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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong

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and welcome to this special comedy edition of Pointless Celebrities,

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the show where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.

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Let's meet today's Pointless celebrities.

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APPLAUSE

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-Couple number one.

-I'm Hugh Dennis.

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I'm in Mock The Week and Outnumbered and Not Going Out,

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-which you have also been in, of course.

-I have.

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My name is Pauline McLynn.

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I'm an incredibly pointless person and I have a feeling that, today,

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I'm just going to, well, you know,

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be very strong but wrong on everything.

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-Strong but wrong.

-That's my plan. It's a game plan, yeah.

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APPLAUSE

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Couple number two.

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I'm Jean Fergusson, Marina from Last Of The Summer Wine,

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-the blousy blonde.

-LAUGHTER

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I'm Tine Malone from Shameless and Brookside, to name but a few,

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and it's probably pointless me being here.

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LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

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-Couple number three.

-Hello, I'm Adil Ray.

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You may know me as Citizen Khan, but I don't have the beard.

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It allows me to get through airports a lot easier.

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And I'm with my partner, Charlie.

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-We've been together how long now, Charlie?

-20 years.

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20 years, that's right, yeah.

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Yeah, I'm Charlie Higson, and I'm wearing his beard.

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LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

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And, finally, couple number four.

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I'm Vicki Michelle, probably best known for 'Allo 'Allo!

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And I've just finished playing Marilyn Monroe,

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who escaped from America

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and has been living in Essex, as a 76-year-old grandmother.

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I'm Richard Gibson.

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I'm an actor and I appeared for years and years

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in 'Allo 'Allo(!) with Vicki Michelle.

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APPLAUSE Thanks very much, all of you.

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We'll find out more about you as the show goes along.

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That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

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A true marvel of minutiae in every department except his shoe size,

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it's my Pointless friend, Richard.

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-APPLAUSE

-Hiya. Hey, everybody. Good evening.

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-Good evening to you.

-And to you, Richard.

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Now, this is going to be a very high-quality episode,

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I think, of Pointless Celebrities.

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Look at the track record of the people who've been on before.

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Vicki's been on before, got through to the head-to-head.

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And then, on podium three, we've got Adil,

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who not only got through to the head-to-head,

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he made it through to the final as well. He's played a jackpot.

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And he's with Charlie, who not only got through to the head-to-head

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and made it to the jackpot, he WON the jackpot as well.

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So, very best of luck, I would say, to podiums one and two,

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but I suspect it's going to be a good round, all round.

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Proper old-school classic Pointless to start with.

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Lovely. Thank you very much, Richard.

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As usual, all of today's questions have been put to 100 people

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before the show.

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Our celebrities here are looking for

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those all-important pointless answers,

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answers that none of our 100 people gave.

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Find one of those and we will add £250 to the jackpot.

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As today's show is a celebrity special,

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all our celebrities are playing for a nominated charity,

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we shall start off with a jackpot of £2,500. There we are.

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APPLAUSE

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Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

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APPLAUSE

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The only thing you have to remember is the pair with the highest score

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at the end of each round will be eliminated,

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so you just have to make sure you are not that high-scoring pair.

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Best of luck. Our first category this evening is...

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It's a Words round.

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Can you decide in your pairs who's going first and who's going second.

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Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

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We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

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Words ending "OY". Richard.

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We're looking for any word which has its own entry in the British

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and World English section of oxforddictionaries.com

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that ends "OY".

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As always, no proper nouns, no hyphenated words,

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-anything like that. Very best of luck.

-Thank you, Richard.

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-Now, Pauline, it's lovely to have you here.

-I'm delighted to be here.

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-Terrified but delighted.

-You needn't be terrified.

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-You need not be terrified.

-Oh, I need.

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-You have written ten novels, Pauline!

-Yes, I know.

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It sounds like a big lie, doesn't it?

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How do you find the time to do that?

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I don't know, cos I am on number 11 at the moment

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-and it's going very badly indeed.

-Really?

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But I think the horror of having been on this show today

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-will, in fact, start me.

-Has that cleared the block?

-Yeah, I feel...

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You'll now have the strength to go on, go on, go on...

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-Oh, no!

-LAUGHTER

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-Now, Pauline.

-Yes.

-Shall we find out if this word is a good'un?

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All right. I'm going to go for "saveloy".

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"Saveloy". "Saveloy".

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Let's see if it's right and how many of our 100 people said it.

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That's a good answer, I think, Pauline. "Saveloy".

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It's 4!

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-Come on!

-An excellent start to the game. Thank you, Pauline.

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-4 for saveloy.

-That's a great answer, Pauline, well done.

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Very hard to be on that first podium

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with these Words rounds sometimes. Yeah, a red, cured pork sausage.

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Thank you, Richard.

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Jean, welcome to the show. It's lovely to have you here.

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Last Of The Summer Wine...

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It must have been such a well-run machine.

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-Everything must have been fabulous.

-It was.

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Although, funnily enough, towards the end -

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because I was always the one in the low-cut blouse

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and the mini skirt or the shorts -

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when I got, shall we say, a little bit older,

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it wasn't quite the same, getting all dressed up in the morning

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in a pair of little mini shorts and a very low-cut blouse!

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-But we battled through.

-You battled through.

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-Got on the bike and off we went.

-Into the bath, down we came.

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Now, Jean, "saveloy" has gone, but there must be others.

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I hope this is spelt right.

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-"Hoipolloy".

-"Hoipolloy".

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We hope that is spelt right. Let's see if it is.

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How many of our 100 people said "hoipolloy"?

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Oh, Jean!

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I'm afraid that ISN'T spelt correctly.

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That scores you 100 points. I'm sorry.

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It may well not be the last 100-pointer in this round.

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I'm sorry, Jean. It's a lovely word.

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It's two words, "hoi polloi", and they both end "OI",

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I'm afraid, not "OY".

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-Charlie, welcome back to Pointless.

-Great for me to be here.

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You've worn many hats in your Pointless appearances.

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-You're wearing your comedy hat - invisible, but comedy hat.

-Yes.

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Cos you do lots now.

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You produce, you write, you've done wonderful adaptations...

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Yeah, I write books, I write TV, I write kids' books.

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-I'm actually thinking of taking on quite a big acting job.

-Ah.

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Because I'd quite like to do something

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where I don't have to take full responsibility.

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That's true. Writing is tough.

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Charlie, what would you like to go for?

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I wish I had a really clever obscure word,

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particularly because I'm supposed to be a writer, but I don't, really.

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-I'm simply going to say "ploy".

-"Ploy".

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Let's see if that gets you far down the column.

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How many of our 100 people said "ploy"?

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40. Tactically perfect, Charlie. APPLAUSE

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-40 for "ploy".

-Yeah, a cunning plan or action - a "ploy".

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Also Brummie for "play", as well.

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-LAUGHTER

-No, it's not, mate!

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-Shakespeare was a ploywright.

-Absolutely.

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-Richard, welcome to the show.

-Thank you.

-Great to have you here.

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The story always went that David Croft,

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when he cast you in 'Allo 'Allo(!), he'd seen you at a wedding,

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he'd overheard you telling gags at a wedding. Is that right?

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Very tasteless German jokes.

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And I saw him conferring with his wife

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and I thought they were actually saying,

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"Can we get someone to throw this person out for the tasteless jokes?"

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And, actually, what they were saying was, "He can do a German accent."

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And that was it? So, he came up and said, "I've got a part for you."

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I can't even really do a German accent, that was the joke.

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Fabulous. Richard, what would you like to go for?

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I'm going to take a punt on "sepoy".

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-Punt in what sense?

-Well, I THINK it's a word.

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It's a kind of Indian soldier from the 19th century, would it be?

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"Sepoy". Sounds good to me.

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Let's see how far down the column we get with "sepoy".

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It's right. Now, 4 is our lowest score so far. 40's our mid score.

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You pass that.

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Ooh, you pass 4 as well, down to 2 for "sepoy".

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That's how you do it, Richard. Very well done indeed.

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That's a terrific answer. Very well played.

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And you're absolutely right with the definition.

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It's an Indian soldier, but when they were serving under British

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or colonial or European rulers, they were called sepoys.

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Thanks. We're halfway through the round. Let's look at those scores.

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2, Richard, the best score of that pass.

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Well done. Richard and Vicki looking very strong at this point.

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Then up to 4, ditto, Pauline and Hugh,

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on the back of Pauline's lovely low score at the beginning of the round.

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40 is where we find Charlie and Adil. Fairly safe, I think.

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Then we've go up to 100, where we find Jean and Tina.

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So, Tina, a lovely low-scoring word ending "OY"

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might just be enough to keep you in the game.

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We'll have to see what happens in the next pass, but best of luck.

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Can the second players please step up to the podium?

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OK, so, Vicki, welcome back.

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-Thank you.

-Great to have you here.

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Now then, 'Allo 'Allo! You toured that, didn't you?

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There was a live version of it.

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We went all over the country.

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I think that's when we first realised how popular we were

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because it was 2,000-seaters and it would be packed. It was fabulous.

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We took it to Australia and New Zealand

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and they loved it there.

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I think we sold to about 80 countries.

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-So, that must have been a bit like a holiday, really.

-Well, it was.

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-Extended holiday.

-And I was working with people like Richard Gibson,

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who's like a naughty schoolboy and used to do jolly japes.

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-Not true!

-So true!

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So we did have fun. It was a fantastic time, yeah.

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Now, Vicki, you're on 2.

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If you can score 97 or less, you're definitely in the next round.

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Right, I think I'm going to go for "overjoy".

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Let's see if "overjoy" is right and how many of our 100 people said it.

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There is your red line. "Overjoy".

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It's right.

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-1.

-I don't believe it.

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-Yes!

-The best score so far, Vicki,

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taking your total up to 3. Well done.

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Very well played, Vicki. "Overjoy" - an excess of joy.

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There we are. Adil, welcome back.

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Now, you and Charlie - Charlie gave you your first break, didn't he?

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Oh, don't start! Yes, he did, he did. He did, actually, yes.

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Citizen Khan appeared in a show called Bellamy's People,

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which Charlie and Paul produced and directed

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and very kindly gave me my chance.

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And now you're doing an arena tour.

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Are you going to have a huge screen above stage, I guess?

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We're just going to show two episodes of the show, yes.

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-That's the idea.

-You don't even need to be there, really.

-Exactly.

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Adil, you're on 40.

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The high-scorers still Tina and Jean on 100,

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so 59 or less gets you through.

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I'm going to go with "coy".

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"Coy", says Adil. Here's your red line.

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If you get below that with "coy",

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you're in the next round.

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How many of our 100 people said "coy"?

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Good enough. There we are.

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-Not bad.

-87 is your total. APPLAUSE

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That's a couple of professional Pointless contestants. Look at that.

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In a lot of ways, that's sickening, what the two of you have done there.

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There we go.

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-Tina, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Lovely to have you here.

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Shameless, you mentioned earlier.

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But you also have your own theatre school, don't you?

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Yes...

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Two of my students - one was Nicola in Girls Aloud

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and another girl, at 23 years of age,

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was nominated for a BAFTA.

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Kerrie Hayes, who I taught from scratch.

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-I just met her in a bar, so...

-Fabulous.

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-Well, good for you, Tina.

-Thank you.

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I'm afraid you are the high-scorers, though,

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so we need a low score from you. What would you like to go for?

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-I'm going to go for "boy".

-"Boy".

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-B-O-Y.

-The B-O-Y.

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-I'm going to be safe.

-OK, very good.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said B-O-Y, "boy".

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It's right. Ooh, 86,

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taking your total up to 186 there.

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Yeah, that is safe. It's better than 100,

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-at least that's something.

-There we are.

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Hugh, welcome to the show.

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-I can't believe you haven't been on Pointless before.

-No.

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This fits you like a comfortable, bespoke coat.

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I thought you were going to say cardigan

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-and I was going to get very upset.

-No! Hugh, you started off...

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Well, one of your early successes

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-was as one of the voices on Spitting Image.

-Yeah.

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Who were the characters you did?

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They're all dead or retired now. I did Norman Lamont...

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I got the Archbishop of Canterbury.

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John Cole, I did, but I took over that from...

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I think Chris Barrie had done that to start with.

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And I did Douglas Hurd in a voice which I completely copied

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from Harry Enfield, who'd done it for about six series before then.

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-Now, Hugh, you're through, which is good news.

-Yeah.

-You are through.

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Doesn't matter what you score here. What is your word going to be?

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Well, the words I'm trying to choose between are "soy",

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which I don't think many people would get, "deploy",

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which could be interesting, but I'm going to go for "tallboy".

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"Tallboy", says Hugh. No red line, as you're already through.

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How many people said, "tallboy"? Is it right?

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It's right.

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-2!

-Oh, 2!

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APPLAUSE

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Not bad at all.

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I just didn't know so many

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Victorian furniture enthusiasts watched the programme.

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-You'd be surprised.

-What curmudgeon said "tallboy"?

-6 is your total.

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-Very well done.

-Very good answer.

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An obscure piece of Victorian furniture.

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That's the definition.

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There's loads of good pointless answers here.

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A lot of the words with "boy" on the end are not hyphenated,

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so there's lots words here that people might have not risked.

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Let's look at the pointless answers.

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You could have had "attaboy".

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"Charpoy" is, again, one of those permanent markers in Birmingham.

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-You could have had...

-LAUGHTER

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You could have had "corduroy" - well done if you said that.

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Well done if you said any of those.

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We had "ploy" and, Hugh, you were thinking of "deploy",

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but "redeploy" would have been a pointless answer.

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-"Teapoy" is a broken teapot.

-LAUGHTER

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You also could have had ploughboy, busboy and homeboy.

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Would have been a lovely one.

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Let's take a look at the top-three scorers,

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the ones most of our 100 people said.

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Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So, at the end of our first round,

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the pair we have to send home, with our high score of 186,

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-Tina and Jean, I'm sorry, it's you.

-OK.

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Come and play again.

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Sorry we're sending you away so soon, but thank you so much.

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-Wonderful contestants.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

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APPLAUSE

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But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

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APPLAUSE

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Now, we're down to three pairs and at the end of this round,

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we'll have to say goodbye to another pair. Richard and Vicki, well done.

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-A low score of 3!

-Fluke.

-Thank you.

-No fluke, no fluke there.

0:16:430:16:48

And Pauline and Hugh, 6.

0:16:480:16:50

And our two returning winners, 87, so there we are.

0:16:500:16:56

Best of luck to all three pairs.

0:16:560:16:57

Our category for Round Two this evening is...

0:16:570:17:00

It's Song Titles.

0:17:020:17:03

Can you decide in your pairs who's going first, who's going second

0:17:030:17:06

and whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

0:17:060:17:09

OK, the question concerns...

0:17:120:17:16

-Songs with cities in their title. Richard.

-On each board,

0:17:190:17:22

we're going to show you the titles of six songs

0:17:220:17:24

that were UK hit singles that have cities in their title,

0:17:240:17:27

but we have missed out those cities.

0:17:270:17:29

Tell us what the cities are.

0:17:290:17:31

Six on each board, 12 in all to have a go at home.

0:17:310:17:34

-Good luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

0:17:340:17:36

We are looking for the missing cities from these song titles

0:17:360:17:39

and here's our first board of six.

0:17:390:17:41

I'll read those one last time.

0:18:020:18:03

-Pauline.

-Right.

-Now, that's not too bad a selection.

0:18:180:18:21

It's all right, but, you know,

0:18:210:18:23

they all look like they might be high-scoring ones to me.

0:18:230:18:26

So, I think I'll go for the Marc Cohn song, Walking In Memphis.

0:18:260:18:30

Memphis, says Pauline. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Memphis.

0:18:300:18:35

It's right.

0:18:380:18:39

53. APPLAUSE

0:18:420:18:44

53, but as you say,

0:18:440:18:46

-they might all be high-scorers.

-Such a well-known song, isn't it?

0:18:460:18:49

-Only got to number 22 in the chart.

-Really?

0:18:490:18:52

And even Cher's cover version didn't get to top ten either.

0:18:520:18:55

-Wow, but it's never left the playlists, has it?

-No, absolutely.

0:18:550:18:59

-Now, Adil.

-Oh!

0:18:590:19:02

I only know the obvious one, I'm afraid

0:19:020:19:05

so I'll go with Tony Christie, Is This The Way To Amarillo?

0:19:050:19:08

Amarillo, says Adil. Let's see how many of our 100 people got Amarillo.

0:19:080:19:13

Oh, 83 for Amarillo.

0:19:170:19:20

Well, it's better than 100.

0:19:200:19:22

It's in the northern part of Texas, Amarillo,

0:19:220:19:24

so depending on where you start, that's where you've got to get to.

0:19:240:19:28

Right. Thank you very much.

0:19:280:19:30

Now, Richard...

0:19:300:19:32

OK, well, there's one that's very obvious,

0:19:320:19:36

but there's another one - In Old Amsterdam.

0:19:360:19:41

In Old Amsterdam. Let's find out if it's right

0:19:410:19:45

and how many of our 100 people said Amsterdam.

0:19:450:19:48

-Oh, no!

-Oh, no!

-Oh, no!

-Sorry, Vicks.

0:19:500:19:54

Not Amsterdam.

0:19:540:19:56

It's one of the other old places.

0:19:560:19:58

I'm afraid that scores you 100 points,

0:19:580:20:00

but you're not that far ahead of your nearest rivals.

0:20:000:20:03

Yeah, three very big scores in that round.

0:20:030:20:05

Slightly less redolent. This one is slightly less poetic.

0:20:050:20:08

-It's In Old Lisbon.

-Oh, no.

0:20:080:20:10

And it's a pointless answer, as you might imagine.

0:20:100:20:14

Now, let's fill in the rest of these. Long-haired Lover From Liverpool.

0:20:140:20:18

That's a big scorer.

0:20:180:20:20

From Paris... They're a Danish pop duo.

0:20:200:20:23

From Paris To Berlin by Infernal.

0:20:230:20:25

-And Night Boat...?

-Cairo.

-To Cairo by Madness.

0:20:260:20:31

Thank you, Richard. We're halfway through the round.

0:20:310:20:34

Let's look at the scores. 53, the best score of the pass.

0:20:340:20:36

Pauline and Hugh sitting pretty there.

0:20:360:20:39

And then 83 is where we find Adil and Charlie.

0:20:390:20:43

And then up to 100, where we find Richard and Vicki.

0:20:430:20:47

So, not that far ahead.

0:20:470:20:48

Vicki, a good low score from you on the next board will seal your place

0:20:480:20:51

in the head-to-head, so best of luck with that.

0:20:510:20:54

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

0:20:540:20:57

Let's put six more song titles up on the board with missing cities.

0:20:590:21:03

And here they come.

0:21:030:21:05

I shall read all of those again.

0:21:240:21:26

-Vicki.

-Oh!

-I know.

0:21:420:21:45

-I know.

-Er...

0:21:450:21:47

Well, I think, the only one I know

0:21:470:21:49

is Loco In Acapulco.

0:21:490:21:52

Loco In Acapulco, says Vicki. No red line for you,

0:21:520:21:55

as you're the high-scorers. Let's see if that's right

0:21:550:21:57

and how far down the column you get with Acapulco.

0:21:570:22:00

-It's right.

-Yes! Fabulous.

0:22:020:22:05

It's right. 59.

0:22:050:22:07

APPLAUSE 159 is your total.

0:22:070:22:11

You might have kept yourself in the game, Vicki.

0:22:110:22:14

Written by Lamont Dozier and Phil Collins, that song.

0:22:140:22:17

There you go. Thank you, Richard. Charlie.

0:22:170:22:20

Now, Charlie, you need

0:22:200:22:22

-to score 75 or less.

-Yeah.

0:22:220:22:24

There's only one on there that I know.

0:22:240:22:26

I'm going to have to say that one. Um... It's a rubbish one,

0:22:260:22:30

but I'm going to go for Viva Las Vegas.

0:22:300:22:32

Viva Las Vegas, says Charlie.

0:22:320:22:34

Here is your red line. Quite high up.

0:22:340:22:36

Get below that, you are through to the next round.

0:22:360:22:38

How many people said Las Vegas?

0:22:380:22:40

-Oh!

-Look at that! 83.

0:22:430:22:45

Well, that's nice. APPLAUSE

0:22:450:22:48

You have equalled Adil's score,

0:22:480:22:50

so you are jointly shouldering the responsibility

0:22:500:22:53

for your early exit there. 166 is your total.

0:22:530:22:57

Viva Las Vegas, another song that's not a top-ten hit.

0:22:570:23:00

Been a top-20 hit twice, but not a top ten.

0:23:000:23:03

Thanks very much, Richard. Hugh,

0:23:030:23:05

you're through to the next round. It doesn't matter what you score.

0:23:050:23:08

Hugh, talk us through this board

0:23:080:23:10

and fill in all the blanks.

0:23:100:23:12

A lot of them are sort of bluffs, I think.

0:23:120:23:15

Cos you want to go London Calling and Hotel California,

0:23:150:23:19

but California is not a city.

0:23:190:23:22

So, I'm going to go for London

0:23:220:23:24

because I think it's wrong but it sort of doesn't matter.

0:23:240:23:29

-Thank you.

-There we are.

0:23:290:23:31

London Calling by Falco. No red line, you're already through.

0:23:310:23:35

Let's see how many people said London.

0:23:350:23:38

-Well, I knew it was wrong.

-There you are.

0:23:390:23:42

Had it confirmed, so that's nice, you were right, as well as wrong.

0:23:420:23:45

Scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 153,

0:23:450:23:48

-but you are through anyway.

-Unlucky, Hugh.

0:23:480:23:50

Funnily, this WAS a top ten hit for Falco. It was Vienna Calling.

0:23:500:23:53

-I was going to say that.

-Were you? You'd have been right.

0:23:530:23:56

Vienna Calling. He was most famous for Rock Me Amadeus.

0:23:560:23:59

10 points for that. The George Ezra song?

0:23:590:24:02

-Budapest.

-Of course.

-Budapest.

0:24:020:24:05

That would have scored you 22. Stranger In...

0:24:050:24:09

-Moscow.

-In Moscow, yeah.

0:24:090:24:11

Would have scored 16.

0:24:110:24:13

And of course there's a city called California,

0:24:130:24:15

so Hotel California is the answer there. 82 points.

0:24:150:24:18

There we are. We're at the end of our second round.

0:24:180:24:21

The pair we're sending home... This wasn't in the script at all.

0:24:210:24:24

Charlie and Adil,

0:24:240:24:25

I'm afraid it's you we have to say goodbye to

0:24:250:24:28

-but please come back again, is all I can say.

-Will do.

0:24:280:24:30

Will do, with different partners, probably.

0:24:300:24:32

I dunno. But it's been brilliant having you on.

0:24:320:24:35

Thanks so much for playing. Charlie and Adil.

0:24:350:24:37

APPLAUSE

0:24:370:24:40

But for Hugh and Pauline, Richard and Vicki,

0:24:400:24:43

it's now time for our head-to-head.

0:24:430:24:45

APPLAUSE

0:24:450:24:47

Congratulations, Pauline, Hugh, Richard and Vicki.

0:24:480:24:52

You are now one step closer to the final and a chance

0:24:520:24:55

to play for our jackpot, which currently stands at £2,500.

0:24:550:24:59

APPLAUSE

0:24:590:25:02

So, this is the point where we decide who goes through to the final

0:25:020:25:06

to play for that jackpot and we do it by making you go head-to-head.

0:25:060:25:09

But you can now start playing as teams and confer.

0:25:090:25:12

The first pair to win two questions

0:25:120:25:14

will be playing for that jackpot, so best of luck to both pairs.

0:25:140:25:17

Let's play the head-to-head.

0:25:170:25:19

APPLAUSE

0:25:190:25:22

Here comes your first question and it concerns...

0:25:250:25:29

Film Royalty, Richard.

0:25:310:25:32

We're going to show you five pictures of fictional royalty.

0:25:320:25:36

You need to tell us the name of the film that each of these comes from.

0:25:360:25:39

Thanks very much indeed.

0:25:390:25:41

Let's reveal our five stills and here they come.

0:25:410:25:44

There we are. Five pictures of fictitious royal people.

0:26:080:26:13

Now, Pauline and Hugh, you've been our low-scorers

0:26:130:26:15

throughout the show so far, so you will go first. Feel free to confer.

0:26:150:26:18

-We're not going to be low-scorers now.

-No, I don't think.

-Believe me.

0:26:180:26:22

We think the Eddie Murphy movie is Coming To America.

0:26:220:26:27

Coming To America for C, say Pauline and Hugh.

0:26:270:26:30

Now then, Richard and Vicki, that board's all yours.

0:26:300:26:33

Do you want to talk us through all of the others?

0:26:330:26:35

-We think D is...

-We think D might be Frozen.

-B is Shrek.

0:26:350:26:40

And E could be Anastasia.

0:26:400:26:42

-I think it's Frozen for D, do you agree with me, Vicki?

-Yes.

0:26:420:26:47

-Is that what you'd like to go for?

-Yes.

-OK, D, Frozen.

0:26:470:26:50

So, we have C, Coming To America and D, Frozen.

0:26:500:26:53

Pauline and Hugh said Coming To America.

0:26:530:26:55

Let's see if that's right for Eddie Murphy.

0:26:550:26:57

It is right.

0:27:000:27:01

Well done. Well done. Oh, look at this.

0:27:010:27:05

It is right, look at that. 22. Very well done indeed.

0:27:050:27:07

Coming To America.

0:27:070:27:09

APPLAUSE

0:27:090:27:11

Now, Richard and Vicki, taking a bit of a punt, they think,

0:27:110:27:15

on D and saying Frozen.

0:27:150:27:17

Let's see if Frozen is right and how many of our 100 people said Frozen.

0:27:170:27:21

-Yep.

-Oh!

-It is unequivocally Frozen.

0:27:250:27:27

APPLAUSE

0:27:270:27:29

Very well done indeed, Pauline and Hugh.

0:27:290:27:31

After one question, you are up 1-0.

0:27:310:27:33

A, that everyone was having trouble with.

0:27:330:27:36

One of the best comedy films of all time.

0:27:360:27:38

-That is Prince Humperdinck from...

-The Princess Bride.

0:27:380:27:41

The Princess Bride, yeah. Wonderful film, if you haven't seen it.

0:27:410:27:44

3 points for that.

0:27:440:27:46

B is, of course, Princess Fiona from Shrek.

0:27:460:27:48

Shrek the answer there. Would have scored 69.

0:27:480:27:51

And E is Audrey Hepburn, of course,

0:27:510:27:54

but in a very early role. She won an Oscar for it,

0:27:540:27:56

-as Princess Ann in Roman Holiday.

-Ah.

0:27:560:27:58

Would have scored you 7 points.

0:27:580:28:00

So, Princess Bride is the best answer on that board.

0:28:000:28:03

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. OK, here comes your second question.

0:28:030:28:06

Richard and Vicki, you have to win this one to stay in the game

0:28:060:28:09

but you get to answer it first. Best of luck.

0:28:090:28:11

Our second question concerns...

0:28:110:28:13

Only Fools And Horses, Richard.

0:28:170:28:19

Five clues to facts about the sitcom Only Fools And Horses.

0:28:190:28:22

Whoever gives us the most obscure answer wins the point.

0:28:220:28:25

Now, of course, I COULD read out the questions for you

0:28:250:28:27

but why would we do that when we've got

0:28:270:28:29

John Challis and Sue Holderness here to read them for you?

0:28:290:28:32

Hi, there, Alexander and Richard.

0:28:340:28:37

Yes, hello, Alexander and Richard.

0:28:370:28:39

Borehamwood's answer to Laurel and Hardy.

0:28:390:28:42

LAUGHTER

0:28:420:28:44

Here are five questions about Only Fools And Horses.

0:28:440:28:49

Number one. Who is the character to whom Del Boy says,

0:28:490:28:53

"Play it nice and cool, son", before falling through the bar?

0:28:530:28:58

That's easy, that one, isn't it?

0:28:580:29:00

Who are the superheroes Del and Rodney are dressed as

0:29:000:29:04

when they attend a wake?

0:29:040:29:07

-Ooh, oh, yes.

-LAUGHTER

0:29:070:29:11

What is the name of the tower block in which Del lived?

0:29:110:29:15

-Everybody knows that.

-I think they've knocked it down.

0:29:150:29:17

-They should have done.

-LAUGHTER

0:29:170:29:20

What is the name that Trigger thinks Rodney is called

0:29:200:29:23

in the 1983 episode Homesick?

0:29:230:29:26

What is the name of Rodney's dodgy friend, played by Patrick Murray?

0:29:260:29:31

-TOGETHER:

-Good luck!

0:29:330:29:35

BOYCIE LAUGHS

0:29:350:29:38

APPLAUSE

0:29:380:29:40

I'm going to read those through one last time,

0:29:430:29:45

just to refresh your memory.

0:29:450:29:47

Richard and Vicki, we come to you.

0:30:000:30:02

Well, I think I know the second one

0:30:020:30:04

and I think the comic book heroes were...

0:30:040:30:06

They attended a wake as Batman and Robin.

0:30:060:30:10

Batman and Robin, say Richard and Vicki. Batman and Robin.

0:30:100:30:13

Now, Hugh and Pauline, can you talk us through the rest of that board?

0:30:130:30:18

We think it is Rodney who he talks to.

0:30:180:30:21

All I can remember is falling through the bar

0:30:210:30:24

-cos it's such a funny moment.

-You're going to say Rodney.

0:30:240:30:27

So we have Batman and Robin and we have Rodney.

0:30:270:30:29

Richard and Vicki went for Batman and Robin.

0:30:290:30:31

Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people said

0:30:310:30:33

those were the comic book heroes they were dressed as.

0:30:330:30:37

It's right.

0:30:380:30:41

77.

0:30:410:30:43

APPLAUSE

0:30:430:30:45

Pauline and Hugh reckon it was Rodney to whom Del Boy said,

0:30:450:30:49

"Play it cool, son", before falling through the bar.

0:30:490:30:51

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

0:30:510:30:54

-Ooh, bad luck.

-It was Trigger, wasn't it?

0:30:560:30:59

-An incorrect answer.

-Bet you.

0:30:590:31:01

But well done, Richard and Vicki.

0:31:010:31:03

After two questions, you're back in the game. It's 1-1.

0:31:030:31:06

The answer to the first one, not Rodney.

0:31:060:31:08

It WAS Trigger and if you'd said that, you'd be through to the final,

0:31:080:31:11

because it would have scored you 47 points.

0:31:110:31:13

The name of the tower block? Do you know that?

0:31:130:31:16

-Nelson Mandela House.

-Nelson Mandela House.

0:31:160:31:19

-The name by which Trigger usually calls Rodney?

-Dave.

0:31:210:31:24

It's Dave, absolutely right.

0:31:240:31:26

And the name of Rodney's dodgy friend?

0:31:260:31:28

This is the best answer on the board and it's Mickey Pearce.

0:31:280:31:31

-Well done if you said that at home.

-Thanks very much indeed.

0:31:330:31:35

Here comes your third question. Whoever wins this,

0:31:350:31:38

goes through to the final and plays for that jackpot.

0:31:380:31:40

Best of luck to both pairs.

0:31:400:31:42

Our third question this evening is all about...

0:31:420:31:44

Slang terms for police, Richard.

0:31:470:31:49

We're going to show you five slang terms for police,

0:31:490:31:51

but with alternate letters missing.

0:31:510:31:53

Fill in those gaps and give us the most obscure answer. Best of luck.

0:31:530:31:57

OK, let's reveal our five slang terms for police, with missing bits.

0:31:570:32:00

And here they are.

0:32:000:32:02

Hugh and Pauline will go first.

0:32:200:32:22

We think the fourth one...

0:32:230:32:26

-Yep.

-..is peelers.

0:32:260:32:28

Peelers, say Pauline and Hugh. Peelers.

0:32:280:32:31

-Now, Richard and Vicki, do you want to fill in all the other ones?

-Yeah.

0:32:310:32:34

Boys in blue.

0:32:340:32:37

Old Bill.

0:32:370:32:39

Flatfoots.

0:32:390:32:40

And bobbies.

0:32:400:32:42

-I think flatfoots, do you?

-Flatfoots.

0:32:420:32:44

-Flatfoots, you're going to go for. HUGH:

-And it's goodnight from us!

0:32:440:32:47

LAUGHTER

0:32:470:32:49

Now, Pauline and Hugh said peelers.

0:32:490:32:52

Let's see how many of our 100 people said peelers.

0:32:520:32:56

It's right.

0:32:560:32:59

46. Not bad at all. 46 for peelers.

0:33:010:33:04

APPLAUSE

0:33:040:33:06

Richard and Vicki, meanwhile, have gone for flatfoots.

0:33:070:33:10

Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people got that.

0:33:100:33:14

-It could be wrong.

-It's right.

0:33:140:33:17

Come on, come on.

0:33:170:33:19

And it beats 46. Look at that. There it is.

0:33:190:33:21

24 for flatfoots. APPLAUSE

0:33:210:33:23

Very well done, Richard and Vicki.

0:33:230:33:25

It means, after three questions, you are through to the final, 2-1.

0:33:250:33:28

-So it's best of five, right?

-LAUGHTER

0:33:280:33:31

Well played. Those are the best two answers on the board,

0:33:310:33:34

so well played, both teams.

0:33:340:33:35

Peelers named after Sir Robert Peel, as was the bottom answer, bobbies.

0:33:350:33:39

Both named after Robert Peel. That's a bigger score though.

0:33:390:33:42

Would have scored 80.

0:33:420:33:44

Boys in blue at the top there would have scored 69.

0:33:440:33:48

And Old Bill would have scored you 76.

0:33:480:33:52

There we are. Thank you, Richard.

0:33:520:33:54

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

0:33:540:33:56

I'm afraid, is Pauline and Hugh.

0:33:560:33:58

You'll just have to come back and play again.

0:33:580:34:00

-It's been wonderful having you both here.

-Thank you.

0:34:000:34:03

Thank you so much. Pauline and Hugh.

0:34:030:34:04

APPLAUSE

0:34:040:34:06

But for Richard and Vicki, it's now time for our Pointless final.

0:34:060:34:09

APPLAUSE

0:34:090:34:13

Congratulations, Richard and Vicki. You fought off all the competition

0:34:130:34:17

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:34:170:34:20

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot for your charities

0:34:250:34:28

and, at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £2,500.

0:34:280:34:34

APPLAUSE

0:34:340:34:36

Well done! We put you through your paces. We had Words ending "OY",

0:34:360:34:40

then we had missing cities from song titles, then we had film royalty,

0:34:400:34:45

-Only Fools And Horses...

-Police.

0:34:450:34:48

..and then finished off with the police. And here you are.

0:34:480:34:50

Now, you get to choose a category from four

0:34:500:34:54

that we'll put up on the board. Today's choices read like this.

0:34:540:34:57

-We can only have one, though, yes?

-You can only have one.

0:35:050:35:08

-Are you a boff at space?

-A little bit.

-OK, Space.

0:35:080:35:12

-I think that was probably the right...

-No responsibility there(!)

0:35:120:35:14

-I think that was the right answer.

-I think Richard's telling you

0:35:140:35:17

-he needs space, Vicki.

-Yeah, yeah.

-LAUGHTER

0:35:170:35:20

Three questions here. Hopefully, one of these suits you.

0:35:200:35:23

Three very different questions and very different areas.

0:35:230:35:26

We are looking for... any UK top-40 single

0:35:260:35:29

with the word "space" in the title, according to officialcharts.com.

0:35:290:35:33

That's up to January, 2016.

0:35:330:35:35

We're looking for anyone who's been a crew member

0:35:350:35:37

of the International Space Station,

0:35:370:35:39

anyone who's been on the 46 missions

0:35:390:35:42

up to the International Space Station. That ends December, 2015.

0:35:420:35:45

Or any actors in the original Star Trek TV show

0:35:450:35:49

that ran from 1966 to 1969.

0:35:490:35:50

Anyone who's appeared in three or more episodes

0:35:500:35:53

of the original Star Trek TV show. So...

0:35:530:35:56

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

0:36:010:36:04

As always, you've got up to one minute

0:36:040:36:06

to come up with three answers and all you need to win that jackpot

0:36:060:36:09

for your charities is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

0:36:090:36:12

-Are you ready?

-Well...yes.

0:36:120:36:15

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. Your time starts now.

0:36:150:36:19

-Space Oddity.

-Odyssey.

-You can speak up.

0:36:190:36:22

Um...

0:36:220:36:23

-Give Me Space... No.

-Crew of the International Space Station.

0:36:270:36:30

-Do you know any of those?

-No!

0:36:300:36:32

Everybody will know the Star Trek ones.

0:36:340:36:36

What about one of the old ones that landed on the moon?

0:36:360:36:38

That's not the International Space Station, though, is it?

0:36:380:36:41

Oh, OK. Actors in the original Star Trek. You've got Nimoy...

0:36:410:36:44

-William Shatner.

-Shatner. They're obvious.

-Who played Scotty?

0:36:440:36:48

Can't remember. Who played the Chinese one?

0:36:480:36:52

That was a different series. That was Uhura.

0:36:520:36:54

No, no, that was a different series, that was the new one.

0:36:540:36:57

You're talking about the original TV show.

0:36:570:37:00

And they'll ALL know those, won't they?

0:37:000:37:02

What about top 40 singles with "space" in the title? Oooh.

0:37:020:37:06

-Space Oddity.

-Ten seconds left.

-Isn't it Odyssey?

0:37:060:37:09

-Oddity, David Bowie.

-Is it?

-Yeah.

0:37:090:37:11

-But there's Space Odyssey.

-That's a film.

0:37:110:37:14

Go on, we've got two seconds. One second.

0:37:140:37:17

-OK, I now need to have your three answers.

-Oh!

0:37:170:37:23

-OK, one of them is Space Oddity.

-Space Oddity, OK.

0:37:230:37:27

And that's in the category of...

0:37:270:37:28

-I'm trying to think of another space one.

-Top-40 hit singles.

0:37:280:37:31

Thank you very much. So, Space Oddity.

0:37:310:37:33

-Actors in Star Trek. So, we've gone Leonard...

-Limoy... Leonard Nimoy.

0:37:330:37:38

-Nimoy.

-Leonard Nimoy.

0:37:380:37:40

-And William Shatner.

-And you'll go for William Shatner.

0:37:400:37:42

-But they're all obvious.

-Worst answer ever given

0:37:420:37:44

-in the history of this programme.

-I know.

-I know, but it is tough.

0:37:440:37:48

Anyway, of those three answers, which is your best shot

0:37:480:37:50

at a pointless answer? VICKI LAUGHS

0:37:500:37:52

-Do you want to put Space Oddity last?

-Yes.

0:37:520:37:55

-Least likely to be pointless?

-Toss-up between the two.

0:37:550:37:58

-Shall we put Shatner first?

-OK.

-I'm just guessing.

-Yeah.

0:37:580:38:01

You know it doesn't make any difference, that's why!

0:38:010:38:04

It makes little or no difference, but there we are.

0:38:040:38:06

Let's pop those answers on the board in that order and here they are.

0:38:060:38:10

We have got...

0:38:100:38:12

-Yes!

-We've just remembered a space song.

-Yes!

-Oh...

-Can we change it?

0:38:130:38:19

-No!

-Aretha Franklin.

-Oh, go on.

0:38:190:38:21

-What was the song? TOGETHER:

-Mr Spaceman.

0:38:210:38:24

-Well, let's find out at the end if that would have been pointless.

-Oh!

0:38:240:38:27

I'm afraid... I'm not afraid. We've got three lovely answers up there.

0:38:270:38:31

-I have a feeling...

-That they're not pointless.

-..they're all correct.

0:38:310:38:35

-Yes.

-Which charities are you playing for? Richard first.

0:38:350:38:40

I'm going for EIA, which is the Environmental Investigation Agency,

0:38:400:38:44

who are detectives and they're sort of environmental detectives

0:38:440:38:51

who go round investigating things like...

0:38:510:38:53

They started the thing about elephants and ivory.

0:38:530:38:56

There we are. Very good indeed. Vicki, how about you? What charity?

0:38:560:39:00

Wetnose charity, which supports a lot of animal charities

0:39:000:39:03

and the chap that was in charge recently passed away

0:39:030:39:06

and his wife has carried on. She was not going to carry on but she has

0:39:060:39:10

and they've helped so many animals, right across the board -

0:39:100:39:12

-dogs, horses, everything.

-Very good indeed. Two good charities there.

0:39:120:39:16

APPLAUSE

0:39:160:39:17

Let's hope that a collective amnesia descended on our 100 people.

0:39:170:39:22

-Can I just ask one thing?

-Yes.

0:39:220:39:24

Could you take that look of pity off your face?

0:39:240:39:26

-Please. And you.

-LAUGHTER

0:39:260:39:29

Your first answer was William Shatner. In this case,

0:39:290:39:31

we were looking for cast members of the original Star Trek TV show.

0:39:310:39:34

This has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot,

0:39:340:39:37

so for £2,500, let's see how many people said William Shatner.

0:39:370:39:41

It's right. Down it goes, through the 60s,

0:39:450:39:49

into the 50s. Into the 40s.

0:39:490:39:51

-46! Look at that!

-Ooh!

0:39:510:39:53

-Fabulous!

-There you go.

-That was good.

0:39:530:39:55

-APPLAUSE

-Not as bad as we thought.

0:39:550:39:58

Not bad at all. Unfortunately, not pointless,

0:39:580:40:00

which means you have two more shots at today's jackpot.

0:40:000:40:03

-Halfway pointless.

-Better than halfway.

0:40:030:40:05

Your next answer was Leonard Nimoy.

0:40:050:40:07

Once again, we were looking for cast members

0:40:070:40:09

of the original Star Trek TV show.

0:40:090:40:11

For £2,500, let's see how many people said Leonard Nimoy.

0:40:110:40:14

Down it comes. William Shatner took us down to 46.

0:40:170:40:21

Leonard Nimoy takes us down to...

0:40:210:40:23

Ooh, 48.

0:40:230:40:25

APPLAUSE

0:40:250:40:27

-I got THAT in the wrong order, didn't I?

-Only by 2!

0:40:270:40:31

Only one more chance to win today's jackpot.

0:40:310:40:33

Everything is now riding on Space Oddity.

0:40:330:40:35

In this case, we were looking for top-40 singles

0:40:350:40:37

with the word "space" in the title.

0:40:370:40:39

It has to be pointless for you to win the jackpot

0:40:390:40:41

so, for £2,500, how many people said Space Oddity?

0:40:410:40:44

There you are. It's right. William Shatner scored 46,

0:40:470:40:50

Leonard Nimoy, 48.

0:40:500:40:52

Space Oddity now goes down,

0:40:520:40:54

passing both of those, eclipsing them.

0:40:540:40:56

Down it goes to 28. There we are. Not bad.

0:40:560:40:59

APPLAUSE

0:40:590:41:01

Not bad, I have to say. You did very well. You did a bold, brave thing.

0:41:010:41:06

Space is a tough category. It's a big subject, obviously.

0:41:060:41:09

There's lots of it.

0:41:090:41:11

And it turned to not really be the subject you were expecting,

0:41:110:41:14

but there we are. I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £2,500.

0:41:140:41:17

However, as it is a celebrity special, we're going to donate £500

0:41:170:41:20

to each celebrity pair for their respective charities.

0:41:200:41:23

We have loved having you on. You've been absolutely brilliant.

0:41:230:41:26

And you get to take home a Pointless trophy, so very well done.

0:41:260:41:28

-We've had a great time.

-Thank you!

-Wonderful. Richard and Vicki.

0:41:280:41:31

-APPLAUSE

-Thank you, thank you.

-Thank you.

0:41:310:41:34

Yeah, a really high quality of contestant on today's show

0:41:370:41:40

and you beat allcomers, so well done.

0:41:400:41:42

Sometimes the jackpot round trips you up.

0:41:420:41:44

Unfortunately, that's what happened today.

0:41:440:41:46

I'll take you through pointless answers from all the categories.

0:41:460:41:49

Let's take a look. We'll start with top-40 singles

0:41:490:41:51

with "space" in the title.

0:41:510:41:53

A Spaceman Came Travelling - Chris de Burgh.

0:41:530:41:56

Of course, Disco Babes From Outer Space was a pointless answer!

0:41:560:41:59

Course it was! The Space Jungle by Adamski.

0:41:590:42:02

Wide Open Space by Mansun.

0:42:020:42:04

Advertising Space, Robbie Williams.

0:42:040:42:06

A Flock Of Seagulls, Space Age Love Song.

0:42:060:42:08

The Queen Of Outer Space by Wedding Present.

0:42:080:42:10

Lots of pointless answers out there.

0:42:100:42:12

The crew of the International Space Station.

0:42:120:42:14

Awful lot of pointless answers here.

0:42:140:42:17

Gennady Padalka, who's spent more days in space

0:42:170:42:20

than any other human in history.

0:42:200:42:22

Michael Foale - depending on how you define Britishness,

0:42:220:42:24

some people say he was the first ever Brit

0:42:240:42:26

on the International Space Station.

0:42:260:42:28

Peggy Whitson has spent more days in space than any other woman.

0:42:280:42:31

And Richard Garriott, whose father was also an astronaut.

0:42:310:42:34

Apart from Tim Peake, Chris Hadfield and Scott Kelly,

0:42:340:42:36

everyone else who's ever been on that space station

0:42:360:42:39

was a pointless answer. Well done if you knew that.

0:42:390:42:41

Actors in the original Star Trek TV show.

0:42:410:42:43

You did say, "I wonder who played Scotty."

0:42:430:42:45

Scotty was played by James Doohan

0:42:450:42:47

-and would have been a pointless answer.

-Oh.

0:42:470:42:51

Jeffrey Hunter, who was originally going to be

0:42:520:42:54

the captain of the Enterprise.

0:42:540:42:56

Everybody a pointless answer on that, apart from Leonard Nimoy,

0:42:560:42:59

William Shatner, George Takei, DeForest Kelley, Nichelle Nichols,

0:42:590:43:03

Walter Koenig and Majel Barrett. Everyone else a pointless answer.

0:43:030:43:06

Very well done if you got a pointless answer at home.

0:43:060:43:08

Thanks, Rich. Join us next time,

0:43:080:43:10

when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

0:43:100:43:13

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

0:43:130:43:15

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

0:43:150:43:17

APPLAUSE

0:43:170:43:20

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