Episode 4 Pointless Celebrities

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and a very warm welcome to a special celebrity edition

of Pointless - the quiz show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Every single question on Pointless has been asked to 100 people before the show.

To be in with a chance of winning our final round jackpot

our celebrities need to come up with the answers

the fewest of our 100 people could think of.

Let's meet today's Pointless celebrities.

APPLAUSE AND CHEEIRING

First up, we welcome Iwan Thomas and Katharine Merry.

Well, thank you.

Now, Katharine, as an Olympic bronze medallist,

Iwan, as a European Commonwealth champion,

I mean, surely any questions on athletics,

one would like to think, would be comfortably within your grasp.

-You'd hope so, wouldn't you?

-You'd like to think.

You'll know everything, I'm pushing it all onto you.

-She's a statto Queen, she knows everything.

-Really?

You keep all the facts and figures there?

Katharine, you were the fastest girl on the planet at the age of 14.

Many, many years ago.

Then you were the fastest woman on the planet over 400 metres.

-A few years ago, yeah.

-But that's... That's amazing.

But then, I watch this programme and I've never had

a pointless answer, and that's what really matters.

It doesn't matter how fast we used to run,

-it's about pointless answers, and I've never had one.

-Only for 45 minutes.

-Anything you'd hate to see come up?

-History.

We both thought that today, history's not good.

OK, very, very best of luck, it's great to have you on the show.

And next, please welcome Sherrie Hewson and Carol McGiffin.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Well, now, we know you both, Sherrie and Carol, as presenters on Loose Women,

but how long have you been working together?

-Er, oh...

-Nine or ten years.

-Ten years now, yeah.

So you'd think we'd know each other, wouldn't you?

-Who is she?

-I don't know who she is.

You see, I was thinking,

Loose Women must be the best training for Pointless,

cos you cover everything.

What are you trying to say?

I'm just saying, you're going to win, is what I'm saying.

-I don't think so. If you've got subjects like men, and...

-Knickers...

-..women and what they think of men...

-Bras...

..and underwear and things like that, we're going to clean up.

-Looks like you're going to clean up.

-Yeah, knickers, bras, men,

what women think of men...

Yeah, we're there, we're there.

Sherrie, have you got any sort of surprise little niche interests that might...?

No, I'm very good on bananas. Anything to do with bananas.

-Dogs.

-Dogs! I'm very good on dogs.

-Dogs, bananas, very good.

-So there's no hope.

Sherrie and Carol, a very warm welcome to the show.

Very, very best of luck.

Next we welcome Paul and Barry Chuckle.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Well, obviously as brothers - you are brothers!

-We are brothers, aren't we?

-I didn't realise you really were.

-Oh, yes. Somebody told us we were, didn't they?

-Yes, they did.

Was it me mum?

LAUGHTER

You must know each other inside out.

We do, I think, don't we?

I don't know your insides, but your outs are well-known.

But you know each other's strengths and weaknesses are.

We certainly do, yes.

My strength's just about everything, and Barry's got none at all.

Perfect, perfect couple.

Except for the size of his nose, of course, it's massive.

Any other surprising interests, Barry?

Yes, well, I like gardening.

Don't I? But don't ask me any questions on flowers.

I know what they look like and I can pick them out, but I don't know their names.

OK, so no questions on gardening, but you like gardening.

I like gardening.

-You see what I mean?

-Yeah, I'm getting there.

Paul, how about you? What would be good for you?

Good for me? Sport, any kind of sport.

Geography, I like geography.

Of course, you've toured everywhere, haven't you?

You've done cabaret, you've performed everywhere.

We've done ice shows, everything, haven't we? A circus...

-Pantomime...

-Anything to get some money, you know.

LAUGHTER

Paul and Barry, it's lovely to have you here. Very, very best of luck.

And finally we've got Arlene and Alana Phillips.

APPLAUSE

Now, Arlene, of course, we know you as a judge

from Strictly Come Dancing and now from So You Think You Can Dance?

Would you please kindly introduce your team-mate.

Right. I am here with my make-up artist and my daughter, Alana.

APPLAUSE

Now then, Arlene, you've done the choreography

for countless West End shows, haven't you?

Yes, yeah.

Gosh, Wizard Of Oz, Sound Of Music, We Will Rock You,

Starlight Express, Grease, Saturday Night Fever...

I should know everything about dance,

I should know everything about musicals,

I should know an awful lot of things,

and I'm hoping that I'm not going to be hopeless and helpless,

and I'm hoping I'm going to be truly pointless.

I'm sure, I'm sure you are.

Alana, what would be good subjects for you?

-Shoes.

-Shoes. Yeah, they come up a lot on the show.

I know about shoes!

And handbags!

Handbags. You've got it all covered there.

Shoes, make-up.

I sound very shallow.

Any blind spots for you?

-Geography.

-OK.

-Useless.

-Right, geography...

-Or maths.

Or maths. So we're doing adding or taking away... OK, very good.

Well, we'll discover what lies in store.

Welcome to the show, and very best of luck, Arlene and Alana.

There's only one person left for me to introduce.

The last time he didn't know the answer to a question was 1984,

and that question was, "Is there anything you don't know?"

-He's my pointless friend, he's Richard.

-Hiya

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-How are you today?

-I'm very well.

-That's good.

I sometimes get a sixth sense about how shows are going to go.

This genuinely feels to me like it might be carnage.

LAUGHTER

Don't you reckon?

Even for our celeb special sometimes, sometimes you think,

"There's a couple of people there who'll pull through."

Today you're just thinking, "This is just going to be a wreck."

LAUGHTER

On a serious note, though, you remember for years and years people campaigned

for Bruce Forsyth to be knighted.

-Yes.

-And it took a very long time

and people couldn't quite understand and all that kind of stuff.

Barry and Paul Chuckle -

49 years in showbiz, not a Sir, not even an MBE!

APPLAUSE

We start the campaign now.

Don't you think, "Lord Chuckle of Rotherham?"

-Yeah.

-At least one of them, I don't mind which, you can't both have it.

-Arlene, you're an OBE, aren't you?

-I am, indeed, an OBE.

Don't you think they should join your illustrious company?

I think they should.

-Iwan, you've got an MBE?

-I have, yes.

Carol? Anything?

LAUGHTER

No! Not yet!

Unbelievable.

Well, if you win this, maybe along with the trophy

you'll get a little something - Dame Carol.

As I say, I think it is going to be carnage,

and that carnage is going to begin in round one.

OK, right from the off.

Thank you very much, Richard.

All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show,

but we are looking for the obscure answers they didn't get.

To stay in and have a chance to win our jackpot,

all our celebrities need to do is score as few points as they can.

Obviously, what everyone's trying to do is to find a pointless answer,

which is an answer none of our 100 people could think of,

and every time that happens we will add £250 to the jackpot.

As today's show is a celebrity special

and each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity,

we start off with a jackpot of £2,500.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, in this first round each of you must give me one answer

and you cannot confer with your partner.

Whichever team has the highest score

at the end of the round will be eliminated.

If you give me an incorrect answer you will score the maximum of 100 points,

so really try and avoid those if you can.

OK, our first category is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many words ending

in "ONG" as they could.

-Richard.

-We're looking for any word in the Oxford English Dictionary

that ends ONG. As always, no proper nouns

and no hyphenated words, please.

Any word ending ONG. Very best of luck.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Now then, Iwan and Katharine, you all drew lots before the show,

and today you are going first.

So, Iwan, in your own time,

a nice, obscure word ending in ONG.

It may not be that good, I want to be safe, I'll go with wrong.

Wrong.

Let's see if wrong is right,

and if it is let's see how many of our 100 people said wrong.

44.

APPLAUSE

44 of our 100 people said wrong,

which means you score 44.

Yes, wrong.

It means wrong.

This is going to be fun.

I'm wanting definitions from you on all of these.

-Sherrie.

-Well, I'm trying to think of the name of that game,

and I can't think of the name of it.

It is something like "Mayjong", or...

You know that...that Chinese game with the...

With the little thingies and the Chinese,

and you go like that and then you go...

You know, what you do with it...

All right, Mah-Jong.

Sherrie is saying Mah-Jong.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Mah-Jong.

Bad luck, Sherrie.

I thought that was going to be brilliant.

I thought it was going to be brilliant, as well.

For some reason that's incorrect, so you score 100 points.

-I'm very sorry. Richard.

-Yes, sorry,

the mime was exemplary, but it's not one word,

-I'm afraid, hyphenated.

-Is it? I didn't know that.

Sorry, Carol.

It's all right.

LAUGHTER

Paul, remember, we are looking for words ending in ONG.

I'm going for throng.

Throng. Throng, very good indeed.

The audience like that.

Throng - let's see if that's right,

how many of our 100 people said throng?

12!

APPLAUSE

That's a great answer.

Lovely low score there, Paul, for throng.

Yes, crowded mass of people.

Like the throng clamouring for Paul and Barry to be knighted.

LAUGHTER

Yes. Now then, Arlene, a nice, obscure word ending ONG.

Well, a very old-fashioned word is coming into my mind.

Furlong.

Furlong. Oh, she's good!

She's very good.

Let's see if that's right.

Obviously it's right, come on.

Let's see how many people said furlong.

Very well done indeed, Arlene! 2!

APPLAUSE

Superb answer. Furlong.

Very well played, Arlene, best answer of the round.

1/8 of a mile is a furlong.

Horse races, obviously, are measured in miles and furlongs.

Thank you very much.

We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

Arlene and Alana, that's amazing - 2, what a lovely low score there.

Then we come to 12, where we find Sir Paul and Sir Barry.

Then we are up to 44, where Iwan and Katharine are.

And then, I'm afraid, Sherrie and Carol, you're on 100.

-Which means, Carol...

-Pressure's on.

Somebody else might give a wrong answer,

but a lovely low score from you will help.

We just have to hope it's enough to see you through to the next round.

OK, we're going to come back down the line,

can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we're looking for words ending in ONG.

Now, listen, Alana, Arlene gave such a good word there,

you scored only 2.

Can I just say, she took my word.

That was my word!

-Really?

-Honestly, seriously.

In that case, if you're good enough to come up with furlong

you can come up with another great answer.

The high scorers are Carol and Sherrie on 100, you're on 2.

A score of 97 or less will see you through to the next round.

Oh, God, sorry, is it my go?

Yes. Yeah.

-I thought you were going round again.

-No, no, no.

No, it's you.

Oblong.

Oblong? Oh, it's another great word!

Oblong, says Alana.

There is your red line.

If you get below that red line you are through to the next round.

Oblong, says Alana. Is it right? How many people said it?

It's right.

5. Very, very well done indeed. 5 takes your total up to 7.

-That's a team to be reckoned with, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

Oblong, very well done, a rectangle with a length greater than its width.

Barry, you're on 12, the high scorers are Carol

and Sherrie on 100, which means a score of 87 or less will see you

-straight through to the next round.

-Right.

I've got one. Erm, prolong.

-PAUL GASPS

-Ooooh!

-These are all much better than the one I've got!

-Have you got one?

No, I've got one, but I'm not sure, I think mine would be 100, actually.

-I think it might be disallowed.

-Will you say it at the end?

-I'll say it at the end.

OK, prolong. Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said prolong.

It's good.

And you're through.

Oh! The best score!

APPLAUSE

The joint lowest score of the round.

-Two takes your total up to 14. Richard.

-Great answer, Barry.

As in, let's not prolong the wait for the Chuckle Brothers' knighthood!

LAUGHTER

-Carol. You are the high scorers on 100.

-I know.

Remember, we are looking for words ending in "ong".

I mean, I've got a word that I think people don't use much any more.

But I'm pretty sure it's a real word. But then, maybe not.

But I'm going to go for it, because I've got nothing to lose, really!

Because we're on 100.

-Erm, pong.

-Ooh!

Pong.

-People don't say that any more.

-Pong.

-They do in Rotherham!

-You do!

LAUGHTER

Well, let's find out. Pong. How many people said pong?

-No red line for you, because you are the high scorers.

-I know.

-I'm sorry.

-Yes, it's right.

-It's a real word.

Do people say it any more?

-30.

-Oh, well done!

30. Not bad. Takes your total up to 130.

Well played, Carol. An unpleasant smell, a pong.

But also a videogame in more recent times.

One of the forerunners of videogames, Pong.

Katharine, the highest scorers are Carol and Sherrie on 130,

which means a score of 85 or less

will see you through to the next round.

OK, I have a couple.

Both are reasonably obvious, so therefore might be quite high scoring.

So it's just a case of which one I go for.

You can tell us what you're thinking, and then choose one. Give us both of them...

Oh yes, everyone's played. Well, there's really obvious ones like "strong" and stuff like that.

Yeah.

And then I've got two.

Erm...

shall I go for...

belong,

or shall I go for...

thong?

I'm a bit worried about thong, because I'm not sure, you know,

whether it's going to be in or not. It has to be in.

-Thong has to be in.

-You're going to go for thong?

-I'm going to go for thong.

-Here comes your red line. Nice and high.

-Oh, my Lord, this is horrible!

-If thong goes below the red line, you're through.

I don't know why I'm grabbing my bum!

How many people said thong? Is it right?

It is right.

-And you are through.

-You know when you just don't know?

Oh, look!

It's great. 24. Great answer.

-Takes your total up to 68.

-You do worry though, don't you?

-That's why I don't worry.

-Richard.

Well played and better than belong, which would have scored 30 points.

I wonder what country they wear the most thongs in.

-We should have a Eurovision Thong Contest to find that out.

-Italy!

Let's take a look at some of the pointless... I'm so sorry.

Let's look at some pointless answers.

There's plenty of quite well-known words up here,

quite interesting ones as well.

Biltong is a dried South African meat.

Birdsong, all one word.

Evensong is well, that's a pointless answer.

Headlong would have added £250 to the jackpot. Headstrong, livelong.

Plainsong. Souchong, the tea.

Also Oolong, the tea, would also have been a pointless answer.

-And swansong, as in, this is Sherrie and Carol's swansong, sadly.

-Yes.

Let's take a look at the top answers. The ones that most of our 100 people said.

So these would have been the worst answers you could have given.

-Wrong, from Iwan, we had.

-Sorry about that!

It's only the third worst answer. It's bronze, it's bronze!

LAUGHTER

Song would have scored you 61. And right up the top, long, on 62.

Very well done if you got any of those pointless answers at home.

What was your word? Did you have one? Don't say it was one of the ones on the board?!

No, I don't think it would be allowed. Re-tong.

-Re-tong?

-Yeah.

-What, as in something being tonged?

-You'd be tonged and then "Oh, hang on, a quick re-tong.

-So, re-tong?

-Yeah, re-tong.

Well, the good news, Sherrie, is you haven't given the worst answer in the round.

Re-tong very much the worst. That's 100 points every day of the week.

-Why, because it's got a hyphen?

-No, because it's not a word!

-It must be a word!

-How is that a word? When are you needing that?

-Re-tong. It's a cracking answer.

Thank you very much, Richard. So at the end of the first round,

the losing pair, with the highest score, it's Carol and Sherrie.

-It wasn't meant to happen like that!

-No, it wasn't!

-Oh, I'm sorry.

But it was a brilliant answer. The best, bravest answer of the round.

-We want an inquiry.

-Did you have any others, Sherrie?

Thong, I was going to say, but I thought, that sounds stupid!

LAUGHTER

That's why I was worried!

Oh, dear, oh, dear.

Well, we have to say goodbye to you now. It's just completely wrong.

-I know!

-Bye-bye.

-I thought you were destined for the final.

-But there we are.

-Oh, well.

-Carol and Sherrie.

-Thank you.

Thanks so much for playing. Brilliant contestants.

But for the remaining three celebrity pairs, it's now time for round two.

Obviously there's only going to be room for two celebrity pairs in the head-to-head,

so one of the teams in front of me now will be leaving us at the end of this round.

Our category for round two is sports stars.

GROANING

Sports stars.

Can you all decide in your pairs who is going to go first,

who is going to go second.

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

Our round two question concerns...

..sporting siblings. Richard.

In each pass, we're going to give you the name of six sports stars,

you have to give us the name of their sibling who plays or played

the same sport professionally. Give us a nice obscure answer, you'll score fewer points.

Give us an incorrect answer, that will be 100 points.

12 siblings in all to identify at home.

OK, so we're looking for the sporting siblings of these people, and we have got...

So, there are six sports stars,

you need to give me the name of their siblings.

And as always on Pointless, you're looking to find the one you think the fewest of 100 people knew.

-Katharine, this is just easy for you, isn't it?

-No!

-Isn't it?

-No!

I'm going to go with the football one,

and I'm going to go with Gary Neville's brother, being Phil.

Phil. Phil Neville. OK, let's see if that's right,

and if it is, how many people knew that answer?

It's right.

-49.

-APPLAUSE

-Don't worry.

-It's not bad.

-I've got a good one.

49 for Phil Neville, so good answer, Katharine,

there's some tough ones on that board.

Phil's twin sister, Tracey, as well. Plays netball for England as well.

-Oh, no! I know her!

-Really?

-Yes. I know Tracey!

-Well, that's a talented family.

-You know Tracey Neville, do you? She plays netball, doesn't she?

-Yes.

-For England.

-Oh!

-And she's got a twin brother called Phil.

-And she's got a dad called Neville!

-Yes. Has she? I forgot about that!

Thanks very much, Richard. So then, Paul. Sporting siblings.

I'm going to go for Francesco Molinari, in the golf.

And his brother is Edoardo Molinari.

Edoardo Molinari, says Paul.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people knew that answer?

Edoardo Molinari.

It's right.

Oh, that's a great answer, Paul!

Well done.

Very, very good indeed. That scores you two. Brilliant. Richard.

Very good. The Molinari brothers both played in the Ryder Cup for Europe.

Won the World Cup in golf for Italy. Both in the world's top 50.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Now, Arlene, you're the last person to have this board.

-So if you like, you can fill in all the blanks.

-Sure.

I know very little about sport,

and I've watched those big butch rowing boys

and I cannot remember what the other one's called. Can you believe it?

So, I'm not even going to try for a pointless answer

because I know it's the same one that everybody knows.

I'm going to go for Venus and Serena Williams.

You're supplying Serena Williams as Venus's sister.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

Yeah, it's right.

-APPLAUSE

-73.

73 for Serena Williams.

Yes, it's the best tactic, Arlene,

much better than getting 100 points, gives you a chance to stay in the round.

Let's take a look at the rest of the answers.

The other hunky Searle brother, he won the coxed pairs in 1992

with his brother, is Greg Searle.

-Would have scored you three points. Vitali Klitschko's brother is, Katharine?

-Wladimir.

-Wladimir Klitschko, absolutely right, would have scored 14.

-Aaargh!

And Joe Davis's brother?

Fred Davis.

Absolutely right.

Well played, Barry, Fred Davis, and that would have scored you nine points.

So the best answer on the board there, Edoardo Molinari, well done,

and well done if you got all six of those at home.

Thanks very much, Richard. We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

Paul and Barry, once again.

Lovely low score, this time you are the lowest scorers, two.

That's wonderful, then up to 49, where we find Katharine and Iwan,

and then up to 73, where we find Arlene and Alana.

Now, Alana, you'll get first pick of the next board.

So make sure you find a really good obscure answer that you know.

-Is it sports again?

-Yeah.

-Ah.

-And let's hope that'll be enough to keep you in the show.

Right, we're going to come back down the line,

can the second players please take their places at the podium.

OK, we're going to put six more sports stars on the board,

and here we go.

We have got...

I'll read those all one more time.

And remember, you are looking for the siblings of these sports stars,

and you're trying to find the one

that the fewest of our 100 people would have known.

Alana, you're the highest scorers on 73.

-I don't know any!

-SHE GIGGLES

Really?

Really, I knew... I knew four on the other board,

I don't know any on this one.

OK, you're going to have to make up a name.

-OK!

-This is going to be fun.

Um...

Oh, wait. Uh...

Can you just read the bottom one again?

The bottom one is Bobby Charlton.

He was a footballer.

Yeah, no.

LAUGHTER

-SHE GIGGLES

-Um...

Oh, no!

Paul Underwood!

Paul Underwood?

-Paul Underwood, the rugby player.

-ARLENE LAUGHS

Is it right, how many people said Paul Underwood?

No!

Bad luck, Alana, I'm afraid that is an incorrect answer,

so I'm afraid you do score 100 points.

Your total is 173. Richard.

Yes, sorry, Alana, not Paul Underwood,

but you know it's not all bad, cos you got the surname right.

-Yay!

-LAUGHTER

-Now then, Barry.

-Yes.

Remember we are looking for the sporting siblings

of these sports stars.

The high scorers are out of your reach -

Alana and Arlene are on 173.

Even if you score 100 points, which I know you won't,

you are through to the next round whatever happens.

Good.

-THEY LAUGH

-Well...

I'm going to play safe, then, and I'm going for...

Bobby Charlton's brother, Jackie Charlton.

-Bobby Charlton's brother, Jackie Charlton, you are saying.

-Yes.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many people said it, no red line for you as you're already through.

Yes, it's right.

-43.

-APPLAUSE

43 takes your total up to 45.

Well played, Barry.

Of course, the interesting thing about the Charlton brothers -

one of them is knighted, and the other one is not knighted.

Which raises the question which everyone will be asking at home,

which one of the Chuckle Brothers do you knight first? LAUGHTER

Is it Paul or Barry?

That's interesting.

I'm thinking Paul, currently.

LAUGHTER

Iwan, you are on 49, even if you score 100 points,

you won't overtake Alana and Arlene on 173.

So remember, we are looking for the brothers or sisters

of these sporting celebrities.

I'll go for, er... Andy's big brother, Jamie Murray.

Andy Murray's brother, Jamie.

Andy Murray's brother, Jamie, you're saying.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

Again, no red line for you, as you're already through.

It's right.

15.

-APPLAUSE

-That's great, that's a very good answer.

15 takes your total up to 64.

-Richard.

-Well played, Iwan, safe and sound.

He's a terrific doubles player, Jamie Murray, won the Wimbledon 2007 mixed doubles,

also plays doubles with Andy Murray in the Davis Cup.

-Did anyone want to fill in any of those others, Rio Ferdinand's brother?

-Tony?

-Anton.

-Anton Ferdinand, yeah. Would have scored 27 points.

Now, let's clear up Rory Underwood, not Paul Underwood...

-Tony Underwood.

-Absolutely right, would have scored eight.

Leon Spinks's brother?

-Michael?

-Michael Spinks, absolutely right, well done, Katharine,

would have scored you three.

Now, believe it or not, there is a pointless answer on this board.

And it's Karen Josephson, synchronised swimming.

-Anybody want to have a go at that? I'll give you 12 guesses.

-Elizabeth.

-Lucinda.

Not Elizabeth or Lucinda.

-Paul.

-No... Oh, Paul! That's so close.

It's Sarah Josephson, Sarah Josephson.

Very well done if you said that at home.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So at the end of round two, the losing celebrity pair

with the highest score, I'm afraid, is Arlene and Alana.

You had a dream round one.

-Flying high, round one.

-Absolutely flying high.

And falling from the clouds in round two, because it was sport.

Oh, dear.

I'm sorry, well, you were so good in round one,

take memories of round one away with you.

Thank you.

Alana, Arlene, you've been wonderful contestants,

it's been lovely having you on the show, thank you so much for playing.

APPLAUSE BOTH: Thank you!

But for the remaining two celebrity pairs,

things are about to get even more exciting now,

as we enter the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Well, congratulations Paul and Barry, Iwan and Katharine,

you are now only one round away from the final,

and a chance to play for the jackpot, which currently stands at £2,500.

APPLAUSE

Now, obviously only one pair can play for that money,

and to decide which pair it's going to be, you're now going head-to-head.

For each question, you'll be shown five options on the board.

Each pair needs to answer just one of them,

but you are now allowed to confer.

All you have to do is score less than the other pair

and you will win that question.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for the jackpot.

So, it's the athletes... versus the Chuckle Brothers.

OK, let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question. And it concerns...

Sights of Paris, Richard.

We're going to show you five pictures of sights in the City of Paris -

all you have to do is name the most obscure one. Good luck.

Very good indeed. So let's reveal our five sights of Paris.

Paul and Barry looking quietly confident here. Here they come...

So there they are - our five sights of Paris.

Paul and Barry, you've played best throughout the show so far, so you get to go first.

We'll pick one of the obvious ones, I think. B, Notre Dame.

B, Notre Dame, say Paul and Barry.

Iwan and Katharine, you can confer out loud,

-or you can just take us through the board.

-We're debating A,

but it might be a bit risky -

I think we'll go safe with E...

..and we believe it's Roland Garros.

Iwan and Katharine are going for Roland Garros.

Paul and Barry have said B, Notre Dame.

Let's see if that's right,

and how many of our 100 people knew that. Notre Dame.

It's right.

68.

Iwan and Katharine have said E,

Stade Roland Garros.

Let's see if that's right,

and how many of our 100 people knew that answer.

Yes, it is...

and you've won the question.

Oh, it's a great...

Very good. So, Iwan and Katharine, after the first question you are up 1-0.

Only sports people would go for an "obvious" one, and then go for the best answer on the board,

by some way. What were you going to say for A? You were tempted...

Stade de France. It looked like

-a stadium from the outside.

-It's the Pompidou Centre.

Would have scored you 11 points.

There we see Notre Dame. C is the Louvre,

that would have scored 41 points.

And the Blackpool Tower(!)

Well, it's the Eiffel Tower - how many points do you think that scores?

-96.

-Maybe even 100.

-No, not that high. I reckon about 60-odd.

-100.

-Wow!

-100 points.

Yes, there we are.

And the Stade Roland Garros, where they hold the French Open.

Named after the pioneering aviator, Roland Garros.

-Can I say one question about the French, though, genuinely, that perplexes me?

-What?

Why have the Chuckle Brothers not got a Legion of Honour? LAUGHTER

-You haven't got one, have you, guys?

-No.

-Cos I know if you had got one

-you'd probably keep it very low down, be quite humble about it, but we'd have heard.

-Yeah.

-What else do the French want?

-Yeah. What?

The Olympics?

LAUGHTER

Touche!

Right, here comes your second question.

Paul and Barry, you have to win this.

-To you...

-To me.

LAUGHTER

I wonder what that is in French.

-You probably know how to say that in French, don't you?

-A toi.

A moi. LAUGHTER

A toi... A moi.

A toi...

Legion d'Honneur!

LAUGHTER

(THICK FRENCH ACCENT) "Les freres...Chuckleuh!"

(In a world of their own, aren't they?)

Right, here comes your second question, and it concerns...

Hugh Grant films, Richard.

We're going to list five Hugh Grant films for this question, but only the initials.

Can you work out what the films are, and give us the most obscure one? Good luck.

OK, here come our Hugh Grant films in initial form. And we have got...

I'll read those all one more time.

Now then, Iwan and Katharine,

-you go first this time.

-OK...

-Yeah.

-What have you got?

-We're ready.

OK, you've got one?

Do you want to tell me?

-Are you sure?

-Yeah, it is. 100%.

Well, you heard it here. It's 100%.

Well, I hope it's not 100 up there, but... About A Boy.

About A Boy, obviously for AAB. Sounds good.

Iwan and Katharine are saying About A Boy.

Paul and Barry. You need to win this point to stay in the game, remember.

I don't think we'll beat that. That's going to be a low one.

We'll go for Bridget Jones's Diary.

OK, AAB and BJD.

So, Iwan and Katharine have said AAB is About A Boy.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many of our 100 people said About A Boy.

35.

APPLAUSE

-That's quite high.

-Yeah.

-I mean, who knows?

Paul and Barry have gone for BJD,

which they say is Bridget Jones's Diary.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said it.

35 is the score to beat.

It's right...

45!

APPLAUSE

45.

Bad luck, Paul and Barry. I'm afraid About A Boy has pipped you,

which means after only two questions, Iwan and Katharine are through to the final 2-0. Richard.

Yeah. Really well played.

Over your careers you must have vanquished

many fearsome opponents on starting lines

and gone past them round a bend and thought "I can never beat this person",

but surely you can't have dreamed you would beat The Chuckle Brothers.

Michael Johnson's got nothing on them.

There's a couple of answers that would have beaten About A Boy.

FWAAF wouldn't have beaten it, that's Four Weddings And A Funeral,

and that would have scored you 76.

SAS is Sense And Sensibility. Would have scored 14 points.

And DYHATM? was from 2009, he starred with Sarah Jessica Parker -

she got nominated for a Golden Raspberry

for worst actress, for Did You Hear About The Morgans?

Which would have scored 10 points. Well done if you got that at home.

Well, thank you very much, Richard.

So the losing pair at the end of the head-to-head is Paul and Barry. Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear!

AUDIENCE: Awww!

But you've come through this Pointless like a knife through butter. A hot knife at that!

Two lovely low scores in the first two rounds.

D'you think the knighthood's out of the window now?

Not at all. I think your graciousness in defeat, if anything, has just put the seal on that.

Paul and Barry, it's been heaven having you on the show. The Chuckle Brothers!

But, for Iwan and Katharine it's now time for our Pointless Final.

Congratulations, Iwan and Katharine, you've seen off the competition and won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot for your nominated charities.

At the end of today's show the jackpot stands at £2,500.

-APPLAUSE

-We'll have some of that.

The rules are very simple. To win that money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

We haven't had any on the show today.

You only need to find one pointless answer now,

and you will go away with that £2,500 for your charities.

Firstly you've got to choose a category, and you can choose from these five options...

-Nothing jumps out at me.

-20th Century Literature

may as well not be there.

Country music, see you later.

-Formula 1 I do watch a lot of, and I do like...

-Go on, then.

-Formula 1, yeah?

-Go on, then. Yeah, Formula 1.

Formula 1 it is. Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many

winners of the British Grand Prix as they could. Richard.

Yes, any F1 driver who's won the British Grand Prix

since the start of the World Drivers' Championships in 1950.

Some of those early years, driving duties and points were shared so there may be more than one name -

we'll accept either name.

So any driver that has won a British Grand Prix from 1950 all the way through to 2011. Very best of luck.

You have up to one minute to come up with three answers,

and all you need to win that £2,500 for your charities

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-OK.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock...

There they are. Your time starts now.

-Nigel Mansell's too obvious. Damon Hill...

-Well, we know the names...

-You've got the obscure names like...

-Jacques Villeneuve.

-Did he win it?

-Vettel must have, but he's too obvious...

-He's too obvious.

-Webber's won it.

-What about Damon's dad? Did Graham Hill win it?

-I reckon Webber might be one of them.

-But we need old ones.

Cos the names nowadays... People are going to get the names nowadays.

Graham Hill, for one.

OK. What about when they were REALLY old cars, that were going slow?

-Like erm...what's his name, the British guy?

-Jackie Stewart.

Stirling Moss and people like that.

-Jackie Stewart...

-Come on, we need three.

Jackie Stewart.

-10 seconds.

-OK.

-Erm...

-Go Graham.

-Graham Hill.

-And Jack Villeneuve, did he win it?

-Well, let's go for an obscure one...

Yeah, we'll go that.

There's your time up.

Winners of the British Grand Prix - I now need your three answers.

We just went for Formula 1 drivers' names!

Jackie Stewart, I hope he won it.

OK. Jackie Stewart...

You going for Damon's dad?

-Yes, Graham Hill.

-Graham Hill.

Jacques Villeneuve as well. We could even have them wrong.

OK. Of those three, which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

For obscurity, I'd say Jack Villeneuve.

-Probably cos he didn't win it, but yeah.

-OK, we'll put Jacques Villeneuve last.

And which is your least likely pointless answer?

-Between Jackie Stewart and Graham Hill.

-Graham Hill.

OK, so we'll put Graham first, Jackie Stewart second,

and Villeneuve...

I apologise to all Formula 1 fans at home

if we've got all three wrong, but we've tried to be a bit out there.

OK, so let's put them up on the board in that order And here they are...

So we were looking for winners of the British Grand Prix.

Graham Hill was your least confident answer.

Remember you only have to find one to win £2,500 for your charities.

Graham Hill - your first shot at the jackpot.

Is it right, and if it is, how many people said Graham Hill?

Ohhh!

He was the one I thought had won it!

-Oh, no.

-His son won it, didn't he?

Yeah, that was too obvious.

I'm afraid that's not a pointless answer,

which means you only have two more shots at today's jackpot.

OK. We're looking for winners of the British Grand Prix.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer, Jackie Stewart.

Jackie Stewart. OK.

It has to be right and it has to be pointless for you to win that £2,500.

How many people said Jackie Stewart? Is it right?

That's more like it. Jackie Stewart is right. This, for £2,500...

Down it goes into the 40S into the 30S.

If this goes down to nothing, you leave here with...

APPLAUSE

11.

OK. 11. For Jackie Stewart.

You only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

Everything is riding on Jacques Villeneuve. This is a shot in the dark.

I remember he went out with Dannii Minogue, that's it.

Do you know if he even won?

We don't know!

We just went for a reasonably obscure one

that the public might not be so familiar with, and again

we didn't worry about the British Grand Prix part, we just went for reasonably obscure!

If you do win, what are your nominated charities, Iwan?

For myself, I'm an ambassador for Macmillan Cancer Support,

but I'm also going to split it with the Ron Pickering Memorial Fund,

which helps up-and-coming athletes.

So two good charities there. I apologise now in advance to them watching.

Two excellent charities, very well done.

APPLAUSE

And Katharine, how about you?

I'm an ambassador of the Special Olympics GB,

to help special needs athletes go around the world and perform.

So fingers crossed.

Another excellent charity. Very best of luck to both of you.

We are looking for winners of the British Grand Prix.

Your third and final answer was Jacques Villeneuve.

You said this was your most confident shot at a pointless answer.

It has to be pointless, has to be correct,

for you to win that jackpot of £2,500 for your charities.

Is Jacques Villeneuve right, and if it is, how many people said Jacques Villeneuve?

-It's right!

-Come on.

-At least it's right.

So Jackie Stewart went down to 11,

Graham Hill was in non-starter,

but Jacques Villeneuve has everything riding on him.

-Down he goes.

-Come on! Come on!

-Yes, you've done it!

-APPLAUSE

Oh, very well done.

Brilliant. Fantastic.

Oh, congratulations! Jacques Villeneuve was a pointless answer,

which means you take the jackpot of £2,500 for your charities.

-It means so much for the charities.

-Thank you!

That was inspired guesswork, though, that was superb.

Had a weird feeling, but you were looking at me like I was an idiot.

No, I know absolutely nothing!

-Never know anything.

-It means so much more, cos it's for charity.

I've never had it a pointless answer when I've watched it.

I've said to you before. And for charity, and pointless, oh, super!

Well done, you. Absolutely fantastic.

-How about that, Richard?

-Very well played, that's a real kick off the bend and a dip for the line.

You did know Villeneuve, it's one of those things that was in

the back of your head, cos he won it twice.

He won it in '96 and '97.

Graham Hill didn't win it - Damon Hill did, in '94, he was 17 points.

Let's take a look at some other pointless answers.

The Italian Alberto Ascari won it in '52 and '53,

the Argentinian Carlos Reutemann, Emerson Fittipaldi, the Brazilian.

Jacques Villeneuve won it twice. John Watson, the Brit, won it in '82 at Silverstone.

Gonzales also won it twice.

And then some big names on the last board - Juan Pablo Montoya, Kimi Raikkonen

and Rubens Barrichello, all pointless.

Alan Jones, Jody Scheckter, Fangio, all those pointless as well.

-Very, very well done, guys.

-I can't believe we won it.

Well, thanks once again to our winning celebrities,

Iwan and Katharine, who go away with today's jackpot of £2,500.

CHEERING AND WHISTLING

And a huge thank you to our other celebrity pairs,

Sherrie and Carol, Arlene and Alana, Paul and Barry.

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test.

-Meanwhile it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd