Episode 2 Pointless Celebrities


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Episode 2

Celebrities test the depths of their knowledge in this special edition of the quiz, with Brian Blessed and Anthea Turner among the guests. Alexander Armstrong presents.


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Transcript


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Thank you very much. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong

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and welcome to a celebrity edition of Pointless, the quiz show for obscure knowledge.

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Every single question has been asked to 100 people and to be in with a chance of winning our jackpot,

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our celebrities need the answers those 100 people couldn't think of.

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Let's meet our Pointless celebrities.

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First up, we welcome Chris Packham and Bill Oddie!

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Welcome.

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Welcome. You are two of the country's foremost naturalists. I always get it... It is naturalist?

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I wondered what he was going to say!

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-That means animals, not naked?

-You can have naked animals and most of them are, in fact.

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Welcome to the show. One thing you have sewn up is wildlife, nature, natural sciences.

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-Well, we would hope so.

-So would I!

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-How long have you known each other?

-Ooh, it's... Do you remember?

-A long time.

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-Bill approached me while I was in the bushes one day.

-Was he naked?

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Do you have any other little weird specialist areas that you and only you know about?

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-Poodles, I suppose.

-Poodles.

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-How much is there to know about poodles?

-Don't get him going, Bill!

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-No, sorry!

-Initially a German water spaniel taken up in the French court in miniaturised form

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through the time of Marie Antoinette, the miniature poodle came at the turn of the century...

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-OK, I'm going to stop you there, Chris.

-Thank God for that!

-Very good indeed.

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Welcome to the show. Lovely to have you here - Chris and Bill!

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And next we welcome Brian Blessed and Rosalind Blessed!

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CHEERING

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-Well, now...

-I'm the one who said, "Gordon's alive!"

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Is that going to be one of the films, Alexander?

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-I'll be so upset if it's not.

-Are we allowed to cheat at all?

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-It's not encouraged, Brian. Rosalind, hello.

-Hello! Hi!

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-We'll try to get as much of a conversation as we can.

-Try your best. Don't hold your breath.

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-Father and daughter, both actors.

-Yes, yes.

-Brian, it will take up the whole programme

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-if I ask about all your famous roles.

-There's no end to my talents!

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What's fascinating is your hobbies.

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Yes, I have this curious mix these days. I'm explorer/mountaineer

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and the actor. The exploring has taken over.

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It's a great world out there. I just completed training in Moscow at Space City

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-for the International Space Station.

-Good lord!

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Wow.

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-He's so dull.

-Rosalind, if you were to close your eyes...

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-AS BRIAN:

-Do I sound a bit like your father?

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APPLAUSE

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I like to think I do the best Brian Blessed impression around!

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-Absolutely marvellous!

-Whoo!

-There we go.

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Marvellous!

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Oh...

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There we are. Lovely to have you both here. A very warm welcome.

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Brian and Rosalind Blessed, everyone!

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And next we welcome Ben-Ryan Davies and Georgia Henshaw!

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Many people will know you from the BBC drama Waterloo Road,

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but you've appeared in plenty of other dramas. What do you hope will come up this afternoon? Georgia?

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-I really like volcanoes, but I don't know much about them.

-Ah.

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Yeah, yeah. Yup.

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-I like criminal psychology.

-Do you know much about it?

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Not really.

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-I'm looking to this one for my answers, really.

-Brilliant(!)

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Ben, what's going to be your area? How are you going to dazzle us?

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I like film, but don't know much about it!

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No, but I'm all right. I get by. I'm on the pub quiz machine all the time. I spend loads on that.

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Listen, very best of luck. Lovely to have you here. Ben and Georgia!

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And finally we've got Anthea Turner and Claire Sweeney!

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Well, you're both very well known as TV presenters,

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but Anthea, you did Blue Peter, which is probably the best training for Pointless there could be.

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-I was hoping! But I'm not so sure now.

-No, you're going to walk it.

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We've seen it happen before. We've had several ex-Blue Peter presenters

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and they have just... Out in the first round.

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But...

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-And Claire, you're now a doyenne - can I use that word? - of the West End.

-I like that word.

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-What does it mean?!

-You're great friends. How did you first meet?

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Actually, Anthea interviewed me when I was in Brookside, on GMTV,

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and then we woke up in bed together one morning - Celebrity Big Brother.

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-Good interview!

-11 years ago.

-The first Celebrity Big Brother. I don't think you were born.

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No, we are the only team who went into the Big Brother house

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-and left it cleaner than when we arrived.

-Wow. Something tells me you had quite a hand in that, Anthea.

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-I was cleaning, Claire was making cups of tea.

-Well, welcome. Lovely to have you here. Anthea and Claire!

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We look forward to discovering all your hidden knowledge throughout the show.

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There's only one person left to introduce. Recently voted Heat magazine's Weird Crush of the Year!

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-Nothing weird about that. He's my Pointless friend, Richard.

-Hiya.

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Hello.

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-Hello there.

-Well, good evening.

-This is fun, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

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-Pointless on a Saturday evening.

-I know.

-Can you believe it?

-Never.

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We know quite a lot about our four pairs. Normally they're strangers.

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But we know some of their specialities. So I've tried to come up with categories that are fair

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and I hope I've succeeded. Round One is badgers, Round Two is owls. I hope that's OK for everybody.

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-CLAIRE:

-I think we'll leave now.

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We'll look forward to those, Richard.

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All our questions have been put to 100 people, but we want the obscure answers they couldn't get.

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For a chance of winning our jackpot, our celebrities must score as few points as they possibly can.

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Everyone tries to find a pointless answer that none of our 100 people knew. Every time that happens,

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we will add £250 to the jackpot.

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As today's show is a celebrity special and each celebrity is playing for a nominated charity,

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we start with a jackpot of... £2,500.

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Wow.

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Right. Let's play Pointless.

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In this first round, each of you must give me one answer and you cannot confer.

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The pair with the highest score is eliminated. An incorrect answer will score 100 points,

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so avoid those if you can.

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OK, our first category this afternoon is... TV talent shows.

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TV talent shows. Can you all decide who is going to go first and who's going to go second?

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Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many 2011 Strictly Come Dancing dancers

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-as they could. Richard?

-We're looking for any of the celebrity participants or professional dancers

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in the 2011 series of Strictly, please. First names and surnames, unless they're known by one name.

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Thank you very much. Chris and Bill, you all drew lots before the show and you get to go first.

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I only know one participant, so it has to be the answer I give.

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-And I only know that because it was the footballer Robbie Savage.

-OK, nothing wrong with that.

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Robbie Savage, says Chris. Let's see if it's right and, if it is, how many of our 100 people said it.

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It's correct.

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It's not bad.

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15!

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APPLAUSE

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-15 of our 100 people said Robbie Savage, so you score 15.

-Good start.

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-That's a relief, isn't it?

-A massive relief.

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The combative midfielder, who did very well. He got to Week 10.

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-Very good. Now, Rosalind, did you watch it at all?

-No.

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-It's hard not to follow it, though. You must have heard about it.

-Not much, I must admit,

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-but I think I do remember...

-#

-Jason Donovan?

-#

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You sang that beautifully! He should have that as a ringtone.

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-#

-Jason Donovan!

-#

-"Sorry, this is for me."

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-LAUGHTER

-Beautiful.

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OK, Jason Donovan. Is it correct and how many of our 100 people said Jason Donovan?

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It's correct.

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-34!

-Ooh! Could be worse!

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Could have been a lot worse!

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-Not a bad score at all. Jason Donovan.

-Well played.

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That's two who have said, "No, I never watch it," and both came up with perfectly good answers.

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-Somebody's not telling the truth.

-Mm-mm. Georgia...

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This is your chance to dazzle.

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I watched a few as my mate was in it, but she was so awesome,

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so everyone would know her.

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I'm going to go for Russell Grant.

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Russell Grant.

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-Yeah.

-OK.

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Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people said it.

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-It's right.

-Yes!

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29!

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-Yes!

-That'll do!

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-Very good.

-That's all right.

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-Russell Grant.

-Yes. He was fired out of a cannon.

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So then, Claire, we're looking for dancers that took part in the 2011 Strictly Come Dancing.

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-OK, I'm going to go for...Lulu.

-Lulu, says Claire.

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Let's see if that's right and how many said it.

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It's right.

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-44!

-Ah!

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-It's not over yet, Claire.

-OK.

-I think that's really unlucky.

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-That's the biggest score so far. More than Russell Grant or Jason Donovan.

-Who knew?

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Let's take a quick look at the scores. Who would have thought which pair would be the lowest?

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It's only the naturalists!

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Chris and Bill, 15. Look at that. And then we creep up to 29, where we find Georgia and Ben.

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Then up to 34, where we find Brian and Rosalind,

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and then 44 where Claire and Anthea are currently residing.

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Anthea, you'll need a really good obscure answer to save your skins.

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Very best of luck with that. Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

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OK. We are looking for Strictly Come Dancing 2011 dancers.

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The high scorers are Anthea and Claire on 44,

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-but that's all about to change. Anthea...

-Anita Dobson.

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Anita Dobson, says Anthea. Is it right and how many people said it?

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It's correct.

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Oh, down it goes. 13 - look at that!

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-Anthea, the best score so far.

-That's good! Well done!

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-Takes your total up to 57.

-Very well played. Puts you right back in it.

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I'm just enjoying looking at Brian and Bill's faces. Reading the inscrutability of two men

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just going through all the professional dancers thinking, "Who would be the lower scorer?"

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-I don't know any of them!

-Ben, you're on 29.

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The high scorers are on 57. If you can score 27 or less, you're through to the next round.

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Well, I know three names so I'm not sure which one to go for,

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but I'm going to go for... Anton du Beke.

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Anton du Beke. There's your red line. Ben, below that red line

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you'll have scored less than Anthea and Claire and you'll be through.

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Above that, anything could happen. OK, Anton du Beke. Is that right and how many people said it?

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Well, it's right.

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You're through! 22! Very well done!

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22 takes your total up to 51. You are in the next round.

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-Richard?

-Well played, Ben. I Look forward to that celebration being repeated by the other teams.

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-I wasn't expecting it!

-He's one of the professionals.

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-Now then, Brian...

-Yes.

-You're on 34. The high scorers are still Anthea and Claire on 57.

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This means 22 or less will see you into the next round.

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We're looking for dancers in the 2011 Strictly Come Dancing.

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-Brian, come on.

-It's not fair.

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-No.

-No.

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-Oh, Brian, you must know...

-I can do it, can't I?

-You can do it.

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-I'll dig into my psyche.

-Dig.

-Audley Harrison.

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Let's see if Audley Harrison is correct and how many said it.

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It's right!

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It's right.

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-And you are through! Very well done!

-Yes, I did it!

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12 points!

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-You didn't even dig that deep.

-I didn't have to dig that deep.

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-No.

-I'm afraid I watched it all.

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-Cos I knew I'd be on this.

-Very good. Well done. That's our best score so far.

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12 for Audley Harrison takes your total up to 46. Very well done.

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That's some acting right there. You looked in such pain.

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-I was!

-You looked like a man without a television.

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-Now then, Bill.

-Yeah(!)

-The high scorers are on 57.

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-You are on 15. If you can score 41 or less...

-OK.

-..you are through.

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The irony of this is I was asked to do Strictly,

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so if I'd said yes, which I didn't, I could have just said, "I was on it!"

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If you had done it, you wouldn't be here. You'd be on tour.

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I wouldn't. I'd be on crutches! And that's for sure! Em, OK...

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We've got two choices here, I think. Holly Valance.

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How many people said Holly Valance?

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It's right.

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You've done it! 26!

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26, Bill. Takes your total up to 41. Very well done. Richard?

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Can I say genuinely what an absolute disgrace Bill, Brian and Chris all are?

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All three of you. Absolute disgrace. Poor old Anthea and Claire admitted to watching it

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-and they got knocked out!

-That's Pointless!

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Funnily enough, Ben-Ryan and Georgia, you avoided saying your mate Chelsee Healey.

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-She'd have only scored you four.

-You're joking?!

-Best answer.

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I think everybody knows Chelsee, but perhaps not the surname.

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Let's look at the pointless answers. Flavia Cacace, she danced with Russell Grant. Pointless answer.

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Pasha Kovalev, he danced with Chelsee.

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And Robin Windsor, who danced with Anita Dobson. All pointless.

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Let's look at the top scorers.

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Some will be familiar. Edwina Currie scored 33.

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Jason Donovan, 34. Rosalind said it.

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-And, Claire, Lulu was the most popular of all.

-The top answer!

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Wow. Well, thank you, Richard.

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So at the end of Round One, the losing pair with the highest score is Anthea and Claire!

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-Oh, never mind! Can we sit in the audience and watch it?

-Yes!

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-We're really enjoying it...now!

-I really thought you'd be the best in this round.

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I got very excited when I saw TV talent shows.

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-On a normal Pointless, I'd know I'd see you next time.

-I know. Never mind.

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-This is it.

-OK, well, listen, thank you so much for playing.

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Anthea and Claire, wonderful.

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But for the remaining three celebrity pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

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There's only room for two pairs in the Head to Head, so one team leaves at the end of this round.

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Our category for Round Two is... food and drink.

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-Oh, no(!)

-Food and drink.

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Can you all decide who is going to go first and who will go second?

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And whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

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OK. Our second round question concerns... food and drink in French.

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Food and drink in French. Richard?

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We'll give you six words in French. We need the English that corresponds to that. Give us an obscure answer,

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you'll score fewer points. An incorrect answer scores 100.

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There will be 12 to have a go at.

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Thanks, Richard. So food and drink in French. You have to translate it into English. And we have got...

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HE READS THE LIST

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I'll read those again.

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There are your six. I have to remind you not to confer!

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-We're not conferring!

-He wants to go first.

-The decision is made.

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Oh, look at that tyrant!

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LAUGHTER

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Mean bully! After all we've been through.

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I'm afraid you made the decision when you forced Rosalind up front.

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Bill, you are first up there. What do you think of that board?

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I think some of it's just fine and some of it means absolutely nothing to me.

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-I'm going to say miel. And then you want to know what it is. It is honey.

-Honey, says Bill.

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Let's see if that's right and how many said miel, honey.

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It's right.

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Wow. Down it goes. Look at that - 24.

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Not a bad score at all, Bill. 24 for miel, honey.

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Well done, Bill. Good answer. And honeymoon is lune de miel.

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-They've just nicked that from us.

-They did. We've nicked some words from them, to be fair.

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-Biscuit.

-Yeah, I guess.

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That's the only one.

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Thanks very much, Richard. Rosalind...

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Em...

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I'm going to go with oeuf.

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-Egg.

-Oeuf, egg, says Rosalind. Let's see if that's right

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and how many people knew that.

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It's right.

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Oh! 64 of our 100 knew that.

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Still done with a smile on your face, Brian. Nice to see.

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At least it's the right answer. Some people say it's where love comes from in tennis. L'oeuf.

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-It looks like a zero.

-Le oeuf.

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Now then, Ben, we're looking for the English names of these food and drink items.

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-You can fill in all the blanks if you like.

-Is it "poiver"?

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-Whatever you want it to be.

-It doesn't matter. I don't have a clue!

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I'll go for chicken. ..Come on!

0:22:200:22:24

-LAUGHTER

-OK.

-Give us a chance!

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-It does come before the egg.

-LAUGHTER

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Poivre.

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OK, you're going to say chicken. Let's see if poivre is chicken and how many people knew that.

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Bad luck, Ben.

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Unfortunately, an incorrect answer so you score a maximum 100 points.

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-Sorry. Richard...

-Not chicken. It's pepper.

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-Pepper?!

-Do not go to Kentucky Fried Poivre in France.

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-Let's go through the rest. Escargot, Alexander?

-Snail.

-Absolutely right.

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But that would have scored you 82 points.

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-Pamplemousse, one of the world's great words...

-Why not adopt it?

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-It's better than grapefruit.

-It's misleading. Pamplemousse sounds lovely and grapefruit is...meh.

0:23:160:23:23

LAUGHTER

0:23:230:23:24

So let's stick with grapefruit. Grapefruit also slightly oversells it.

0:23:240:23:30

-Grape - mmm! Fruit - mmm! Grapefruit...

-Less so.

0:23:300:23:35

-And Barbe a Papa. Know that?

-Candyfloss.

-It is. Best answer.

0:23:350:23:40

-Well done if you said that.

-Candyfloss - mmm! Daddy's Beard?

0:23:400:23:45

Eeew!

0:23:450:23:48

OK, halfway through. Let's look at those scores.

0:23:490:23:53

Bill and Chris, very strong on 24.

0:23:530:23:56

Up to 64 and Rosalind and Brian.

0:23:560:23:59

And then up to 100 for Ben and Georgia. Georgia, on the next pass,

0:23:590:24:04

you've got to score as low as you possibly can and hope that's enough. Best of luck.

0:24:040:24:09

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

0:24:090:24:14

OK, we're going to put six more French foods or drinks on the board.

0:24:150:24:20

-Here they are. We have got...

-HE READS THE LIST

0:24:200:24:23

-Cuisses de Grenouilles!

-LAUGHTER

0:24:260:24:30

READS LIST AGAIN

0:24:320:24:34

That's my favourite word in any language, anywhere in the world.

0:24:410:24:45

Grenouilles!

0:24:450:24:47

OK, remember, we are looking for the English translations of these food or drink items.

0:24:470:24:53

You want the one fewest people knew.

0:24:530:24:57

-Georgia, you're the high scorers.

-Pomme de terre rings a bell,

0:24:570:25:02

-but I don't really know what it is.

-LAUGHTER

0:25:020:25:06

-Vin. Is that wine?

-You're going to say vin, wine?

-Yeah.

0:25:070:25:12

Is it right? How many people said vin, wine?

0:25:120:25:16

It's ri... It's ri... It's right.

0:25:170:25:22

-It's right, but sadly 95 people knew that one.

-At least I got it right!

0:25:220:25:28

-She got it right, yeah.

-That takes your total to 195.

-I think we're in with a chance.

0:25:280:25:35

You won the battle of Waterloo Road. You won it by a clear five points as well.

0:25:350:25:40

Yeah, vin.

0:25:400:25:42

It's wine.

0:25:420:25:44

-Brian.

-Oh, I don't know any French!

-Listen, here's the good news.

0:25:440:25:49

Georgia and Ben - this is sad, but they will be leaving us because they are so far ahead

0:25:490:25:55

that even if you score 100 points you will not overtake them.

0:25:550:25:59

We're looking for the English names of these items of French food.

0:25:590:26:04

Champignon. Er, mushrooms.

0:26:040:26:06

Let's see if that's right and how many said it. No red line. Champignon, mushroom.

0:26:060:26:13

It's right.

0:26:140:26:16

54!

0:26:180:26:20

Very well done, indeed. 118 is your score.

0:26:200:26:25

-Richard...

-Very well done, Brian. Absolutely right. Your daughter was delighted.

-Yes.

0:26:250:26:31

I feel bad. I got an A in French. He did better than me.

0:26:310:26:35

Chris, you don't need me to tell you what your score is, but dazzle us.

0:26:350:26:40

-Fill in all the blanks.

-OK. Riz is rice, cuisses de Grenouilles is frogs' legs,

0:26:400:26:45

-pomme de terre is potato. I'll go for thon, which is tuna.

-Let's see if that's right

0:26:450:26:51

and how many said thon, tuna.

0:26:510:26:54

It's right.

0:26:550:26:57

15!

0:27:010:27:03

Really not bad at all. Your total is 39.

0:27:030:27:06

The best total by a margin. 39. Thon, tuna.

0:27:060:27:12

You took us through the board perfectly. The only answer to beat that is cuisses de Grenouilles,

0:27:120:27:18

-which would have scored 10.

-Oui.

-Riz would have scored 27.

0:27:180:27:22

-And pomme de terre. Do you know it, Georgia?

-Potato!

0:27:220:27:27

-It would have scored 70 points.

-Thank you, Richard.

0:27:270:27:31

-At the end of Round Two, the losing pair is Ben and Georgia!

-That's all right.

0:27:310:27:37

-I'm sorry. It's one of those things. You either know it or you don't.

-Pretty much.

-And you don't.

0:27:370:27:44

What's your abiding memory of your time on Pointless?

0:27:440:27:47

-That I was five points ahead of him.

-Yeah, that'll follow me forever now.

0:27:470:27:52

-Polish up on my French?

-Yes.

-I'd rather not say it, just eat it, really.

-OK.

0:27:520:27:59

Fair enough. Can't say fairer than that.

0:27:590:28:02

It's been lovely having you. Thank you so much for joining us. Fabulous contestants.

0:28:020:28:09

But for the remaining two celebrity pairs, things get even more exciting as we enter the Head to Head.

0:28:120:28:18

Well, congratulations, Chris and Bill, Brian and Rosalind.

0:28:240:28:28

You are now only one round away from our final and the chance to win the jackpot, which stands at £2,500.

0:28:280:28:36

-There we are.

-CHEERS

0:28:360:28:39

Only one pair can play for that money and so you now go head to head.

0:28:390:28:44

For each question, you will be shown five options.

0:28:440:28:48

Each pair needs to answer just one of them and you can now confer.

0:28:480:28:53

Score less than the other pair and you win that question. Win two and you will play for the jackpot.

0:28:530:29:00

Let's play Head to Head.

0:29:000:29:02

Right.

0:29:070:29:08

Here's your first question and it concerns...nuts.

0:29:080:29:13

-Richard?

-With the sort of high-octane jeopardy you rarely see on BBC1 on Saturday nights,

0:29:150:29:20

we'll show you five pictures of nuts. You have to identify the most obscure of those to win.

0:29:200:29:26

Thank you. So let's reveal our five nuts and here they come.

0:29:260:29:31

OK, there are the five nuts. Chris and Bill, you've played best so far and you get to go first.

0:29:430:29:51

Name one that you think the fewest of our 100 people would have recognised.

0:29:510:29:57

We're going to go for E. Pistachio.

0:29:570:30:00

E, pistachio.

0:30:000:30:02

OK. Now, Brian and Rosalind, you can now speak up if you like.

0:30:040:30:08

That's a good one. I was torn. I think A is Brazil.

0:30:080:30:12

C is macadamia, B is hazelnut and D is walnut. I'd say macadamia, C.

0:30:120:30:17

-And that's B, is it?

-C. I would say C is macadamia.

-Are you sure?!

0:30:170:30:23

-I am.

-We're going for C.

0:30:230:30:25

-What are you going to say, Brian?

-I was going to say...

-Macadamia.

0:30:250:30:30

-What kind of nut?

-Macadamia.

-Back of my throat.

0:30:300:30:34

-A macadamia nut.

-I would have chosen something else, but we've gone for C, macadamia.

0:30:340:30:39

OK, right. Chris and Bill have gone for pistachio, which is E.

0:30:390:30:44

Let's see if that's right and how many people said pistachio.

0:30:440:30:48

It IS right.

0:30:480:30:50

64.

0:30:520:30:53

64 for pistachio.

0:30:550:30:58

Now, Brian, on Rosalind's advice you have gone for macadamia.

0:30:580:31:03

In my inner palace of Sherlock Holmes, I feel that C is the answer.

0:31:030:31:08

Your mind palace says C. OK, C, macadamia.

0:31:080:31:12

You've gone with Rosalind. Let's see if that was a good move.

0:31:120:31:16

Is it right and, if it is, how many people said it?

0:31:160:31:20

It's right!

0:31:200:31:22

And you were right to listen to Rosalind.

0:31:220:31:26

-20! That's an excellent score!

-By Jove!

0:31:260:31:31

Very, very well done. You did absolutely the right thing listening to Rosalind there.

0:31:310:31:37

It means, after one question, you are up one-nil.

0:31:370:31:41

An object lesson to listen to Rosalind. Macadamia is the best answer there.

0:31:410:31:46

If you'd said Brazil nuts, which is A,

0:31:460:31:50

-it would have scored you 83!

-I'd never have done it!

0:31:500:31:55

-Yes, you would.

-LAUGHTER

0:31:550:31:58

B is another fairly decent answer. It's the hazelnut.

0:31:580:32:02

That would have scored 45 points.

0:32:020:32:05

D is the walnut.

0:32:050:32:07

That's the highest answer with 90 points.

0:32:070:32:11

I was thrown by those pistachios. It's the scale. I thought they were scary.

0:32:110:32:16

-You thought they were enormous nuts?

-Enormous nuts.

0:32:160:32:20

-"Look at the size of those nuts!"

-And then I thought, "Aah!"

0:32:200:32:24

-Just a bit. "Aah!"

-But, Rosalind, you know your nuts.

0:32:240:32:29

-Very well done.

-Let it not be said that I don't.

0:32:290:32:32

-So here comes your second question. Chris and Bill, you have to win this to stay in the game.

-I know.

0:32:320:32:39

It concerns... Wimbledon men's singles finals.

0:32:390:32:44

Wimbledon men's singles finals.

0:32:440:32:46

We'll show you five classic Wimbledon men's singles finals,

0:32:460:32:50

but only the players' initials. Can you tell us the players, please? The most obscure one will win.

0:32:500:32:56

OK, thanks very much, Richard. Let's reveal the five Wimbledon men's single final champions.

0:32:570:33:04

-And they are...

-HE READS THE LIST

0:33:040:33:08

I'll read them again.

0:33:190:33:22

And Brian and Rosalind, you go first this time.

0:33:310:33:35

Oh, no, it's very difficult. You know one, do you?

0:33:350:33:40

-Yes, but I don't know tennis.

-So it might be a high score.

0:33:400:33:44

It would be, that's why I said that.

0:33:440:33:48

I'm going to go for BB v JM.

0:33:480:33:52

Bjorn Borg versus...

0:33:520:33:55

-John McEnroe. 1980.

-OK.

0:33:550:33:58

We've got Bjorn Borg versus John McEnroe. OK.

0:33:580:34:02

-So, Chris and Bill, you can talk out loud.

-OK.

0:34:020:34:06

Well, we think we've got them all except one loser!

0:34:060:34:11

-Shall we go for what? Number three, Chris?

-Yeah.

-It's a boat. SS.

0:34:120:34:17

Stan Smith and Ilie Nastase in 1972.

0:34:170:34:22

-Yes, of course!

-OK. We have Bjorn Borg and John McEnroe,

0:34:220:34:26

Stan Smith and Ilie Nastase.

0:34:260:34:29

In the order they were given, Brian and Rosalind have gone for Bjorn Borg and John McEnroe.

0:34:290:34:35

-Let's see if that's right and how many people knew it.

-One or two(!)

0:34:350:34:41

It's right.

0:34:410:34:43

29!

0:34:470:34:48

-29.

-It won't beat... It won't beat Stan Smith.

0:34:510:34:55

Chris and Bill, Stan Smith and Ilie Nastase. Let's see if that's right and how many people said that.

0:34:550:35:01

It's right.

0:35:030:35:05

It needs to beat 29.

0:35:050:35:08

And it does! Very well done. You are still in the game.

0:35:080:35:12

Great answer. Down to 13.

0:35:130:35:16

So after two questions, Chris and Bill and Brian and Rosalind are on one point apiece.

0:35:160:35:22

Well played, Bill and Chris. Both finals went to a final set, as is this Head to Head.

0:35:220:35:28

Let's go through the ones we didn't get. RN v RF is Nadal v Federer.

0:35:280:35:32

But that would have scored you 36 points.

0:35:320:35:36

The other two would have won the point. Goran Ivanisevic v Pat Rafter. That was three points.

0:35:360:35:42

The final one is pointless.

0:35:420:35:44

It's Pete Sampras v Jim Courier.

0:35:440:35:47

In 1993. Very well done if you got all five of those at home.

0:35:470:35:52

Here comes your third question. Whoever wins this will play for that jackpot in the final.

0:35:520:35:58

It concerns... Queen Victoria. Richard?

0:35:580:36:02

We'll give you five clues to facts about Queen Victoria. The most obscure one will win the point.

0:36:020:36:09

Thanks very much, Richard. So here are our five facts about Queen Victoria. We have got...

0:36:090:36:15

HE READS THE LIST

0:36:150:36:17

I'll read those all one more time.

0:36:290:36:32

Now then, Bill and Chris, you go first this time.

0:36:390:36:43

-I really don't know.

-Her death was...

-I wasn't alive!

-Were you not?

0:36:430:36:47

I was counting on you being alive then. We'll have to go for consort.

0:36:470:36:52

Em...

0:36:520:36:54

-Because we really don't know any of them, we'll go for name of consort.

-We know one!

-Albert.

0:36:540:37:00

-I'm not even confident about that!

-The name of her consort, Albert.

0:37:000:37:05

-Now then, Brian and Rosalind, you can talk out loud.

-Shall we go for Mrs Brown?

0:37:050:37:11

I think John Brown was a consort.

0:37:110:37:13

-But we...

-But the film, portrayed by Judi, whom I've worked with many times, in this studio,

0:37:130:37:19

many years ago in Z Cars she was my girlfriend.

0:37:190:37:24

-Judi Dench. And so I think we'll go for safety and say the film Mrs Brown.

-I'll go with that.

0:37:240:37:31

So we have Prince Albert and Mrs Brown.

0:37:310:37:34

In the order they were given, Chris and Bill have said her consort was Prince Albert.

0:37:340:37:40

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

0:37:400:37:44

It's right!

0:37:440:37:46

63 people said Albert was her consort.

0:37:460:37:51

Brian and Rosalind have said that Mrs Brown was the film in which Judi Dench played Queen Victoria.

0:37:550:38:02

Is that right? How many knew that?

0:38:020:38:05

It's right.

0:38:060:38:08

-You've done it!

-WE'VE DONE IT! WE'RE THERE!

0:38:080:38:12

27!

0:38:120:38:13

There you are. 27 beats 63,

0:38:150:38:19

-which means after three questions Brian and Rosalind are through 2-1. Richard?

-Marvellous!

0:38:190:38:25

-We were the outsiders!

-To be fair, you kept saying that.

0:38:250:38:30

-"I don't know anything about this." But you did.

-I didn't pull the wool over your eyes, Richard?

0:38:300:38:37

I wasn't fooled for a minute. Not for a second.

0:38:370:38:41

Year of death is the highest scorer left on the board. Do you know that?

0:38:410:38:46

-1901.

-Absolutely right. That would have scored 38 points.

0:38:460:38:50

-Number of children? She had nine.

-Nine?!

-Nine children.

0:38:500:38:55

She was survived by 40 grandchildren. Imagine Christmas!

0:38:550:39:00

16 points that was. And first given name. Anyone know? It scored two.

0:39:000:39:05

-Well done if you knew it at home. Alexandrina.

-Alexandrina!

0:39:050:39:09

-A female Alexander.

-A female Alexander. She ditched it the minute she became Queen.

0:39:090:39:16

-You called yourself Victoria for a brief time in the mid-'90s.

-True.

0:39:160:39:21

-My friends still call me that.

-You say friends, you mean clients.

-LAUGHTER

0:39:210:39:27

Ah... Richard, thank you very much.

0:39:280:39:31

So the losing pair, I'm sorry to say, is Chris and Bill.

0:39:330:39:37

-AUDIENCE: Awww!

-Thank you. Thank you.

0:39:370:39:41

-Your Queen Victoria knowledge, I was surprised.

-Yes, those long hours sitting in the hide...

0:39:410:39:47

-Counting the nine children.

-Yes!

0:39:470:39:50

-Alexandrine are parakeets. Possibly named after Queen Victoria.

-Almost certainly.

-It probably is!

0:39:500:39:58

-We should have known.

-Chris and Bill, thank you for coming and being such excellent sports.

0:39:580:40:04

-It's been a great pleasure.

-Thank you.

0:40:040:40:08

But for Brian and Rosalind, it's now time for our Pointless final!

0:40:080:40:12

-Well, congratulations, Brian and Rosalind. You have fought off all the competition.

-Yes, yes, yes.

0:40:170:40:23

-And you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

-THAT'S WHAT WE WANT!

0:40:230:40:28

-Oh, marvellous. It's a trophy!

-You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

0:40:330:40:39

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £2,500.

0:40:390:40:44

OK, the rules are very simple. All you have to do is find a pointless answer.

0:40:470:40:52

-We haven't had any today.

-None!

-You only have to find one now and you go home with that money.

0:40:520:40:58

First, you choose your category. You have five options. Have a look at these.

0:40:580:41:04

I would lean towards musical song lyrics for me. If you know any of the others...

0:41:110:41:17

Well, I was in Cats, the musical,

0:41:170:41:20

and Chitty...and Bang Bang and Metropolis.

0:41:200:41:24

There's no end to my talents. Female celebrities might bring back bad memories!

0:41:240:41:31

-Are you happy with musical song lyrics?

-Ecstatically so.

0:41:340:41:39

-Well, that looks like it.

-OK.

-It's the best we can do!

-Let's find out what the question is.

0:41:390:41:45

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many animals mentioned in If I Could Talk To The Animals

0:41:450:41:52

-as they could. Richard?

-Any species or breed that appears in the lyrics of If I Could Talk To The Animals

0:41:520:41:57

from the 1967 film Doctor Dolittle, please.

0:41:570:42:02

-Oh, great. I don't know any!

-If it's a species or a breed, we'll accept that.

0:42:020:42:07

You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers. All you need to win that £2,500

0:42:070:42:13

-is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Yes, love.

0:42:130:42:19

Let's put 60 seconds on the clock. There they are. Your time starts now.

0:42:190:42:25

-# If I could talk to the animals... Da da da da de... #

-I know the tune!

0:42:250:42:29

What animals?

0:42:290:42:32

Yes, but when he's walking along he's singing to...

0:42:320:42:36

He sings to giraffes, to zebras, he sings to seals.

0:42:360:42:41

-Cos he's in a circus. And he sees a llama... he sees a llama and a camel.

-Oh?

0:42:410:42:48

He sees a llama and a camel, he sees penguins...

0:42:480:42:52

and he sees... he sees things like that.

0:42:520:42:57

-OK.

-I think...

-OK. If we're going to come down on the side of three animals,

0:42:570:43:04

what would you say?

0:43:040:43:06

I'd go for the camel, the...the...the camel...

0:43:060:43:11

-And the seal.

-The seal.

-The seal balancing things.

0:43:110:43:15

-10 seconds.

-Did you say llama? Is there a llama involved?

0:43:150:43:19

-Yes.

-That would be the order?

-Yes. Alpaca, yes.

0:43:190:43:23

Your time is up. We now need three answers. Animals mentioned in the song lyric

0:43:240:43:30

If I Could Talk To The Animals and I now need your three answers.

0:43:300:43:35

-There's a seal.

-Seal?

-Seal.

0:43:350:43:39

-Yes.

-The camel.

-Camel.

0:43:390:43:41

-And a...a zebra.

-Seal, camel, zebra.

-Right.

0:43:410:43:47

-Of those three, do you want to put one...?

-Seal the last.

-Last?

0:43:470:43:51

-Camel second, zebra first.

-OK, OK. So zebra is your least likely to be pointless.

-Yes.

0:43:510:43:58

-Your seal the most likely.

-Yes.

-I wonder if any of them are in it!

0:43:580:44:03

-Let's put them up on the board...

-Yeti! No.

-..in that order. Here they are.

0:44:030:44:10

Zebra. Camel. Seal. Do you have any idea if they actually feature in the lyrics?

0:44:100:44:15

I've just seen them in the film. The seal had rings on its nose. It's a difficult question.

0:44:150:44:22

We wanted animals mentioned in If I Could Talk To The Animals.

0:44:220:44:27

Zebra was your least confident shot. You only need one pointless answer, remember,

0:44:270:44:32

to win that £2,500 jackpot. So let's see if zebra's right and how many said it.

0:44:320:44:38

No!

0:44:410:44:42

OK. Unfortunately, that's not a pointless answer,

0:44:420:44:47

so you only have two more chances to win today's jackpot. Who is it for?

0:44:470:44:52

The Born Free Foundation. Virginia McKenna, for her animals.

0:44:520:44:57

-APPLAUSE

-Yes, indeed. Excellent.

0:44:570:45:00

-Very good. And Rosalind?

-It's a joint effort.

-Very good indeed. An excellent cause.

0:45:020:45:09

We are looking for animals mentioned in If I Could Talk To The Animals. Zebra was wrong.

0:45:090:45:15

Let's hope your next answer is right. Camel.

0:45:150:45:19

Let's see if it's correct and how many of our 100 people said it.

0:45:190:45:24

-It's right!

-OH, MY GOD!

-Oh, hey!

0:45:270:45:30

It's right. Down it goes, Brian.

0:45:300:45:33

If this goes all the way to zero, you'll be leaving here with £2,500.

0:45:330:45:38

Down it goes! Oh! Look at that!

0:45:380:45:41

NO! NO!

0:45:410:45:43

-Oh...

-Oh, my God!

0:45:440:45:46

Brian...

0:45:460:45:49

Who said that?! Who was it? LAUGHTER

0:45:490:45:52

-That's the unkindest cut of all.

-It's all right.

0:45:530:45:57

-I know who it was if you want to know.

-Yes.

0:45:570:46:02

-It was Bill Oddie.

-Bill Oddie!

0:46:020:46:05

-It was a good guess.

-What about that?

-I saw the camel.

0:46:070:46:11

What about that? One for camel. You only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

0:46:110:46:17

£2,500. Everything is riding on the seal.

0:46:170:46:21

-Oh, Alexander.

-We were looking for animals mentioned in the song If I Could Talk To The Animals.

0:46:210:46:26

Your third and final answer was seal. Is it right and how many said it? Seal.

0:46:260:46:32

Oh, no!

0:46:360:46:38

It was a good effort.

0:46:390:46:41

Now then...

0:46:470:46:49

Unfortunately, you didn't find that all-important pointless answer

0:46:490:46:53

so you don't win today's jackpot of £2,500. However, as it's a celebrity special,

0:46:530:47:00

-we will donate £500 to each celebrity pair to their respective charities.

-Marvellous!

0:47:000:47:06

-Richard has the answers, though.

-I do. It's very unlucky.

0:47:080:47:13

Seals aren't mentioned, but sea lions are mentioned in the song.

0:47:130:47:18

It rhymes with "two or three lions".

0:47:180:47:21

-If you had said sea lions...

-Yes?

0:47:210:47:24

..that column would have gone all the way down to one again!

0:47:240:47:28

It would have been awful. Let's look at the pointless answers.

0:47:290:47:33

Seven answers would have won the money. See if anyone at home got them. Antelope, crab, crocodiles.

0:47:330:47:41

All pointless answers. Pekinese, pelican - rhymes with "like hell he can" - turtle

0:47:410:47:47

and the walruses.

0:47:470:47:50

-Walruses and sea lions.

-I saw them!

-Sea-based.

0:47:500:47:54

Brian and Rosalind, I'm so sorry. You didn't win the jackpot,

0:47:540:47:58

but you have been fantastic players. You've come storming through,

0:47:580:48:03

but unfortunately now we have to say goodbye. A big, big round of applause for our winners,

0:48:030:48:09

Brian and Rosalind Blessed!

0:48:090:48:12

All that remains is to say thank you to all our celebrity pairs -

0:48:140:48:18

Anthea and Claire, Ben and Georgia, Chris and Bill and our wonderful finalists, Brian and Rosalind.

0:48:180:48:25

-Thank you!

-Join us next time to test more obscure knowledge. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

0:48:260:48:33

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

0:48:330:48:35

Very well done.

0:48:370:48:39

Subtitles by Subtext for Red Bee Media Ltd - 2012

0:48:530:48:57

Celebrities test the depths of their general knowledge in this special edition of the quiz, with Brian Blessed and Anthea Turner among the stars trying to come up with the answers no-one else could think of. Presented by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman.