West End Pointless Celebrities

APPLAUSE

Thank you. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and a very warm welcome to this celebrity edition of Pointless,

the show where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners. Let's meet our Pointless celebrities.

APPLAUSE

-Couple number one.

-Hi, I'm Jodie Prenger and I've shown the nation my Nancy.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

And I'm Gary Wilmot and I saw her Nancy and it was spectacular.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

-Couple number two.

-Hi, I'm Richard Blackwood, I play Donkey in Shrek

and I'm now in Still Waters, a movie that's coming out,

and this is Danielle Hope and she is in Les Mis.

APPLAUSE

-Couple number three.

-Hi, I'm Ben Foster,

currently playing Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar international arena tour and...

I am Paul Nicholas and I played Jesus

in the original production of Jesus Christ Superstar in 1972.

APPLAUSE

And couple number four.

Hi, I'm Kerry Ellis and I'm currently working on my own one-woman show.

APPLAUSE

And I'm Tim Rice and I'm afraid I wrote the words for Jesus Christ Superstar,

and you two guys, both brilliant. Thank you very much.

APPLAUSE

-And these are today's contestants.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

We'll find out more about you throughout the show.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

-He's large and he's in charge, it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hi, everyone. Hiya.

-This is going to be fun, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

We've often done these celebrity shows and actually having stars of musical theatre,

genuinely it's one of those occasions where you're slightly in awe of the talent in the room.

Musical theatre is one of those things where there is no hiding place.

If you get to the top in that business, you are properly good.

Won't help you today, but... LAUGHTER

..it is genuinely the case. Genuinely lovely to have you all here.

And great that we've got Ben, who plays Jesus, and then Paul says, "I was the original Jesus."

-I had no idea!

-Then Tim who says, "I wrote Jesus!"

-Yeah.

-Two for the price of one.

-That's amazing.

Just to warn you, Tim, I think you might be our first... Is Tim our first Sir ever on the show?

-I think he might be.

-That's quite impressive, isn't it?

-Yeah.

Anyway, we're going to be pitching at you later.

-We've got a little idea for a musical.

-Oh, yeah.

-LAUGHTER

-Terrific.

No pressure, but you are our guest, so...

If you want to put a show on, I hope I won't be out in the first round.

-LAUGHTER

-Yay!

Round one is the lyrics of Sir Tim Rice.

-LAUGHTER

-Yes!

Thanks, Richard. All our questions have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants need to find the obscure answers those 100 people didn't get.

Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

As today's show is a celebrity special, each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity,

so we start off with a jackpot of £2,500.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

So in this first round, I want an answer from each of you, but there is to be no conferring.

At the end of the round, whichever pair has the highest score will be heading home.

OK, our first category today is...

Words. Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many words ending in "are" as they could. A-R-E. Richard.

We're looking for any word that has its own entry in the Oxford English Dictionary that ends in "are".

As always, no hyphenated words, no proper nouns, no trademarks.

So any word ending "are". Very best of luck to everyone.

Thanks. Now then, Jodie and Gary, you all drew lots before the show.

-You are going first today.

-Yes.

This is always tough. The first person to kick off a words round. You have the least time to think.

-Now then, Jodie, you have been Nancy.

-I have, yes.

And you won it in front of the nation on I'd Do Anything.

-That was such a dodgy name for a show.

-Oliver?

-Not Oliver, I'd Do Anything.

-Oh!

-Now, what are you thinking of?

-Oh, do you know, it's kind of...

I think probably people would go with the obvious and I'd say the unobvious may be care.

Care, says Jodie. Care.

Is it right? How many people... I think we know it's right.

How many people said care?

Is it right.

-67, Jodie.

-APPLAUSE

That's a high score. But a nice word.

Yeah, very tough on that first podium. Good to get a correct answer.

-Mm.

-This is the point where I have to define what care means.

-You know what care means.

-Yeah.

It means, like, to care. LAUGHTER

-Like you do.

-To hug and to love.

-There you go.

-Jodie our thesaurus on podium one there. Brilliant.

-Thank you.

-You're welcome.

-We might be coming back to you.

-OK.

-Danielle, welcome to Pointless. Lovely to have you here.

-Hi.

Now then, you also won your role in front of the nation

-in Over The Rainbow.

-Yes.

How was that? How many weeks did you do that for?

I think it was about 12 weeks in total.

-And what are you doing at the moment? You're in Les Mis?

-Yes, I'm playing Eponine in Les Mis.

I've been there about ten months now. It's just been the most amazing time.

Yeah. Fabulous. Now then, Danielle, a word ending "are".

OK. Erm, I'm going to go for beware.

Beware, says Danielle. Beware. Let's see if that's right.

Again, I'm pretty sure it is. Let's see how many of our 100 people said beware.

It's right. 67 our high score at the moment.

You've whizzed past that. Beware...

-..finishes at 18. Well done.

-APPLAUSE

Well played, Danielle. Be cautious and aware of risks and danger and what have you.

-Beware.

-Beware.

-Ben.

-Hi.

-The younger of our two Jesuses on podium three there.

Are you busy doing the arena tour at the moment?

Yeah, we're actually in the international arena tour,

-so we're about to go to Australia.

-Wow.

-Which is very exciting.

Fantastic! How long's that been going on for?

We started last October in the O2,

-so it's been quite a journey.

-Wow.

What incredible places you must be playing, as well.

It's amazing to do arenas, as a theatre performer, to get the opportunity to do that is amazing.

OK, Ben, we're looking for words ending in "are".

-What are you going to go for?

-I'm scared. I've got two words in my head

and they're both a risk cos I'm trying to get as low as possible,

and I don't know whether I've got the right spelling. I'm not a very good speller.

One's a French word, I think,

and it might be finished in a different way,

but I might say flambare.

-Flambare.

-No, no, no, no.

-Flambare. Erm, Ben...

-I just said it out loud and I think it's wrong.

Well, we'll find out. Flambare. Let's see, is it right, and if it is, how many people said flambare?

-Ben, I'm so sorry!

-Sorry.

Bad luck. An incorrect answer, I'm afraid, which scores you the maximum of 100 points.

-Yeah, unlucky. It's flambe, which would be...

-Flambe.

As soon as I said it, I was like...

Exactly. We need you to rise again somehow on the second pass.

-I'll try.

-LAUGHTER

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, Kerry.

-Hello.

-Kerry, welcome. Are there any shows you haven't been in?

-SHE LAUGHS

-Er, there are still some.

-There are a couple.

But you are a doyenne. You've been in all the big shows.

I have done one or two, yes.

My Fair Lady, Wicked, We Will Rock You, Les Mis.

-And Oliver, as well.

-Yes. I do still have to pinch myself

that I get to work with these amazing people.

It's just crazy and I'm very fortunate.

Fantastic. Now, what we need from you, Kerry, is a word ending in "are".

Might not be so fortunate on this programme,

but I'm going to go with something I think a bit safe,

but let's hope people have said it. I'm going to go for rare.

Rare. Well, let's hope it is. Let's see how many of our 100 people said rare.

-It's right.

-At least somebody said it.

-Well, 18 is our lowest score.

-46. 46 for rare.

-APPLAUSE

-Didn't need to take any risks there, given the other scores, so well played.

-Thanks, Richard.

And nicely sidestepped having to define rare.

Rare means it doesn't happen often.

It doesn't happen often, no, you usually give one every single answer.

It's something you can do to beef that's not flambeing.

-LAUGHTER

-Oh, see? I'm going to be a laughing stock.

LAUGHTER

Thanks. We're halfway through the round, let's look at the scores.

The best score of that pass was yours, Danielle. Very well done. 18.

Lovely low score, especially in the context of 46, Kerry and Tim,

67, Jodie and Gary, and then 100, I'm afraid, Ben and Paul.

Paul, you never know, there might be another 100 scored in the round.

But if we have a really low score from you, it might be enough to see you through to the next round.

-I doubt if that will happen, but...

-Well, it may!

Best of luck. We'll come back down the line. Second players, take your places.

Now then, Tim, welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here.

I mean, my goodness. Proper West End royalty, Tim.

-Mm.

-Amazing. You have not only been behind some of the big names in the modern musical

but also you've won Grammy Awards, you've won Oscars,

you've won Tonys, you've won all sorts of things. Fabulous to have you here.

Of all the things you have done,

which is the thing you think is the most... the thing you look back on with the most pride?

-In the theatre?

-Yeah.

Erm, I don't know. I suppose starting off, really.

Getting something recorded.

Just a song being recorded.

So that would take me back to 1965

when I had a single which still hasn't made the charts...

-LAUGHTER

-It's not too late. You can download it now.

-LAUGHTER

-It's called That's My Story by The Night Shift.

-I'm afraid my song was their entire career.

-Ah.

I would like to apologise publicly to The Night Shift

for finishing their career prematurely.

So, Tim, we would like a word ending "are".

Now, sometimes in these rounds, there are pointless words.

And you've had a little bit of time. I have a feeling you might...

Well, the thing is, you do get very nervous up here,

especially as I'm meant to be a words man. I'm terrified of spelling underwear wrong or something.

I'm going to play moderately safe and go for unaware.

Unaware, says Tim. Unaware.

The high scorers are Paul and Ben on 100, you're on 46,

so you want to be scoring 53 or less. There's your red line.

If you get below that, you are through to round two. How many of our 100 people said unaware?

Very well done.

-Seven! Best score of the round so far, Tim.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-That was pretty professionally done that, wasn't it?

-Yes.

Solid as a rock, straight through to round two. We were thinking, Sir Tim,

there might be some mileage in Pointless The Musical.

-Yes.

-What do you think?

-Actually, you know, there could be, I think.

Anything that's got a great popular fan base, as you two guys clearly have.

I know Xander can sing brilliantly. He's a great singer.

I've sung duets with him in my time and I've been outclassed.

-Amazing.

-No!

-And I can see you as a dancer, Richard.

-Yeah, well...

-So choreography, vocals,

-it's all there.

-I do a lot of modern and jazz dance. My tap isn't what it was.

But you know what? It's not bad. Give me a couple of weeks in the Pineapple Studios,

-I'll get that up to speed.

-Yeah.

But I was thinking maybe Paul Nicholas to play Xander. I think that would be good.

I would be... To play me, Denzel Washington.

-Tom Cruise, I think.

-That's interesting.

-Yeah!

-Tom Cruise standing on Brad Pitt's shoulders.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

You see, it genuinely takes a wordsmith to finally describe me perfectly.

-Yeah.

-He's absolutely got me to a tee.

-Yeah.

-We've got some songs, haven't we?

-Yeah.

-I've got a haunting ballad

called And By Country I Mean A Sovereign State That's A Member Of The UN In Its Own Right.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

-That comes back and back and back.

-Yeah, it's got the refrain.

-You know how that works.

-Beautiful.

And at the end, It's Goodbye From Me, which is a plaintive number, isn't it?

Yeah. And you say, "And it's goodbye from Richard" and I say, "Goodbye."

And the whole place just falls apart.

Just has people weeping... It hasn't happened yet,

-but that's roughly what's going to happen, isn't it?

-Yeah, pretty much.

-Oh, there's the bawdy There's Your Red Line.

-Yeah.

-There's Your Red Line number, which is...

-LAUGHTER

-The old red line.

-Yeah.

I've got My Laptop Isn't Really On, that's another song from it. LAUGHTER

So it sounds like Sir Tim is very much in.

-I'm in for it.

-Paul, you're in for playing Xander?

Yes! Whoever Xander is, I'll play him.

LAUGHTER

Thanks, Richard. Now, Paul.

-Yes.

-Welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Great to have you.

Now, for heavens sake, your career.

-You started off in Hair. I can't remember when that was.

-1968.

-The original cast of Hair.

-Yes. But after Hair,

-I went and did, as we said earlier, Jesus Christ Superstar.

-Yep.

And things have been downhill ever since, really.

LAUGHTER

-I don't mean that.

-Hardly.

-And Just Good Friends, of course.

-Yes.

-Very, very popular sitcom in the 80s.

-Yes.

And now there are Paul Nicholas academies around the place.

Yes, I did a... I think those kind of schools are very good for young kids.

Not every kid is great at spelling or maths,

and I'm about to prove that the case.

Erm, and so these kind of schools give kids an opportunity

to perhaps do things they might enjoy, like sing and dance and act,

-and it gives them confidence and it's a nice thing to be associated with.

-Yeah.

Good stuff. Now, what about a word ending "are" Paul?

Yes. I'm not terribly good at this, I don't think, but I'll have a go.

I thought I'd try fare, F-A-R-E.

F-A-R-E, like travellers fare, exactly.

Fare. OK. There's no red line for you, you are the high scorers.

But let's hope this gets you far down the column. Fare. How many people said that?

-58 for fare.

-APPLAUSE

-Takes your total up to 158.

-APPLAUSE

-A valiant effort. Another pretty big score for fare.

-Mm.

It can be the price of a journey or a certain type of food. Fare.

Or a passenger in a taxi.

Er, yeah, why not? Yeah, could be.

-There we are. Now, Richard, welcome to the show.

-Thank you.

Now, you and I, we didn't quite work together, but we were VJs on MTV.

-We have that history.

-Oh, we have history.

-Hold on one second.

-Richard I can buy as a VJ on MTV. You were a VJ on MTV?

-Come on!

-Yes! Yes, I was!

-LAUGHTER

-I was!

-Is it just me? Is that weird? Does that sound weird?

-LAUGHTER

-It was in character. With Ben.

-Oh, Ben Miller.

-Yeah.

-Oh, I like him.

-Yeah.

-LAUGHTER

-Oh, now I see. I bet it was funny if he was in it.

-Yeah, it was funny.

-Sorry.

-Anyway! Anyway, anyway!

Richard, you've been a comedian, you've been an actor

-and you've got this film at the moment.

-Yes.

-Tell us about that.

-Still Waters. It's a horror film.

-Best of luck with that! Sounds exciting.

Now, the good news is, you're through to the next round whatever. Even if you score 100,

you won't overtake Paul and Ben on 158. But I have a feeling you've got a good answer.

Erm, because Danielle did so well,

I'm going to go with something that people probably would've said

but it's probably not going to get the highest. Nightmare.

Nightmare, says Richard. No red line for you, you're already through.

But let's see how many people said nightmare.

-11!

-APPLAUSE

11 takes your total up to 29.

APPLAUSE

-That's a great answer, Richard. Well played.

-Now, Gary, what are you up to a the moment?

Er, about five-foot-ten, but I do... strain at night to get a little bit taller.

-I've actually taken a year out to write all the things that I've wanted to write.

-How nice!

Because, presumably, throughout your life, you must have spent every evening of your life on stage.

-Yes, that's right.

-So it must be quite a rarity for you to be home when it's dark.

It takes a little bit of getting used to,

but it means I can get to watch loads of daytime telly and there's some great stuff out there.

We're looking for words ending in "are". What are you going to go for?

You're on 67. The high scorers are Paul and Ben on 158.

If you can score 90 or less, you're through.

Ah, right, OK. Well, I'm going to go for declare.

-Declare.

-Does that sounds good to you?

-Sounds very good to me.

-Does it?

There is your red line, Gary. If you get below that red line,

you are in round two. How many people said declare?

It's right and you're through, Gary. Well done.

-Six.

-APPLAUSE

73 is your total.

Very well played, Gary. Worth the wait. Safely through to the next round.

-Let's look at some of the pointless answers.

-Ahem!

-Oh! I'm so sorry.

I think... It's a bit of a gamble, but I would say throughfare. Not thoroughfare but throughfare.

-Throughfare.

-Yeah.

-You sure you're not going to go for thoroughfare?

-I'm going to rue it, but yeah. I'm going to go for throughfare.

-Throughfare.

-Yeah.

-If you'd said to me thoroughfare, let's start with that.

-Yeah.

-Thoroughfare would've scored you three points.

-Good.

-So throughfare...

-Yeah.

-Probably going to do better than that.

Oh, no. All right. OK.

-Throughfare...

-Yeah?

-..would've scored you 100 points. Not a word.

LAUGHTER

I... It most certainly is a word.

It's archaic.

-You're telling me!

-But it's a word. It is a word!

Just because in the 90s you did Alexander Armstrong's MTV Throughfare,

doesn't mean it was a word. LAUGHTER

-Yeah. OK.

-That's a shame.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

Throughfare is not on this board. Biowarfare is on the board.

Sir Tim, Biowarfare The Musical?

-Yep, very good.

-Something in that.

Dinnerware would've been a pointless answer. Lots of ones people were worried might be two words.

Haircare is also one word. Would've been pointless.

Outstare. Ovenware. Skincare was a pointless answer. Well done if you said that.

You could've had springhare. Threadbare, a nice one.

And timeshare, as well, would've been a terrific answer.

Let's take a look at the biggest three answers.

Mare for 63. Bare for 65.

And top of the board, the first one we heard, care on 67.

But lots of those pointless answers were those compound words

-that you'd be terrified to use, I suspect.

-Yeah.

Thanks, Richard. At the end of our first round, the pair heading home with their high score of 158,

I'm afraid it's the Jesus twins, it's Paul and Ben. I'm so sorry.

-I'm sorry.

-They're tough. They are tough, these rounds, as we have seen.

It was so annoying cos I knew that it was the wrong word as soon as I said it,

but in my head I was like, "Yeah, that'd be quite a good one."

I would've been out, as well. Throughfare. Apparently not a word.

Anyway, we have to say goodbye, Paul and Ben, far too soon.

-It's been lovely having you on the show.

-Thank you.

-Ben and Paul.

-APPLAUSE

-Good luck.

-But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for round two.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And so only three celebrity pairs remain at the end of that round.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for round two is...

Pop bands. Can you decide in your pairs... You and me, Richard, we'll be brilliant on this.

Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

Whoever's going first, step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-Big bands and their hits.

-Yeah, slightly misleading title.

I'm going to show you the names of six UK top 40 singles.

You need to tell us the name of the group that had a hit with them. All the groups had six or more members.

So just give us any of the groups who had a hit with any of these songs in the years you're about to see.

There'll be 12 in all to have a go at at home. Good luck.

Thanks, Richard. We're looking for the names of the bands who had hits with these singles.

Here's our first board of six.

I'll read those one last time.

There we are, six UK top 40 singles all released by biggish bands. Gary.

-What do you make of the board, to start with?

-Yeah, I've got one, I think.

Erm, it might date me a little bit.

And I think After The Love Has Gone was Earth, Wind And Fire.

Earth, Wind And Fire, says Gary. Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said it.

It is absolutely right.

It's a nice low score, Gary. Down it goes. Still going down.

-Five! Very well done indeed!

-APPLAUSE

That's a very good first answer, Gary. That puts the pressure on everybody else.

Nine members when that was released, Earth, Wind And Fire. Don't know what the other six were called.

LAUGHTER

-Richard.

-Yes.

-Richard.

-Yes.

OK, er, the truth is, I know every group that done every song.

So what it is more, I'm trying to think of what would be the least

in terms of what people would know.

Erm, So Solid Crew, 21 Seconds.

So Solid Crew, says Richard, for 21 Seconds.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many of our 100 people said So Solid Crew.

It's right.

-11.

-APPLAUSE

-Very well done, Richard. 11 for So Solid Crew.

-APPLAUSE

Well played, Richard. Very strong so far. There's been over 30 members of So Solid Crew.

-There's 23 on that track. They each have 21 seconds of that track, hence the name.

-Nice. Thanks.

Now, Tim. Tim, you're the last person to have this board.

I think... I think you're going to know all of these.

-Well, you're wrong.

-LAUGHTER

I can't remember the top one, which is annoying me.

-I know Ghost Town was... I can say who they are?

-Yeah, you can say them all.

Ghost Town was The Specials, but everybody knows that, and Baggy Trousers was Madness.

So as I'm extremely senior in this game, I'm going for an old band

who had a big hit in 1969 with Everyday People,

-Sly And The Family Stone.

-Sly And The Family Stone, says Tim,

for Everyday People. Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right. 11 is our high score, five our low at this stage.

You pass 11, pass five. Two! Very well done indeed, Tim!

-Yay!

-APPLAUSE

An excellent answer. Two for Sly And The Family Stone.

That's a brilliant answer, Tim. Very well done. This happens very rarely.

We've got the best three answers on the board from the three of you,

so very well played. Doesn't happen very often.

Let's take a look at the worst three answers.

-Annie I'm Not Your Daddy was Kid Creole And The Coconuts.

-Right.

Would've scored you 20 points.

And you were right about the other two and right to avoid them.

Ghost Town was The Specials, which would've scored you 30.

And Baggy Trousers was Madness and that's the biggest scorer by a mile, 74 points.

Thanks. We're halfway through the round, let's look at the scores.

The best score of that pass was Tim's. Tim and Kerry looking pretty commanding at this stage.

Then up to five, where we find Gary and Jodie, and 11, where we find Richard and Danielle.

So Danielle, we require a really low score from you and have to hope it keeps you in the game. Best of luck.

We'll come back down the line. Second players, take your places.

OK, we're going to put six more songs on the board and here they are.

I'll read them one last time.

We're looking for the names of the bands who had hits with these singles.

Kerry, you're going to try and find the one you think the fewest people knew.

The high scorers are Danielle and Richard on 11. You're on two.

If, for example, you could score eight or less,

you will avoid becoming the new high scorers.

Eight? I think I'll be lucky to get 100.

Erm...

Oh, gosh!

Erm...

I can't think. My mind's gone blank.

I've got nothing. My mind's gone completely blank.

I don't even know my name right now,

let alone a band. Erm...

Erm, I'm going to say...

I'm going to say... I don't know.

Er... I really can't think. All the bands I can think of have got four people in.

Just give me the name of a band. Pick one of these and give me the name of a band.

Status Quo.

-Which songs would you like them to have done?

-Hanging On The Telephone.

-So bad.

-I'd quite like to hear that.

Status Quo, Hanging On The Telephone. Quite like to hear that.

There is your red line, Kerry. Bad luck. It happens, I'm afraid.

Status Quo, says Kerry, for Hanging On The Telephone. Let's see if that's right,

-and if it is, how many of our 100 people said Status Quo.

-Oh, no!

-I'm sorry, Kerry!

-I should've said Flambe!

APPLAUSE

I'm sorry. That takes your total up to 102,

an incorrect answer, scoring you 100 points. Sorry.

Sorry, Kerry. They would do a good version of Hanging On The Telephone.

But also, because of Tim's answer, you're still in this

-if there's another 100-pointer here.

-Dreadful.

-Danielle.

-OK.

-Danielle, how do you feel about this board?

OK, cos I was born in '92, so when I was listening to bands,

it was around the 2000, 2002.

Erm, some of the others, I'm not 100 percent sure of,

but I think they might be more popular songs, so I'm going to go...

I'm between two. I don't know which one's going to have the most points,

but I'm only 100 percent sure on one.

So I'm going to go for Reach and I'm going to say it's S Club 7.

Reach, S Club 7.

S Club 7, says Danielle. Here is your red line.

Nice and high. If you get below that,

you are through to the head-to-head. Let's see how many of our 100 people said S Club 7.

-It's right and you're through.

-Thank God.

-Very well done. 14.

-APPLAUSE

14 takes your total up to 25.

Well played, Danielle. Very strong on podium two from the two of you.

Yeah, S Club 7. They had eight members.

-LAUGHTER

-I've just got that.

-Jodie.

-Mm-hm.

-How do you feel about this board, Jodie?

I could stand here and sing every number on that board,

but when it comes to it...

-Do you want to talk us through it? And fill in the blanks?

-No.

-SHE LAUGHS

-No, don't.

I think what I'm going to go for is I Don't Like Mondays,

but in my head, I'm rather confused with the fact that I'm sure they had less than that.

Is it the Boom...town... Rats

-with Bob Geldof?

-You're going to say the Boomtown Rats.

Boomtown Rats. Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said it.

There's your red line coming in now. It's very high.

If you get below that, you're in the head-to-head. How many of our 100 people said that?

-It's right.

-Oh!

-Very well done.

-64. Wow. It's a high score.

-APPLAUSE

64 takes your total up to 69, but you are through.

Well played, Jodie. There were six of them, as well.

-I never knew that. Now I do.

-Now you do.

Let's take a look at the rest. Tim, are there any on that board

that you would know?

Not very good, I'm afraid. Blondie is Hanging On The Telephone.

That's right. That would've scored 55.

Chicago, If You Leave Me Now. But I'm afraid Crossroads, I thought that was a TV series.

If You Leave Me Now, you're right, Chicago. That would've scored you 21.

-I suspect Crossroads was the other one Danielle was thinking of going for.

-Yeah. Blazin' Squad.

Absolutely right. It was a terrific score, as well. Would've scored you two.

And the best answer on the board,

from 2005, Wake Up, is the Arcade Fire.

-Would've scored you one point. Very well done if you said that.

-The Arcade Fire?

-I call them the Arcade Fire. Do you not?

-No.

-Oh, OK.

-Should I just say Arcade Fire?

-No...

I was a big fan of the Blur. I loved the Blur.

LAUGHTER

-I thought they were ace.

-LAUGHTER

Thanks. So, at the end of our second round,

I'm sorry to say, it's Tim and Kerry who'll be leaving us with their high score of 102.

Amazing to have you on the show and I'm so sorry that we're not going to have you for the rest of the show

because I know you'd have great answers and you'd be great fun.

Anyway, we're going to meet up again at Pointless The Musical.

-Oh, yeah.

-I've booked a theatre.

-OK.

-We'll see you for rehearsals on Monday.

-Fine. No worries.

-Good stuff.

Thank you so much. Kerry and Tim, lovely contestants.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

-APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Richard and Danielle, Jodie and Gary,

you're now one step closer to the final and the chance to play for the jackpot, which stands at £2,500.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Now, to decide who's going to play for that money, you're now going to go head-to-head,

but the big difference is you are now allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot. You've done so well, all of you.

-Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

-APPLAUSE

Now, here comes your first question and it concerns...

-Whoo!

-Wine. Richard.

We're going to give you five clues to facts about wine.

Can you give us the most obscure answer from this board? Good luck.

OK, thanks. Let's reveal our five clues, and here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Richard and Danielle, you've played best so far so you get to go first.

-The thing is, when we whisper, we're still very loud.

-Yes, we are.

OK, erm, I think I've got an idea of one

just because of the name, but that's...

OK, I'm going to go for the country in which you would find the Chianti region

-and I've gone with Italy.

-Italy, say Richard and Danielle. Italy for Chianti.

-Now, Jodie and Gary, the rest of the board is yours.

-THEY WHISPER

Talk us through it, Gary. You can speak out loud if you like.

-Fill in all the blanks.

-Er, well, I think the Portugal one,

-isn't that light ale?

-LAUGHTER

-Yeah.

-Australian is lager.

-Yeah.

I don't know. The pinotage, does that sound like it might be

a false name and it might be English?

-No.

-No?

-I don't think it is.

It sounds made up. But I think the sweet...

-Yeah.

-Portugal.

-Yeah.

The only one we really know is the top one, Portugal, port.

Port, the sweet fortified wine. So we have Italy and we have port.

Now then, Richard and Danielle have said Italy for Chianti.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said Italy.

It's absolutely right, Danielle. Very well done.

-Ooh, 74.

-APPLAUSE

It's right. It's a good answer.

A high score. But Jodie and Gary have gone for port.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said port.

It's right. Will it beat 74?

-Yes, it will!

-Oh, wow!

And how! Look at that! 28 for port!

APPLAUSE

Well played, Jodie and Gary. After one question, you are up one-nil.

Good start, Jodie and Gary. Quite a tough board, that one.

-Do you know about wine?

-A bit.

-Do you know the name given to the Syrah grape?

-Shiraz?

It is Shiraz. That would've scored 15.

Now, the bottom one, the country where pinotage was bred?

Well, pinot noir is French, but pinotage I think is an American...

-It's South African.

-Oh, South African.

That would've scored you 13 points.

And this other answer is a pointless answer.

So anybody at home who knew that was nebbiolo...

-Nebbiolo. Nothing at all.

-I knew that one.

-We knew it.

-Ohh!

-That's frustrating, isn't it?

-Anyway, thank you, Richard.

Here comes your second question. Jodie and Gary, if you win this, you're through to the final.

Danielle and Richard, you know what you have to do. It concerns...

Carry On actors. Richard.

We're going to show you five pictures now of actors who regularly appeared in Carry On films.

-Can you identify one of these, please.

-Thanks.

OK, let's reveal our five Carry On actors, and here they are.

There we are, five Carry On actors. Jodie and Gary, you go first.

-Yeah, who would you say?

-Shh, keep it down.

THEY WHISPER

-We've come to our decision.

-Yes.

And we're going to go for C, Peter Butterworth.

Peter Butterworth, C. Peter Butterworth, say Jodie and Gary.

Richard and Danielle, you have to win this point to stay in the game.

Talk us through the board if you can.

Well... See, the thing is, I know the one I'm going to give

everybody's said, unfortunately.

But E, Sid James.

OK, Sid James.

So we have Peter Butterworth versus Sid James.

Jodie and Gary have said Peter Butterworth is C.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many of our 100 people said Peter Butterworth.

It's right.

-Very well done. 12.

-APPLAUSE

12 for Peter Butterworth. Brilliant!

Richard and Danielle have said E, Sid James.

E, Sid James. Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said Sid James.

It's right.

-83.

-APPLAUSE

Very well done. Gary and Jodie, after only two questions, you're through to the final two-nil.

Peter Butterworth is a terrific answer. Best answer on the board. Nothing you could've done.

He appeared in 14 Carry On films. He was a prisoner of war during World War II,

where he met the Carry On writer, Talbot Rothwell.

A was Hattie Jacques.

She would've scored you 54.

B was Kenneth Connor

and he would've scored you 23.

And D was Bernard Bresslaw.

Didn't always look like that. He would've scored you 30.

-Some big scores there.

-Very good. So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head,

I'm afraid it's Richard and Danielle. I'm so sorry.

Tough category. The wines category, really hard!

-Kind of threw us.

-Once I saw wine, I knew it was a wrap for me.

And those Carry On actors, yes, really tough.

Very hard to beat... Well, actually, impossible to beat Peter Butterworth. Such a good answer.

But we've loved having you on the show. Thank you for playing. Richard and Danielle.

APPLAUSE

But for Jodie and Gary, it's now time for our Pointless final.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Jodie and Gary,

you've seen off all the competition and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot for your charities

and today, the jackpot stands at £2,500.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well, you have done so well.

We have had words, we've had music, we've had wine, we've had Carry On.

-What a carry on we've had!

-Just like being in the theatre every night.

-It is, actually.

-What would you like to see come up in this last round?

-I hope it's not general knowledge, cos I'm rubbish.

-Yeah.

-I don't know. I've no idea.

-Sport.

-Sport.

-Home economics.

Home economics. Jodie?

Anything to do with dogs. I love dogs. I prefer them to humans.

-Really?

-So that, dogs.

-OK, good.

As always, you kick this round off by choosing a category and here are your four choices.

-GARY LAUGHS

-Erm...

Can I have my trophy and go, please? Is that all right?

-Well, Gary, what have we done here now?

-I don't know.

Well, erm... I don't know anything about fashion.

OK, stay away from the fashion.

-Popular Irish music.

-We could go with the Irish music.

-2010 UK general election.

-How about directors named David?

Are we talking musical directors or film directors?

-Could be, erm...

-I think that's probably our best one.

-Do you think? Shall we say directors?

-Go on, then.

-Directors.

-Yeah, directors.

-OK. You're going to go with directors named David.

-Yeah.

-Directors named David. Richard.

-Yeah, I'm not sure about that choice, but don't let me...

-Oh, no!

We're going to give you three different categories now

of directors from very different eras, so hopefully something here will help you.

We're looking for any feature film made for cinema release for which David Lynch was credited as director.

Any feature film made for cinema release for which David Lean was credited as director.

Or for which David Cronenberg was credited as director.

So any feature film made for cinema release

for which any of those three men were credited as director. Very, very best of luck.

OK. You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that £2,500 jackpot for your charities

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

The answers you give can come from any of these three categories. They can be three from one category,

one from each category, two from one, one from another, it's up to you.

As long as it's from one, at least, of these three categories.

-Are you happy?

-No.

-No.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Are you ready?

-No.

-THEY LAUGH

Is there anything else we can explain?

-Erm... no.

-No.

-OK.

-We'll talk for a minute?

-You will have a minute.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Let's put 60 seconds on the clock. There they are.

-Your time starts now.

-So when you say dogs...

Yeah, I love Yorkshire terriers. They're my favourite.

-Cos I've got three.

-Fantastic. Have you?

-Yeah.

-What are their names?

-SHE LAUGHS

-Right, Gary...

-David Lean. He's the big things,

like Lawrence Of Arabia, was that a David Lean movie?

-Er, that's the only one I know, really.

-Yeah.

-Er...

-I have lost all ability.

-Have you?

-Yeah.

-We don't need a minute, really, do we?

-No, we don't. I think we're kind of ready.

We'll chat some more if you'd like.

-We need three answers.

-We need three!

-We need three answers, yes.

-Of course!

-Erm...

-OK, David...

THEY MUTTER

-Did he do, like, westerns?

-He didn't do Sound Of Music, did he, David Lean?

Isn't that David Ian? That's David Ian you're thinking.

-THEY LAUGH

-That's David Ian!

-Ten seconds left.

-That's another contract for you.

No, that's the only one. David Lynch.

-OK, that is your time up, I'm afraid to say. I now need three answers from you.

-OK.

Let's do the Lawrence Of Arabia.

Lawrence Of Arabia. Will you say which one it's for?

-David Lean.

-Yes.

-OK, Lawrence Of Arabia for David Lean.

-David Lynch, Born Free.

-Born Free.

-Born Free, David Lynch.

And, er, David Cronenberg, er...

-Aww!

-He did 101 Dalmatians.

101 Dalmatians for David Cronenberg.

-Yeah.

-So we've got David Cronenberg, 101 Dalmatians.

-Yeah, we're confident with that one.

-My favourite,

David Lynch's Born Free.

-And David Lean's Lawrence Of Arabia.

-Sure.

-Brilliant.

Which of those is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-I think David Lean.

-David Lean, Lawrence Of Arabia.

OK, we'll put Lawrence Of Arabia last. Least likely?

I thought David Lynch did Picnic At Hanging Rock with a name like Lynch, but I don't think he did.

So we'll put him second and, of course...

Cronenberg at the top, yeah. The unforgettable 101 Dalmatians.

OK, let's put those up on the board in that order. Here they are.

THEY LAUGH

Very, very best of luck. Your first answer, the one you thought was least likely to be pointless,

-was David Cronenberg's 101 Dalmatians.

-Yes.

-I know he did it. He did do it.

-Did he win an Oscar for that?

-He did.

-He got nominated, he didn't win it.

-Oh, right.

OK, let's find out if this is correct. If it is and it is pointless,

you will win today's jackpot for your charities.

-What are your charities? Jodie?

-My charity is Max.

-Max?

-Max Appeal, yes. Max charity is for children who aren't born with any eyes

or their eyes don't develop,

so through that, they do the most phenomenal things for all the kids.

They take them on weekends, they develop new toys for them,

and all the families get to come together, which is so important.

-And it's a beautiful charity.

-Very good indeed.

-And Gary?

-It's the Surrey Deaf Children's Society.

Excellent. Two very good charities there.

APPLAUSE

I'd like to say three good answers up there. There are three answers up there.

-LAUGHTER

-One of them I'm pretty sure is good.

Let's see. Let's hope. You never know.

So David Cronenberg, did he direct 101 Dalmatians?

-Nooo. Alas!

-Ohh!

We'll never be asked to do one of his films, I can tell you that for nothing.

-It was there, right next to throughfare.

-LAUGHTER

-Throughfare.

-Yeah.

-OK, now, your second answer was Born Free,

this time directed by David Lynch.

Let's find out if that's correct, and if it is, let's find out if it's pointless.

And if it is, you will leave here with £2,500 for your charities.

David Lynch, did he direct Born Free?

-No.

-Ohh!

-Not so much.

-I think we're doing quite well.

-OK.

Everything is now riding on your final answer, which is a proper answer.

You are saying Lawrence of Arabia was directed by David Lean.

If this is right and it is pointless, you will leave here with £2,500 for your charities.

Did David Lean direct Lawrence Of Arabia?

-He did!

-Oh, yes.

He did. Now, 101 Dalmatians was incorrect,

as was Born Free. But we are now...

-13.

-Oh, darn it!

-I could've guessed that.

APPLAUSE

-He's just said...

-Not a bad score.

We've both just said 13 is actually our lucky number. I don't know why.

-Well, there you are.

-Not today, though.

Well, there we are, it was right. That was pretty lucky. That's good.

Unfortunately, you didn't manage to find a pointless answer,

so you don't win today's jackpot of £2,500.

But as it's a celebrity special, we're going to donate £500 to each celebrity pair for their charities.

And we have loved having you on the show. Thank you both so much.

-And you do get to take home a Pointless trophy.

-Hey!

-So well done.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Yeah, you've been brilliant fun. A very tough final category.

I'll go through some of the pointless answers. David Lynch did Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me,

Blue Velvet, Eraserhead, all those sorts of films. All of those would've scored points.

There's actually only one pointless David Lynch film

and that was Inland Empire. Very well done if you said that at home.

David Lean, there's a few more that people might have got.

Blithe Spirit, his version of the Noel Coward story, that was pointless.

Hobson's Choice. Madeleine, also pointless, as was This Happy Breed.

That was a pointless answer. Also Summertime and The Sound Barrier were pointless for David Lean.

And David Cronenberg, probably his most famous films are The Fly and A History Of Violence,

so not the director of 101 Dalmatians.

But he was the director of A Dangerous Method,

that was the film with Michael Fassbender and Keira Knightley very recently, that was pointless,

as were Shivers, Spider and The Dead Zone.

So we didn't give you a category about dogs but you still managed to get over 100 dogs into your answer.

-Enough said.

-Thanks.

Well, we have to say goodbye to you, Jodie and Gary,

but we've loved having you on the show. Thank you for playing. Jodie and Gary.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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