Episode 8 Pointless Celebrities

APPLAUSE

Thank you. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to a special celebrity edition of Pointless,

the quiz show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Every question on Pointless has been asked to 100 people before the show.

To be in with a chance of winning our jackpot,

our celebrities need to come up with the answers that the fewest people could think of.

Let's meet our Pointless celebrities.

First up, we welcome Steve Pemberton and Sam Stockman.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

You're found working together on the drama Whitechapel

where, Steve, you play Edward Buchan and, Sam, you play DC Kent.

-But what obscure knowledge have you picked up?

-My character is meant to be a sort of crime historian.

I sit at a desk and chip in with the odd annoying bit of esoteric information. A bit like your friend.

Hey! That's not a bad gig if you can get it.

-It's not bad, is it?

-It's comfy, isn't it?

-Yeah.

What are the things you've been in, Sam?

-Apart from Whitechapel...

-Wire In The Blood, obviously.

-And Holby City.

-What else? I'm sure there was something else.

-I might have worked with you on Doctor Who.

-That's exactly what I'm thinking of.

-We fought the war together.

-We certainly did.

-In a fictional sense.

-Steve, you've been on Doctor Who as well.

-I have, yeah.

Are you both good at the Whoniverse, as I believe it's called, if that comes up?

Yeah, it's got a lot of very dedicated fans.

-I've never had as big a welcome into my children's playground as the day after I was in Doctor Who.

-I bet!

-Sam, what would you like to see come up?

-I'd love football to come up.

-What's your team?

-Aston Villa.

-LAUGHTER

-OK...

-Do you hear that?

-Sam, you host a pub quiz.

-That's true.

-I do host a pub quiz.

-So you're quite a quizzer?

-Don't say that.

-Yeah, but you ought to be pretty good.

-I've picked up a few things. We do some silly rounds as well.

-We do those.

-We do some stupid stuff.

-Stay tuned.

-Steve and Sam, it's lovely having you on the show. Very, very best of luck.

Next, please welcome Colin McAllister and Justin Ryan.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

We know you as home and property experts and you've been working together for many, many years,

so I imagine it would be pretty bad if DIY comes up... I mean, just say it did. It might.

I think we're pretty OK with DIY. I think we'd do all right there.

-It would be awful if you didn't know your DIY.

-Has it ever come up before in Pointless?

-No.

-There are lots of areas of knowledge that come from DIY.

-We have tools.

-Tools would be a good one.

-We know all about those.

Obviously, being a double act, like you two are a double act that do things that we don't do

-or we're a double act that do things that you don't do.

-I'm pretty sure that's right!

-In fairness. Power tools would be a good one.

-We could do anything you can do.

I tell you what we'll do right now. Just name anything. We'll do it.

You spend a lot of your year in Canada. You are huge there.

That's generous of you. We do a show called Colin And Justin's Home Heist on a big network over there.

-We do six months in Canada, six months in Britain.

-So questions about Canada,

-anything about maple syrup, Celine Dion, Nelly Furtado...

-Justin Bieber.

-We're your men.

-Count us in.

OK, we'll have to see. I have no idea what the game has in store,

-but I am sure you will be fantastic. Colin and Justin, welcome to the show.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Next, we welcome Angellica Bell and Konnie Huq.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Welcome to Pointless. You both started your careers presenting on children's TV.

Konnie, you went to what we like to call the Pointless Academy - Blue Peter.

-Yeah.

-It is. It's the crack training ground for Pointless winners.

Angellica, you were the face of CBBC for many years.

I can assume children's telly will be a good subject for you.

-Er...no.

-Really?

-LAUGHTER

And Blue Peter, you get a basic training... Actually, no, quite a detailed training.

You go to lots of stately homes and galleries and countries.

-You travel around?

-You travelled loads.

-Yeah, you get around.

-Yeah.

-I think you're going to be very, very good indeed.

-No.

-Konnie, you're an Economics graduate.

-I am.

-Angellica, a Politics graduate.

-I knew you were going to bring this up.

-It's true.

-It puts pressure on us.

-No, it doesn't.

-You never have an Economics category.

-Till today.

-Thanks for that, Konnie(!)

-Anyway, lovely having you here, Angellica and Konnie.

-Thank you.

Finally, we've got Angela Rippon and Lionel Blair!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Oh, Angela and Lionel, welcome to Pointless!

-We've danced together.

-Yes, we are the Fred and Ginger of the 21st century.

Do you know, that is just class, isn't it?

Shall we do away with the quiz and watch Angela and Lionel take the floor, give us 45 minutes?

-It's nice and shiny.

-We can do that.

-It's beautiful.

-We can do that.

You've both been on our screens for many years,

Angela as a newsreader and presenter of so many wonderful things. Morecambe And Wise, you appeared on.

You've presented programmes on medicine, countless programmes on travel.

You have covered so many areas. There's every chance you might be a Pointless queen.

I've just been very lucky with all the things I've been asked to do.

There's been that terrific variety, but like a lot of journalists,

what it means is you become a kind of ragbag of general knowledge.

You're never an expert in anything. You just have a bit of knowledge about a lot.

-This is the perfect preparation.

-We'll see.

-Second to being on Blue Peter, of course.

Lionel, choreographer. There can't be many people who know as much about the West End as you do.

Theatre will be very strong for you.

Well, I've worked in a few places in the West End.

-That will be a good category for you.

-Things about the Palladium would be very good.

-Songs of the '50s and '60s and '70s would be good.

-Anything you're dreading?

Like the Top 40 albums or Led Zeppelin's number one hits, I wouldn't know.

-Do you know?

-No.

-But films are good with you.

-Yeah, theatre is good with me.

-Show songs, show tunes are good with me.

-Very good.

Angela and Lionel, it's lovely to have you here. We look forward to discovering your hidden knowledge.

There's only one person left to introduce.

He could have been a professor if it weren't for his criminal record and his history of gang violence.

-He's my Pointless friend, he's Richard.

-Hiya.

-APPLAUSE

-Hello.

You see, normally, you just make those introductions up. Finally, a real one.

-Yeah, yeah. I thought the truth...

-It's probably best.

-I think so.

I'm always very neutral on these shows. I can't show bias towards any pair on these types of shows.

-Yeah.

-One thing I must tell you... You know we were going to do Led Zeppelin No.1s as our first round?

-Yes.

-Now we're doing show tunes of the '50s and '60s.

LAUGHTER

-Thanks!

-That's a propos of nothing.

-OK.

-All the pairs are terrified of who they're terming "Blair and Rippon".

-Well, I'd say the Bell-Huq team as well.

-Yeah, I think we've got four very good teams.

But I can't believe Konnie says she watches Pointless and didn't see our Quantitative Easing Special.

-We're always doing Economics.

-Yeah. Thanks, Richard.

All our questions have been put to 100 people before the show,

but we're looking for the obscure answers they didn't get.

To stay in the game, our celebrities need to score as few points as they can.

Everyone is trying to find a pointless answer that none of our 100 people gave

and each time that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

As today's show is a celebrity Pointless and each celebrity is playing for a nominated charity,

we start off with a jackpot of £2,500.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

In this first round, each one of you must give me one answer and you cannot confer with your partner.

The pair with the highest score at the end of the round is eliminated.

An incorrect answer will score the maximum of 100 points, so try and avoid those.

OK, our first category is...

Comedians. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many Live At The Apollo comedians as they could. Richard?

We're looking for the name of any comedian who has hosted or featured on the BBC series Live At The Apollo

from 2004 when it was Jack Dee Live At The Apollo through to the end of Series Seven in January 2012.

If they've appeared as a character and been credited as that character, we want the character name.

And just to let you know, we won't accept Jack Dee, I'm afraid. Sorry about that.

Steve and Sam, you all drew lots before the show and today, you are going first.

-Steve...

-Yeah.

-Comedians, Live At The Apollo.

-Yeah, I don't watch the show.

-Good(!)

So I'm going to go with someone who I think must have been in it.

She's a rising star, she's just won a British Comedy Award, and that's Sarah Millican.

Sarah Millican. Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said Sarah Millican.

It's right.

It's a great answer.

17 of our 100 people said Sarah Millican which means you score 17 points.

-Lovely answer, lovely comedienne.

-Isn't she just?

Very nice way to start the show with someone so lovely. And a good answer from Steve. Very well played.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now then, Colin...

It's at this time you think we spend way too much time in Canada. Canadian comedians?

A comedian...

Catherine Tate.

Catherine Tate, says Colin. Let's see if that's correct and if it is, how many people said Catherine Tate.

Oh!

Bad luck, Colin. It's a good answer.

Just a wrong answer, I'm afraid.

It scores you 100 points, I'm afraid. Sorry.

Sorry, Colin. Tough start. But she's lovely too. That's good. At least you're keeping the standards up.

-Uh-huh.

-Konnie, the most obscure comedian who has appeared live at the Apollo...

I'm not positive that she's been in it, but I'm pretty sure she's been in it.

-Shappi Khorsandi.

-Shappi Khorsandi, says Konnie. Is that right and if it is, how many people said it?

It's right. Very well done, Konnie.

Down it goes. Brilliant answer, Konnie.

Superb.

-Look at that - 2!

-APPLAUSE

-Shappi Khorsandi. Richard?

-That's amazing.

Very well played, Konnie. Best answer so far - the Iranian-born Shappi Khorsandi.

Lionel...

Yeah. I might have to go with Russell Howard.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Russell Howard.

Absolutely right.

Good!

Down it goes. Very well done, Lionel.

-APPLAUSE

-14, our second best score.

-Oh...

-Well done.

-Richard?

Yeah, welcome to Pointless, Lionel. Very nicely played.

Thanks, Richard. Let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

Konnie, that was a stunning answer from you. Lovely low score of 2 for you and Angellica.

Then we go up to 14 where we find Lionel and Angela, then up to 17 where we find Steve and Sam,

-then I'm sorry to say, Colin and Justin...

-Gutted of Glasgow!

-..on 100.

Justin, let's hope you've got a really good pointless answer.

"Hope" being the operative word. Comedy is not my forte.

Keep thinking about it. Can the second players take their places at the podium, please?

OK, we're looking for comedians who have appeared on Live At The Apollo.

Angela, you are on 14. The high scorers are Justin and Colin on 100.

-That means a score of 85 or less will see you through to the next round.

-Right.

"Daria O'Brian"?

There's your red line. If you get below it, you will have scored less

than Justin and Colin's total and you will be in the next round.

Let's see if it's right and if it is, let's see how many people said that.

It's right and you are through. Very, very well done, Angela.

-Oh!

-12.

-Well done.

That's a great answer, our second lowest score so far. It takes your total up to 26.

-Richard?

-Well played, Angela. It's Dara O Briain.

-Dara O Briain.

Now then, Angellica...

The problem is knowing that they've definitely been at Live At The Apollo. Do you know what I mean?

-I'm going to go with Russell Kane.

-Ohh!

-Russell Kane...

-LAUGHTER

-That's the only person I could think of.

-You didn't even let her finish saying it!

-This is my moment.

-Sorry, love.

-Bye-bye!

-Russell Kane...

-Yeah.

-Angellica says Russell Kane.

If you get below that red line, you are through to the next round.

Russell Kane - is it right and how many people said it?

-Come on!

-It is and you're through.

I think that's a great answer, Angellica.

Look at that!

-2.

-APPLAUSE

You equal the brilliance of Konnie. That's a great answer. Richard?

Very well played, Angellica. What a score, 4 points!

And a great case of stealing someone else's answer, or in this instance, "rustling" somebody else's answer!

-Now then, Justin...

-Right, comedy is so not my forte at all.

And Russell Kane, who I know, I would have gone for Russell Kane. That's now gone.

The only other comedian that I can think of is a really, really, really well-known comedian

and if I say his name, it's going to lose me the game,

but he's the only person I can think of.

-These two words are almost assembling a noose around my neck as we talk.

-Agh!

-Agh!

-Come on then, Justin.

Michael McIntyre. Oh! Who I adore, but he's obviously going to be one of the people most people will guess.

OK, Justin has said Michael McIntyre.

-I'm afraid, Justin, there's no red line for you because you are the high scorers.

-Ohh!

-Sorry.

Let's see if Michael McIntyre is right and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Still going down. 57.

-57.

-APPLAUSE

Which takes your total up, I'm afraid, to an unbeatable 157.

-Whoo!

-Sorry.

-Whoo!

-I'm sorry, Justin.

-Sorry, Justin. If it's any consolation, you won the battle of Justin versus Colin.

-There is always that.

-By a considerable margin as well.

-Goodness!

Now, Sam, great news - you're through to the next round. It doesn't matter what you say.

I bet there's a pointless answer or two and of course you'll know one.

OK, I'm going to go for Ed Byrne. I think the name's right. I don't know if he's been on it.

-Ed Byrne.

-Yeah.

-You are saying Ed Byrne.

Let's see if Ed Byrne's right. Maybe he'll be pointless. Let's see how many people said Ed Byrne.

It's right.

Oh! Very, very well done, Sam.

Not pointless, but the joint lowest score of the round.

That scores you 2. It takes your total up to 19.

-Ed Byrne, another lovely man.

-He's been on the show, hasn't he?

-He certainly has.

-He didn't win.

-It still rankles, I bet.

-He was unlucky.

-He was unlucky.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

Julian Clary, a pointless answer, Greg Davies from We Are Klang and The Inbetweeners movie.

Lee Nelson, who is a Simon Brodkin character.

Marcus Brigstocke's been on it once, Stephen K Amos has been on it twice

-and there's a Canadian comedian, Stewart Francis.

-Of course.

-Would have been a pointless answer.

-Yeah.

We've heard all three of the highest scorers.

Lionel gave us Russell Howard. 14 is the third highest scorer.

And Sarah Millican is the second most well-known answer on the whole board - 17.

And Michael McIntyre a long way ahead on 57.

Thanks, Richard. At the end of Round One, the losing pair with the highest score, Colin and Justin.

-It's over.

-I'm sorry.

-We came, we saw, we didn't conquer.

-You kind of conquered.

-We had a lot of fun.

It's frustrating because when you watch the programme, you know what's going on,

-but when you're up here on the podium, the answers smother you...

-Blah-blah-blah!

-I'm happy in defeat.

-Oh, blah-blah-blah-blah!

-Justin and Colin, it's been lovely having you on the show.

-Our pleasure.

-Thank you for playing.

-APPLAUSE

-But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

There will only be room for two celebrity pairs in our head-to-head,

so one of the teams in front of me will be leaving us at the end of this round.

Our category for Round Two is...

Oh!

-I did say.

-You said.

-Shakespeare.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, so our question concerns...

Shakespeare Quotes And Their Plays.

-Richard?

-On each pass, we're going to show you six Shakespeare quotes.

Tell us in which play they appeared.

An obscure one will score fewer points, but an incorrect answer will score 100 points.

12 quotes in all to have a go at at home. Best of luck.

Thank you, Richard. We are looking for the plays in which you would find these quotes from Shakespeare.

I'll read them all one more time.

So there are the six quotes.

You need to find me the Shakespeare play that the most obscure one came from, according to our 100 people.

-Now, Steve...

-I know about half of them,

but I think two of them are from the same play, so I must be wrong there probably.

I'm going to go with, "Out, damned spot, out, I say" from Macbeth.

I think it's Lady Macbeth who says that.

Steve is saying Macbeth for, "Out, damned spot, out, I say."

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people knew that answer.

It's right.

26.

-APPLAUSE

-26.

Not a bad score. And sort of reassuringly high, actually.

Not too bad. And you're absolutely right, Steve - Lady Macbeth,

-sleepwalking, imagining washing the blood of Duncan from her hands.

-Indeed.

-Konnie...

-Hi.

-Is this terrible for you?

This is terrible. I'm just going to go with Romeo And Juliet, "I'll no longer be a Capulet."

Romeo And Juliet, says Konnie. Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people knew that answer.

It is right.

-That's punishingly high. 59.

-APPLAUSE

-A lot better than 100.

-Good tactics, Konnie. Leave Angellica with a chance on the next pass.

From Romeo And Juliet. Shakespeare wrote the stage version of the Baz Luhrmann film.

LAUGHTER

-Lionel, you are the last person to have this board. You can talk us through it.

-Am I?

-Yeah.

"A pound of flesh" is Merchant Of Venice.

"We happy few, we band of brothers," I think is Henry V.

"The course of true love never did run smooth..."

I think is The Taming Of The Shrew.

You are going to say The Taming Of The Shrew for "the course of true love never did run smooth".

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

No!

Oh, bad luck, Lionel.

That was a brave answer, but, I'm afraid, an incorrect one which means you score 100 points.

-I was right on the other two, I know.

-Richard?

-Sorry, Lionel. It's from A Midsummer Night's Dream.

-Oh, blast!

-Lysander to Hermia, Act One, Scene One.

-And I played Puck at Stratford.

-Oh, darling!

You were quite right about "we happy few, we band of brothers", Henry V, and it was a very low scorer.

-Oh, blast!

-It would have got you 5 points.

"A pound of flesh," quite right again, Merchant Of Venice, but a bigger score - 35.

-"My salad days"?

-I'm going to go for Antony And Cleopatra, I think.

-Are you sure?

-Antony And Cleopatra? I'm pretty sure it's Cleopatra, yeah.

Yeah, it is. It's the best answer on the board as well - 2 points. Well done if you got all of them.

Let's take a look at the scores. 26, the lowest score of the pass from Steve there,

so Sam and Steve looking very, very strong indeed.

Konnie and Angellica at 59, not bad at all, in the middle of the field,

then Lionel and Angela, I'm so sorry to say, 100 points, and you knew a 5-pointer there.

Angela, if you find a nice, low-scoring answer on the next pass and somebody else makes a mistake,

you will be in the next round.

Can the second players take their places at the podium?

OK, we're going to put six more Shakespeare quotes on the board and here they come.

We are looking for the Shakespeare plays these quotes come from.

There we are. Obviously, Angela, you are trying to find the one that the fewest of our 100 people knew.

-Angela, you are the high scorers on 100 points.

-Yes.

We want a nice low score from you.

I do know some of them, but they're probably very high scorers.

Em, I'm going to go with, "He will come to her in yellow stockings,"

which I think is from Much Ado About Nothing.

OK, Angela is saying Much Ado About Nothing for, "He will come to her in yellow stockings."

You are the high scorers so there's no red line for you.

Is it right? How many people said it?

Oh, bad luck!

Bad luck. Bad luck. Angela, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

It takes your total up to an unbeatable 200, I am sorry to say.

-This can't be right, can it?

-No, I don't think so.

-Is it too late to change the scoring system?

Now then, Angellica, here's the good news.

Even if you score 100 points, you won't overtake Angela and Lionel's score of 200. So, phew.

Pressure off. So have some fun with the board.

I think I know four. I might take on the one that Angela just did.

I think it's Twelfth Night.

OK, let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said Twelfth Night

for, "He will come to her in yellow stockings"?

-It's right!

-OK.

Very, very well done indeed, Angellica.

Another lovely low score for you. 3 takes you up to 62.

-Richard?

-Well played, Angellica, yes. Maria says it about Malvolio.

-Yes.

-They trick him

-into visiting Olivia.

-Sam, we come to you. You're on 26.

Even if you score 100 points, you won't overtake Angela and Lionel.

-Talk us through the board. I bet you know all of these.

-No.

I am ashamed to say Shakespeare isn't my forte. There's a couple of easy ones, but it's for charity,

-that's why we're here.

-Yeah.

-So I'm going to mention an obscure Shakespeare play that I know of

and I have no idea if it's right.

I've heard of a Shakespeare play called Timon of Athens...

I think.

Em...yeah.

So I'm going to assign that to...

-"She were an excellent wife for Benedick."

-OK!

Sam says, "She was an excellent wife..." is Timon of Athens.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it. No red line.

Strangely not.

-Alas, alas. It scores you 100 points.

-I was too obscure.

-Through, though.

-It doesn't matter. Richard?

-Exactly the right thing to do.

-Angela and Lionel, do you want to do the rest?

-"Et tu, Brute?" is Julius Caesar.

-Absolutely right.

-"Kiss me, Kate," is...

-"Alas, poor Yorick!" is Hamlet.

"Kiss me, Kate," is Taming of the Shrew. "She were an excellent wife." I thought that was Twelfth...

-That's Much Ado, isn't it?

-That's Much Ado.

-Much Ado About Nothing.

-"O, brave new world"?

-I don't know.

-Tempest?

-Yes, it's The Tempest. Absolutely right, Steve.

Let's fill in the scores. That would have scored five.

"Et tu, Brute?" is Julius Caesar. That scored 48.

"Alas, poor Yorick!" Absolutely right, Hamlet. That scored 51.

"Kiss me, Kate," is Taming of the Shrew. 27.

And, "She were an excellent wife for Benedick," Much Ado About Nothing. That's five.

-The best answer was Twelfth Night.

-There we are. Brilliant. Thank you.

So, at the end of Round 2, the losing celebrity pair is Angela and Lionel.

-AUDIENCE "Awww!"

-No, it's sadder than that.

You knew it all, for heaven's sake. We've got to say goodbye to you. I can't bear it.

You were going to be the king and queen of Pointless.

Thank you both so much. It's been wonderful having you on the show. Brilliant contestants.

But for the remaining two celebrity pairs, things get even more exciting in the Head to Head.

Congratulations, Angellica, Konnie, Steve and Sam. You are one round away from playing for the jackpot,

which currently stands at £2,500.

Only one pair can play for that money and to decide which pair it is you will now go Head to Head.

For each question, you'll be shown five options.

Each pair needs to pick just one option. You are now allowed to confer. Score less than the others

and you will win that question. The first pair to win two questions will be playing for the jackpot.

Well, so, we have the presenters versus the actors.

I have to say, Angellica and Konnie have been the lowest scorers in both of the first two rounds.

They seem to be the pair to beat, but anything can happen. Let's play the Head to Head.

OK, here comes your first question. And it concerns...

Ooh. Formula One world champions.

-Ouch.

-Formula One world champions. Richard?

-For this question

we'll show you five pictures of men who have been Formula One world champion. Name the most obscure.

-Very best of luck.

-OK, let's reveal our Formula One champions. Here they are. We have got...

OK, there they are. Our five Formula One world champions. Angellica and Konnie,

you get to go first.

OK, we...

-We know three.

-But everyone will know the three we know.

I kind of feel that I know C, but I can't remember who that is,

-so I guess we'll have to go A. Shall we go A?

-Yeah.

-And you will say...

-Ayrton Senna.

A, Ayrton Senna, say Angellica and Konnie. So, Steve and Sam,

talk us through the board.

Er, B is Jenson Button.

-D is...

-Lewis Hamilton.

-Yeah. E, we have no idea.

-We think we're going to go with C.

-Yes. Someone in the back of my head is saying it's Mika Hakkinen.

So you're going to say C, Mika Hakkinen.

OK, in the order they were given. Angellica and Konnie have said A, Ayrton Senna.

Is that right and how many people said it?

It's right.

Down it goes...!

Look at that - 15!

Wow. Only 15 for Ayrton Senna.

Steve and Sam, you are saying C is Mika Hakkinen.

Let's see if it's right and how many said Mika Hakkinen.

Oh, it's right! It's right. So 15 is the score you have to beat

if you are to win this question. Down it goes... Oh!

Wow.

Mika Hakkinen. Better known, more recognised than Ayrton Senna.

Well done, Angellica and Konnie.

-The streak continues. The winning streak is what I mean!

-We're not taking our clothes off!

After one question, you are up one-nil. Richard?

I'll go on record and say that's quite surprising.

It's not the most immediately recognisable picture of Ayrton Senna.

B everyone knew is Jenson Button.

Well avoided. Would have scored 56.

D is Lewis Hamilton. He would have scored you 68.

And E, the best answer on the board. Well done everyone at home who said Emerson Fittipaldi.

-Three points.

-Thanks, Richard. Here comes your second question. Steve and Sam, you have to win it.

Here it comes. It concerns...

Carry On films. Carry On films, Richard.

We're going to show you five sets of initials. They all follow the words "Carry On..."

-Can you name the films and find the most obscure one, please?

-Very good. Let's reveal

our five Carry On films in initial form. We've got...

HE READS THE LIST

I'll read those all one more time.

So there we are. Five Carry On films. Steve and Sam, you go first.

-Em, yeah...

-Remember, you have to win this point to stay in the game.

-Do you think?

-I don't know.

-Well, yeah, we've worked out four.

And now it's a question of which one.

-I'm going to leave it up to you.

-OK.

Well, let's go with the bottom one,

which is quite...appropriate. Carry On At Your Convenience. And that's the bottom one.

At Your Convenience say Steve and Sam for AYC.

Angellica and Konnie, you can talk us through the board.

Carry On Up The Khyber is the first one.

Is Carry On Matron...M?

Carry On... I don't know about J and B.

Yeah.

-So we'll go Up The Khyber.

-Yeah.

Up The Khyber you are saying for UTK. We'll take them in the order they were given.

Steve and Sam have said AYC, At Your Convenience.

Is that right and how many people said that? At Your Convenience.

It's right.

Down it goes. It's good. Wow, 16. Very good.

It's good. Is it good enough to keep you in the game?

Angellica and Konnie have said UTK, Up The Khyber.

Is that right and how many people knew that? UTK, Up The Khyber.

It's right.

Oh!

Wow. Up The Khyber scored 70 points. Very well done, Steve and Sam.

That's what you had to do. One-all. Richard?

Biggest score on the board. Two answers would have beaten them.

M wouldn't. That's Carry On Matron. That would have scored a hefty 42.

J, set on a ship, is Carry On Jack.

It would have scored you 12 points. And B is Carry On Behind.

That would have scored 6 points. Very well done if you got those.

Thank you very much indeed. Here comes the decider. Whoever wins this, plays for the jackpot.

Very best of luck. Our third question concerns...

The RMS Titanic.

Richard?

For this decider, we'll show you five clues to facts about the Titanic.

-Can you answer the most obscure of these clues?

-Very good, indeed.

Let's reveal our five clues.

HE READS THE LIST

I'll read all of those clues one more time.

So there we are. Five clues to facts about the Titanic.

-Angellica and Konnie, you go first.

-Oh, thanks(!)

-Oh, no. They can go first if they want.

-LAUGHTER

We'll go with the city where she began her maiden voyage and we don't know if we're right.

We think she began her voyage at Liverpool.

-And that's about all we know!

-OK, you say Liverpool.

The port from which she began her maiden voyage.

-Liverpool, say Angellica and Konnie.

-This is hard!

-It's very hard.

-This is Pointless.

-It is!

-When will we need to know this?

Today. And after today, never.

Steve and Sam, they have said Liverpool. You can volunteer another answer for that if you like

-or you can answer any... In fact, fill in all the answers.

-The chance would be a fine thing!

-We thought... You thought you knew the year.

-I don't.

LAUGHTER I was just trying to look cool.

In the first episode of Downton Abbey, they got the news of the Titanic sinking,

but I can't remember the year. We can talk about it.

The only one I think I know is the bottom one.

-It's The Unsinkable Molly Brown, I believe.

-Oh, yes!

-So I think we're going to go for that.

-Oh, no!

-We phoned a friend! We're going to go with The Unsinkable Molly Brown.

The Unsinkable Molly Brown. Let's see. Liverpool say Angellica and Konnie

as the start of the maiden voyage.

Let's see if it's right and how many people said it.

No!

Oh, Southampton.

Oh!

-Oh, no! It's Southampton, isn't it?

-We'll discover in a moment. That is an incorrect answer.

Steve and Sam merely have to be correct. The Unsinkable Molly Brown.

Is that the musical written in 1960 about the Titanic survivor? The Unsinkable Molly Brown.

Yes, it's right. You've done it.

It's a lovely low score! Look at that - eight points!

Brilliant answer, Steve and Sam,

which means after three questions you are through to the final, 2-1.

Well played. It was the best answer on the board. You're right - it was Southampton.

It does have Liverpool written on the back.

-It sank in 1912.

-So that means this year...

-That would score 47.

-..there will be masses of Titanic stuff.

-Yeah, it's the centenary.

The Belfast shipyard that built it was Harland and Wolff. That was 25.

And the first ship to rescue survivors is the Carpathia.

Later sunk during the war by a torpedo. That would have scored you 11 points.

Thank you, Richard. So the losing pair is Angellica and Konnie.

AUDIENCE "Awww"

And you have just done so well. Your Pointless career to date has been absolutely immaculate.

-Thank you.

-Angellica, Konnie, thank you so much. It's been brilliant.

-Excellent contestants.

-Thank you.

-Good luck, guys.

But for Steve and Sam, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Steve and Sam. Like I said from the beginning,

you have made it to the final and fought off all competition and won our coveted Pointless trophy.

-Great.

-Lovely.

-You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot for your nominated charities.

The jackpot stands at £2,500.

I don't know what your tactics were, but you've done it extremely well.

You kept in the middle of the pack. Let the leaders go out in front,

-exhaust themselves, and then steal up on them with that last question.

-We were camouflaged.

-Masterful.

Oh, you two. I knew you'd do it.

The rules are very simple. All you have to do is find a Pointless answer. We haven't had any.

Find one now and you'll take that money away for your charities. Firstly, choose a category.

-There's some beauties up there.

-There are. Any of the first four.

I think it will be between Film Directors and Footballers.

I do... I do like footballers. The subject.

LAUGHTER

I'm not sure how good I am on obscure film directors.

-How good are you?

-Pretty good. It depends what the question is.

-Shall we go Directors?

-OK.

-Let's go.

-We'll go for Film Directors.

Film Directors. OK, let's find out what the question is. We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name...

as many films directed by Robert Altman as they could.

Any film made for general cinema release for which Robert Altman received a directing credit.

No TV films, short films and we won't accept Aria as he only directed one segment.

-So any Robert Altman films, please. Very best of luck, guys.

-OK.

You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers. All you need to win that £2,500

-is for one answer to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Mm-hm.

-60 seconds.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-Well, Short Cuts...

-OK.

The Player, Nashville.

There's one that's a bit of a risk to do with pilots. It might be called Jumpers.

-That's maybe worth a risk. Pret-A-Porter.

-OK.

-Do you know any?

No!

Ha! Do you not?

-I know footballers.

-It's too late for that now.

Pret-A-Porter is about fashion. Nashville is quite famous.

-We should definitely take a risk.

-I think it's called Jumpers. It's pilots who jump out of planes.

-OK.

-And his earlier films, let's think...

-The '70s.

-What have you got so far? Jumpers?

-Pret-A-Porter is good.

-Jumpers.

-One other.

-Nashville, The Player or Short Cuts.

-The Player's quite well known.

-Nashville's well known.

-10 seconds.

-Let's go for Short Cuts, then.

-OK.

-Yeah?

-Yeah. Let me have a brain think.

-I can't think of any more.

-OK.

-That'll do.

OK, very good. That sounded pretty good.

You have three answers. We were looking for Robert Altman films.

-I now need your three answers.

-OK.

We're going to go with Short Cuts.

-Em...

-Jumpers.

-Jumpers.

-Jumpers.

-And Pret-A-Porter.

-Pret-A-Porter.

Which is your best shot?

-The most obscure is Jumpers, if it's correct.

-We'll put it last. Which will we put first?

-I think Short Cuts.

-And Pret-A-Porter in the middle.

OK, let's put them up in that order. We have got - Short Cuts, Pret-A-Porter and Jumpers.

We were looking for Robert Altman films. Short Cuts was your least confident answer,

-least confident shot at a pointless answer.

-Brilliant film.

-Cracking. You only need one pointless answer.

So let's see how many people said Short Cuts.

This is for £2,500.

Well, it's right.

If this takes you all the way down to zero, you immediately win £2,500 for your charities.

Down into the teens...single figures... Down it goes! Oh!

Oh ho ho! Wowee.

One person.

-Who is it? Who knew about...?

-LAUGHTER

-One person said Short Cuts. But you weren't expecting that one to be pointless.

-No.

Only two more chances to win today's jackpot. What are your charities?

-We've both gone for the Teenage Cancer Trust.

-Very good indeed.

Very best of luck. Pret-A-Porter came up midway through your chat.

-Did you remember that quickly?

-I've never seen it, but I remember it was a mock documentary

about the fashion industry.

So I'm pretty sure it's correct. How many people know it, I don't know.

We are looking for Robert Altman films. Pret-A-Porter. This has to be correct and it has to be pointless

for you to win that jackpot of £2,500. Let's see. Pret-A-Porter. How many people said it?

It's right. So Short Cuts took us all the way down to one.

Pret-A-Porter you think is less well-known.

If it takes you down to pointless, you leave with £2,500. Down it goes!

Yes!

Very, very well done.

Really well played.

Very well done. Congratulations. Pret-A-Porter was a pointless answer.

It means you do leave with that jackpot of £2,500 for the Teenage Cancer Trust.

-Wow. Richard?

-Brilliant. Very well played. Richly deserved.

From 1994, set during Paris Fashion Week.

Jumpers would have been an incorrect answer so lucky we got it there.

-Can't quite work out the film. Streamers maybe?

-That's it!

-Wasn't Jumpers a Hull Truck thing?

That was, yeah. But Streamers is when you jump out and your parachute gets all caught up.

-I was thinking of Jumpers. But, hey...

-Who cares?

-It's moot!

And Streamers would have been a pointless answer.

-OK.

-If you care or not. If anyone said it at home, well done. Let's look at the other pointless answers.

3 Women, A Prairie Home Companion, which was his last movie,

Brewster McCloud, California Split, with George Segal and Elliott Gould.

Come Back To The Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean about a reunion of Jimmy Dean fans.

Cookie's Fortune with Glenn Close. Pret-A-Porter, The Gingerbread Man, from a John Grisham manuscript.

And Vincent and Theo about Van Gogh and his brother.

Well done, guys. Terrific performance.

Well, thank you once again to Steve and Sam who go away with today's jackpot of £2,500.

Brilliant.

Very well done indeed.

And a massive thank you to Colin and Justin, Angela and Lionel and Angellica and Konnie.

Join us next time to put more obscure knowledge to the test.

-Meanwhile, goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd