Impressionists Pointless Celebrities

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and a very warm welcome to this special

impressionist edition of Pointless Celebrities.

The show where the aim of the game is to avoid the obvious answers and

find the obscure ones.

Let's meet today's Pointless Celebrities.

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Francine Lewis and I was on Britain's Got Talent in 2013 as a

finalist.

I'm Danny Posthill, I was a finalist on Britain's Got Talent in 2015.

APPLAUSE

Couple number two.

I'm Matt Ford, I'm an impressionist and a big supporter of

Nottingham Forest.

I'm Rory Bremner. On a good day, on a bad day, I'm Nigel Farage.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Couple number three.

I'm Jan Ravens and I'm from Dead Ringers and I'm very surprised,

-AS ANNE ROBINSON:

-Alexander, that you've taken over my tea-time quiz crown!

LAUGHTER

And I'm Jon Culshaw, also from Dead Ringers.

APPLAUSE

And finally, couple number four.

Hello, I'm Ronni Ancona,

I used to do Big Impression with this gentleman here, where I did people

like Lorraine...

-AS LORRAINE KELLY:

-Welcome back, if you've just joined us, don't worry, you'll get a job soon, so you will.

..Kelly. And various people, and...

And I'm Gary Lineker and today I've assumed the facial shape and physical

characteristics of Alistair McGowan.

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

APPLAUSE Thank you very much, all of you.

We'll get to chat to each of you throughout the show as it goes along,

so that just leaves one more person for me to introduce. He is the real McCoy.

Although, having said that, we did get him cheap in a Hong Kong street

market. It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya. Hi, everybody.

-APPLAUSE

Good evening to you.

-And to you.

-You know, sometimes when we do this show and we have,

like, historians or newsreaders or professors or things like that and it's

such an easy evening, isn't it, it's lovely, they all behave themselves.

There's just something about looking at these eight people that makes you think it might be a long evening!

Do you know what I mean? But I suspect an immensely fun one as well.

-A nice first round. Everyone's going to have a little crack at this first round, it'll be a good one.

-Lovely.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, as usual, all of today's questions have been put to 100 people

before the show. Our contestants here are on the lookout of course for those all-important pointless

answers, these being answers that none of our 100 people gave.

Find one of those and we'll add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, as today's show is a celebrity special,

each of our lovely celebrities here is playing for a nominated charity.

We are going to start off with a jackpot of £2,500.

There we are.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, now, just remember this.

The pair with the highest score at the end of each round will be

eliminated. Best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category this evening is...

-It's a people round.

-A nice broad one!

-Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go

first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. So our question concerns...

Yeah, we're going to show you a board of famous people,

all of whose surnames begin O'.

Can you identify the most obscure people on this board?

15 in all to have a go at home.

OK, shall we have a look at that image? Here it comes.

15 people, all of whose surnames

begin with O', and obviously

you're going to try and find the

-most obscure. Francine.

-Yes.

Huge welcome to Pointless. It's lovely to have you here. Now how was BGT?

I mean, is that as gladiatorial as it looks?

I mean, do people look after you, is it a nice show?

-IN GEORDIE ACCENT:

-I was totally, utterly nervous, do you know?

But I bet they couldn't believe they had somebody like me,

Cheryl Versace-Versace, a superstar on there.

-LAUGHTER

-But, no, I loved it.

Yeah, no, I loved it.

It was such a great opportunity to go and showcase what I do and having

Ant and Dec on the show, Simon Cowell, oh, you can't beat it, really.

-It's amazing.

-Lovely.

Now, Francine, how are you feeling about these Os behind me?

Yeah, I know a couple of those.

I'm going to go for...

Sinead O'Connor.

Sinead O'Connor, says Francine.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went along with Sinead O'Connor.

It's right.

53.

53 for Sinead O'Connor.

Yeah, there's Sinead O'Connor

in the bottom right there.

Still best known for Nothing Compares 2 U.

There we are. Now, Rory, welcome to Pointless.

-Hello.

-Good to have you here.

Now, Rory, you've sort of been involved very much in political impressions,

-haven't you? That seems to be your...

-Well, no, I don't accept that at all.

-AS DAVID CAMERON:

-I, no, no, I don't accept that at all.

I think there are some pointless politicians and I think there's one

pointless politician, is, is, is Ed Miliband, who is here.

-AS ED MILIBAND:

-Well, look, it's great to be here and I think the most important thing

about Ed Miliband is the sort of bizarre head turn.

Alexander, look, it's about creating a new generation.

-And I think that proves the point.

-LAUGHTER

We've got a cabinet here, don't worry.

-I can see that.

-Or there's William Hague, who Jon does very,

very well indeed.

-AS WILLIAM HAGUE:

-Yes, well, you say that but we must find out what the William Hague

pronunciations of these people are.

-AS WILLIAM HAGUE:

-He was Foreign Secretary because, as we know,

we have a Prime Minister who thinks that Somalia is a wine waiter.

LAUGHTER

Right. Now, Rory, who would you like to go for?

OK, I think, I am going to go for,

in the middle row on the right,

I'm going to go for Richard O'Brien.

Richard O'Brien, says Rory.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went along with Richard O'Brien.

It's right. 53 is our only score and you pass it, look at that,

down it goes.

Richard O'Brien down at 14, Rory.

APPLAUSE

Look at that on podium two.

Yeah, wrote the Rocky Horror Picture Show, Richard O'Brien, and perhaps even more famously

-presented The Crystal Maze.

-There we are, thank you, Richard.

Now, Jan, Jan, talking about impressions,

do you work on your impressions on your own?

Do you find you sort of sit in a room on your own

and find a character?

N... Sometimes, sometimes they just sort of leap out at you and want to

be done. I mean, I remember when I first saw Fiona Bruce on the telly

and I just saw this person with this sort of glimmering stare going, "Hello,

"I'm Fiona Bruce, it's not just my eyebrows that go up and down all night."

And I thought, you know, what is this glimmering panther reading the news?

It just kind of completely came out at me, but some of them you do have

to sit at home and work on vowel sounds and you have to find a little...

I could never do Judi Dench until she did the Bond

films. When I heard her going, "So, James," you know.

-AS JUDI DENCH:

-It suddenly became clear that Judi Dench had that sort of slight lisp,

whereas when she'd been doing Shakespeare, I was sort of too intimidated by

-her, you know?

-Now, Jan. Look at all these Os.

OK.

I'll go for Mark O'Dowd.

Mark O'Dowd, says Jan.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people went for

Mark O'Dowd.

-Oh, no!

-Oh!

What about that?

Everyone of us, including me, the tone in my voice said,

"Oh, that's very clever." I, I...

Yes, anyway. Mark O'Dowd not there.

100 points is what you score there.

Sorry, it's going to be a short visit, then, isn't it?

I'm so sorry, yeah, no Mark O'Dowd up there.

I'll give all the correct answers at the end of the round.

Yes. Alistair.

-Hello.

-Welcome.

-Thank you.

Now, Alistair, you... After your world of impressions...

Obviously, you started out on Spitting Image.

Yes.

Who were you on Spitting Image? Which were yours?

-AS JOHN MAJOR:

-Well, I, at one time, was doing the John Major voice,

with the famous peas sketch and that was very, very enjoyable.

Very enjoyable. And all sorts of people.

-AS DAVID COLEMAN:

-The great, late David Coleman. Absolutely remarkable.

He was one of my people, and I also shared the impression

-AS CHRIS EUBANK:

-of Chris Eubank with John Thomson. We used the alternate doing our Chris Eubanks,

and that was one of the most enjoyable ones I've ever done, I think.

Very good indeed. Now, who are all these people?

Their surnames begin with O'.

-IRISH ACCENT:

-Well, I was going to go for the one Jan just went for,

but I won't.

-NORMAL VOICE:

-So I'm actually going to gamble, I think...

-Don't gamble.

-..on Maureen O'Hara.

RONNI AND AUDIENCE GASP Oh, listen to that!

Maureen O'Hara. Let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Maureen O'Hara.

-It's right.

-Well done.

-Now,

100 was our high score, and you passed that some time ago.

14 currently our low score, and you've passed that as well.

Down to 10. Very well done indeed.

Maureen O'Hara. APPLAUSE

Oh, suddenly got very exciting.

Yes, a very strong answer.

Yeah, there she is in the bottom row in the middle.

Starred in How Green Was My Valley and lots of John Wayne films

-as well.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Well,

we're halfway through the round, so let's take a look at those scores.

10, Alistair, very well done. The best score of that pass.

Alistair and Ronni looking particularly strong,

as, I would say, are Rory and Matt, on 14 there.

Then we come up to 53,

which is where we find Francine and Danny, and then up to 100, Jan.

But Jon, there might be a scenario in which you survive at the end of this round.

-We'll see.

-But it will rely on a low score from you,

so good luck with that. We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

Ronni, remember we are looking for the names of these people whose

surnames begin with O'.

Now, then, when you're acting, do you find, as an impressionist,

that sometimes maybe you channel other people as well?

Well, Alistair, my old mucker here, he tends to say, his first thing

he tends to say when I've done various voices, you have said this,

"There's always a little bit of Posh Spice coming through,"

which is obviously my default position.

I'm actually surprised that

-AS POSH SPICE:

-Posh hasn't been asked to do this, actually,

because I know a lot about fashion.

-AS DAVID BECKHAM:

-Yeah, and David obviously if the category

was football, they'd be fine, wouldn't they?

-As long as it was football...

-Or clothes.

-Fashion.

-Yeah, or fashion.

They'd definitely do well on this programme.

-Yeah, very well.

-They wouldn't get many laughs, but...

-NORMAL VOICE:

-It just shows how people date!

-NORMAL VOICE:

-No, listen, I have to say,

the thing is that, we all know each other very well,

we're very close and the thing about impressionists is that

they do play tricks on each other sometimes.

I was doing a job with Louis Walsh, and Rory,

who I used to tour with a million years ago,

used to keep on going about "Oh, I do a really good Louis Walsh,

"really good. I don't want to boast, but you should hear my Louis Walsh."

-AS WALSH:

-That's absolutely not true, that's so not true!

It's a great voice, but it wasn't true.

I was working with Louis and I said "Will you do me a favour, Louis?"

"Will you go on the phone to a friend of mine?"

Rang up Rory and said,

"Rory, I know you said your Louis Walsh is really good

"but there's this young impressionist here and oh, my God,

"his Louis Walsh is just spectacular."

I passed the phone on to Louis Walsh,

Louis does Louis down the phone, and then Rory, on the phone back to me,

goes, "Oh, I don't think it was that good!

"A lot of the vowel sounds were out." I kid you not!

-Now, Ronni, back to our Os over here.

-Oh, sorry. Sorry.

89 points or less, and you're into the next round.

OK. I'm going to go the top left-hand corner.

I think that's the lead singer of The Cranberries,

and I think that's Dolores O'Roar...

Dolores O'...

You sure you don't want to go for somebody more...?

-Somebody you know the name of might be a better idea!

-O'Riordan.

-O'Riordan.

-That's not conferring.

-O'Riordan.

-O'Riordan?

-Yeah, Dolores O'Riordan.

-Dolores O'Riordan.

We just have to see if it's right. Dolores O'Riordan.

Here is your red line. If you can get below that red line with

Dolores O'Riordan, you are home and dry.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Dolores O'Riordan.

It's right. Very well done, indeed. Ronni, through you go.

And it's a great answer as well.

Look at that. It's our lowest score of the round.

One for Dolores O'Riordan. APPLAUSE

That scores you one. Takes your total up to 11.

Very well done indeed.

That's a terrific answer, Ronni. very well played.

Yeah, The Cranberries sold 40 million albums worldwide.

Jon. Actually, talking of ringing up,

actually, the havoc you can cause by ringing people up.

And obviously your William Hague, you know,

you rang up Tony Blair as William Hague,

-and got put all the way through.

-Yes, it was...

I'd only done the William Hague impression for a couple of weeks,

-AS HAGUE:

-but he had such a distinctive sound and the stretching

out of the words, and a very generous person on the switchboard

who put me then through to Tony Blair who was,

-AS BLAIR:

-you know, in a quite, you know, good mood.

He was still chirpy in those days, you know,

-AS BLAIR/DALEK:

-before he'd sort of turned into a Dalek in later time.

-NORMAL VOICE:

-So yes, it was a very unexpected little moment.

I think I ought to tell you, Jon,

now, 20 years on, that it wasn't Tony Blair, either.

LAUGHTER

Matt, how could you?!

-Jon, there you are. You're our high-scorers on 100.

-OK.

We need a low score from you.

Well, I'll try the one that

we did in our first round and I'll go for Chris O'Dowd.

Chris O'Dowd.

Chris O'Dowd. OK, no red line for you as you're the high-scorers.

Let's see how far down the column you can get with Chris O'Dowd.

It's right.

See, there we are. Look at that. 11.

Very well done indeed. APPLAUSE

You might have kept yourself in the game there, Jon.

-111 is your total.

-Yeah, Chris O'Dowd.

I'm sorry, Jan. There he is in the top right.

Still probably best known as Roy from The IT Crowd.

There we are. OK, and Matt, welcome to Pointless.

-Hello.

-Great to have you here. Now, you're quite politically involved

as well as being a political commentator. Do you find that, does that colour your impressions at all?

Not so much. The problem is that I meet a lot of the politicians that I

then end up impersonating.

I remember I met George Galloway.

We both used to do shows on TalkSport radio, and he'd be on

before me and I'd be on after.

Galloway knew that I was a Blairite

and the first handover he did with me, he goes,

-AS GALLOWAY:

-"Well, coming up after midnight on TalkSport is a man

"who supported the illegal invasion of Iraq.

"Matt, what's coming up after midnight?"

"John Terry and the England captaincy, George,

"and old coat hangers. What do you do with yours? Give us a call."

Thank you very much for that. Matt, listen. You're on 14.

If you can score 96 or less, which one would hope would be relatively easy...

The one in the middle, I think I know.

Shall I just go with the one that's definitely right?

OK. I'm going to play it safe and I'm going to go

-with Brian O'Driscoll.

-Brian O'Driscoll, says Matt.

Let's see if Brian O'Driscoll's right.

Here's your red line. Look how... Couldn't be higher, look at that.

There you are. Look, well done, you're through.

It's fine. It's fine, and it's a really good answer.

It's a really good answer.

Look at that, 18. APPLAUSE

Taking your total up to 32.

Yeah, one of the true rugby greats, Brian O'Driscoll, for Ireland.

Wonderful. Now, Danny. Welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you so much.

-Great to have you here.

-Congratulations. Britain's Got Talent.

-Yeah.

A, that's a really tough crowd, isn't it, to come out in front of?

Yeah, absolutely, I mean when you got impressionists like Francine

you've got to follow, you know, two years on it's difficult, you know.

This is amazing. Thanks for having me on.

I'm on with all me heroes here. This is incredible, you know, so...

But the other thing about Britain's Got Talent,

presumably is, you know,

if you know you're good enough or if you reckon you're good enough to get

through, you can't come out and do all your big stuff

but it's got to be good enough in Round One to get in.

-AS MICHAEL MCINTYRE:

-Well, obviously, when I started my first

audition, I done Michael McIntyre. Yes!

He's my favourite, he likes to mumble quite a lot,

the moving of the head. Moving the head with Michael.

And people sort of look at me and think, "It's Michael McIntyre's face

"with Harry Hill's head. It's a nightmare."

-AS JOHN BISHOP:

-You know, and I also done John Bishop.

John's one of me favourites, I'll be honest with you, because John,

little old me, look at me, I'm selling out arenas, me, John Bishop,

little old me! Honestly, I got stopped in Morrison's last week,

-he said, "Put that back."

-LAUGHTER

-So, Danny.

-Yeah.

-There you are, on 53. You have to score 57 or less.

-This is pressure.

-It is pressure. It is pressure.

-AS

-DARA O'BRIAIN: Let's just see, I have actually done

an impression of the person who actually I'm thinking of.

I'm actually going to say Dara O' Briain.

Dara O' Briain, says Danny, and here is your red line.

You've got to get below that with Dara O' Briain.

It's right.

-You've done it.

-Yes!

-Very well done indeed.

Down it goes. 29. APPLAUSE

Superb.

82 is your total.

Very well played, Danny. Terrific answer.

Let's go through the rest of this board.

Now, Matt, you had a little thought

about the guy in the middle.

-Yes.

-Who do you think that was?

-I thought it was Patrice O'Neal.

-It's Shaquille O'Neal.

-Oh!

-Just as well.

-It's Shaquille O'Neal.

Would have scored three points, though, if you had got his name

right, it would have been a great answer. So, in a way, well done.

-Now, let's look at the...

-And Richard, on the golfer,

if we'd said Christy O'Connor, would you have said,

"No, it's got to be Christy O'Connor Jr?"

If you'd said Christy O'Connor, I would have said

-"No, it's got to be Mark O'Meara."

-LAUGHTER

There you go! You see?

Oh, well, of course, I couldn't see cos of the hat!

-And the arm.

-That is Mark O'Meara, would have scored you five points.

The only pointless answer on the board is next to Mark O'Meara there.

Eugene O'Neill. Very well done if you said that at home.

Next to him, Daniel O'Donnell, of course,

Daniel O'Donnell would have scored 33.

Second row, Paul O'Grady, 55.

Ronnie O'Sullivan, 48.

And on the bottom row there, Tina O'Brien from Corrie,

10 points, and Dermot O'Leary with 44.

So, the best answer on the board Eugene O'Neill.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, we are at the end of our first round, and I'm sorry to say,

-Jon and Jan, you are our high-scorers with 111.

-Aww!

-I'm so sorry.

-I'm so sorry.

-It's been lovely having you on.

Thank you so much for playing. Jon and Jan, fabulous.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so, just like that, we are down to three pairs.

At the end of this round, we will have to say goodbye to another pair

in time for our head-to-head round.

Ronni, hats off to you.

Dolores O'Riordan, fabulous answer there.

-Very well done.

-I just... Well...

-Oh, we had a good one from you, Rory, as well.

-Yeah.

And we had Richard O'Brien, which is our second lowest score as well,

-so very well done.

-Rocky Horror.

And very well done, Francine and Danny as well.

Great to have you all here for Round Two.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two this evening...

..is musicians.

It's musicians. Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question is all about...

-musicians in haiku.

-What? What?

I don't even know where that is.

-I hope this is multiple choice!

-Musicians in haiku.

It's not as bad as it sounds.

We are going to give you six clues on each board.

The answer to each clue is a famous musician.

But the clues are in the form of a haiku - that's a Japanese poem -

five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables.

But it's simply clues to famous musicians.

Six on the first board, six on the second,

12 in all to have a go at it at home.

-Best of luck.

-There we are.

So, not that bad, as it turns out.

Here's our first board of haikus. And we have...

I shall read those all one last time.

Francine.

Oh. OK, so the top one, which is going to be Madness.

OK. Francine is saying Madness.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Madness.

It's right.

-Oh!

-73.

Not bad. APPLAUSE

Not bad. 73.

A whole lot better than 100.

Yeah. Do you know, House Of Fun was their only ever UK number one,

-Madness?

-Isn't that extraordinary?

-Isn't that mental when you think

-of the amount of hits they had?

-Yeah.

There we are. Thank you very much.

-Matt.

-Yeah.

-Aha.

-Ha-ha!

I'm thinking tactically here.

I'm going to go for the bottom one, which is Daft Punk.

Daft Punk, says Matt.

-Very good.

-Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Daft Punk.

It's right.

Oh, it's a good answer, as well. Look at that. Down it goes to 15!

-Oh!

-Very well done indeed, Matt.

APPLAUSE Superb.

-15. Good job.

-Yeah, always wear those helmets.

Beneath the helmets they are Thomas Bangalter

and Shaquille O'Neal.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now, then, Alistair. This board is all yours.

If you wanted to go through all those haikus.

I only know two of those.

I just hope that not that many people remember

Eminem.

-Eminem.

-Who was the rapper from Detroit.

Slim Shady, says Alistair. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Eminem.

It's right.

You pass 73.

56. There we are. 56 for Eminem. APPLAUSE

He won the silver medal in the 1997 Rap Olympics, Eminem,

back when he was Marshall Mathers.

Wow. Who took gold?

-Maria Sharapova.

-LAUGHTER

Now, let's fill in the rest of this board, shall we?

-Destiny's Child star...

-Beyonce.

-Beyonce.

Look at that score, though, 70.

-Big score. Disco supergroup...

-Earth, Wind And Fire.

-Oh, wow.

-17 for that, would have been a great answer.

Now, you know this is the Spice Girls.

What do you think this would score?

I would have thought probably in the 80s. 87.

96.

-No!

-96 points.

-Look at that.

-How about that? The best answer on the board was Daft Punk, Matt Forde, well done.

There we go. Thank you very much indeed. Well, we're halfway through

the round. Let's take a look at those scores to see where we are.

-Now, 15, Matt. Very well done indeed.

-Thank you.

-Then up to 56.

Quite a big hike up there where we find Alistair and Ronni.

And then across to 73, where we find Francine and Danny.

Now, you're not far ahead, but you are ahead.

So, Danny, let's find a nice low-scoring answer on this next board.

-It's all up to you.

-Very best of luck with that.

That, I hope, will keep you in the game. We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more haikus up on the board, and here they come.

We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

-Ronni.

-OK.

This is... This is quite a well-known answer,

but I'm going to go for Page and Plant's rock group.

-And that's Led Zeppelin.

-Led Zeppelin, says Ronni.

Led Zeppelin. Here is your red line.

If you get below that red line, you are definitely in the head-to-head.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Led Zeppelin.

It's right.

Not bad. 34.

APPLAUSE 34.

This is going to be very, very interesting.

You might have kept yourselves in the game there.

-90 is your total.

-Not a bad answer at all.

Led Zeppelin II spent over 100 weeks in the charts in the top 40,

and it knocked Abbey Road off number one.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Now, then, Rory.

-Hello.

-Rory. 74 or less.

-Righto. OK.

I'm going to go with the '80s synth pop band, which Russell Harty

memorably described as "Dorren Dorren".

-It's Duran Duran.

-OK, Duran Duran.

Here is your red line. Nice and high.

If you can get below that with Duran Duran,

you are through to the head-to-head.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Duran Duran.

It's right. And you're through.

Oh, just! Look at that! APPLAUSE

-Not by much!

-That's a tight fit.

Back to the '80s. 68, taking your total up to 83.

Yeah, Andy Taylor famously got injured filming

the Save A Prayer video. He fell out of a tree.

That's not what injured him.

He fell into a lake which is also not what injured him.

He then caught a bug from the lake,

-because it was an elephant toilet.

-MURMURS OF DISGUST

-That's nice, isn't it?

-It is nice.

Now, Danny. You have to score 16 or less.

-Yeah.

-But you have all of this board to choose from.

Do you want to walk us through it?

There's sort of two that are left that I would know.

I'm going to go with...

-..Madonna.

-For which one?

The... Sort of...

-Holiday.

-Holiday, there we go.

Fourth one down. Madonna, says Danny.

-That's going to be high.

-Well, there is your red line.

You have to get below that red line with Madonna.

Let's see if that is the queen of pop.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Madonna.

It's right.

Ooh! Look at that, 82! APPLAUSE

I knew it would be a high answer.

It was just... It was either that one or the one at the bottom.

And it was just very obvious. I didn't know the rest, so...

Danny, that's a punishingly high score there.

It scores you 82, takes your total up to 155.

So, let's fill in the rest of these, and start at the bottom there.

The X Factor one. One Direction.

That would have scored you 72 points.

-The Davies brothers were...

-The Kinks.

-The Kinks.

That was 45. The best answer on the board was born Dylan Mills.

-Dizzee Rascal.

-Dizzee Rascal, Matt.

Absolutely. It would have scored you six points.

-Who knew?

-Matt knew.

There we are. Thanks very much, Richard.

So, at the end of the second round, the pair we have to say goodbye to,

with their high score of 155,

I'm so sorry, Danny and Francine, 'tis you.

It's been lovely having you on. Thank you so much for playing.

-Thank you.

-Danny and Francine. APPLAUSE

But for Alistair and Ronni, Rory and Matt,

it's time for our head-to-head. APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Alistair and Ronni, Rory and Matt.

You're now one step closer to the final and a chance to play for that

jackpot, which currently stands at £2,500.

APPLAUSE

So, this is the point where we have to decide who plays

for that jackpot, and we do it by making you go head-to-head.

But the difference is you can play as teams from here on in.

You can chat before you give your answers.

The first pair to win two questions

will be playing for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

Here's your first question, and it concerns...

-What?

-Female actors in male roles, Richard.

I'm going to show you five pictures now of female actors being or

pretending to be men.

We just need you to tell us the name of the actors, please.

-Very best of luck.

-OK, let's reveal our five female actors.

Here they come. We have got...

There we are. Five female actors in male roles.

Alistair and Ronni. You've been our low scorers up to this point,

-so you will go first.

-Oh, really? Oh!

-OK.

-We're going to go with D.

Yeah.

-Cate Blanchett.

-Cate Blanchett...

As Bob Dylan.

..say Alistair and Ronni. Cate Blanchett. Now, Rory and Matt.

That board's all yours. Do you want to talk us through it

-and have a shot at each one?

-A is Gwyneth Paltrow, we think.

B is Barbra Streisand.

C is Kathy Burke, definitely Kathy Burke.

And D and E, we don't know.

We'll go with Kathy Burke, I think.

OK. We're going to say C, Kathy Burke.

C, Kathy Burke. So, we have D, Cate Blanchett and C, Kathy Burke.

Alistair and Ronni have said that Cate Blanchett is D.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people went for

Cate Blanchett.

It's right, it is Cate Blanchett.

Oh, it's good. Down it goes. Look at that. Down it goes.

Two, that's a brilliant answer. APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed, Alistair and Ronni.

Cate Blanchett,

absolutely right there. Now, Rory and Matt, went for C, Kathy Burke.

Let's see if it's right, let's see if that has paid off.

OK, so it's correct.

Lower, lower, lower. Come on, get lower.

-There we are. 30.

-It's not bad.

-APPLAUSE

Not bad at all, but it means very well done, Alistair and Ronni,

after one question, you are up 1-0.

Now, A is Gwyneth Paltrow,

would have been a slightly better score than Kathy Burke,

but wouldn't have won you the point. 21 points for that.

B, of course, is Barbra Streisand.

That's a bigger scorer, 56.

Now, E, it's a pointless answer.

If you look very closely, it's a very young Shaquille O'Neal.

It's actually the first person ever to play Peter Pan on film.

It's Betty Bronson.

Very well done if you said that. You got yourself a pointless answer.

Thanks very much indeed. So, here comes your second question.

Rory and Matt, you get to answer it first but you have to win this one

to stay in the game, so best of luck with that.

Our second question this evening is all about...

The nation's favourite paintings.

Simply going to give you five paintings now from a poll of

the nation's favourite paintings, but we've missed out

alternate letters from the names of the paintings.

Can you tell us what they are, please?

OK, thanks very much. Let's reveal our five paintings.

And here they are, with missing bits.

We've got...

I'll read those again.

Now, Rory and Matt will go first.

OK.

OK, this could be wrong, but we'll go for it anyway, OK?

We are going to go for the top one, Rembrandt, it's The Night Watch.

The Night Watch, say Rory and Matt.

The Night Watch. Now then, Alistair and Ronni.

Do you want to talk us through the others?

Yes, well, the Hay Wain is the Constable,

Water Lilies is the Monet.

Sunflowers is the Van Gogh.

But we think we're going to go for Hockney.

Which is A Bigger Splash.

-A Bigger Splash. MATT:

-Of course!

So we have The Night Watch, and we have A Bigger Splash.

Can we...?

I think that one might be right, so...

-Yeah, it is.

-Rory and Matt have gone for The Night Watch.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said

-The Night Watch.

-That's a very good answer.

-Hockney wins it, I'm sure.

-No, I think...

-I think you're fine.

-Here we go.

It's right, The Night Watch.

Oh, that's brilliant.

Down it goes. Not bad at all. Still going down. Look at that.

Down it goes to 18, not bad at all. APPLAUSE

18 for the Night Watch.

-AS BRUCE FORSYTH:

-What do you think? Lower? Higher? Higher or lower?

Alistair and Ronni have gone for A Bigger Splash.

I think it's lower.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our

100 people said A Bigger Splash.

It is right.

And it wins you the point.

Look at that. Down it goes to four, very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE After two questions,

Alistair and Ronni, that is decisive.

-You are straight through to the final, 2-0.

-Very, very impressive.

Well played. Great performance.

And the best two answers on the board as well, so well played,

both teams there. The Hay Wain, John Constable would have scored you 47.

Water Lilies would have scored you 67.

And Sunflowers would have scored you 55.

So, well done at home if you said A Bigger Splash.

Thank you very much, Richard.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round, I'm afraid,

-Rory and Matt.

-I'm sorry.

-I'm sorry.

-It's going to take them years to get over it.

He won't talk to me now for at least a fortnight.

-Not as myself.

-That is such good news.

-LAUGHTER

-There's an upside.

The consolation is that it's been lovely having you on.

Thank you so much for playing. Rory and Matt, fantastic.

APPLAUSE

But for Ronni and Alistair, it's now time for our Pointless final.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Alistair and Ronni.

You have fought off all the competition and you have won

our coveted Pointless trophy.

I'm so excited about that.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £2,500.

APPLAUSE

Well, what a performance.

The whole way through. 2-0 in the head-to-head, but both your scores,

single figure scores, absolutely fantastic.

You know what happens in this last round,

we put four sort of semi-impossible things up on the board and you pick

the one that scares you the least,

and hope there's something behind it that you can flounder around in.

Thanks, Xander. I feel strangely comforted now(!)

It's how it works. Today's choices look like this.

You have got...

So it's between Seans and sport, I think.

What do you think?

I can't believe I'm going to say this,

because I would be better at Acting Seans,

but I think, under pressure,...

And you've got everything right so far, this is my moment.

-Yes, it's his...

-So Sport in 2003, it is.

-There we are.

-OK, very best of luck.

Three very different questions here.

One of these might suit you very nicely, I think.

We're looking for any of the 20 drivers who scored

at least one point in the 2003 Formula 1 championship.

-Oh, no!

-That's not a sport!

We are looking for anyone who played in the Cricket World Cup final...

When you said you were good at sport...

..between Australia and India, the 11 players on each of those teams.

Or we're looking for any of the England squad who played in the

Rugby World Cup final against Australia.

Any of the 19 people who actually went onto the pitch

for England against Australia in that final.

So Formula 1 drivers, anyone who scored at least a point,

anyone from the Australian and Indian teams in the

Cricket World Cup final, or any of the 19 players in the England squad

who actually played at some point during the World Cup final in 2003.

-Against Australia.

-OK, now, as always,

you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot is for just one of your answers to be

-pointless. Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Good.

Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

Right, Ronni, you watched the rugby World Cup final, I didn't.

So who was in that team? There was Jonny Wilkinson.

-Martin Johnson.

-Martin Johnson.

-Lewis Moody, I think.

-Lewis Moody.

-Jonny Wilkinson.

-Is he the one with the bad nose?

Attractive but with a bad nose.

I don't know. Matt somebody.

-Matt...

-Matt Dawson.

-Matt from Question Of Sport, Matt Dawson.

I think it's not going to be pointless.

Lewis Moody might be pointless.

-But we need somebody further down that list.

-Oh, no. Oh, no.

-I have no idea.

-You watched it.

-I didn't watch it.

-You did.

You watched it. You watched it all the way through.

We were making our show and we argued about it because I said

"I don't care." And you said, "I want to watch it, but my husband..."

Strangely enough, that was a long time ago and I can't remember

-much about rugby players now.

-So you've got Martin Johnson,

he's not going to be pointless.

Lewis Moody, I think.

-Lewis Moody.

-Who else has gone on to manage?

Because they have probably all become managers or pundits.

I don't know. I don't know.

Who was in goal? Who played in goal?

-Ten seconds left.

-Trick question.

I don't know. Sorry, I went for the sport.

Cricketers, I haven't got a clue. Formula 1 is not a sport!

OK, that is your time up. I now need your three answers.

So we've got to go for the Rugby World Cup.

We only know the main ones.

They're not going to be pointless.

We will go for Martin Johnson.

-Martin Johnson.

-Who everyone will know.

Matt Dawson, but...

-Matt Dawson.

-And I think there was somebody called Lewis Moody,

who I met at a party and was very nice.

He had a squashed nose.

And Lewis Moody, but you thought was handsome, which is nice.

-He's a very nice man.

-There we are.

Of those three, which do you think is your best shot at a pointless

-answer?

-Lewis Moody.

-Lewis Moody.

-Lewis Moody goes last.

If he exists. He might have been in Pink Floyd, I'm not sure.

I like the parties you go to, Alistair, I have to say.

I can't believe you wanted sport!

So, Lewis Moody goes last.

Least likely person to be pointless?

-Matt Dawson.

-OK.

Well, let's put those answers up on the board in that order, then.

And here they are. We have...

Well, very, very best of luck. Three good answers up there.

What are your charities?

If you were to win and that money were to go to your charity.

-Is this it? Is this the last thing?

-Yes.

-We don't have another...?

OK, Sight Savers, which is an amazing charity that goes to Africa

and does cataract operations and corneas...

Amazing. Saves the sight of hundreds of thousands of people.

-Wonderful. Alistair?

-Mine is Tusk Trust,

who do wonderful work to save these beautiful elephants

that we are threatening with extinction, from that awful fate.

Very good. APPLAUSE

Two excellent charities there.

Let's hope one of these answers will win that jackpot for your charities.

So your first answer was Matt Dawson.

In this case, and in fact in every case,

we are looking for England squad members who played in the 2003

Rugby World Cup final. Any English player.

Only one of your answers has to be pointless for you to win that

jackpot of £2,500 for your charities.

Let's see how many people said Matt Dawson.

Is it right? Is it pointless?

OK, well, Matt Dawson is absolutely right.

Taking us down through the 50s, through the 40s,

if it goes all the way down to zero,

your charities will benefit to the tune of £2,500.

Down it goes through the single figures.

5, that's great. APPLAUSE

-This is a fantastic answer.

-I didn't expect that.

Do people not watch A Question Of Sport?

Now, there we are. The last three answers you've given

have been single figure scores. Fantastic, congratulations.

Sadly, not a pointless answer, though.

And at this stage, we are only interested in pointless answers.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer, which was Martin Johnson.

Again, we're looking for England players

in the 2003 Rugby World Cup final. Let's see how many of how many

of our 100 people said Martin Johnson, for £2,500,

is it pointless?

-Again, it's right.

-It's right.

Matt Dawson took us all the way down to 5.

Martin Johnson now takes this down through the 30s.

Through the 20s, into the teens.

Down it goes. Oh, 15. 15 for Martin Johnson.

APPLAUSE

-OK.

-You have no idea.

-I don't know if he exists.

Now, everything is riding on your third and final answer,

which you had no hesitation putting last, Lewis Moody.

Your best shot at a pointless answer.

Let's find out in this case.

Lewis Moody. We are looking for England players from the

2003 Rugby World Cup final.

For £2,500, how many people said Lewis Moody? Does he exist?

-He does.

-He exists!

He very much exists.

And he's a correct answer.

Now, your first answer, Matt Dawson, took us down to 5.

Your second answer, Martin Johnson, down to 15.

-We have passed 15.

-Oh, no, no, no.

-We're in to single figures.

Past 5, down it goes, it still goes down.

Yes, you've done it! APPLAUSE

Superb. Brilliant. Very well done indeed.

I knew something about rugby!

Well, congratulations, Lewis Moody, of course he exists.

He's a pointless answer.

Which means you go home with that £2,500 for your charities.

Very well done indeed, Alistair and Ronni.

APPLAUSE

And that's also terrific validation for Lewis Moody, that he does exist.

That's very good news. Yes, 71 caps for England, Lewis Moody.

Flanker. And he once met you at a party, I believe.

-Yes.

-And it turns out to be a very fortuitous meeting.

Quite. I don't remember any of the others. They didn't meet me.

Let's take a look now at the answers in the different categories.

We'll start with Formula 1. Lots of people know their Formula 1.

There's some answers you'll get here.

Also could have had Cristiano di Mata, Heinz-Harald Frentzen,

Justin Wilson, the Brit, Marc Gene, Olivier Panis,

Ralph Firman and Takuma Sato. All of those pointless answers.

Very well done if you said any of those.

-Not a sport.

-It's not a sport, apparently.

Let's take a look at the cricketers now.

Everyone apart from Ricky Ponting, Glenn McGrath, Sachin Tendulkar,

Adam Gilchrist, Matthew Hayden and Brett Lee.

Everyone else was a pointless answer, in that final.

Let's take a look at rugby now.

Some big names here from English rugby.

Also could have hired Ian Balshaw, Steve Thompson and Trevor Woodman.

All of those were pointless answers.

Very well done if you got any of those at home,

and terrific stuff in the studio.

-Also, a lot of jeopardy, right?

-Absolutely.

You left it right to the end, which was perfect.

-That's how we like it.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

And thanks once again to our winning players, Alistair and Ronni,

who go away with today's jackpot of £2,500 for their charities.

Very well done. APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge

to the test on Pointless. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me.

Goodbye.