Music Pointless Celebrities

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and welcome to this special music edition of Pointless Celebrities.

This is the show where all the questions have been asked to 100

people before the show, and all our celebrities have to do is come up with the answers

that none of those 100 people could think of.

Let's meet today's Pointless Celebrities.

And couple number one... Hello! Hi!

I'm Jessica Taylor. And I'm Kelli Young.

And we were in Liberty X together.

Couple number two...

Hello, I'm Mari Wilson, and I'm a singer.

And I'm Heather Small, and I'm also a singer.

Couple number three...

Hello, I'm Toyah Willcox. I'm a singer-songwriter.

And I'm Nick Heyward.

I'm a singer-songwriter and frontman with Haircut 100.

And finally, couple number four...

Hello, I'm Barbara Dickson and I'm a singer and musician.

And I'm Fish, and I'm a singer-songwriter.

Thanks very much, all of you.

We will get to know more about each of you throughout the show as it goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce -

heavyweight champion of the nerd,

it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard!

Hiya! Hi, everybody! Good evening.

Good evening to you. And to you.

What a line-up we have here.

How many records have this lot sold together?

Number ones, top ten albums, all sorts of things.

And given that you also... You had a hit album this Christmas.

I'm the only one of the ten of us who's never been in the charts!

That seems a bit harsh! That does seem harsh.

At time of recording, Richard. At time of recording.

I have a meeting next week with Dr Dre about my new hip-hop album,

which I think is going to be something special.

It's going to be a lovely show today. A couple of people have been on before.

Kelli's been on before. Toyah's been on twice - hasn't got beyond the second round.

No-one here's been in a head-to-head yet. A lovely first question as well.

Something for everyone in this first question. Wonderful.

As usual, all of today's questions have been asked

to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants here are looking for those all-important pointless answers,

these big answers that none of our 100 people gave.

Find one of those, and we will add ?250 to the jackpot.

Now, as today's show is a Celebrity Special,

each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity.

We start off with a jackpot of ?2,500!

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless!

Remember one thing, it is this - the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated.

And there is to be no conferring in the first two rounds.

The very best of luck. Our first category this evening is...

Celebrities.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

Ladies first. And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, so, our question concerns...

Famous Bills. Famous Bills, Richard!

We're simply going to show you 16 pictures

now on this board of famous people called or known as Bill.

You just have to give us the most obscure Bill you can find, please.

Very, very best of luck. Thank you very much indeed.

As Richard said, we're going to put a picture up -

that will stay up for the whole round.

16 Bills - you just have to name the most obscure one you can.

So here is that image...

There are all the Bills.

Jessica, welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here.

Now, Liberty X, talk to us about Liberty X.

Liberty X was absolutely fantastic. Yeah.

We had a great time with it. It was just head and shoulders above everything else at that time.

I thought it was just... We think so! Yeah, I think so!

I think so. And you reunited back in 2013.

We did, yeah. Will you re-reunite?

We never thought that we were going to get back together again that time, so you never know.

We just had a ball, especially the second time around,

because there's just no pressure,

you're not trying to sell records. It was just so much fun.

Fabulous. Well, if you ever do get back together again,

two people at least would be very, very happy.

I'd be very happy. I'd be delighted. Huge fans of Liberty X.

Now, Jessica, who would you like to go for?

This is so hard!

This is awful, but I'm going to have

to go for Bill Murray, because I can't think...

Their names are just on the tip of my tongue...

I know that's going to be loads of points.

Let's see. Bill Murray - is he up there?

How many of our 100 people said Bill Murray?

It's right.

30! Not bad! Could have been worse.

Not a bad start to the round, Jessica.

Well played, Jessica, very good start to the round.

It's funny, everyone thinks they know the famous ones,

because they're the ones they know

and so you automatically assume they're famous.

I don't think that looks that much like Bill Murray. Not really.

Do you know what I mean? I think that's quite a difficult photo of him.

There we are. Thanks very much. Richard. Thank you.

Heather Small! Hello. How amazing! Lovely to have you here.

Thank you very much. Now, M People, let's just talk about M People.

I mean, you... At the beginning of the '90s,

you just owned the charts, didn't you?

Oasis would have something to say about that, but I'll go with it!

Oasis? Who? Take That! I mean, hit after hit.

Proud - I mean, it was used by our Olympic bid, wasn't it?

That's right. And then everyone just used it - it became a banner song.

I didn't mind that at all, because usually it was for something very, very positive.

But I think that there must be a whole memo going round, saying,

"Do not use! Do not use Proud!"

Oh, really? I think so. It's been used to death! But I love it - of course I do. Lovely song.

Now, Heather - the Bills...

Erm, I'm going to go for Bill Haley. Bill Haley, says Heather.

Bill Haley. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Bill Haley.

Well, 30 is our only score at this point. Bill Haley is 44!

Oh, my goodness, I'm surprised!

Wow!

Yeah, Rock Around The Clock, of course, is his biggest hit.

I think we should play Proud at some point during Pointless.

Oh, we should. Don't you think?

If no-one else is using it, it's about time we adopted it.

How much would we owe you then, Heather, if we played that?

It's minuscule. You can use it. Yeah, lovely.

For free, you're saying? That's very kind... No, no, no.

I said minuscule, there's a difference.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Toyah, welcome back. Hello.

Thank you. Now, Toyah, when did it start for you, the showbiz career?

I started at the age of 18.

I was in a play with Noel Edmonds on BBC Two

and then I was invited to join the National Theatre.

But my singing started when I was at the National Theatre.

Wait, though - you were in a play with Noel Edmonds, did I get that right?

I was going to come to that. I know! I was...

Sorry, I didn't hear anything after you said that...

Well, Noel was playing himself... Oh, yeah! ..and the story was,

a young girl breaks into the Top Of The Pops studios because

she wants to be on Top Of The Pops, and Noel Edmonds finds her there.

I mean, talk about life imitating art!

Because five years later, I was on Top Of The Pops with Noel Edmonds!

Blimey. Wow!

Toyah, of the Bills, which would you like to go for?

Well, I'm hoping that you...

The 100 people you've asked are all under the age of 30,

because I'm going to go with a member of the Rolling Stones, Bill Wyman.

Bill Wyman, says Toyah.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Bill Wyman.

It's right. 44 is our highest score...

which you passed. 30 is our lowest score, which you passed.

11 for Bill Wyman!

Excellent tactics, Toyah!

Well done, Toyah. I think by the fact that 44 people said Bill Haley,

you know that most of our people are not under 30.

Thank you very much, Richard. Barbara... Hello, Alexander.

A huge pleasure to welcome you to Pointless.

Now, you have been in the business for five decades.

Have I? Apparently so, yeah!

But how extraordinary! I mean, do you have a favourite decade, maybe, of those?

No, I don't. No, I like being now, you know?

I like... I look to the future. I think that's the way to go,

or else you tend to be in the nostalgia business for ever.

I guess. Also, I mean, a lot of people...

Throughout the '70s and '80s,

you were on The Two Ronnies almost every week.

Yes. The producer saw me in a show called

John, Paul, George, Ringo... And Bert,

which had transferred from Liverpool to London.

And he said, "I like her.

"Let's have her on prime-time television

"for eight consecutive weeks." Fantastic! Yep.

Barbara, what do you make of our Bills here?

Well, I know a few of them,

but immediately I saw one I really like very much,

and that's Bill Beaumont. Bill Beaumont, says Barbara.

Bill Beaumont. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Bill Beaumont.

Well, 44 remains the highest score, and you passed that comfortably.

33 for Bill Beaumont.

A good Bill.

Very well played, Barbara. There he is, rather aptly on our second row.

Also very famously Question Of Sport captain as well.

Thank you very much. We're halfway through the round - let's take a look at those scores.

11, Toyah. Very well done. The lowest score of the pass.

We travel up to 30, where we find Jessica and Kelli.

Then up to 33, where we find Barbara and Fish.

Then up to 44, Heather and Mari.

So, yes, you're a little bit ahead there. Mari, we need a low Bill.

That's what we need. That's what we all want. OK.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

So, Fish, remember,

we are looking for the full names of these famous people called Bill.

Now, Fish, I heard that you're planning to give up music.

You're going to retire from music in a couple of years.

Yeah, I think in 2018, I'll be 60.

I'm a writer who can sing, rather than a singer that can write.

And I'd like to start working on screenplays, working on books,

and the obvious autobiography, and just a change of direction.

And acting as well. I mean, I've done quite a few acting

bits and pieces over the years but I've never had the chance to really kind of do work.

So, two years' time, let's change and get back to gardening as well.

Good for you. Best of luck with that. Now, you're on 33.

We need a nice low score. If you can score ten or less,

you'll avoid being our new high-scorers. Yeah.

I'm going to go for Bill Shankly. Bill Shankly, says Fish.

Here is your red line. If you can get below that red line

with Bill Shankly, you are through to Round Two.

Let's see how many people said Bill Shankly.

It's a great answer. Look at that! You needed 10, you got 10.

43 is your score, you are through to the next round.

Very well done. Great answer, Fish. Well played.

The legendary Liverpool manager.

He once said, "If Everton were playing in my back garden,

"I'd draw the curtains."

There we are. Thank you very much, Richard.

Now, Nick, Haircut 100. How young were you in Haircut 100?

I mean, look at you. About 20.

Nick's got to be about... 20. Really?!

He looks about 24, 25 now, doesn't he? Yeah.

Bless you. How many albums did you do with Haircut 100? Two? Just the one.

Just the one? Yeah. Did you all fall out terribly at the end of it?

Not terribly, but we all fell out!

I remember on the back cover, there was Blair, who was your drummer, I think....

Yeah. ..holding a telephone. I always wondered about that.

Yeah, it was everything anti-rock-and-roll.

You've never had somebody on the phone on a sleeve.

Yeah. I think Mark had his foot in a bidet as well. Oh, right.

Now, Nick, there you are on 11.

Our high-scorers are still Mari and Heather at 44.

So 32 or less keeps you in the game.

Is that Bill Withers?

What am I going to say? Bill Withers. Bill Withers, says Nick.

Here is your red line. Below that red line,

Nick, you are through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Bill Withers.

Well done. You are through. Look at that. Great answer!

1! That was brilliant!

1! Lowest score of the round, taking your total up to 12.

That's a terrific answer, Nick. Very well played. It is indeed Bill Withers.

Ain't No Shunshine probably his most famous song.

Ain't No Shunshine! I don't think so! Ain't No Shoeshine?

No, it was called Ain't No Shunshine and

quite often if you hear on the radio, they edit out one of the Hs,

but it is definitively Ain't No Shunshine. Yes. Yeah.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Shuch a pleasure.

Mari. Hello. Welcome to Pointless.

It's lovely to have you here. Thank you.

The beehive, you know how there was always that famous story that various musicians

usually have some parts of their body that have been insured for ridiculous sums of money? Yes.

The beehive was always alleged to have been insured.

Allegedly, it was. Really? Yes.

I mean, what circumstances would you be able to put in a claim?

Well, I remember going on stage once and there was this really long intro,

this bass line riff that would keep going until I came on, and I remember

I went on and my hair got caught on the lighting rig and it was just

them going, "Here's Mari..." And I was going, "Help!"

So it could have been for something like that, or if it'd caught fire.

When you came on, was the lighting rig still attached? No, not quite.

Now, that's a look! I looked like I was having an electric shock. It was all a bit...

In fact, I was about as tall as Richard when I had that hairdo.

I tell you, when I had my beehive, that was...

That wouldn't be right really. I couldn't fit in the car park.

No. Mari, we need a low score from you.

You are our high-scorers, but it's close.

I was going to go for Bill Withers! Oh, no!

There might be another low-scoring Bill up there.

I'll go for Bill Nighy. Bill Nighy, says Mari.

Bill Nighy. No red line for you, as you're the high-scorers.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Bill Nighy.

It's right.

51, Mari.

51 for Bill Nighy, taking your total up to 95.

You're still in the game, though. Anything could happen.

Yeah, there's Bill Nighy on the third row there.

He's wearing my glasses, Bill Nighy. Yes, he is.

Thank you. That's a pleasure. Thank you.

Kelli. Hi. Welcome back to Pointless.

Now, last time you were here, you were pregnant with twins.

I was, yes. Oh! How old are they now?

They're three and a half. Oh! Yes. Wow! It's that long ago.

Twin boys. Twin boys! Now, how is it with twins?

I often wonder. Do they sort of keep each other company?

And sort of comfort each other?

They're starting to now. The first year was...

Double Trouble. Wow! Really? Oh!

And what are you up to at the moment, Kelli?

Well, mostly just being a mum of twins until they start school.

Fair enough. Yeah!

And then I'll be back out into the workplace, doing who knows what.

Who knows what. Getting Liberty X back together,

that's what we're hoping! Now, Kelli,

you are the last person to have this board.

Would you like to talk us through all the Bills?

I knew who they all were. Obviously, Bill Clinton's there -

that's the one that I think if we're to stay in the game

I shouldn't say. There's a famous Bill in my head,

but I don't know if he's there. It's a risk, isn't it?

The famous name I'm thinking of is Bill Bailey.

I'm not going to say Bill Clinton,

so I'm going to say Bill Bailey and just not look.

OK. Well, you have to score 64 or less, Kelli. Bill Bailey.

There is your red line. If you get below that with Bill Bailey, you are into the next round.

OK. Go, go! Let's see how many of our 100 people said Bill Bailey.

It's right! OK, it's right!

And you're through!

Just. 54, takes your total up to 84. Very well done, Kelli.

Great work, Kelli. Very well done.

If you had to hazard a guess at which one was Bill Bailey?

I don't know. Bottom corner.

Yeah, bottom right, absolutely right. Bill Bailey, there.

He's the second-highest scorer of all.

The highest scorer of all won't surprise you, it was Bill Clinton.

It would have scored 82 points, so well done avoiding that.

Let's go through all the answers. We'll start on the bottom row.

Bottom left? Bill Morris. Bill Morris, the trade unionist -

would have scored you one point. Terrific answer.

Very well done if you said that. Next to him? Bill Paxton.

He's one of those actors you think "I've heard of him."

But you wouldn't recognise him, I don't think.

Five points for Bill Paxton. Next to him? Bill Bryson.

Bill Bryson, the writer. He would have scored you 12.

Top left is the Mayor of New York, Bill de Blasio.

Would have scored you 1 point.

Next to him, the only pointless answer.

Used to dance with Shirley Temple. Bill Robinson.

Well done if you said that. A pointless answer. Terrific one.

Bojangles, they used to call him. The wonderful Bill Turnbull next.

20 points for Bill. And then Bill Pertwee.

Yeah. Ten points. Thank you very much, Richard.

We are at the end of our first round

and I'm heartbroken to say that we have to say goodbye...

We were going to have to say goodbye to one of our pairs anyway.

But, Mari and Heather, I'm afraid you are our high-scorers.

Not by a mile. And your Bill Withers. Bill Withers! That's all I have to say!

I know. I know.

Heather, you are coming back to sing for us at the end of the show. You're going to sing us out.

That's right. Not got rid of me yet. Wonderful. Looking forward to that very much.

Please come back and play another time.

Mari and Heather, wonderful contestants. Thank you so much. Thank you. Good luck.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so we're down to three pairs.

At the end of this round, we will have to say goodbye to another pair.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two this evening is...

It's a words round.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Things With Wind In The Answer. Yeah, absolutely.

We're going to give you six clues now on each pass.

All of the answers have the word wind in them somewhere,

either by itself or as part of longer words,

but all of the answers contain the word wind somewhere.

There's going to be six on the first board, six on the second.

12 in all to have a go at home. Very best of luck. Thanks very much.

So here is our first board of clues of things with wind in them.

And here they are. We've got...

I'll read those again as quickly as I can...

Kelli?

THEY SIGH

Well, randomly, sport is my absolute worst.

But I feel like I might know the footballer.

I'm going to go for the footballer one.

I can't believe I'm saying those words.

And? Dean Windass. Dean Windass. Is it Dean...? Oh! Yeah.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Dean Windass.

Is it right?

Look at that, Kelli. Very well done indeed.

It is Dean. It is Windass. And that is a great score. 16.

APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed. Can I just say...? Can I just say,

my husband is not going to believe that just happened.

He's not going to believe that just happened! Congratulations.

Brilliant. That's a brilliant answer, Kelli. Very well done, and very brave to go for it as well.

Terrific player, Dean Windass.

His son is a professional player as well now.

There's another Windass on the block.

There we are, thank you very much.

Toyah... Hello. Toyah.

Right, I'm thinking, because children's books

and children's plays have moved on so much in the

last 30 years, I'm going to go with Wind In The Willows.

OK, The Wind In The Willows, says Toyah.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right. Oh, it's no Dean Windass!

75.

Ouch. Yeah, big score, isn't it?

Published in 1908. A long time ago but still so famous.

It's AA Milne who dramatised it for the stage.

Thank you very much, Richard. Now, Fish? Yeah?

You're the last person to have this board, so if you want,

you can give all the answers.

The second one's Blowin' In The Wind.

The kestrel, I think it might be wind harrier.

Windpipe is the trachea, and I'm going to take a gamble and go

Gone With The Wind for the first one. Gone With The Wind, says Fish.

Let's see if that's right, and let's see how many of our 100 people said Gone With The Wind.

38. Good answer. Nice lowish score.

Very well played, Fish. Perfect tactics as well,

because it's one of those ones everyone knows the book,

but given the clues there, can they name it?

Let's fill in the rest of this board, shall we?

In fact, you filled this in almost perfectly.

Blowin' In The Wind, the protest song. That would have scored 42.

And I think you all thought the trachea answer was going to be the highest, you were right.

It is windpipe, that would have scored you 81 points.

The best answer on the board, it's not a wind harrier,

it's a windhover. That would have scored you six points.

Very well done if you said that at home.

Well, we're halfway through the round, so let's take a look at those scores.

16, Kelli. Look, you see, there's your reward for your boldness.

Then up to 38, where we find Fish and Barbara.

Now, Toyah, we've got to see you in the head-to-head round.

We have to. Oh, please! But, Nick... Come on, Nick!

Where do we go from here, Nick?

High score of 75, we need a really low score.

Another of your Bill Withers-type answers, if that's all right? OK.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more wind clues up on the board,

and here they are...

I'm going to read those all one last time...

Barbara? I know a few but they could be big-scorers.

Let me just go... You know, it's fate, isn't it? It's just fate.

I'll go for the Bette Midler song,

The Wind Beneath My Wings.

The Wind Beneath My Wings for the Bette Midler song, says Barbara.

Here is your red line. If you can get below that with

The Wind Beneath My Wings, you're into the head-to-head.

Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Oh! 40.

40 takes your total up to 78.

Yeah, might have done enough there, Barbara.

Of course, used in the film Beaches as well, The Wind Beneath My Wings.

It won Record of the Year and Song of the Year at the Grammys.

OK, thank you very much indeed.

Now, then. Nick, we need another Bill Withers-style answer here.

Because you want to be scoring 2 or less, ideally.

I was going to go for Wind Beneath My Wings and the only one I know...

is the top one, Earth, Wind And Fire.

There we are, top one, Boogie Wonderland.

There is your red line, Nick.

Oh, God! Somehow... Oh, dear. We're out!

It's like the most impossible limbo you've ever seen and you have to...

You somehow have to get below that with Earth, Wind And Fire.

Let's see if you can do it.

38. APPLAUSE

Well done.

38 takes your total up to 113.

You might have done enough. It's all in Jessica's hands.

Yeah, well played, Nick. Good answer.

Of course, Earth, Wind And Fire is slightly cheaper

than earth, wind and fire and third party.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Jessica.

Jessica, now, actually, you only need to score 96 or less.

Do you want to talk us through the board?

I don't know the capital of Namibia.

The next one, I think, is windmill,

but I think probably loads of people got that.

And then I don't know the answer to this,

but I feel that I want to guess at the royal residence,

I think it's Windsor.

It's Windsor Castle. Windsor Castle, thank you.

There is your red line, lovely and high.

Get below that with Windsor Castle, you're through to the next round.

How many of our 100 people said Windsor Castle?

It's right, and you're through. Well done.

Ooh, 81. APPLAUSE

Good enough. Takes your total up to 97.

Did exactly what you needed to do there.

You're right, windmill would've scored more points,

you still would've just got through on windmill,

would've scored you 86 points.

The capital and largest city of Namibia is Windhoek,

it's the best answer on the board, would've scored 15 points.

Well done if you said that.

And the Jedi Master played by Samuel L Jackson

is Mace Windu, 17 points for that.

Thanks, Richard. We're at the end of our second round and

I'm afraid the pair we have to say goodbye to is Nick and Toyah.

Oh, Toyah, we desperately needed you in the head-to-head.

Well, at least I wasn't first off! Well, there we are. There we are.

Well, please come back and play again.

It's just been fabulous having you on.

Thank you so much for playing, Nick and Toyah, wonderful contestants.

Well done. APPLAUSE

But, for Fish and Barbara, Jessica and Kelli,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Fish and Barbara, Jessica and Kelli.

You are now one step closer to the final,

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at ?2,500.

So here's the bit where we decide who goes through to the final

to play for the jackpot for their charities,

and we do this by making you go head-to-head.

We pit you against each other, but you can play as teams now,

which is nice. You can confer before you give your answers.

And the first pair to win two questions

will be playing for that jackpot. Well, best of luck to both pairs.

Let's play the head-to-head.

Here comes your first question, and it concerns...

Memorable Movie Moments. Richard.

I'm going to show you five pictures now from famous movies,

you just need to tell us the name of the movie, please.

OK. Thanks. Let's reveal our five pictures and here they come.

We've got...

There we go. Five stills from memorable moments in the movies.

Now, Fish and Barbara, you've been our low-scorers so far,

so you will go first.

Er...

Going to go with C, that's From Here To Eternity.

From Here To Eternity, say Fish and Barbara.

From Here To Eternity. Now, Jessica and Kelli, that board is all yours.

Do you want to talk us through all the others?

OK. Well, A's The Full Monty.

Yeah. B? I don't know.

The other two we know. I mean, D is really famous.

D is ET. People might not know... E is Thelma And Louise.

Yeah. So we'll go for E, Thelma And Louise.

OK. Now, Jessica and Kelli have gone for Thelma And Louise for E.

So we have From Here To Eternity

from Fish and Barbara, and Thelma And Louise from Jessica and Kelli.

Now, in the order they were given,

Fish and Barbara went for From Here To Eternity.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

17.

17 for From Here To Eternity.

Now, Jessica and Kelli have gone for Thelma And Louise for E.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

49 for Thelma And Louise.

Well done, Fish and Barbara, after one question, you're up 1-0.

Yeah, very well played and of the three you knew,

you chose the right one. That's the lowest scorer.

You did well to avoid D.

ET would have scored you 82 points.

You also did well to avoid A, which, of course, is The Full Monty.

That would have scored you 53.

Now, the best answer on the board.

It's On The Waterfront, would've scored you 12 points.

There we are. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So here is your second question, Jessica and Kelli.

You get to answer it first but you have to win this one

to stay in the game so best of luck.

Our second question this evening is all about...

Musicians With Noble Names. Richard.

We're going to play you five clips now from songs by acts

who have a noble or royal word in their name.

Can you name who these tracks are by, please?

OK, thanks very much. Let's play our five little tracks

and here they are. We've got...

# I came here tonight to hear the crowd go

# Boom! Shake-shake-shake the room

# Boom! Shake-shake-shake the room

# Boom! Shake-shake-shake the room

# Tic-tic-tic boom! #

B.

JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS

C.

# Don't call me Scarface

# My name is Capone

# C-A-P-O-N-E

# Capone... #

Here's D.

SHE RAPS: # So I jump in the car and I go to the venue

# Walk in the door Now I'm on the menu

# Guys in the house they're watching me

# They're clocking me There's no stopping me

# Desire I know you want me

# You're fine Thank you

# But I'm not the type of girl that you think I am

# I don't jump into the arms of every man... #

And here's E.

# You

# Your sex is on fire

# Consumed

# With what's just transpired... #

OK, so there are our five excerpts.

So, Jessica and Kelli, which would you like to go for?

We're going to go for D. D, was it? Yeah. Yeah.

As Queen Latifah.

Queen Latifah, say Jessica and Kelli.

Now, Fish and Barbara, do you want to talk us through all the others?

Well...

We're definitely going to go for B, which is Count Basie.

OK, Count Basie.

Queen Latifah and we have Count Basie.

Now, Jessica and Kelli said Queen Latifah.

Let's see if it's right,

let's see how many people said it for D.

Queen Latifah...

10! APPLAUSE

Look at that.

That's quite good.

Very well done indeed.

Now, Fish and Barbara, meanwhile, have gone for Count Basie for B.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Count Basie.

Ooh. I don't believe it! Duke Ellington. It must be the other one.

Yes. Duke Ellington. Oh!

Not Count Basie, which means well done, Jessica and Kelli,

you're back in the game. After two questions, it's 1-1.

Yeah, a lot of jazz musicians with noble and royal names.

It was Duke Ellington, absolutely.

24 points it would've scored you as well.

Now, A...

Let's have a little listen.

# I came here tonight to hear the crowd go

# Boom shake... #

Of course, Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.

Would've scored you 19 points.

C.

# Don't call me Scarface... #

That's one of the greats of ska music, that's Prince Buster

and it's the best answer on the board as well.

It would have scored you 4 points.

And E...

# You... #

It's the tenth most downloaded song of all time.

Sex On Fire by The Kings Of Leon.

53 points for that. Thanks very much, Richard.

OK, it all comes down to the third question.

This is the decider. Whoever wins this goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot for their nominated charities.

Best of luck to both pairs.

Our third question concerns...

Richard. Yep, we're going to show you five things now that you find

in different organs of the human body.

We need you to tell us the organ you would find these in, please,

and whichever team gives us the lowest score

is going through to play for the jackpot.

So very best of luck, everyone.

OK. So in what organs would you find these things?

And here are our five things.

I'll read those one last time.

There we are. Now then, Fish and Barbara will go first.

We'll go... Uh...

Cochlea, which is ear.

Cochlea, ear, say Fish and Barbara.

Cochlea, ear. Now, Jessica and Kelli,

do you fancy talking us through that board?

So the iris is in the eye,

the gastric glands, we think stomach,

the pulmonary one, might be in the lung.

We think it's lungs.

Which one are we going to go for? Let's go for the last one.

Which is the...? Lungs.

Lungs. You're going to say lungs for the pulmonary alveoli.

OK. So we have ear and we have lungs.

Fish and Barbara went for ear for cochlea, let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said ear.

That's a high one there. Ear scoring 70, I should say.

Now then, Jessica and Kelli...

You're making a habit of going for really gutsy answers.

Yeah, I'm not sure. We're worried now.

Which is why I think you should have gone for the gastric one, but there we are.

Yeah, why didn't we go for the gastric one? I know...

You've gone lungs for pulmonary alveoli. We're worried now!

You said lungs. Is it right and if it is, how many people said it?

Is it wrong?

It's absolutely right, very well done.

Oh, my word! And it wins you the question, well done.

44.

I can't take it any more! Very well done indeed.

After three questions, Jessica and Kelli, you are through to the final

2-1.

Very well played, rewarded for your risk-taking once again.

Terrific stuff.

Do you know if you took a pair of human lungs

and spread them out across a tennis court...

you would die?

LAUGHTER

Do you know that? So don't do that.

Don't do it would be my advice.

Now, if you had gone for gastric glands,

what would you have gone for?

Stomach. Stomach probably.

Stomach, yeah. Would have seen you knocked out

because it would have scored you 78 points.

Oh, wow. It's a bigger scorer.

The biggest scorer of all, of course, is the iris.

That scores a massive 96 points.

Wow. And the islets of Langerhans?

I should know this cos we're going there next autumn.

LAUGHTER

If you want to go there, you have to travel from...St Pancreas.

That's where you'd go from. It's the pancreas.

20 points for that. Very well done if you said that at home.

Thanks very much indeed.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head-round,

I'm so sorry, Fish and Barbara.

Our champion low-scorers the whole way through.

It's been lovely having you. It's been great. Thank you so much.

Wonderful. Thank you. Please come back and play again.

It's been such a treat having you here. Yeah, sure. Thank you so much.

Fish and Barbara, wonderful contestants. Well done, girls.

Yeah, well done.

Right, for Jessica and Kelli, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Well, congratulations, Jessica and Kelli.

You have fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot for your charities

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at...

Do you know, the number of times we have people on and we hear them

talking through the answers they want to give

and they sometimes touch on one that might be a low-scoring one

but then they'll go for the easy one.

You keep doing it.

You take a punt on it and you absolutely

stick with your convictions, and it's been brilliant.

You really deserve to win.

I mean, to get this far on the back of a hunch, it's just fantastic.

So very, very well done indeed.

Now then, as always, you get to choose your category in this last round.

We'll put four up on the board and we've just got to hope

there's something in there that you quite like the look of.

Today's selection looks like this...

What's your instinct? Noughties. Go on, then.

Noughties. Noughties Award Winners it is.

Richard. OK, very best of luck. Three very different questions here,

so hopefully at least one of them will suit you

and you can concentrate on that. We are looking for...

Any author who won the Man Booker Prize during the noughties.

So, from 2000 to 2009 inclusive.

Any comedy show which won the British Comedy Awards Best TV Comedy

from 2000 to 2009 inclusive.

Or any act who won Best British Male

or Best British Female Brit Award during the noughties.

So again, from 2000 to 2009.

So, Booker prize-winners,

comedies that won Best TV Comedy or Best British Male,

Best British Female winners at the Brits from 2000-2009 inclusive.

Very best of luck.

OK, now, as always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers and all you need to win that jackpot

for your charities is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Are you ready?

Yes. I don't know.

Yeah, we're going to have to be, aren't we?

OK, well, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

The Booker Prize, I don't know any.

No. No. Best British Male and Best British Female at the Brits,

did Will Young win Male?

I don't know if he did. Robbie Williams?

Must have. In the noughties? Must have done.

But he'd be popular.

Yeah.

British comedy.

Comedy. I'm thinking Little Britain.

Yeah.

This is really hard.

TV Comedy Award winners in the noughties.

What comedies have there been...? In the noughties?

Little Britain, Inbetweeners.

The Comedy Awards...

Male, female Brits.

Come on. Let's think.

Male, female Brits. Why has my mind gone blank?

This is horrible. Will Young.

Ten seconds left.

What about the females who were around when we were around?

Kylie? No, she's not British.

OK. That is your time up. I now need your three answers.

So, for...

the Brit Award question.

Yep? In the noughties.

Yeah, Will Young. Will Young.

For the comedy, we'll go for Little Britain.

Little Britain.

Robbie must have won it.

Robbie. You're going to go for Robbie Williams.

Of those three, which do you want to put last?

Which is your most likely to be pointless, do you think?

Will? Yeah.

Well, I don't think any of them are.

Will Young last. Least likely to be pointless?

Robbie Williams. Robbie Williams.

And then Little Britain in the middle. In the middle.

OK, well, let's put those answers up on board in that order, then,

and here they are. We've got Robbie Williams,

we've got Little Britain and we've got Will Young.

Well, very best of luck.

I think you've landed on some good things,

it could easily be that one of these things turns out to be pointless.

If that's the case and you win that jackpot,

which charities are you playing for? Jessica, you first.

Mine is the Space Centre in Preston, where I'm from,

and it's a multisensory centre for people with special needs.

Kelli, how about you? Mine is Tamba,

which is the Twins and Multiple Births Association -

and they actually helped me and gave me lots of advice when I was a

clueless mum of new-born twins.

Oh, fantastic. Well, two great charities there.

Two great charities there.

Let's hope one of these answers is right and is pointless,

and will win that jackpot for your charities.

Best of luck. Your first answer was Robbie Williams.

In this case, we were looking for Best British Male or Female Artist

at the Brit Awards.

If this is right, and if it is pointless, it will win you ?2,500.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Robbie Williams.

It's right.

Now, this is right. If this goes all the way down to 0,

you will leave here with ?2,500 for your charities.

Down we go. Through the 20s and into the teens.

Oh. 17.

That's less than I thought it would be. A lot less. A lot less.

17.

Unfortunately, not a pointless answer but a great low score.

Yeah. Two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was Little Britain.

In this case, we were looking for Best TV Comedy award

at the Comedy Awards. You went for Little Britain.

If it's right and it's pointless, it will win

for your charities ?2,500.

Let's see how many people said Little Britain.

It's right.

Now, your first answer, Robbie Williams,

took us all the way down to 17.

Little Britain now takes us down into the teens, passes 17.

Down it goes into single figures. Still going down. Still going down.

Oh. ALL: Oh!

Oh.

2.

You are kidding me! 2 of our 100...

Who are those 2 people? I want to throttle them.

OK. Only one more shot at today's jackpot.

I don't even know if this is right, I don't even know if this is right.

You've been brilliant right the way through the show.

It would be fitting, it'd be so just

if you were to take this home with this answer.

Now, Will Young. Again, we were looking for Best British Male

or Female Artist at the Brit Awards in the noughties.

This has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot. So, for ?2,500,

let's see how many people said Will Young.

Oh, no!

Oh! Oh, well. We didn't know if that was right.

Why didn't he win? He should have won!

You came so close, too, there for Little Britain.

But I'm afraid you just didn't manage to find

that all-important pointless answer,

so I'm afraid you didn't win today's jackpot of ?2,500.

However, as today's show is a Celebrity Special,

we're going to donate ?500 to each celebrity pair...

Oh, brilliant. Thank you. ..for their charities.

So, there we are. And you get a Pointless trophy to take home.

You've been absolutely fantastic.

It's been wonderful having you on.

Thank you very much, Jessica and Kelli!

Jessica and Kelli, brilliant team.

Great performance throughout as well

and really unlucky in that jackpot round. But thank you for joining us.

It's been great. Now, let's take a look at the pointless answers.

First we'll look at the Man Booker Prize winners.

I know some people would have concentrated on this list at home.

Alan Hollinghurst was a pointless answer.

DBC Pierre, Margaret Atwood, Peter Carey,

also could have had Anne Enright and Kiran Desai.

Kiran Desai

Those were the pointless answers on that list.

Very well done if you said one of those.

Only one pointless answer on the Best TV Comedy.

This was the toughest to go for.

That was Dinnerladies.

Now, let's take a look at some of these

Best British Male and Best British Female winners, shall we?

KT Tunstall was a pointless answer.

Ms Dynamite, Paul Weller, Tom Jones.

You also could have had Beth Orton.

Daniel Bedingfield was a pointless answer.

James Morrison, Joss Stone, Kate Nash,

Mark Ronson, a pointless answer.

Mike Skinner, The Streets, was a pointless answer and Sonique.

Unlucky, you played brilliantly. Thank you. Thanks, Richard.

Well, join us next time, when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge

to the test on Pointless. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

Goodbye. And it's goodbye from me.

And playing us out with Moving On Up, it's Heather Small.

# You've done me wrong Your time is up

# You took a sip - just a sip - from the devil's cup

# You broke my heart There's no way back

# Move right out of here, baby Go on, pack your bags

# Just who do you think you are?

# Stop acting like some kind of star

# Just who do you think you are?

# Take it like a man, baby if that's what you are

# Cos I'm moving on up You're moving on out

# Moving on up, nothing can stop me

# Moving on up, you're moving on out

# Time to break free Nothing can stop me, yeah

# They brag a man has walked in space

# But you can't even find my place

# There ain't nothing you can do

# Cos I've had enough of me, baby being part of you

# Just who do you think you are?

# This time you've gone too far

# Just who do you think you are?

# Take it like a man, baby if that's what you are

# Cos I'm moving on up You're moving on out

# Moving on up, nothing can stop me

# Cos I'm moving on up You're moving on out

# Time to break free

# Nothing can stop me

# Moving

# Nothing can stop me

# Moving

# Time to break free

# Nothing can stop me! #

The case against you is too strong.

It's not a question of whether you'll be found guilty, but when.

I am a gentleman.

I am a gentleman's wife.

Soon to be a gentleman's widow.