Game Shows Pointless Celebrities

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to this special

game-show edition of Pointless Celebrities,

the show where the aim of the game

is to find the most obscure answer possible.

Let's meet today's Pointless celebrities.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Hello, I'm Nina Myskow and I'm a journalist and broadcaster.

And I'm Gyles Brandreth,

and since there's a 1980s vibe, I think, to some of the game shows

we're celebrating tonight, I thought

I'd wear a jumper from the 1980s

to look the business.

I used to wear it to tell people who I was,

now I wear it to remind myself who I am.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Couple number two.

I'm Ulrika Jonsson and I'm a writer and broadcaster.

I'm Nick Hancock and I'm unemployed by popular demand.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Couple number three.

I'm Jenny Powell and I'm wearing Gyles' other jumper

because it doesn't fit him any more.

That's me, I just turn the letters round, that's all you need to know.

I'm Tom O'Connor, I'm a retired country-and-western singer.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

And, finally, couple number four.

My name is Henry Kelly, I used to present Game For A Laugh

with my pal Matthew here

and then I went on to present a quiz programme called Going For Gold.

Yeah, and I'm Matthew Kelly

and I used to do Game For A Laugh as well, but over 30 years ago now

and I think you can never have enough Kellys in a game show.

Hear, hear!

APPLAUSE

And these are today's contestants. Thanks, all of you.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce -

he was born with a fifth sense for fact.

I know what you're thinking, that should be a sixth sense

but, actually, not in his case cos he can't smell.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya, hi, everybody. APPLAUSE

Evening.

-Good evening to you.

-Good evening to you.

A great line-up of game-show legends, isn't it?

I feel slightly humbled by people who are much better at the job

-than we are.

-Yeah.

We've also got people who've been on the show before.

We've got two people who haven't been further than the first round.

That's Nick and Gyles, but we do... We have a winner amongst us.

-Ooh!

-We have a Pointless champion, a trophy holder amongst us

and it is the mighty Tom O'Connor on podium three there.

APPLAUSE

-Very, very much the man to beat, I suspect.

-Mm.

-Well, thank you very much indeed.

-Pleasure.

-Richard, thank you.

Now, as ever, all our questions on Pointless have been asked to 100 people before the show.

Today's contestants are looking for those all important pointless

answers, those being the answers that none of our 100 people knew.

Find one of those, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity

this evening, so we start off with a special bumper jackpot of £2,500.

-There it is.

-APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

So the only thing you really need to remember is that the pair

with the highest score at the end of each round will be eliminated,

so your job is to make sure that you are not in that pair.

Best of luck with all of that, our first category this evening is...

-GYLES:

-Oh!

-International football.

International football. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could. Teams at the 2014 FIFA World Cup. Richard.

Yup, simply looking for the names of any of the 32 nations who took

part in the FIFA World Cup finals in 2014.

Any of those 32 teams, very best of luck.

Thank you very much indeed.

So, Nina, we come to you first. Welcome to Pointless.

It's lovely to have you here. Now, you, you were a judge on New Faces.

-Yes, that's 30 years ago now.

-30 years ago.

But you're a sort of proto-Cowell, I like to think.

What do you make of these new shows?

Do you feel they've taken the ball and run with it well?

Yes, every year I sit down and think,

"I'm not going to fall for this, not going to fall for their sob story."

And then at the end of every show, I'm sitting there weeping, you know.

-You get sucked in, they're brilliantly done.

-Very good.

-Now, Nina, football.

-Mm.

-Couldn't hold it off for ever.

-I'm going to take a really...

-Go for it, go for it.

-Zambia.

-Oh, that's clever!

-Zambia.

Zambia. OK, well, let's see how clever it is.

Zambia, how many people said it? Is it right?

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm afraid not Zambia.

That's an incorrect answer, I'm afraid, Nina,

and scores you 100 points, I'm sorry.

Zambia didn't qualify, I'm afraid.

I should've said, before the round, to make it even worse for you,

for each round on today's show

there's a special prize, because it's a game-show special.

-And the prize for the first round is a Bendy Bully.

-Oh!

So the lowest-scoring team wins a genuine Bendy Bully.

Oh, a Bendy Bully, Nick.

Bendy Bully. Now, you, Nick, you started out briefly as a PE teacher.

-I did!

-How long did you stick that out for?

About a week and a half, something like that.

-Room 101.

-Mm.

You did Room 101 on the radio.

-I did do Room 101 on the radio.

-You got that ball rolling.

-That's right, yeah.

-Did you just think, "Oh, it's just too...

"It's no fun talking to people about things they don't like"?

No, it was just a little bit like hard work, really,

because there's only two people involved. On a panel show,

it's much easier. You've got lots of people to chip in.

-I was very happy for Paul to do it. And then Frank, of course.

-And then Frank.

So, then, Nick, this is your time to shine.

-Iran.

-Iran.

-Iran.

-GYLES:

-Oh!

Let us see if that's right.

I think we can trust Nick, that will be right,

let's see how many people said Iran.

It's right.

7 for Iran. Very well done indeed, Nick.

APPLAUSE

Very well played, Nick. It's a good answer, Iran.

They were in their fourth World Cup final.

They were the first team I completed in my sticker annual, Iran.

There we are. Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Tom, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-An ex-champion.

Retired schoolteacher.

A retired schoolteacher, of course, you were a schoolteacher as well.

A schoolteacher as well. And a singer and a game show host.

I used to host a show called Name That Tune. Does anyone remember it?

-Yeah!

-Yes.

-AUDIENCE: Yes.

People still test you. It happened to me in Manchester.

This man came towards me, he was obviously drunk,

and he had teeth like the Ten Commandments -

-all broken...

-LAUGHTER

He said, "I've got a tune you won't name," I said, "Go on," he went -

# La da da, da da... #

I said, "Strangers In The Night." He said,

He said, "All right, for the car..."

LAUGHTER

"..what was the name of the dog in the song?"

I said, "I don't know," he said - # Scooby-Dooby-Doo. #

LAUGHTER

Now, Tom, international football.

I'm going to say Poland.

Poland says Tom, Poland. Let's see if it's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Poland.

-AUDIENCE:

-Oh!

-Oh, bad luck, Tom.

-GYLES:

-Oh!

-Scores you 100 points.

Yeah, they're usually there, Poland, but not in 2014, I'm afraid.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Henry.

-Yes, sir.

-Now, Henry, you went into Game For A Laugh

from quite serious journalism.

-I did.

-Was it that that sort of brought you into LE or had you...?

-Sorry, that's Light Entertainment.

-It was, it was, in fairness,

and then because the four of us, myself, Matt, the late Jeremy

and Sarah Kennedy... I mean, it'd been dropped from nowhere,

how it clicked, I have absolutely no idea.

Well, there were only three channels then.

-There was nothing else to watch.

-Well, that's true.

-Pretty much.

-LAUGHTER

OK, now, Henry, any national team

that took part in the 2014 FIFA World Cup.

I will go for Cote d'Ivoire, the Ivory Coast.

Cote d'Ivoire, says Henry.

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said Cote d'Ivoire.

Look at that, Henry.

Good answer.

Seven, our highest correct score.

Cote d'Ivoire stops at eight, look at that!

Very well done indeed, Henry.

-APPLAUSE

-Eight.

Yeah, well played, Henry. It's a very good answer.

When we first met, it was at university,

many, many years ago, and the big... the huge cult, was Going For Gold.

It was such a huge show, wasn't it, Going For Gold?

-Even now, people talk about it.

-Kind of you to say so, dear.

Well said, Richard, thank you very much indeed.

We're halfway through the round, so let's look at those scores.

Seven, the best score of the pass, Nick. No surprises there.

Eight, lovely low score there from Henry.

Matthew, keep that up, could be you waltzing off with Bendy Bully.

But our 100...

our two 100 scorers there.

Yes, Gyles and Jenny,

it's going to be between the pair of you.

Very best of luck with your answering.

We're going to come back down the line now. Can the second players please step up to the podium?

Right, so, Matthew.

-Yes.

-Matthew, do you know when you did You Bet...

-Yeah.

..did you know I came on You Bet?

-Did you?

-Yeah.

-How did we get on?

-Yeah, you were lovely. You were so...

-Aw, really?

Yeah, we caught you on one of those weeks.

-LAUGHTER

-You were so lovely.

-You couldn't have been nicer.

-Really? Can you remember any of...

You had some theatre dressers who came in, theatrical dressers,

and Ben Miller and I came on

to be the actors who came and had to run on and off and run on and off.

-That's fantastic.

-It was such good fun! We had such a laugh.

-Oh, it was a great show, that.

-Great show.

-Yeah, I loved it.

So, Matthew, listen, there you are, you're on eight.

If you want to score 91 or less, if you felt in the mood,

you'd be sure of a place in the next round.

Erm, I'll just go for a European team

-which is always there, and that's Portugal.

-Portugal, says Matthew.

Here's your red line, it'll be nice and high.

If you can get below that with Portugal, you're into round two.

It's right and you're through, very well done.

Did exactly what you needed.

Oh, it's not doing badly. Look at that, 27.

-APPLAUSE

-Very well done.

35 is your total.

Still in the running for the Bendy Bully.

Yeah, well played, Matthew. Perennial underachievers at the World Cup, Portugal,

-and no changes this time.

-There we go.

Thank you very much indeed.

-OK, now, Jenny.

-Hello.

-Jenny, welcome to Pointless.

-Hi.

-Jenny, Wheel Of Fortune.

-Yes.

-Huge! Huge, it was, Wheel Of Fortune.

-Yeah.

I heard you've been doing a programme

-about food and wine in Romania.

-Yeah, I have. Yeah.

Now, how is the food and wine?

Well, it has a lot of cheese and a lot of pork.

-How's the wine?

-I don't drink. No, actually, it's lovely.

-There are some beautiful...

-Seriously, Romanian wine?

-..some amazing vineyards up there.

-Really?

Yeah, all on the Carpathian Mountains, we went and could see the Ukraine in the distance.

-Oh, lovely.

-It was beautiful, yeah.

-Now, Jenny, there you are.

-You're on 100. You're joint high scorers.

-Excellent.

-What are you going to go for?

-I think I'm just going to...

I've been there for a month, I'm going to say Romania.

Romania, let's see. No red line for you, as you're joint high scorers.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Romania.

-AUDIENCE GROANS

-Oh, no.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer

Scores you another 100 points, takes your total up to 200.

Sorry, Jenny, very nearly got there, lost in a play-off, the Romanians.

-But not there, I'm afraid.

-Thanks very much indeed.

-Ulrika, welcome back.

-Thank you.

So, Gladiators, obviously another massive, massive show

-from the... '90s. '90s?

-Yes. '90s, yeah.

-Yeah.

-And obviously then Shooting Stars.

-Yes.

Do you have a preference of the two?

-Oh, two completely different ballgames.

-Yeah.

But Shooting Stars, probably, because it was just so bonkers.

-It was just mad.

-Looked enormous fun, that.

Now, listen, Ulrika, if you can score 27 or less,

-then you'll be walking away with the Bully.

-OK.

-OK?

So what are you going to go for?

Bosnia?

-Bosnia.

-Yeah.

Bosnia, OK. Well, no red line for you, because you're already through,

but let's see how many of our 100 people said Bosnia.

It's right.

-That's a great answer, look at that! Two.

-APPLAUSE

Only the lowest score of the round so far, Ulrika,

taking you up to nine. Very, very well done indeed.

That's the Bendy Bully.

Great answer, Ulrika. Yeah, their first World Cup, Bosnia.

Edin Dzeko is their leading striker.

Used to be the lead singer of Dzeko And The Bunnymen. LAUGHTER

-Shall we present, or...

-I think we probably should.

-OK.

-But congratulations, very well earned, I have to say.

We're going to have to work out access, aren't we?

-You have it for six months, I have it for six months.

-I'll tell you what,

-I have two bullies at home, meaning I've got two bulldogs at home, so you can...

-There we are.

-I'll let you have that for the first six months of next year.

-Thank you. How wonderful.

Congratulations.

That is a beautiful, beautiful thing. Very well done indeed.

There we go.

-So, yes, Gyles.

-Yeah.

So that is your signature, then, is it?

This is my signature.

I wore this originally, because I read somewhere that people...

What they remember is what they see, not what they hear.

87% of what people recall is what they see,

only 13% what they hear. And my wife explained to me that when I'm on,

people always watch with the sound turned down anyway.

LAUGHTER

-Now, listen, Gyles.

-Yeah.

-You have to score 99 or less.

You have to, otherwise we will enter lockdown.

I'm going to go for a team that I knew took part.

May I offer...

England!

QUIET SOLITARY CHEER

LAUGHTER

That's the state of the game in this country!

This, I think, tells us all we need to know about English football.

Yeah.

OK, Gyles, good answer. England, you are saying.

There is your red line there, just below the pink line.

If you get below that red line, you are through to round two.

Let's see if England's right, let's see how many people said it.

-It's right, and you're through.

-APPLAUSE

87 people said England, that is good enough.

187 sees you cantering through to the next round.

Very well done, Gyles and Nina.

Yeah, did all you had to do there, just get a correct answer.

Now, there are no pointless answers at all.

The best answer out of all the 32 countries

is Bosnia. Best answer you could've come up with.

APPLAUSE Well played, Ulrika.

Now, Honduras would've scored you three,

would've been a very good answer, and Algeria would've scored you six.

Other good answers - South Korea, nine, and Ghana, nine.

Switzerland, Nigeria - 11. And 12 for Columbia and Croatia.

Those were the best answers you could've given. Let's take a look at the top three answers,

the ones that most of our 100 people said. Brazil, 71.

Germany would've scored you 83 and England,

finally winning something, with 87.

LAUGHTER

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our first round, I'm sorry to say,

the pair who are heading home with a high score of 200,

Jenny and Tom. I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry. It feels wrong to be saying goodbye so soon,

but come and play again.

Could we be on the show when Gyles isn't?

LAUGHTER

-Thank you very much indeed. Jenny and Tom, wonderful contestants.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for round two.

And so we're down to three pairs.

At the end of this round, we'll have to say goodbye

to another pair in time for our head-to-head round.

Well, well done, Nick and Ulrika.

Ulrika, the lowest individual score,

and your combined score the lowest combined score.

Well done, Matthew and Henry, lovely solid low scoring from you,

and well done, Gyles and Nina, for fluking it through.

-LAUGHTER

-That was brilliant.

-Absolutely fantastic.

-For two people who know nothing

-and care less, as I say, about football.

-There we are.

Well, listen, best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for round two this evening is...

Oh, it's film.

It's film. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Dance films.

Dance films. Richard?

On each board, we're going to show you six descriptions of films

that are centred around some form of dance or dancing.

You just need to give us the names of the films, please.

There's going to be six on each board, 12 in all,

to have a go at at home, and for the team who gets the lowest score

in this round, your prize will be...

a Blankety Blank cheque-book and pen.

-ALL: Oooooh! Genuine.

-What about that?

APPLAUSE

Oh, brilliant.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, we are looking for the dance films

described by the following six clues.

Here is the first board of six. And we have...

I'll read those all again without the dates...

Nina?

I'm going to go for number two...

-..Singing in the Rain.

-Singing in the Rain, says Nina.

Let's see how many people said Singing in the Rain. Is it right?

It is right.

Look at that, 13 for Singing in the Rain.

Good answer, Nina.

Great answer, Nina, very well played.

You did exactly what you needed to do.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Ulrika, what are you going to go for?

Um, I will go for the top one...

..I think, which is Black Swan.

Black Swan, says Ulrika. Let's see if that's right

and how many of our 100 people said Black Swan.

It's right.

13 is our only score so far.

Black Swan goes to 42.

Not bad.

Well played, Ulrika.

The score to that, which was not eligible for an Oscar,

because it was a slight reworking of Swan Lake,

was done by Clint Mansell of Pop Will Eat Itself.

-Really?

-Yes.

There we go. Thank you very much indeed. So, now, Matthew.

Matthew, you're the last person to have this board,

do you want to talk us through the board and fill in the blanks?

Yeah, I'd LOVE to talk you through it.

The bottom one is obviously Billy Elliot.

And I think the next one is Footloose,

or it's the other way around.

I'll go for the third one down, I think that's Dirty Dancing.

OK, Dirty Dancing, says Matthew.

Let's see how many people said Dirty Dancing.

Well, it's right. 42 is our high score until now.

74 for Dirty Dancing.

That's a big score for Dirty Dancing.

A very iconic film these days.

-It actually scores more than Billy Elliot.

-Really?

Billy Elliot would have scored you 55 points.

It wouldn't have been a bad answer at all, isn't that amazing?

Janey falls for her partner Jeff, it's not Footloose,

it's Girls Just Want To Have Fun.

It would have scored you three points.

Antonio Banderas stars in this last one, and it's a pointless answer.

Very well done if you said Take the Lead.

Take The Lead.

A terrific answer.

Thank you very much indeed. We're halfway through the round, let's look at those scores.

13, the best score of that pass, very well done indeed, Nina.

Then up to 42 where we find Ulrika and Nick.

Then to 74, the Kellys. Henry, a nice low score from you.

You'll be the first person to have the next board

so find a really good low score there and let's hope

that's enough to keep you in the game.

We're going to come back down the line now,

can the second players step up to the podium.

OK, let's put six more clues up on the board and here they come.

We've got:

I'll read those one last time.

Henry, you are the high scorers.

No target particularly for you to aim for, just a low score.

I'll go for the second one down,

and say, Chicago.

Chicago, says Henry.

No red line for you as you're the high scorers.

Let's see how many people said Chicago.

It's right.

37.

Not bad, it takes your total up to 111.

Well played, Henry, nominated for 13 Oscars, Chicago.

Winning six, including Best Picture.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Nick.

68 points or less will see you through to the next round.

I'm going to have to go to students at a New York Performing Arts School

training for careers in show business,

and hope it's Fame.

Fame, says Nick. There's your red line, it's nice and high.

If you can get below that with Fame,

you're into the head-to-head for sure.

Let's see if it's right and see how many people said Fame.

It's right.

You're going to live for ever, Nick. Look at that, 56, well done.

98's your total.

Well played, Nick.

It won two Oscars, Best Original Song for Fame

and for Original Score.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Now then, Gyles.

Gyles, this board is all yours. Do you want to talk us through it?

I can say that I think

what number three is, because that's my poor man's John Travolta.

But I'm going to go for the next one down.

I think the film is going to be Moulin Rouge.

-Moulin Rouge, says Gyles.

-LAUGHTER

Here comes your red line, it's lovely and high.

If you get below that, you are into the head-to-head comfortably.

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many people said Moulin Rouge.

It's right.

Through you go. Well done, Gyles.

That's a very, very good answer.

Seven, look at that.

It takes your total to 20.

There's a cheque book and pen in it for you, Gyles and Nina!

With Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor,

it's a terrific answer, Gyles, and even better than that,

you and Nina have just won yourself a Blankety Blank cheque book and pen!

APPLAUSE

-Ah, it's wonderful.

-There we go.

Oh, good Lord!

-You won a Blankety Blank cheque-book.

-Did you do Blankety Blank?

-LAUGHTER

-Thank you.

Well done.

There we are.

That's a fabulous thing to have.

Now, I'll take you through the rest of this board.

You're absolutely right about John Travolta.

It's Saturday Night Fever, of course.

The biggest score on the board, actually 58 points.

The overworked lawyer, that is in Shall We Dance.

Two points.

The former salsa champion, a very recent one with Nick Frost,

is Cuban Fury.

That would've scored you eight.

Shall We Dance is the best answer on the board.

Thank you very much indeed, so at the end of our second round,

I'm afraid the pair heading home

with a high score of 111 is Henry and Matthew.

It's been such a treat having you both on the show.

Thank you so much for playing. Please come and play again.

-Henry and Matthew! Wonderful people.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations Nick and Ulrika, Gyles and Nina.

You are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot

which currently stands at £2,500.

APPLAUSE

This is that exciting round

when we decide who goes through to the final and plays for the jackpot.

We do that by making you go head-to-head.

The good news is you're now allowed to confer

and the first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

I thought for this round,

-I thought we'd have a consolation prize.

-Yeah.

So the consolation prize is...

a Countdown teapot.

-Oh, that's lovely.

-Look at that!

-It looks quite familiar.

-GENTLE LAUGHTER

Thank you very much indeed.

If everyone is ready, let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

..children's authors.

Children's authors. Richard?

We're about to show you five photos now of authors of children's books.

Can you identify the most obscure? The very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five children's authors in photographic form

and here they come. We have got...

-GYLES:

-Oh!

-ULRIKA:

-Ssh.

-GYLES:

-Ah!

-LAUGHTER

-GYLES:

-Oh...

OK, there we are.

Nick and Ulrika, you've been our lowest scorers overall,

so you will go first.

We know C and D, don't we?

Is A Beatrix Potter?

A, Beatrix Potter, say Nick and Ulrika.

Now, then, Gyles and Nina,

talk us through the rest of the board if you can.

-B is completely anonymous.

-Lost to us.

C we know is JK Rowling.

D we know is Roald Dahl.

E, we think is JRR Tolkien.

-Tolkien.

-Tolkien! E is Tolkien!

Tolkien. OK, so we have JRR Tolkien.

We have Beatrix Potter and we have JRR Tolkien.

Nick and Ulrika went for Beatrix Potter.

Shall we see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many people said Beatrix Potter.

It's right, it IS Beatrix Potter.

Down it goes...

-to 31.

-APPLAUSE

31. Now,

IS E JRR Tolkien?

How many people would've known that?

Let's find out. Tolkien, is that right?

It IS Tolkien.

It is Tolkien, it has to beat 31.

And it does, very well done indeed.

Look at that, 4, very good.

-APPLAUSE

-Great answer.

Which means, Gyles and Nina, after one question you are up 1-0.

Two very good answers there.

It doesn't look much like Beatrix Potter.

I think the reason is we took it from her...

Facebook page, it's a selfie. LAUGHTER

She was in Ibiza and underneath it it says,

"OMG, have just finished Miss Tiggy-Winkle."

LAUGHTER

B is the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid author.

Huge seller round the world, Jeff Kinney is his name

and he's a pointless answer.

Let's take a look at the next one.

C is JK Rowling,

would've scored you 75.

D, now, you nearly went for Roald Dahl, didn't you?

And if you had, you would've lost the point.

Would've scored you 47.

Thank you very much, Richard. OK, here comes your second question.

Now, Nick and Ulrika, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

Best of luck. Here it comes, it concerns...

-GYLES:

-Oh, please!

TV sports themes. Richard.

We're going to play you five pieces of music now

which are excerpts from TV themes associated with sport.

We just need you to tell us the sport

with which the following are most associated, please.

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much, let's listen to our

five excerpts and here they come. We've got A...

MUSIC: Light And Tuneful by Keith Mansfield

..B...

MUSIC: The Chain by Fleetwood Mac

..C...

MUSIC: Pop Looks Bach by Sam Fonteyn

..D...

MUSIC: Soul Limbo by Booker T & The MG's

..and E.

MUSIC: Holy Mackerel by Brian Bennett

OK, there we are. Gyles and Nina, we come to you.

So we... Do you want to go for C?

Show-jumping.

C, show-jumping say Gyles and Nina. Show-jumping.

Now, Nick and Ulrika...

We thought A was Ski Sunday,

or Wimbledon, we weren't sure.

B was...

-remind me of the music.

-Formula

-1. Formula 1.

C, we thought Horse Of The Year Show,

but it could also have been Ski Sunday.

D's definitely Time Is Tight by Booker T & The MG's,

that's the cricket and E we think is Pot Black.

I'm going to say...

E is Pot Black.

-So snooker.

-Snooker, snooker.

OK, E, snooker. So, we have show-jumping and we have snooker.

Gyles and Nina said show-jumping. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said show-jumping.

No, C, not show-jumping.

Nick and Ulrika, meanwhile, have said that E is snooker.

Let's see if that's right. All it has to be at this point is right.

(Means it's wrong.)

No! Both wrong as it turns out.

Which means we go back to Richard who'll tell us everything.

Yeah, it's amazing, they're all familiar bits of music

but, actually, very hard to work out the sports for some of them.

So, A, which I confidently thought was the golf, let's have a listen.

MUSIC: Light And Tuneful by Keith Mansfield

-Football.

-It's not Match Of The Day, it's Wimbledon. It's tennis.

-Oh, it's tennis!

-It's Wimbledon.

-Of course it is.

You see? Would've scored you 28.

Now, B is probably the most recognisable of all of them.

That is, of course, motor racing, Formula 1.

MUSIC: The Chain by Fleetwood Mac

Would've scored you 71.

C, which I also thought was the Horse Of The Year Show...

MUSIC: Pop Looks Bach by Sam Fonteyn

-..and it's Ski Sunday.

-Ski Sunday, of course it is.

-Skiing.

34 points. Such a familiar piece of music. It's ridiculous when...

-That first bit's very horsey, isn't it?

-Yeah, absolutely.

D, should have gone with D, it's, again, unmistakably the cricket.

MUSIC: Soul Limbo by Booker T & The MG's

Would've only scored 51 points, actually.

Not a bad answer. And...

E, which you thought was...you thought was Pot Black,

I thought was Junior Kick Start.

I was absolutely convinced it was and it's neither of those things.

It's actually...

MUSIC: Holy Mackerel by Brian Bennet

..Rugby Special.

Would've scored you 9 points.

-Sounds like the theme tune to...

-I confused Pot Black and All Black.

LAUGHTER

Well, listen, at the end of our second question,

it remains 1-0 to Gyles and Nina, so, once again, Nick and Ulrika,

you have to win this one to stay in the game, so best of luck. It concerns...

Oh, that's good. Bands and their tribute acts. Richard.

We're going to show you the names of five tribute acts now,

you just need to tell us which band they are the tribute act for.

OK, here we go, let's reveal our five tribute acts and here they come.

We've got...

Nick and Ulrika will go first.

-(West End Girls is...)

-(The Pet Shop Boys?)

-(Yeah.)

OK. West End Girls is the Pet Shop Boys.

Pet Shop Boys.

Stands to reason. West End Girls, Pet Shop Boys.

Now, Gyles and Nina, the board's all yours.

Talk us through it and tell us

who you think those acts are tributing.

Bjorn Again is ABBA.

Jean Genie I assume is Bowie,

Sticky Fingers, Rolling Stones.

Shall we risk it?

What else could it be? Apart from Duran Duran? Joanne Joanne.

OK, Duran Duran say Gyles and Nina.

So we have Pet Shop Boys and we have Duran Duran.

Now, Nick and Ulrika said Pet Shop Boys for West End Girls.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said Pet Shop Boys.

It is Pet Shop Boys.

It is Pet Shop Boys.

52.

APPLAUSE

52 people recognised West End Girls.

Now, Gyles and Nina, gone out on a bit of a limb here

with Joanne Joanne as a Duran Duran tribute band.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said Duran Duran.

It is Duran Duran.

And it wins you the point.

Wow, really wins you the point. 17, look at that.

APPLAUSE

Well, there we go. Very well done indeed, Gyles and Nina.

You are straight through to the final 2-0.

Great news, Nick and Ulrika, you've won a Countdown teapot.

-Yay!

-Yay!

-Whey!

APPLAUSE

Well played, you did exactly the right thing there.

An all-female Duran Duran band, as are West End Girls,

an all-female Pet Shop Boys.

The band Bjorn Again, you're right, is ABBA.

78. Jean Genie, as you knew, was David Bowie.

Would've scored more than the Pet Shop Boys, would've scored 55

and quite a low scorer for The Rolling Stones,

Sticky Fingers, because you have to know that's a Rolling Stones album

and it would've scored you 28 points.

So, Duran Duran actually the best answer on the board.

Thank you very much, Richard.

The pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm so sorry, you've done so well, Nick and Ulrika, I mean,

you've gone through this show like a knife through butter.

But I'm afraid this is where we have to say goodbye to you.

Lovely having you on the show, please come again.

-Nick and Ulrika.

-APPLAUSE

But for Gyles and Nina it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Gyles and Nina.

You've seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

for your charities and, at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at...

APPLAUSE

Ah. Did you ever doubt you were going to end up in this spot?

-I mean, even when you gave Zambia as your first answer...

-Zambia.

I started with Zambia.

100 points. No, I never thought we'd get past the first round with that.

But here you are.

Now, as always,

you get to choose your category for this last round, which is nice.

We'll put four up on the board. Here they come.

-The year 1992.

-Can we remember the year 1992?

Well, it is the year that I became a Member of Parliament.

So I would go for 1992 because the Rich List envy prevents me

-from reading this ever.

-OK, the year 1992 it is. Richard.

Yeah, three very different questions here.

We're looking for any cast member of the 1992 film

Wayne's World according to IMDb, we're looking for any act who

had a Number 1 album in 1992, just the name of the act, please,

or we are looking for any British medal-winner

of the 1992 Barcelona Olympics.

Any colour medal, so as long as they were from the British team.

So the cast of Wayne's World, any act which had a Number 1 album

in 1992, or any British medal-winner at the 1992 Barcelona Olympics.

Very, very best of luck.

Thank you very much indeed.

As always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three

answers and all you need to win that jackpot for your charities

is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

-No, but we're going through with it.

-Big of you.

Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time start now.

-Right, cast of Wayne's World. It was Mike something. Mike...

-Mike Myers.

-Mike Myers.

-Mike Myers, that's about all I can remember.

I remember him but everybody would've heard of him.

Number 1 albums is where you should be good.

-You were the queen of pop in 1992.

-I can't remember 1992.

-Oh, come on.

-I can't.

-It's

-1962

-you can't remember.

-1992 you must be able to remember.

-It could be a Spice Girls album.

-Ah!

But I can't remember a Spice Girls album.

Who would want to remember a Spice Girls album?

We'll come up with something. So that's your one

and the British medal-winners... What about Tessa Sanderson?

-Do you think she...?

-No, no, she'd been and gone by then.

-1992...

-Come on, who...?

-Seb Coe. He and I became MPs on the same day in 1992.

-But, of course, he wasn't...

-Yes, OK, but who WAS in 1992?

I've no idea who was in 1992!

All I know is that Freddie Mercury sang the theme song with...

-Yeah, but that's irrelevant.

-I know, I know, I know.

-Ten seconds left.

-We're running out of time now.

-We are.

The British medal-winners.

Think of any sports figure from there,

somebody who played Ping-Pong or something.

-Erm...

-I don't know any sports at all.

-No, I don't know anything.

Oh, no! That's your time up. OK, let's have three answers.

OK, Mike Myers.

That's my impression of him.

-OK, Mike Myers from Wayne's World.

-Number 1 albums - Spice Girls...

-Spice Girls.

-Yup, I think it was called Spice Girls.

Spice Girls. And third answer?

-Who was that runner? Carl somebody?

-Carl Lewis! Carl Lewis!

LAUGHTER

Of those three, which do you think

is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Forgive me...

-HE LAUGHS THEATRICALLY

LAUGHTER

Which do you think is your best shot?

-Carl...

-Never mind the pointless answer,

what about the pointless question, mate?

LAUGHTER

Which is your...? Carl Lewis goes last.

-OK, least likely to be pointless?

-Wayne's World.

-Mike Myers.

Wayne's World, Mike Myers we'll put first

and then we'll put Spice Girls by the Spice Girls in the middle.

Let's put those answers up on the board in that order,

and here they are. We have got...

Let's just think for a moment.

Maybe one of those is pointless

and you will win that jackpot for your charities.

What ARE your charities? Gyles, I come to you first.

-Mine's a charity called Kidneys For Life.

-Excellent. Nina?

APPLAUSE

Save The Children.

Very good, well, two great charities. Let's hope...

APPLAUSE

..let's hope against hope that one of these answers

-might win that jackpot.

-I think...

Mike Myers was your least confident answer.

Only one of these answers has to be pointless

for you to win that jackpot, let's see.

Mike Myers, we were looking for cast members

of Wayne's World for £2,500, how many people said Mike Myers?

Well, it's right.

Down it goes, through the '60s,

still going through the '50s.

-'40s, 44.

-Wow, I'm staggered.

-APPLAUSE

Wow, there you go. 44 for Mike Myers.

Oh, yeah.

Unfortunately not a pointless answer,

which means you only have two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was the Spice Girls. Spice Girls - Spice Girls.

We were looking for Number 1 albums from 1992.

Let's find out. For £2,500, how many people said Spice Girls.

No.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

which means you only have one more shot at today's jackpot.

Everything is now riding on your third and final answer,

which was Carl Lewis.

Remember we were looking for any BRITISH medal-winner...

-LAUGHTER

-No, no, it's fine.

So, Carl Lewis, was he part of the British team?

No, he wasn't. No.

Was he a British medallist at the Barcelona Olympics in 1992

for £2,500? Let's find out how many people said Carl Lewis.

I'm afraid an incorrect answer, I'm afraid.

APPLAUSE

Well, a very sporting final round from you considering you were,

you were struggling, I think.

Completely pathetic, completely pathetic.

A very good effort, but I'm afraid you don't

win today's jackpot of £2,500 for your charities but,

as today's show is a celebrity special, we are going to donate

£500 to each celebrity pair to give to their respective charities.

Thank you.

And you get to take home a Pointless trophy each, so do not forget that

along with your Blankety Blank chequebook and pen.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, very well played, that's very unlucky.

Carl Lewis, American, Spice Girls' first album wasn't until 1996,

but we'll take you through the pointless answers in all

the different categories, see how you've done at home.

Cast of Wayne's World...

Alice Cooper plays himself in that film,

Lara Flynn Boyle is in the film, Meatloaf,

Michael Deluise is one of their friends

who's in the car during the Bohemian Rhapsody part of that film.

Let's take a look at bands who had Number 1 albums in 1992.

You could've had Bon Jovi, Neil Diamond,

you could've had Genesis, Def Leppard.

And British medal-winners in 1992,

there were quite a few and a lot of them were pointless.

Chris Boardman won in the cycling.

Jonny Searle who won with his brother Greg Searle

and Garry Herbert in the rowing and won gold.

Kriss Akabusi won two bronzes, Nicola Fairbrother in the judo.

In fact, every medallist was a pointless answer,

everyone apart from Linford Christie, Sally Gunnell,

Steve Redgrave, Matthew Pinsent,

Steve Backley, John Regis and Roger Black,

so if you said any other medal-winners, you would've won the money.

It's been brilliant fun, such a lovely show,

-it's been lovely having you here, sorry about the final category.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

Unfortunately, we do have to say goodbye to you, Gyles and Nina,

but it's been a joy having you here,

Gyles and Nina, excellent contestants.

-APPLAUSE

-Thank you.

It's been lovely. Thank you very much.

Join us next time when we'll be putting

more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

..and it's goodbye from me, goodbye.

APPLAUSE