Kids' TV Pointless Celebrities

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much, indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and a very warm welcome to this

special children's TV edition of Pointless celebrities.

This is the show where all the questions have been asked to 100 people before the show.

All our celebrities have to do is come up with the answers those 100 people couldn't think of.

Let's meet today's Pointless celebrities.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Sarah Greene,

formerly of Blue Peter, Saturday Superstore

and Going Live!

I'm John Craven,

you've got to be over 30 to remember me on children's television.

LAUGHTER

John Craven's Newsround,

Multi-Coloured Swap Shop,

-Saturday Superstore, together? Didn't we?

-Yes.

-Yeah.

-And Blue Peter.

-And Blue Peter.

-You came to Japan with us.

-I did, yeah.

Yay!

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Richard Holian

and I played Jonny in the '80s TV series

Jonny Briggs.

And I am Sue Devaney.

I played Rita Briggs,

Jonny's very bossy sister

and we were very big in the '80s, weren't we?

Not as big as John and Sarah but we were quite big.

Couple number three.

We are Dick and Dom. I'm Dick, that's Dom.

We are best known for being Dick and Dom.

And, finally, couple number four.

I am Cerrie Burnell, presenter of CBeebies, and children's author,

and this is my friend, Ben, who you might not recognise without his hat.

My name is Ben Faulks, I'm a writer and an actor,

best known for playing Mr Bloom on CBeebies.

Thank you very much to all of you.

A very warm welcome, it's lovely to have you here.

We'll get a chance to chat to you throughout the show

as it goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

I didn't have time to find a new co-host

so here is one I made earlier,

it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya.

-APPLAUSE

-Hi, everybody.

Good evening.

Good evening to you. What a lovely line-up.

I like the fact that everyone at home will be squealing at different

-parts of the podiums as they go along.

-Yeah.

The different ages of children's television.

It should be an absolute cracker.

The first question today is a lovely one.

Really nice, and nice for everybody, I hope.

And also in our head-to-head,

we've got my favourite pointless category title of all time.

You have to get through to the head-to-head to see what it is,

-so a lot of people aren't going to see it.

-I hope I make it!

That would be nice, wouldn't it? That would be nice.

It would be helpful. Thank you very much.

As usual, all of today's questions have been put to 100 people

before the show. Our contestants here are on the lookout for those

all-important pointless answers. These are answers that none of our 100 people found.

Find one of those and we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, as today's show is a celebrity special,

all of our celebrities are playing for a nominated charity.

Therefore, we are going to start off with a jackpot of £2,500.

There we are.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everybody's ready, let's play Pointless.

Now, there's only one thing you have to remember and it is this, the rule of Pointless.

The pair with the highest score at the end of each round

will be eliminated.

Best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category this evening is

Fictional Characters.

Fictional characters. Can you all decide who's going to go first,

who's going to go second and whoever's going first,

please step up to the podium.

OK, and our question concerns...

..alliterative fictional characters.

Alliterative fictional characters, Richard.

Yes, we're about to show you a board of 16 characters,

all of whom have two-word names and both of those names start with the

same letter, alliterative.

Just give us the most obscure answer you can, please.

Thank you very much. As Richard says,

we will put a board up with 16 characters on it.

That will stay up for the whole round,

we won't be changing that halfway through the round.

Shall we have a look at that image?

Here it comes.

There we are.

16 characters, all of whom have alliterative names.

Their first and their second names both begin with the same letter.

John, welcome back to Pointless.

-Well...

-Lovely as ever to have you here.

Newsround, I suppose, was such a huge part of the television landscape.

What was there before Newsround, was there a Newsround?

There was nothing. Just a little gap in the schedules, I think.

-Sort of a crevasse?

-Exactly.

At first, quite a few people thought there was no place for news in

children's television, so we had to win those people over.

And...

What is amazing to me now is that people come up to me in the street,

people who are middle-aged now and say,

"Oh, thank you for getting me interested in the news

-"when I was little."

-Absolutely right. It was brilliant.

It was five minutes long, or something?

Yes, five or six minutes.

Nothing too scary and children actually...

I remember we used to love watching Newsround.

-It's still there today.

-Still there today, same music, pretty much.

-Almost the same music.

-Almost exactly the same, yeah.

Now, John, what about our board of characters here?

I'm not that good on cartoon characters.

Maybe, is the one

at the far end, is that Daffy Duck?

Daffy Duck, let's see if it's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Daffy Duck.

It is right.

65 for Daffy duck.

Not very good, then.

Yeah, Daffy Duck on the second row there on the right.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Sue, welcome to Pointless.

-Hello there.

-It's lovely to have you here.

Now, you left school at 14 to go into acting?

Yes, I did. My first job was with Thora Hird, In Loving Memory.

-Yeah?

-Then I went into Coronation Street when I was 16.

Exactly, so straight out, it worked?

So far, so good.

-Yeah, I'm still doing!

-Acting embraced you.

-I'm still here.

-Fantastic.

I gather you and Richard have just met today for the first time.

Oh, my gosh, I can't believe it. I recognised him.

He walked down the corridor and I recognised those ears.

He's gorgeous but we haven't seen each other for 30 years.

-It's true, isn't it?

-Wow!

-It's been a while.

It's been a while but we became friends again on Facebook so we're

thinking of having a Jonny Briggs reunion at some point, yeah.

How long did Jonny Briggs run for?

We did two series but they showed it every year for the next 15 years.

Was there only two series?

-Yeah.

-Like Fawlty Towers.

-Like Fawlty Towers, yeah.

-There we are.

Goodness! Now, Sue, our alliterative characters.

-OK, I've got to concentrate now.

-Who would you like to go for?

So, I'm going for...

-Betty Boop.

-Betty Boop?

-Yeah.

-OK, let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people went for Betty Boop.

It's right.

65 is our only score at this point.

You've passed that. 55 for Betty Boop.

Very good.

Yeah, good answer, Sue, very well played.

The top left there.

Now, the animator who drew Betty Boop originally drew her as a dog.

I think better as a girl, I think.

-I think.

-I think so. You know what?

She's made up anyway so...

-The point is moot.

-She's what?

She's made up.

Make-up, yes, beautiful, lovely.

-Isn't she?

-No, no, no, I'm just saying she's not a real lady.

-Dom.

-Hello.

Dom, welcome back to Pointless.

-Thank you very much.

-Great to have you back.

Now, before you and Dick worked together, you were a magician.

I was. I still am, really.

-And an escapologist?

-Yeah, I studied escapology,

I studied the great Harry Houdini for years but I did do a lot of work

for The Magic Circle but then I got thrown out of The Magic Circle.

Did you? Right, how?

-Because there was a Saturday morning show that we both did called Dick And Dom In Da Bungalow.

-Yeah.

It was a very naughty show and I was very naughty

and I showed how to do a trick.

-ALEXANDER GASPS

-They didn't like it and I was out.

-What happened, were you summoned into the Circle?

-I actually was.

They actually said, "If you come into The Magic Circle with your producer and apologise,

"we might consider letting you back in." So I said, "No."

Do they ever allow people back in?

They do, yeah. Yeah, you can go back in if you'd like to.

-But you're not fussed?

-I'm a little bit out of practice.

My magic hands don't work as well any more so it's best for the magic

world that I don't.

That's gracious, that is gracious.

I shall say that. Now, Dom,

our alliterative people here.

I'm going to go for, because it is one of my all-time favourite movies,

I'm going to go for Roger Rabbit.

Roger Rabbit, let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people went for Roger Rabbit.

It's right. 65 is our high score.

55 is our low and you've passed both of them. Look at that.

-Down to 37, Dom.

-OK.

-Which is good.

-Roger Rabbit.

-I did all right.

-A good answer.

-Very well played.

Now, Charles Fleischer who provides the voice of Roger Rabbit,

recorded all of his lines in a rabbit suit

because he wanted to be immersed into the character.

He acted alongside Bob Hoskins who thought he was insane.

I think I'm on the Bob side of that.

Really? But you do Danger Mouse dressed in a mouse suit?

No, those are my clothes!

That's why they cast you.

Ah...maybe.

You tend to do all your Danger Mouse stuff with

one leg caught under a big pin and a piece of cheese just out of reach.

That's right, that's me.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. So...

LAUGHTER

Cerrie, welcome to Pointless.

-Lovely to have you here.

-Hello.

You said earlier you are known to countless millions of children for

being a host on CBeebies

but I'd imagine you can't really...

Anywhere you go where children are,

you can't really avoid them just flocking around you.

No, I think it's the same for both of us, actually.

Yeah, once you work for CBeebies, then you are known in every park,

every coffee shop, anywhere there is children and families, that's...

But it's quite special.

I don't know if there's any other area in television where you are

loved quite so much. You are held in huge affection.

The audience are very loyal and incredibly generous

and very supportive

and it has been a really amazing journey, actually.

I've been doing it over seven years now and it's just...

Yes, there's a lot of love and I feel incredibly lucky and grateful.

Wonderful. Now, Cerrie.

-OK, back to this.

-Back to this, back to Pointless.

All right. Erm...

OK, I'm going to go for...

Fred Flintstone.

Fred Flintstone...

-Yeah.

-..says Cerrie. Fred Flintstone.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Fred Flintstone.

Well, 65 is the high...

-Oh!

-Oh!

-I was about to say high score.

-Sorry, Ben.

81! That could have gone either way.

It could have. It could have.

Yeah, it is a big score.

Better than 100 but a big score.

Thank you, Richard. We're halfway through the round,

let's take a look at those scores. 37, very well done, Dom.

Dom and Dick, I think you shall be in Round Two.

Then we go up to 55

where we find Sue and Richard.

65, where we find John and Sarah.

81, Cerrie and Ben. Now, Ben...

-Hi.

-There's a lot in your hands here, you know what you have to do.

We must have a low score from you to see you into the next round

so very good luck with that.

We'll come back down the line now. Can the second players please step up to the podium?

Ben, a very warm welcome to Pointless.

Now, tell me about Mr Bloom,

how did that come about and how did you get it made?

So, it started out as a theatre show that I wrote.

I think I was probably very broody and came up with a show.

Was it Mr Bloom's Nursery at that stage, as well?

No, it was about a gardener with a lot of baby vegetables

which I stuck eyes on, wrapped up in napkins

and took them out to events and got people to help me look after them,

so then I toured that for a while and then pitched it to CBeebies

and it became Mr Bloom's Nursery.

That's fantastic. Do you go to other territories as well?

Yeah, all over.

Iran, Europe.

Big in Iran.

Lots of vegetables there!

You haven't done foreign versions with vegetables,

with exotic vegetables, have you?

No, there is a storyline, I guess, for an international fruit and veg

exchange programme where you bring them over from other climates

and they get to live in Manchester.

The durian fruit, I'm looking forward to that one.

-Yeah.

-Very good. Now, Ben, you are the high-scorers,

-we need a low score from you.

-OK.

I'm going to go for the one which I wasn't sure if it's correct or not.

This is exactly the right sort of territory you should be in.

OK, this is it, make or break.

So I'll go for Woody Woodpecker.

Woody Woodpecker, says Ben.

No red line for you because you are the high-scorers.

Let's see how far down the column we get with Woody Woodpecker.

It's right.

26 for Woody Woodpecker.

Very well done, the lowest score of the round so far.

107 is your total.

You may have done enough to keep yourselves in.

Yes, a very good answer, well played.

There he is in the bottom right.

Stanley Kubrick's favourite cartoon character.

Interesting.

Now, Dick. Dick, welcome back.

I asked Dom earlier about his magic and he said he still does it.

Do you do solo projects as well or are you exclusively working together?

Pretty much exclusive these days.

-20 years now we've been together.

-No!

-Yeah.

-Yes.

I know this is a question, but I ask this as somebody who has also been

in a double act, do you get on very well all the time?

Luckily, yes. It's like having a second wife, obviously.

-Yeah.

-If I go into a relationship,

they have to realise there is another person there,

there is a third person.

-Where is this going?

-Hold on a minute!

LAUGHTER

Where is this going?

At work.

-I see.

-Edit all of that out, ditch it.

But do you have a fixed way of working together?

Is one the writer and the other one the pacer?

One thing that we do do that not many people realise, until it gets

explained, is that we always stand the same way around.

-There's exceptions during this show.

-All double acts do that.

Even back in the day, Morecambe and Wise stood the same way around.

-Ant and Dec stand the same around.

-Laurel and Hardy.

So that you can read it when you're watching at home, Dick, Dom. You know who's who.

-There we are.

-A trade secret.

A trade secret. Now you'll be thrown out of the comedian's circle as well, I can't believe it.

Dick, you are on 37, the high-scorers are behind you.

Ben and Cerrie on 107. 69 or less keeps you in the game.

OK. I think I'm going to go for the character on there that is a skins

character. A skinned character and that is Big Bird.

Big Bird. Big Bird.

Here is your red line.

If you can get below that with Big Bird, you are into Round Two.

How many people said Big Bird?

It's right.

You are through.

Oh, just, 65.

You needed 69 and you got 65.

That is what I call economy.

102 is your total, well done.

Very well played. Yeah, Big Bird is eight foot two tall.

I call him Normal Sized Bird!

ALEXANDER CHUCKLES

Thanks very much, Richard.

Richard, welcome.

Jonny Briggs, how old were you when you did Jonny Briggs?

I started it when I was ten years old.

So, for two years I did it.

You were presumably out of school for quite a long time?

Yeah, and I think it shows now.

No, it doesn't.

You had a tutor on set and all that sort of thing?

Yeah, I did, yes, so in term time

I would have to do a few hours.

That must have been like a dream, that must have been such good fun.

Where did you film it?

We filmed it down here so I had to live away from Leeds

whilst I was filming it.

Yeah, interesting. What do you do now, Richard?

I'm actually working in the city now.

I work in banking.

How many people come and go...

"Jonny Briggs. Oh, it's the ears."

It's mainly about the ears they come up to me, yeah,

-not always about Jonny Briggs.

-The cuteness.

I think because of they way they do the research these days,

a lot of the time, my manager will have googled me

before I start so sometimes I get a few nasty surprises

on my first day at work but, yeah.

Now, Richard, you are on 55.

The high-scorers are still Ben and Cerrie on 107,

so 51 or less is all you need.

OK.

I guess I'm going to go for Porky Pig.

Porky Pig, says Richard.

Here's your red line. Get below that with Porky Pig and you're into

Round Two. How many people said it, Porky Pig?

It's right.

And you've done it. Oh, just, 49.

Just enough. Beautiful grouping on the final scores there.

104, 102, 107.

-Lovely.

-It's getting very tense now, isn't it?

Yes, a very good answer there. Very well played.

He also appears in Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Porky Pig.

Thank you very much.

Now then, Sarah.

Sarah, welcome to Pointless again.

-Thank you.

-Lovely to be back.

I read somewhere that Richard Briers was the person who told you

you should go and talk to Biddy Baxter about Blue Peter. Is that true?

No, I'd already talked to Biddy, or she'd already talked to me.

I was working in drama.

I'd just done one of those Sunday evening classic drama serials,

costume drama, and they said,

"Well, would you come and audition for us?"

I thought...

It would be worth it. In fact, the people I was sharing a flat with,

about seven different people, all said, "Bring us back a badge."

That's all they wanted.

My mum, who was an actress,

was working with Richard Briers at the time and he, typical actor,

darling, if it's regular work, you've got to take it.

I thought, well, you know, that's not such a bad mantra.

So that's what I did and a different adventure started.

Do you watch, having gone down that track, do you watch,

to keep the analogy going, the trains going down the other track

and think, I wish I'd gone that way?

Sometimes but, actually, mainly not because everything

the trajectory that happened then, meeting people like John

and being here now and meeting Mike and everything,

that all happened because of the job that I did.

-Yeah, absolutely.

-It's still acting as well, isn't it?

Yes. It's probably acting the hardest role you've ever done,

-because you're trying to be yourself.

-Well, exactly. We're acting all time.

This is not what we're like at all.

God, can you imagine if we were really like this?

We work so hard to keep our real selves off screen!

Sarah, what would you like to go for? That board is all yours.

Do you want to walk us through it?

Oh, dear. All right.

This is really the short straw, isn't it?

So, let's try...

Road Runner.

OK, 41 is your target.

41 or less keeps you in the game.

Let's see what 41 looks like, here is your red line.

There it is. If you can get below that with Road Runner, you are through to Round Two.

Oh!

-Oh, Sarah.

-I thought it was Road Runner.

Oh, Sarah, I'm so sorry.

-Yeah, I'm sorry, too.

-That's scores you 100 points.

This is the third time my partner has got 100.

Yeah.

-Don't worry.

-No, no, I'm sorry.

That takes your total up to 165.

I know, I don't think we're going to get past that.

When it keeps happening, you've got to think maybe it's you, John.

-Maybe you're just a jinx.

-This is his third time this has happened.

Oh, Lord, I think you're mixing up Woody Woodpecker with Road Runner.

You will not be the only person that did that.

There are similarities between the two of them.

No, you're saying that to try and make me feel better and it's not

-working.

-I'm absolutely not!

Now, let's took a look through the ones we have not had.

At the top, some big, big scorers here, as you'd expect.

Next to Betty Boop is Bugs Bunny for 89.

The top right.

-Peter Pan.

-Peter Pan, 92.

-Good.

-The second row there, next to Porky Pig.

-Basil Brush.

-Basil Brush.

Do you remember we had Basil Brush on the programme?

I remember that very well.

The two of you got on like a house on fire, didn't you?

-By which I mean we had to call the authorities!

-Yeah.

LAUGHTER

83 points for Basil Brush.

One of the best answers on the board next to Basil Brush.

Principal Skinner but then I'm thinking, PS.

-It's Seymour Skinner.

-Seymour Skinner is the right answer there.

20 points for that.

The next row. Spongebob.

The brilliant Spongebob Squarepants would have scored you 55.

Next to Fred Flintstone.

-The Pink Panther.

-The Pink Panther, that's other big scorer, 79.

-Bottom row, bottom left.

-That's Patrick Clifton, our friend.

That is Patrick Clifton, known as Postman Pat.

74 points. Next to him.

-Minnie Mouse.

-Minnie Mouse, 66.

And from American Dad.

-Stan Smith.

-Stan Smith, best answer on the board,

that would have scored you eight, so very well done if you said that.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, we are at the end of our first round and I'm so sorry,

it pains me to say goodbye to you, Sarah and John.

-It pains me to say goodbye to you.

-Such a treat having you here.

-And it pains me for John.

-I'm a bad luck charm, me.

Can I send in somebody else to be with John because he shouldn't be

-knocked out?

-No, just both come back next time and give an answer

that's on the board, Sarah. That, I think, would be the optimum.

Shall I tell you what was going to say?

-I know this is all going to...

-Is it rude?

-No, no, no.

It's Secret Squirrel.

See, nobody... Do you remember Secret Squirrel, anybody?

Shush, Secret Squirrel.

-Never mind.

-And Morocco Mole.

So I've got them coming out of my ears

-but not the right ones, sorry.

-Not the right ones.

All alliterative and wonderful but, anyway,

come back next time and maybe Secret Squirrel and thingy Mole will be on.

Don't give me that! You remember.

Thank you so much, Sarah and John.

-Thank you. Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs it's now time for Round Two.

Look at that, as if by magic, we're suddenly down to three pairs.

I don't like to say this but, at the end of this round,

it'll be down to two, so we'll have to say goodbye to another pair.

I really don't know which pair it's going to be cos that was so close.

Your scores, only five points between them.

That's impressive grouping.

Anyway, best of luck to all three pairs,

it's going to be close again, I'm sure.

Our category for Round Two this evening

is singles. Singles.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second and whoever's going first,

please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

..Christmas number twos. Richard?

Yeah, we all remember Christmas number ones

but we're going to give you the names now of six songs

that were number two on Christmas Day.

We need you to tell us the artist that had a number two hit with these

songs, please. Six on the first board, six on the second,

12 in all to have a go at at home. Very best of luck.

OK, so who are the artists who had hits

with these Christmas number twos? And here they are.

Let's have all of those again.

There we are, Sue.

Em, right, I've got to pick.

I'm not very good at this, really.

I'll have to go, and it's probably really high, Petula Clark, Downtown.

Petula Clark, says Sue, Downtown.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said Petula Clark.

It's right.

Not bad, 44. Not bad at all, Sue.

Kept off the number one spot by I Feel Fine by the Beatles.

It's now used as the theme tune to Downtown Abbey!

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Dick.

Dick, what would you like to go for on that board?

They were a good band and I think this might have been their only hit, one-off.

No, they might have had two,

but I know this anyway, so I'm going to go for the second one down,

which is The Darkness. The Darkness, says Dick.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for The Darkness.

It's absolutely right.

44 is our only score on the board at this stage and you pass it.

Substantially. Down to 14, very well done indeed, Dick.

Good boy.

That was kept off number one by Mad World.

They had quite a few hits, The Darkness.

In 2007, Justin Hawkins, their singer,

tried to represent the UK in the Eurovision Song Contest

-and was beaten by Scooch.

-That's right.

-Oh!

-Thank you, Richard.

Now then, Ben, what would you like? this is your board,

if you want to go through it all, Ben, and fill in all the answers,

you'd be most welcome, and then select the one you want to submit,

that would be great.

OK, I'll go for...

what I think is correct.

It may very well not be but 1992, Heal The World, Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson, says Ben, for Heal The World.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Michael Jackson.

It is Michael Jackson. 44 is the high score and we pass it.

14 is the low.

You don't quite get there but 22 is very respectable indeed.

22 for Michael Jackson.

Very well played. Kept off number one by I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston.

Very similar to We Are The World, which Michael Jackson also wrote.

But it's his song, he's allowed to do that, isn't he?

Auto-plagiarise. Yeah, absolutely.

Fairytale Of New York, famously Christmas number two.

Always on my Mind kept it off the number one spot and it was by?

The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl.

The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl, that would've scored you 59.

Jeepster is T Rex.

-T Rex, yeah.

-That would have scored you 24.

The best answer on the board, What Makes A Man.

It's by Westlife. It would have scored you one point.

Kept off number one by Can We Fix It? by Bob The Builder.

LAUGHTER

I suppose, yes, he could. Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, we're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

14, Dick and Dom, very well done indeed.

22 is where we find Ben and Cerrie.

44 is where we find Sue and Richard, so, Richard,

a nice low score from you might keep you in the game, so best of luck with that.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, we're going to put six more songs up on the board and here they come.

Christmas number twos, all of them.

I shall read those again.

-Cerrie.

-Hi.

-You're on 22.

-I know.

The high-scorers are on 44, which means 21 or less.

I only know one song on there

and I think everyone is going to know it

but I'm going to have to go for

Mariah Carey, All I Want For Christmas Is You.

Mariah Carey. OK, here is your red line.

If you can get below that with Mariah Carey,

you are definitely through but let's see how far down the column you get

with Mariah Carey.

Better than I thought.

Oh.

-39, not bad.

-OK, not too bad.

61 is your total, you might well have done enough there.

Yeah, I think it's a pretty good score.

It was number two to Stay Another Day by East 17.

There we are, thank you, Richard.

OK, Dom. Dom, you are on 14,

the high-scorers at the moment,

Cerrie and Ben behind you on 61 so 46 is your target.

OK, so, it's a toss-up between Last Christmas and I Have A Dream.

I'm going to go for I Have A Dream by ABBA.

ABBA, says Dom. Now then, here is your red line.

If you can possibly get below that with ABBA, you are into Round Three.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said ABBA.

You've done it. Look at that, very well done indeed, 34.

34, taking your total up to 48.

Safely through. That was kept off number one by Pink Floyd,

Another Brick In The Wall.

We know what all of our 100 people say whenever

we ask a question, so that we know that ABBA scored 34.

Do you know what one of our 100 gave as the answer to that?

-Martin Luther King.

-Martin Luther King is exactly right.

LAUGHTER

If he had released it as a single, I'm sure we would have remembered.

Yeah, 1979, I think we would.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Richard.

We have a target for you, which is 16.

16 or less.

Would you like to talk us through the board and fill in the blanks?

Well, I think Wham! was Last Christmas,

I've no idea who did Morningtown Ride,

or Sacred Trust, if I'm honest.

I think Build Me Up Buttercup is The Foundations.

Not 100% sure but let's go for that.

You say The Foundations and just after you said it, almost inaudible,

except to Richard and me and some dogs, was the little buzz from the audience there.

Just a little...

I don't know what that means.

-It's mean it's wrong, doesn't it?

-Or it means they like it, Richard.

Anyway, there is your red line.

You have to get below that with The Foundations.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said The Foundations.

It is The Foundations.

Our audience liked it!

Oh, look!

Seven!

The Foundations takes your total to 51.

Look at this grouping again.

Just three points between you.

That's great work, Richard, very well played.

Great song as well, Build Me Up Buttercups by The Foundations.

If you don't know it, do look it up. It's an absolute cracker.

Seven points for that. Now, everyone avoided Last Christmas,

which was Wham! - a big scorer. It would have scored 58.

Morningtown Ride is The Seekers

and that would have scored you 19 points.

Now, Sacred Trust is an interesting one.

Girls Aloud, they were Christmas number one in that year

and they were formed on a show called Pop Stars: The Rivals,

where there was a rival boyband and a girl band.

They had the Christmas number one

and the rival boyband had the Christmas number two.

Very well done if you said this.

This is show business for you all over, isn't it?

It's One True Voice was the answer, a pointless answer,

so very well done if you said that.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard, so at the end of our second round,

the pair who are heading home with a score of 61,

nothing wrong with that score, lovely low score,

just everyone else got slightly lower, I'm afraid.

I'm so sorry. Cerrie and Ben, it's been a real joy having you here,

thank you so much for playing. Come and play again.

APPLAUSE

Thank you for having us.

But for Dick and Dom, Sue and Richard,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Well, congratulations, Dick and Dom, Sue and Richard,

you are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play

for our jackpot which currently stands at £2,500.

APPLAUSE

And so we have the pleasing task

of deciding who goes through to the final

to play for that jackpot

and we do that by making you go head-to-head

but the difference is you are now allowed to confer

before you give your answers.

You can chat before saying what you think the answer should be.

It takes a bit of the pressure off, I think.

The first pair in this round to win two questions

will be playing for that jackpot.

Very, very best of luck and this is very exciting.

Dick and Dom versus Jonny Briggs.

As if that weren't exciting enough, we must remember

that the second question in this head-to-head round

is Richard's favourite ever Pointless category.

So much to look forward to.

And also the fact that we are currently 50% Richard,

which I think might be a record on Pointless.

I think that's quite nice.

There we go. Well, best of luck to everyone - Richards, as well.

Let's play the head-to-head.

Here's your first question, and it concerns...

What about that? Children's TV,

-Richard.

-Yeah, I'd like to show you five clues now to facts about

children's television. We just need the most obscure answer, please.

OK, but rather than me going through those clues,

we've got someone far more exciting than that,

we've got Sooty and Richard Cadell.

-APPLAUSE

-Ah, brilliant!

Sooty, welcome.

So nice to be here.

It's lovely to see you. Who's that?

I don't know. It's Alexander Armstrong, Sooty.

He wants to shake your hand, Alexander.

OK, yes, of course you can.

Oh, that's nice. I thought he was going to do something unpleasant.

He's saving that for later, I think.

OK. Fair enough. OK.

OK, so, Sooty, are you ready to read out the questions?

He's got them all ready, he's going to whisper them out, OK?

-Good.

-OK. So, ready?

So, first of all... What is the name of the green Teletubby?

The name or the member of the Royal family that Sooty squirted

with a water pistol in 1955.

The feline who wears the purple waistcoat

and hat whose best friends call him TC.

The name of the island that Thomas the Tank Engine lives on.

And then Dick Dastardly's canine sidekick in Wacky Races.

There we are. Thank you very much.

What's that? You want to whisper to Alexander.

Oh, no, no. No, no.

Oh, Sooty, no, Sooty, don't be a naughty boy.

Sooty, stop it! Sooty, stop it!

APPLAUSE

He's very naughty.

-Sorry about that.

-That's fine. Thank you very much indeed.

-Sooty and Richard Cadell.

-Thank you, everybody.

APPLAUSE

I'll tell you what, though,

that went better than when you met Basil Brush.

Ha! Indeed. There we are, well, wasn't that fun?

I'm going to read those questions for you again.

What I will actually do is read them myself rather than whisper them to Richard.

There we go. Dick and Dom, you're our low scorers so you'll go first.

I reckon that we should go for...

-I think go for that one.

-What? The Thomas the Tank Engine one?

-Yeah.

The Teletubby, you see, though, not many people will remember.

It was massive back in the late '90s, wasn't it?

So was Thomas the Tank Engine!

It went away and it's come back again.

The thing is, Teletubbies had the theme tune attached to it

with the name of that Teletubby.

-Very good point.

-People might remember that.

How often in Thomas the Tank Engine do they mention the island?

-The opening of every single show.

-Ah!

LAUGHTER

We are going to go for...

Shall we toss a coin?

-Dipsy.

-OK, you're going to go for Dipsy.

OK. Sue and Richard, talk us through the board.

You can now do all your talking out loud.

Well, we think the third one would be Top Cat.

-We don't know Thomas the Tank Engine, where he lived.

-No.

OK, yeah, we will go from Muttley, Dick Dastardly's sidekick.

Muttley. OK, so we have Dipsy and we have Muttley.

Dick and Dom went for Dipsy for the green Teletubby.

Let's see how many people said that.

22 for Dipsy.

22 for Dipsy.

Now, Sue and Richard have gone for Muttley for Dastardly's sidekick.

Let's see how many people said Muttley.

It's right.

69 for Muttley.

Very well done indeed, Dick and Dom, after one question, you're up 1-0.

Well played. I know you were debating whether to go for that or go for Island of Sodor.

Let's see who won the battle of Dick and Dom.

The Island of Sodor, if you said it, would have scored...

25 points.

So you were right with Dipsy.

The feline in the purple waistcoat, you're quite right, it is Top Cat.

It's a huge score, 91 points for that.

-Who's the member of the Royal family you should probably not shoot with a water pistol?

-Prince Philip.

Prince Philip is the right answer.

Four points for that.

I bet he took it about as well as you.

One of the slightly odder moments of my life.

You've had some odd ones, as well.

I've had some odd ones. But lovely.

Now, Sue and Richard,

you have to win this next point but you get to go first,

so you have a slight advantage here, so best of luck.

Our second question concerns...

Least intelligent dogs.

Yeah, in Stanley Coren's book The Intelligence Of Dogs,

he ranks dogs in order of their intelligence

and we've picked five breeds of dogs from the bottom ten of his list,

and we're going to show you pictures of them now plus their initials.

Can you name the breeds?

OK, let's reveal our five dogs and here they come.

-Oh-ho!

-OK...

OK, now, Sue and Richard, you will go first.

So, we know a couple.

We don't know whether it's clever or not,

-but we're going to go for Afghan hound.

-Afghan hound for C.

Afghan hound, say Sue and Richard.

Dick and Dom, talk us through the dogs.

We know that A is...

I'm pretty sure it's the same words twice.

Chuck-chuck?

Chop-chop?

-Chow Chow. Chow Chow.

-Yeah. Chow Chow.

-Could be a Chow Chow.

Shall we go mastiff?

Masteef. M-A-S-T-I-F-E.

Aren't mastiffs called bull mastiffs?

It might be a different breed.

I don't know.

-Let's do it. Mastiff, E.

-Do you think so?

E, mastiff, say Dick and Dom.

Afghan hound versus mastiff.

Oh, no.

Sue and Richard have gone for Afghan hound for C.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of 100 people said Afghan hound.

It is an Afghan hound.

66. Still good.

Now, Dick and Dom have taken a bit of a gamble here

and gone for mastiff, for E, because it fits the letters.

That's right. Can't bear it!

That's it. Maybe it doesn't have an E on the end.

Let's find out, is it a mastiff?

Masteef?

-It is a mastiff!

-Yes!

-And it wins you the point!

-Yes!

45, very well done indeed and...

APPLAUSE

..moreover, Dick and Dom...

it means, after two questions,

you are straight through to the final, 2-0.

Very well done for taking the risk.

Exactly the right thing to do. Do you know what?

If you'd taken an even weirder risk,

you'd have been right with Chow Chow, as well.

-No way!

-It's the right answer.

Would have scored you 29 points.

So cute.

B is a bulldog.

No point going for it

because it would have scored a lot more than Afghan hound. 84.

D is the best answer on the board, that is a basenji.

Basenji.

Very well done if you said that.

Five points. The basenji looks very intelligent.

-Doesn't it?

-At the moment, it looks like it's looking...

It looks like it's in a gallery looking at a Picasso retrospective.

Ah!

Thank you much indeed, Richard.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm so sorry, Sue and Richard, it is you.

It's been a real pleasure having you here.

-You've been absolutely fantastic.

-Thanks for having us.

Please come back and play again.

-Wonderful to have you here, Sue and Richard.

-Thank you.

But for Dick and Dom, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Dick and Dom.

You have seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

-This really is Pointless.

-Yeah.

Well, listen, you now have the chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is currently standing at

£2,500. There we are.

That is money you could be taking home for your charities.

Now, as always, you get to choose your category

from the four that we put up on the board.

We just have to hope there's something

you quite like the look of up there.

Let's see what today's selection looks like. We have got...

-Go for it. It's good.

-The Land of Oz

is a good one, though, isn't it?

Yet, but that could be...

-It could be what?

-Wizard Of Oz, could be Wicked.

-Could be Australia, though.

-Oh, could be Australia!

-Strictly Come Dancing.

-Strictly Come Dancing it is.

OK, very best of luck.

If you know your Strictly, there's some nice answers up here.

We are looking for any Strictly contestant

since the first series all the way through to the 2015 series,

the regular series, please,

any of the celebrities whose first name begin with an S.

Any of the celebrities whose first names begin with a C.

Or any of the celebrities whose first name begins with a D.

S, C, D, rather nicely.

Any of the celebs on the regular series

of Strictly Come Dancing whose first names begin S, C or D.

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you much indeed.

As always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers. All you need to win that jackpot for your charities

is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

-No.

-No.

-Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are, your time starts now.

D... Darren Gough.

-He won.

-We can put them all in D, but let's try C.

OK. So, let's go for C.

Did, erm, oh...

Oh! Now my brain has just gone blank.

This is terrible. Sheridan Smith hasn't done it, has she?

No. No. She has not.

Come on. OK, let's just go through them logically.

Oh, my goodness. My brain...

Sarah, Sally, Claire, I'm just going to give you names.

Sally Gunnell? Sally Gunnell?

Sally Gunnell. Catherine...

Catherine Tate. Er... Er...

-Chris... Chris...

-Charlie?

-Chris. He won it.

Chris, the news reader.

Yes! Chris...

Come on! You know.

-Chris!

-I know!

Who does the sport? He won it!

-Akabusi.

-No, he didn't do it.

-Cheryl.

-Cheryl what?

-Cheryl Cole hasn't done it.

-Ten seconds left.

Don't say ten seconds left.

Do we have another one for S? Another S or another D?

-Charlie...

-This is bizarre.

Charlie Hickson.

-No...

-Charlie...

Oh, my, this is the weirdest thing that's ever happened.

OK, that is your minute up.

I now need your three answers.

OK, one of them is Darren Gough.

-Darren Gough.

-Sally Gunnell.

-Sally Gunnell.

-And a C...

-Caroline...

-Charlotte... Oh! Oh! Caroline Flack.

-Caroline Flack?

-Yes! Caroline Flack.

-Caroline Flack.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

The most pointless one, I think, will be Sally Gunnell.

Sally Gunnell goes last. Least likely to be pointless?

Even though she was quite decent.

Darren Gough won, Caroline Flack won, Sally Gunnell didn't.

-Shall we put Darren Gough in the first position?

-Yes.

-And Sally Gunnell at the last?

-Thanks for helping us.

-Caroline Flack in the middle.

-Yes.

-Good idea.

OK, well, let's put those answers up on the board in that order, then,

and here we go. We've got...

Darren Gough, Caroline Flack, Sally Gunnell. Three good answers there.

Who knows if any of them are going to be pointless?

If one of them were to be, it would win you a jackpot of £2,500

for your charities. What charities are you playing for? Dick, you first.

I'm playing for the Alzheimer's Society in memory of my dear mum.

And I'm playing for Myeloma UK in memory of my wonderful father-in-law.

APPLAUSE

Two excellent charities there.

Let us hope one of these answers

wins that jackpot for your two charities.

Darren Gough was your first answer,

the one you thought was probably least likely to be pointless.

Only one of these has to be pointless

for you to win the jackpot - so for £2,500,

let's see how many people named Darren Gough

as a Strictly contestant.

Well, it's right.

Let's see how far down the column we go with Darren Gough.

If this takes it down to zero, of course, you leave with £2,500.

Down it goes, into single figures.

-No, no, no!

-Oh! Seven. APPLAUSE

Seven. For Darren Gough.

That is a great score.

Two more shots at today's jackpot.

Caroline Flack won't do it because I think it was quite recent

and she was a very popular winner.

With that... Yes.

With that dance she did.

-Charleston.

-It was the Charleston.

-Very good.

-We know everything now.

Caroline Flack, let's find out.

Has to be pointless for you to win the jackpot.

For £2,500, let's see how many people said Caroline Flack.

Well, it's right. Darren Gough took us all the way down to seven.

Caroline Flack now takes us down through the 20s.

Into the teens. Into single figures.

Down it goes, passes seven, still going down.

-To Two!

-Oh!

-Oh! What?

-APPLAUSE

-Can't believe it.

-What about that?

We have gone from seven to two.

I like the way this is going.

Sally Gunnell was your final answer.

The one you thought was the best shot at a pointless answer.

Now, if there's any justice,

this will come all the way down to zero

and you'll leave with £2,500 for your charities.

Let's find out how many people said Sally Gunnell.

Is she a pointless answer

in this category of Strictly Come Dancing contestants?

No!

Oh, no! She never did it?

APPLAUSE

Oh, I'm sorry.

-So close.

-I'm so sorry, you didn't manage to find

that all-important pointless answer,

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £2,500.

However, as it is a celebrity special,

and each of our celebrity pairs is playing for a charity,

we're going to detonate £500 to each celebrity pair

-to give to their charities.

-Good.

-Thank you very much.

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much for being such brilliant contestants.

Wonderful, strong performers the whole way through.

It's been a real joy having you on

-and you get to take home a Pointless trophy each.

-Hooray!

-Well done.

-Well done.

It's so interesting, isn't it?

You obviously watch the show

and, you know, year after year after year,

on all of these pointless answers you're going to recognise names,

and go "Of course, of course, of course."

I apologise in advance.

Let's take a look, we'll start with S.

Yeah.

You could have had...

Sophie Ellis Baxter a pointless answer.

Sunetra Sarkar.

You also could have had Siobhan Hayes.

Those are the answers for S.

-Let's take a look at the answers for C.

-Simon Webb wasn't one of them?

Simon Webb scored one point.

-OK.

-Claire Sweeney!

Chelsee Healey, a pointless answer.

Cherie Lunghi, Christopher Parker, Claire Sweeney,

Claire King, Colin Salmon, Craig Kelly -

all of those were pointless answers.

It was Chris Hollins was the guy you were thinking of

and Chris Hollins would have scored you four points.

-OK.

-Oh, OK.

-Now for D.

Big names here as well. Dave Myers, one of the Hairy Bikers.

Deborah Meaden, a pointless answer.

Diarmuid Gavin. Dom Littlewood.

You also could have had Dan Lobb and Don Warrington.

Very well done if you got one of those at home,

and I know that you know lots of those answers.

So tricky in that 60 seconds, but you played brilliantly throughout.

-Thank you.

-Listen, Dick and Dom, it's been fabulous having you on the show.

-Thank you so much for playing. Dick and Dom!

-Thank you!

APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

-..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE