News Pointless Celebrities

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong

and welcome to this special news edition of Pointless Celebrities,

the show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Let's meet today's Pointless celebrities.

APPLAUSE

-Couple number one.

-I'm Alastair Stewart and I'm an ITV newsreader.

I'm Charlene White and I'm also an ITV newsreader.

APPLAUSE

Couple number two.

I'm Nick Robinson. I'm a presenter of Radio 4's Today programme.

And I'm Emily Maitlis and I work for BBC Newsnight.

APPLAUSE

Couple number three.

I'm Cathy Newman and I present Channel 4 News.

I'm Rageh Omaar and I'm a presenter and reporter for ITV News.

APPLAUSE

-And, finally, couple number four.

-I'm Piers Morgan.

I am currently the co-host of Good Morning Britain,

although by the time this airs, that is unlikely to be the case.

I'm Susanna Reid. I'm also on Good Morning Britain,

but sometimes I'm just a guest on the Piers Morgan Show.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you. A very warm welcome to Pointless.

We'll get to chat to each of you throughout the show

as it goes along. That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He's the man who knows what's what

and he can get our editors' names in before the pips.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody. Good evening.

APPLAUSE

-Good evening to you.

-Good evening.

-I'm so excited about this one, are you?

-So much, yes.

-What a line-up.

The most competitive shows we ever do

are when we have sports stars on, normally.

But walking up and down the line beforehand,

I think this might be even more brutal.

This might be like an episode of Game Of Thrones, I think,

-this evening, don't you think?

-LAUGHTER

But it's going to be great, isn't it?

Fantastic. Thank you very much, Richard.

As usual, all of today's questions

have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants are looking for those all-important pointless answers,

these being answers that none of our 100 people gave.

Find of those and we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, as today's show is a celebrity special,

each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity,

we start off with a jackpot of £2,500. There we are.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

Here's the thing. Here is the thing.

The pair with the highest score at the end of each round

will be eliminated. That's it.

Just keep your score nice and low and you'll be fine.

Best of luck to all four pairs. Our first category this evening is...

Words.

Can you decide in your pairs who's going first, who's going second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name...

Words ending in "DLE".

Simply looking for any word which has its own entry

in the British and World English section

of oxforddictionaries.com that ends "DLE".

As always, no proper nouns, no hyphenated words.

Loads of pointless answers out there as well.

Thank you very much. Alastair, very warm welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Good to have you here.

Over the years, you have broken a great many stories.

You've been the person on the scene

when all sorts of events have unfolded.

Do you have any particular favourites,

any ones that stand out in your memory?

I think the Berlin Wall in 1989 is the one that stands out.

My father was in the Royal Air Force and he'd been in Bomber Command,

so we grew up with the bombers, with nuclear weapons

at the bottom of our garden, quite literally.

So, to stand there in '89 and see the Wall come down

and the possibility of some kind of rapprochement

was really very moving.

And then to see the faces of all of those young people in East Berlin

finally win the day, it was amazing, and that will live with me.

-Incredible. Now, words ending "DLE", Alastair.

-Yeah.

I'm going to go with "twaddle."

"Twaddle," says Alastair. Our first answer of the show, "twaddle."

Let's see how many of our 100 people said "twaddle".

Very well done indeed, Alastair. "Twaddle."

APPLAUSE

1.

Fantastic start to the round and, indeed, the show. "Twaddle."

Yeah, that's a terrific answer, Alastair.

So tough on that first podium to come up with stuff.

Foolish speech, "twaddle".

Now, Nick, welcome to Pointless.

As such an affable person,

you have a great skill for getting up certain people's noses.

-Off the top of my head, well, George W Bush, let's not forget.

-Yeah.

Alex Salmond, let's not forget. What's behind this?

You're just a very, very persistent questioner.

I think, possibly, being what we call, where I'm from,

being arsey - that's probably the reason.

I constantly was asking George Bush a series of questions

he didn't really want asked,

like was he in denial about the Iraq War,

which he took a little bit of offence to.

And then I thought, slightly offensively in return, on a hot day

when I was at a news conference, out in the sunshine, mopping my brow

he turned to me and said,

"Next time, you should cover your bald head."

-LAUGHTER

-Which told me.

Wow, what about that?

Anyway, Nick, you've had a little bit longer than Alastair. "DLE".

I'm going for the American theme. "Panhandle."

"Panhandle." Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said panhandle.

-Is it a word?

-It's a word. Look at that.

Pointless! There we are, Nick.

A pointless answer adds £250 to our jackpot,

taking our total up to £2,750.

APPLAUSE

It scores you nothing and earns you considerable kudos.

We did say it was going to be competitive, didn't we?

LAUGHTER

"Panhandle". It's a word for a strip of land

-between one territory and another. "Panhandle".

-Thank you, Richard.

-Now, Rageh, great to have you here.

-Thank you.

Now, one of our most famous foreign correspondents.

-Do you miss being out in the cut and thrust?

-A little bit.

I miss the camaraderie, because it is a very competitive industry,

but you make a lot of friends and you have to survive on the road

-in very difficult sort of places.

-Yeah.

So, I miss that, but I enjoy seeing my kids as well.

-Might you ever go out again, do you think?

-I still do.

Not as much, but I've been covering stories in Iran,

I've been to northern Iraq, I've been to Nigeria, Sudan,

so I still do go out but not as much as I used to.

-OK, Rageh, "DLE." Words ending in "DLE."

-Minus 1.

Um, I'm going to go for "bundle".

"Bundle", says Rageh.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said "bundle".

-Oh.

-21.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, a collection of things tied or wrapped together.

Thank you very much, Richard.

-Now, Susanna.

-Oh, yes.

Do you know, I just thought about this.

Three out of our eight are early risers. How do you do it?

What's the structure of your day? Do you divide your sleep into two?

-Yes, exactly. The alarm is set for 3.20 each morning....

-Ah!

..and then I turn the alarm off and I kind of play Russian roulette

with my eyelids and I just let them close and then open and then...

-I've only overslept twice on that system.

-Not bad.

-Yeah.

I was saying to you earlier, I think Good Morning Britain

is probably the most... It's the best place to be for Pointless.

You get to meet so many different people.

-I think it's just the best place to be anyway, isn't it?

-Exactly.

-There you are, exactly. Now, Susanna.

-Yes.

What are you going to go for?

-I'm going to for "rekindle".

-Ooh.

-Oh, that's nice.

-I like it.

"Rekindle." Let's see how many of our 100 people said "rekindle."

It's right. 21's our high score at the moment. 0 is our low score.

"Rekindle" takes you past 21.

-Oh!

-Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE "Rekindle," scoring you 1.

-That's terrific stuff, Susanna. Well played. What a round, eh?

-Mmm.

It's when your book doesn't download properly. Just so annoying.

LAUGHTER We're halfway through the round,

so let's look at those scores. Well done, Nick.

0, the best score of that pass. Nick and Emily looking quite strong

as contenders for Round Two. Alastair and Charlene on 1

and Susanna and Piers on 1 as well. Now, 21, Rageh.

You've left Cathy with a mountain to climb.

-A mountain to climb.

-But good luck with that.

-Thanks!

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, so, Piers, remember it's words ending in "DLE."

"Rekindle" - absolutely fantastic

-word.

-That was a star.

-Wasn't it?

Piers, when did you come back from the US? When did you move back here?

When I left CNN, so about 18 months ago, so I had about ten years there,

doing various shows, and America's Got Talent and then CNN.

I had a good time.

You had a great time, didn't you? Do you miss it at all,

or did you miss us so much you had to come back?

I love being back. I missed all the things...

Anyone who's worked in America or anywhere else,

you miss the weird little things.

Our pubs, our cricket, our baked beans,

the fish and chips with mushy peas, just the way you like them.

It's all those little things that start to eat away at you.

And now I just come back and eat them.

So, yeah, it's great to be back.

Very good. Now, Piers, you're on 1.

The high-scorers at the moment are Cathy and Rageh on 21.

So, 19 or less is what you need.

OK, I'm going to go for...

-.."cradle."

-Mmm.

-"Cradle."

"Cradle," says Piers.

Here is your red line. Get below that with "cradle"

and you are into the next round. How many of our 100 people said it?

It's right.

Look at that! 16.

Very well done indeed. APPLAUSE

Takes your total up to 17

and sees you into Round Two.

And even deliberately getting quite close to 21

to make it even worse for Rageh.

That's what Piers has done there. So clever.

So, now, Cathy, welcome.

-Mmm, yes.

-Welcome to Pointless. Now you,

before you went into journalism, were a violinist.

-I was.

-Were you going to pursue a career in music, do you think?

I was all set on being a violinist and then I saw Kate Adie,

who was on the BBC.

So I abandoned all thought of being a violinist and thought,

"I'm going to be Kate Adie."

Well, that didn't quite work out, but I'm sort of halfway there.

It kind of did.

-Well, I'm not standing in a flak jacket.

-No.

-I'm here in the Pointless studio.

-Yes.

-Oh, she's good at that.

-Which is kind of as terrifying!

-She's been on, hasn't she, Kate Adie?

-She has, yeah.

Oh, she was brilliant, Kate Adie.

-Oh, no!

-Her words were superb!

-So brave.

-Yes.

Now, 21. You're the high-scorers.

-We need a low score.

-OK.

"Sidle."

-There we go. Very nice.

-It's not that good.

-"Sidle."

-It's not that good.

-No red line for you, as you're the high-scorers.

But let's see how many of our 100 people said "sidle."

Come on, come, on, come on...

-Yes!

-10.

Taking your total up to 31. APPLAUSE

Yeah, to walk sideways or obliquely. It's a very good answer.

Given yourself a chance there, Cathy.

Could be interesting, these last two podiums now.

-Yes.

-No pressure.

-Now, Emily. Emily, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you very much.

Now, you get to meet

all sorts of people on Newsnight, don't you?

-That's what we do.

-Prime ministers...

-Well, it is, it's what you do.

-That's what we do.

And you have interviewed Donald Trump.

-Many times.

-Many times?

-Weirdly.

-What...what's he like?

Oh, he's a charming chap, actually. Yeah, it's all bluster.

There was this wonderful moment, actually,

where I interviewed him in a greenroom,

in a dressing room,

and before we started the interview,

he actually sent for hairspray - as you do.

And three assistants came back with cans of hairspray

at the same time and he self-lacquers.

I don't know if that's a phrase, but he does.

He sprays and lacquers and it sort of,

you know, the comb-over is done to his taste.

Terrifying. Right, Emily, you're on nothing. Excellent score from Nick.

I think this gives me the chance

to go up to 100, really, without worrying.

That's the way I've explained it to Nick.

-Well, 30 or less is your target.

-Um...

-I'm going for "dwindle."

-Oh, very nice.

"Dwindle." Here is your red line.

If you can get below that red line, you are through to the next round.

"Dwindle."

Very well done.

4 for "Dwindle."

-Fantastic!

-Taking your total up to 4.

APPLAUSE

Well played, Emily. Very good answer.

As used in the sentence, "Cathy and Rageh's chances

"on Pointless Celebrities were beginning to dwindle."

LAUGHTER

-Then we sidled off.

-LAUGHTER

-PIERS:

-Twaddle!

-LAUGHTER

-Now, Charlene.

-Hi.

-Welcome to Pointless.

So, how did you get into journalism? What was your route in?

My route was I did a lot of work placements.

I wanted to be a lawyer

until I was about 16 and then went on law work experience

in Croydon Crown Court.

Fell asleep in court, because it wasn't as exciting as LA Law.

So, I decided I wanted to tell people stories

and change the world in that way instead, so became a journalist.

There you are.

As an anchor at ITN, are you sort of on call all the time?

Yeah, I have no routine whatsoever.

I get to work with the lovely Alastair a lot, which is wonderful.

So, I chop and change, sometimes with Alastair, sometimes with Mark.

-I basically go with whoever, really.

-Very good indeed.

Now, Charlene, this is exciting.

The high-scorers, I'm afraid, are still Rageh and Cathy on 31,

so you want a score of 29

-or less.

-OK, so I'm going to go for...

"Doodle."

"Doodle." "Doodle."

That's the most popular answer anyone has given.

Everyone loves "Doodle." There is your red line.

You have to get below that with "Doodle."

Let's see if you can do it. How many people said it?

Very well done.

Yes!

-APPLAUSE 6.

-Brilliant.

-Wonderful.

Taking your total up to 7. Very well done.

Very well played, Charlene. That's a relief, isn't it?

-That really is.

-And going last is tough.

-It's nerve-racking.

To scribble absentmindedly, to doodle.

There's loads of good pointless answers here,

loads of words on the pointless answer list that you'll know.

Let's look at a few of them.

To enkindle.

"Flapdoodle" - your guess is as good as mine!

"Girdle" is a pointless answer, amazingly.

"Labradoodle," a cross between a Labrador and a poodle.

To mollycoddle. There's "panhandle." We had that from Nick.

Skedaddle. "Swaddle" a pointless answer. And unsaddle as well.

Let's look at the top three answers,

the one that most of our 100 people said when we asked them online.

-And "idle" at the top. Who'd have thought?

-There we are.

Thank you very much, Richard. So, at the end of our first round,

the pair we have to say goodbye to, with their not that high,

but highest score of 31,

-is Cathy and Rageh. I'm so sorry.

-I'm sorry.

Come back and play again. It's been lovely having you. Thanks for playing.

Cathy and Rageh. APPLAUSE

For the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

APPLAUSE

And so we're down to three pairs.

At the end of this round, we'll have to say goodbye to another pair.

Very well done, everyone.

Single figure scoring in that round from all our remaining contestants,

apart from Piers. LAUGHTER

But the game is but young.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for Round Two is...

Cinema.

Can you decide in your pairs who's going first, who's going second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Films... LAUGHTER

Films and their directors. Richard.

-Gone down well, hasn't it?

-Yes.

-Blimey!

On each board, we're going to show you six pairs of films

all directed by the same person.

You just need to name the directors for these pairs of films.

We'll give you their initials as well.

Six on the first board, six on the second,

12 in all to have a go at home. Very best of luck.

On each board, we're looking for the names of six directors for you to choose from.

Our first board of six looks like this.

I'll read those all again.

That's not as bad as you thought, is it?

It's pretty close to being

as bad as I thought, yes.

Er, The Shining and 2001

is Stanley Kubrick.

Stanley Kubrick, says Alastair.

Let's see if that's right

and how many of our 100 people agree with Alastair.

It is right.

-Look at that! 14.

-That's really good!

-Is that all right? Is it good?

-It's good.

-This is good. 14 for Stanley Kubrick.

-Well played, Alastair.

He only ever won one personal Oscar.

-That was for Best Visual Effects for 2001, Stanley Kubrick.

-Really?

-Mmm.

Nick. Nick.

I'm going to for Alien

and Gladiator - Ridley Scott.

Ridley Scott, says Nick.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Ridley Scott.

It's right. 14 is our only score at this point.

And Ridley Scott finishes at 42.

-APPLAUSE

-Well done.

Once directed an episode of Z Cars, Ridley Scott.

-Bet that was a very good episode.

-It was.

-A £47 million budget it was, which, back in those days, was a lot.

-Yeah.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Now then, Susanna. Susanna, this board's all yours.

If you wanted to, you could go through it

and fill in all those directors for us.

Slumdog Millionaire and Trainspotting is Danny Boyle.

Goodfellas, Wolf Of Wall Street - Martin Scorsese.

Jaws, Raiders Of The Lost Ark - Steven Spielberg.

And Fight Club, Social Network - David Fincher.

-I'm going to go for David Fincher.

-David Fincher.

I think that's the right one to have gone for.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said David Fincher.

It's right. 42 is our high score, 14 our low.

-You pass 42.

-Come on!

You pass 14.

Down to 5. Very well done indeed.

Splendid work on the far podium. 5. APPLAUSE

Great work, Susanna. Took us through the board perfectly and then chose

-the best answer of the ones you knew as well.

-It's an ace.

He would've scored 76 you did well to avoid that.

Martin Scorsese for the next one,

he would have scored you 26.

And Danny Boyle would have scored you 36.

So, David Fincher best answer on the board.

Thanks. We're halfway through the round. Let's look at those scores.

5 the best score of the pass, Susanna. Very well done.

Then up to 14, where we find Alastair and Charlene.

Then 42, Nick and Emily.

Emily, find a low score. We need a low score from you.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

Let's put six more clues up on the board and here they are...

I'll read those again.

Piers.

I'm going to go for Kathryn Bigelow

for Hurt Locker and Point Break.

OK, Kathryn Bigelow, says Piers. Here is your red line.

Get below that with Kathryn Bigelow,

you are into our head-to-head round.

It's right.

Kathryn Bigelow sees you into the head-to-head. Well done.

Down it goes. That's a great answer! 3!

-APPLAUSE

-Thank you.

Application, Piers, for the last round.

Takes your total up to 8.

That's another great answer, Piers. Very well done.

They mean business. In fact, everyone means business, don't they?

-They're very clever today.

-Yeah. Now then, so, Emily.

Yeah, it's a lot of pressure now.

Cos, film, it will astonish you to know, is not my forte.

I'm going to go for Woody Allen,

-Annie Hall and Blue Jasmine.

-Woody Allen.

No red line for you as you're the high-scorers.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Woody Allen.

It's right.

Not bad. 26.

APPLAUSE 26. 68 is your total.

It's a good answer. Keeps the pressure on a bit.

Four Oscars Woody Allen's won -

three of them for Original Screenplay.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now, Charlene, you can talk us through the board,

if you like.

Titanic and Avatar is James Cameron.

Pulp Fiction and The Hateful Eight is Quentin Tarantino

and Psycho and Vertigo is Alfred Hitchcock.

So I'm going to go for

The Godfather, Apocalypse Now - Francis Ford Coppola.

Francis Ford Coppola. Let's see if that's right

and how many people said it. There's your red line.

Not too high, not too low, but get below that,

you are into the head-to-head. How many said Francis Ford Coppola?

-It's right.

-Well done, well done.

-You've done it.

-Yes!

-Well done. Look at that. 42.

-Bingo!

-42, taking your total up to 56.

-Bingo day.

APPLAUSE

Very nicely played, Charlene.

The best two answers had already been taken

in this round. Titanic and Avatar

is James Cameron.

A slightly better scorer than Coppola.

But the other two were bigger scorers.

Quentin Tarantino would have scored you 71

and Alfred Hitchcock would have scored you 63.

Thanks very much indeed. So, at the end of our second round,

the pair we have to say goodbye to, I'm afraid, a high score of 68,

-it's Emily and Nick. PIERS:

-Oh, no(!)

-Stop it!

-I'm so sorry. ALASTAIR COUGHS:

-ITV!

-Nothing...

LAUGHTER

Well, thank you so much, Emily and Nick.

Please come and play again.

Is there a quiz question with the answer "inferiority complex"?

LAUGHTER

It's been lovely having you on. Thanks so much for playing.

APPLAUSE

But for Piers and Susanna, Charlene and Alastair,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Piers and Susanna, Charlene and Alastair.

You are now one step closer to the final and a chance

to play for our jackpot, which currently stands at £2,750.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So, we have to decide who's going to go through to the final

and play for that jackpot for their charities

and we do that by making you go head-to-head.

But you can start playing as teams, which is nice. You can confer.

The first player to win two questions

will be playing for that jackpot.

Very best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Here is your first question and it concerns...

Political families, Richard.

Going to show you pictures of people from the field of politics

who are related to each other.

We're looking for the surnames of any of these people, please.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

Let's reveal our political families, and here they are.

There we are. Five political surnames we need.

Now, Piers and Susanna, you've been our low-scorers up this point,

so you will go first.

Um, we're going to go with the Bottomleys, A.

OK, Bottomley, say Piers and Susanna.

Now, Charlene and Alastair, do you want to talk us through all...

-You can do all your talking out loud now.

-Oh, right, OK.

Um, B is Sarkozy on the left and you say...

-No, cos that's not his brother.

-I think it might be his son.

-Yeah.

C is Stephen, Glenys and Neil Kinnock.

D is Robert and Jack Kennedy.

And E, it's the Ghandi dynasty.

-E.

-E, Ghandi.

-Ghandi.

OK, we have Bottomley and we have Ghandi.

Piers and Susannah went for the Bottomleys at A.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said Bottomley.

That's a great answer, look at that!

-2! Very well done indeed.

-Wow!

Superb. APPLAUSE

Now, Charlene and Alastair, you have gone for Ghandi for E.

Ghandi. Let's see if it's right and how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

Ooh, 31!

APPLAUSE

31. Which means very well done, Piers and Susanna.

After one question, you're up 1-0.

-PIERS:

-Do you want to go?

-We're doing fine, Piers!

You've given the best answer you could as well.

That's the best answer on the board. The Bottomleys. B is the Sarkozys.

That's him with his son, who's a councillor, Jean Sarkozy.

C is the Kinnocks. Quite a low score as well.

That is the Kennedys, D, of course.

Thanks very much, Richard. Here comes your second question.

Charlene and Alastair, you get to answer this first

but you have to win this one to stay in the game, so best of luck.

Our second question concerns...

-Mountains, Richard.

-Going to show you the names of five countries

and the initials of the highest mountains in those countries.

Can you name that mountain, please?

Let's reveal our mountains and here they are.

Charlene and Alastair, you will go first.

Go on, then. We're going to go for Greece, Mount Olympus.

Mount Olympus, say Charlene and Alastair.

Now, Piers and Susanna,

do you fancy talking us through all those others, as many as you can?

Well, France is Mont Blanc, we know that.

Tanzania we think is Kilimanjaro.

Turkey is Mount something, I can safely say that.

LAUGHTER

It could be Mount Argentina.

You have the final decision.

I have to deal with this every single morning!

-What did you make me do it in the evening for as well?

-Go on.

-I can't cope with it.

-Go for the one you think will win.

Oh, I will not hear the end of it unless I go for a massive gamble.

We're going to go for Argentina.

Argentina, Argentina.

So, we have Olympus and we have Argentina.

-It's very good if it is right, honestly.

-It's not going to be...

-CHARLENE:

-We'll never hear the end of it if it's right.

-Just wait till it's wrong.

-I'm so looking forward to this.

-Now, Mount Olympus.

-That does not fill me...

-Well, I don't know.

Let's see. Mount Olympus. Is it right?

How many of our 100 people said Mount Olympus?

Mount Olympus is right.

55.

APPLAUSE

What were we thinking?!

-But, though, you were taking a punt...

-Yes.

..on the mountain in Argentina being called Argentina.

LAUGHTER

-It could be!

-It's not, but why not?

-It begins with A.

It may! Let's just find out.

-Let's see. Is it right?

-Come on!

-Is it right?

Oh!

Strangely...

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Can someone just record this moment for posterity?

Piers Morgan with his head in his hands.

-LAUGHTER

-Argh!

What were you thinking?!

LAUGHTER

Do you know what, I admire his chutzpah, though.

I definitely do, exactly. Very well done, Charlene and Alastair.

After two questions, it's 1-1. You're back in the game.

Very good indeed. Richard.

It's weird, cos normally mountains ARE named after the countries.

LAUGHTER

-They never are, that's the point.

-Norway, Brazil, Burkina Faso.

It's... Genuinely, I think that was a good one to go for.

It's a good guess. Kilimanjaro would have scored 57 points.

We'd have lost anyway.

-It would have been exciting though.

-OK, then it was

a gamble worth taking.

Now, let's fill in these gaps.

France is Mont Blanc.

And it's too high a scorer.

We'll fill in Argentina.

It's Aconcagua and it's the highest mountain in South America.

A well-known mountain.

This other one is a very well-known mountain, because, famously,

it supposedly had a boat at the top of it.

-Ararat.

-Mount Ararat is the answer.

-Well done if you said that.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

So, it all comes down to our third question. This is the decider.

Whoever wins this one goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot, so best of luck to both pairs.

We're doing so well.

We would have lost anyway, just to put it out there.

Our third question is all about...

-Oh!

-Turner Prize winners, Richard.

We'll show you the initials now of five Turner Prize winners

and the year in which they won the Turner Prize.

Whichever team gives us the most obscure answer

is going through to play for that jackpot.

-Very best of luck, everybody.

-Thanks very much.

Let's reveal our five Turner Prize winners and here they come.

Piers and Susanna will go first.

OK, so the only one we think we know

is Damien Hirst, 1995.

Damien Hirst. OK, Damien Hirst.

Now then, Charlene and Alastair,

can you talk us through the others?

-No.

-You'll be lucky!

-LAUGHTER

-Um, OK, because neither of us know, do we?

-No...

In the process of doing that,

you might suddenly find the right answer.

Well, for the last one - MC, 2001 - I'm going to go for MC Hammer.

LAUGHTER

-PIERS:

-MC Hammer?!

-Oh, yes, he's a very well-known Turner Prize winner.

-Installation art.

-Oh, yeah.

-Music, scaffolding.

-He's brilliant.

-He's brilliant.

-OK, so Piers and Susanna have gone for Damien Hirst.

Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people said it.

-Phew.

-It's right.

Wow.

27.

APPLAUSE

27.

If only 27 people got Damien Hirst, what did the others get?

Let's see how many people got MC hammer.

How many of our 100 said that?

LAUGHTER

-Yeah, there we go.

-I'm shocked.

-Very well done, Piers and Susanna.

-Mr Hammer was robbed!

After three questions, you are through to the final, 2-1.

That is unlucky. I went to that last MC Hammer exhibition.

-It was great!

-I got followed

round by the security guard the whole time

and all he was saying was,

"You can't touch this, you can't touch this."

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Let's fill these in.

There will be a couple of names you probably know up here. AK is...

-Do you know that one?

-Anish Kapoor.

-Anish Kapoor.

-Oh, yeah.

-GP is...

-Grayson Perry.

-The wonderful Grayson Perry.

-DC is Duncan Campbell.

-Ah.

And MC is Martin Creed who's the one who kept turning lights on and off.

-So, Anish Kapoor the best answer on that board.

-There we are.

Thank you very much indeed.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

-Charlene and Alastair. That was eventful, wasn't it?

-Oh, it was.

-Yeah.

-I had fun.

-Absolutely. It's been lovely having you here.

Thank you so much for playing.

I'm sorry we say goodbye to you at this stage,

but come back and play again and win.

# Don't cry for me, Argentina... #

Don't forget, Piers, I know where you work.

Charlene and Alastair, everyone. APPLAUSE

For Piers and Susanna, it's now time for our Pointless final.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Piers and Susanna.

You've seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

-I feel so proud.

-Can we just have a little moment, please?

-Maybe a little longer.

-No, that's enough! Goodness me.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £2,750.

-Oh, wow.

-There. We are. APPLAUSE

Well, Susanna, you've traded up. What about that? Charlie Stayt.

-Charlie who?

-Oh! Sorry, Charlie. I got further with Piers.

One step better. Absolutely fantastic.

You know what it's like in this final round.

We put four things up there that are pretty impossible

and there are subsections.

There will be three questions behind each topic up there.

Our selection reads like this.

I think Wimbledon, because tennis, it's got to be tennis related.

-I know where Wimbledon is.

-Mmm.

-So, we can't lose.

-Are you happy with that?

-Yeah.

-Wimbledon it is. OK, Wimbledon.

Very best of luck. Three very different questions here.

Hopefully, one of these suits you.

We are looking for any manager of Wimbledon FC

all the way from 1977 to when they became MK Dons in 2004.

-Get in there!

-We are looking for...

Oh, if you think THAT'S good, Piers, we're looking for

any UK Top 40 singles by the Wombles.

LAUGHTER

-I know, right.

-# Wombling, wombling, wombling free... #

According to officialcharts.com.

Or we are looking for

any British player who played

in the singles tournaments,

men's or women's, in 2015, please.

So, managers of Wimbledon FC

from 1977 to 2004,

UK top 40 singles by The Wombles

or British singles players at Wimbledon in 2015.

Been a brilliant show, you've defeated allcomers.

Very, very best of luck.

As always, you have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-I'm excited cos I know some of these.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up

on the clock. Your time starts now.

I can't think of a single by

The Wombles that nobody else would know.

-Managers of Wimbledon Football Club.

-Yes.

-Joe Kinnear, Dave Bassett...

-Yes.

-Well, there's two.

-I'm not going to be able to help you here.

I can go for one of the others, right?

OK, the most obscure British singles player at Wimbledon last year.

-OK, well, Andy Murray's the least obscure.

-Yes.

Who is the most obscure? Who were the Wimbledon guys?

-Or women?

-Women?

-The young woman, what's her name?

-Laura...

-Laura...

That's not going to help, is it?

No, no... Who's the one recently, who's been winning?

-Da Conte or what is it? What's her name?

-Conte? She's not British.

-She is.

-Is she?

-Yes.

-Oh.

-What's her name?

All right. Wombling Free by The Wombles. Wombling Free...

-Ten seconds left.

-..Dave Bassett, Joe Kinnear.

Are those going to be your answers?

-You're happy with those?

-Yes.

OK, we'll stop the clock.

So, of those three,

which of those is your best shot at a pointless answer, do you think?

-Joe Kinnear.

-Joe Kinnear goes last. Least likely to be pointless?

-The Wombling...

-Wombling Free.

-Wombling Free.

Let's put those answers up on the board in that order

and here they are.

There we are. Three good answers...

TWO good answers on the board there.

LAUGHTER

Now, let's just say one of these wins that jackpot

and you get that jackpot for your charities,

which charities are you playing for? Piers, you first.

I'm playing for Great Ormond Street Hospital.

I had a cousin who was there for a long time

as a paediatric neurologist,

so it's a place close to my heart, does amazing work for children.

Arguably the best children's hospital in the world

and a great flagship hospital for this country, so that's my choice.

-Susanna?

-And at the other end of the sort of time span,

I'm going for Silver Line, which is for elderly people

who don't have a lot of contact.

Sometimes the only human voice they hear

is the television during the day.

And they get a call once a week from a volunteer.

-Befriending service, really vital work.

-Very good indeed.

APPLAUSE

Two excellent charities there.

Let's hope one of these answers wins that jackpot for you

to split between them. Your fist answer was Wombling Free.

In this case, we were looking for Wombles UK top 40 hits.

Only one of these answers has to be pointless

for you to win that jackpot.

So, for £2,750, let's see

how many of our 100 people said Wombling Free. Is it pointless?

-Ooh, bad luck.

-It was Remember You're A Womble, wasn't it?

-It must have been.

-It was the only Wombles song anyone knows!

-Maybe that's not what it's called.

-Of course.

-I think it's called Remember You're A Womble.

-Mmm. I forgot.

Sadly not a pointless answer,

which means you only have two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was Dave Bassett.

In this case, we were looking for managers of Wimbledon FC

from 1977 to 2004.

Again, it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot,

so for £2,750, let's see how many people said Dave Bassett.

It's right.

Your first answer, Wombling Free, was incorrect.

Dave Bassett, on the other hand, absolutely on the money.

-Down it goes.

-Come on!

-If this goes down to zero...

-Oh.

-Oh!

-6.

APPLAUSE

-Six people got Dave Bassett.

-He's the better known, I would say.

Good, cos everything is now riding on your third and final answer.

-He took them to the Cup Final.

-Joe Kinnear.

If this is pointless -

this is the one you thought most likely to be pointless -

if it IS pointless, it'll win you £2,750.

Let's see how many people said Joe Kinnear. Is it pointless?

It's right.

Your first answer, Wombling Free, was incorrect.

-Dave Bassett took us all the way down to 6.

-Come on!

Joe Kinnear takes us down through the teens, into single figures.

-Down it... Ooh.

-No!

-7.

-Oh, what a shame!

-APPLAUSE

Well, two very, very good low scores.

You'd be thrilled with those scores at any other stage of the game

but, sadly, in this last round, it's only pointless answers

-that'll win that jackpot for you.

-Bobby Gould, wasn't it?

You didn't find that pointless answer to win you that jackpot,

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £2,750.

However, as it is a celebrity special and everyone's playing

for a charity, we're going to donate £500 to each celebrity pair,

so they can give to their respective charities.

It's been fabulous having you on. A really entertaining show

and a brilliant performance all the way through, so thank you.

And you get a Pointless trophy to take home as well.

And that's the only silverware

-Pier's Morgan's going to earn all season!

-Piers and Susanna.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, the Wombling Free - it's called The Wombling Song.

Underground, overground, that is.

It would have scored you 3 points anyway. Remember You're A Womble...

-Bobby Gould, wasn't it?

-Bobby Gould -

there's only three Wimbledon managers who scored

any points at all and they were Kinnear, Bassett and Bobby Gould,

-who would have scored you 4 points.

-Oh.

-Oh.

I think you thought of one of the tennis players as well.

-Johanna Konta.

-Johanna Konta would have scored you 1 point.

-Oh.

-Ooh.

So I'm glad you didn't say it.

Let's start with those Wimbledon managers, shall we?

Dario Gradi, who was a manager at Crewe for many years.

Egil Olsen, the Norwegian. Ray Harford was a manager at Wimbledon.

Terry Burton as well.

You could have had Allen Batsford, Peter Withe and Stuart Murdoch.

All of those pointless answers.

Wombles now. Sing along if you remember these.

Super Womble. Of course, Super Womble!

And Wombling White Tie And Tails.

Those were the five pointless answers there.

Slightly worried if you got any of those, but well done if you did.

And three pointless answers for British singles players.

He's in the world's top 50 now, Aljaz Bedene.

This guy's going to go a long way as well - Kyle Edmund.

You'll hear an awful lot more about him.

Well done if you got any of those pointless answers at home.

It's been an absolute treat, today's show, so thank you so much.

And sorry we didn't give you the right jackpot round.

Thanks very much, Richard. And thank you again, Piers and Susanna.

Brilliant. Join us next time,

when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE