Episode 1 Pointless Celebrities

Thank you very much indeed.

I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and a sporty warm welcome to a special edition of Pointless,

the quiz show where the aim of the game is to score as few points

as you can, coming up with the answers no-one else can think of.

Let's meet today's Pointless Celebrities.

APPLAUSE

Couple number one.

I'm Mark Bright, this is Martin Peters MBE,

and we are representing the world of football.

APPLAUSE

Couple number two.

This is my partner, captain on Question of Sport,

Phil Tufnell, English cricketing great, known as "The Cat".

TV presenter. Where can I go on?

I'm Martin Offiah, former professional rugby player,

former Pointless contestant, did not do too well.

We're here representing comedy.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Couple number three.

I'm Pete Reed, I won gold in the men's four from rowing.

APPLAUSE

My name is Samantha Murray, I won the silver medal

for the women's modern pentathlon.

APPLAUSE

Our fourth and final couple.

Hello! I'm Hazel Irvine, and this is John Parrott, also MBE.

We are here hoping to uphold the honour of the world of snooker.

He likes to play and was apparently quite good, I like to talk about it.

APPLAUSE

And these are our Pointless celebrities.

We'll be finding out more about all of you throughout the show.

There is only one person left for me to introduce.

He has brought to obscurity what Heston Blumenthal has brought

to cookery, charm, wit, and a penchant for unexpected ingredients.

It's my pointless friend, Richard.

Hello.

-I'm very excited about this. Are you?

-Yes, I really am.

We have two Olympic medallists, a scorer in a World Cup final,

a world champion, and we've got Phil Tufnell.

-Not bad going, is it?

-Yes. 35th in England wicket-takers.

-Is that right? World wicket-takers.

-Yes, I think it is.

World wicket-takers.

Also, Martin is an MBE as well, we forgot to put that in.

And I've got a Gladiators runner-up.

LAUGHTER

From 1994. It's not an Olympic gold medal.

If anybody here is not an MBE, raise your hands. We'll get it out the way.

Hazel and John really have to uphold the honour of snooker, because

the last snooker commentators we had on was John Virgo and Dennis Taylor.

They did not stay long, if I'm honest.

We asked John Virgo to name any Mr Man or Little Miss character,

and he said Mr Potato Head. That's what he said.

Should be an absolute cracker, hopefully you will stay longer.

Somebody has to go, but who is it going to be?

Good point. Who?

Phil and Martin.

You see, Martin has been on before, he came on with Chris Kamara.

-Upgrade.

-Is Tuffers better than Chris Kamara?

That's the big question we're about to find out the answer to.

Very good, we'll do that soon.

All questions have been put to 100 people before the show.

The contestants need to find the obscure answers the 100 people

did not get, what everyone is trying to do is find a pointless answer

that none of our 100 people knew,

Each time that happens we will add £250 to the jackpot.

As today's show is a celebrity special,

each celebrity is playing for a nominated charity.

We start off with a jackpot of £2500.

There we are.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone is ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

In this round, I will take an answer from each of you,

but there is no conferring.

Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of each round

will be eliminated, so try hard to make sure that is not you.

Our first category today is...

the UK.

The UK. Can you decide in your pairs who will go first?

Whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many UK cities

that begin with C, I, T, E or S.

We're looking for the name of any officially designated city

beginning with one of those five letters, please, as of October 2012.

There are 24 cities in the UK beginning with one of those letters.

Can you give us the most obscure of those?

See how many of those 24 you can get at home as well.

We won't be accepting anything that starts City Of,

so City Of London, that sort of thing.

We will not count that as C.

OK. Welcome, Mark. Great to have you on Pointless Celebrities.

Obviously a football pundit, these days.

But a player of some repute in your time.

Obviously through football, you know a few cities, of course.

Other than football, what are your favourite sports?

I like any sport, obviously, I love the Olympics, I was working

on the Olympics, doing the football, I got to see some of the events.

Cycling, the velodrome was fantastic, anything on the TV, I will watch.

OK, cities of the UK.

-I'm a Potters boy, so I'm going to say Stoke-on-Trent.

-Stoke-on-Trent.

Stoke-on-Trent.

Let's see if that is right and how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

14, Mark.

APPLAUSE

14. Hard to say if that's a good score at this point,

but we'll discover soon enough.

14 for Stoke-on-Trent.

-Good start, nice to get it out the way.

-Thank you.

Football helps, Stoke City. The clue is right there.

Phil, as Martin said before, you are Question Of Sport team-mates.

-Representing comedy.

-So Martin says.

They were representing football,

we didn't know what we were representing so we went with comedy.

You have many strings to your bow.

You're an author, a serious pundit on TMS,

you still play a little bit of cricket, don't you?

-Yes, for charity. Twenty20, it's my kind of game.

-Yes, very good.

How is your UK geography?

It's not great, but I've got one I'm going to go with.

-Stay in the game. I'm going to go with Coventry.

-Coventry says Phil.

Coventry.

Let's see if it's right and how many of our 100 said Coventry.

Absolutely right.

14 is the low score.

53!

APPLAUSE

Clearly, Stoke was a very good score, great answer.

-Looking that way.

-Coventry, 53?!

-Richard.

-It's not my fault!

I'm just saying.

-It's a big score.

-It's a lot, but Martin does not look happy with this.

He's thinking, "Chris Kamara got me knocked out in round one,

"now Tuffers is going to do it."

If you come back a third time, bring one of the Chuckle Brothers.

-They did very well.

-They did do very well. We've had them all on here.

Now then, Pete.

Pete, a gold medallist, London 2012, and Beijing as well.

Yes, that's true, but it's not going to help me today, I don't think.

-Really?

-I'm a good rower, not so good at quizzes.

You were in the Navy for 13 years.

Yes, an officer in the Navy for a long time.

-Let's hope that comes up later.

-If knots came up, say?

-Knots.

-Aww.

-I could tie you a good clove hitch or something like that.

-That is round two. Who can tie the best clove hitch?

-Very good.

I hear you've already started training for Rio.

It is years away, and at the moment I'm just staring at this big

black wall and I don't know where to go, but training will get me there.

Training involves what? How many times a week?

Three sessions per day,

we get one Sunday off every fourth or fifth Sunday.

If Christmas does not fall on one of those Sundays,

-then that is not off either.

-Christmas Day?

Is it like the world of a professional cricketer, Tuffers?

That training regime.

LAUGHTER

OK, UK geography.

More specifically, cities beginning with C, I, T, E or S.

I've got one, I know it's a city, it's a bit of a risk.

It could go top or bottom of the board.

-Let's go with St Davids, the smallest city in the UK.

-St Davids.

Hazel loves that. I think you just nicked her answer.

OK, Pete is saying St Davids.

Let's see how many of our 100 said it.

It's good.

14 is our lowest score, you've gone through that.

APPLAUSE

Fantastic answer, Pete. 1 for St Davids. Brilliant.

Great answer. He's a gold medallist and he's really clever as well.

Blimey. You're quite right, smallest city in Britain in terms of size

and population.

Thanks very much. Hazel, St Davids, gone.

-Voice of snooker but also voice of golf.

-Yes.

-Voice of lots of things.

Two sports which are quite similar in many respects, because they're

all played by people for whom it is very much a mind game.

That is what I love about it, trying to get into the heads of these guys.

-You need to unravel their game plan.

-Yes.

It's a real treat to work on both of them, I must say.

Remember, we are looking for UK cities beginning with

C, I, T, E, or S.

St Davids, you clearly had that. I could see from your face.

What are you going to go for?

On that idea of St Davids being a cathedral city,

I'm probably going to go down the same route.

My answer is my old stomping ground of St Andrews.

St Andrews, says Hazel.

Is it right? Surely. Let's see how many people said St Andrews.

Oh, no!

-Sorry, Johnny.

-Oh, Hazel!

-Oh, dear. Sorry.

-Phil is now not such a bad choice of contestant.

-Come on, Coventry!

St Andrews, bad luck.

An incorrect answer, I'm afraid,

which scores you the maximum of 100 points.

No pressure!

-Oh, dear. I'm sorry about that.

-Sorry, not a city.

The good news is it's a better answer than Mr Potato Head.

I'm glad to hear that.

-Oh, dear. Not a city.

-What do you reckon?

I know, but I thought you might...

-maybe you might have a fact about it.

-I'm so sorry.

St Andrews is not a city.

Fair enough. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

We are halfway through. Let's look at the scores as they stand.

1 is very much the best score.

Pete, very well done.

You are looking pretty strong for the next round.

Up to 14, Mark and Martin also looking pretty good.

-53, Phil and Martin, great answer, Coventry.

-Stay in the game.

Stay in the game.

Then up to 100, Hazel, I'm really sorry.

Great reckoning, great reasoning, sadly, an incorrect answer,

but, John, the round is not over, if you can find a really good,

low score, it might be enough to keep you in the game.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please take their places on the podium?

OK, we are looking for UK cities beginning with C, I, T, E or S.

Welcome to the show, John. It's lovely to have you here.

You've been at the top of snooker for a very long time.

What are your other sporting interests?

Everton Football Club, home and away,

when I can, with my son, who absolutely loves it.

I've been going since I was six.

National Hunt racing, in particular,

I have six or seven courses in Britain left to do.

Obviously, golf, I play at Formby, which is absolutely lovely.

-And a privilege to be a member there.

-Very good indeed.

-How about your UK city knowledge, John?

-Hope it's good.

I think there are a few certainties in there but obviously having

had the first round we have gone for, we need to take a chance.

-I will go with Exeter.

-Exeter says John.

There is no red line for you, because you are the high scorers.

We just have to hope this goes down as far as it possibly can.

Let's see if it's right and how many people said it.

It's right.

Down it goes to 26. 126 is your total.

Well done, John, not a bad answer.

You might have kept yourself in the game, you've given yourself a chance.

-126 is a pretty good break.

-The best I've had for ages.

I was quite happy with the 100 she got,

haven't had one of them for years.

So then, Sam, are you training for Rio yet?

I've actually had a really long break,

and I definitely want to go,

but I'll just take it a month at a time, a week at a time,

a day at a time, but I'd love to be there, I'd love to win a gold medal.

Very good indeed. Best of luck with that,

and with coming up with the city beginning with C, I, T, E or S.

Geography is my worst subject ever.

I don't know if it's a town or city but I'm going to go for it.

I'm going to go for Staines.

Staines. Go for Staines.

SHE LAUGHS

-It doesn't matter.

-Should I run now?

No, no, this is great news for Hazel.

Oh, no!

-Is it too late to change?

-Yes.

You're going for Staines, let's see if that's right

and if it is, how many of our 100 people said it.

-Bad luck.

-I'm so sorry.

That scores 100 points because it is incorrect

but you are still through to the next round

-because your total is 101, so it is fine.

-Is it not a city?

-Richard.

I had to go through this with Alexander just now.

No, Staines is a town, I'm afraid.

It is also called Staines-upon-Thames now.

Pete, you must have come across a few stains upon Thames

-in your rowing career.

-Far too many, oh, my goodness.

Martin, you've been thrown a massive lifeline.

The high scorer is John and Hazel, 126, you're on 53.

I'm still feeling a bit nervous, not sure if anyone has been booed off in

-the first round twice in this show.

-It's not going to happen.

-Let's hope not.

-It's not going to happen.

What are you up to at the moment?

I'm about to fly out to Dubai to play rugby again for the first time

-in 12 years.

-Nervous?

Yes, I'm feeling quite nervous, see if I've still got it,

can the body, you know?

Still dodge and run.

I have more pressing things on my mind at the moment.

Cities in the UK beginning with C, I, T, E or S.

I'm going to go with Swansea.

Swansea.

Very good. Here is your red line.

Below that red line with Swansea, you are through to the next round.

Let's see if Swansea is right and how many people said it.

It's right, and you are through. Very well done, Martin.

Down it goes, look at that. Brilliant answer, 16.

-That takes your total up to 69.

-We made it! We're still here!

Well done, Martin, round two, can you believe it?

Get Chris Kamara on the phone right now. Tell him what you've just done.

I will be tweeting him afterwards.

Now then, Martin, thank you so much for coming on the show,

a real treat for us to have you here. A real sporting superstar.

-Absolutely.

-A goal-scorer in 1966, fantastic.

-Thank you very much.

APPLAUSE

Martin, what are you up to these days?

I'm working in two football clubs, on match days, West Ham United...

AUDIENCE MURMURS

There we are. Bit of a murmur.

-I was there last night, and Tottenham Hotspur.

-There we are.

MUTED CHEERING

Very good. So, a UK city beginning with any of these letters.

-Shrewsbury.

-OK.

Let's see if Shrewsbury is right,

and if it is, how many of our 100 people said it.

Bad luck, Martin, I'm afraid that was incorrect which means you

score the maximum of 100 points,

but you are through to the next round so it could not matter less.

The county town of Shropshire, but if you think in football terms,

it is Shrewsbury Town.

So it's not a city, Shrewsbury. There is two pointless answers here.

They are both cities that got elevated to that status in 2012.

Let's look at them both.

St Asaph and Chelmsford. Yes, new city, Chelmsford, from 2012.

Very well done if you said either of those.

There are 24, I'm sure people have been trying to get

all of them. I will go through some of the lowest.

