Wall Night 1 - Part 1 Only Connect

Hello and welcome to Only Connect Wall Night.

Two shows on the same night.

Eight teams from previous series have been

invited back for a special tournament.

They will play connecting walls only.

Imagine Countdown with just the numbers game - terrible.

They get two minutes to solve each wall, and in the event of a tie,

the time it took them to get the first group

will be taken into account.

You can play along at home. Let's meet our first returning team.

Is it a laugh a minute at the Northern Ireland Court Service?

I wouldn't go that far.

I don't think the judges would appreciate laughing in the courts.

-Courtiers.

-Tae Kwon-Do.

-One point. I thought you guys might know her.

-She is the first black woman to be a UK High Court judge.

-Well...

-Yes!

Lovely to see you again. It's Wall time.

Would you like Lion or Water?

Water, please.

OK, now in this special, you've only got two minutes to solve it.

Good luck. Time starts now.

-OK.

-Hobby, falcon.

-Let's go for it.

-Kestrel.

Right, we'll go for pommel horse, rocking horse,

-Trojan horse, clothes horse.

-Excellent.

Buckminster Fuller... Deadly nightshade. Key grip.

-Key falcon... Falcon was a...

-Got to be a bird somewhere.

Kestrel.

What about the fuller? What is ricasso? Tang?

-Deadly nightshade, tang...

-I've done this wrong. There we go.

Ah, well done.

Right, Vogue is a magazine. It's also a song by Madonna.

-Deadly nightshade.

-Benny And The Jets is a song.

Falcon was a detective with George Sanders.

Remember it's three strikes and you're out.

-Yeah.

-We need to be careful, then.

Deadly nightshade. Is tang Chinese?

-A tang is like a taste.

-You've got a minute left.

-I don't know what ricasso is.

-Buckminster Fuller.

Fuller. Is it some...

I was going to say Ferris Bueller.

Key jet, key grip. I think we need to start.. Grip, jet...

Maybe we shouldn't guess.

Jet black, falcon black, vogue black?

-Tang black. Deadly nightshade, deadly ricasso.

-Maltese Falcon?

Vogue. I think we need to start having a go here.

-We could pick that.

-30 seconds.

-Deadly nightshade. Tang...

Fuller? No. Jet, vogue and falcon.

-Go for it.

-One less.

-Grip as in movie terms.

-Yes.

-Ten seconds.

-Um...

-She's won.

-Five seconds.

-No.

-That's it. You lives are up.

You've solved two groups and you can get more points if you tell me

the connection between them.

-Pommel, Trojan, rocking, clothes.

-Horses.

Inanimate horses, that's right.

Merlin, hobby, peregrine, kestrel.

-Birds. Do you need more?

-Birds of prey.

-Any more specific?

-Falcons.

They are types of falcon.

You can still get bonus points for the other connections.

Let's solve the wall. There's the group.

Grip, ricasso, fuller and tang.

Some sort of gangs or something?

It's not. I'm glad you haven't seen much of this in court.

They are parts of a sword.

And the last one - Falcon, Jet, Vogue and Nightshade.

Mark?

-Comic characters?

-I can't give it to you, I'm afraid.

They are female Gladiators from the Gladiators series.

You did find two groups. You got two connections.

Time to meet your opponents.

We're now bringing back some more old favourites - the Knitters.

That's a lovely top, Esther. Homemade creation?

-We don't say homemade, we say artisan created!

-Right.

-Is it Gordon?

-Why would it be Gordon?

-It's because he was in Thunderbird 4.

I'm a long way out of my comfort zone.

These are all nicknames of things to be found in prison. Old nicknames.

That sprang quickly to mind. Yes, they are. Screw, grass, snout, lag.

Welcome back, Knitters.

The wall names have changed since you were here last.

It's now Lion and Water, and you get Lion.

Two minutes to solve it starting now.

-Types of meat - bresaola, speck.

-Charqui, shall we put?

-Yeah, good work.

-Scintilla and iota are both small measurements.

A crumb of something. An atom? No, a mite of something.

-Oh, sorry, wrong one.

-Take Parliament away.

-Atom, try atom.

-Atom, mite and iota.

What haven't we done? That one?

Still three strikes and you're out.

That's a channel, that's a channel,

that's a channel and that's a channel.

-You've solved the wall.

-Go, Knitters!

That's four points. Let's look for the connection bonuses.

First group - bresaola, charqui,

speck and biltong.

-Types of cured meat.

-Types of dried meat, exactly.

So, next group - crumb, scintilla, atom, mite.

-Teeny weeny things.

-Words for small things.

Parliament, News, Alba, Four.

TV channels. BBC TV channels.

And the last of them is the best. They are BBC channels.

And the last one - iota, sqrt(-1), one and interlaced video.

-They're all ones.

-I was thinking that.

-They're the same amount?

-One?

No. They can all be represented by a lower case i.

But you found four groups

and you got three bonus points.

That gives you a total at seven.

Let's have a look at what that does to the scores.

The Courtiers scored four, but the Knitters got seven.

I'm afraid it's another goodbye to you, Courtiers.

Lovely to see you here again.

Knitters, we'll see you again later in our semifinal.

The next heat is between the Choir Boys and the Editors.

Let's remind ourselves of the Choir Boys.

Our music is crossover,

which isn't the way we dress as some people think.

-Monster Raving Loony.

-Yes, it is. One point.

Running the gauntlet is when you run between two lines of people,

and they throw things at you.

That's something that you thought happened in Scottish dancing?!

It is a delight to see you again, Choir Boys.

-Would you like Lion or Water?

-Lion, please.

OK, you've got two minutes to solve it starting now.

-Vonnegut Kurt, Waldheim, Kurt Russell, Kurt Weil.

-Brilliant.

-Cobain.

-Huntingdon and St Neots are both in Cambridgeshire.

-King's Lynn is in East Anglia as well.

-And Ely. We've got four.

One, two, three, four. Kurt Cobain, have you got him?

Cobain, Waldheim, Vonnegut, Weil.

Russell, Vonnegut, Waldheim and Cobain.

No.

Weil, Vonnegut, Cobain, Russell.

It's not going well. Peter, you do yours.

I was looking for Bedford, King's Lynn, Huntingdon, St Neots.

Try different combinations.

He's a mathematician, he's a mathematician.

-Kurt Weil was...

-Huntingdon's disease, Crohn's disease.

Well done, you. Godel, let's try.

No.

-Huntingdon, Weil.

-Kurt Waldheim, Kurt Weil.

St Neots disease, shall we try that?

Try again. Weil, Crohn, Huntingdon.

-OK. Cathedrals.

-Kurts, anybody?

-We're trying the Kurts.

-1994.

-Bedford maybe. It's impossible.

-30 seconds.

I don't know who that is, do you? Lou Gehrig. Have you tried Gehrig?

We're not getting there.

Godel, heard of him?

We got them there. There's one. St Neots, Bedford, Ely and somewhere.

-Huntingdon?

-Five seconds.

-Did we get those? OK.

-Yes.

-Good.

And the time is up.

Just in the nick of time, you got two groups.

Bonus points if you can tell me the connections.

Vonnegut, Godel, Waldheim, Cobain.

-All Kurts.

-They are the Kurts.

You struggled with Godel, the Austrian mathematician.

Next group - Ely, Bedford, King's Lynn, St Neots.

Bedford isn't in East Anglia, the other three are.

I'm a bit stumped. Are they all cathedral cities?

I'm afraid you're not going to get it.

They are settlements on the Ouse River.

You can still get bonus points

for the groups you didn't find, so let's resolve the wall.

What about this one? 1994, Russell, N8, Million+.

Economic systems is all I can think of.

I can tell you don't know it.

They are university consortia -

groups of universities who collaborate on research.

And the last group -

Crohn, Weil, Huntingdon, Lou Gehrig.

-Diseases.

-Or conditions.

They are the diseases.

Lou Gehrig was an American baseball player

who suffered from that disease. It was named after him.

But you found two groups - two bonus points. That is a total of four.

Time to say hello again to some familiar faces from quite recently - the Editors.

We cover a wide range of topics from, for example,

chicken-boning machinery to extreme fire-juggling.

Peter?

Soft.

I think my favourite wrong answers along the way so far -

are they all dragons,

and do they all have myxomatosis?

Welcome back, Editors.

You have now got the Water Wall to play.

Two minutes to solve it, starting now.

OK. Mailer, Norman. Normans...

-Baskerville, Garamond - that's fonts.

-Courier.

-It's Courier...

-Courier, Rockwell and Garamond.

BUZZ

No, OK. Georgia, Baskerville, Courier.

Rockwell, Georgia, Baskerville, Garamond.

BUZZ

-Whoops. Georgia, Baskerville, Garamond.

-Courier.

-Courier.

-Yes.

-OK.

-Um.

-Right. Fletcher.

-Futtock.

-Fletcher.

-Catchpole.

-Arkwright.

Catchpole...

-Are they characters played by David Jason?

-Oh!

-Yes.

-He was...

-Norman Fletcher.

-He was...

-It's...

-Porridge.

-It's...it's Ronnie Barker.

Fletcher. Arkwright.

Did he play Catchpole?

Malone. Was he... He was...

BUZZ No.

-Arkwright, Fletcher.

-Maybe Rockwell, now Rockwell's out of fonts.

Rockwell. Catchpole, do you think?

-Futtock sounds like a comedy name, doesn't it?

-Futtock.

-You've got a minute.

-Yes.

BUZZ

There was Piggy Malone. It was Piggy. The Two Ronnies.

Piggy Malone. OK. Arkwright, Fletcher. So there's another one...

Cook? No.

BUZZ

-No. All right.

-Hang on.

-Stay with us.

-Let's...

HMRC - what can that be?

-Customs.

-Exactly.

-St Matthew wasn't a tax collector, was he?

-Tax collector.

-Tax, tax...

Publican. These are Jesus's Disciples. Are they?

-No, they're not tax collectors.

-How about...

Norman Wisdom? Norman...

-Oh, Norman Mailer.

-Norman Mailer.

-Norman Cook is Thingy.

-Yes, is Fletcher.

-Fletcher.

-Norman Fletcher?

BUZZ

-No.

-No.

-Wisdom, Cook, Mailer.

BUZZ

Ten seconds.

Have we given up on the characters?

-Yes, try the characters.

-Which?

-Five seconds.

-Go Normans.

-Which...

Another one...

And your time is up. The wall has frozen. So, you found one group.

Can you tell me the connection?

-They are typefaces.

-It's a good job we got that one.

Well-known types of font.

You can get bonus points,

so let's resolve the wall.

How about this one? HMRC, Catchpole, Publican, St Matthew?

-I think tax collectors.

-They are. St Matthew was a tax collector.

Catchpole, an old word for a tax collector.

Publican from Roman history.

Well done. Next group.

Malone, Futtock, Fletcher, Arkwright.

-Parts played by...

-Ronnie Cor...

-Ronnie Barker.

-Barker.

Parts played by Ronnie Barker. You named them, apart from Futtock,

from Futtock's End. And the last one.

Wisdom, Mailer, Rockwell, Cook.

-Normans.

-Normans.

-Famous Normans.

So, you found one group but you got all four points for the connections.

That's a total of five.

Let's have a look at the scores.

The Choir Boys got four points, but the Editors pipped them with five.

So it's goodbye, Choir Boys.

Editors, we will see you again in the semifinal.

Next up, it's the Archers Admirers and the Technologists.

-Admirers?

-Forecastle.

-One point. Admirers?

-Poop deck.

-One point.

-Admirers?

-Anchor.

-One point.

No idea.

I like the fact that you pressed the buzzer

-to tell me you've got no idea.

-Thank you.

-Hello again, Admirers. It's wall time - Lion or Water?

-Water, please.

You've got two minutes to solve it, starting...now.

Zuckerberg...

Puff pastry...

Filo and...short.

-No.

-Any others?

Sweet pastry?

Nope.

Must be choux, surely.

-Yes.

-Right, um...

-Brabant's a car.

Ford's a car. Any others? Is Zuckerberg a car? Does anybody know?

-Wales, Rugby.

-Miss Pistol, Miss Quickly...

Mistress. Oh, no, not Mistress, um...

No.

Orange? I don't know.

Filo?

I don't know what you two are talking about.

Brabant, Ford, Zuckerberg and something... Oh, sorry.

-Brabant, Ford, Zuckerberg and...

-Asturias?

-Oh, Asturias and Orange are royal houses.

-You've got a minute.

Piedmont.

Yes, well done.

Three strikes and you're out, of course.

Mistress Page, Mistress Ford, Mistress Quickly -

-you don't think that's right?

-Um, I think...

-Any ideas?

-Wales, Zuckerberg and...

-We've tried those, haven't we?

I think so.

-Waste one.

-OK.

Wales, Rugby...

-Pistol...

-It's not making any sense, means nothing to me.

Pistol...

It's got to be the Mistresses, hasn't it?

Well, we seem to have exhausted that.

Possibly - there could be Mistress Wales, for all I know.

Or Mistress Zuckerberg.

-Shall we do something?

-Try something.

Who do we think are Mistresses, definitely?

-Um...

-Quickly and Ford?

-Um, yeah.

Ten seconds and one life.

-No.

-No.

That's it, the wall has frozen. You've got two groups,

I can give bonus points for the connections -

choux, sweet, puff, short.

-Pastries.

-Types of pastry.

Brabant, Orange, Piedmont, Asturias?

-Dynasties?

-Dynasties?

I'll take it, they're specifically places in the titles of heirs

to European monarchies.

So the Duke of Brabant, the Duke of Orange,

but they are European royal houses, I will accept that.

And bonus points for the connections

in the groups you didn't find. Resolve the wall.

Pistol, Quickly, Rugby, Ford.

-Must be Shakespearean characters.

-Can't give you long.

-Shakespearean characters?

-You need to be more specific.

-Mistresses?

-Mistresses?

I'm afraid that's not it -

they are characters from The Merry Wives Of Windsor.

Ah, I've not read it.

The last group - Zuckerberg, Filo, Wales, Page.

You get sheets of filo pastry, could it be sheets?

That's not it, they're internet entrepreneurs -

Mark Zuckerberg, David Filo, Jimmy Wales and Larry Page.

You found two groups and connections, that's four points.

Time to bring back some more old favourites to try and beat you.

They are The Technologists.

We're scientists and engineers, we solve complex problems.

Are they the Test match locations?

Do you know, I have absolutely no idea.

JLS, the group who won something or other.

There were four of them, so they've got eight legs.

You see these youngsters, what do they know of popular culture?

Hello again, Technologists, this time you play the Lion Wall.

You've got two minutes starting...now.

Right, yew - trees. Loge, balcony.

-Yup, a stall.

-A stall.

-And a circle.

A circle? What about box? You think box?

-Stall isn't a balcony.

-OK.

An engine, something on an engine.

Yeah, stall something on an engine and... Yeah, good.

Um, T-shirts.

-Privet Drive.

-Too many are theatre things, aren't they?

-It's in Harry Potter, Privet Drive.

-And Hawthorn's a hedge.

-Yew hedge? Box hedge.

-Very good, um... So what about the balconies?

We've got three strikes here.

-We've got three and then four could be circle?

-Or gods.

So we can do both. What's the other one?

Plunge, T-shirt, nursing...home?

Diving plunge? Um...

-Wet nursing.

-Wet T-shirt.

Wet plunge?

-Yeah, wet circle?

-I can't imagine wet T-shirt...

-You've got one minute.

-Um...

-Um, so...

-Try some work on the balcony

and gods, circle, balcony...

and mezzanine.

And then the last one would be?

BUZZ

-Yeah, OK, so circle?

-We've tried most of them without gods.

OK, so add gods this time.

BUZZ

-You take a plunge.

-One more go and 30 seconds.

Nursing... Nursing home, nursing...

Balcony, sea...

Plunge, plunger.

Semi-circle.

Um, T-shirt contest?

Nursing contest...

-Neckline, circle neckline.

-Ten seconds.

-Oh, yes, yes, you're right.

T-shirt neckline, circle, and then mezzanine neckline?

Three seconds.

There you go, the time is up. So you found two groups,

and I will give you bonus points for the connections.

Spin, stall, bird strike, flameout.

Things that can happen to cause a plane to crash.

They are aircraft emergencies, just right. And the next one -

yew, privet, hawthorn, box.

-Hedges.

-They're hedging plants, used to make hedges.

So, you can still get points for the connections you didn't find.

Let's resolve the wall. Loge, circle, gods, mezzanine.

Parts of the theatre or an opera house.

They're seating areas in a theatre. And the last one.

T-shirt, plunge, balcony, nursing.

-They're necklines or top parts of...

-No...?

-Women's clothing.

I can't accept it - you're in the right area almost literally.

They are bras!

This wall was personally set by our brilliant question editor,

Mr Bodycombe, who we'll be meeting later tonight.

He gave a lot of thought to women's bras,

then he got on with the questions. I'm sorry you missed that one.

But you found two groups,

you got three points for the connections, that's a total of five.

Let's have a look at the scores.

So goodbye and thank you, Archers Admirers,

and Technologists, we'll see you in the semifinal.

Next up, it's the Hitchhikers and the Travel Writers.

Let's see the Hitchhikers.

Tom.

Arrgh!

Could we take a guess at rounds?

Brilliant. After just two clues, you get three points.

I like the fact that while you were on that group, you just

shouted "breast" excitedly.

You didn't think it was in the category, you were just

pleased to see it there.

-Welcome back. Arrgh, again.

-Arrgh!

It's wall time - lion or water?

-Lion, please.

-You've got two minutes to solve it, starting now.

OK, um, Hitchens, Dawkins, both famous atheists.

-Are there any others, though?

-Russell, Bertrand Russell.

-And Sikes?

-Oh, there's Oliver Twist characters.

-There we go. Go for it.

-Which is Sikes, Bumble...

I might be stopping there. Oh, Claypole I think was.

-What's the other one?

-Franc?

-Keep trying names.

Bull's-eye is the middle of something.

Bull's-eye is in the middle.

China can be the country or the porcelain.

-Kwanza.

-Kwanza's a celebration, but I don't see any others there.

Are there any other old currencies?

-Franc, Bumb... No, I don't think so.

-No?

-What's Metical?

-I've no idea.

-A cat's-eye is a thing in a road, it was invented...

-Back in the '70s?

-I don't know.

-Bull's-eye in the middle.

-Shall I go back for these?

-Go for it, keep trying. Metical?

BUZZ No.

BUZZ

No.

BUZZ

-May as well try them all.

-You've got one minute.

-What's Dirham?

-There we go.

-There they are.

-Right, so.

-Three strikes and you're out, of course.

-Taw, is that a...river?

-You can have an alley cat.

-Alley cat, China cat?

-No.

-China tea?

-Taw Valley cheese?

Is there any other cheeses? Do we know what Kwanza is?

The celebration's two "A"s, I think - three "A"s.

Are there any word things going on here?

I mean, China, Franc, Alley and Taw make sense in terms of...

-30 seconds.

-In terms of?

-I don't know.

BUZZ

-No, two strikes now.

-What else can a cat's-eye be?

-It's a...

It's something that reflects.

I'm not sure anything else really does that.

-Dirham.

-Just hit something.

-Ten seconds.

BUZZ We've got one try, ten seconds.

-Um, Franc, Cat's-eye, Dirham and Kwanza.

-That's it.

The wall has frozen, but you found two groups,

and I can give you bonus points for the connections.

Rand, Dawkins, Russell, Hitchens.

I'm going to assume famous atheists.

Famous atheists, exactly, Christopher Hitchens at the end.

Next one, Bull's-eye, Bumble, Claypole, Sikes.

-They're all characters in Oliver Twist.

-Characters from Oliver Twist.

There are still connection points available. Let's resolve the wall.

-Cat's-eye, Alley, China, Taw.

-I guess types of reflecting.

-Go for it, things that reflect.

-That's not it.

You see, it was all video games for your generation - they are marbles!

-Oh!

-Marbles, from the children's game. And the last group,

-Frank, Kwanza, Metical, Dirham.

-Currencies that have been replaced?

By the euro?

No.

I just can't accept it,

because they are living currencies, there on the wall.

African currencies.

But you did find two groups and you got two connections,

so that's a total of four.

Let's see what your opponents can do.

I'm going to bring in some more old favourites now -

they are the Travel Writers.

I might be making a fool of myself -

they've both written the same thing, and I've no idea why, porridge.

Remind me about Richard Madeley and porridge.

-They all come back as ghosts.

-Ten seconds.

-They all come back as ghosts.

-BELL

They all come back as ghosts?

Maltese...cross! Cross! Red cross, Victoria Cross, which one?

-Southern Cross.

-Southern Cross.

-Yay!

Welcome back. We have a lovely Water Wall for you.

Two minutes to solve it. Starting now.

OK, um...

Mash, mate.

Mate is someone on a ship.

-Errand boy.

-It's really hard. OK, Knock, Checkout.

-+.

-A film.

-Parsley.

-Parsley's a lion. Knock. House.

Google Earth, Google Chrome?

Um, House, House, MASH... Um...

-Oh, I don't know.

-What, the film?

-TV series, Short Cuts.

-And Nashville.

BUZZ

BUZZ

What about Errand, Short Cuts?

-Short Cuts.

-Paradise Lost. What else can be lost?

-Um... Check-mate?

Check...

You've got a minute.

Peg out... Gold, gold...

Nashville's in Tennessee.

And what's +?

God knows. Um, Errand.

Knock, place in Ireland.

Parsley, parsley, parsley. Is Parsley the name of a character?

Well, Parsley the Lion, but I don't think it's him. Unless it is.

-Checkout?

-30 seconds.

-Check-mate, checkout.

-House-mate.

House-mate...

-Ship's mate.

-No, there isn't. No, no, no.

-Cor, this is hard.

-Chrome.

-Pfft.

Oh, God! No.

-Ten seconds.

-No, no, no.

-Umm, MASH.

-Five seconds.

-Google Images, Google Earth, Google Chrome...

That's it, defeated by the wall.

But connection points are still available, so let's solve it.

-Can you now tell me what connects Earth, +, Checkout, Chrome.

-Google?

Services provided by Google.

Nashville, MASH, Images, Short Cuts.

Aren't they films with Alan Alda in, or something?

I'm afraid not - they are films directed by Robert Altman.

-Oh, God. Of course they are.

-Knock, Peg out, Mate, House.

It's something about, oh, not dying or something?

It's not. They are ways to end games.

You knock in gin rummy, peg out in cribbage,

mate in chess, house in bingo.

And the last one. Gold, parsley, paradise, errand.

Gold, parsley...

-Fool's parsley, fool's paradise?

-Fools.

They can be preceded by "fools". Fool's parsley is a plant.

Well done.

So, on the connections, you've got a total of two points.

Let's have a look at the scores.

So I'm afraid you're off on the road, again, Travel Writers.

Hitchhikers, you'll be the last team joining us in the semifinal.

Join me at ten for the conclusion of the tournament.

We'll be having more fun than anybody's had with a wall

since Ray Mears put up a dartboard with Bear Grylls' face on it.

Goodbye.