Special: Eggheads vs Davids Only Connect

Hello and welcome to a special episode of Only Connect.

On one side, an all-star team

of former champion captains all called David.

They were match-made as part of a grand plan to pit them against

three brilliant quizzers all called Goliath but, after literally minutes

of research, the production team gave up and invited the Eggheads.

Nevertheless, I would like to stress that despite on team being

from a rival quiz, I will, as always, be completely impartial.

So, let's meet the team that's going to get scrambled.

Welcome, on my right, Pat Gibson,

three times world quizzing champion and Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

winner, who joined the Eggheads team after winning

the second Are You An Egghead? tournament.

Barry Simmons, a former IT manager and Brain Of Britain finalist,

who joined the Eggheads team after winning the first Are You An Egghead? tournament.

And their captain, Chris Hughes, a former railway worker,

Mastermind and Brain Of Britain champion, who's been

a member of the Eggheads team since their first appearance in 2003.

They are all professional quizzers. They are the Eggheads.

So, Chris, you are known as the standard to beat in quizzing circles.

What do you think of your chances on Only Connect?

Well, they're a good team, but I think our answers will carry more weight.

Does that mean you think you're not going to win,

-but you're already planning to claim moral victory?

-Yes.

Good luck with that.

You will be facing, on my left, David Bill, a former bookie

and captain of series three winners the Gamblers, who has defeated

the Insurers, the Bowlers, the Archers Admirers and the Strategists.

David Lea, a political

and security risk analyst who captained series five winners,

the Analysts, beating the Editors, the Technologists,

the Trade Unionists and the Antiquarians.

And their captain, David Stainer.

A tax lawyer and captain of the greatest team in Only Connect

history, the mighty Crossworders,

who laid waste to the Birkbeck Alumni,

the Edinburgh Scrabblers, the Science Writers,

the Lapsed Psychologists, the Rugby Boys, the Epicureans,

the University Challengers and the Masterminders.

These people are among the greatest quiz players in Britain.

Together, they make up the Davids,

potentially the most formidable quiz team in the country.

The question is, can they be beaten?

So, David, can you be beaten?

I would have thought we probably could be beaten,

but we'll try our hardest to make sure we're not.

You've got new people on either side of you tonight,

not the full Crossworders.

I'm assuming you've seen these rival quizzers moving to championhood

in their own scenes. What do you think of playing with them?

I'm very excited at the prospect.

I think we'll be a good team together.

And we're all called David, importantly.

I've never liked the name.

Let battle commence with, as you can probably all guess, Round One.

If you can't, you're in the wrong place.

I will simply be asking what's the connection between four

apparently random clues. Eggheads, you won the toss.

You'll go first. Welcome, we're very delighted to see you here.

Please choose an Egyptian hieroglyph.

-Twisted flax, please, Victoria.

-The twisted flax.

Your first clue of the Only Connect special is coming up now.

-Jurors three. There was 12 angry men. That doesn't help.

-Nine.

-Move on.

-Number nine. Next, please.

-There are four petals on a remembrance poppy.

-Yes.

That's nine, then it goes down to two.

I can't think of any number sequences.

-Next one, please.

-10 seconds.

-Premier league teams plus eight.

-Is it 20 teams in the Premier League?

-Yes.

-Three seconds.

BUZZER

-What are we saying?

-You must give me your answer. You've buzzed in.

-No, we just don't have a clue.

-Fair enough.

In that case, I'm going to show the fourth clue to the Davids,

for a possible bonus.

Things that are different between England and Scotland.

That's absolutely right.

The maths to make the difference between Scotland and England.

England has three fewer jurors, two fewer petals on a remembrance poppy,

eight more Premier League teams and five fewer kings called James.

So bonus point for you, David. You may now choose your own hieroglyph.

-Horned viper, please.

-The horned viper. What's the connection here?

Time starts now.

-Will we go next?

-Yes. Next, please.

-I don't know, shall we go next?

-It's going to be something...

Might be, actually. Next, please.

Author of the Sasser worm. That's a virus.

Who the author is, I don't know. Shall we see next?

Next, please.

-Did they all... no.

-10 seconds.

My word.

-Have they all written fiction?

-No idea.

-Two seconds.

No, you're out of time.

-So there's a bonus chance you, now, Eggheads.

-Mother of... no?

-No.

I don't think you know it.

The answer is they all attracted bounties.

The coypu, sort of vermin in Louisiana,

and Saddam Hussein, there were bounties for killing them.

Enlistees in the American Civil War,

they got a bounty for joining up and the author of the Sasser worm,

sort of malware program, was caught as part of Microsoft-funded

initiative to offer bounties for that sort of thing.

So no points there. Eggheads, you may now choose your own question.

-Water? OK. Water, please.

-Water.

OK. What is the connection here?

Time starts now.

Painting, but that's all.

That's all. Nothing other than that.

Next, please.

Long grass with butterflies.

Were they all at the same exhibition?

-Surrealist or postimpressionist.

-That's all... Next, please.

10 seconds.

-Were these all paintings that caused controversy?

-Three seconds.

-See the last one.

-You're out of time.

I'm going to show the fourth clue to the Davids.

Hung mistakenly in some general way.

I mean, Le Bateau was hung upside down.

-Maybe the rest were displayed incorrectly.

-I'll take it.

Three of them were hung upside down.

The Rothko was actually hung horizontally

instead of vertically, but it is sort of upside down.

So all artworks hung incorrectly for the bonus point.

-And you may now choose your own question.

-We'll go for lion.

Lion. These are going to be picture clues. What's the connection?

Here's the first one.

B*Witched, isn't it? Star...

Shall we go one more? Next.

That's a Q...

I don't know, to be honest. Do you think we ought to go for another?

-Yes, I think we should.

-Next, please.

Macy's.

Have they got some non-standard... Macy's has no apostrophe.

-It's got one on that, though.

-Oh, yeah. Good point.

-10 seconds.

-Next, please.

-MASH.

-Oh, they've just got asterisks, maybe. Macy's has got...

-Three seconds.

-BUZZER

Asterisks form some part of the name of them. B*Witched, the band.

-M*A*S*H has asterisks between letters.

-That's absolutely right.

The second one is a computer game Q*Bert which is Q-asterisk-Bert.

Macy's, it's a star, an asterisk,

instead of the apostrophe because the founder had a star tattoo as a teenager.

M*A*S*H, of course, it's in between the letters.

So asterisks in the name, well done. Eggheads, which would you like next?

-Eye of Horus, please.

-Your first clue is coming up now.

Might have got to the moon.

-Yes. Nothing else there.

-Three people on it.

-Next, please.

Pan Am flight 214. Ah.

A field in Pennsylvania. Could be.

-Let's move on. Next.

-Next, please.

Lee Trevino's one of the super...

-10 seconds.

-Next, please.

Struck by lightning.

-All been struck by lightning.

-They have been struck by lightning.

Yes, Lee Trevino, the golfer, survived a lightning strike in 1975.

Always the risk, isn't it, of people who go out to play golf,

that they might come back alive.

So you're off the blocks, Eggheads, with a point

and back to the Davids for the final question, two reeds.

And I suspect it will be the music question,

because we haven't had that yet. So indeed it is.

You'll be hearing the clues. First one coming in now.

'Darling, I said what's for tea?'

MARCHING BAND MUSIC

Next, please.

BOUNCY BRASS MUSIC

-No idea what that is.

-Next, please.

# Pump it up a little more

# Get the party going on the dancefloor. #

Pump Up The Jam, isn't it?

Things with a spread... Next, please.

# Gitchi gitchi ya ya da da... #

Lady Marmalade.

Preserves. We have Pump Up The Jam by Technotronic featuring... Felly?

-Yes.

-And Lady Marmalade by...

-I'm afraid preserves is not the answer.

So there is a possible bonus for you, Eggheads.

Spreads.

That's not it either. Now, had you

recognised the second one,

you would have thought the same.

It's A Taste Of Honey.

But the first one,

The Who's Heinz Baked Beans.

So, not preserves or spreads.

-Things you have on toast.

-Exactly.

Baked beans, as much as I would

love them to be a preserve, are not.

At the end of Round One, then,

the Eggheads have got one point,

but the Davids are ahead with three.

Round Two, the sequences round.

Davids, I know you're familiar with this but, Eggheads, I'll remind you.

There are still four clues, but you may not see the fourth.

I want to know what it is. You will be able to choose first again.

Which would you like?

-Horned Viper.

-Horned Viper, yeah, we've not had it yet.

-Horned Viper.

What is the fourth in the sequence here? First one coming up now.

-It's Barack Obama.

-His mother was Ann Dunelm or Stanley Ann Dunelm.

-Go on.

-Go with it?

-Let's go on.

BELL

No, sorry, shouldn't have buzzed.

I'm afraid you buzzed. I need an answer.

Barack Obama.

That is very, very far from the correct answer, I'm afraid.

So I'm going to show

the next two clues to the Davids.

THEY CONFER

I need an answer, please.

-Rowan Cantab, you think?

-Williams Cantab.

Williams Cantab.

Have another go.

I don't know. Is Cantab right?

That's Cambridge, isn't it? I don't know what it is.

No, I'm afraid I'm not going to give it to you

and you're very close again.

These are the signatures

of the church of England Bishops

going up to the most senior.

They are Justin Dunelm,

that's Durham,

Richard Londin, London,

Sentamu Ebor, York

and the Archbishop of Canterbury

would sign his name Rowan Cantuar.

You simply don't get enough letters

from him to get it exactly correct.

Davids, you may have your question.

-Water, I think.

-Water.

The first in a sequence coming up.

What is the fourth? Time starts now.

Shall we go next? It's probably French Revolution. Next, please.

Good grief.

Do you think there are four in a series of paintings

-or something like that?

-Could be.

-Next, please.

10 seconds.

-La Revolution de 1789?

-Three seconds.

BELL

Le Revolution de 1789.

That is not the right answer,

I'm afraid. Do you want to

have a go, Eggheads, for a bonus?

Battle of Waterloo, 1815.

Closer, but still not correct,

I'm afraid. It is La Paix de 1815.

This is a hideous question.

They are the sculptures

on the Arc de Triomphe

in chronological order of their title.

So, 1815 is the right date,

but the sculpture is La Paix de 1815.

No points again, but good stabs.

Eggheads, which would you like next?

-Eye of Horus, please.

-Eye of Horus

OK, what is the fourth

in this sequence? Here's the first.

666.

So, could they all be 666?

-Shall we see the next one?

-Yeah, next one, please.

-Is that 666? I don't know.

-No, we'd better go again.

-Go again.

Next one, please.

It must be 666.

10 seconds.

-Remember, it's a sequence.

-BELL

-What else is 666?

-Oh, gosh, yes.

The number of the beast.

I'm afraid that's not the answer.

Davids, would you like to have a go?

Yeah, we think it's the emergency number. It's referring to 999.

666, 777, 888 and 999.

Emergency services. Exactly the example we had ourselves.

Of course, if they were all 666

it wouldn't be a sequence.

999, or something pertaining to it, we needed for the fourth clue.

Well done, Davids, for the bonus.

Which question would you like?

Twisted Flax, please.

Twisted Flax. The first in a sequence coming up now.

What year was that? 2002? Shall we go next?

Next, please,

I think public enquiries.

Are they protests or public things in London?

Next, please.

Public enquiries.

Would they have had one into the death of the Queen Mother?

-You never know.

-10 seconds.

Levenson?

-I just can't...

-Three seconds.

BELL

The Royal wedding.

That is not the right answer.

Do you want to have a go,

Eggheads, for a bonus?

No, we haven't got anything on this one.

The answer is

rioting in London and other cities.

And the connection is

it is four occasions in order when Parliament was recalled.

Recalled for the death of the Queen Mother

and the problem with Iraq and weapons of mass destruction,

confidence in the media and police in 2011

and again later that year because of the riots.

Last chance for a question

of your own in this round, Eggheads

-What's it to be?

-Lion.

Lion. What is the last in this sequence? Here's the first.

-Eight equals copper plus tin.

-That's brass.

-Eight is brass.

If eight is brass...

Is it Scrabble scorers?

Do you get eight for brass?

-No. Three, four, five, six, seven, no.

-Next, please.

Nine is copper.

Eight is brass, nine is copper.

Oh, are they wedding anniversaries? Eight, nine, 10, 11.

-10 seconds.

-Eleven is steel, isn't it?

BELL

11, Fe, Steel.

Have one more go.

Well, there's carbon in steel so 11 = Fe + C.

There you go. These are wedding anniversaries in chemical symbols.

So, the eighth anniversary, bronze, a copper/tin alloy.

Ninth, copper itself.

10th, tin. 11th anniversary,

which is steel and iron.

I think, in America,

they have an iron anniversary

of some kind so I wanted to hear about the trace of carbon

that makes it steel. Very well done.

And there's one question

remaining for you now, Davids.

It's the Two Reeds. What's the fourth in this sequence?

They're going to be picture clues. Here's the first.

-Some kind of flower. Shall we go next?

-Yeah.

-Next.

-Is it a canary?

-I have no idea.

-Shall we go next?

-Yeah.

-Next, please.

That's the Canary Islands, isn't it?

So...

Norwich City, I don't know.

-It's a sequence, isn't it?

-Yeah, I just...

10 seconds.

Three seconds.

BELL

A Norwich City shirt.

I'm going to come back to you later

to find out why you said that,

but it is not the answer.

Possible bonus, Eggheads.

There is a canary wine that's mentioned in Twelfth Night.

A bottle of canary wine?

It is not. It is a dog.

But before we discuss why, Davids,

why were you saying Norwich City?

We'd identified the Canary Islands, we thought the bird might be

a canary so we appreciated that didn't have much

of a sequential element to it but I think we were plucking at straws.

I think I can see why it's dogs, I think.

Each one has inspired the name of the thing before it.

That is exactly what it is.

The canary creeper plant,

named after the canary bird

because of the colour.

Canary bird intrinsic to the Canary Islands and Canary Islands,

so-called according to Pliny the Elder

because they were full of dogs. Canis, of course, Latin for dog.

So, at the end of Round Two, then, the Eggheads have improved

to four points, the Davids also have four points.

Time for the Connecting Wall -

the 16 jumbled up clues that need sorting into four groups of four.

Now, there's nothing I love more than multimedia

and the gradual encroachment of the Internet over television

so I'm delighted to say you can play along at the same time

on your computer. You don't even have to look at the screen.

Davids, you will be going first this time and you have a choice.

Lion or Water?

-Water?

-Take your pick.

-Water.

Water it is. You have, of course, two and a half minutes to solve it.

Starting now.

John Travolta. Scientology. Scientologists.

-Kirstie Alley.

-Hubbard.

Katie Holmes. Leave Alley out.

Right, so who have we left out?

Cruise and Alley we've left out.

Right, OK.

Remote control, quality control,

damage control, cruise control.

Birth as well. We've left birth out.

We'll leave cruise out again.

Leave damage out.

Just three attempts now.

Caraway is a seed, isn't it?

Patch Adams. Jay Gatsby.

Benjamin Button.

Is it something about

the shape of the words?

You're about halfway through the time.

Caraway seed.

Unforgettable, unbutton...

-Brain damage.

-Damage limitation.

Damage is a film, isn't it?

I wonder whether we ought to try

damage, Gatsby...

Gatsby must be something

to do with the great Gatsby.

None of them are the great,

aren't they? He was Jay Gatsby.

Do any of them have

letters preceded them? No.

Shall we go Gatsby, damage,

forgettable, committee?

They're more evolved words, aren't they?

Shall we go those three and caraway?

I was thinking Patch for Patch Adams

but, yeah, it's...

That's it with 10 seconds to go.

You solved the wall. Well done. Let's see about the connections.

Travolta, Alley, Hubbard, Holmes.

Famous Scientologists.

John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, Katie Holmes

and the founder, L Ron Hubbard. Advocates of Scientology.

Cruise, remote, quality, birth.

Things that can be preceded by...

No, sorry, followed by the word control.

That's right. You can put control after all.

Button, Diver, Patch, Gatsby.

I was hoping you knew this, Dave.

Sadly not.

Surnames of characters in...

..novels by Fitzgerald?

That's the answer. They are characters from F Scott Fitzgerald.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is a Fitzgerald story.

Dick Diver from Tender Is The Night.

The Patches from The Beautiful And The Damned

and Jay Gatsby, The Great Gatsby.

They are Scott Fitzgerald characters.

You stumbled your way there at the last minute.

The last group - damage, forgettable, caraway, committee.

Do they all began with three-letter words?

Dam, for, car, com? No, com isn't even a three-letter word.

They can all be split to make two words.

I'm afraid you've given an answer which I can't accept, but

I think one of the Davids is muttering the right answer too late.

You split them. Dam, age. Forget, table. Car, away. Commit, tee.

They are two words put together to make another one. But just too late.

Nevertheless, four points for the groups you found. Three connections.

That's a total of seven.

Time to bring back the Eggheads who, of course,

have never played a Connecting Wall before.

They'll get a different wall, but it is very tough. How will they fare?

Eggheads, good luck with your first attempt at the wall.

You're going to get the Lion wall.

You've got two and a half minutes to find the four groups. Starting now.

Saffron is a herb. Any more herbs?

Lemmy, Bono... Single word. Skin.

No.

Pro Tempore, Pro Forma.

Pro Bono.

Pro Rata.

Wasp could be a rugby player.

Harlequin, Saracen. Saints.

-So are Sharks.

-Work through those.

Now you do all this.

Three strikes and you're out now.

Be careful how you press.

Skin is certainly a musician.

Lemmy is from Motorhead.

Fish is from Marillion.

What about Saffron, Rock, Trapper

and Maniac? What would they be?

It's not a vegetable.

No, it's maniac, not manioc.

About halfway through the time.

No words in the middle of them.

Nothing we can work out from vowels

or anything strange like that.

Kleptomaniac, pyromaniac.

No, nothing like that.

Saffron is a flower.

It's expensive. Most expensive.

-Saffron rice. Does that help us?

-No.

Rock groups? We'd better try

the rock groups and get that.

On you go.

Who's our last one?

That's it, you've solved the wall.

Very well done.

That's four immediate points. Bonus points are available

for the connections.

Bono, rata, forma, tempore.

They all start with pro. Pro Bono, pro rata, pro forma, pro tempore.

That's it. You can put pro before them all.

Harlequin, Wasp, Saint, Saracen.

All rugby clubs.

Rugby union clubs. Exactly right.

Saffron, Lemmy, Fish, Skin.

They are all single word pseudonyms for musicians.

That's right. They're singers.

It's Saffron from Republica, Lemmy from Motorhead,

Fish from Marillion and Skin from Skunk Anansie.

Single word musicians or singers.

And the last one. Rock, trapper, shark, maniac.

Blue shark? No.

Drawing a blank? I will tell you. They are all styles of poker player.

Well, you'd know that.

A rock would be a tight player. Trapper, it's obvious.

Shark, one to avoid. Maniac, super-raiser.

They are types of poker player.

So, four points for the groups. Three for the connections.

That is a total of seven.

Let's see how that leaves the scores as we enter the final round.

The Eggheads have 11 points. The Davids also have 11 points.

So, it will all be decided by missing vowels.

Going into Round Four, just to make me feel more comfortable,

someone has crept in and left these lovely framed pictures

of Dermot Murnaghan and Jeremy Vine.

Just like I've got in my bedroom at home. So that's nice for me.

For you, I'd like to see fingers on buzzers, teams.

The first category are all...

Don't know this one?

It's In vitro fertilisation for IVF.

Next clue.

-BELL

-Davids.

Leg before wicket.

LBW. Correct.

-BELL

-Davids.

Central Intelligence Agency.

CIA. correct.

-BELL

-Davids.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum.

For QED. Correct.

Next category...

-BELL

-Davids.

The Republic.

Correct.

-BELL

-Davids.

Tess Of The D'Urbervilles.

I'm afraid you lose a point.

Possible bonus, Eggheads.

Too long.

It's Eats Shoots And Leaves

by Lynne Truss. Next clue.

-BELL

-Davids.

Leviathan.

Correct, by Hobbes.

-BELL

-Davids.

The Female Eunuch.

Germaine Greer. That's correct.

Next category...

-BELL

-Davids.

Enfant Terrible.

Correct.

-BELL

-Eggheads.

Coup de grace.

Correct.

-BELL

-Eggheads.

Raison d'etre.

Correct.

-BELL

-Eggheads.

Je ne sais quoi.

Correct. Next category...

-BELL

-Eggheads.

Grandfather bassoon.

I'm afraid you actually lose a point

as it's grandfather AND bassoon.

The N and the D are there,

but it was too late to throw it over.

Looking at the scores, the Eggheads have got 13 points,

but the Davids are the winners with 17. Very good quizzing.

Well done, you. But , Eggheads, an extremely creditable performance.

Thank you so much for coming. It was lovely to meet you all.

Thank you for joining us and, before we go,

I do just want to clarify, at the beginning, I was joking.

Impartiality is very important at the BBC.

I am, of course, completely neutral, all the answers are

independently verified and nobody speaks to the question setters.

Or socialises with them in any way. Goodbye.

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