'm not going to say that. Third, please.

Oh, that is Rita Hayworth.

They're called "the body"?

I wouldn't think Monica Lewinsky was called "the body!"

Fourth, please. We can't see the fourth! Right

We're going back in time?

Famous for something!

Three seconds.

PUSHES BUTTON No, the time is up.

Science Editors? We're going to guess at Christine Keeler.

Why? We were going with scandals, based on Monica Lewinsky.

You're so close, and you could so nearly get that point,

but it's not quite - and for entirely the wrong reasons.

I understand why you wouldn't get it as you gave up on music after Abba.

But this is the 1999 Lou Bega hit Mambo No 5.

He sang about women, "A little bit this one, that one."

Monica he sings about. We chose Monica Lewinsky.

Erica would come next. We picked Erica Roe, the Twickenham streaker.

Rita comes next. We picked Rita Hayworth.

And I needed to hear someone called Tina.

You said Christine Keeler, but I think not known by anyone as Tina.

Actually close with that guess but I can't give you a bonus point.

I can give you the chance to choose a question. Twisted Flax, please.

What is the fourth in this sequence?

No idea. Next, please.

This is going to be sizes of something.

Or is it number of points in a tennis match?

UNCLEAR

Oh, I see what you mean, but what's the sequence?

I don't know. Next, please.

Oh, it's the size of a spoon in millilitres.

Teaspoon = 5.

BELL Tea = 5.

Tea = 5 is the answer I'm looking for.

I think I heard you say they are spoon sizes in millilitres.

The next one would be a teaspoon for five.

Press Gang, it's your turn. Eye of Horus, please.

What is the fourth in this sequence?

Next one, please.

The sons of... RICHARD: Pets?

Who would be the next one? Bush, Clinton... Obama.

What's the name of Obama's dog? Don't know.

It's a labradoodle.

What's its name? I don't know what his pet's called.

That's annoying. No point asking for another one.

If we can just think of his name.

Sasha. I think it's Sasha.

BUZZER

Sasha... Sasha Obama.

That is not the answer, I'm afraid.

I'm going to show the third in the sequence for a bonus point.

Barney, so what's it going to be? OK. We'll say Socks Obama.

No. I see how you got confused The answer is Bo Obama.

You're thinking of Bill Clinton's cat.

You're thinking of Barack Obama s daughter. We are. No, we're not

Well, his daughter is called Sasha. His dog is called Bo. Right.

You're all in the right area, but can't get the point.

Right, Science Editors. What question would you like?

We'll have Two Reeds please.

What's the fourth in this sequence?

George RR Martin books. Yes.

We've got to find out which way it's going.

It's going to be 1st: Game Of Thrones.

The titles are all planned up to number seven. Next, please.

OK.

BELL 1st: A Game Of Thrones.

That's absolutely right...

This is the series of which books?

A Song Of Ice And Fire by George RR Martin?

That is absolutely right. Perfect answer.

One question remains for you, Press Gang. It's the Horned Viper.

What is the fourth in this sequence?

Could be the Milky Way song.

Next one, please.

UNCLEAR Um...

Only that they might be mentioned in the Galaxy Song.

Do you want to risk it? I don't know what the last thing would be.

I think we should see another one. Next one, please.

Would it be Moon?

No, it's closer than that.

Three seconds. Say "you and me"

BUZZER You and me.

You and me? Mm-hm. Why would it be that?

Richard, why would it be that?

Might be things mentioned in the Galaxy Song, Monty Python.

Oh, I see, but no. That wouldn't be a sequence.

A bonus chance for the Science Editors. We'll try the Earth's core?

No. What it is. This is a sequence, each orbits around the previous

The Sun goes round the galactic Centre, the Earth around the Sun.

Something that orbits around the Earth, so the Moon

or some sort of satellite, but something that goes round the Earth.

No points on that one.

At the end of Round Two...

Time for the Connecting Wall, 16 jumbled up clues to be sorted into four connected groups of four.

Points available for groups and connections and you, Press Gang, will go first.

Would you like Lion or Water? Lion, please.

You have two and a half minutes to solve it, starting now.

I have a guess of the Dogs of War. Anything come to anybody?

Trigger's the name of a horse. EMILY: Kwik cricket, Test cricket.

There's some crickets, maybe. French cricket.

- First class, French... - Kwik and Test.

- OK. - There's T20 as well.

Keep doing those.

What's Boffo and Copacetic? I don't know what that is.

Musicals? RICHARD: Missiles? Havoc missiles?

Could well be. A-1 sounds like a missile.

It's a band as well.

Bride Wars, was that a film with somebody?

Starring Anne Hathaway. One Day. . Anne Hathaway.

We need one more film with her in. First Class, I suspect.

Boffo, Trigger, Topper, Havoc are they characters?

Champion is a horse. Trigger is a horse. Silver is a horse.

Shall we get some of them out the way?

First Class is a racehorse, I think. You think?

Right, Anne Hathaway films.

Anne Hathaway, Anne Hathaway.. What are the others?

One Day, perhaps? First class, was she in?

These are just positive things

That is A-1. That is popular. Copacetic.

That's first class.

Try those three then Havoc, maybe?

Those three? Yeah. And that one? Yeah. Sure?

That's it. You've solved the Wall. Four points for the groups.

Let's look for the connections

T20 - or T-two-zero - French, Test and Kwik.

All types of cricket.

Silver, Topper, Trigger, Champion.

These are all horses from films or TV series, I think.

That's it. Cowboy companions, wonder horses, selection of equines.

Havoc, Les Miserables, Bride Wars, One Day.

Anne Hathaway films. They are films featuring Anne Hathaway.

They COULD all be racehorse names!

Bride Wars would be a great name for a racehorse!

First class, A-1, Copacetic, Boffo.

We think they're just positive ways of describing...

Best quality, best in show or whatever.

The... That'll do. Words meaning excellent.

All words denoting excellence.

You got four points for finding the groups,

four for the connections, a bonus two for getting it all right.

That is the maximum of ten - a leap forward on the old racehorse.

Time to bring back the Science Editors, see if they can edit 1 new clues into four neat groups of four.

You will have the Water Wall because Lion's been taken.

You have two and a half minutes to solve it, starting now...

Feathers McGraw, he's the bad guy in Wallace and Gromit.

Wallace and Gromit characters Wallace will be the red herring.

Or possibly even Gromit. Shaun the sheep.

What's others? Bolt and Burrell are sprinters

Powell, Bolt, Burrell... Anyone else?

Peggy Guggenheim... Carl Lewis. Let's try sprinters

There might be others.

Oh, Bailey's a sprinter as well

What were the other two? Burrell and Bolt.

Bolt might be the obvious one. There's a few to leave out.

Greene - Graham Greene. Are there any more authors there?

I don't know. Not that I can see. Heat's a movie.

Heat, Shot, Bolt... Shot and Bolt are something from a rifle.

Frick... Frick's a swear word that isn't, basically.

ANDREW: I like the way you're saying that. Shot as well.

Do that anyway. It might be right.

Shall we try and get the...? Yeah, try those.

So Wallace is there.

So what have we got? Colin Powell. William Burrell?

No, I'm thinking of someone else.

Dead reckoning and dead heat. ANDREW: Dead shot.

Dead bolt? Well done. Three strikes and you're out now.

We should have left that one and played around with that.

What have we got for the sprinters now?

Burrell, Powell, Lewis, Bailey We tried that.

I don't remember. Shall we put three in and see what we've got left

Wallace museum, Guggenheim, Frick probably.

Then it's going to be... Did we do that?

I'm not sure if we did. Let's try.

Shall we try Lewis as the museum and put Greene in? Yes.

No, we've just got one more. The Bailey Collection?

There's a Wallace Collection and a Guggenheim Museum.

Two more collections.

Lewis, Bailey, shall we try? We don't know who Frick is, do we?

Not it, I'm afraid. You found two groups. I'll give you two points if you tell me the connections

Feathers McGraw, Wendolene, Gromit, Shaun.

They're characters from Wallace and Gromit.

Bolt, Reckoning, Shot, Heat.

You can put "dead" in front of all of them. Yes, you can.

More points available for the connections in the groups you couldn't find.

Burrell, Wallace, Peggy Guggenheim, Frick.

We're going to say they all have museums named after them?

Or collections.

They're art galleries, but have collections named after them.

Didn't know the Burrell Collection in Glasgow? No. The last group.

Powell, Lewis, Greene and Bailey.

Do we think they're sprinters? I think so. Sprinters.

I'll take sprinters. There's something else as well

They all won the 100 metres, some kind of thing.

They've all been world record holders at the 100 metres.

Leroy Burrell foxed you for a while, but that was the art collection

You found two groups and you got four points for the connections That's a total of six.

Let's see what that does to the scores going into the final round...

You can play Connecting Walls on our website,

where you can also write your own.

We are going to decide who goes home and who stays with Round Four, the missing vowels round.

Fingers on buzzers, teams.

The first group of disguised clues are all...

BELL Washing-up liquid.

BELL Scouring powder.

BUZZER Sugar soap.

BELL Bleach

Next category...

BELL Glaucoma.

BUZZER Astigmatism.

BELL Hypermyotropia.

I'm afraid that's not it. You lose a point. Press Gang?

Hypermotropia. That's not quite right, either

Hypermetropia. There's no Y there and no O. Hypermetropia.

BELL Colour blindness.

Next category...

BELL Friends...

That's not it. You lose a point Press Gang? Frasier and Seattle

BELL Two And A Half Men, Baltimore. .

That's not it. Press Gang, do you know?

Too long, I'm afraid...

BUZZER Happy Days and Milwaukee.

BELL Seinfeld and New York City.

Next category... END-OF-ROUND JINGLE

But there will be no next category

because it's the end of the quiz and I can tell you

that the Press Gang have 17,

the Science Editors have... Why? What's this?

17 points. It's a tie-break!

In a tie-break situation, there will be one single missing vowels clue.

And it's for captains only. It's sudden death, captains.

If you buzz in with the right answer, you're through to the next round.

If you buzz in with the wrong answer, you're out of the quiz

Your opponents win by default, so be careful.

I'm not going to tell you the category.

Fingers on buzzers, captains. Here's your clue.

BELL Slow and steady wins the race.

That is the right answer!

With that quick noticing of "slow and steady wins the race"

Science Editors, you are through to the next round. Very well done.

Press Gang, how horribly unlucky. That is as close as you can get

You've done some brilliant quizzing, but by one point, you're going home.

Thank you very much for coming

That was very stressful. I'm quite tense, but join us next time, anyway,

for more questions that are tougher than ones a footballer's girlfriend asks after his stag night.

Goodbye.

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