Theatrical Pointless Celebrities

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to

this special theatrical edition of Pointless Celebrities,

the show where the aim of the game is to avoid the obvious

and find the obscure.

Let's meet today's Pointless celebrities.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Hello, I'm Clive Mantle and I'm the youngest of the long,

grey-haired juvenile leads on the show tonight.

Hi, I'm Connie Fisher.

I'm a musical theatre actress,

best known for playing Maria in The Sound of Music.

And couple number two.

Hello, I'm Les Dennis, and I have just finished playing King Arthur

in Monty Python's Spamalot, so consequently, I look down on him.

I'm Warwick Davis. I play Patsy, his manservant.

I know my place.

And couple number three.

Hello, I'm David Bradley, and I'm currently available for panto.

LAUGHTER

Hello, I'm Simon Williams.

I'm playing the part of Simon Williams tonight,

best known for playing Captain James in Upstairs, Downstairs.

A long time ago.

And finally, couple number four.

I'm Bill Kenwright, I'm a theatre and film producer

and I support the team that plays in blue and white in Liverpool.

Everton.

Hello, I'm Jenny Seagrove, I'm an actress.

I run the charity I'm trying to raise money for

and I'm an Everton supporter!

And these are today's contestants. Thanks, all of you.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show

as it goes along, so that just leaves one more person

for me to introduce - a man so clever,

he understood the end of Lost.

If there's a more obscure reference than that today,

he's bound to be impressed.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody. CHEERING

-Hiya. Good evening.

-Good evening to you.

-This is fun.

-Isn't it?!

But more importantly, not just fun,

I think there's a proper business proposition for us this evening.

-Oh, yeah?

-We talk a lot about doing a Pointless film.

We talk about that a lot, and Denzel Washington's

-going to play me and various people are up for your role, but...

-Yeah.

..we've got Bill Kenwright here,

who's one of the greatest producers in West End history.

I'm going to call him an impresario.

-That all right? You mind if I call you that?

-That's good, yeah.

What about Pointless, The Musical?

Don't you think? In the West End?

We did talk about this with Sir Tim Rice when he was on.

He's going to write it, but he's not going to put it on.

We need someone who's going to produce the thing.

-Exactly.

-Tim Rice writing it, Bill producing it.

You and I can do the music. Ahem...

-We'd be good doing the music.

-We would be ace. Yeah.

You could play you, cos you're a good singer.

-Or Hugh Bonneville could. I know he's available.

-That's better.

Hugh Bonneville as you. Les or Warwick as me.

LAUGHTER

I think we've got a little hit on our hands, don't you?

I think we have certainly got something on our hands. Yes.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

We've asked every question on Pointless

to 100 people before the show.

As ever, the aim of the game is to find a pointless answer,

that being an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

As today's show is a celebrity special,

and each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity,

we start off with a jackpot of £2,500.

There we are.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, remember, the pair with the highest score will be eliminated

at the end of the round and there is to be no conferring.

Our first category today is...

Words. Can you decide in your pairs who will go first and second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could.

Words ending in A-I-L. Richard.

We're looking for any word that has its own entry

in the Oxford Dictionary of English which ends A-I-L.

Please, as always, no hyphenated words or abbreviations,

or proper nouns, anything like that.

Just any word ending in A-I-L.

There are plenty on the list, so very, very best of luck.

Connie and Clive, you all drew lots before the show

and today, you're going to go first.

Connie, welcome to Pointless.

It's lovely to have you here.

I suppose most people know you from

The Sound of Music, playing Maria.

And that was seven years ago, when I won the show.

Get out of town! Seven years?

-I've got grey hairs now!

-You have not!

You've strayed into television.

You've been on Casualty, haven't you?

I have, I was on Casualty last year, playing Amanda.

And that was great fun.

I returned, and then she went to live in the Wirral.

How did you find it? Compared to being on stage, what's it like?

-It's so different...

-It's a doss, isn't it?

Telly acting, I mean, really.

I trained as a musical theatre actress

at Mountview Academy in London,

and working on TV was a whole new world,

so it's a real skill in itself.

But I now also run the Connie Fisher Academy, for musical theatre,

so that's quite a new venture for me, as well. So I'm also a teacher!

-Very exciting! How many people have you got?

-Gosh, about 30 in April,

around Easter, and then in the summer, as well.

OK, now, Connie, we need a word ending A-I-L.

Wow, OK. All of a sudden, I get on here and I can't spell.

Curtail.

What a lovely answer.

Oh, she's good. Connie said curtail.

Let's see if it's right. If it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said curtail.

Oh, it's right!

It's right. That's the first thing I should have said.

Well done for that.

But look at it. Down it goes!

Still going down. Wow!

Well done!

Seven for curtail, Connie.

Very well played, Connie.

Curtail, as in, "The Pointless Musical was curtailed

"after three performances due to poor ticket sales."

LAUGHTER

Now, Les and Warwick, who wants to go first?

I'm going to go first.

You're going to go first.

You've just, literally just, finished being the King...

-We finished last week.

-Wow!

I finished playing King Arthur and had a great time with Warwick.

-Didn't we have a good time?

-We did. Best job I've ever had, I think.

Yeah. It's just a joy to do, such a great show to do.

Then your other great triumph this year,

you were runner-up in Celebrity MasterChef.

-I was, absolutely.

-You were so good in that.

Thank you! Eventually! I started off badly,

with the bread-and-butter pudding, but I got better.

Now, Les, words ending A-I-L.

Yeah. I've got a couple, but I'm going to risk it, because I know

this is a French word, but I think it is an English word as well.

Travail.

Travail, says Les. Let's see if it's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said travail.

It is right. Very well done, Les.

Well, Connie scored seven, with curtail.

Travail passes at six!

Great score, Les.

Yeah, to engage in painful or laborious effort is travail.

Much as Act Three of

Pointless The Musical might be described.

Yeah, it drags a little at the moment, doesn't it?

-Yeah, don't worry.

-But, yeah, terrific start.

Six and seven on those first two podiums.

-Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Now, Simon.

-Hello.

-Welcome.

Welcome back, I should say, to Pointless. You were on last time.

-You didn't cover yourself in glory last time.

-I was robbed!

-LAUGHTER

-I was playing with Colin Baker,

who didn't really serve...

No, I messed up. I messed up. It has to be faced.

Most recently been on stage in Chariots Of Fire.

Not running, I have to...

No, you were the Master of Caius College.

A more sedate role. When did that finish?

That finished earlier in the year

and it was the happiest company ever.

You couldn't believe it, to have 20 people running round

the old theatre, the old Gielgud, it was wonderful.

-Now, then, Simon.

-Yes.

-We want an answer from you. Look at the scores.

They're tending in a direction. It's down. Seven, six, and then you.

Yes.

I want to go with avail.

Avail, says Simon.

OK, let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said avail.

It's right!

Seven! Well done, Simon.

There or thereabouts.

Seven, pretty good.

Very well played, Simon.

Yeah, as in, "We'll draw 'avail' over the reviews

"for the first night of Pointless The Musical."

-Yeah.

-No, not that avail at all.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, Jenny,

one of our most acclaimed theatre actresses.

-You are a stalwart of the West End.

-I love it.

It all started off with Local Hero. What an excellent film that was.

It was also joyous to make. Absolutely joyous.

Beautiful film to make.

-How long were you based up there?

-Oh, a couple of months.

-Couple of months.

-But one of the scenes was so cold,

I had to reshoot it, cos I came out blue. Yeah.

-Only in one scene?

-I was swimming in the North Atlantic in May

and we had to literally reshoot cos I was blue with cold.

When you came out blue, was that the first time Bill thought,

-"Hang on a minute..."?

-Probably, yes. Probably.

"There's an Evertonian here!"

Now then, Jenny, A-I-L.

A word ending A-I-L.

OK, it's a risk, because it might not be allowed.

But if it is allowed, it might be a good one,

so I'm going to go Shakespearean

-and say wassail.

-Wassail.

Let's find out if wassail is correct

and let's see how many people said it.

-Look at that.

-Made me wait for it.

Well, six is our lowest score so far,

with travail.

Eight for wassail!

Aww!

Eight for wassail.

Yeah, it's essentially a spiced wine, or spiced ale.

Thanks very much indeed.

Halfway through the round, let's look at the scores.

The best score of that pass was yours, Les. Very well done.

Six, putting you and Warwick in

a very strong position

at this stage. Up to seven,

where we find Connie, Clive and Simon and David.

Then, eight, where we find Jenny and Bill.

Bill, you don't need me to tell you, it's very close.

We need a nice low score from you, if you're to survive.

We'll come back down the line.

Second players, please step up to the podium.

OK, now, Bill. We are looking for words ending in A-I-L.

But before that, shall we take a trip down memory lane?

I did a play for Bill, what, 11 years ago?

I think it got the worst reviews...

In history!

-..I have literally ever, ever seen.

-Really? What was it?

It was in the Evening Standard...

Yeah, he didn't like it, did he?

..and it started off with,

"This is possibly my worst experience ever in the theatre."

And then it went downhill from there, didn't it?

Oh, that was the nice bit.

-Was it your West End debut?

-It was!

It was my West End debut. Yes. And, so far, my only West End appearance.

But...

Until Pointless, The Musical, Bill.

I remember Bill coming to our dressing room,

telling us about this new youngster he'd found called Wayne Rooney.

-That was exciting.

-Absolutely right.

-Ten years ago.

-Very exciting indeed.

Now he's in Sound of Music, isn't he? He's very good.

-LAUGHTER

-As Liesl.

-Yeah.

-He's terrific.

-Now, Bill, what will you go for?

Can I think aloud?

-No, cos you'll give answers away to other people.

-Um...

-Derail.

-Derail. No red line for you,

as you are the high scorers. Let's hope derail

goes down as far as possible.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said derail.

It's right.

Not bad at all, Bill! Ten!

Ten takes your total

up to 18.

A train or tram leaving the tracks accidentally.

-Very well played.

-Thanks very much, indeed.

Now, David, welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here.

Now, you have a CV that is just... When I go back and

show my kids, they're going to be so impressed.

Obviously, we've got Broadchurch, Harry Potter,

World's End, Hot Fuzz, Game of Thrones.

And, of course, an acclaimed theatre actor, as well.

Which do you prefer? Theatre or telly or film?

Well, I like the variation.

I'm enjoying doing more screen work, lately,

but I think most actors would say

they prefer what we call... shouting in the evenings.

LAUGHTER

And the most fun is playing a variety of characters.

The fact that I play them all the same is beside the point.

LAUGHTER

But it is the variety and the tragicomic roles which are the best.

Very good. Now, David, we can't put the moment off any further.

We need a word ending A-I-L.

It's been a very low scoring round,

but we have a high scorer.

Bill and Jenny are our high scorers over there on 18.

If you can score ten or less,

you are definitely through to the next round.

I'm going to have a go at...

entrail.

Entrail.

Entrail, says David. There's your red line, David.

If you get below that with entrail,

you're through to the next round, for sure.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said entrail.

Surely?

I'm really sorry. I have no idea why,

but I'm really sorry.

100 points. Richard, why?

One of those rare words

that only exists as a plural. Entrails, I'm afraid.

-Oh!

-You wouldn't think it, would you?

-Oh, no.

-Isn't that extraordinary?

-BILL:

-That's horrible.

-Oh, that's horrible.

-JENNY:

-Can we start again, please?

That's eviscerating, isn't it?

-Wow!

-That's awful.

OK, now, Warwick...

-Yes.

-Welcome to the show.

So were you in Spamalot exactly the same amount of time as Les,

or were you when it a bit longer? Did you overlap?

I was in it slightly less time than Les was. But, yeah,

I had a ball, actually. It was my West End debut.

And I just absolutely loved it.

The audiences were fantastic.

We just had fantastic material anyway in the show.

Monty Python have written such great stuff.

And I hadn't really done any singing on stage, either.

So I was a little out of my comfort zone.

How was the voice? Did you find you were battling it, or...?

I worked with a great MD, who had faith in me.

I was like, "I'm not a singer." He was like, "You can do it."

And if you have that confidence, that's all you need.

If you just go out there and take that leap of faith and do it,

-you can surprise yourself.

-Wonderful. Listen, Warwick,

-words ending A-I-L.

-I'm going to go with something

-fairly appropriate to Les and I at the moment. Grail.

-Ah!

-Grail.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people...

No red line for you, as you're already through.

It's right.

16.

16 takes your total up to 22,

-but you were through anyhow. Well done.

-Well played.

As in the Holy Grail, and it's come to mean

something which is eagerly pursued.

Clive. Clive.

Welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here.

An award-winning...

Actually, Lennie in Of Mice and Men,

it's quite a good part to play to get awards.

It is, yeah. Most people who play it

get an award of some sort or another, yes.

It was early on in my career.

1984. It's a long time ago.

It's all been downhill since then, I'm afraid!

Well, you've been in The Ladykillers most recently.

Yes. On stage, most recently in The Ladykillers, yeah.

Anyhow, Clive, the great news is,

you have to score 99 or less to stay in the game.

I think you might just do that.

-OK, I'm going to go obvious with snail.

-Snail.

Let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many people said snail.

There's your red line.

There we are. Very well done.

Through you go to Round Two.

19!

19 takes your total up to 26.

Yes, took it very safely there at the end. Very well done.

There's lots of pointless answers out there.

There's lots of well-known words that are pointless answers.

-What was your...?

-Taffrail.

-OK. Would have scored you one point.

-No!

-Yeah.

-Really?

-Taffrail?

Taffrail. Lots of pointless answers, and lots of them

are the ones that are two words together.

Let's take a look at a few of them.

Fantail would have been a pointless answer.

Handrail, I didn't do, because I went for taffrail instead!

I thought handrail would be much more obvious.

I think people think handrail is two words.

But it's not. Hightail would have been a pointless answer.

Hobnail is a pointless answer.

Mocktail, which is what squirrel bullies do...

You could have had outsail,

would have been a pointless answer.

Pigtail is a pointless answer.

Thumbnail and voicemail, as well.

I thought of pigtail. I didn't do it,

cos I thought it had a hyphen.

It's a risky one to go for, isn't it?

If you needed a pointless answer,

it might have been one to go for.

There's a few others that were pointless.

You could have had doornail, you could have had ducktail,

foxtail, horntail, you could have had.

Webmail, swallowtail, springtail.

But I have to say, entrail seems enormously unlucky to me.

-Cruel, cruel.

-Bad luck.

-If ever there's a situation

where someone has got to come back on the show, it's that.

I'm not having that being your only appearance. It's unacceptable.

-Absolutely unacceptable.

-You're on.

-Definitely got to come back.

Well, thanks very much indeed, Richard.

The pair leaving us at the end of the first round,

with the high score - not that high - of 107,

I'm afraid it's David and Simon.

-Oh, Simon again!

-Again!

What is it with you?!

It's you who's put the mockers on it!

Oh, dear. I'm so sorry.

You'll just have to come back.

It's been wonderful having you on the show.

Thank you for playing. David and Simon!

CHEERING

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

So three pairs remain.

Sadly, we'll have to say goodbye to another pair

at the end of this round.

I wouldn't like to say which pair that's going to be.

Do you know, we've played so many words rounds.

I don't think we've ever had

such a consistently low scoring round.

Very well done.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for Round Two is...

Fictional Characters.

Can you all decide in your pairs who'll go first, who'll go second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Forbes Fictional 15 Rich List.

Don't panic. Don't panic.

Forbes magazine, every year, they do lots of rich lists.

They do richest people in sport, richest people in television.

One thing they also do, just for a bit of fun, they work out

who would be the richest fictional character there's ever been.

Characters from novels, films, TV, that sort of thing.

We'll just show you six descriptions of

fictional characters on each pass, of someone who's been on that list.

You just have to tell us who fits that description, please.

It's going to be six on each pass, 12 in all to have a go at at home.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Remember, we're looking for the characters on the

Forbes Fictional 15 Rich List, described by these clues.

Here's our first board of six...

I will read those again, and I promise it'll be quicker.

There we are.

Six characters who feature in the Forbes Fictional 15 Rich List.

Clive. Over to you. That's quite fun, isn't it?

It is fun. Sadly, I only know two of them,

and they're the most obvious ones.

So I'm going to go with

second from bottom,

Gene Hackman played Lex Luthor.

Lex Luthor, says Clive. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Lex Luthor.

It's right.

53.

Well, we'll discover how good a score that is. 53 for Lex Luthor.

Yeah, Lex Luthor, worth 4.7 billion, apparently,

due to his many investments in new technologies.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Warwick.

-Yes.

What do you make of the board, Warwick?

There's some obvious ones, to me,

but then...are they the obvious ones to the 100 people you asked?

I don't think that people will know his full name,

so I'm going to go for the character played by Robert Downey Jr.

Tony Stark.

Tony Stark. I think this is going to be a good score, Warwick.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Tony Stark.

It's right.

Passes 53.

23. Very well done.

Well played, Warwick. He's got a net worth of 8.8 billion.

Firstly, from arms manufacturing, and then from energy projects.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Jenny,

you're the last person to have this board.

If you wanted, you could talk us through it and fill in the blanks.

No, no, no!

My brain knows the top answer,

but it won't bring it to me.

I'm really sorry, the only one I know is the most obvious one

and it's going to get us a shedload of points,

but I've got to say it, and it's Cruella de Vil.

Cruella de Vil. And that's...

I have to ask you, which one is that?

-That's the Disney movie.

-Indeed.

Sorry, Bill. Sorry.

101 Dalmatians, Cruella de Vil, says Jenny.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Cruella de Vil.

At least it's right.

62. Not bad.

Not bad at all, Jenny. 62 for Cruella de Vil.

Not a terrible score. She's got a net worth of

875 million, Cruella de Vil.

Let's fill in the rest of this board.

Jenny, I think you do know the top one...

-I can't think of it.

-Exactly.

-It's Jay Gatsby...

-Thank you.

-..from The Great Gatsby.

And that would have scored you 12 points.

The Springfield Power Plant owner?

-Montgomery Burns.

-It is.

Charles Montgomery Burns, C Montgomery Burns.

Montgomery Burns. 17 points.

And there's a pointless answer there.

The wealthy protector who features in the comic strip Little Orphan Annie?

-BILL:

-Daddy Warbucks.

What's his name, though? Full name. OW, we're looking for.

Owen?

It's Oliver Warbucks.

Oliver Warbucks.

Very, very well done if you said that at home.

Thanks. We're halfway through the round. Let's look at the scores.

23, the best score of that pass.

Well done, Les and Warwick,

looking pretty strong.

Then up to 53, Clive and Connie.

And you're not that far in front, Jenny. Only nine points ahead.

Jenny and Bill on 62.

So, Bill, another low score from you

-will be enough to keep you in the game.

-Entrail.

LAUGHTER

Best of luck with that. We'll come back down the line.

Second players, please take your places at the podium.

Let's put six more clues up on the board, and here they are.

We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Bill, remember, we are looking for the character

described by these clues, and you're going to try and find

the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

You're the high scorers, on 62.

I think you probably know all of those, don't you?

I know most of them, and I know the one I think

will be the lowest score.

But I'm going to go for Michael Douglas.

-And that was Gordon Gekko.

-Gordon Gekko, says Bill.

No red line for you,

as you're the high scorers.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Gordon Gekko.

23. Well done, Bill.

23. Takes your total up to 85.

Well played, Bill. Very strong answer there.

He's worth 650 million, thanks to investments

and his marriage to the daughter of a billionaire.

Thanks very much. Now, Les.

-Yes.

-We have a high score, which is 85.

You want to score 61 or less

-to get through to the head-to-head.

-OK.

I know three of them.

So I'm going to go for...

the dragon that JRR Tolkien

created in The Hobbit.

Smaug.

Smaug, says Les. Smaug. There's your red line.

If you get below that, you are in the head-to-head.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Smaug.

It's right...

You've done it! Very well done.

Oh, it's a good answer. 11!

Look at that! Les, very well done.

Les, 11 takes you up to 34.

Well played, Les.

Les and Warwick are good, aren't they? That was a very good answer.

He's worth 54.1 billion.

-Point one?

-Yeah. Largely as a result

of marauding and stealing. LAUGHTER

-That's where his fortune comes from, apparently.

-OK.

Thanks very much. Connie, 85 is the high score. You are on 53.

So 31 or less. 31...

-Listen, Smaug, 11.

-That was awesome.

-Talk us through the board.

Well, I've never seen Flash Gordon.

Obviously, Willy Wonka will score really highly, I think.

So I'm going to go...

Cos I'm not sure who you've asked, these 100 people.

So they probably don't all watch video games.

So they might not want to watch that film.

So I'm going to go Lara Croft.

Lara Croft, says Connie. OK.

There's your red line.

Lara Croft has to get you below that red line.

Let's find out how many of our 100 people said Lara Croft.

It's right.

Still going down... Oh, no! 44.

-Sorry.

-I'm sorry, Connie. 44 takes your total

up to 97.

Sorry, Connie. It was good logic, though.

But, yeah, plenty of people knew Lara Croft.

Let's take a look at the rest of these.

You were right about Willy Wonka, Connie.

He would have scored you 66, though.

So wouldn't have seen you through.

The Emperor of the planet Mongo, anybody?

Ming the Merciless.

Ming the Merciless. Ming the Merciless.

Would have scored you 18.

The best answer there is the father-in-law of Peter Griffin,

who is Carter Pewterschmidt.

No chance.

Very well done if you said Carter Pewterschmidt at home.

Two points. On this list, we've seen some very rich people,

Smaug being the richest we've seen.

Who do you think was top, the richest ever character?

King Midas. That's a rubbish answer.

-He was real, of course.

-Yeah.

LAUGHTER

It was, with a wealth of infinity,

-it was Father Christmas.

-Aww!

It couldn't happen to a nicer fictional character.

See, that's where I take objection to it.

Because he's not fictional.

Oh, we know he's real.

Well, we do know he's real, because

he delivers presents to every child...

-Exactly.

-..in the world.

-Exactly.

-If that's not real, what is?

-What is?

-There.

Thanks very much indeed.

So, at the end of our second round, I'm afraid the pair leaving us,

with the not that high score, but the highest score of 97,

-it's Connie and Clive.

-Never mind.

# Connie and Clive... # That's good, isn't it?

It's been lovely having you on the show.

I'm really sorry. Far too soon to be sending you away.

But promise us you'll come back.

-Love to.

-Thank you very much.

-Please do. Thanks so much.

Connie and Clive! Lovely contestants.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Les, Warwick, Bill and Jenny.

You're one step closer to the final and the chance to play for

the jackpot, which currently stands at...

-There we are.

-AUDIENCE:

-Woo!

Now, we have to decide who will go through to the final and play

for that money, and to do that, you will now go head-to-head.

But the big difference is, you are now allowed to confer.

And the first pair to win two questions

will be playing for that jackpot. Best of luck to both players.

Let's play the head-to-head!

OK, here comes your first question.

And it concerns...

Screen Kisses. Richard.

We're going to show you five images now of on-screen kisses.

You have to tell us which films they are from, please.

Very best of luck.

OK, let's reveal our five images, and here they come. We have got...

There we are. Five screen kisses.

Les and Warwick, you've played best

throughout the show so far,

-so you will go first.

-OK.

-What do you think?

You're very good at this, Les,

you are. But which one...

-Remember to confer as quietly as possible.

-OK.

-I'm not going to say any answers.

-OK, good.

(D might be Move Over, Darling.)

We only have to say

-the name of the film.

-Yeah.

I'm going to go for D,

Move Over, Darling.

Move Over, Darling,

say Les and Warwick, for D.

Bill and Jenny, the board is yours. Talk us through it.

-BILL:

-First one is Shirley Anne Field

and Michael Caine in Alfie.

Second one, I think,

is Leonardo DiCaprio

and Claire Danes

in Romeo + Juliet.

I think D is Pillow Talk.

And E is definitely The Graduate.

We're both on D. But either way,

if it's Move Over, Darling, they've got it wrong, we win anyway.

-That's true.

-So you could say we could play safe...

-Oh, that's true.

That's very true.

Yeah. We'll go safe, then.

Shirley Anne Field

and Michael Caine in Alfie.

A - Alfie.

So, Warwick and Les started by saying that

D was Move Over, Darling. Let's find out if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many people said Move Over, Darling.

-Oh!

-Oh, bad luck, Les.

Now, Bill and Jenny,

all you have to be is correct with your answer of A - Alfie.

Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Alfie.

Is it correct? That's the key one.

It IS correct! Very well done. You win the point.

Oh, that's low! Eight!

Well done, Bill and Jenny. After one question, you are up 1-0.

Yeah, very well played. Tactically very well played, as well.

If you had said Pillow Talk for D,

that was right. Would have scored four points.

A terrific answer. But Jenny was right.

There's nothing to be gained from going for it.

That's Doris Day and Rock Hudson, of course.

B is Claire Danes and Leonardo DiCaprio,

as you said, in Romeo + Juliet.

Slightly bigger score for that, though.

34 points.

Let's go down to E. I think

you knew that one, as well.

That's The Graduate.

Anne Bancroft and Dustin Hoffman.

Not that many, actually.

Would have scored you 19 points.

People didn't do brilliantly on this, out of our 100.

Now, C, a film about John Keats and Fanny Brawne, and it was Bright Star.

It was a pointless answer.

Very well done to anybody

who said that at home.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So here comes your second question.

Les and Warwick, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

Very best of luck.

But Bill and Jenny will get to answer first this time.

It concerns...

CONTESTANTS LAUGH

Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals. Richard.

It's all very showbizzy this evening,

-isn't it, for our theatrical special?

-Yeah.

-How about this?

We're about to show you five titles of Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals,

but we'll only show you the number of letters in each word.

So you'll see five titles of Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals,

but just the number of letters in each word.

Can you work out which is which? Best of luck.

Thank you very much indeed.

So let's reveal our five clues to Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals...

I'll read those all one last time.

Bill and Jenny, you will go first this time.

-Phantom of the Opera.

-Yeah.

Joseph's not there.

Evita's not there...

Oh, oh, brain!

Everyone's going to know

-Phantom of the Opera.

-Yeah. OK.

We'll go for three,

which is Sunset Boulevard.

Sunset Boulevard, say Bill and Jenny. Sunset Boulevard.

Now, Warwick, was that the one

-you were going to say?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, it was.

And the other one we know is much more obvious than that.

-You can talk us through them, if you like.

-Yeah, we only know

one more at the moment,

which I think a lot of people would have thought of.

The first one, I'm trying to think of

words that have two letters.

-Yeah, that's hard, isn't it?

-There's not many.

So it should be easy, really, shouldn't it?

-Yeah, I don't think we know.

-Two, then.

The Phantom of the Opera.

The Phantom of the Opera, say Les and Warwick.

So, Sunset Boulevard

versus Phantom of the Opera. Bill and Jenny went with

Sunset Boulevard. Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

Well, it's right.

Wow, six! Look at that!

APPLAUSE

-LES:

-Well done.

Judging how hard we found it,

that may not even be the lowest score on the board.

But, anyway, let's find out what Les and Warwick score

for Phantom of the Opera. The Phantom of the Opera.

It's right.

-Stop soon.

-Oh, look at that! 46.

Well, very well done, Bill and Jenny.

After only two questions, you're through to the final, 2-0.

Yes, very well played. Let's fill in the rest of this board, though.

Bill and Jenny, do you know any more of those?

-Evita.

-Evita is the one with five, yes.

That would have scored you 27 points. Do you know the bottom one?

The obvious ones, like Love Never Dies, isn't there, Joseph.

Jesus Christ Superstar...

-Jesus Christ Superstar!

-Jesus Christ Superstar

is the bottom one. 5, 6, 9.

That would have scored you 19 points.

Now, the top one is a pointless answer. I got this only cos

-we've done Andrew Lloyd Webber before.

-By Jeeves?

By Jeeves is the right answer, Jenny. Well played.

It's a shame for Les and Warwick, they were great.

I was just thinking, if only Les and Warwick

knew a song about staying optimistic in the face of defeat!

LAUGHTER

Shall we sing it?

-I don't know.

-BILL:

-Go on!

-We will, then.

-LES:

-Five, six...

# Always look on the bright side of life... #

WHISTLING

# ..Always look on the right side of life... #

WHISTLING

# ..If life seems jolly rotten

# Then that's all we're doing. #

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

CHEERING

Oh, Les and Warwick, you have played so well!

You have played a blinder the whole way through the show.

Lovely low scoring right from the off.

It has been such a pleasure having you here.

I'm so sorry we have to send you home now.

You were so close. You were our lowest scoring pair as well.

Come back and play again, please. It's been such a pleasure.

-Les and Warwick, wonderful contestants.

-Thank you.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

But for Bill and Jenny, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Well, congratulations, Bill and Jenny.

You've fought off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

-Thrilled.

-I don't quite know how we got here!

Well, you now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

for your nominated charities. At the end of today's show,

the jackpot stands at £2,500.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Very, very best of luck. I'm not going to ask you what...

Because there are lots of different areas that you both specialise in.

As always, you will kick this round off by choosing the category

you are going to be quizzed on.

Here are your four options. They are...

I wouldn't know Belgium, other than Romelu Lukaku,

who is the Belgian centre forward.

Monty Python would be a stretch for me,

although I did co-produce Spamalot. Sporting Finals...

If it is 1966... I'm not talking about

when England won the World Cup, I'm talking about

when Everton beat Sheffield Wednesday 3-2 in the FA Cup final,

after being two goals down, with 23 minutes to go, and we won 3-2.

-Mike Trebilcock scored two goals for us...

-Yeah. OK.

-There is an issue of the schedule, Bill!

-Do you know what?

I think we're going to go for Singers Called Michael.

Singers Called Michael. OK. Best of luck. Richard.

OK, we are looking for any UK chart hit

by any of the following Michaels, please.

We are looking for any UK top 75 hit by...

So any UK top 75 single by Michael Ball, Michael Buble,

or Michael Bolton, leading up to October 2013.

Very, very best of luck.

OK. As always, you've got up to a minute to come up with three answers

and to win that jackpot of £2,500 for your charities,

just one of those answers has to be pointless.

The answers you give can come from any of these categories.

How you spread them across the categories is entirely up to you.

They could be all from the same category.

They could all be Buble, or all be Bolton, or one Ball, one Bolton...

You get the idea. Are you ready?

-Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

Your time starts now.

If only there were hits by Michael Holliday in the 1950s,

we would have been quids in.

Michael Ball, I love him,

but did he have any other hits other than Love Changes Everything?

Michael Buble was Save The Last Dance For Me,

which was brilliant, a single by him.

And Michael Bolton...

Oh... Did Michael Ball record Help Yourself,

which he starts his act with?

You notice there's no conferring, because I don't know any of those.

Did he record anything else from any other musicals?

He did one quite recently.

But did he get in the charts?

Oh, oh, oh... Written by Leslie Bricusse and Andrew, called...

Ten seconds left.

Oh... The Perfect Song.

I bet that got into the charts.

-Do you want to go for it?

-Yes.

-OK, your time is now up.

That was good timing.

I now need your three answers. What are you going to give me?

-The Perfect Song...

-The Perfect Song.

-..because it was a single.

-How Can I Live Without You...

-How Can I Live Without You.

-..by Michael Bolton, but that was a hit, so...

-One more.

What's the most obscure one?

There's one that Roy Orbison sang

and it was covered by Michael Bolton.

What was it? What was it?

I'm going to go for Save The Last Dance For Me, Michael Buble.

Save The Last Dance For Me, from Michael Buble.

So we've got one from each of them.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

I think Perfect Song is either a yes or a no.

-It either got into the charts or it didn't.

-OK, we'll put that third.

What is your least likely to be pointless?

The least likely is Michael Bolton, because it was a big hit.

How Can I Live Without You. We'll pop that first.

Let's put those up in the board in that order and here they are.

We have got...

Three good-looking answers up there.

I don't think Save The Last Dance was a single.

OK, well, very best of luck.

Your first answer was How Can I Live Without You.

You thought this was your least likely to win the jackpot.

If you do win the jackpot with one of these answers,

what are your charities?

Mine is the Teenage Cancer Trust, which is a wonderful charity,

set up my doctor, Adrian Whiteson, and his wife Myrna 20-odd years ago

when they found that young teenagers, youngsters,

were put into any ward with cancer, with middle-aged people,

with elderly people, and they recognised the need

and they set up this wonderful charity where hospitals give

a newly built place to the teenagers, to coexist with

each other and share their illness and their problem

-and hopefully their happiness at the breakthrough.

-Very good.

APPLAUSE

-And, Jenny?

-My charity is Mane Chance Sanctuary.

We are only two years old

and we rescue horses who are being abandoned in their thousands.

And we have got them at a sanctuary near Guildford

and we look after them, re-home some of them, and we also,

because some of them are beautiful and gentle, bring in some very

sick children and some very disabled children so that they can interact.

-It's breathtaking.

-Wonderful.

-APPLAUSE

Two excellent charities there. Very best of luck.

Let's hope at least one of those answers behind me is pointless

and you can win that jackpot for those charities.

The first answer you gave was How Can I Live Without You.

In that case, it's a Michael Bolton song.

Remember, only one of these has to be pointless.

Let's find out. Michael Bolton, How Can I Live Without You.

Is that right, and if it is, how many people said it? For £2,500.

Oh! Oh, maybe it's...

We're very particular about the titling of these.

They have to be absolutely right. Maybe there was something in

the wording of the title. Unfortunately, an incorrect answer,

not a pointless answer. Mind you, you would have been surprised

-if that had been pointless.

-Yes.

Let's not shed too many tears. I think we're going to be all right.

Two more chances to win today's jackpot.

Your next answer was Save The Last Dance For Me.

In this case, it's a Michael Buble song.

You're not entirely sure if it's a single.

No, I think it's an album track. A great album track.

OK, let's find out. It has to be correct,

then it has to be pointless for you to win the jackpot.

For £2,500, let's see if Save The Last Dance For Me

was a Michael Buble single.

No!

-I don't care.

-It's all riding on the last one.

-Eggs in one basket.

And this is the basket you would like to put all your eggs in.

This is Andrew's basket, isn't it?

This is Andrew and Leslie Bricusse's basket.

I'm quite excited about this.

I'd imagine that's quite a smart basket. Well, it's The Perfect Song.

Is it the perfect answer?

You say this is a Michael Ball single. It has to be that

for you to win the jackpot. It also has to be pointless.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Perfect Song.

-No!

-AUDIENCE: Aw!

-Oh, no, Bill!

-APPLAUSE

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Perfect Love Song?

Unfortunately, you didn't manage to find that all-important

pointless answer, which means you don't win

today's jackpot of £2,500.

However, as it is a celebrity special, we are going to donate

£500 to each celebrity pair for their respective charities.

We have loved having you on the show.

You've done such a great job. You do get to take home

a Pointless trophy each, so there you are.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Not completely empty-handed.

APPLAUSE

I'll tell you what,

that is a very harsh three wrong answers,

because they are all good answers.

They're all wrong for different reasons.

The Perfect Song, you told us everything right about it,

but it didn't make the top 75. That's really tough luck.

Save The Last Dance For Me wasn't released over here either.

Just released in the States. And it was

How Am I Supposed To Live Without You. Michael Bolton.

It would have scored you four points anyway.

Hard to fit into the chorus, but that's what he called it.

How Am I Supposed To Live Without You.

Michael Bolton did have a hit with a Roy Orbison song,

A Love So Beautiful. And it was a pointless answer, as well.

-Oh!

-Really, really sorry about that. Let's take a look...

I produced The Roy Orbison Story and I watched him sing it every night.

-And that's what the brain does.

-It really does. It's exactly right

and you really went for it as well. It's exactly the right thing to do.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers.

Michael Ball chart singles.

From Here To Eternity.

One Step Out Of Time, which was his Eurovision entry.

A cover of Labi Siffre's Something Inside So Strong.

And there's an answer you gave earlier,

which you could have held over.

You also could have had - If I Can Dream, The First Man You Remember,

The Lovers We Were, by Michael Ball.

Let's take a look now at Michael Buble.

Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) would have been a pointless answer.

Hold On. It Had Better Be Tonight.

All of those pointless.

Well done if you said any of those at home.

And Michael Bolton, a couple of big hits here.

Can I Touch You... There?

was a pointless answer.

His cover of Lean On Me,

Love Is A Wonderful Thing.

Reach Out I'll Be There, also a pointless answer.

And as I say, A Love So Beautiful also a pointless answer.

You played terrifically throughout.

It's very, very unlucky in that final round.

-It's been lovely to have you here.

-Thank you.

Thanks. Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye, Bill and Jenny,

but we've loved having you on the show.

You have been fantastic the whole way through.

Thank you so much for playing, Bill and Jenny!

APPLAUSE

Join us next time, when we'll be putting

more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE