Special 2 Pointless Celebrities

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and a very warm welcome to Pointless Celebrities,

the show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Let's meet today's Pointless celebrities.

APPLAUSE

Couple number one...

Hi, I'm Jayne Torvill, and together with my partner, Christopher Dean,

we won the 1984 Olympics.

And I'm Mary Peters

and I won the gold medal

in the 1972 Olympics in Munich.

APPLAUSE

Couple number two...

I'm Norman Pace. I'm one of the comedy duo Hale and Pace,

and I don't know what happened to the other bloke.

My name's Gareth Hale and I've solved the riddle.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

Couple number three...

Hi, my name is Henry Kelly.

I presented a quiz programme

called Going For Gold

for, I think, about 600 times and then, eventually,

they copped on and got bored of it.

And when I told people I was going to be on Pointless,

my reputation soared.

LAUGHTER

Hi, I'm Tony Hawks.

I'm a comedian and author,

probably best known for my book, Round Ireland With A Fridge,

and for being mixed up with the skateboarder, Tony Hawk.

APPLAUSE

And, finally, couple number four...

Hi, I'm Louise Wener. I was in Britpop band, Sleeper, in the '90s

and I am now an author.

And I'm Kate Humble. I'm on the telly,

usually being upstaged by something with fur or feathers.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you. We will find out more

throughout the show as it goes along.

So, that just leaves one more person to me to introduce.

Dropping more jaws than a trainee mortician,

-it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hi.

APPLAUSE

Good evening, everybody.

-Good evening to you.

-Good evening.

What a line-up we've got. Look at that podium one.

-Look at that.

-Amazing.

Did you know Mary Peters doesn't call herself

Dame Mary Peters as well? She just doesn't need to do it.

-She knows everyone knows.

-She exudes "dame."

-She really does.

How is Jayne Torvill not a dame, by the way?

I mean, that's an oversight.

Shall we have a chat in the column about that? Just come in and...

-But that is weird, isn't it?

-It's where we have our office.

But she is going to be in the pantomime at Christmas.

-Oh, that doesn't count.

-Not a dame, though.

It's lovely to have you both here.

But I think, also, podium four are going to be very strong.

Both newcomers to the show as well.

I think podiums one and four are going to put in great performances.

Podium three, Henry Kelly is back. Welcome back, Henry.

Came on last time with Matthew Kelly and has traded up now...

-Yes.

-..to Tony Hawks. See if that works for you,

but we owe a special debt of thanks to podium two,

to Gareth and Norman.

They've been on before.

We had Cannon and Ball, and we had Bobby Davro and Kenny Lynch.

In the first round, both pairs joined the 600 club.

LAUGHTER

It went on till about four in the morning, didn't it?

-Something like that.

-Something like that, yeah.

For early orders for breakfast.

Not only did they behave themselves perfectly,

they also held their nerve to get through to the final

-AND they won a jackpot.

-There we are.

So... Quite. ..they are going to be very, very tough to beat.

-But, gentlemen, thank you so much for giving us a second chance.

-Pleasure.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now, as usual, all of today's questions

have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants are looking

for those all-important pointless answers.

These being answers that none of the 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, today's show is a celebrity special

and each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity so,

we're going to start off with a jackpot of £2,500.

-There it is.

-APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready,

let's play Pointless.

CHEERING

So, I'm sure you all know this,

but there is only one rule

you have to remember and it is this...

The pair with the highest score at the end of each round,

the highest score, will be eliminated.

So, make sure you're not in, or of, that pair.

Our first category this evening is...

It's sport.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. The question concerns...

Sporting families, Richard.

On each board, we're going to show you seven pairs of sportspeople.

They're all from famous sporting families.

We need you to tell us the sport with

which they're most associated, please.

Seven on the first board, seven on the second.

So, 14 in all to have a go at home. Very best of luck.

Thank you very much indeed.

So, we're working for the sports

with which these sportspeople are associated

and here's our first board of seven.

I'll read those all one last time.

HE REPEATS OPTIONS

Mary, a very, very warm welcome to Pointless.

-It's fabulous to have you here.

-Thank you very much,

-it's wonderful to be here.

-I was reading about you...

I read that a lot of the facilities you used to practise on

when you were little were built for you by your dad.

-Is that right?

-I got a tonne of sand for my 16th birthday...

Yeah, we all got that. The traditional 16th birthday present.

..and a load of cement to build a shot-put circle

for my 17th birthday.

You just had the sand, on its own, for a year?

You just had to stand there?

-Did you unwrap it or keep it all in its bow?

-I had to dig it into a pit.

LAUGHTER

As a pentathlete, did you have a favourite discipline among them?

Well, I was quite good at the shot-put

-because I was a British international...

-Yeah.

..but I didn't like doing it.

My favourite was really the hurdles,

cos people watched the race.

They didn't watch you putting the shot in the corner of the stadium.

You didn't have an audience.

Mary, what would you like to go for on this board?

I'm going for the top spot,

for Chris and Stewart Broad,

and it's cricket.

"Cricket," says Mary.

Let's see how many of our 100 people agree with Mary. Cricket...

-55. I think that's all right.

-APPLAUSE

That's all right, Mary, good start to the round

-55 for cricket.

-Yeah, good start, Mary. Well played.

Father and son, of course. Chris Broad, the father.

His daughter, Gemma, also worked with the England team as well.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

-Gareth, welcome back.

-Thank you.

Great to have you here again. Now, Gareth, you and Norman...

I'm trying to think.

I was first aware of you and Norman as The Management.

I'm guessing, probably about '86 or '87 - something like that.

How long had you been going when you started doing that?

I think...

we actually became members of Equity

in '78 or '79, so...

..yeah, quite a while.

Where did you meet?

We met at teacher training college.

Where we actually shared a room

on the first day away from home so...

Yeah, for a long, long time.

How soon after meeting did the comedy start?

I think, the second year of college.

About a year and a half or something like that.

Yeah, that was the first time we went on stage together.

Excellent. Now, Gareth, what about this board?

This board of sporting families...

I think the brothers,

Klitschko - boxing.

"Boxing," says Gareth, for the Klitschko brothers.

Let's see if it's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people agree with Gareth.

It's right.

-55... You have passed 55. 45.

-APPLAUSE

We have a high and a low.

APPLAUSE

Yes, sort of unstoppable, the Klitschko brothers.

They're like the Hale and Pace of the Ukraine.

THEY LAUGH

Their nicknames are Dr Iron Fist and Dr Steel Hammer.

-Are they in the same practice or...?

-LAUGHTER

They are. Well, I think Dr Steel Hammer is a locum

who comes in if Dr Iron Fist is away.

I see.

Very good.

OK, now, Tony, let's just talk about Round Ireland With A Fridge.

It was a lovely, sort of, whimsical idea.

You went off round Ireland with a fridge.

I don't want to give too much away but...

-LAUGHTER

-..that's how it happens.

Then it went on to sell hundreds of thousands of copies.

You must have, kind of, originally thought it'd probably sell

maybe 10,000 or 20,000 or something.

Well, the publishers thought 5,000 or 6,000,

but it's now up to 800,000 so they are quite pleased.

Fantastic.

This explains the tan, I'm expecting.

And the lovely ease of manner.

Tony used to be a very different person.

THEY LAUGH

Then, obviously,

Playing the Moldovans at Tennis,

-you did as well.

-Yes, I had a period of my life where I was...

They were all wacky bets.

I was taking on wacky bets and I had to play and beat

the entire Moldovan national football team at tennis one by one.

So, that was a tall order.

-But you did it.

-I did it.

Have you got more wacky bets up your sleeve?

-Well, I'm on here.

-Yeah.

-That was a bet as well.

-Pointless with Henry Kelly?

-Yes.

-I don't know, there may well be something.

I still think I'd like to do something stupid

and write another book about it.

Oh, please do.

Please do, Tony. Anyway.

Now, what about this board of sporting families?

Yes, well, I think I'm going to go for...

Joe and Don DiMaggio...

and I'm going for baseball.

"Baseball," says Tony.

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many of our 100 said baseball.

Well, you've...

Oh! You join Gareth and Norman on 45. Look at that.

-APPLAUSE

-Very tight grouping, I have to say.

Commendable.

Yes, another... Vince also played top level baseball.

Thank you, Richard.

-Kate...

-Hello.

..welcome to Pointless. Lovely to have you here too.

Now, Kate, so many strands to your bow, but do you have a favourite?

Do you feel there's one that's your strongest suit

or one that's... That you go back to and it feels like home?

Well, I was told by somebody at the BBC that

the only reason I get a job is that

I'm the only woman they know who is happy to appear on television

-unwashed for about three weeks.

-LAUGHTER

I love the wild lives of other people so...

The nomadic series that I did.

The Mongolian series was...

It was fascinating and you find out a lot about human nature.

When you feel a little bit gloomy about human nature,

going and spending time with people like that really lifts your spirits.

Did you have a background in natural history?

Only that I grew up in the countryside

and had a pocket full of snails

and tadpoles in jars.

I had a proper mucky childhood

which I think everyone should be able to have but...

That was my natural history background, yeah.

OK. Now, back to this board.

-There are some fairly exotic creatures on the board as well.

-Yes.

Do you fancy talking us through it?

No, I know nothing, nothing about sport.

but I think you could actually live on Venus

and know who Venus Williams

and her sister, Serena, are.

John and Johnnie Beattie, and Peyton and Eli Manning,

I don't know who they are.

I don't know anything about football

but I do know that Harry and Jamie Redknapp are connected to football,

so I am going to go, Redknapps.

I'm going to go with The Redknapps.

"Redknapps and football," says Kate.

Let's see if she's right and how many people said it.

-Wahey! There we are. 85.

-APPLAUSE

Yeah, a big score - but, as we say, better than 100

and also better than if you'd gone for the Williams sisters as well.

-What do you think the Williams sisters scored?

-92.

-97.

-No!

97 points.

That is some name recognition, isn't it?

The last two answers here, the ones that are left,

are the best answers on the board, as you'd expect.

Peyton and Eli Manning, that is...

-Darts!

-RICHARD LAUGHS

They are a father and son darts team.

It is not darts. It is not darts, I'm so sorry.

It is American football.

Two of the most famous American footballers in history,

but don't worry about that. 18 points.

And John and Johnnie Beattie...

Lots of people will know this, especially our Scottish viewers.

Rugby union, father and son.

Seven points for that, best answer on the board,

-so well done if you got that.

-Thanks very much indeed.

We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

45 was the best score of that pass and Tony and Henry,

and Gareth and Norman share the honour of holding 45 points.

55 is where we find Mary and Jayne and 85... Look at all these fives.

Kate and Louise over on the far podium.

I mean, very nicely tightly together there, which I think is good.

No-one running too far ahead, no-one lagging too far behind.

But, Louise, if you find a nice, low-scoring answer on the next board

-that would be very nice.

-I will try.

-Thank you very much indeed.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, well, let's put seven more pairs of sportspeople up on the board

and here they are. They are...

-I'll read those one last time.

-HE REPEATS OPTIONS

Louise, welcome. It's lovely to have you here...

-Thank you.

-..on Pointless.

Oh, I was a huge Sleeper fan.

Yes, me too.

The highlight for me in the 1990s

was actually 1996. You pinched my bottom on TFI Friday...

-I did not.

-You did. I was standing in the bar...

-Seriously?

..and you walked past...

"Ow!" But then I saw it was you and it was fine.

It was fine.

What a great time that was.

Not the TFI Friday, it was great for me but...

Do you have any standout memories of...?

Do you know,

it was just a brilliant laugh and...

we toured a lot, we went all over America and Japan and the Far East.

I think that was the best thing, just getting to perform,

-play your songs to people...

-Yes.

..and tour all over the world. It was amazing. Yeah.

Absolutely wonderful.

And then, you've gone on and become a very successful novelist.

I started writing. It's... I love it.

Had you always thought, somewhere in you, there are a handful of books?

I think, cos I'd always written lyrics and I loved doing that.

I thought I'd, sort of, broaden out and see if I could write a book,

-and I just really enjoy it.

-Fantastic.

Well, well done, you.

Now, you have a task ahead of you, Louise.

You're the high-scorers on 85. We need a low score, please.

This is my worst subject. This is the subject I was dreading,

that there would be a sport one first

but I'm going to go with...

Rory and Tony Underwood...

and hope that that's rugby.

-Rugby?

-Yeah.

-"Rugby," says Louise.

No red line for you as you're the high-scorers but

fingers crossed rugby is right and a low scorer.

How many of our 100 people said rugby?

That's not bad, Louise, look at that. 48. Good.

APPLAUSE

48.

Only three away from our lowest score, in fact. 133 is your total.

Well played, Louise.

Yeah, both represented England and both represented The Lions.

Both winners, they're both pilots, how about that?

Good...is what it is.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Henry, welcome back to Pointless.

-Thank you, sir.

-Lovely to have you here.

Now, Henry, you've...

I'm trying to think. You've got such a broad spectrum of career.

-You've been a serious journalist.

-Yes.

You were part of, I should say, probably,

the most successful light entertainment programme

-of a generation...

-Of its time.

-Of its time.

-Game For A Laugh, yeah.

-Absolutely.

Then you have been a quizmaster,

-which, as we all know, is a venerable profession.

-Indeed.

-Very difficult as well.

-Very.

Harder than being a serious journalist, I would say,

-being a quiz show host.

-Much harder.

-Oh, yes.

-Much harder.

Is any sphere you feel you perhaps might like to go into?

I think, maybe,

the Kelly tongue and face

may be heading towards, just, you know...

maybe bowling or something like that.

There you go. Short mat bowling, crown...

-I mean, the choices are endless.

-Absolutely.

-Fabulous.

Now, Henry, listen, you're on 45. We have high-scorers behind you...

Louise and Kate on 133.

If you can score 87 or less,

you're through to the next round.

Do you mean 87 or fewer?

No, I really don't. I mean 87 or less.

-"Less" is allowed.

-All right.

LITERALLY, it is allowed.

Anyway... Henry, what would you like to go for?

Scoring 87 or...

I'm not going to say it. Less.

There's one pair there that I'd love to pick

but I daren't take the risk

because, if we get 100,

he'd be blaming me in his next book,

so I'll go for Keke and Nico Rosberg

and motor racing.

"Motor racing," says Henry. Motor racing.

Here's your red line. If you can get below that with motor racing,

you're into Round Two.

How many people said motor racing for the Rosbergs?

Very well done, Henry. You've done everything you needed to.

-Ooh, 67.

-APPLAUSE

Again, it's close. It is nice.

A family scoreboard here.

112 is your total.

Well done, Henry. Did all you needed to do there.

Of course, Keke Rosberg, a world champion,

Nico Rosberg, at the time of recording, hasn't been -

but it wouldn't surprise anyone if he was.

-Thank you. Keke's a good name.

-Keke is a very good name.

-It seems to have fallen out of favour.

-Hasn't it?

My school was full of Kekes. Really? LAUGHTER

Less of them.

There we go. Thanks very much.

-Norman! Welcome back.

-Thank you.

So, you and Gareth, you got back together

and toured in Australia a few years ago.

Yeah, we actually did our farewell tour.

-Oh, it was called "The Farewell...?"

-Yeah.

Mainly for reasons of the weather.

Oh, right.

Why Australia? You must have a huge following out there.

Yeah, we've been going down there

since I think about 19... No, 1989.

-Yeah.

-'89, yeah, and had about ten tours down there

and they welcomed us.

-So, it was like a second home for that time, really.

-Oh, that's nice.

And have you got projects lined up together as well?

Do you make sure you keep things...?

Well, after 40 years of working together,

we decided it might be refreshing to do the occasional thing separately.

I'm sure you feel the same.

I mean, I'm aware you have another life, but...

I'll tell you who will sympathise with that, Ben Miller.

-Ben Miller, I know, would agree with that very strongly.

-Absolutely.

Yeah, we've spoken to Ben.

He is a terrific guy, isn't he?

-What a lovely guy. So talented.

-Cracking bloke.

-I prefer the other one.

-Aww!

-There's a first.

-I know, no-one's ever said that before.

Gareth, it is impossible for you to

have got up in my estimation but...

if you could have, you would have.

-Now, listen, you're on 45.

-We are.

If you can score 87... It's the same score as they had to score.

..87 or less,

you're through to the next round.

I don't know which one to pick. I know a couple of them.

I'll go for Greg and Jonny Searle - rowing.

"Rowing," says Norman.

Greg and Jonny, Jayne looking like she was going to say that.

LAUGHTER

You have just poached The Torvill's answer. Good luck.

There is your red line, if you get below that, you're into Round Two.

Let's see how many people said rowing.

Very well done.

APPLAUSE

15. The best score of the round, in fact,

Norman, taking your score up to 60.

Great answer, Norman. Very well played. They are brothers, of course.

Their most famous moment, I suppose, was the 1992 Olympics in Barcelona.

The coxed pairs.

Imagine being their mum and you've the two brothers in the boat

and they were behind the Italians...

It was an extraordinary bit of rowing.

-But if you were their mum...

-Wouldn't that be amazing?

I mean, if you were their dad, it'd be good as well,

-but their mum especially, I think. Don't you think?

-Yeah.

Very good. Thank you very much, Richard.

Now then, Jayne, welcome to Pointless.

-Lovely to have you here.

-Thank you.

Dame Jayne does have a lovely ring to it.

-THEY LAUGH

-Dame Jayne. Yes.

You can call me that if you like.

I shall, Dame Jayne.

I mean, your name, of course,

will forever be linked with Christopher Dean's.

Do you choose that partnership or are you put together?

Because you obviously have skated with other people before...

Well, initially,

Chris's coach was looking for a partner for him and,

sort of, saw me, we were training at the same rink, and put us together.

Obviously, you have to like each other. You have to get on.

Yeah, we were very shy initially.

We didn't speak very much, just listened to the coach

and got on with it, but...

We've changed a lot.

Extraordinary. But you were skating together for nine years

or something, before you won gold...

We both skated around aged nine and ten,

but we've skated together for, like, 31 years now.

31 years now. Goodness.

OK. Now, Jayne, moment of truth,

77 or less.

Yeah, well...

..I'm going to go with Alistair and Jonny Brownlee

for triathlon...

"Triathlon," says Jayne.

Here is your red line, if you can get below that, Jayne,

you are into the next round.

How many people said triathlon for the Brownlees?

It's right.

Well, 15 is our lowest score so far.

-37, you get...

-APPLAUSE

..for triathlon.

92 is your total.

Very well played, Jayne.

They were brothers as well, of course, and, in the London Olympics,

got their gold and bronze, respectively,

-in the triathlon - which must be harder for their mum...

-Oh, yes.

At least, the Searles both got a gold medal, so everyone's happy.

Imagine Christmas at their house.

One of them's got a bronze medal

but is always slightly afraid to get it out.

HE FAKES YAWN "Oh, bronze"

The one who got the bronze is always going to be

standing there like this,

while the one who got gold gets a tighter squeeze for the...

-And a better present.

-A slightly better present.

Yeah, there it is.

Now, let's fill in the rest of this board.

We'll start with Muhammad and Laila Ali. Of course, it's boxing.

95 points for that.

Joe and Kobe Bryant is basketball...

..which scored you 23. Now, the best answer is at the top there.

It's Albert and Eduard Azaryan.

They're father and son.

Both gold medallists.

Albert was known as "The Lord of the Rings"

-and they are both gymnasts.

-Ahh!

Very well done if you said it at home. One point.

Terrific answer.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

We've come to the end of our first round and I'm horrified to say,

Louise and Kate,

such a treat having you on the show.

-I'm gutted.

-I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, you'll just have to come back and play again

but it's been lovely having you on.

-Louise and Kate, thank you so much.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so, suddenly, we are down to only three pairs.

And at the end of this round, we'll be down to only two.

-Well, Gareth...

-Shouldn't that be "two only", not "only two"?

Exactly right. And our category for Round Two is...

Countries. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name...

Countries whose names contain the letters J, Q, X or Z. Richard.

We're looking for any country of the world whose normal short form

name in English contains one of those letters, please.

As always, by country, we mean a sovereign state that's a member of the UN in its own right.

Thank you very much indeed.

Now then, Jayne, this is fun.

It's not, it's not fun!

Countries containing one of those letters.

Azerbai-yan.

-Azerbaijan, says...

-"Bai-jan", even!

You can pronounce it "Azerbai-yan".

If you're allergic to J...

Erm, Azerbaijan, says Jayne.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Azerbaijan.

-MARY:

-Oh, well done.

Oh, well done.

-That's a very good answer...

-Oh, well done!

-Look at that, 5, Jayne.

-APPLAUSE

I don't know how I knew that.

Very good indeed.

That's very well played. On that first podium as well, with less thinking time.

It has a Z and a J in it. If it was called "Qazerbaijan",

it would have a Q in it as well!

LAUGHTER

Thank you very much, Richard.

-Gareth...

-Yes.

-..what would you like to go for?

Erm...

-Jordan.

-Jordan, says Gareth.

Let's say many of our 100 people said Jordan.

-APPLAUSE

-22 for Jordan.

Well played, Gareth.

Another very good answer.

Of course, the UN still call it Jordan. We call it Katie Price.

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, Tony.

I'm going to go for...

Iraq.

Iraq, says Tony. Iraq.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Iraq.

10!

APPLAUSE

10 for Iraq. Well said, Tony.

But I think we have three formidable teams in front of us here.

I think we do, most certainly. Most certainly. Thank you very much.

Let's just see how formidable they are. The scores now are...

5 for Jayne and Mary, looking very strong at this point.

10 for Tony and Henry.

And then Gareth and Norman on 22.

All very nice and close together, but Norman, you are ahead.

So we need a nice low score from you on the next pass to keep

you in the game, please. We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

So, Henry, it's countries whose names contain any of the letters

J, Q, X or Z.

It's too obvious,

but, at the moment, the only one I can think of is New Zealand.

New Zealand, says Henry. New Zealand.

Well, here is your red line.

If you happen to get below that red line with New Zealand,

you'd definitely be in the head-to-head.

Let's see many of our 100 people said New Zealand.

All of them.

Not all, by any means. Look at that, Henry.

New Zealand, 18.

APPLAUSE

There you go. 28 for New Zealand.

Yeah, interesting score, that, isn't it?

I think cos the Z is not right at the beginning,

it's lower than you would think.

It is. Thank you, Richard.

-Now, Norman, you want to be scoring 5 or less.

-Really?

-Yeah.

I'm going to have to gamble, then, aren't I? So I'm going to have to...

And I hope it is a country.

I have to go for Equatorial Guinea.

That's the one I would've gone for. Equatorial Guinea!

It's the one I had all stored up and ready to go

when Richard asked at the end what I was going to go for.

-If I'm wrong, Gareth, I am so terribly sorry.

-Equatorial Guinea.

Great answer, I think. Who knows?

There's your red line.

If you can get below that with Equatorial Guinea,

into the head-to-head you go.

You got it! Look at that, 2 for Equatorial Guinea, Norman.

APPLAUSE

Beautiful teamwork on the middle podium,

taking your total up to 24. Very well done.

Very well played, Norman. They are good, Norman and Gareth, aren't they?

-A terrific answer.

-Equatorial Guinea, there we go.

-It's got a Q in it.

-There we go.

And it is very much a country. Look at that.

Mary, Mary, lovely low score from Jayne in the first pass there,

which means 22 or less

gets you through.

I'm going to go for Zaire.

Zaire, says Mary.

Zaire. Now, here is your red line.

Nice and high, but you have to get below that with Zaire.

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many people said it.

Oh!

Oh, Jayne, I'm sorry!

That would've been a brilliant answer.

-It would have been. I'm afraid no longer is...

-It's not a country?

No longer. That scores you 100 points.

-I'm sorry, takes your total to 105.

-Ohh!

Yeah, sorry. It's now the Democratic Republic of Congo, Zaire.

It has been for a long time now, I'm afraid, so can't accept it.

It has got a Z in it,

I will give you that.

It has got a Z in it, but not a country any more.

Now, the only pointless answer in the whole world...

Country containing those letters - Tajikistan.

Tajikistan. Very well done if you said that.

A couple of low-scorers.

1 point, Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan, both would've scored you 1.

2 points, we already heard Equatorial Guinea from Norman.

You also could have had Fiji, Djibouti

and Bosnia and Herzegovina.

3 points for Belize and Czech Republic.

4 points for Brazil.

-That's an incredibly low score for Brazil.

-Wow, yeah.

Now, let's take a look at the top three scorers.

The ones that most of our 100 people said.

Zambia would've scored you 43.

Qatar would've scored you 46.

And right at the top, right at the top, Jamaica on 48.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair we have to say goodbye to,

I am so sorry, Mary and Jayne.

Lovely to have you on the show, but with your high score of 105,

I'm afraid we say goodbye.

Wonderful contestants. Mary and Jayne, everyone!

APPLAUSE

But, for Gareth and Norman, and Tony and Henry,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Well, many congratulations, Gareth and Norman, Henry and Tony.

You're now one step closer to the final and a chance to

play for our jackpot, which currently stands at £2,500.

There we are.

WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE

So we've reached the point where we decide which pair goes through

to the final to play for that jackpot.

And we do that by making you go head-to-head.

But the good news is, you can start conferring from here on in.

You can have a good chat before you give your answers.

Best of luck to both players. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question. And it concerns...

Actors when they were young.

We're going to show you five pictures now of actors when they were young.

You just need to tell us the most obscure of these five, please.

Thanks very much. Let's reveal our five young actors. Here they are.

There we are. Five actors when they were young.

Gareth and Norman, you're our low-scorers, so you will go first.

Just trying to see what the scarf is on C. Might be a clue there.

Millwall, maybe?

Erm...

A looks like...

Yeah, go for A.

A, we think it's Leonardo DiCaprio.

Leonardo DiCaprio, say Gareth and Norman for A.

Now, Tony and Henry, do you want to talk us

through the rest of the board?

-No.

-Not particularly, no.

-No? You could just do...

We were in trouble.

We thought that was Jason Donovan, A, so we were in trouble.

How can you tell the little fella in the stripy shirt at the beach?

-How do you know what he's going to look like?

-I think it's a girl!

-Isn't it?

-Well, you see what I mean!

-Yeah. Shall we go with our E one?

-It's a safe...

-E.

-Yeah.

We think... Well, Henry got this.

-No, no, don't blame me if it's wrong!

-No, I think it's right.

I think E, Hugh Grant.

E, Hugh Grant.

OK. So we have Leonardo DiCaprio and Hugh Grant.

Now, Gareth and Norman said A was Leonardo DiCaprio.

Let's see if that's right. Maybe it is Jason Donovan after all!

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Leonardo DiCaprio.

It is Leonardo DiCaprio.

-70.

-Wow!

APPLAUSE

Surprised me that it's 70.

OK, now, Tony and Henry have said that E is Hugh Grant.

-See, that's not who I thought it was.

-Oh, really?

-No.

-Who did you think it was? Just for some jeopardy.

-Russell Crowe.

-LAUGHTER

-HENRY:

-Russell Crowe?!

-Yes!

God, if this is Russell Crowe, I'm leaving.

I thought it was Geoff Hurst!

Paul McCartney?

Let's find out who it is. Is it Hugh Grant?

Yes, it's Hugh Grant. And it wins you the point.

46, very well done indeed, Henry and Tony.

Very good work. After one question, Henry and Tony, you are up 1-nil.

-Russell Crowe!

-It could've been!

Now, let's start with D. D is...

Kirsten Dunst.

Kirsten Dunst, very well done.

Yeah, she would have scored you 13.

Now, C, the scarf is a clue, actually...

Danny Dyer? Too late.

Danny Dyer is the right answer, yes.

Would've been a terrific answer. Would've scored you 33.

Now, B... Now, Henry and Tony, I need an agreement with you.

-Do you think that is a man or a woman?

-A woman.

Well, this one, that is Marilyn Monroe.

-Ah!

-Ah, yes, that changes things, doesn't it? Marilyn Monroe aged four.

I have to say, though, one of our 100 people

said it was Jeremy Clarkson.

LAUGHTER

So, two points for Marilyn Monroe.

Could be... I'll tell you who it looks a bit like - Russell Crowe.

LAUGHTER

OK, here comes your second question.

Henry and Tony get to answer it first,

but Gareth and Norman, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

Best of luck. It concerns...

Richard.

We're going to show you the names of five British seaside resorts now

but they are in anagram form, I'm afraid.

-Can you unscramble them and tell us where they are?

-Ah, ah!

OK, so let's reveal our five jumbled-up seaside towns and cities,

and here they are.

I'll read those all again.

Henry and Tony, you'll go first.

(Team Rag got to be the easiest.)

-Do you know who it is?

-No.

Erm...

We think the bottom one, which is

probably the easiest, is Margate.

Margate...say Henry and Tony.

Now then, Gareth and Norman.

We're going to have to go for the first one,

which we think is Great Yarmouth.

So we have Margate, Great Yarmouth.

Henry and Tony have said Margate - let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said it.

Margate...

Not bad, 52.

Gareth and Norman, you have to win this one.

Great Yarmouth, let's see if that'll do it for you.

It's right.

Well done.

You're back in the game, Gareth and Norman.

-After two questions, it's 1-1. Very exciting.

-It's a good one, isn't it?

Couple of answers, actually, that would have beaten Great Yarmouth.

The middle one wouldn't have - that, ironically, is Brighton. Big North.

Would have scored you 38. Nude Host?

-Southend.

-Ah...

-That would have scored you 16.

Now, the best answer on the board is Goobers Grin.

Bognor Regis.

LAUGHING: Bognor Regis, yep.

-And that would have scored 10.

-There we go, thank you very much indeed.

OK, here comes the decider, whoever wins this third question goes

through to the final and plays for that jackpot for their charities.

Best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

-Richard.

-Yep, we're going to show you five occasions

that take place in the same month each year, just need you to

tell us the name of the month any of these occurs in, please.

Very best of luck.

OK, so let's reveal our events, and here they are.

Gareth and Norman will go first.

THEY WHISPER INDISTINCTLY

(Edinburgh Fringe is August.)

(That's for sure.)

(How many people would know that?)

(Shall we go for that, cos we know it's true and it's not Halloween?)

Edinburgh Fringe festival, August.

August, say Gareth and Norman.

Now then, Henry and Tony...

Well, we might have gone for that.

Been there a few times.

I, tragically, don't know when International Women's Day is.

Nor do I.

-I'm glad there is one, though.

-Shouldn't every day be women's day?

LAUGHTER AND CHEERING

Doesn't matter whether we win or not now, we've got so many friends.

Halloween is not our answer,

but we think it's October.

VE Day we think is June,

and St George's Day we think

is April, is that right?

-Hmm.

-So which one?

I think St George's Day.

Shall we go with it?

-Go, give it a go.

-St George's Day.

-We don't know when it is. No, April.

-April.

-April.

So we have August and we have April.

Gareth and Norman said the Edinburgh Fringe Festival

was in August every year.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

Henry and Tony have said that St George's Day is in April,

let's see how many people knew that.

It's right. Ooh!

Very well done indeed, Gareth and Norman. Double trophy time.

After three questions, you're through to the final - 2-1.

Very well played, gents,

that was a race to the Edinburgh Festival, I know Tony would

have known that as well, I'm sure you've all performed there.

There is actually an answer that would have beaten it.

Not VE Day, VE Day is May.

That would have scored you 59.

Halloween is of course October,

that would have scored you a very scary 96.

International Women's Day

is in March,

and it's the best answer up there

as you might expect,

would have scored you 16 points.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

Henry and Tony.

Well, a stalwart performance, I have to say, very, very close,

might you have punted for International Women's Day?

-No.

-Wouldn't have had a clue.

But you kind of won anyway with your lovely comment there, Henry.

You just have to come back and go one better next time.

-We certainly will.

-It's been such a treat having you on the show.

-Thank you so much. Henry and Tony.

-Pleasure. Thank you.

But for Gareth and Norman, it's now time for our Pointless final.

AUDIENCE: Woo!

Well done, Gareth and Norman, you've done it again!

You've fought off all the competition and you have each won -

for the second time in your Pointless careers -

a Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

for your charities, and at the end of today's show

the jackpot is standing at...

There we are.

Just astonishing, great, very assured performance

all the way through, low scoring every round.

And now what do you want to see in this last round?

Entertainment-based, perhaps...

Literature, maybe, we know a little about that, but...

Who knows? Sport would be my main one, but we've had sport already.

-Well, sport might be up there, you never know.

-It could.

Let's see what today's selection looks like,

let's hope there's something you like the look of.

-HE SIGHS

-Well, we've got...

-That's fun.

-I wonder what Norman's veering towards(!)

What would you go for?

American singer-songwriters.

Oh, well, you know, my specialist subject has never been the letter O.

I'm under pressure now.

You choose, and I'll go with whatever you choose.

OK, we're going to go with sportsmen.

Sportsmen with surnames beginning with the letter O. OK.

I think you won the jackpot on sport last time,

-was it a golf question?

-Yeah.

Well, fingers crossed this time, no golf but three different sports.

We are looking for...

Any professional football club that Martin O'Neill

has played for or managed during his career.

Any professional football club he's played for or managed.

That's club or international.

Any nation who Brian O'Driscoll has scored

a try against playing for Ireland.

Or any player who Ronnie O'Sullivan has

beaten during one of his World Championship years,

during one of the five times he won the World Championship.

So teams that Martin O'Neill has played for or managed,

teams against whom Brian O'Driscoll has scored a try

or people Ronnie O'Sullivan beat

on the way to his World Championship wins.

Very best of luck.

As always you've got up to one minute to come up with

three answers and all you need to win that jackpot for your charities

-is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock, your time starts now.

We can choose any one of them, Gareth, so we could choose

two countries beginning with O that Brian O'Driscoll has...

Have you got any ideas for that?

-O'Driscoll tries...

-Yeah.

-Eh... New Zealand, the All Blacks.

-Doesn't begin with O.

-They don't have to begin with O.

-Oh! So, eh...

Right, so definitely New Zealand, the All Blacks.

He's scored against all the home nations, Scotland...

Choose somebody more obscure.

-So Italy or Portugal.

-Samoa.

Italy, Portugal... Who else is pretty obscure? Spain.

Who they would have played, so Argentina.

That's more obvious, yeah, Australia obviously.

-I think...

-Ten seconds left.

We'll go for the obscure ones.

OK, so I'll go for Italy.

OK, we don't have to do it until Xander tells us, so...

And he's going to tell us NOW.

-THEY LAUGH

-OK, your time is now up.

Gareth, Norman, what are your three answers going to be?

I think we're going to go for Brian O'Driscoll

scoring against countries.

-Italy...

-Italy.

-I'm going to go for Samoa.

-Samoa.

-(Romania?)

-OK.

-Romania.

-OK.

Now, of those three, your best shot at a pointless answer would be..?

-Probably Romania.

-Let's put Romania last. Least likely to be pointless?

-Italy.

-OK, let's pop those up on the board in that order, then,

and here they are. We've got...

Very best of luck, three good answers on the board there,

let's hope at least one of those is pointless

and wins you that jackpot for your charities.

Gareth, what charity are you playing for?

The British Heart Foundation, which, I think we're all

very aware of how worthy it is,

-and the more money, the better.

-Quite right.

-Norman.

-Meningitis Research Foundation.

My daughter Holly had meningitis when she was four weeks old

and is disabled because of it, so that's my charity.

Very good.

Two worthy causes there, let's hope one of these answers

will win you that jackpot to share between them.

OK, your first answer was Italy - in this case, in fact,

in all causes we were looking for nations against whom

Brian O'Driscoll has scored a try.

Only one of these answers has to be pointless for you

to win that jackpot.

For £2,500, let's see how many people said Italy.

It's right.

Now, if this goes all the way down to zero,

we can send you home with that jackpot straightaway.

Down it goes, through the twenties.

27 for Italy.

OK, only two more shots at today's jackpot. Your next answer was Samoa.

Again, we're looking for countries against whom Brian O'Driscoll

has scored a try. Has to be pointless.

So, for £2,500, let's see how many people said Samoa.

-Didn't score any, Samoa.

-Ooh, hasn't scored against Samoa.

Which means everything is now riding on

your third and final answer, which is Romania.

Again, countries against whom Brian O'Driscoll has scored a try.

Let's see how many people said Samoa.

If it's pointless, it wins you £2,500. Good luck.

It's right.

Now, Italy took us all the way down to 27,

Samoa turned out to be incorrect, but Romania now taking us

way past 27, into single figures, still going down...

ALL: Ohh!

Ohh!

-Unlucky, mate.

-A good effort.

-I tell you what, that's a fantastic score.

Tragically not pointless, though, which would have just been perfect.

A double jackpot win for you.

You do get a Pointless trophy each, though, so there you are.

Bookends, as we said before.

NORMAN LAUGHS

But I tell you what, as it's a celebrity show

and each celebrity pair is playing for a nominated charity,

we are going to donate £500 to each pair

-to split between their charities, so there we are.

-Thank you.

A gesture from us.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers.

Let's start with Martin O'Neill.

He started his management career at Grantham Town,

started his playing career at Lisburn Distillery...

Gents, I cannot believe you didn't say Shepshed Charterhouse.

LAUGHTER

Now known as Shepshed Dynamo, of course, they had a rebrand.

But even some obscure answers people at home would have thought

were absolute bankers for pointless answers, you have Fulham,

Notts County, Chesterfield, all would have scored you one.

Wycombe Wanderers, six, and then up from there.

Brian O'Driscoll, there's only one pointless answer,

it is one of the very minor nations

that play rugby union, and it's Namibia.

So some people might have guessed it

but I suspect lots of people would have said Romania.

You think of those very obscure teams who do play tests occasionally.

Now, snooker, there are eight pointless answers here,

so snooker fans might have

got some of these.

Stephen Maguire probably the most famous answer on the list,

he was a pointless answer.

Anthony Hamilton, David Harold and Liu Chuang,

all of those are pointless answers, very, very well done today

if you got one, and tough luck in the studio, I thought

they were particularly difficult.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you,

Gareth and Norman, but we have loved having you on the show, fabulous.

-Come back, come and win a third time.

-Yeah, great pleasure.

Gareth and Norman.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well, join us next time

when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE