Experts Pointless Celebrities

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and welcome to this special experts edition of Pointless Celebrities,

the show where the aim of the game is to score as few points as you can.

You do that by coming up with the answers no-one else could think of.

Let's meet today's Pointless celebrities.

APPLAUSE

Couple number one.

I'm Michaela Strachan, I'm a wildlife presenter,

previously of programmes like The Really Wild Show.

These days, it's Springwatch.

And I'm Martin Hughes-Games and I too am a wildlife presenter.

APPLAUSE

Couple number two.

I'm Eric Knowles and I work on BBC Antiques Roadshow.

I work on another programme with Mark Stacey,

and I'm his probation officer.

LAUGHTER

Well, I'm Mark Stacey.

I work on a number of BBC antiques shows and I've learnt all I need

to know from Eric, so I'm feeling pretty pointless at the moment.

APPLAUSE

Couple number three.

Hi there, I'm Michael Douglas -

not the actor, as you can probably tell -

but the hairdresser and One Show presenter.

And I'm Nicky Clarke, and I'm a hairdresser.

APPLAUSE

And finally, couple number four.

I'm Alice Roberts

and I'm a science presenter on the BBC.

I'm also an anatomist and I work at the University of Birmingham.

I'm Dick Strawbridge.

We work together, we love the seaside.

We work on Coast. Alice is a professor.

She's got the brains and the looks, but I've got the moustache.

APPLAUSE

And these are today's contestants. Thanks very much, all of you.

We'll find out more about each of you as the show goes along.

That leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He was in the running to be the next James Bond until the producers

saw him trying to get into an Aston Martin.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hiya. Hi, everybody. Hiya!

-Good evening.

-And to you, sir.

-This will be fun, won't it?

-Won't it?

We've done one of those experts shows before.

We have all sorts of different celebrities on the show

and sometimes we do experts ones.

They're always unbelievably clever, that's the key thing.

I would imagine, if you're watching now,

the key thing to expect is - pow! -

pointless answer after pointless answer

exploding everywhere across the screen, don't you think?

-I'd have thought.

-They look like a clever bunch.

-And best moustache ever, I think.

-Absolutely. No question.

We have done a lot of episodes.

A lot of episodes, so it is quite some accolade.

I think it just takes over from Willie Thorne.

LAUGHTER

-The previous holder.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

All our questions have been asked to 100 people before the show.

As ever, the aim of the game is to find a pointless answer,

an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Now, as today's show is a celebrity special,

each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity.

So we start off with a jackpot of...

WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE

Riches untold.

OK, if everyone is ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

OK, all you have to remember is that the pair with the highest score

at the end of the round will be eliminated,

so keep your scores as low as you possibly can.

Best of luck. Our first category today is...

Film Actors.

Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first

-and who's going to go second?

-Are you sure?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

Shared Roles, Richard.

Yeah, on each board, we're going to show you some pairs of actors.

Those pairs of actors have each played the same role on film.

To help you a bit, we will give you the initials of the role they played.

You just have to tell us what role it is, please.

There will be seven on each board, 14 in all to have a go at at home.

Very best of luck.

OK, thanks very much indeed. So we are looking for the name of the character that has been

played by both of these actors and here is our first board of seven.

I'll read those all one final time.

There we go. Michaela.

Michaela, you are going to go first. Welcome to the show, Michaela.

Now, of all the many, many, many things you have seen in the wild,

is there one thing still on your list that you are longing to see?

Definitely - I've never seen blue whales.

So I'd love to go to somewhere like California Baja

and experience just the size of a blue whale.

So that's definitely on my list of things to do.

-Have you been hunting for them and not seen them?

-I never hunt!

-I mean...I don't mean that!

-That would be a story -

Michaela Strachan's been hunting blue whales.

That would've been in the paper! LAUGHTER

-Have you been searching for...? There we go.

-No.

No, I've never been anywhere where they're in the vicinity,

So that would be amazing. And, apparently,

California Baja is one of the best places to go to see them.

Very good. OK, now, Michaela, there are the pairs of actors.

They've all played the same character. What is that character?

-I've got to be perfectly honest...

-Be it.

Films are not my strong point and actors are not my strong point.

But I'm... This is a random guess for me.

IJ must be Indiana Jones.

Indiana Jones, says Michaela, for Harrison Ford and River Phoenix.

Let's see that's right and, if so, let's see how many of our 100 people said Indiana Jones.

It's right.

-Oh!

-75.

-APPLAUSE

Good start. Good start, well done.

-Not bad. It's a tough board.

-Yeah, it is a tough one.