St Albans would have scored 2,

Stirling would have scored you 4, if you wanted to go

for a Scottish one, Salford, five, Chichester, 7, Sunderland, 12,

Carlisle would have scored 15, Ely would have scored 15 as well.

Ely up in Cambridgeshire.

Southampton, 27, and let's take a look at the biggest three answers.

One of these will be familiar to Tuffers.

Cardiff with 37, Edinburgh, 44,

and Coventry was the biggest scorer of all with 53.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much indeed, Richard, so at the end of the first round

the losing pair with their high score of 126 is John and Hazel!

-Bye.

-See you.

I've always wanted a century, I've just done it in the wrong game!

There we are, sadly, we need to say goodbye to you,

but thank you so much for coming on, it has been lovely.

-Thanks for having us.

-John and Hazel.

APPLAUSE

For the remaining three pairs, it is time for round two.

Obviously there is only going to be room for two celebrity pairs

in our head-to-head, so one of the teams in front of me

will be leaving us at the end of this round.

We would not want to call it.

Martin, we are on virgin territory here. This is fantastic, round two.

This is the last round where you're on your own, after this,

you can put your heads together, so best of luck to all three pairs.

The category for round two is...

fictional characters.

Fictional characters,

can you all decide in your pairs who is going to go first and second?

Whoever is going first, step up to the podium.

The question concerns...

on-screen vampires.

On-screen vampires. Richard.

Yeah, on each pass, we're going to show you the names of six actors

who appeared as a vampire or half-vampire,

whatever that might be, on a TV series or a film.

You just have to tell us in which film or TV series

they first appeared as a vampire, please.

In which TV series or film did these actors first appear as a vampire?

We'll give you the year they first appeared next to their names.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, we are looking for the names of the films or TV shows

in which these actors first played a vampire.

Here's our first board. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

How are you on vampires, Martin?

I've never known any.

Oh, you say that now!

Were you any good with crosses, Martin?

-Crosses?

-Ah, good.

A vampire-football crossover joke. Jeez! How many have you got?

LAUGHTER

Right, Martin.

What does that board look like to you?

I'm afraid you've got me, because I don't know.

I'm going to encourage you to make one up.

Christopher Lee.

Father Christmas.

LAUGHTER

There we are. Yup. One of the more famous vampires.

Christopher Lee, Father Christmas, says Martin.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

Ooh!

-It MUST be a film.

-Bad luck, Martin.

-An incorrect answer scores you the maximum of 100 points.

-I'm sorry.

-No, I'm sorry. That's a tough question.

-All right!

FANGS for nothing!

Ha-ha-ha!

Yeah, sorry, Martin.

Christopher Lee played a flesh-eating zombie

in Father Christmas, not a vampire.

-Now, then, Phil.

-Can I choose Christopher Lee again?

-Yeah.

OK. Well, I'm going to go Christopher Lee and Count Dracula.

-Christopher Lee...

-In Count Dracula.

-Count Dracula.

Let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

Oh, no.

Bad luck. I'm afraid an incorrect answer.

He's leading us a merry dance here.

Isn't he just? Yes, sorry, Tuffers.

The name of the film he was in wasn't Count Dracula.

-Closer to that than Father Christmas, but it wasn't Count Dracula.

-Yeah.

That scores you 100 points, Phil, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's close.

-It is close.

-Now, then, Sam.

Oh, Sam, you're not looking happy.

Well, for my generation, when you say vampires,

I think The Vampire Diaries, Twilight,

and I thought I'd get this,

but all these names are really confusing me.

But I'm going to give it a go anyway. Wesley Snipes, Blade.

Wesley Snipes, Blade, says Sam. Let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many people knew that answer. Blade.

It's right. Very well done, Sam.

It's a low score as well.

25. Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE

Excellent work.

-Great answer, Sam. They're not Olympic medallists for nothing.

-No.

Yeah, terrific answer. He plays a half-human, half-vampire.

His mother was bitten when she was pregnant.

-Oh, it's on his mother's side that he's a vampire?

-Yes.

-Oh, I see.

-His father's side is human.

-I see.

-So, the wedding was very awkward.

Yeah, I should think so.

Let's go through the rest of this board, shall we?

Let's clear up Christopher Lee first ball.

It's simply Dracula.

Couldn't give you Count Dracula,

just in case Sam wanted to have a go at the same one.

Couldn't give it to you.

David Boreanaz is from Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

Would have scored you 7. Al Lewis was from The Munsters.

Would have scored you nothing at all.

It was a pointless answer, so was done.

Kiefer Sutherland was The Lost Boys.

15 points.

And Max Schreck was Nosferatu, which would have scored you 4 points.

If anyone got all of those, very, very impressive. Or scary.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

Very much the best score of that pass, 25, Sam. Very well done.

Sam and Pete looking very strong at this stage.

Phil and Martin and Martin and Mark, I'm afraid you're tied on 100

as our high scorers.

it's going to be between Martin O and Mark to decide

who leaves us at the end of this round

and who stays for the head-to-head.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we're going to put six more vampire actors on the board,

and here they are...

I'll read those all very quickly again.

Ethan Hawke, 2009. David Bowie, 1983. Robert Pattinson, 2008.

Stephen Moyer, 2008. Kate Beckinsale, 2003. Tom Cruise, 1994.

There we are. Six actors for you in vampire roles.

You have to name the film or TV show in which

they first appeared as vampires in the years shown in brackets.

Pete,

how many on the board do think you know?

Er... I think...

-I know three.

-This is good.

-I know I know one.

Lend us one.

Let's go for, and this is very much my sort of age demographic,

1994, Tom Cruise was in An Interview With A Vampire.

OK, there is your red line, Pete.

If you get below that red line, you are through to the head-to-head.

You are saying Tom Cruise in An Interview With A Vampire.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

And you are in the head-to-head.

Very well done. 26.

APPLAUSE

-51 your total. Very well done.

-Well played, Pete.

Though Sam did get 1 point better than you.

Plays Lestat in the 1994 film, directed by Neil Jordan.

Now, then. Martin, we have a game on our hands here.

You are tied with Mark and Martin P.

How many of these ring a bell?

Just one!

-Robert Pattinson. Twilight?

-OK. That's your answer.

There's no red line for you, as you are joint high scores.

Robert Pattinson, Twilight, says Martin.

Let's see if it's right, and if it is,

let's see if it scores any less than 100. Twilight.

It's right.

Wow.

Wow, 33.

Jesus.

APPLAUSE

33 for Twilight. I thought that was going to stop on 97.

No, it's one of those things that everyone

who's a fan of Twilight knows, but everybody else doesn't know.

It's one of those things that's on the news all the time,

but most people are not paying any attention at any time.

There's been five films in that series. That was the first, Twilight.

Very good.

We're looking for the films or TV shows

in which these actors first played vampires.

Now, then, Mark.

-Now, then, Mark.

-Get the taxi ready.

-You get the last...

-I know.

You get the slim pickings that are left there.

-Do you know any of those?

-No.

Um...

I'm going to have to wing it and go David Bowie, Vampires.

David Bowie, Vampires. You're not tempted by Father Christmas?

OK.

Vampires, David Bowie. There's your red line.

If it's right and you go below that red line,

you are in the head-to-head.

Let's see if it is. How many people said David Bowie was in Vampires?

Bad luck, Mark.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 200.

-I'm really sorry, Mark. Tough.

-Sorry, Brighty.

You made Tuffers very, very happy, if it's any consolation.

-That is tough, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

They say sometimes that we dumb this down for celebrities.

And, you know, usually we do. No, we don't. We absolutely don't.

And this is proof of it. It's a very tough board.

So, to get 51 is terrific work. Let's go through the rest of these.

David Bowie played a vampire in The Hunger. Would have scored 2 points.

Kate Beckinsale was a vampire in Underworld. Would have scored 13.

Stephen Moyer is from True Blood. Would have scored you 7.

And Ethan Hawke, that's a pointless answer, despite the fact that

it was from 2009, so it was obviously something of a hit.

He was a vampire in Daybreakers. Daybreakers.

-Well done if you said that.

-There we are. Thanks, Richard.

At the end of round two, the losing pair, with their high score of 200,

our newest members of the 200 club, Mark and Martin.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We should have...

Couldn't we have dug out a football question for them?

-Yeah.

-I mean, would it have killed us?

-Should have done, shouldn't we?

-Yeah.

Mark and Martin, thank you so much for playing.

It's been wonderful having you on the show. Brilliant contestants.

APPLAUSE

But the two remaining pairs, they're getting one step closer to the final

and the chance of taking home the jackpot for their charities as we enter the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Sam and Pete, Phil and Martin.

You're now only one round away from the final

and a chance to play for that jackpot,

which currently stands at £2,500.

Now, clearly only one pair can play for that money.

To decide which pair it'll be, you're now going to go head-to-head.

The difference is, you're now allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for the jackpot.

So then, how are you feeling?

Good. I've only just said "Coventry" and I'm in the head-to-head,

which is fantastic. It's going well at the moment.

Remember, you can put your heads together at this point...

-We're relaxing into it.

-We're batting above our average at the moment.

You reckon? We'll see.

Sam and Pete, some exemplary low scoring so far.

Feeling confident?

To be honest, I'm pleased I didn't go home in the first round.

I'm pleased we didn't go home in the first round.

It's nice to be here, we can be calm and a bit more relaxed now

and we've been pretty lucky - good low scores.

Besides Staines, I feel pretty confident, like.

-Listen, you made up for that with Blade.

-Yeah.

Fantastic, great upset. Anyway, let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question. And it concerns...

LAUGHTER

Olympic torchbearers, Richard.

We're going to show you five pictures now of people

carrying the Olympic torch in the London 2012 torch relay.

Can you name the most obscure of these five? Very best of luck.

OK. Thank you. Let's reveal our five torchbearers. Here they are.

We have got...

There we are. Five Olympic torchbearers.

Sam and Pete, you've played best in the show. You get to go first.

-PHIL:

-Aw!

Well done.

-Do you want a moment to confer?

-We know all of them.

We're just trying to pick the best one to really win the competition.

I think...

She's got all... Oh, did you see that look she gave me?

She's come a long way from Staines, I'll tell you.

OK.

Let's go...

Shall I say it? B. Roger Bannister.

-I think he's Sir Roger Bannister.

-B, Sir Roger Bannister.

B, Sir Roger Bannister. Now then, Phil and Martin.

Talk us through the board.

We knew that. We knew Sir Rog.

Zara Phillips.

Zara Phillips or Ben Ainslie,

-everyone will know Kelly.

-Yeah.

Which do you reckon is the lowest?

Royalty or a bloke who goes sailing?

I'd say the sailing geezer.

Ben Ainslie, yes, would probably not know, yeah. Lowest one?

-Yeah.

-OK.

-D.

-D, Ben Ainslie.

-Yeah.

OK, so we have Roger Bannister, we have Ben Ainslie.

Sam and Pete went Roger Bannister, let's see if that's right,

let's how many of our 100 people said Roger Bannister.

It's right.

22.

22 for Roger Bannister.

Phil and Martin have said Ben Ainslie for D.

Let's see if that's right

and let's see how many of our 100 people said Ben Ainslie.

Not a lot of people know sailing.

It's right.

Is it going to beat 22? Ooh, it's close.

Yeah, you've done it! Very well done, 12.

12 people said Ben Ainslie, which means, after one question,

Tuffers and Martin, you are up one-nil. Richard?

Pete and Sam, you knew that one as well, did you?

Went for the wrong one.

Ben Ainslie at Land's End, and Sir Roger Bannister

at Iffley Road Track, where he broke his four-minute mile.

There's an even better answer up there,

which is A, Rupert Grint is his name.

It would have scored two points.

Would have been a great answer. C is Kelly Holmes, Dame Kelly Holmes.

She would have scored you 49.

And E, Zara Phillips, she would have scored you 34.

Here comes your second question.

Sam and Pete, you have to win this question to stay in the game.

Now, here comes that second question, the one you have to win.

It concerns...

Yeah, this question's got Tuffers and Martin written all over it,

we're going to give you five clues now to facts about the solar system,

can you give us the most obscure answer to one of these, please?

Thanks, Richard.

Let's reveal our five clues to facts about the solar system.

We have got:

I'll read those all one last time...

There we are. Five clues to facts about the solar system.

Phil and Martin, you go first. What's it going to be?

Um...

I don't know.

We're going to go for the comet named after an English astronomer.

What's his name?

I think it's Halley's.

Halley's comet, you're going to say. OK.

Sam and Pete, you can talk us through the rest of the board

-if you like.

-Saturn's largest moon, I think, is Titan.

I'm certain that the solar system

is situated in the Milky Way.

The Milky Way is too easy, everyone will know that.

OK, we're going to take a risk.

The sun consists mainly of this element - hydrogen.

Hydrogen, say Sam and Pete.

The sun consists mainly of hydrogen.

So, Phil and Martin have said Halley's comet. Let's see

if that's right and if it is, how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

47.

47.

Now then, Pete and Sam said that the sun consists

mainly of hydrogen. Let's see if it's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It is right. 47 is what you have to beat.

And you beat it. You're back in the game.

Brilliant. 19.

You did exactly what you had to do there, Pete and Sam.

-And after two questions, it is one-all. Well done.

-Well played.

They're a formidable team, aren't they?

Sam, you were right to exercise caution.

If you had said Milky Way, you would still have won the point

but only just. 45 points, that was.

So those two were absolutely on a knife edge.

Pete, you're right about Saturn's largest moon, that was Titan.

Would have been a terrific answer. Nine points.

And the name shared by two probes launched by NASA in 1977

was Voyager. Voyager would have scored you 11 points.

The best answer on the board is Titan, Pete, so well done.

And talking of titans, this one's a tight 'un.

Ah, do you know what?

We've got a gold and silver medallist here from the Olympics

and you're making jokes like that. You have got no respect.

None. No, I've got massive respect!

I haven't got any better material, that's all. I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry. Anyway, it's one-all.

Whoever wins the decider goes to the final and

plays for money for their charity.

Let's see what the third question is. Here it comes.

-Ooh!

-Richard.

We are now going to show you five anagrams of different styles

of dance, can you unscramble these and pick the most obscure?

Whoever does is going through to play for the jackpot.

-Very best of luck, both teams.

-Thanks very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five anagrams of dance styles. Here they come.

Sam and Pete to get to go first.

You can have a couple of moments to consider.

You do the talking on this one.

-We know two, don't we?

-Yeah.

So which of the two do you think is the best choice?

-The one that's higher up on the board.

-Seriously? OK.

What do you think?

Yeah, I would agree.

If I had half an hour, I'd definitely get more but I don't.

-If I had half an hour on Google...

-We need a piece of paper and a pen.

We're going to go for the second one down, WINGS, and go for swing.

Swing. OK, Pete and Sam are going to say swing.

Phil and Martin, the board is yours. Talk us through the board.

Dance styles, there's rumba.

Samba. Tango.

I'm just thinking back to Strictly.

Not rumba...

Oh! Got one.

-Let's have an answer?

-Disco.

Very good indeed.

IS COD - disco.

So, we have swing and we have disco.

Pete and Sam went with swing. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said swing.

It's right.

Oh, dear.

76.

Now then, Phil and Martin have gone for disco. IS COD - disco.

Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many people said it.

You've done it.

Wow, 56.

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

Oh, very, very well done, very exciting indeed.

Very well done. After three questions, Phil and Martin,

-you are through to the final, 2-1. Brilliant.

-Well played, gents.

Were those are the two you knew, Sam and Pete?

-Yeah.

-Choosing between the two of them. That's tough.

I'll tell you the rest. When I tell you a couple, you'll see them.

Just look at the one at the bottom there. OR RIMS.

Morris dancing.

Would have scored you 17 points.

BAA REDNECK is break dance.

That would have scored 12. Now, CIAO PEAR is a pointless answer.

It's a Brazilian martial art mixed with dance. Capoeira. Yeah, capoeira.

It's pointless. Well done if you said that at home.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, our losing pair at the end of the head-to-head.

Oh, that was hard-fought. Very, very exciting head-to-head.

Brilliant contest. And you've been our star pair the whole way through.

Fantastic play. I'm really sorry we have to say goodbye to you now,

when you're so close to the final. Come back.

-We'd love to come back.

-Brilliant. Please do.

-Thank you.

-Sam and Pete, great contestants.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

But for Phil and Martin, it's now time for our pointless final.

Well, congratulations, Phil and Martin.

You fought off of the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

Yes!

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot for your charities,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £2,500.

CHEERING

Oh, from the heady heights of the final,

Coventry seems a long way away, doesn't it?

Simple rules. To win the money for your charities,

you have to find a pointless answer.

Do that and you'll go home with £2,500.

Firstly, you must choose a category, here are your five options.

They are...

-Composers, are you any good on them?

-No.

-Chemistry? No?

-No.

-UK politics? No?

-Australian actresses...

What?

My friend's sister's an actress.

LAUGHTER

-I reckon International Pop, me.

-OK, let's do that.

-We've got half a chance.

-OK, International Pop it is.

Here it comes.

Let's find out the question.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name:

Richard?

We're looking for the name of any group or solo artist to win

any Brit Award that has the word "international" in the title

between 1977 and 2012, please.

Any group or artist to win any of the international Brit Awards

-between 1977 and 2012. Very, very best of luck.

-OK.

You have up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that £2,500 for your charities

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Let's put 60 seconds on the clock. Your time starts now.

-Eminem.

-Eminem. Jay-Z.

-Yeah.

-Will.i.am.

-Yeah.

-Er, Pussycat Dolls.

-Pussycat Dolls.

-Oh, international...

-Rihanna.

-Brit Awards.

-Beyonce, she would have won. But '77...

-'77, who was back in the day?

-I don't know.

-ZZ Top?

-ZZ Top?!

-ZZ Top might be a good shout. Oh, Deep Purple.

-Deep Purple.

In the '80s, who was in the '80s?

-'80s...

-Just like, Bon Jon Bovi.

Jon Bon Jovi!

LAUGHTER

-Jon Bon Jovi, all them long-haired rockers.

-Yeah. Europe.

Europe was a long-haired rocker band.

-'80s.

-'90s as well. Um...

-Oh, terrible. What category is that? Keep thinking.

-10 seconds left.

International...

-Backstreet Boys.

-Backstreet Boys.

-'N Sync!

-OK, your time is up.

-Oh!

-Oh!

-Your time is up.

We were looking for international Brit Award winners.

I now need three answers.

-INXS.

-INXS.

-Jon Bon Jovi.

-Yeah.

-Jon Bon Jovi.

-And one that you wouldn't know - women artists.

-Madonna.

-Madonna.

-Everyone will know that!

LAUGHTER

-Everyone will know Madonna.

-OK, there are your three answers.

INXS, Jon Bon Jovi and Madonna.

Of those three, which is your most likely to be pointless?

-I think INXS.

-INXS.

-I reckon Madonna is at the top.

Shall we put Madonna at the top, your least likely?

That was just a thought. That was just a thought.

-It wasn't an actual answer, but we took it.

-Oh, well.

We'll put Madonna first. Madonna, Jon Bon Jovi, INXS. Fabulous.

We'll put them up on the board in that order. And here they are.

Madonna, Jon Bon Jovi, INXS.

We were looking for international Brit Award winners.

Madonna was your least confident shot at a pointless answer.

You only have to find one pointless answer to win that jackpot

of £2,500 for your charities.

So, let's see. Madonna, is it right? How many people said it?

It's right.

OK, if by some miracle this goes all the way down to zero,

you are leaving with £2,500.

It's still going down. Into single figures. Look at that.

Seven!

-Seven!

-Seven!

Two more chances to win today's jackpot.

Obviously today's show is a charity show

and you've each nominated a charity. Phil, what's your charity?

Mesothelioma UK, which is an asbestos cancer.

Very good indeed.

Martin, how about you?

Mine is Joining Jack, which is a rugby-based charity.

An ex-colleague of mine, Andrew Johnson's young son is suffering

from a rare condition called Duchenne muscular dystrophy

and so we're trying to raise money to find a cure for it.

OK. Well, very, very good. Two excellent charities there.

Let's hope one of your two remaining answers at least will win

that money for your charities. International Brit Award winners,

let's hope nobody has said your next answer, Jon Bon Jovi.

It had to be pointless for you to win that jackpot,

so let's see. For £2,500, how many people said Jon Bon Jovi?

Is it right?

It's absolutely right.

Now then, Madonna took us all the way down to seven.

-Jon Bon Jovi, where is he going to take us?

-Go on.

He's taking us down through the teens into single figures.

Down he goes. Still going down!

Yes! You've done it!

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

That is fantastic. Very, very well done indeed. Fantastic.

Oh, mate!

Congratulations.

Jon Bon Jovi was a pointless answer, which means you're going away

with that jackpot of £2,500 for your charities.

Absolutely brilliant.

CHEERING

-Wow. Richard.

-Well done, gents. Brilliant news. Jon Bon Jovi won

Best International Male, and Best International group in 1991

were INXS, and that was a pointless answer as well.

Let's take a look at some more of the pointless answers,

see how you did at home.

Bruce Springsteen, INXS, Justin Timberlake,

you were thinking of him, the guy from 'N Sync.

He was a pointless answer as well.

Kanye West, Lana Del Rey, more recent winners,

REM won Best International Group. There's lots of pointless answers.

Red Hot Chilli Peppers, The Killers, The White Stripes.

Alanis Morissette, Arcade Fire, Cee Lo Green, Tracey Chapman,

PM Dawn, Simon & Garfunkel, The Bangles, The Corrs, The Strokes, TLC.

Lots of pointless answers, but you found one - you found two -

-and congratulations, guys, very well played.

-Wow!

Amazing.

On the money twice. Fantastic.

Thanks once again to our winning players, Phil and Martin,

who go away with today's jackpot of £2,500 for their charities.

CHEERING

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge

to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd