Special Pointless Celebrities

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and a very warm welcome to Pointless Celebrities,

the show where obvious answers mean nothing,

and obscure answers mean everything.

Let's meet today's Pointless celebrities.

And couple number one?

Hello. I'll go first. I'm Lucy Porter, and I'm a writer

and comedian and I've been here before.

I was on Pointless before,

and got beaten by John McCririck and his lovely wife.

Er, and, so, I'm here to kind of avenge that loss today.

I'm Rob Deering, comedian.

And, yeah, I'm like a poor man's John McCririck.

No, you're not!

-Couple number two!

-Well, I'm Stanley Johnson,

I'm an environmentalist, I'm a writer.

I've been on this show before, only got through to the second round.

But we're hoping to do better this time.

And I want to say, I'm the father of all the Johnsons, including...

Rachel!

I'm daughter of Stanley, my name's Rachel Johnson, and I'm a

columnist, a journalist, novelist, presenter, whatever.

-And a brilliant daughter.

-Aw!

Couple number three.

I'm John Shuttleworth, versatile singer-organist,

from Sheffield, South Yorkshire!

And I'm Dave Gorman, a non-versatile comedian from Staffordshire.

And, finally, couple number four!

Hi, I'm Charlotte Crosby,

and I am from a popular MTV show called Geordie Shore.

I'm Carol McGiffin, and I'm a writer and sometimes I'm on telly!

Thank you very much, all of you. A very warm welcome to Pointless.

We'll get to chat to you each throughout the show as it goes along.

So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce, on a

long-distance phone call with the factual future - reverse charges,

I might add - it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard!

Hiya. Hi, everybody!

Good evening. Good evening to you.

-Good evening.

-This is going to be a hard-fought show, I think.

Podium one - Lucy has been on before, she's got through to the

head-to-head, and now she's on with Rob, who is not only a very funny

comic, but a very, very good quizzer as well. So they're going to be tough to beat.

Podium two - Stanley and Rachel, also been here before.

And they've got that father-daughter thing,

the power of that family unit I think will be hard to beat.

Podium three - Dave, again, super bright.

John - literally no idea what's going to happen with him.

But we shall see. It could go either way, right?

And podium four - Carol has been on twice before...

-Mm-hmm.

-..and has been knocked out in the first round both times.

-Both times.

-So, Charlotte, a lot, a lot of pressure on your shoulders.

-I think I can do it.

-I think you can, too.

Round One, looking at the quality on display, in Round One I could almost

guarantee there will be a pointless answer.

-Almost guarantee.

-Listen to that buzz!

There you go. OK. Now, as usual, all of today's questions have been put

to 100 people before the show. Our contestants here are looking for

those all-important pointless answers, these being answers

that none of our 100 people gave.

Find one of those and we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, as today's show is a celebrity special,

each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity.

We start off with a jackpot of £2,500. There we are.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless!

So, remember this - the pair with the highest score at the end of each

round will be eliminated,

the pair with the highest score - so keep your scores low.

And no conferring until we get to the head-to-head round.

Best of luck with all that. Our first category today is...

It's a words round.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes. We gave 100

people 100 seconds to name as many words ending

in "gle" as they could.

-Words ending "gle", Richard.

-Yep, we're looking for any word which has

its own entry in the British and world English section

of OxfordDictionaries.com, please, that ends "gle". As always,

no proper nouns, no hyphenated words, anything like that.

Just any word that ends "gle".

There are loads of pointless answers in here - loads.

-I'll have a little think about yours.

-Yes. Thank you.

Lucy, tell me about this parent and child comedy club you've got going.

Yes, Screaming With Laughter it's called.

-Screaming...!

-There's a lot of screaming and a lot of laughter.

It's for parents and carers with babies under one,

and they come along and have a night out, but in the afternoon.

And so I get all my comedian mates to come along and do it.

And it's nice for comedians, because normally, when members of the

audience throw up or wet themselves, it's a bad thing

whereas it's a lot cuter when it happens in this context.

Fantastic. Now, Lucy - words ending "gle".

OK. I'm going to go death or glory here,

because I'm not even sure this is a real word.

I'm going to go for finagle.

Finagle. Let's find out. Fina... It's a great word.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It is a word.

3!

3 for finagle - that's a fantastic start to the round!

That's a very good start, very well played.

"To get by dishonest or devious means."

-To finagle.

-There you go. OK, now, Rachel, welcome back to Pointless.

-Thank you, Xander.

-Very good to have you here again.

Now, I want to ask you about your trilogy of Hell novels.

Oh, good. I want to talk about it!

Yeah! Well, we had Notting Hell, we had Shire Hell,

-and then we had Fresh Hell.

-Well done.

-Is that it on the hell front?

That's it for now. I think that the public has suffered enough,

and I'm not writing another hell tome for the moment.

Has anyone approached you for rights for TV or film?

Somebody please approach me for rights!

Tell me. Surely somebody has approached you.

-Well, I want this to happen!

-Don't you think?

-Definitely.

Sunday evenings would be made by that.

Sunday evenings. The new Downton. Let's make it happen.

Yeah, well, we could do that, we could make that.

-Oh, yeah, definitely. Yeah, yeah.

-Perfect.

I don't know how you would play some sort of suburbanite west Londoner. That would be a stretch.

-Shire Hell, I'd be fine.

-Oh, yeah, you could do that as well.

-Slide right into that.

-Yeah.

-OK, now, Rachel.

Finagle scoring 3. I think we can go even lower than that.

I don't know if we can. I don't think I've done very well, though.

-Inveigle.

-Inveigle.

Inveigle. OK, let's see if that's right, let's see...

We know it's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said inveigle.

Very good.

Well, 3 is all we've got so far...

And you've gone pointless with inveigle! Very well done indeed!

That adds £250 to today's jackpot, takes the total up to £2,750.

And it scores you absolutely nothing.

Very well done indeed. An early lead there from the Johnsons.

That's a very good answer. Two great answers so far.

Very similar words as well - that just means to persuade someone to do

-something via devious means. To inveigle.

-Thank you.

-John...

-Hello, Xander.

-Welcome to Pointless.

-Are you well?

I'm very well, thank you. It's lovely to have you here.

I wanted to ask you about your Eurovision song.

-What happened there?

-Oh... Well, Pigeons In Flight?

-Yes!

-I want to see you tonight...

I offered it to the Norwegians

because at the time they used to keep coming last, with nul points.

Anyway...

They didn't want it, because I wouldn't go and live in Norway.

So, where does your inspiration come from?

Well, erm... It can sometimes come from this show.

-Really?

-I tried to write a song about this show, but I couldn't,

so I've written another one. Erm...

Well, it's, er... It's one about having two margarines in the fridge.

At one time.

-JAUNTY TUNE BEGINS

-It goes a bit like this.

# Two margarines on the go, it's a

# Nightmare scenario

# Two margarines in my life

# Two margarines to put on my knife

# Two margarines but which one

# Should I use to butter my scone?

# It's a dilemma second to none. #

Isn't it?

Ooh.

Thank you.

Thank you, John.

John, what are you going to go for, for words ending "gle"?

I want to go for boggle, which...

But with a different meaning. It's a Lancastrian sprite.

Boggle, says John.

-Lose us the game!

-Let's see...

Let's see how many of our 100 people said boggle!

It's a high number.

-DAVE:

-Go on, you're in. You're in. You're in.

Oh, look at that! Look at that,

not bad at all! 10 for boggle!

-Well done!

-Thank you.

Yeah, well played, John. "To bamboozle or flummox".

-To boggle.

-To boggle.

Tuboggle - which of course is something completely different.

-It's something you slide down a hill on.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

-Erm, Carol, welcome back to Pointless.

-Thank you very much.

Something I discovered about you which I didn't know -

-you're mad keen on photography, aren't you?

-I am, yes.

You have a huge collection of cameras.

-I do! How do you know that?!

-I just discovered this.

What's your...? Of all your cameras, which is the one you prize the most?

Oh, it's an old one.

It'll be the Konica Hexar AF.

-A Hexar.

-Without a doubt, yeah.

It's weird, because when you use that camera and there are children

around, like Charlotte, they always go,

"Can I have a look at the picture on the back?"

And you go, "Yeah, look." And they get confused.

"Where's the picture?"

So, yeah, I'm a big fan of film photography, yeah. Love it.

I suppose now, people don't really have them any more, so you can probably pick them up quite cheaply,

-can you, or is that...?

-Yeah, you can, but they're becoming more popular, because everyone's realised

that digital photography is just too prolific. There's too much of it,

-and there's too many pictures and no-one looks at them.

-That's the trouble, no-one ever bothers

-printing them off. We all carry thousands of them around.

-Exactly.

-Look in an album, looking at pictures...

-Yeah, I know.

We should reintroduce it. Right, erm, Carol - words ending "gle".

I don't think I've got one that's as good as any of the ones

that have gone before. But I'm going to go with rectangle.

-Rectangle, says Carol.

-Yes.

-Rectangle - that's earned you

a vigorous nod from pretty much everyone down the line.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said rectangle.

It's right. It's going to be a big, high score, though.

6 for rectangle!

Very well done indeed!

-Very good!

-That's not bad!

Well played, Carol. Yeah, rectangle, that means a drunk angle.

Thanks very much. We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

Nothing was the best score of the pass. Very well done indeed to you, Rachel.

Rachel and Stanley, I think you will be in Round Two.

As Lucy and Rob surely should be, with a lovely low score of 3.

Then up to 6, where we find Carol and Charlotte, and then up to 10.

You're not that far ahead, John and Dave but, Dave,

you know what we need from you -

-a nice low score to keep you in the game.

-Yes.

-Best of luck with that.

We're going to come back down the line now. Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, so, remember we are looking for words ending in "gle".

Erm, Charlotte...

-Oh! Am I next?

-Welcome to Pointless.

Erm, Charlotte, I want to know about Geordie Shore.

-Yes.

-How...? Because it's sort of...

What do you call it, structured drama?

-Is that what it's called?

-Ours isn't structured like everyone else's.

-Right.

-We do just live in a house.

A lot like Big Brother, when me and Carol were in.

-We've got cameras all over the house.

-Yeah.

-Which film us 24/7.

So, it's just really what happens.

It really is. No-one takes you aside and says, "Come on,

-"a nice storyline if..."?

-No, no.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-Do you find your lives

become a bit more melodramatic having a camera there?

I think there's so much history with all of the cast members in there,

-it's hard to hide from drama.

-Yeah. Oh, you can't hide from drama.

-People annoy you so easily.

-Yeah. Do you leave really missing everyone,

or do you leave swearing you'll never see them again?

-Just so glad to be gone!

-Oh, really?

Now, Charlotte.

-Yes.

-Words ending "gle".

Well, I had one, right? But I had a little bit of a problem with it.

I don't know whether it's in the dictionary.

-Ah.

-Carol, I'm so sorry.

Oh, stop it, it'll be all right!

-Go on!

-OK. So, it's from Harry Potter.

-And it's muggle.

-Muggle.

Muggle. Yeah. I'd be very surprised if that wasn't in the dictionary.

You ideally would be scoring 3 or less to avoid overtaking

-our high score.

-I can't watch!

-There is your red line!

Let's see how far down the column you get with muggle.

Oh, god, it's not a word...

-It's right!

-Yes!

-It's right!

It scores you 2! SHE SHRIEKS

-Yes!

-This is good news on so many fronts!

That takes your total up to 8.

It means Carol gets through to Round Two for the first time in her

Pointless career. It's very exciting, very well done indeed.

-Muggle.

-Yeah, very well played.

It does actually come from the Harry Potter books,

and that's to mean someone without magical powers.

But now it means anyone who's not conversant in a particular skill

is called a muggle.

There you go. OK.

-Now, Dave.

-Yes.

-Wow, that puts the pressure on you there.

-It does.

We have to have ideally a pointless answer from you.

-Yes.

-But anyway, before that...

-Yes.

-Tell us about the bet.

-You'd better talk to me now because I won't be around for long.

-We'd better get it all out now.

-Danny Wallace and you had a bet.

-Yes.

-What happened?

Er, the bet was to see if I could meet 54 people called Dave Gorman,

and I succeeded in that bet,

and I've now met something like 108.

And no matter how much I protest, they won't stop coming to meet me.

Yeah. That's true, there's a critical mass.

-Yeah.

-Up to a certain point, you have to do all the work...

-Yeah.

-And after that certain point, you've just got to turn away the Daves Gorman.

There were five people who changed their name by deed poll to Dave Gorman, including two girls.

-That's nice.

-One of them who,

her boyfriend also changed his name to Dave Gorman,

and we are hoping for the world's first inter-Dave Gorman marriage.

Dave, we really need a pointless answer from you...

-Yes.

-..just to keep you in with a ghost of a chance.

-What would you like to go for?

-The pressure is on.

Again, there is a word which I think might or might not be in the dictionary. It is...

a Jamaican dance hall dance.

-I'm thinking...bogle.

-Bogle.

-Yeah.

B-O-G-L-E.

OK, let's see. No red line for you, because you are the highest scorers.

But let's see how many of our 100 people said bogle.

It's right. It's right.

It scores you 1, Dave, taking your total up to 11!

Very well played, Dave - might have kept yourself in it there.

Yeah, not only the Jamaican dance hall dance,

but also that's the fairy or sprite that John was talking about.

-That's a bogle.

-Is it?

-Yes.

-Oh!

-So, basically we both said bogle.

-Essentially, yeah.

-So, we should have two points, not 11.

If the Romans were watching this now, they would think you'd got 2 points. So, that's good news.

Thank you very much indeed. Stanley, welcome back.

-Lovely to be here.

-Now, what I wanted to ask you is,

one of the things you enjoy the most

is to watch wild animals in their natural habitats.

Now, I noticed that you've seen a polar bear in the Arctic.

How long were you there for, and where did you find it?

Well, we were going in a ship,

a Russian research vessel, round Svalbard.

Svalbard is, you know, north, north, north of Norway.

There are about 3,000 of them there, in Svalbard.

They outnumber the inhabitants, don't they?

Well, there are 3,000 polar bears on Svalbard, and actually in Svlabard

you are told it is illegal to go walking without carrying a weapon.

-That's right.

-And, yes, I'm jolly lucky to have a chance to do

all these wonderful things which involve travelling around the world endlessly,

occasionally coming to Borehamwood, to see wild animals!

Stanley, I'm slightly reluctant to stop you, but...

I'm going to ask what your answer is.

Rachel got a pointless answer. It would be perfect, wouldn't it, if you got one as well.

I'm actually going to go for pentangle.

Pentangle. Pentangle.

That's earned you a murmur from the crowd, which is good.

Here is your red line. If you get below that red line with pentangle, you're through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Well, it gets you through, and it scores you 3.

3 for pentangle.

Lovely answer, Stanley, very well played.

-Yeah, another name for a pentagram.

-There you go. OK.

Now, Rob - Richard said that you're a seasoned quizzer.

-Yes.

-He wasn't kidding. I mean,

you did your first quiz on telly aged 12?

Yes. I did Crack It. Everyone remembers Crack It, right?

Yeah. What happened to you in Crack It?

Well, I got really scared.

It was all... We had this rehearsal and it went great.

It was on TV-am, it was on Saturday morning TV.

-Yeah.

-And then when the cameras went on, I went...

-HE GASPS

-Like that.

And they said, "True or false, Penny Black is a coin?"

And I went, "True! Aghh!" Like that.

-And then I was out.

-Are you feeling a bit calmer today?

No. A lot of pressure. Because by now,

someone's supposed to have messed up!

You're on 3. Ideally, you would score 7 or less.

I wanted... My first thought...

I'm not going to do it but my first thought was dongle.

I thought, if that's in the dictionary, it's good,

but then people might say it as well. So, I was inspired by bogle.

-Bugle.

-HE MIMICS A BUGLE

Oh, I've got you, yes. Bugle. Erm, here's your red line -

if you can get below this red line with bugle,

you're into Round Two. Let's see how many of our 100 people said bugle.

It's a word, it's a word!

-Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!

-Unexpected!

15 for bugle!

Unexpected!

That takes your total up to 18.

That is a high score - the bugle sounds again, I'm afraid.

Dongle also would have seen you knocked out,

because that would have scored you 11 points.

-Lots and lots of pointless answers here.

-Shall I...?

-Yeah, have you got one?

-Quadrangle, is mine.

-Quadrangle - it's not what I guessed.

4 Points. Whereas quinquangle was a pointless answer.

-Oh! That's what you put down for me?

-Oh, no, no, no.

-Oh, no, phew.

I put down boondoggle for you. Which was also a pointless answer.

-You flatter me!

-Let's take a look at our pointless answers, shall we?

All sorts of answers here.

Fandangle was a pointless answer.

-Gargle....

-Gargle!

-Gargle was my first choice!

Sorry, everyone! I binned gargle for bugle!

Honeyfuggle. Intermingle.

Inveigle. Smuggle.

A pointless answer, amazingly.

Spreadeagle - that's a lovely pointless answer.

Squiggle, untangle - lots and lots of pointless answers.

Let's take a look at the top three scorers,

the ones that most of our 100 people said.

There we are. Well, thank you very much indeed.

What an extraordinary round that was,

-and what a strange twist in the tail, Rob. Ah!

-Gargle.

-Gargle...

Standing here with gargle in my head for ten minutes, I heard bogle,

I thought, "I know - bugle!" And now we're going home!

-Oh!

-That's life!

-Well, we have to say goodbye to you.

Very, very low score.

And very well done. Lovely start from Lucy as well.

-But we'll see you again, I hope, another time.

-I'll have to come back to...

-You have to.

But it's been lovely having you on. Rob and Lucy, brilliant.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And now we're down to three pairs.

At the end of this round we'll have to say goodbye to another pair but,

oh, I have plaudits to hand out!

John and Dave, well done for getting through.

Very exciting in that last round there.

-Carol, Round Two, lovely to have you here.

-I know! Never known it!

Charlotte - lovely low score there with muggle.

-Very well done.

-Yep.

-And Stanley and Rachel,

wonderful low-scoring there and a pointless answer, of course.

It's just getting more and more competitive as each round goes by!

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two this evening is...

Sport.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Alliterative sportspeople.

-Richard.

-Yeah, on each board we're going to show you the names of six

sports people whose first and surnames begin with the same letter.

You just need to tell us the name of the sport with which they're most closely associated, please.

Six on the first board, six on the second,

-12 in all to have a go at at home. Good luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

So, we're looking for the sports that are played by these

alliterative sportspeople. And here is our first board. We have...

Rachel, this is a dream come true, isn't it?

I only actually know one of...

One-and-a-half.

I'm going to say Ray Reardon.

-Snooker?

-Snooker.

Ray Reardon, snooker, says Rachel. Let's see if it's right, let's see

how many of our 100 people said snooker.

It's right.

So, a very high...

84. Listen, that's a lot better than 100.

-84.

-Yeah, former policeman and miner, Ray Reardon.

They called him Dracula. Because he slept in a coffin and drank blood.

-On account of what, his...?

-His hair looked like...

-His widow's peak.

-His widow's peak, yeah.

-Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

-That's a pleasure.

-Now, Dave.

Right, erm...

There's two that I know.

There's one which I have a real long shot at.

But I'm so scared that it's going to be 100 rather than pointless.

And with an 84 on the board, I'm going to play it safe, I think,

and say Mickey Mantle, baseball.

-Mickey Mantle, baseball, says Dave.

-I might be wrong there, I...

Let's see if Mickey Mantle's right for baseball.

It is right.

It is right.

There we are, 22 for Mickey Mantle. A high of 84 and a low of 22.

Well played, Dave. Yeah, his entire career spent at the New York Yankees.

I'll ask you what your risk was at the end of the pass as well.

Thanks very much, Richard. Carol, this board's all yours -

if you would like to go through them all and fill in all the sports,

you'd be most welcome.

Yeah, no, I'll... I'll give that a miss.

Erm, I only know one, and I think I know it.

If it's... It might be wrong, but I think Didier Drogba is in football.

-A footballer.

-Didier Drogba, football, says Carol.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said football.

It's right. Ooh, and it passes 84, down to 69!

For Didier Drogba being a footballer.

Very well played. If this round proves anything,

it's how famous Ray Reardon is, I think.

-Yes.

-Erm, Dave, what was the risk you were going to go for?

It was Desmond Douglas... At the back of my head I have table tennis.

You're absolutely right. Although it actually scores 19 points,

so it was pretty much the same as Mickey Mantle.

There he is. Gordon Greenidge is, er...

-Cricket.

-..West Indian cricketer, yeah. Would have scored you 26.

And the best answer on the board,

he's the subject of a song in the South Park movie,

What Would Brian Boitano Do? And he was a figure skater.

Brian Boitano.

6 points for that, so very well played if you said that.

There we are. Well...

All sorts of different pressures on people for this next pass.

Let's take a look at the scores. 22 the best score of that pass.

Very well done indeed, Dave and John.

Then we travel up to 69, Carol and Charlotte,

and then not that much further ahead are Rachel and Stanley on 84.

So, Stanley, yes, a little bit of pressure on you to find a nice low score in the next pass.

Good luck with that. We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more alliterative sportspeople up on the board -

and here they are. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Now, Charlotte,

ideally, you'd score 14 or less.

I want to go for one which doesn't look familiar.

Ideally. But then it has to be right.

I'm going to go for Bonnie Blair.

-Yes.

-What's...? How do you pronounce his name?

-Is it Bonnie Blair?

-I think...

-Can I just know if that's a girl or a boy?

It doesn't matter, just which sport do you think Bonnie Blair is attached to? Is associated with?

That's a girl, isn't it?

What difference does it make?

Bonnie Blair played...

-Ice hockey.

-Ice hockey.

Bonnie Blair. Bonnie Blair.

Let's find out. This would just be brilliant if this were right.

Let's see. There is your red line. Bonnie Blair, ice hockey,

is that right? How many people said it if it is?

-Oh, no!

-Damn!

Bonnie Blair... Oh, I was believing Bonnie Blair is an ice hockey player

there! 169 is your total, that scores you 100 points.

Yeah, sorry, Charlotte - it's the most Geordie of all the names up there, Bonnie Blair, I think.

But I will give all the correct answers at the end of the pass. OK.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Well! That not just takes the pressure off, that guarantees you,

that's a bye through to the head-to-head, John.

-Is it?

-So, even if you scored 100 you'd still go through.

Well, I think I know Vincent, but...

I'd rather go for Beryl Burton, cos I like saying the name.

Beryl Burton.

Er, cyclist.

Beryl Burton, cyclist, says John. No red line for you, you're already

through. Let's see how many of our 100 people said cyclist.

-It's right.

-Well done.

-Thank you. Come on!

23. Very good indeed.

Nice grouping between the scores there as well!

45 is your total, the lowest total of the round, I might add.

Very well played, John. Yes, still holds the women's 12-hour world record,

Beryl Burton, set 50 years ago.

And when she set it, it was faster than the men's 12-hour record as well.

When she set it, she passed the UK men's champion on the road and

offered him a Liquorice Allsort to give him a bit of energy.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Stanley. That has helped you out.

Your score at the moment is 84, and actually your target is also 84.

If you can score 84 or less, you are through to the head-to-head.

So, a little bit of pressure off there, thanks to Charlotte.

Bjorn Borg is a pretty obvious one.

I'm going to go for Alberto Ascari,

because I remember,

I remember the song.

Alberto Ascari, he drives a Ferrari.

So, I'm going to go for Alberto Ascari in motor racing.

He might have just driven one in his spare time, of course.

But, erm, let's find out.

Here is your red line - if you get below that with motor racing, you are through to the head-to-head.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

And you're through to the head-to-head. Very well done indeed.

Alberto Ascari...

takes you down to 9. Very good indeed! 93 is your total.

That's brilliant work, Stanley.

Well played. Yeah, one of the early heroes of Formula 1, Alberto Ascari.

John, if you'd had to go for Vincent van der Voort,

-what would you have said?

-Er, he does that, doesn't he?

Bit of that, darts?

Is exactly right. Yeah, would have scored you 15 points as well,

would have been terrific. Now, Bonnie Blair...

She's not an ice hockey player, but she's a speed skater.

-I've been robbed!

-So close!

-I've been robbed!

-So close!

-2 points if you had said speed skating.

Ernie Els is a golfer.

58 points for that. Stanley, were you tempted to go for Bjorn Borg?

I was. I was, yes.

Lucky you didn't, it would have scored you...

97 points.

-Oh!

-Oh!

97 points, how about that?

There we are, thank you very much indeed.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair we have to say goodbye to,

I'm so sorry!

Carol, lovely to have you here for twice as long as normal.

-Yeah, I know! A privilege!

-But I'm afraid this is where we have to say goodbye. Charlotte,

it's great to have you here for the first time. Please both come back and play again.

-It's been wonderful to have you here. Charlotte and Carol.

-Thank you.

-Bye.

But for John and Dave, Stanley and Rachel,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, John and Dave, Stanley and Rachel.

You're now one step closer to the final, and the chance to play for

our jackpot, which currently stands at £2,750.

So, at this point,

we have to decide who's going to go through to the final and play for

that jackpot. And we do it by making you go head-to-head,

but the big difference is, you're now allowed to confer,

so you can start playing as a team.

You can chat before you give your answers -

first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot for

their charities. Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head!

Here is your first question, and it concerns...

Yeah, we're going to play you extracts now from five songs which

contain lyrics about falling in love.

All you have to do is tell us the act or the artist you are

listening to, please. Very best of luck.

OK, let's hear our five excerpts, and here they come.

We have got A...

# And your girlfriend agreed

# That falling in love is so hard on your knees

# Chip off the old block, man, You're so much like your sister... #

Here's B...

# Ever fallen in love with someone

# Ever fallen in love In love with someone

# Ever fallen in love In love with someone

# You shouldn't have fallen in love with

# Ever fallen in love with someone

# Ever fallen in love

# In love with someone

# Ever fallen in love

# In love with someone

# You shouldn't have fallen in love with... #

Here's C...

# When I fall in love

# It will be forever

# Or I'll never fall in love... #

Here is D...

# Wise men say

# Only fools rush in

# But I can't help

# Falling in love with you... #

And here is E...

# Fall in love

# No, I'm never gonna fall in love... #

OK. Now, John and Dave, which of those would you like to go for?

Er, B - Buzzcocks.

Buzzcocks. Buzzcocks, say John and Dave.

For B. Now, then, Stanley and Rachel.

I think C was Bing Crosby?

C - Bing Crosby.

So, we have Buzzcocks, and we have Bing Crosby for C.

Now, then, John and Dave said Buzzcocks for B.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Buzzcocks.

It's right.

-20.

-That's all right.

20 for Buzzcocks.

Now, Stanley and Rachel have said Bing Crosby for C.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Bing Crosby.

-Ooh, bad luck.

-Oh, no!

Bad luck. Not Bing Crosby.

But, John and Dave, very well done.

After one question, you're up 1-0.

Yeah, not Bing Cosby. A...

Let's have a little listen.

MUSIC PLAYS

..Was Falling In Love Is Hard On The Knees by Aerosmith.

A for Aerosmith. That would have scored you nine points.

C was not Bing Crosby, but it was...

MUSIC PLAYS

..Nat King Cole. There's a C for you.

And that would have scored you 41.

-D...

-D was Elvis.

..was Elvis, of course it was.

Yep. And Elvis would have scored you 71 points.

MUSIC PLAYS

Now, E is an interesting one.

Let's have a little listen to E.

MUSIC PLAYS

Now, this was written by Lonnie Donegan, this song, and it was sung by...

-Tom Jones.

-Tom Jones, yeah.

And it was the best answer on the

board, would have scored eight points.

There we are. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So here comes your second question.

Stanley and Rachel, you get to answer this one first.

But you have to win this one to stay in the game.

So, very best of luck. Our second question today is all about...

Yeah, five pictures now of skyscrapers that were completed in

the 21st century. We need the name of the city where you would find these skyscrapers.

-We have given you the initials of the cities as well. Good luck.

-OK.

Let's reveal our five skyscrapers, and here they come.

We have got...

There we are. Five 21st-century skyscrapers.

Stanley and Rachel, you will go first.

THEY WHISPER

It's a city, do you see?

OK. E.

Had some problems, but I think we're going to go for Dubai.

-Which is...?

-Number E.

OK, E, Dubai. E, Dubai,

say Stanley and Rachel. Now, John and Dave.

I think we should go for Madrid.

We'll take a guess. We don't think we can win with A or B,

so will guess at C and Madrid.

C, Madrid.

So we have Dubai and Madrid.

Stanley and Rachel have gone for Dubai for E.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

It is Dubai.

50 for Dubai.

Now, John and Dave have said Madrid for C. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Madrid.

No.

Not Madrid. Very well done, Stanley and Rachel.

That's exactly what you needed to do. You're back in the game. It's 1-1 after two questions.

Yeah, well played. Had to take the risk though, gents,

but lots of cities that fit that description. The M and then the blanks there.

Let's take a look through all the answers first.

L, of course, stands for London.

What do you think that scored?

Um... Really?

Yeah. 73.

Amazing, isn't it?

That's The Shard. Now B is, of course, New York.

That's a bigger score because of the letters there.

That would have scored...

Now let's clear up this third one.

The Shard was the tallest building in Europe until this, which is the

Mercury City Tower, and it's not in Madrid, it's not in Munich,

-it's not in Mordor...

-It's not in Mumbai?

It's not in Manila, it's not in Mumbai.

-Moscow.

-It's in Moscow.

And would have scored two points.

So, gents, you went for Madrid.

Actually, you would be in the final now if, for D, you had gone

just up the road and said Barcelona.

Would have scored you 15 points.

Goodness me. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Here comes your third question. This is the decider.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final.

Best of luck to both pairs.

Our third question is all about...

LAUGHTER

We are going to show you five clues now to facts about Freddie Mercury.

Whichever team gives us the most obscure answer is going through to

play for that jackpot, so very best of luck, both teams.

Thank you very much. Let's reveal our five clues.

We have got...

I shall read those again.

There we are, John and Dave, to you first.

I think... Found overlooking this lake, it's got to be that...

Well, I believe they call it Lake Lemon,

over there. But it's Lake Geneva.

OK, you are going to say Lake Geneva.

-Go for that?

-I've no idea.

Yes, Lake Geneva say John and Dave.

Now, Stanley and Rachel, the board is all yours.

Thinking out loud, I do spend a lot of time

in East Africa.

I do indeed remember when Tasmania was Tasmania,

and Zanzibar was Zanzibar.

But then they joined.

Tasmania, not Tanzania, you mean Tanzania?

Yeah, I always get it muddled. Yeah, sometimes I went off to Tanzania...

Are you confident with this answer?

My answer is that the island is called Zanzibar.

Zanzibar, so we have Lake Geneva and we have Zanzibar.

John and Dave have gone for Lake Geneva.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said it.

-It's right.

-Come on, come on.

-26.

-Not bad, not bad.

26 for Lake Geneva.

Stanley and Rachel, meanwhile, have gone for Zanzibar.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many of our 100 people said

Zanzibar.

It is Zanzibar.

Oh, 34 for Zanzibar.

Which means, very well done indeed, John and Dave.

After three questions, you are through to the final - 2-1.

Yeah, Zanzibar is the biggest answer on the board,

funnily enough. Let's fill all of them in.

The decade he was born, what would you guess that?

'50s...? '40s.

-No. Really?

-Yeah, 1946 he was born in.

Yeah.

28 points for that.

The title of his first solo album, this is the best answer on the board.

He dedicated it to his cats, and it was called Mr Bad Guy.

That would have scored six points.

And the opera singer...?

Erm... Montserrat...?

Montserrat Caballe.

And that would have scored you 20 points.

-Very well done if you said that.

-Thank you very much indeed.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round, I'm afraid, it's Stanley and Rachel.

A fantastic performance, and very hard-fought head-to-head there,

but please come and play again.

It's been great having you here.

Thank you so much. Stanley and Rachel.

APPLAUSE

But for John and Dave, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, John and Dave,

you have fought off all the competition and you have won our

coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well, what can I say?

Well done. As always, you get to choose your category for this round,

from four that we will put up on the board behind me.

Let's have a look at today's selection and see what's up there.

We have got...

-I think D's in geography.

-It's going to be D's in geography?

-Yeah.

-OK. All right.

-OK, D's in geography it is.

Yeah, very best of luck. A good chance here,

and I think lots of people at home will have a good chance on this as

well. We are looking for any of the following that contain a letter D,

anywhere in their names.

Does not have to begin with D, just D anywhere in the name.

We are looking for any country of the world,

as always, a country means a sovereign state that is a member of the UN in

its own right. The English names of the capital cities of any of those

countries of the world, please,

that contain a letter D.

Any of the official UK cities that contain a D, anywhere in the name.

So, countries of the world, capital cities of the world, or UK cities.

Any of which have a D anywhere in their name.

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed.

As always, you have up to one minute to come up with three answers,

and all you need to win that jackpot for your charities is for just one

of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-As we'll ever be, Xander!

-Yes.

-Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are.

Your time starts now.

-Well, uh...

-Can we do it...

-Do we whisper, or do we...?

-You can do it like that.

Chad. Chad, is of course a very good one.

That's quite well-known. UK cities, what's that one that has just become a city?

Lichfield ends in a D.

-Lichfield is a town.

-Is it?

-It's got a cathedral.

-Oh.

-So I think it might be...

-Saint David's is a city.

-Is it?

-Yes.

-Yes?

-Yeah, yeah.

No, it's in Wales. It's the smallest city in Britain.

-Oh, all right.

-Saint David's.

-Unless, of the 100 people,

about 12 of them are Welsh, in which case...

Well, Saint David's.

Lichfield. We can go for any of the categories.

-And Chad.

-Shall we do that?

-Yes.

-OK.

-Are you happy with those?

-That's lasted a minute.

-What's Djibouti?

D-J...

Uh, is that a country?

I don't know. A city or a country, I can't remember what it is.

-It's not a country.

-OK, well...

-Go on.

-No, no, I don't know which it is.

-Ten seconds...

-Say it again.

-Djibouti.

Djibouti, that's not a country, it's a city.

I don't know. I genuinely don't know.

It's just a thing. Let's stick with what we said.

All right.

OK, that's your time up, I now need your three answers.

What are you going to go for? And if you say which category in each case.

-We would like two from the UK cities.

-Yup.

-Lichfield.

-Lichfield.

Which I don't believe is a city, but.

It does have a cathedral.

Well, it must be, then. And Saint David's.

-And Saint David's.

-That's in the UK, yes, Wales.

OK.

And what's your third answer going to be?

A country, Chad.

Chad. Of those three, which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Shall we put Chad first?

-Chad first.

Then Lichfield, then Saint David's.

I think Saint David's is very good.

-Brilliant.

-Great.

OK, we will put those up on the board in that order, then. And here they are.

We have got...

Well, very, very best of luck. Three great answers on the board there.

Let's hope at least one of those is pointless.

And if one of those is pointless,

it will win that jackpot for you to share between your nominated

charities. What are your charities, John?

Mine is the MS Trust.

-Dave, how about you?

-Mine is Shelter.

-The homeless charity.

-There we are.

APPLAUSE

Two fantastic charities there.

Let's hope at least one of these answers wins that jackpot, for you

split between them. So your first answer was Chad.

In this case we were looking for any country that contains the letter D.

Only one of these answers has to be pointless, for you to win the jackpot,

let's see if Chad is the one.

If it is pointless, it wins you £2,750.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it, Chad.

Well, it's right.

Now all it has to do is take us down to zero and it will win you that

jackpot. Down it goes, Chad.

Through the teens, into single figures, still going down..

..to two.

Not bad.

No, it's a fantastic answer. Sadly, in this round,

we're only interested in pointless answers.

Everything is now riding on your next two answers,

Lichfield being the first of those.

In this case, we were looking for any city in the UK containing a D.

Lichfield. It has to be right, then it has to be pointless.

If it's both of those things,

you will leave with £2,750 for your charities.

How many people said Lichfield? Is it a city?

It is a city!

HE LAUGHS

Lichfield is a city. Now, your first answer, Chad, took us down to two,

Lichfield now takes us down through the teens, into single figures,

down it goes, still going down, we are past two...

Yes!

CHEERING

Very well done.

-Fantastic.

-Beautiful.

-Well done.

Can't believe it, can't believe it.

Very well done.

Congratulations, Lichfield was a pointless answer,

which means you go home with that jackpot of £2,750 for your charities.

Superb.

CHEERING

That's why you're...

-Yes.

-Beautifully done, very well played, gents.

Plenty of places with cathedrals aren't cities, but Lichfield is a city.

Saint David's also a city, and would have scored you five points.

ALL GASP

Pretty big score, Saint David's. Lots of good pointless answers here, let's go through a few of them.

Start with countries. All of these would have won the jackpot.

Well done at home if you said...

You could have said all these, pointless as well -

Antigua and Barbuda, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Cabo Verde, Cote d'Ivoire,

St Kitts and Nevis, St Vincent and the Grenadines,

Solomon Islands, and United Arab Emirates, all of those were pointless answers.

We will move on now to the capitals.

Baghdad, which is Iraq.

Kathmandu, Nepal, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.

Windhoek, Namibia.

You also could have had Ashgabat, Dili, Damascus, Islamabad, Mogadishu,

Vaduz and Yaounde, all of those pointless answers as well.

Well done if you said any of those. Now, only three pointless answers on

the UK cities, which is where you found your pointless answer,

so very impressive. Those were the other two.

Brighton and Hove, very well done if you got that.

And Salford, the other pointless answer.

Well, thanks once again to our winning players, John and Dave,

who go away with today's jackpot of £2,750 for their charities. Superb.

CHEERING

Join us next time, when we will be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.