Episode 1 Pointless Celebrities

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thank you very much. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong

and a very warm welcome to a special celebrity edition of Pointless,

the quiz show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Every single question on Pointless has been asked to 100 people before the show.

To be in with a chance of winning our final round jackpot,

our celebrities need to come up with the answers that the fewest of those 100 people could think of.

Let's meet our Pointless celebrities.

APPLAUSE

First up we welcome Christopher Biggins and Lesley Joseph.

Hello.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

You are two of our country's favourite performers...

Yes, we are.

-I haven't finished. And I think the word is personalities.

-Yes.

-How long have you known each other, Lesley?

-30 or 40 years.

-Really?

We have, I been to Lesley's daughter's Bat Mitzvah,

her son's Bar Mitzvah, many, many birthdays because she's very old.

-Yeah, I know.

-We go back a long way.

Lesley, theatre, musical theatre, all these would be great for you?

Yes, musical theatre would be absolutely wonderful and I would love you for ever.

-What about you, Christopher? You won I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here.

-I did.

-There are two kings of the jungle here.

-I know, look at that.

What did you learn on that? Did that teach you anything that might come in handy?

I loved every moment of it,

I wouldn't have missed it for the world and I'd never do it again.

I'm not going to say anything more on that.

It's lovely to have you both here. Enjoy it.

The very best of luck. Next we welcome Penny Smith and Jon Culshaw.

APPLAUSE

Penny, of course we know you from GMTV.

Jon, we know you as one of our country's foremost,

best loved impressionists - how do you two know each other?

We did a sketch together in 2004. I was playing Eamonn Holmes.

-And I was playing somebody else.

-You were being you.

-I was rubbish.

-I tell you myself, I was so rubbish.

-We met during a sketch.

-Penny, you've sung with Curtis Stigers.

-I spoke to Curtis today.

-He's in the country.

-Is he?

I phoned him up and berated him

and said, "The first thing you do is you step off the plane

"and phone me and we go to the pub, that's what we do."

I can't believe he didn't phone me.

He didn't give you a ring!

We're going out with Curtis this evening - me, you, Biggins and Curtis.

-The second he landed, he was on the phone.

-Yes.

-So wrong.

-Jon, you've done so many impressions,

-right from Spitting Image, probably before.

-Yes, I think so.

Do you remember all these people? Do you keep a little catalogue?

It's interesting, some of them come and go.

-AS TONY:

-Tony Blair we don't do too much of now, but he's interesting to do.

-AS OZZY:

-Ozzy Osbourne was a favourite of mine a few years ago.

-AS MICHAEL:

-Some of my favourites today like Michael McIntyre is one.

ALEXANDER LAUGHS AND APPLAUSE

-AS BRIAN:

-Prof Brian Cox because in here there's lots of lights that point.

-AS ALAN:

-And I like Alan Carr because he walks around like a villain on Scooby Doo.

APPLAUSE

-Oh, fantastic. Penny and Jon, welcome to the show and the very, very best of luck.

-Thank you.

Next we welcome Monica Galetti and Michel Roux Junior.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

We of course know you both from MasterChef The Professionals.

But you've been working together for many years. Where did you first meet?

Monica sent in her CV many years ago

and I took her on as a young chef and look at her now.

Still young!

LAUGHTER

And still working for Michel, more's the point.

Are you both as terrifying as you are on MasterChef?

Yes.

Oh!

-And, Monica, you were born in Samoa.

-Yes.

-Then you went to New Zealand.

-Yes.

I'm going to say rugby might be a good category.

-I guess rugby would be a good topic.

-Would it be good? Do you know much about rugby?

I know a fair bit, like who won last year

and who lost last year.

She always brings that up.

You should have seen her after the World Cup. For those who don't know

New Zealand and France and New Zealand won it.

We had New Zealand flags everywhere in the kitchen.

I opened my locker and a New Zealand flag fell out of it.

I got into my tiny, little desk in the kitchen,

pulled the drawer out, a New Zealand flag, everywhere I looked.

I went home and there was a New Zealand flag on my windscreen.

It was everywhere, everywhere.

And that lasted about two weeks.

Anything you'd hate to see come up, Monica? Any complete bete noire?

Football.

I've been here 12 years

and I'm still trying to get my head around football.

-What about British celebrity culture?

-Oh, terrible.

I think children's programmes would be great because I've got a five-year-old.

-Is there something you can do about shoes?

-OK, shoes, Richard.

I'll see what I can do. I tell you what, I'll do choux pastry.

Oh!

Very good.

Monica and Michel, welcome to Pointless. The very best of luck.

And finally we've got Kiffy and Joe Swash.

APPLAUSE

Joe, we've already mentioned you were king of the jungle.

Everyone knows you from playing Mickey Miller in EastEnders.

-Please introduce your team-mate.

-My team-mate is my lovely mum Kiffy.

APPLAUSE

I didn't invite her. You invited her.

-Joe.

-Yes.

-EastEnders.

-OK.

Did you learn lots of things from that? Do you remember stuff?

I spent five or six years at EastEnders,

so maybe I'll know characters

and names from people that have been in and out of the show.

But I haven't watched it for a while, so I might be a bit rusty.

-You're quite good at EastEnders.

-I'm not bad.

-Did you watch it when Joe was in? Did you watch every episode?

-I did.

-And your daughter was in it as well.

-But I didn't know it was my sister when she was auditioning.

-It was really strange, but it was lovely.

-She just turned up on set?

-Yes.

And then my mum decided she was going to chaperone, so it was like a home from home.

I had to watch my P's and Q's in the green room.

-And that's why you left EastEnders?

-Yeah, I was sick of it.

Kiffy, what's going to be great for you this afternoon?

Probably reality TV.

-I'm a great fan.

-Celebrity stuff generally? Do you keep up with that?

Yeah, I do, I like to keep up with a bit of celebrity gossip.

-She loves a gossip, my mum.

-I love a gossip.

Very good.

Kiffy and Joe, welcome to the show, enjoy it. The very best of luck.

We look forward to discovering all your hidden knowledge.

There's only one person left for me to introduce,

the kind of man you'd look to in a fact-based crisis.

He's my Pointless friend Richard.

Hello.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-Good evening.

-Good evening to you.

-It's unusual for us to work on a Saturday.

-I know.

-Isn't that weird?

-I know, wow.

-I might take the opportunity now we're on a Saturday.

People always ask me the same questions so if I can answer them in one go.

People say, do you really ask your questions of 100 people?

I don't do it personally, but yes we do.

Do the people who win get one trophy or two? They win two.

And what's Alexander Armstrong like? That's the other question they ask.

Now...

LAUGHTER

I'll try and be as honest as I can. I say it very much depends on whether he's had a drink.

LAUGHTER

So no more tweets, please, I think I've cleared everything up there.

-That's fair enough.

-That's fair enough.

But I think Round One today is one of those questions that drives you a little bit mad.

Oh, good, good. Thank you very much, Richard.

All our questions have been put to 100 people before the show,

but we're looking for the obscure answers that they didn't get.

To stay in the game all our celebrities need to do is

score as few points as they possibly can.

Everyone is trying to find a pointless answer,

an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens we'll add £250 to the jackpot.

As today's show is a celebrity special, our celebrities are playing for a nominated charity.

We start off with a jackpot of:

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

OK, let's play Pointless.

In this first round each of you must give me one answer and you cannot confer with your partner.

Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of the first round will be eliminated.

If anyone gives me an incorrect answer, they'll score the maximum of 100 points.

OK, our first category is:

Can you all decide who is going to go first and who is going to go second?

Whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many countries

with no repeated letters in their name - oh, Richard!

No repeated letters in their name - Richard...!

-Hey, just call me Mr Saturday Night.

-Yeah!

This is any country in the world

whose name consists entirely of different letters - for example,

Sweden we would not allow, as it has two Es in it.

By country, we mean a member of the UN, that is a sovereign state.

-Best of luck.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

You all drew lots before the show, and Christopher and Lesley go first.

-We're very excited about going first...

-Good.

..and the country I have chosen is Italy.

Italy, says Biggins - is that right?

If so, how many of our 100 people said Italy?

It's right.

Oh...yey!

-Not bad, not bad!

-APPLAUSE

32 of our 100 people said Italy,

-which scores you 32!

-Nice start, Biggins.

I-T-A-L-Y - be looking a long time

before you found a repeated letter in that name.

Thank you, Richard. Now, Penny...

Er, Mali, in Africa.

Mali. Is it ri...? Is it right?!

How many people said Mali?

LAUGHTER

It is right.

Down it goes...

Oh...very well done, Penny! Look at that, 1!

APPLAUSE

One person said Mali, that scores you one point. Richard...

-Very well played, Penny. I've not got much to say in this round.

-No.

There are no repeated letters in the name Mali. LAUGHTER

What I also love about Mali is, it's the place where Timbuktu is.

Another interesting thing about Mali is, it's where Timbuktu is.

-LAUGHTER

-Thank you. Thank you for that.

Not a lot of people know that -

-surprised Penny didn't mention it, but...!

-Michel...

-Mmm.

-A country with no repeated letters from you, please?

Erm, let's go for...Cyprus.

Cyprus. Cyprus, says Michel. Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

how many of our 100 people said Cyprus.

It's right.

Ooh! Very well done, Michel!

APPLAUSE

-Three points for Cyprus.

-Very well played, Michel.

Became independent in 1960. Again, no repeated letters in its name.

Timbuktu not there.

LAUGHTER Nicosia, capital of Cyprus.

Erm, it's in the Mediterranean.

LAUGHTER

It's very nice this time of year.

-Very nice this time of year, Cyprus.

-Mmm...

-Er, Joe...

-Yeah.

I was going to do the one that Michel done. I'm going to go with...

Mexico.

-Has that got double...? It hasn't, has it?

-Mexico.

Let's see if it's right, and if so, how many people said Mexico.

It is right.

-Biggins, what did you get?

-32.

Yeah!

-9 for Joe Swash!

-APPLAUSE

9 from Mexico, Richard.

Well played, Joe. Whenever you say any of these countries,

-there is a doubt in your head - it messes with your head a bit.

-It does.

You have to think about it.

I bet there will be some really obvious ones that are pointless.

No.

LAUGHTER

OK, we're halfway through the round, let's take a look at the scores.

Penny and Jon looking extremely strong.

-Mali there, Penny.

-Mmm.

Michel and Monica are on 3, Joe and Kiffy on 9,

and then 32, where Biggins and Lesley are residing.

-Ha-ha!

-Now, Lesley, best of luck - can the second celebrities

please step up to the podium?

So, we are looking for countries

with no repeated letters in their name.

-Kiffy, after that...

-Are we going first?

Yeah.

Good luck.

LAUGHTER

Thanks to Joe's brilliant answer, you're on 9.

Lesley and Biggins are on 32, so a score

of 22 or less would see you through to the next round.

Ooh, it's a hard one! Erm...

Norway.

Now, Kiffy, below that red line, you will have fewer points

than Biggins and Lesley and you will go through.

Norway, said Kiffy - is it right, and how many people said it?

It's right.

-Go on! Keep going!

-Well done, Kiffy...!

Yeah, you've done it!

-17 for Norway, takes you up to 26.

-APPLAUSE

An interesting fact about Norway -

no repeated letters in its name. LAUGHTER

-You're right.

-Try it - one N, one O, one R, one W, one A, one Y.

-That's how you remember it.

-Got to have a system.

So, Monica - lovely low score from Michel, you are on 3,

the high-scorers are still Lesley and Biggins on 32.

28 or less will see you into the next round.

-Tonga.

-Tonga.

Oh, that's a great answer. Let's see if it's right,

and if so, how many people said it. Tonga...

Very well done, you're through.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Best answer!

That's a pointless answer, it adds £250 to the jackpot,

taking the total up to £2,750.

It scores you nothing, and leaves your total at 3.

-Tonga.

-Yes, in the South Pacific, not a million miles from Samoa,

-of course.

-Very well done indeed, Monica. And now, Jon,

countries with no repeated letters in their name.

You're on 1, the high-scorers remain Lesley and Biggins, on 32.

-A score of 30 or less will see you through to the next round.

-Erm,

let's stay in Africa, which, er... Let's say Chad.

Mmm! Oh-ho-ho!

Jon, there is your red line - if you get below that,

the curtain comes down on Lesley and Biggins.

-Now, Jon, Chad - is it right...?

-Chad.

..and if it is, how many people said Chad?

Oh, it's right.

You are through!

Oh, two people said Chad!

APPLAUSE

Very well done. That takes your score up to a brilliant total

of 3 - Chad, Richard...?

Two brilliant teams on 3.

Chad is a land-locked country in central Africa.

It's got a C, an H, an A and a D.

-And each of them unique.

-Each as unique as the last.

Lesley - you are on 32, you are the high-scorers,

so you'll be leaving us at the end of this round.

You don't need it now, do you?!

Oh, I do.

-You could give a pointless answer and add another £250.

-Oh, yes.

-It won't be. Erm...

-Give us a pointless one.

Let me tr... Oh, Kenya.

Kenya - let's see if it's right, and if so, how many people said it.

It is right.

Oh, it's a good one, Lesley, look at that!

Look at that, 4!

Ah!

Mwah!

That takes your total to 36.

Lesley, if you have to leave us, it's a good way of doing it.

Kenya, named after Mount Kenya -

though what Mount Kenya is named after, I do not know.

Let's look at the pointless answers. We've already had Tonga, from Monica.

Let's take a look at some more of them.

Belgium, unbelievably, a pointless answer.

There's a few more - Brunei, Guinea, Honduras,

Laos, Slovenia and Tonga - all your pointless answers.

Now, the most popular answers among our 100 people.

Look at that, Michel, France have finally won something!

-Well done if you got any of those at home.

-So, at the end of Round One,

the losing pair, with the highest score,

-is Biggins and Lesley!

-Aw!

But 36 is a very low score.

-This is quite wrong.

-We've had a lovely time.

-We have.

-Thank you so much.

-And we've got no shelf space for, er, an award -

have we, darling? No.

Lesley, Biggins, brilliant contestants,

-I'm sorry we say goodbye, but you've been excellent.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

-But for the remaining three pairs,

it's now time for Round Two.

Now, there's only room for two celebrity pairs in our head-to-head,

so one of the teams will be leaving us at the end of this round.

The category for Round Two is...

-What?

-Oh, my goodness.

-I think Lesley Joseph should come back in.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first?

-Whoever it is, please step up to the podium.

-Go on!

-OK.

-Our question concerns...

-Richard...

-Yes, this could be interesting.

We'll show you the names of six women who went on to become

a First Lady of the United States - tell us which president they married.

Obscure answers will get fewer points,

but incorrect answers will score 100 points.

12 in all for you to have a go at home. Good luck.

Best of luck - so, we are looking for the US presidents who married

these women - and we have...

Mamie Doud, Jacqueline Lee Bouvier, Martha Dandridge, Nancy Davis,

Claudia "Ladybird" Taylor and Mary Todd.

These are our first ladies, you have two pair them with their presidents,

and find the one the fewest of our 100 people knew.

-Jon. You have pick of the board there.

-OK.

There's some interesting names there.

I'll go for Nancy Davis.

-And who was her president?

-Ronald Reagan.

-Ronald Reagan.

Nancy Davis, Ronald Reagan, says Jon.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people knew that answer.

Yes, it's right.

56.

56.

-Richard.

-It's a safe start, and a tough board, I think, that.

Nancy Davis became Nancy Reagan, of course.

-Do you know what his nickname for her was?

-No.

He used to call her "Momma Poo Pants."

LAUGHTER

-Really?

-That was his pet name for her, was, "Momma Poo Pants."

-"Momma Poo Pants."

-Yeah.

-And how did she get that name?

LAUGHTER

Was it after the day they got stuck in the car at the safari park?

Monica, so, we are looking for the US presidents that have been married to these women.

What are you going to go for, Monica?

I'm going to go for Jacqueline Lee Bouvier,

and I think she married President John F Kennedy.

Thank you very much. Let's see if that's right,

John F Kennedy for Jacqueline Lee Bouvier.

Is it right, how many people said it?

It's absolutely right.

Oh, down it goes, 46.

That'll do, that'll do.

-46, very well done, Monica. Richard.

-It's a surprisingly low scored, that.

Is it?

Yeah, Bouvier was her maiden name, also Marge Simpson's maiden name. Marge Bouvier.

Kiffy, you're the last person to have this board,

so you can have some fun with it, if you like.

Let's try Mary Todd, I think.

-Married to Mr Henry Ford.

-Mr Henry Ford.

We will see if that's right, Mary Todd,

was she married to Mr Henry Ford?

How many people knew that answer if it's right?

Bad luck Kiffy, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

which means you score the maximum of 100 points, I'm sorry.

-Richard.

-It's so nearly right,

she didn't marry Henry Ford, and he wasn't a president,

but other than that, you're covering all bases.

Genuinely, that's a very tough board. I think you were left with the four hard ones there.

I suspect a lot of people at home won't have any of these.

Let's fill them in. Now, let's start with Mary Todd,

she didn't marry Henry Ford she married Abraham Lincoln.

She was five foot two, he was six foot four,

the tallest president ever.

Claudia "Ladybird" Taylor married Lyndon B Johnson,

that would have scored 10 points.

Martha Dandridge married George Washington,

would have scored you five,

and Mamie Doud married to Dwight D Eisenhower, six points.

-So, very well done if you got one of those at home. Very good knowledge.

-Thanks very much.

We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at the scores.

Monica and Michel, a lovely low score of 46,

up to 56, we find Penny and Jon,

and then up to 100, we find Kiffy and Joe.

That was a really tough board.

But Joe, you'll get first dibs on the next board.

-I'll save it.

-Find a nice obscure answer there,

maybe that will save you and get you through.

We're going to come back down the line, can the second players please take their places at the podium.

OK, we're going to put six more women on the board, and here they come.

We've got Barbara Pierce, Abigail Smith, Hillary Rodham,

Elizabeth "Bess" Wallace, Elizabeth "Betty" Bloomer,

and Michelle Robinson.

I'll read them all one more time: Barbara Pearce, Abigail Smith,

Hillary Rodham, Elizabeth "Bess" Wallace,

Elizabeth "Betty" Bloomer, and Michelle Robinson.

Now remember, we are looking for the US presidents that

these women have been married to, and you're trying to find

the one that the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Joe. It's a new batch, you're high scorers on 100, Joe.

Yeah, I'm just trying to think of the presidents that you had on the last round.

Yeah, because they won't be coming back.

OK, I'm going to go with Betty Bloomer, Elizabeth "Betty" Bloomer,

she was married to President Nixon.

-We need a first name Joe, I'm afraid.

-What was his name, Mum?

I don't know.

LAUGHTER

It ain't Burt, or nothing like that, is it?

LAUGHTER

Nixon, all right, I'm going to go with, I don't know...

..John Nixon.

President John Nixon, let's see if it's right,

and if it is, how many people said

Betty Bloomer, President John Nixon.

His name was Richard Nixon! Weren't it? Richard.

It was on the end of my tongue, it was.

Unfortunately that is an incorrect answer,

which means you will score the maximum of 100 points,

and that takes your total up, I'm afraid to say, to an unbeatable 200.

I'm sorry, Joe.

That's all right. It's partly your fault, as well, Mum.

I'll say this, Joe, you made the same mistake, in that she's not married to him and he wasn't a president.

-But I'll go through the correct answers at the end of this part.

-Fantastic.

-OK. Now, Michel.

Michel, there are our First Ladies, you have to find us

the most obscure president, to which one of them might have been married.

The great news is the high scorers are Joe and Kiffy, and they are on 200,

so you can say whatever you like, even if you get a wrong answer, you are through to the next round.

So, that takes a bit of the pressure off.

I'm not going to risk anything because I'm a scaredy-cat,

I'm going to go for Michelle Robinson, Barack Obama.

Michel Robinson, Barack Obama.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how me people said

Michelle Robinson married Barack Obama.

It's right.

38.

38 takes your total up to 84, you are in the head-to-head, Michel.

-Richard.

-Well played, Michel. She is now Michelle Obama.

On their first date, he took her to see Do The Right Thing, the Spike Lee movie.

-Not bad, is it?

-Not bad at all.

She wasn't sure, but then he's president, you know.

-You're going to go on a second date, aren't you?

-OK, Penny.

LAUGHTER

Here's good news for you,

you are through to the next round whatever your answer is.

I'm going to go Betty Bloomer, I'm assuming Betty Ford Clinic,

Gerald Ford.

Gerald Ford, for Betty Bloomer.

There we are, let's see if it's right, and how many people said it.

It is right.

6! 6 for Betty Bloomer. Takes your total up to 62.

Richard.

Like in a detective novel,

Penny has cleverly tied up all the wrong answers that the Swashes gave.

Betty Bloomer wasn't married to Richard Nixon, she was married

to Ford, and that's Gerald Ford, not Henry Ford from before.

Let's take a look at the rest of the board, Hillary Rodham,

obviously became Hillary Rodham Clinton.

It would have scored you 47. Barbara Pierce became Barbara Bush.

Married to George Bush Senior. That would have scored you 32.

Abigail Smith, well done to the three people at home

who knew that she was married to John Adams.

Elizabeth "Beth" Wallace is a pointless answer.

Very well done at home if you said Harry S Truman, she married.

Bess Truman, best answer on the board.

Thank you very much, Richard.

At the end of Round Two, the losing celebrity pair

with the highest score, I'm sorry, Kiffy and Joe.

AUDIENCE: Ahh

-It's all right, it's all right.

-We're used to it.

-No, we're not used to it!

-That was a really tough round.

-It's all right, though.

-We've really enjoyed it.

-We've had a lovely time.

-It's been nothing but fun having you on the show.

-Thank you for coming and doing it.

-Thanks for inviting us.

-Joe and Kiffy.

Good luck, good luck.

But for the remaining two celebrity pairs,

things are about to get even more exciting now as we enter the head-to-head.

Well, congratulations Penny and Jon, Monica and Michel.

You are now only one round away from the final, and a chance

to play for the jackpot, which currently stands at £2,750.

APPLAUSE

Now, obviously only one pair can play for that money,

to decide who it'll be, you are now going head-to-head.

For each question you will be shown five options on the board.

Each pair needs to answer just one of them,

-but you are now allowed to confer.

-Good.

All you have to do is score less than the other pair

and you will win that question.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for the jackpot.

OK, let's play head-to-head.

Right, here comes your first question,

and it concerns actors who have played Sherlock Holmes.

Actors who've played Sherlock Holmes.

-Richard.

-Yes, for this question

we'll show you five pictures of actors playing Sherlock Holmes.

You've got to find the most obscure of those, please.

OK. So, let's reveal our five actors who have played Sherlock Holmes.

Here they come. We have got:

There we are.

There are our five actors who have played Sherlock Holmes.

Now, Penny and Jon, because you have played best throughout

the show so far, the lowest scores, you get to go first.

Right. OK. Yes, I believe...

(DOES IMPRESSION) I was hoping Tom Baker was going to be up there,

but alas no, not on this occasion.

Oh, Jon, we haven't used you nearly enough.

Before you give an answer, do you do either of the MasterChef men? You don't do John Torode?

Oh, yeah. Greg Wallace. Food does not get tougher than this!

It's never been so tough.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

This is tough.

OK. Right. Now then, Penny and Jon.

So, they've all played Sherlock, we have to choose one of those.

The most obscure.

Obviously, the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

-That could be anybody.

-Why don't we vote for A?

-Yes, go on.

We're just going to go for A. That's it, that's the answer. A.

You need his name?

Yes, we also need his name.

There is an element of general knowledge involved.

Yes. We liked the answer just: A.

I'm wondering if that's the most obscure?

The most obscure is probably B, but who the hell is that?

It's obviously some sort of child wearing a deerstalker.

-There must've been a drama called Young Sherlock.

-Oh, I see.

Yes, maybe. Child Sherlock.

Or, you can confer amongst yourselves.

Yes.

I just think C they know, D they know, E they know, so let's go for A.

-Very well.

-Is it the right one? Is it what I said earlier?

Yes, we'll vote for A, Basil Rathbone.

Basil Rathbone is A, say Penny and Jon.

Monica and Michel, you can do your talking out loud if you like,

you can even submit a different answer for A if you think

Basil Rathbone was wrong.

-I mean, you go to the movies more than I do.

-No, I don't.

-Yes, you do.

-I don't.

-Don't argue with me, I'm Chef.

LAUGHTER

-Whatever happens, it's your fault.

-We'll go for D then, Michael Caine.

D, Michael Caine. So we have A, Basil Rathbone, D, Michael Caine.

Penny and Jon said A was Basil Rathbone, let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people knew that answer, Basil Rathbone.

Yep, it's right.

That's a great answer. Look at that, 30.

APPLAUSE

30 for Basil Rathbone. Well done.

Monica and Michel have gone for D, Michael Caine.

Let's see if that's right, and let's see how me people knew that answer.

It's right.

OK, so after one question, Penny and Jon are up 1-0. Richard.

Basil Rathbone's a very good answer. There's two answers that would have beaten it.

As you can imagine, B would have certainly done.

B is from the Young Sherlock Holmes, from 1982,

-and that is Guy Henry. That's a pointless answer.

-That's Guy Henry!

And if you're at home, thinking,

"where do I recognise him from?"

He's in Holby City, plays the director of surgery, Henrik Hansen.

Now, C, surprisingly low score, that's Benedict Cumberbatch,

who played him in the current TV series on BBC One.

Would have scored you 14 points.

-Wow.

-Basil Rathbone got more than double that.

And E, it's Robert Downey Jr, he would have scored you 37 points.

So, Guy Henry, the best answer on that board,

but Benedict Cumberbatch turns out a surprisingly good answer.

Thanks so much. Here's your second question.

Now, Monica and Michel,

you have two win this question to stay in the running.

And it concerns

Elvis Presley.

-Love Elvis.

-Yeah.

-Elvis Presley, Richard.

Yeah, we're going to show you five clues to facts about Elvis Presley.

The most secure fact will you the point.

OK, so let's reveal our five clues to facts about Elvis.

And here they come. We've got:

I'll read those one more time.

His middle name,

the UK number one single in 2002 for Elvis vs JXL,

the mansion he bought in 1957,

the airport, site of his only visit to the UK in 1960,

and the woman he married in 1967.

So, there are five clues to facts about Elvis.

And obviously you're going to try to find the one that you think

the fewest of our 100 people would have known.

Monica and Michel are to go first.

-I'm thinking the single in 2002, or the mansion.

-Go for it.

-They're both very obvious.

-Doesn't matter.

Were going for the number one single in 2002,

and I think it was A Little Less Conversation.

Now then, Penny and Jon.

-OK.

-You can talk us through the board, fill in all the blanks.

-Well his middle name is Aaron.

-Oh, is that true?

-Yes.

-Elvis Aaron Presley.

-The mansion he bought is Gracelands.

The woman he married, Priscilla.

Go on, Jon.

I've got a vague recollection that the airport,

I've got a vague recollection that the airport was Prestwick.

-Go on then, go for it.

-I think it might have been Prestwick Airport.

-You're going to say?

-Prestwick.

-That's your answer.

-Yeah, I'm going to risk it.

-Sorry if it's wrong.

-Oh, it's OK.

In order that they were given, Monica and Michel said

A Little Less Conversation was the UK number one single in 2002. Let's see if that's right.

And if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

You have two win this question to remain with us.

It's right. Very well done, Monica.

Down it goes.

Brilliant answer, 21.

Well done.

21. That's a great score.

Jon and Penny have gone out on a massive limb here.

It's so big, look. It's like a double limb.

OK, you've said Prestwick Airport was the site

of his only visit to the UK in 1960. Prestwick Airport. You've just got this from nowhere, haven't you?

It was just lurking somewhere, and I just decided to go with it.

OK. Well let's see. If it's right, chances are it will be very low.

It just has to be right.

OK, Prestwick, Penny and Jon are saying.

Is it right, and how many people said it?

-It is right!

-Well done.

Oh, you've done it. 10 people knew that.

Very, very well done, Penny and Jon.

After only two questions, you are through to the final

in straight sets, 2-0.

-Richard.

-Yes, well played, Jon, well played, Monica, too.

There are actually the best two answers on the board.

Stopped in Prestwick to refuel on a US Army transport plane from Germany.

There's an Elvis Presley lounge at Prestwick Airport.

Let's take a look at the rest now. His middle name, it is Aaron,

it would have scored you a fairly hefty 47 points.

Again, Monica, you were right to go for A Little Less Conversation.

The mansion he bought was Graceland, but would have scored you 62.

And the woman he married in 1967, Priscilla. Of course.

That would have scored 52.

Very well done if you got all five of those at home.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So, the losing pair at the end of the head-to-head, I'm afraid, Monica and Michel.

Well. That was tough, the Sherlock Holmes one.

-Why didn't we have French actors?

-Because, Michel, we're in London.

LAUGHTER

And, Michel, they would all be Gerard Depardieu.

And also, have you seen Michel, Sherlock Holmes?

-It wasn't Guy Henry, it was (PRONOUNCED FRENCH) Guy Henrie.

-Ah, yeah. OK.

But Monica and Michel,

you have been brilliant. It's been lovely having you on the show.

Thank you so much for playing, Monica and Michel.

APPLAUSE

But for Penny and Jon it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Penny and Jon, you fought off all the competition

and won our coveted Pointless trophy.

Oh, that's excellent. I've never won anything. That's great.

You now have the chance to win the Pointless jackpot

for your nominated charity.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £2,750.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

There we are. Now, you have played an exemplary Pointless.

Lovely low score in the first round.

The second round we'll slightly discount,

given the high scores of the Swash contingent.

But then in the head-to-head, straight sets. Beautifully done.

-Excellent backhand.

-Prestwick.

-Prestwick, just lurking.

That's how it works.

It's always the answers people go, "Oh, hang on, oh."

-It's back there.

-Yes, it's exactly there.

Yes, but usually goes there, and in my head, anyway,

it goes off for a walk, has a sit-down,

by the time it's popped in again it's changed shape.

Yeah. That's what you need for this round.

You have to find the answers back here. OK, the rules for this bit are very simple.

To win, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

We've had one pointless answer on the show today, and you have to find one more.

You have three chances to find that pointless answer,

if you do, you will go home with the money for your nominated charity.

Firstly, you've got to pick a category, and you can choose from these five options. They are -

TV, modern dramatists, music awards, horse racing, film.

For me, I can discount horseracing, or anything to do with music awards.

Modern dramatists, I don't know. It's one of those difficult things.

Shall we go for TV? Something we both vaguely know a bit of.

Oh, but I'm rubbish at TV. No, I watch the most peculiar things.

LAUGHTER

We could go for film.

-What, are you not very good at film?

-I don't know. I'm not too bad.

You see, if it's obscure TV. I could do things like Danish thrillers.

-I'm going to press you for a decision.

-OK then, let's go for TV.

-Let's try TV.

-TV.

-OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many Top Gear

Stars In A Reasonably Priced Car as they could. Richard.

We're looking for any person who's taken part in Top Gear's

Star In A Reasonably Priced Car

right up to the end of series 17 in July 2011, please.

We're not looking for any of the Formula 1 drivers who've done it, or the regular hosts of the show.

Just any of those celebrities who have taken part

in that part of the show.

OK, you now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that £2,750 for your nominated charity

-is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

-OK.

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

-OK. Well, there was Helen Mirren.

-Trevor Eve.

-Yes.

Jay Leno. David Tennant.

-I don't watch Top Gear.

-Jonathan Ross certainly has.

A good one, I think we should go with is the musician Seasick Steve.

-Who on earth? Let's do that.

-He plays the three string guitar.

-Excellent. Good, I like that.

-He did it.

It's either that, or the Hungry Caterpillar. Either one will do.

Rowan Atkinson did a brilliant job in it.

-We know that he's a petrol head, though.

-Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise.

People will remember those big favourite stars.

Steve Coogan has done it.

Got to go with Seasick Steve.

Benedict Cumberbatch has properly done it,

as has probably Guy Henry,

and possibly Basil Rathbone wouldn't have done it.

-Boutros Boutros-Ghali.

-Yes.

-Robert Downey Jr almost certainly.

I like your one with the three stringed guitar.

Are you sure he did that? Is that how he's pronounced as a name?

Seasick Steve.

OK, your minute is up. There we are.

We were looking for Top Gear Stars In A Reasonably Priced Car.

I now need your three answers.

-OK, well that one.

-We will have Seasick Steve.

-Yup.

-Trevor Eve and Helen Mirren.

-Helen Mirren. OK, there are your answers.

-Which is your best shot at pointless answer?

-That one.

-I think we know.

-Seasick Steve. God bless him.

-And, your least likely?

-Let's try Trevor Eve.

-Let's try Trevor Eve.

We'll put Trevor Eve first, Seasick Steve last,

and Helen Mirren wedged between.

Yes. Sandwiched.

Sandwiched. OK, let's put them up on the board in that order.

Here they are. We've got Trevor Eve, Helen Mirren and Seasick Steve.

We were looking for Top Gear Stars In A Reasonably Priced Car. Trevor Eve was your least confident answer.

You only need to find one pointless answer, remember,

to win that jackpot of £2,750.

OK, let's see if Trevor Eve is right.

You're pretty sure you've seen him. Trevor Eve.

How many people said Trevor Eve?

Has to be pointless for you to win the jackpot.

Yep, it's right. Trevor Eve has done it.

Now, if nobody remembers Trevor Eve,

you will leave here immediately with £2,750.

It's still going down.

Still in single figures, still going,

look at that! One!

-Who was that person?

-One.

-Who could have done that?

-Trevor Eve.

Unfortunately, not pointless.

You only have two more chances to win today's jackpot.

Now then, what are your nominated charities? Penny.

-Cri Du Chat Syndrome Support Group.

-What's it called?

Cri du chat syndrome, it's a chromosomal deficiency,

and this is a very small support group,

because it's quite rare, and it helps for research,

and also respite for the parents, usually, or the carers.

Mine is a fairly new charity called Trekstock,

and it supports young people with cancer.

Very good.

Well, very, very best of luck to the pair of you. £2,750.

All riding on these next two answers.

We are looking for Top Gear Stars In A Reasonably Priced Car.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer, Helen Mirren.

This has to be right, and pointless.

If it's both these things, you'll leave with £2,750 for your charities.

How people said Helen Mirren? Is it correct?

OK. Well, Trevor Eve took us all the way down to one, the tease.

Helen Mirren, if she goes all the way down to pointless

you leave here with £2,750.

Single figures, down it goes. Still going down.

Yes! You've done it!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well done. Wow. I didn't know she'd even done it. Brilliant.

-How could anyone forget Helen Mirren?

-Congratulations.

Helen Mirren was a pointless answer.

That means you win the jackpot of £2,750 for your charity.

Well done. Well done.

Very, very well done, indeed. So, Richard. How about that?

-Helen Mirren.

-Brilliant. Very well played.

Very well played throughout, as well.

And Seasick Steve, also a pointless answer.

Well done, you. Well done, you. Both pointless answers.

I thought he might have been a kind of rapper thing.

I thought it was C-6 Steve, you see. That's what I thought.

-That's not a bad idea.

-It's not, though.

I just remember Seasick Steve's lap, because his commentary was so funny.

And Helen Mirren is one of those names you always see on the board.

Most people were slower than she was.

-Was she speedy?

-Oh, she was good, yeah.

-Speedy bird.

If you'd said Steve Coogan, you would have got a hat-trick of pointless answers.

Lots of pointless answers - Davina McCall, Geri Halliwell,

Usain Bolt, Sir Tim Rice, Rob Brydon. I'll show you a few more.

See if you got any of these at home.

Billie Piper, pointless. Boris Becker, Christopher Ecclestone.

Eric Bana, Guy Ritchie, James Cordon, pointless, he won't like that!

Joanna Lumley, Kristin Scott Thomas, and Ray Winstone.

All of those pointless. Very well done if you got any of those at home.

-Two pointless answers.

-Well, thanks again to our winning celebrities,

Penny and Jon, who go away with today's jackpot of £2,750.

APPLAUSE

And a massive thank you to our other celebrity pairs,

Biggins and Lesley, Kiffy and Joe, Monica and Michel.

Join us next time, when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles from Red Bee Media Ltd