There might be some incorrect answers coming later on,

so 75, you might have got that cheaply.

Yeah, big score there. River Phoenix appears as Indiana Jones

in Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade.

Plays the young Indy right in the beginning.

-Thanks very much. Now, Mark...

-Yes.

-..welcome.

-Thank you.

-Lovely to be here.

-Welcome. Great to have you here.

Obviously, you are on countless antiques programmes or have been

associated with, haven't you?

You have your own antiques shop. And how often are you in there?

-Not very often at all, actually!

-I'd imagine if anyone comes in and catches sight of you, they go,

"Oh!" and they kind of have to buy something, don't they?

-They can't really leave and...

-You know,

I try and persuade them that they really need it for their home.

I think you would trust Mark more now he's been on TV.

If you go into his shop and he told you something was worth 30 quid, you go, "Oh, oh, it must be."

Well, I'm not sure about that, not sure about that.

People think I'm an expert,

but I've really got a thin veneer of knowledge over a bit of ignorance.

Yeah, but is it a nice, turned walnut veneer? That's the key thing.

-LAUGHTER

-Burr walnut!

What is your particular sphere of expertise?

I'm a generalist, so I like all sorts of things. I like ceramics.

-Ceramics?

-And silver and furniture.

OK, Mark, look at this board full of people who have shared film roles.

Oh, gosh.

I knew the one Michaela said.

I think I know the Marlon Brando one but I don't know the first name.

And if I say the wrong one, it might be 100.

So I'm going to go for an easy one, I'm afraid.

Errol Flynn and Kevin Costner, Robin Hood.

Robin Hood, says Mark. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Robin Hood.

It's right. Oh, past the 75.

57.

APPLAUSE

This is good, Mark.

Yeah, 1938 for Errol Flynn and Kevin Costner in 1991.

He's accused - at one point, they say he's stolen over £3 million.

And given the entire Exchequer of England at that point was

worth £25,000, that was some going.

LAUGHTER

OK, well, thank you very much indeed, Richard.

-Now then...

-Yes.

-Welcome to Pointless.

Good to have you. Do you still cut hair?

-Do you go out and wield a blade still?

-I do, yes.

I had clients this morning before I came here.

Because you have an empire. You have an empire of...

I love standing behind the chair.

It's hardly, you know, being at the coal face, is it,

somebody telling you you're brilliant every day.

What's not to like?

They don't tell me that!

LAUGHTER

Anyway, Nicky, right, so there we have lots of shared roles.

Well, I think I know most of them,

so it's really about second-guessing what other people wouldn't know,

isn't it?

It's between Ian Holm and Audrey Hepburn.

OK, I'm going to go for Audrey Hepburn, I think...

..and Julia Ormond.

I think that's Sabrina.

Sabrina. Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Sabrina.

It's right.

16, very well done indeed, Nicky.

-APPLAUSE

-Best score so far. By a distance.

Well played, Nicky. Terrific start.

Both appeared as Sabrina Fairchild in two separate movies called Sabrina.

-Now then, Dick, welcome.

-Thank you very much indeed.

You've been so many things.

-Apart from anything else, you were a lieutenant colonel.

-I was.

-But you have been an engineer...

-I have.

-..an inventor...

-Yes.

Now you're a sort of restaurateur, aren't you?

-And a cook, yeah.

-And a cook.

And obviously the owner of the best moustache since Viking times.

I just stand here and it goes forward all by itself.

-You know, it's practically cheating, isn't it?

-Wonderful. Wonderful.

-Of all these things, which do you prefer?

-I love them all.

-Life's too short to do one thing all your life, so I just do lots. Have a go at everything.

-Excellent.

Talking about having a go at everything, will you

fill in all the bits on this board that haven't yet been filled?

Fill them in?

I'm afraid I have to say Corry...

Corryalolo, yeah, yeah(!)

The Godfather. I don't know the first name either.

-Yeah, I'm struggling with that.

-Yeah.

ET, I thought it was a little chap on a bicycle,

so I'm going to ignore that one.

LAUGHTER

BB, I got completely stuck on that one.

So I only know one,

and I think that's going to have to be Spider-Man.

Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield, Spider-Man, says Dick.

Let's see if it's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Spider-Man.

It's right.

Look at that, Dick, not bad at all.

-54.

-APPLAUSE

The second-lowest score of the round, if you please!

-54 for Spider-Man.

-Well played, Dick.

Great score on that last podium.

Gives Alice a big chance on the next board.

Now, let's fill in the rest of these.

I think everyone knows that the Marlon Brando/De Niro one

is Corleone, but what is the first name there?

-Vito.

-Vito.

Victor.

Vito Corleone, yeah. Vito Corleone.

It's a good score, would've scored 14 points.

The top one, Divine and John Travolta

both starred in the John Waters musical, Hairspray.

Different versions. They both played Edna Turnblad.

-Oh, that's right! Edna Turnblad.

-The best answer there.

Would've scored 9 points.

And at the bottom, you'll know this one - Ian Holm and Martin Freeman?

-Bilbo Baggins.

-Both played Bilbo Baggins, yeah.

And that would've scored you 35 points.

-Best answer up there, Edna Turnblad.

-Thanks very much indeed.

Halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

16, Nicky. The best score of that pass. Very well done indeed.

Then we travel up to 54, where we find Dick and Alice.

Up to 57, Mark and Eric.

Then 75, Michaela and Martin.

Now, Martin, you have to score low to stay with us

at the end of this round. You are a little bit ahead.

Best of luck. Coming back down the line.

Can the second players step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more pairs of actors up on the board,

and here they come. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

There you go, Alice. We're looking for the name of the character

that is in initials after these pairs of names,

and that character has been played by both of these actors.

Alice, welcome.

-Can I have a question about bones instead of this?

-Maybe next round.

Maybe next round! But just a quick question about bones.

When you see a bone, do you know instantly what it is?

If I were to see a bone, I would be able to tell you what it was

in terms of where it came from in a skeleton.

That's good, that's impressive. That's good.

-I wouldn't necessarily know exactly which animal it was from.

-Right.

I would recognise it immediately if it was human.

I am pretty good at some species of animals,

but there are some where I'd have to go and ask a vet

or more of a, kind of, animal bone person.

Say if Michaela Strachan had killed a blue whale on a hunt...

LAUGHTER

I might be will to spot that one, yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, there we are. Alice, you're on 54.

The high scorers on 75 are Martin and Michaela.

So, if you could get away with 20 or less,

you're definitely safe into the next round.

Well, I definitely know I know two of them.

But I think they're the easiest ones there.

And I think, of those two, I am probably going to go for the T,

although I think it is quite easy.

I hope it's right.

I think it's Tarzan.

Tarzan, says Alice. Tarzan. Let's see if that is right.

There is your red line. If you get below that, you are absolutely safe.

How many people said Tarzan?

Is it right?

It's right.

51.

APPLAUSE

105, your total.

Very well played, Alice.

Yeah, Tarzan, Johnny Weissmuller first played him in 1932.

Won five Olympic golds in swimming, Johnny Weissmuller.

I thought you were going to say five gold medals for the film. I thought, "Ah, that's nice!"

And Christopher Lambert was in Greystoke, of course.

Thank you very much indeed.

-Michael, welcome.

-Thank you.

-Good to have you here.

I want to ask you about this thing you've been doing with Dan Snow.

-Ah, OK.

-The History Man and the Hairdresser.

-Yeah.

Well, I performed very badly at school in history.

Now I'm 40 and I've got kids and everything,

I thought I should take a keen interest,

and, him being a good mate of mine, decided he would take me on a road

trip around Britain and explain Great British history to me.

-Has it worked? Have you picked it up?

-It's worked very well.

I'm hoping there's going to be some great history questions

that I can get a pointless answer on.

Looking forward to that.

And are you feeling confident about this, Michael?

I know a couple of them, yeah, so that's enough, isn't it?

And Nicky's performed so well with question one

that the pressure is off.

-Exactly. If you can score 88 or less...

-Easy!

-Yeah.

OK, well, I'm going to go

with Gene Hackman/Kevin Spacey, Lex Luther.

Lex Luther, says Michael.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

There's your red line. Get below that, you are safely home and dry.

Very well done.

Ooh, good answer! 36, well done.

APPLAUSE

-52, your total.

-Yeah, Gene Hackman played him three times.

Kevin Spacey, much more recently.

He used to drive around the set in a golf cart with a bullhorn,

shouting, "Superman must die!" Kevin Spacey,

just to spice things up a bit, get into character.

-That must have been brilliant for everyone.

-Lot of fun for everybody.

Lot of fun.

Thank you very much indeed. So, Eric, we come to you.

33 years on Antiques Roadshow.

-Scary, isn't it?

-Across the years,

what's been the most exciting thing put before you?

I think probably a very, very, sort of, boring-looking

little glass vase which was about the size of my two hands

put together and moulded with little ferns on the top

and the shoulders.

And out it comes, and the woman said to me, she said,

"I bought the plant for a pound at a car boot."

And it was a very rare piece of Lalique glass.

It was a lost wax piece. It's a one-off.

And I valued it at £25,000.

Wow!

But she then went on to sell it for £26,000, which was quite nice,

because you've got to make sure you get it right on the Roadshow,

because if you get it wrong,

all the experts will write in to you.

Michael Aspel, Fiona Bruce, who is best?

LAUGHTER

OK...

Are we going on hair or legs?

LAUGHTER

-Hair on legs? Who's got the most?

-No, hair or legs!

-Oh, I see. Right.

-No, I would never be pushed on a subject like that.

I'm...I'm too gallant.

Eric, now, there we are,

-a board of shared parts there.

-Right.

This is a tough one for me,

because, you know, the early lot just had me flummoxed.

I'm going to go with Anthony Perkins and Vince Vaughn

and I'm hoping it's Norman Bates.

Norman Bates, says Eric.

You want to score 47 or less with that. There is your red line.

Get below that and you're through to the next round.

Let's see if Norman Bates is right, let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

And you're through. Very well done, Eric.

Ooh, 29!

APPLAUSE

29, the second-lowest score of the round so far, Eric.

Very well done. 86, your total.

Well played, Eric, terrific answer.

Yeah, Vince Vaughn played him in Gus Van Sant's remake of Psycho.

A virtual shot-by-shot remake of it.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

Now, Martin, what is the scaredest you have ever been? Apart from now?

You have been right up close to lots of wild animals.

The scaredest I've ever been was face-to-face with the lioness,

I think. Over a hill,

and I was walking up with two Maasai warriors.

Lions always run away from the Maasai warriors.

And we came over the hill and there was a lioness

and cubs about as far away as you're from me.

And her ears were back and she was snarling at me.

I thought, "What do we do?" I looked round at the Maasai warriors -

gone.

LAUGHTER

And I did think, for a moment,

"She is either going to come at me"...

But, very luckily, she just backed off slowly

and the cubs went in with her.

And I thought, "That was the worst."

-OK, till now.

-Till now, yes!

Talk us through the board.

I'm really bad at this.

I'm fascinated by John Gielgud and Helen Mirren.

What could that be, that a man and woman played that?

I'm kind of toying with taking a massive chance

and saying Henry V or some ridiculous thing, but I'm not.

I'm good to go for Laurence Olivier and Liam Neeson

and I'm going to go for Zorro.

-Zorro?

-Zorro.

-Zorro.

There is your red line.

You have to get below that red line with Zorro.

Let's find out how many people said Zorro. Is it right?

The suspense!

-Oh, no!

-Oh, no!

-GROANING

I would have said Zorro.

Oh, dear, I'm so sorry. An incorrect answer.

Scores you 100 points, takes your total to 175.

I would guess an awful lot of people would have said Zorro.

It does look like it, doesn't it? You see one letter and it's Z.

But they were both in Clash Of The Titans and they both played Zeus.

-Ah!

-That's really unlucky.

I imagine an awful lot of people just made the same error,

so it's very, very tough luck. I think it was a good one to go for.

16 points it would've scored as well, would've been a terrific answer.

Would've kept you in the game.

Shall we take a look at the rest of these?

There's one very, very obvious one there.

What do you reckon, Sean Connery and Daniel Craig it's James Bond

but what do you think it scored?

98.

94.

It's a big score.

-Leonard Nimoy and Zachary Quinto?

-Spock.

-Both played Spock, yep.

That would have scored you 69 points. Another big scorer.

This bottom one, John Gielgud and Helen Mirren,

they did both play the same character.

John Gielgud famously played Dudley Moore's butler in Arthur.

And when it came back with Russell Brand as Arthur,

Helen Mirren played the same role.

Well done at home if you knew that was Hobson.

-Oh!

-Only 2 points.

I was going to say Hamlet.

I thought, "They'll have done some clever production of Hamlet." No.

-Hobson.

-Terrific answer at home if you got that.

Brilliant. Thank you very much, indeed.

At the end of our first round, the pair leaving us

with 175 is Martin and Michaela.

I'm so sorry. It's been lovely having you on the show.

Please come back and do it again.

Been brilliant contestants. Martin and Michaela.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's time for round two.

So, three pairs remain.

At the end of this round, we will whittle that down to two.

You've seen off the wildlife presenters. They are extinct.

LAUGHTER

How extraordinary. Nicky and Michael, very well done.

The class swots in that last round.

Alice and Dick - whoo!

-Lucky escape there.

-Just survived.

Very nice solid performance from Eric and Mark, so very good.

Anything could happen in this round so best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for round two is...

Flags. Can you all decide in your pairs who is going to go first

and who is going to go second?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and our question concerns...

I don't want to misread a room,

but everyone seems delighted with this as a category.

What we're going to do now is show you 15 flags up on the board.

You just need to tell us any country whose flag you see.

You don't have to tell us which flag it is.

Any country whose flag you see.

They've all got gold or yellow in them.

Thank you. We are going to show you an image with lots of flags on it.

All you have to is name any flag that is there.

You don't have to say which one it is. Phew! Here is that image.

We want the name of any country whose flag is

represented in this image.

To help you out, the names of the countries are alphabetical from

top left down to bottom right if that helps you place what the country is.

OK, now...Eric.

Um...

-I'm going to go with Jamaica.

-Jamaica, says Eric.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said Jamaica.

It's right.

That's a solid start. There it is in the second row in the middle.

Jamaica.

Thank you very much. Now then, Nicky.

This is tricky, because there are two that I think I know,

but then other people would probably know those, as well.

It's...

Tricky, tricky, tricky.

Let's go for Norway.

You're going to go for Norway. Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, how many of our 100 people said Norway?

Bad luck, Nicky. That's an incorrect answer.

Scores you the maximum of 100 points.

Red, white and blue, the Norwegian flag, I'm afraid.

OK, thanks very much.

-Dick, I think you're going to be very good on this.

-Right.

I think I will go for Sweden, please.

Sweden, says Dick. Let's see if that's right

and if it is how many of our 100 people said Sweden.

It's right.

100 is our high score, 55 our low

and 70 is our mid score there for Sweden.

APPLAUSE

A big score for Sweden there.

So Nicky's 100 might not be as damaging as it first looked.

Still a chance on that second pass.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

55, the best score of the round.

Eric and Mark looking pretty strong comparatively on that.

Then up to 70 where we find Dick and Alice.

Then to 100, Nicky and Michael.

Not miles in front, as Richard says.

So, Michael, anything could be possible in the next pass.

But it will require a good answer from you. Best of luck.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, we want the name of any country whose flag is represented

in this image. Alice.

-I quite like those flags.

-I like them too.

I like what you've done with the room, I think it's lovely.

Thank you.

There are some, I think I know them.

And then there's a couple, I'm pretty sure about them,

but I think everyone else will know them, as well.

I'm going to take a punt, actually.

I'm fairly sure but I have to go for one

where I'm a little bit nervous

because otherwise I'm going to end up with loads of points.

I'm going to go with South Africa.

OK. South Africa.

There you are on 70.

Michael and Nicky on 100.

If you can score 29 or less,

you won't even become the high scorers.

Let's see if that's going to happen.

South Africa, how many people said that? There's your red line.

It is right.

51.

APPLAUSE

Surprising.

The lowest score so far, in fact.

121 is your total. Very well done.

Well played. Good answer.

There's South Africa on the second row up.

It was supposed to be a temporary flag in 1994

and the South Africans liked it so much, two years later,

they voted it in as their official permanent flag.

Thank you very much.

Michael, you have to score 20 or less.

That's all you have to do and all is forgiven on the Norway front.

Right.

It's the last one I could take a chance on.

-It's a pretty flag.

-It is. It's a sun with a smiley face.

Smiling at me.

I'm going to go with...

..China.

-China.

-Yeah.

-China says Michael. OK, let's see. There is your red line.

You have to get below that red line with China.

Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It is, of course, right.

58 for China.

APPLAUSE

It's too high, I'm afraid. That takes your total up to 158.

Not a bad answer at all in the context of the round,

but just a little bit too much. There it is in the top right.

-Thanks very much. Mark...

-Yes.

-..great news.

You are through to the head-to-head.

-In that case, I'm relaxed.

-Do you want to have a bit of fun?

I knew China was on there,

and I know, because my partner's Spanish,

one of the flags is the Kingdom of Spain.

I have a feeling one of them is another African country

but...I don't know why, but I'm saying Cameroon.

-Cameroon.

-Yes.

-No red line for you but is Cameroon right?

-Bad luck.

-It was worth a stab, wasn't it?

-Yeah.

That scores you 100 and takes your total up to 155

but you are already through. Well done.

Exactly the thing to do.

You knew stuff up there but more fun to go for a pointless one.

It does have yellow in it, Cameroon.

It's red, yellow and green with a yellow star in the middle of it.

But not on our board.

Let's go through all of these.

From the top left,

Bosnia and Herzegovina would have scored you 5.

Then a great flag, Brazil, of course. 71.

There's China. The next row, you've got Guyana.

Would have scored you 4.

We've seen Jamaica already. 10,

Kyrgyzstan.

I like cricket as much as the next man but...

Kyrgyzstan would have scored you 3. This middle row is very tough.

The one on the left is Palau. That would have scored you 4.

Papua New Guinea next to that. That would have scored you 3.

This is a lovely one. It's the Seychelles there.

Which would have scored you 5.

There's South Africa. The next one, it is an African country.

It's the newest of all the African countries. It's South Sudan.

Would have scored you 1.

You're right about Spain. Would have scored 50.

Good score, given the other scores we've got.

Bottom left is Sweden, of course.

Pointless favourite, bottom middle there. That's Tuvalu.

That would have scored you 3.

And the last one there is Uruguay. That would have scored you 14.

Tuvalu, it's very showbiz, isn't it? Tuvalu.

It's the best answer on the board.

What's the one next to Papua New Guinea on the right?

The Seychelles.

We've got that umbrella.

LAUGHTER

There we are. Thank you very much.

At the end of our second round, the pair heading home, with 158 -

very, very close, look at these scores, very close, indeed -

but I'm afraid, Michael and Nicky,

it is you.

What a performance in the first round. You were the class swots.

Thank you so much for playing. Wonderful having you here.

Michael and Nicky, everyone.

APPLAUSE

But, for Alice and Dick and Eric and Mark

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Alice and Dick, Eric and Mark.

You are now one step closer to the final

and our chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So now we have to decide who is going to play for that money

and to do that you are now going to go head-to-head.

But the difference is you are allowed to confer.

The first team to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

It's Coast presenters versus antiques experts.

It's going to be a humdinger.

A proper all-BBC semifinal. Best of luck to both pairs.

Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Here comes your first question and it concerns...

-Is this a music round?

-It is.

-I love these.

We've only had a couple of these before.

This is very exciting.

We're now going to play you five children's TV themes.

You need to tell us the most obscure programme, please.

OK, so let's hear our five children's TV themes.

And here is the first one...

UPBEAT JAZZY MUSIC

OK, and B.

UP-TEMPO ORCHESTRAL MUSIC

C.

STACCATO ACCORDION MUSIC

LAUGHTER

D.

SLOWER RHYTHMIC MUSIC

And E.

HORN-DOMINATED ORCHESTRAL MUSIC

OK, now, Alice and Dick, you played best throughout the show

so far so you will go first.

THEY CONFER

-Can we have A again, please.

-A, again.

UPBEAT JAZZY MUSIC

-Do you recognise that tune?

-Yeah.

And I know what it is and I'm going to go for that one.

It's Inspector Gadget.

Inspector Gadget. Who knows?

Inspector Gadget say Alice and Dick.

I agree.

Eric and Mark.

-Shall we go for E?

-Go for E.

-Black Beauty.

Black Beauty say Eric and Mark.

So, we have Inspector Gadget versus Black Beauty.

Alice and Dick said Inspector Gadget.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

It's right.

Oh, it's good. 26.

APPLAUSE

26 for Inspector Gadget. Eric and Mark have said Black Beauty for E.

Let's see if Black Beauty is right. How many people said it.

It is right.

It's going to have to beat 26 if it's going to win you the points.

Oh, 39.

APPLAUSE

Close.

Quite close.

But well done, Alice and Dick. After one question, you are up 1-0.

Well played.

Shall we listen to a snatch of the other three and I'll tell you what they were? B...

UP-TEMPO ORCHESTRAL MUSIC

Well done if you said this.

It was the Jetsons and it was a pointless answer.

It's a terrific answer if you got that.

C.

STACCATO ACCORDION MUSIC

There's a generation who will get this one.

This is Dogtanian and the Three Muskerhounds.

-I know all the words to that.

-Exactly. It's just the intro.

We didn't put the words on, you see.

Did you ever see the Three Musketeers, the BBC series?

It's what that's based on.

-Oh, I see.

-They decided to do a human version of it.

-Clever, isn't it?

-That is clever.

-4 points for that. And D.

SLOWER RHYTHMIC MUSIC

Everyone knows it. Incredibly low score.

Thomas the Tank Engine.

Would have scored you 19 points.

Would have been a terrific answer.

Thanks very much indeed. That was fun, wasn't it?

Here comes your second question.

Eric and Mark, you get to answer this one first.

But you have to win it to stay in the game, so very best of luck.

Here it comes. It concerns...

We're going to give you the names of five cocktails now.

And then list their ingredients afterwards.

However, one of the ingredients, we've missed out.

You need to tell us what that ingredient is, please.

That's according to the International Bartender's Association.

Thanks very much. Let's reveal our five cocktails and here they come.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Five cocktail lists, with missing ingredients.

OK, Eric and Mark.

I don't know that.

-Creme de Menthe. Shall we go for that?

-We'll do that.

We like that, don't we?

-You might, but we're going to go with Grasshopper.

-Yes.

-And we're going to say...

-Creme de menthe.

Creme de menthe, you're going to say, for Grasshopper.

Creme de menthe.

Alice and Dick, talk us through the rest of the board, if you can.

The Moscow Mule, that looks like ginger beer to me.

And we think Daiquiri is white rum.

-And we know margarita is...

-Tequila.

-Tequila.

-But the sidecar...

What is that?

-Don't know. Which one of those is the best answer?

-I don't know.

What do you think?

Shall we go for the rum? If you're confident with that one?

Why not?

Now that you said, "Are you confident?",

I'm thinking maybe I'm not anymore.

No, I am.

We'll go for white rum in the daiquiri.

White rum in the daiquiri.

So, we have creme de menthe and we have white rum.

Eric and Mark said creme de menthe. Let's see if that is right.

And if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Oh, 68.

APPLAUSE

Alice and Dick, meanwhile have said white rum for the daiquiri.

Let's see if that's right. How do you feel?

-68, do you think you'll beat that?

-No idea.

-Don't know.

Let's find out. White rum.

It's right. You've done it.

Down it goes, 28.

There's your answer.

Very, very well done. Alice and Dick,

after only two questions, you are through to the final 2-0.

Well played.

You chose well, as well, because you knew three of them

and that was the lowest score of the ones you knew.

Because you're right about ginger beer.

That would have scored 46.

You were right about tequila in the Margarita.

That would have scored you 50.

The best answer is the Sidecar which is cognac,

-lemon juice and...

-Triple sec.

Which would have scored 7. Well done if you said that at home.

Well done if you're drinking that at home right now.

Thanks very much, indeed.

The pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head is Eric and Mark.

Nothing wrong with your answers there. Black Beauty was lovely.

Nice to hear Black Beauty.

-Clare Balding had that on her Desert Island Disks.

-Did she?

It was so sweet.

Black Beauty, again, creme de menthe,

nothing wrong with that.

Anyway, Eric and Mark, it's been such a treat having you on the show.

Thank you for coming and playing. Please come and play again.

-Brilliant contestants.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

For Alice and Dick, it's time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Alice and Dick.

You fought off all the competition valiantly

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

-So very well done.

-Trophy.

-Thank you.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

for your charities. At this point in the show, the jackpot stands at...

What a triumph for our team from Coast, Time Team,

It's Not Easy Being Green.

Are you going to be doing more Coast?

-Have you circumnavigated?

-There's more.

What is there, 11,700 miles of British coast.

As always for this round, you get to choose your category.

You have four options, let's see what they are.

Cult Movie Musicals.

That's the only one I think I've got a very slight chance. I don't know.

I know nothing about that one. That's good. Debut Solo Albums.

-Nope, nothing about that one either.

-It would be very limited.

I remember '79.

1979, I remember. I like a good musical.

Should we go for that then? This could be such a bad choice.

OK, we're going for Cult Movie Musicals.

-Yeah.

-Bound to remember something.

-Cult Movie Musicals.

-Good luck.

-So decisive.

Good luck's the phrase. Let's take a look at your three questions here.

We're looking for anyone who was credited as an actor

in the 2007 musical...

According to IMDb, any actor in Sweeney Todd,

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

or The Little Shop of Horrors.

Very best of luck.

OK, now you have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot for your charities

is for one of those answers to be pointless.

Are you ready?

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

Give me an odd one.

Helena Bonham Carter was in Sweeney Todd.

Yes. Might be too common. Who have we got in Rocky Horror?

Um...no, I can't...

I can see them all.

Was Ray Winstone...?

-Was he in Sweeney Todd?

-I don't know.

Little House of Horrors, who do you know?

Little Shop of Horrors.

-Rick Moranis.

-Never heard of him, so we'll go for that, definitely.

We'll go for that one. We'll go...

It comes down to...

Do you remember anyone from Sweeney Todd at all?

-Yeah. Edward Scissorhands. What's his name?

-Johnny Depp.

Helena Bonham Carter is probably less likely than Johnny Depp.

Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter.

What about for the Rocky Horror Show?

-Honestly, that was why I chose that subject.

-10 seconds left.

Tim Rice was in Rocky Horror Show.

He's actually in it? Yeah.

What do I know?

OK, that is your time up.

I now need your three answers.

-Your answer first from the last one is...

-Rick Moranis.

-Rick Moranis from...

-Little Shop of Horrors.

-Sweeney Todd.

-Are we going to go with Johnny Depp?

Helena Bonham Carter. We'll go for both of them, actually.

-We'll have Johnny Depp.

-Johnny Depp.

-Or Helena Bonham Carter.

Helena Bonham Carter from Sweeney Todd.

Of those three, which do you think is your best

-shot at a Pointless answer?

-The one I've never heard of.

Rick Moranis, we shall put last, for Little Shop of Horrors.

Which is your least likely to be pointless?

-Johnny Depp.

-Johnny Depp we'll put first.

Helena Bonham Carter in the middle.

Let's pop those up on the board in that order. And here they are.

Very, very best of luck. That was a tricky round.

-It was, wasn't it?

-Your first answer was Johnny Depp.

This is the one you thought was least likely to be pointless.

But who knows?

If you were to win this jackpot,

what would you be giving your money to?

Which charity are you playing for?

I'd be giving it to For-ethiopia which is a very small charity

which works with one particular town in Ethiopia.

It's focused on providing clean water, education for girls

and also medicine.

So we do things like solar-powered fridges to keep vaccines in.

-Excellent. Dick?

-Prostate Cancer UK.

Movember, men looking after themselves. It's important.

You've had several months working on that.

Every four weeks, I trim it off.

Two excellent charities there, very good, indeed.

APPLAUSE

You've done so well throughout the show.

You deserve to win this money for those charities so fingers crossed.

Your first answer,

Johnny Depp for Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

If it's pointless, you will win that money for your charities.

Let's find out how many people said Johnny Depp for £2,500.

He's in it.

Down it goes.

68 for Johnny Depp. 68.

It's a right answer.

It is definitely a right answer. No arguing with that.

68 people knew that one so not a pointless answer.

Two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your second answer was

Helena Bonham Carter, also for Sweeney Todd.

For £2,500, how many people said Helena Bonham Carter?

Absolutely right. Your first answer stopped at 68.

You've passed that comfortably. Down it goes, through the '30s. 36.

Heading the right way.

APPLAUSE

We are definitely moving in the right direction here.

Everything is now riding on your third and final answer.

This is the one you thought was your best shot at a pointless answer.

And it is Rick Moranis.

Rick Moranis from Little Shop of Horrors.

It has to be right and then it has to be pointless.

For £2,500, was Rick Moranis in Little Shop of Horrors?

Is it pointless?

-It's right.

-That's a great start.

Johnny Depp took us to 68.

Helena Bonham Carter took us all the way down to 36.

-Rick Moranis, 16. I'm sorry.

-Who knew that?

APPLAUSE

Well done. Cracking answer.

You were almost halving it each time.

If we had kept up at that, 15 more questions, we would have been down.

Negative.

I'm sorry to say you didn't find that pointless answer.

You didn't win today's jackpot of £2,500.

But, as it is a celebrity special, we are going to donate £500

to each celebrity pair for their respective charities.

We've loved having you on the show. You've been superb.

You get to take home a Pointless trophy, so very well done.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Three correct answers in there. A very tough question, I have to say.

That's no mean feat. You've been brilliant throughout.

I'm going to go through some of the pointless answers.

I'm sure some people at home will get some of these.

We'll start with...

Anyone apart from Johnny Depp,

Helena Bonham Carter, Sacha Baron Cohen

and Jamie Campbell Bower are the only people who scored any points.

If you knew anyone else in this, you would have won the jackpot.

Let's take a look at the next one.

Again, the only people who scored points,

Barry Bostwick, Nell Campbell, Meatloaf, Susan Sarandon,

Richard O'Brien and Tim Curry,

who I think you were mixing up with Tim Rice

for the obvious food connection.

Finally, Little Shop of Horrors.

Danny John-Jules, who has been on here a few times.

Death In Paradise, Red Dwarf. All sorts of things.

The only people who scored in that were Rick Moranis,

Steve Martin, Levi Stubbs,

Bill Murray, Vincent Gardenia and Ellen Greene.

Well done if you got a pointless answer at home.

-You played brilliantly throughout.

-Thank you.

-Thanks for having us.

Thanks, Richard. We have to say goodbye to you, Alice and Dick.

It's been wonderful having you on the show.

-Thank you for playing so well. Alice and Dick, everyone.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time,

when we'll put more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE