Strictly Pointless Celebrities

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and a very warm welcome

to this special Strictly edition of Pointless Celebrities,

the show where obvious answers mean nothing

and obscure answers mean everything.

Let's meet today's Pointless celebrities.

APPLAUSE

-Couple number one.

-I'm Russell Grant and I once got shot out of a canon.

I'm Chris Hollins and I think I won it in 2009.

-I know I was drunk but I definitely didn't dance with you!

-No.

-I'm sure about that.

-It's true, he didn't.

APPLAUSE

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Jay McGuiness, Glitterball champion.

OTHER CONTESTANTS GROAN APPLAUSE

I'm Aliona Vilani and I'm the better half of that winning Glitterball.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Couple number three.

I'm Erin Boag and I did ten years of Strictly Come Dancing

and I dance professionally with Anton.

-That's me.

-LAUGHTER

I'm Anton Du Beke and I wished I danced with Brendan Cole.

Ah...

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

-And, finally, couple number four.

-And that is me.

-And I wished I'd danced with Anton Du Beke as well.

-We'd have won.

But, unfortunately, Anton, this is my favourite partner and she is...

-I am Sophie Ellis-Bextor.

-Nice timing, see that?

We worked on that. Maybe that's why we didn't win.

-Yeah, I'm Sophie Ellis-Bextor and Brendan taught me how to dance.

-Ah.

APPLAUSE

Welcome, all of you.

We'll get to chat to each of you throughout the show.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He's wearing his baggy trousers for that added ballroom touch.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya.

Hey, everybody. Good evening.

APPLAUSE

Ah, let's not talk about my American Smooth.

-Now, I love doing these Strictly shows, don't you?

-Yes.

They're always fun, always competitive, always lovely to do.

We've got some of the real heroes,

some of the real legends of Strictly here.

We've also got some winners of Strictly here.

We've also got Anton Du Beke.

LAUGHTER

-BRENDAN:

-Harsh but fair, harsh but fair.

-ERIN:

-That's SO harsh.

-There's always next year.

-Yeah.

-So they keep telling me.

This should be an absolute cracker. Round One...

There's loads of good pointless answers

but it's one of those ones where, you know, we'll see.

-Some people may struggle.

-Thank you, Richard.

As usual, all of today's questions have been put to 100 people

before the show. Our contestants here are on the hunt

for those all-important pointless answers -

the answers that none of our 100 people gave.

Find one of those and we'll add £250 to the jackpot.

As today's show is a celebrity special,

each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity,

we're going to start off with a jackpot of £2,500.

APPLAUSE

If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

Just remember, it's the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round that will be eliminated.

So, whatever you do, make sure your scores are nice and low.

-Oh, I've got loads of THEM!

-LAUGHTER

Also, no conferring, remember - ha, ha, ha -

till we get to the head-to-head round.

Good luck with that. Our first category this evening is...

-I've got words, lots of words.

-It's a Words round.

Can you decide in your pairs who's going first, who's going second.

Shall you or I go first?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name...

..as many words ending in "IRE"

as they could. Words ending in "IRE", Richard.

That little move where people step up to the podium

is always done so beautifully on our Strictly specials.

Beautiful to watch.

-I glided. I barely touched the surface.

-I didn't even see you move.

I thought you were on ice. It was amazing.

That's another show that's been cancelled. I won't discuss that.

We're looking for any word which has its own entry

in the British and World English section of oxforddictionaries.com,

please, that ends "IRE".

As always, no proper nouns, no hyphenated words.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Now then, Chris.

-Oh, Chris. He's thinking.

-Yeah.

-He's at thought.

Just while you're thinking,

just tell me a little bit about winning Strictly.

-It was a while ago.

-It's a long, long time ago. I had one chin.

-I've now developed two.

-You haven't! That's a lie.

-LAUGHTER

-Enough of that!

It was fantastic experience. I didn't dance with Russell.

I danced with Ola Jordan, who was a brilliant instructor,

great mate of mine, and we had a ball.

But I always say it was a weak year.

It must have been for me to win it

and if I'd been with the likes of Jay,

I'd have gone out first round.

-And you did the tour as well.

-Did the tour.

-Now, that is really hard work.

-Really?

-Yeah.

You showbiz luvvies, you love the matinee in the evening.

You weren't doing two shows a day, were you?

Yeah, I was doing Breakfast in the morning.

We all do that. That's normal.

Not EAT breakfast, but the Breakfast programme.

And then drive up the motorway to Nottingham,

do the afternoon show and then do the evening show

and then drive back overnight to go and do Breakfast again.

There we are. Now then, Chris, it's words ending "IRE".

-I've got one, I think.

-Mmm-hmm.

Just tell me when you want me to give it to you.

Listen, any time you like, Chris, it's fine.

You're a trooper. You can do it.

Come on, I've got breakfast in the morning.

-OK, I'm going to say "Esquire".

-"Esquire", says Chris.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for "Esquire".

It's right.

Look at that! Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE Chris, 4.

That's a great start to the round and a great start to the show.

Nice start, Chris. Very well played.

There's loads of good answers, loads of low answers as well.

You put "Esquire" at the end of a man's name

when you don't use any other title.

-We don't use it so much any more.

-We don't tend to, no. On letters I do.

-Do you?

-Yeah, if I'm addressing a letter, I'll put "Esquire".

-You will not! Would you really?

-Yeah, I do.

To who? Who are you writing to?

If I were writing to you, I would write to Richard Osman, Esquire.

-No, you would not!

-I promise I would.

-I always put "Esq" at the end.

-No, you don't!

-I do!

-Does anyone else do that?

-AUDIENCE:

-No.

-Do you really?

-Always.

-That's so classy of you.

Invite me to something, I'll write you a thank you letter.

Right, phew, I'm going to get you something.

-I'll either buy you something or upset you in some way.

-OK.

-And force you to write me a letter.

-OK.

Jay, Esquire, welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here.

So, the Glitterball, is it the same Glitterball which has your name on

and then you have to give it back or do you get to keep it?

-You give it back and you get a slightly dodgier replica.

-OK.

It's a bit rickety but from far away, it looks really good.

That's good. Where do you keep your Glitterball?

Mine actually is in my brother's house

and he has it in his downstairs bathroom. And that's not a lie.

-That's classy.

-It is.

People often say, "I just keep it in the downstairs loo."

-You keep it in the downstairs loo of your brother's house.

-Yeah.

-Too many awards, so little space.

-Absolutely.

-ERIN:

-Ah...

Now, I have too much space and not enough awards, isn't that funny?

Jay, Jay, Jay. Now, what you would like to go for? Words ending "IRE".

-I'm going to go for "Underwire".

-"Underwire". Oh, this is very good.

-This is like proper Pointless, isn't it?

-Yeah, that's very nice.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said "Underwire".

Oh, it's good.

Come on, come on.

Ooh, look, down to 1!

APPLAUSE Down to 1, Jay.

Very well done indeed.

That's great work, Jay. Very well played. "Underwire".

It's what Geordies wear under their clothes.

LAUGHTER Thank you very much indeed.

Erin, welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here. Here's the thing.

If somebody wins Strictly, are they, therefore, good enough

to hack it as proper professional dancers?

-ANTON SPLUTTERS

-Oh...

Um, not as a professional dancer, no.

-The professional dancers, they train for years.

-Yeah.

And the professional dancers on Strictly, they are phenomenal.

-Phenomenal.

-Phenomenal.

-Phenomenal.

-Yeah.

I mean, they could go out and they could do

a pre-champ competition and, no offence or anything...

No offence taken, I couldn't do it.

But when it gets down to it, I don't think they could.

But also, you have to remember

-that they only really know that routine that they're taught.

-I see.

So if you ask them now to go and do a waltz, just make one up,

fit it into this space, I doubt they could do that.

You've answered the question brilliantly.

-But what they achieve on the programme is great.

-Is remarkable.

-Yes, it is.

-But you can tell by the deportment.

Just look at the pair of you, for heaven's sake.

-Just the beauty, even standing still.

-I like that - "the beauty".

-There's such beauty and grace there.

-Beauty and grace.

Now, Erin, how are you feeling about our words ending in "IRE"?

Um, OK. Yes, I think so.

-OK.

-"Empire".

-"Empire".

-Yes.

OK, "Empire". Let us see how many of our 100 people said "Empire".

-Oh!

-Oh...

-It's a start.

-It's a start.

-Oh... Keep going, keep going.

It's a start.

-Look at that! 4. Very well done indeed.

-That's good!

APPLAUSE

-Very well done. 4 for "Empire."

-That's good.

-Well played, Erin.

So far, Esquire is a magazine, Empire is a magazine.

I bet if you looked hard enough,

there'd be a magazine called Underwire. I bet.

-Thank you very much indeed. Now, Sophie.

-Hello.

Sophie, talk us through the Strictly calendar.

When you decide to do it, you sign up,

what sort of time of year is that?

-I presume you have to keep it a secret.

-You're supposed to, yes.

But I can't make big decisions without involving a few people,

so... I think it was summertime when I was asked to do it.

And when does the regime start?

Er, I think it was late August, if I remember rightly.

-Does that sound about right? September kind of time.

-Yeah.

And then, because we were lucky enough to get to the final,

you do it for three or four months.

My mum says it's the closest I've come

-to having a steady job since I left school.

-Yeah.

-It's actually true.

But you must have done lots of dancing though.

As a singer, you do quite a lot of dancing, don't you?

If you look closely,

I've done videos where people are dancing around me

but not really participating that much in it myself.

I love watching people dance

but I'd never had any dance lessons before I did the show.

Have you upped your dance quotient in your act since doing Strictly?

I think it helps you lose your inhibitions.

It gave me a bit more confidence but I don't even know where I'd go

to locally ballroom dance,

-so I haven't been able to do any of that stuff.

-Me neither.

Sophie, what would you like to go for?

-We've had some very impressive scores.

-Some really good ones.

I think, due to the sort of nature of the tension in the room,

-I'll go for "Perspire".

-"Perspire". Oh, that is good.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for "Perspire".

Go on, Sophie! Go on, Sophie!

13 for "Perspire".

APPLAUSE 13.

I'm hoping there's not a magazine called Perspire.

-I don't think I'd like to read that.

-No.

-Maybe laminated.

-Mmm.

An absorbing read. GROANS AND LAUGHTER

Thank you very much indeed. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores.

1, Jay and Aliona. Looking very strong at this point.

Then we travel up to 4,

where we find Erin, Anton, Chris and Russell, alike as they lie.

And then up to 13,

where we find Sophie and Brendan.

So, Brendan, you are just out in front there,

so we need a nice low score from you to even things up.

Thank you for the pressure!

Good luck with that.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

-OK, Brendan, remember we're looking for words ending in "IRE".

-Yes.

Brendan, if you go to a wedding -

let's say it's the wedding of a nephew or a niece -

and you dance,

do you find you have to sort of tone down your dancing a bit?

It's a really weird thing

because you do feel a sense of pressure,

even if you're just standing there bopping on your own.

And my wife won't dance with me any more

-because heads just sort of start to judge.

-Yeah.

Um, Brendan, you're behind at the moment, we need a nice low score.

-Right.

-"IRE".

-"Conspire".

-Ah, very nice!

-Oh...

That's a magazine for spies, I suppose.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said "Conspire".

There's no red line for you, as you're the high-scorers.

-It is right.

-Phew.

Go on, Sophie. Go on, Sophie. Go on, Sophie. Go on, Sophie.

-Look at that! 5.

-Well done.

-APPLAUSE

-I like it.

-18 is your total.

Might have done enough.

To join together to be fraudulent in some way - to conspire.

Thank you very much indeed. Now then, Anton.

Come on!

-So, Anton, 13 series.

-Yes.

-No Glitterball for you,

-no trophy.

-Not yet.

-What's it going to take for you to win?

-A miracle!

-LAUGHTER

What is it? I mean, you've come close. You had Kate.

It's not ME! I'm really, really good!

LAUGHTER Which was the closest you came?

Who was your partner who came closest? Probably Katie?

I tell you who was tremendous - Ann Widdecombe.

We finished fifth, dancing together.

We were that close to the final. The week we got voted off,

-Gavin Henson took his shirt off.

-Ah!

Yeah, that was why. That was the only reason why.

-That was the only reason.

-LAUGHTER

-Now, Anton.

-Yes.

-You're on 4.

-If you can score 13 or less, Round Two awaits.

-Oh, no pressure(!)

-How about "Dire"?

-What about that? What about that?

Here is your red line.

If you can get below this red line with "Dire",

you're through to Round Two. How many people said it?

Oh...

-Oh!

-Ah...

-Appropriately...

-It WAS dire!

-LAUGHTER

That is the highest score so far.

-62, taking your total up to 66, Anton.

-Mmm.

Anton just taking the opportunity to get a big score for once.

-I think that's the thing, isn't it?

-That's all it was.

I reckon that would have been a total

of three months worth of dances, to have got that.

Thanks very much indeed.

-Aliona, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you very much.

Now you've done Dancing With The Stars over in America as well.

-A little bit, yes.

-How seriously do they take it over there?

It's almost like a different show.

It's very different style there

and they do different styles to Strictly.

-You can't really compare.

-Really?

-Cos things just stop for Strictly here.

-Yes.

It does seize the whole...

There are very few programmes, apart from Pointless, that do that,

that just seize public imagination like that.

Um, Strictly is the number one show in the UK.

-Dancing With The Stars, not so much.

-When they say "Stars",

what kind of stars are they? Who are the people on that?

Pamela Anderson did it, the Backstreet Boys...

OK, very good indeed. Aliona, listen, you are on 1.

This is perfect. Jay has set you up beautifully here.

-66 is the high score. If you can score 64 or less...

-Yes.

I think people are going to find out

that HE is the better half of that Glitterball now.

Um...

I'll go for the obvious, "Hire".

-"Hire".

-"Hire".

OK, will it be "hire" than "dire", I wonder. "Hire".

There is your red line. You want to be lower with "Hire".

Let's see how many of our 100 people said "Hire".

It's right.

-Yes!

-You've done it! Look at that! 60.

APPLAUSE Look at that!

-By this much!

-61 is your total.

Very well done indeed on podium two. Look at that.

That was some drama right there.

"Hire" - it's what I say at the start of every show.

Thank you very much indeed. Russell, now then, Russell.

-Welcome back to Pointless.

-Third time.

-Third time.

-Yeah.

-What's your record on Pointless?

-Always go out in Round Two.

-OK.

-I did better in Strictly.

-Let's see what happens this time.

Russell, did you find after you'd done Strictly,

did your dance change, your approach to the floor?

-You made it through to the eighth week.

-I know!

Well, it's down to Flavia, really.

I just sort of hung around and wait for her to come up with great ideas,

which she did every week.

It changed in the fact that I trained as an actor

and the first thing I did straight after Strictly was

I took over from Michael Crawford in The Wizard Of Oz

-at the London Palladium and saw my name on buses.

-Wow!

-Do you get to keep your costumes from Strictly?

-I bought most of them

but they're all hanging up in my mother's wardrobe!

LAUGHTER

Now, Russell, there you are on 4.

Our high-scorers are still Anton and Erin on 66.

61 is what you require.

When you go a restaurant, you get some nasty green stuff on there,

which I think is called "Samphire".

Oh, that's good! You got a hum.

That was the first hum we've had of the evening, I think,

from our assembled audience here. There is your red line.

"Samphire". Is it going to get you below that red line?

It's perfectly good. Look at that!

It's a pointless answer, Russell.

That is fantastic!

A pointless answer adds £250 to today's jackpot.

Takes the total up to £2,750. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

It scores you nothing. It leaves your total at 4.

I love it. I want a plateful.

-Yeah, delicious. Mmm, oh! Very well done indeed, Russell.

-Thank you.

Samphire for us all.

It's a member of the parsley family, samphire. Terrific answer.

Loads of good pointless answers out here.

Terrific that we got one during the round. Have you got an answer?

Um, I'll go for..."Crossfire".

-"Crossfire"?

-Mmm.

-Is a pointless answer.

-Ah!

-Very well done.

-Great!

-Very well done.

There's loads of good ones.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers here.

All of these would have added money to the jackpot.

As well as "Millionaire", you could have had "Billionaire".

You also, genuinely, could have had "Squillionaire".

You could have "Bazillionaire" or "Gazillionaire".

All of those are pointless answers. They're all in the dictionary.

All those ones ending "AIRE" seemed to flummox our 100.

You also could have had "Commissionaire", "Extraordinaire",

"Reacquire", "Tripwire", "Wildfire". Let's take a look

at the top three answers. A couple of these may be familiar.

These are the ones that most of our 100 people said.

It could have been worse - you could have said "Fire",

-which would have got you 77.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

So, at the end of our first round, the pair we are sending home,

I'm so sorry, Anton and Erin. Far too soon.

Sorry to see you go. Just go over there.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

-Thank you so much, Anton and Erin.

-Thank you.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

APPLAUSE

Look at that. Suddenly, we're down to three pairs.

It's getting very exciting now, isn't it?

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two this evening is...People.

Can you decide in your pairs who's going first, who's going second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, the question concerns...

Famous high school drop-outs. Look at the moves on that first podium.

-It's just beautiful, isn't it?

-You can tell we're amateurs.

-Famous high school drop-outs, Richard.

-On each board,

we're going to show you six clues to people who left school early.

You just have to tell us who they are, please.

There will be six on the first board, six on the second,

12 to have a go at home. Best of luck.

Thank you very much indeed. Let's reveal our first board of clues.

I'll read those one last time.

-Chris. Mmm-hmm.

-Yeah. This is where I went out last time.

I can't think of the Brazilian supermodel's second name,

so I'm going to try and bank one,

so I'm going to go for the bottom one and his name is George Foreman.

George Foreman, says Chris. Let's see if that's right

and how many of our 100 people agree with Mr Hollins.

It is right. George Foreman - good answer.

-47, not bad.

-Sorry.

-APPLAUSE

I don't know any of the others.

Not bad.

Yeah, famously has five sons all called George.

He said, "If you'd been punched as many times

"as I have by Muhammad Ali, you wouldn't remember names either."

LAUGHTER

Jay. Jay, which of our drop-outs is appealing to you?

I'm going to go with the American

who first produced the commercial phonograph.

-Thomas Edison.

-Thomas Edison, says Jay. Let's see if that's right

and how many of our 100 people said Thomas Edison.

It's right.

44, well done. APPLAUSE

-I'm happy with that.

-44 for Thomas Edison.

Well played, Jay.

-His mum was a teacher, so she taught him at home.

-I see.

Now then, Sophie, this board is all yours.

If you want to, you could fill in all our blanks for us.

Um, Simon Cowell, Gisele Bundchen, Katy Perry and Walt Disney.

-But I was going to go for Gisele Bundchen.

-Gisele Bundchen.

Let's see if it's right and how many of our 100 people said it.

It is right.

And look at that. That's our lowest score by a margin.

Look at that. 17. Very well done indeed, Sophie.

APPLAUSE Good scoring there.

Can the noise where they go, "Ooh",

be the noise when I get a text message?

-I love it!

-That's such a good idea.

-Oh...

Ding. Very well played, Sophie. That's the best answer on the board.

She left school at 14. Simon Cowell would have scored you 84 points.

Katy Perry would have scored you 53.

What do you think Walt Disney would have scored?

I think maybe up in the 90s, maybe 97.

-94 points for Walt Disney.

-Very good. Thank you very much.

We're halfway through the round, so let's look at the scores.

17, well done, Sophie. The best score of that pass by a margin.

Then up to 44, where we find Jay and Aliona, and then up to 47,

Chris and Russell. So, Russell,

you're slightly ahead there.

Let's hope there's a nice answer on that board

that would be low-scoring that you know.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more clues up on the board to high school drop-outs.

I'll read those all again.

-Brendan.

-Hello.

Brilliant scoring from Sophie in the first pass

means that 29 or less, even at this stage, keeps you in the game.

Um, well, I think I'd like to go for the most obscure one, maybe,

in this group.

Actor who voices Marty the zebra

and that is Chris Rock.

Chris Rock, says Brendan. Here's your red line.

Get below that and you are into the head-to-head for sure.

Let's see how many people said Chris Rock.

It's right.

Look at that, Brendan, very well done indeed.

17, equalling Sophie's lovely low score in the first pass,

taking your total up to 34. APPLAUSE

Left school before graduating, Chris Rock.

Probably one of the greatest stand-up comedians of all time.

Yeah, definitely that.

Aliona, now then, you're on 44.

If you can score two or less, you're definitely in.

See how far down the column you can get. What will you go for?

-Um... Chris Rock. No, I'm kidding!

-LAUGHTER

Um, the actress whose first film role was in The Mask.

-Cameron Diaz.

-Cameron Diaz,

says Aliona. Here is your red line.

That's quite low. Let's see where you get with Cameron Diaz.

It's right.

That's a good score, Aliona. Look at that.

-27.

-That's good!

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE Second lowest score of the round.

71 is your total.

-You've given Russell quite a hill to climb there.

-Great work, Aliona.

-Left school at 16, Cameron Diaz, to become a model.

-There we are.

-Yeah.

Now, Russell, you're on 47.

That means if you can score 23 or less, you stay with us.

Do you want to talk through the board?

The first one is Quentin Tarantino.

The actress who played I Love Lucy is Lucille Ball.

Charles Dickens wrote David Copperfield.

And Johnny Depp played Edward Scissorhands.

Lucille Ball or Johnny Depp?

-I'll go for Lucille Ball.

-Lucille Ball.

Oh, I know you're right!

-LAUGHTER

-I back you all the way!

Lucille Ball.

-Here is your red line.

-We're going. We're ready to go.

If you can get below that red line with Lucille Ball,

you are through to the head-to-head. Let's see what happens.

Lucille Ball. How many people said it?

It's right.

-No!

-Oh, no! 71 for Lucille Ball, Russell.

I'm afraid that takes your total up to 118.

APPLAUSE

Well, too many old people watch this show, that's the trouble.

-They all know Lucille Ball.

-I know. Do you know what,

it's actually the best one of the ones you could have got.

Quentin Tarantino was a big scorer. Would have scored you 81.

The English novelist is Charles Dickens. He would have scored 89.

And Johnny Depp would have scored 76.

So I got the best out of the four. All right, there we go!

LAUGHTER Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round...

It's always sad at the end of these rounds.

We have to say goodbye to a pair and the pair we have to say goodbye to,

I'm so sorry, Russell. Your judgment was absolutely spot-on.

As Richard says, you got the lowest score.

It's been such a pleasure having you both on. Come back and play again.

-Well, it IS Round Two.

-Oh, it's always Round Two.

There are only two rounds in this programme, right?

Yes, that's right. Russell and Chris.

-Thank you.

-Thank you so much.

-APPLAUSE

But for Sophie and Brendan, Jay and Aliona,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Sophie, Brendan, Jay and Aliona.

You're now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

This is the point where we decide who goes through to the final

to play for that jackpot and we do it by making you go head-to-head.

The big difference is you can now start playing as teams.

-You can confer before you give your answers, which is nice.

-Finally!

Finally. The first player to win two questions

will be playing for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. Lt's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

-Yes!

-"Yes," says Brendan, "I revised this one!" Richard.

We're going to play you five clips from songs now, sung by redheads.

We need you to tell us the name of the artist you are listening to.

OK, this is exciting. Let's have a listen to these five clips

and here they come. We have got...

# I'm out of touch, I'm out of love

# I'll pick you up when you're getting down

# And out of all these things I've done

# I think I love you better now

# I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind

# I'll do it all for you in time... #

Here's B.

# Holding on to one another's hand

# Trying to get away into the night

# And then you put your arms around me

# And we tumble to the ground and then you say

# I think we're alone now

# There doesn't seem to be anyone around... #

Here is C.

# L-O-V-E

# Dance to the beat of my drum Dance to the beat of my drum

# L-O-V-E

# Dance to the beat of my drum Dance to the beat of my drum... #

Here's D.

# Look at me

# You can take it all because this face is free

# Maybe next time use your eyes and look at me... #

And here is E.

# ..You gonna live your life right

# Oh, mamma, dear We're not the fortunate ones

# And girls, they want to have fun

# Oh, girls just want to have fun... #

Our five songs by redheaded musicians.

Now, Sophie and Brendan, you've been our low-scorers,

so you get to go first.

I'm going to go for the one it took me the longest to remember

which was Nicola Roberts from Girls Aloud, the song L.O.V.E.

-I can't remember which order... I think it was three.

-C.

-C.

C, Nicola Roberts, say Sophie and Brendan. Nicola Roberts.

Now then, Jay and Aliona, do you want to talk through the rest?

Yeah, so B took me a while to get and then D was, I think, easy.

-I mean, what do you think?

-Go for B.

OK, I'm going to go with B and this might be our swansong,

but I think B is by Tiffany.

-B, Tiffany.

-Yes.

So, Sophie and Brendan have gone for C, Nicola Roberts,

and Jay and Aliona have said that B was Tiffany. Let's find out.

Sophie and Brendan, Nicola Roberts for C.

Let's see how many of our 100 people got that.

It's right.

-That's a good answer. Look at it. Down it goes...

-Sophie, great stuff!

Look at that! 2. APPLAUSE

Good knowledge, Sophie. Very well done indeed.

There's your reward for that.

Now, Jay and Aliona have gone for Tiffany for B.

Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people said Tiffany.

-It IS Tiffany.

-Yes!

Down it goes as well. That's a great answer.

13 for Tiffany.

APPLAUSE

But the best answer was yours, Sophie and Brendan.

-It means, after one question, you're up 1-0.

-You were born for this game!

Well played, both teams. In the last round, on the way up,

you got the best two answers on the board.

On the way down, you got the best two answers on the board.

And in this first head-to-head question,

you got the best two answers on the board again. Terrific stuff.

Well played, both teams. A, let's take a listen.

# I'm out of touch, I'm out of love... #

That, of course, is Ed Sheeran.

D.

# Look at me... #

It's Geri Halliwell.

And E.

# ..You gonna live your life right... #

Cyndi Lauper.

Thank you very much indeed.

So, here comes your second question. Jay and Aliona,

you get to answer this one first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game, so best of luck.

Our second question this evening is all about...

-Richard.

-We're going to show you five pictures now

of actors who are disguised by CGI or make-up.

We need you to tell us the name of the actors, please. Good luck.

Thank you very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five actors, and here they come.

There we are. Five actors in disguise.

Jay and Aliona, you will go first.

OK, we're going to go with actually D. One of my favourite films.

It's Zoe Saldana in Avatar.

Zoe Saldana, say Jay and Aliona.

Sophie and Brendan, do you fancy talking us through that board?

Yeah, it is Jennifer Lawrence.

A, Robert De Niro, I think, but I could be completely wrong on that.

C is Jim Carrey. Do you think most people wouldn't recognise

-that that's Jim Carrey as the Grinch?

-OK.

-I don't know.

-OK, let's do that.

-Jim Carrey for...?

-C.

-For C. There we are, OK.

So, we have Zoe Saldana and we have Jim Carrey.

Jay and Aliona said Zoe Saldana for D.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said Zoe Saldana.

That's a good answer.

-Look at that. Down to 6.

-Yes!

Very well done indeed, Jay and Aliona.

Meanwhile, Sophie and Brendan have gone for Jim Carrey for C.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said Jim Carrey.

I don't think they're going to reach the "Ooh" noise.

-46.

-Was...was De Niro the first one?

-Very well done indeed.

That means, Jay and Aliona, you're back in the game.

-After two questions, it's 1-1.

-That's great work there.

There's one answer up there that would have beaten it and that is A.

But we'll get onto A.

-B is Bill Nighy.

-Oh!

E is Jennifer Lawrence, as I think everyone knew.

But A would have scored you 4 points.

It's from The Princess Bride

and it's Billy Crystal.

-Not Robert De Niro. Billy Crystal.

-So, I was wrong.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. So, here comes the third question.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot, so best of luck to both pairs.

Our third question concerns...

-OK.

-Richard.

-We're going to give you the nicknames of five UK cities.

We'll also give you the first initial of that city.

But can you name the cities, please?

Whoever gives us the most obscure answer is going through

-to play for the jackpot. Very best of luck, both teams.

-# Da, da, da! #

Thanks very much. OK, let's reveal our five city nicknames

and here they come. We have got...

-I'm out!

-LAUGHTER

-Sophie and Brendan will go first.

-OK.

Come on, Soph, I'm relying on you here.

I think I know two, so I might go for a guess on another one,

just because it might be a bit more obscure.

I think The Queen Of The Midlands might be Nottingham.

Nottingham, say Sophie and Brendan for The Queen Of The Midlands.

Now then, Jay and Aliona, do you want to talk us through that board?

Well, as someone from Nottingham, that was frustrating!

LAUGHTER

Um, I don't know. The beautiful Russian Aliona,

what do you think of the UK city nicknames, cos I'm struggling?

I'm going to guess Cottonopolis and just say Manchester. Sorry.

Cottonopolis, Manchester.

So, we have Nottingham and we have Manchester.

Sophie and Brendan have gone for Nottingham

for The Queen Of The Midlands. Let's see if that's right

and how many people said Nottingham.

Is it right?

-It's right.

-At least it's not wrong.

There we are. 34 for Nottingham.

APPLAUSE

Now then, Jay and Aliona have gone for Manchester for Cottonopolis.

Let's see if that's right

and how many of our 100 people said Manchester.

-It's right.

-Yes!

Ooh, there we are. There's our result.

APPLAUSE Very well done, Sophie and Brendan.

After three questions, you are through to the final, 2-1.

That was a genuinely terrific head-to-head. Very well played.

They were the best two answers on the board,

apart from the really impossible one, which we will get onto.

-Auld Reekie?

-Edinburgh.

-Edinburgh.

-And the City Of Dreaming Spires?

-Oxford.

-Oxford.

Now, The Merrie City is the hardest one.

You immediately think of Windsor, but it's not a city.

It was called The Merrie City because it had so many amazing pubs,

back in medieval times. And very well done if you said Wakefield.

-Wakefield, the answer there.

-Thank you very much indeed.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

it's Jay and Aliona.

It's been wonderful having you here.

Such a strong performance right the way through the show.

Very impressive indeed. Lovely to have you on.

Please come and play again. Thank you so much, Jay and Aliona.

-Brilliant.

-Thank you.

-Thanks. Cheers. Well done.

APPLAUSE

But for Sophie and Brendan, it's now time for our Pointless final.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Sophie and Brendan,

you have seen off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy. That is yours.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £2,750.

APPLAUSE

Look at that. You have waltzed through to the final.

Fantastic performance there.

I'm going to say Sophie's done quite a lot of the heavy lifting.

-Yes, come on. Yes, she has.

-Nah.

-That's fair to say.

-It is very fair to say.

-But here we are, in the final.

Four things go up on the board

and you can choose one of those categories.

What would you like to see come up there,

so you can win that jackpot for your charities?

-Um, pop music's always quite a good one for me, I think.

-Yeah.

Kind of already gone through some of that through the show,

so I don't know if it will come up again.

You'd probably quite like sport?

That's probably my strongest subject,

compared to something that's in a magazine,

-but who knows? Maybe gardening.

-Who knows? Maybe gardening.

OK, let's see what's up there today

and hope there's something you like the look of.

Today's selection is...

I was around in 2005, I've eaten chocolate,

I've watched some of those films and I wear stuff.

-LAUGHTER What about that?!

-That's very good.

I kind of feel like it's got to be Dance Films.

Given the day, it would be silly not to. Why go Chocolate when...?

Why go Chocolate when you can go Dance Films?

LAUGHTER Rich.

Very best of luck. Three classic dance films now.

We're looking for anyone who received a credit

for acting in any of the following three films, please.

We're looking for anyone who appeared in Footloose from 1984,

anyone who appeared in Dirty Dancing from 1987,

or anyone who appeared in Flashdance from 1983.

So, anyone, according to IMDb,

credited with appearing in any of those three dance films.

Very, very best of luck.

As always you have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yeah.

-Um...yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. Your time starts now.

-Oh, man!

-Do you know anyone apart from Kevin Bacon in Footloose?

Do you know anyone apart from Jennifer Grey

and Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing?

And Flashdance... What's the name of the girl that played the welder?

-Uh...

-OK.

We're going well, Soph.

I'd like to say that I'm contributing a lot today, but...

Can you think of anyone else apart from those people?

Cos I don't think they're going to be the pointless answers.

-Why didn't I go Fashion?

-SOPHIE LAUGHS

Um... OK, I'm thinking, I'm thinking.

Dirty Dancing, Dirty Dancing...

I can see the cast in my mind.

I could recite the whole film for you, if you want, but...

-In 15 seconds?

-Not in 15. Maybe 12.

-SOPHIE LAUGHS

-Ten seconds left.

-Oh, I'm so sorry!

-What was the name of the girl in Footloose?

-The girl in Footloose.

-Yes, I know her very well. She's very attractive.

-What's her name?

-Don't know!

-Oh.

-Um... Oh, man!

-Your minute's up, I'm so sorry.

-That minute just goes by like that.

-We choose Fashion.

-Yeah, it's OK.

What would you like to go for? What three answers can you give me?

Well, I'd have to say, for Footloose,

-I do only know Kevin Bacon.

-Yeah.

-OK, Kevin Bacon.

-I'm so sorry.

-For Dirty Dancing,

it's only Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey that I know.

Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey.

-Those are my only...

-And those are our three answers.

Which is your best shot, of those three, at a pointless answer?

It's not going to be Kevin Bacon or Patrick Swayze,

-so it's got to be Jennifer.

-Yeah, Jennifer Grey.

Jennifer Grey goes last. Least likely to be pointless?

-Yeah, oh, man!

-Um, I'd say Kevin Bacon.

-Kevin Bacon.

-Oh, really?

-Then Patrick Swayze in the middle.

-Yeah.

Let's put those answers up on the board in that order,

and here they are. We have got...

If one of these were to be pointless - and you never know,

it just could happen - what are the charities you're playing for?

-Sophie?

-I'm playing for Tommy's.

They research into premature babies and all aspects of pregnancy

-and wellbeing for mum and baby.

-Excellent. Brendan, how about you?

The PACE Centre. I like to choose obscure charities

that not many have heard about. It's a local one to my area.

I'd barely even heard of it

-but they do great work with disabled children.

-Brilliant.

APPLAUSE

Two fantastic charities there.

Let's hope one of these answers might win that jackpot for them.

Best of luck. Yes, this is a tough category. Dance Films.

Kevin Bacon was your first answer.

In this case, we were looking for cast members from Footloose.

We've gone for Kevin Bacon. Let's see what happens.

-If it's pointless, it'll win you £2,750 for your charity.

-I know.

-Let's see how many of our 100 people said Kevin Bacon.

-100!

It's right.

It just has to be pointless now

and your charities will be £2,750 richer.

-Kevin Bacon stops at 45.

-Wow.

-Only 45?

He was the star of the film. That's not bad.

I thought it would be more than that.

It's looking good for Jennifer Grey, at this stage,

I can't help thinking. Sadly not pointless,

which means we move onto your next answer, which was Patrick Swayze.

Again, it has to be pointless for you to win the jackpot.

So, for £2,750, let's see how many people remembered Patrick Swayze

from the cast of Dirty Dancing.

It's right.

Kevin Bacon took us down to 45. Patrick Swayze...

-Only 67.

-Look at that. 67. APPLAUSE

-Really?

-Really?

-67 for Patrick Swayze. Very memorable.

Only one more shot at today's jackpot.

Your last answer is Jennifer Grey. Now, this is good. Jennifer Grey.

Can people remember her from the cast of Dirty Dancing?

If no-one remembers her, you will win £2,750 for your charities.

How many people said Jennifer Grey?

It's right.

Your first answer took us down to 45 - Kevin Bacon.

Your second answer, Patrick Swayze, was 67.

-Jennifer Grey takes us past.

-Come on!

-Down we go into the teens.

-17 - not bad.

-Wow! That's much lower than I thought.

APPLAUSE Yeah, 17.

Very good score in normal play of Pointless, but we're only interested

in pointless answers in this round, sadly.

You didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer,

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £2,750.

However, as it is a celebrity special,

each of our celebrities are playing for a nominated charity,

we're going to donate £500 to each pair

to give to their respective charities, so there you are.

Very well done. You've played so well and you get a Pointless trophy.

-APPLAUSE

-Well done, Soph.

-Well done, Brendan.

These Strictly shows are always fun and it's been an absolute cracker.

Proper great answers after great answers.

Let's start with Footloose, shall we?

See where the pointless answers are.

Elizabeth Gorcey played Wendy Jo.

-Sarah Jessica Parker was a pointless answer.

-Wow.

Everybody in that film was a pointless answer,

apart from Kevin Bacon, John Lithgow,

Lori Singer, Chris Penn and Dianne Wiest.

Dirty Dancing cast now.

Max Kellerman was played by Jack Weston.

Jane Brucker played Baby's sister.

Even fewer scoring answers there.

Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey,

Cynthia Rhodes and Jerry Orbach were the only ones

that scored any points at all.

And Cynthia Rhodes crops up now in Flashdance as a pointless answer.

Everyone in that film, apart from Jennifer Beals,

who was the main actor in it, and Michael Nouri.

Everyone else was a pointless answer.

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

Very well done, Sophie and Brendan. We've loved having you.

It's been a brilliant show. Thank you so much for playing so well.

Sophie and Brendan. Brilliant. APPLAUSE

Join us next time,

when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE