Special 3 Pointless Celebrities


Special 3

Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman present a special celebrity edition of the quiz featuring Tim Vine, Terry Alderton, Tracy-Ann Oberman and David Schneider.


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Transcript


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APPLAUSE

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Thank you very much indeed.

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Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and a very warm welcome

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to Pointless Celebrities, the show where the aim of the game

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is to avoid the obvious answers and find the obscure ones.

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Let's meet today's Pointless celebrities.

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And couple number one.

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My name's Tim Vine. I'm a comedian.

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I'm Tim Vine. I'm also...

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I'm sorry, I'm Terry Alderton and I'm also a comedian.

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APPLAUSE

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Couple number two.

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I'm Tracy-Ann and I'm an actress and writer from London.

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I'm David Schneider. I am an actor, writer,

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but I spend most of my time on Twitter,

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where people think I'm David Schwimmer.

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Couple number three.

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I'm Richard Coles and I'm an astronaut.

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I'm a vicar, but I also...

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I'm the only vicar who's had a number one record

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cos I was in The Communards.

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Well, mine's going to be really dull.

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I'm Julia Hartley-Brewer. I'm a columnist and broadcaster.

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And finally, couple number four.

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I'm Arthur Smith, internationally famous,

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semiprofessional comedian and mayor of all Balham.

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LAUGHTER

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I'm Arlene Phillips, often known as The Dancing Queen

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and sometimes known as She Who Must Be Obeyed.

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Well, thank you very much, all of you.

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We will find out more about you throughout the show

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as it goes along. That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

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If he were a cocktail, he'd be strong, sweet...and in glasses.

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It's my Pointless friend. It's Richard.

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Hiya. Evening, everybody.

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-Good evening to you.

-Good evening.

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-How are you?

-I'm extremely well.

-This is a fun line-up.

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We've got someone on each team who's played the show before.

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On two and four, we've got Arlene and David.

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They've both played before. Both very solid.

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But one and three is where the big story is, really.

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Very, very different shows, our returners have had.

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Julia got through to the jackpot round, won the jackpot.

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-Get in!

-Won the jackpot, and now teaming up with

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-the Reverend Richard...

-This loser!

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..who we've tried to get on so many times.

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Certainly a lot of pressure on you, Richard, I'm afraid.

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So, Julia - very, very strong player.

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On podium one, we've got Tim.

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-Yeah, what?

-Been on before, haven't you, Tim?

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I have been on before, yes. Let's leave it there.

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-It was so brief that people may have forgotten.

-It was very brief.

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-On for one round, joined the 200 Club.

-Yes.

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Well, I've grown a slight beard in order to be in disguise.

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I was hoping you wouldn't bring this up.

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Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

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Now, as usual, all of today's questions have been put

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to 100 people before the show. Our contestants here

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are looking out for those pointless answers,

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these being answers that none of our 100 people gave.

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Find one of those and we will add £250 to the jackpot.

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Now, as today's show is a celebrity special,

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each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity.

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We are going to start off with a jackpot of £2,500. There it is.

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Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

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So, all you have to remember is this -

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the pair with the highest score at the end of each round

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will be eliminated. That is all. That is the only rule,

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the cardinal rule of Pointless. Best of luck to all four pairs.

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Our first category this evening is...

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It's Pets. Can you all decide in your pairs

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who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

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And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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OK. And the question concerns...

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Fictional Dogs. Richard.

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On each board, we'll show you seven descriptions

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of famous fictional dogs from literature, film or television.

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You just need to give us the most obscure answer you can, please.

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There's going to be 14 in all to have a go at at home,

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-so best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed.

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So, we're looking for the names of the fictional dogs described

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by these clues. Here's our first board of seven.

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I'll read them one last time.

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-Terry, a very, very warm welcome to Pointless.

-Hello.

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Lovely to have you here. You started off as a goalkeeper,

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-for heaven's sake, Terry.

-Yeah, I did.

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I was a goalkeeper for Southend United.

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-The great Southend United.

-Hm. What took you from goalkeeping?

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I wasn't very good in goal and then I was probably quite funny in goal,

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so I decided that I'd end up doing impressions and jokes and stuff,

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so kind of that's where it ended up.

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-Putting you back in the firing line here, Terry.

-OK.

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What would you like to go for on this board?

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I'm going to go for the cartoon beagle

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because I know it's probably a good one to go for

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because I know not everyone knows that Charles did it.

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It was obviously Charlie Brown and it's Snoopy.

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-Snoopy.

-Yeah.

-Snoopy, says Terry.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Snoopy.

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Is that good?

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41. APPLAUSE

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41 for Snoopy.

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Surprisingly low score for Snoopy.

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He was originally going to be called Sniffy,

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but there was another cartoon dog with the same name.

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Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

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Tracy-Ann, welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here.

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-Lovely to be here.

-Now, you were in the RSC -

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the Royal Shakespeare Company to you and me.

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You were at the National, you toured with the National.

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I mean, you've done all this classical theatre.

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Everyone knows you as Chrissie Watts.

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Well, some. Or some under ten-year-olds know me

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as the woman that got turned into a cyber man

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-and who took on the Daleks.

-That's true, yes. Exactly. Good.

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You see, it's a massive demographic.

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But, you know, and lots of people remember you

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-for all your classical theatre, as well.

-You do, Xander.

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-Now, Tracy-Ann...

-Yes?

-..what are you going to go for?

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When you watch this at home,

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it's not nearly as pressurised as when you're here, and I'm torn,

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but...I don't know.

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I'm going to go for the Great Dane puppy who is nephew to Scooby-Doo

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in the cartoon series,

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and I'm going to say Scrappy-Doo.

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Scrappy-Doo, says Tracy-Ann. Let's see if that's right.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Scrappy-Doo.

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It's right.

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41 is our only score at this point.

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51 for Scrappy-Doo.

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-Is that all right? OK.

-APPLAUSE

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Well played, Tracy-Ann. More famous

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than Snoopy, mainly cos he's the worst cartoon character

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-in the history of the world.

-Literally the worst, yeah.

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Just terrible. Nobody sticks up for him. Nobody.

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Thank you very much, Richard.

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Richard, a very warm welcome to Pointless.

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Now, The Communards - you mentioned them.

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What...? I mean, they were just huge, but why did you stop?

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Why did you leave us this way?

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-Well...

-LAUGHTER

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Because I found I WAS able to say goodbye

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because, basically, I stood next to Jimmy Somerville -

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who is a hugely talented person - as a very kind of mediocre pianist.

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And when Jimmy Somerville, the super-talented person,

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decided to do something else, nobody was really interested

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in a mediocre pianist, so I had to find something new to do.

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-Really?

-That's the short answer.

-That's the short...?

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It's a very modest answer. And now you have a parish up in Finedon.

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-Finedon, that's right.

-Finedon.

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Is that yours for life or might you get posted elsewhere?

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Well, we don't get posted. You can either move on

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or you could indeed be fired under the terms

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of the Clergy Discipline Measure, many of which I'm infringing

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merely by being on this programme, I must say.

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-LAUGHTER

-So, who knows? I think it's unlikely

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that I'm going to find myself in a bishop's palace.

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Now, Richard, Pet Dogs. Are you happy with Pet Dogs, by the way?

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-Our fictional pet dogs?

-Well, I adore pet dogs. I have four.

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But my mind has gone immediately blank,

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but I've got a hunch that I think I might know one of them.

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I've just got this idea that The Call Of The Wild

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-had a dog in it called White Fang.

-White Fang. Now,

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there's a kind of noise, a murmur,

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that we occasionally get when someone comes up with either

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a brilliant answer or a wrong answer.

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LAUGHTER Let's find out which White Fang is.

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Is it right? How many people said White Fang?

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-Oh, no!

-Ooh, Richard.

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Richard, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

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-It scores you 100 points.

-Is that wrong?

-I'm afraid it is wrong.

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-LAUGHTER

-Yeah, sorry, Richard, he did write

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a book called White Fang, Jack London.

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That's why it's in your mind.

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I've also had the Bishop of Northampton on the phone.

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He needs to see you on Monday morning, I'm afraid.

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-LAUGHTER

-Thank you.

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-Thanks very much, Richard. Arlene, welcome back.

-Thank you.

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Lovely to have you back on Pointless, as ever.

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Now, Hot Gossip. Was that something...?

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Did you start that for fun?

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Well, it started because, in the '70s,

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I was teaching jazz and it was, like, really hot

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and then I would put on my television

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and all any dancer seemed to do was...smile.

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And I wondered why they kept smiling

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cos when you dance, you're in another world.

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So, I got together my best pupils, put them together and I said,

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"Right, we're going to create a group that's about living.

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"It's going to be sexy and hot."

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And for three years, every director went, "Too sexy for TV,"

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until somebody saw our photograph and went,

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"I'm doing a Kenny Everett Video Show."

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And everyone thought we were famous overnight

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because we made the front page of every paper

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cos we were too sexy for TV.

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Thank you. We have you to thank for all our hot dancers to this day.

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-Marvellous, Arlene. Thank you. Now, this board is all yours.

-Yes,

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I see.

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I would hope that Mickey Mouse's pet dog was

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-Pluto.

-Pluto, says Arlene.

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Let's see if that's right for Mickey Mouse's pet dog.

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How many people said Pluto?

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It is right.

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Ooh, look at that. Pluto - 46. APPLAUSE

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-Not bad at all, Arlene. 46 for Pluto.

-Well played, Arlene.

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It's very weird for a mouse to have a pet dog.

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-It is.

-What's that about?

-It is, but also the scale

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-is entirely wrong.

-Yeah. I tell you, Walt Disney,

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-I don't think it's going to get anywhere.

-I don't think it is.

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Let's fill in the rest of these, shall we?

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The dog who accompanies Dorothy is the biggest answer

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-on the board.

-Toto.

-Toto. That would have scored you 73.

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The dog whose dream was featured in an episode of Neighbours?

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-Bouncer.

-Bouncer, absolutely. Good answer, as well. 26 points.

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The boarhound who's Hagrid's pet,

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that is Fang. 10 points for that.

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And so the Jack London novel, the dog is called Buck.

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It's the best answer on the board, as well.

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-Would have scored you 2 points.

-Thank you, Richard. Well, we're

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halfway through the round, so let's take a look at those scores.

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41, Terry. There you are. Best score of the round.

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-Well done, Terrance.

-Terry and Tim looking very strong.

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Then we go up to 46 where we find Arlene and Arthur.

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51 - Tracy-Ann and David. And then 100 - Richard and Julia.

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Who knows what the next board is going to be like.

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Might be many more hundreds, you never know.

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Julia, if we have a low score from you, at least you're

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in with a shout. We'll come back down the line.

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Can the second players please step up to the podium?

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OK, let's put seven more descriptions

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of fictional dogs up on the board, and here they come. We've got...

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I'll read those all one final time.

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-Arthur, welcome to Pointless.

-I am delighted to be here.

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Not as delighted as we are to have you. A true...

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-No, this is the greatest day of my life.

-Well now, come now.

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-We've had Tony Hawks on the show.

-Yes.

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And Tony, as you know, does these wonderful,

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incredibly lucrative ventures which are sparked off by bets.

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Obviously, he's taken a fridge round Ireland,

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he's played all the Moldovan football team at tennis.

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I don't know, I always thought this sort of mythical bet thing

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was just a ruse, but no, you are. You're the better.

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Well, I certainly was on the Moldovan tennis one,

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and, genuinely, it did happen.

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He went off to Moldova and lived there for a while.

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And finally did beat them all.

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So I lost the bet and therefore had to sing the Moldovan national anthem

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-naked on Balham High Road.

-LAUGHTER

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Just a normal Saturday night, really.

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Yeah, well, I mean, I would have been doing it anyway.

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Arthur, you are on 46. If you can manage to score 53 or less,

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you're straight into the next round.

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Well, my knowledge of fictional dogs

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is... I have a PhD in it.

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So, I'd say I'm going to go with the bottom one there.

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I think that Tintin, his dog

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-was Snowy.

-Snowy, says Arthur.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Snowy.

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There's your red line. Get below that, you're in Round Two.

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Let's see how many people said Snowy.

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It's right.

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Very well done indeed.

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37.

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APPLAUSE Taking your total up to 83.

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-You're into Round Two.

-Well played, Arthur.

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Very well done. Straight through.

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Yeah, sold over

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230 million books worldwide.

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-That's enough, isn't it?

-Yeah, that'll do you.

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-That's enough to be getting on with.

-Wow.

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Yeah, thank you.

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Now, Julia, welcome back.

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You've ended up as a sort of political journalist, haven't you?

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That seems to be your bag. Did you intend to go in that direction?

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I did. I always wanted to do it.

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I quite like the idea of being a politician,

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but I don't like people very much, so...

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-That doesn't seem to preclude being a politician.

-No, that's true.

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-You could get ordained.

-LAUGHTER

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Now, Julia, you are our high-scorer on 100,

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which means we definitely need a low score.

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I'm going to go for the dog created by Eric Hill,

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which, I think, but now, of course, at this moment of pressure,

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I now don't think I'm very sure, is Spot.

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Spot. Eric Hill's creation Spot. Let's see if it's right.

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Let's see how many people said it.

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No red line, as you're our high-scorers.

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It's right.

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That could be a very good score,

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Julia, and exactly what you need.

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24. 124...

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APPLAUSE ..is your total.

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That could be enough to keep you in the game.

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Well played, Julia. Kept yourself in it there. Yeah, he's...

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My kids used to read the Spot books. He used to draw

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a lot of aircraft, Eric Hill,

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and the markings on Spot, on his body and tail,

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are the same as aircraft markings if you look closely.

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-That's a nice one, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-A nice little hidden thing there

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for aircraft enthusiasts.

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There we are. Thank you very much.

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-David, welcome back to Pointless.

-Thank you.

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I think you were in the head-to-head last time.

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-I got as far as the head-to-head.

-Yeah, not bad at all.

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-Then humiliated by Paul Whitehouse and Charlie Higson.

-Yeah, yeah.

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-It still hurts.

-Two of my favourite on-screen Tonys.

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-Of course, Hayers and le Mesmer are the two I'm thinking of.

-Ah, yes.

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Tony Hayers, the great commissioning editor of the BBC.

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And I think it's Tony Hall now, which is quite close to Tony Hayers.

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There you are. And you've been directing, as well, now.

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-Oh, yes.

-You've been doing Josh Widdicombe's new sitcom.

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Yes, yes, I now help the youngsters,

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help the youngsters to be funny from the other side of the camera.

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Yeah, so, I've done with Josh Widdicombe and Jack Dee in it

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-and I think it's funny.

-Excellent.

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Look forward to that very much. Now, David, you're currently on 51.

0:16:090:16:12

If you can score 72 or less, you're into the next round.

0:16:120:16:16

Right. The stuff that you think is definitely right,

0:16:160:16:20

when you're here, you just don't know,

0:16:200:16:22

but I think I will go for the dog by Robbie Jackson,

0:16:220:16:24

who was my favourite member of The Jackson 5,

0:16:240:16:28

-is Wellard.

-Wellard, says David.

0:16:280:16:30

Wellard. Here's your red line. If you get below this red line

0:16:300:16:33

with Wellard, you're through to the next round. How many people said it?

0:16:330:16:36

It's a good answer, and through you go.

0:16:390:16:41

Very well done.

0:16:410:16:42

33. APPLAUSE

0:16:440:16:46

Taking your total up to 84.

0:16:460:16:48

Yeah, he was on the show for 14 years, Wellard.

0:16:500:16:52

It was three different dogs, though.

0:16:520:16:54

-Thanks, Richard. Now, Tim.

-Yes.

-Tim.

0:16:540:16:57

-Welcome, welcome.

-Let's make this a long chat. I think I'm going home.

0:16:570:17:00

LAUGHTER Now, Tim, every year,

0:17:000:17:03

at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival,

0:17:030:17:05

-they have this sort of best joke of the festival. The best joke.

-Yes.

0:17:050:17:09

And pretty much always, it's you who wins it.

0:17:090:17:12

-No, I've won it twice.

-Have you?

-Yeah.

0:17:120:17:15

Maybe you've been runner-up millions of times.

0:17:150:17:17

Oh, well, that's the story of my life, yeah. Except tonight.

0:17:170:17:20

Do you ever find they pick the gag that you think,

0:17:200:17:22

"Hang on, that wasn't even my favourite gag"?

0:17:220:17:25

Yeah, that does happen. Yeah, yeah.

0:17:250:17:26

-Tim, you're on 41.

-It's been lovely being here.

0:17:260:17:29

Still, Julia and Richard - 124. 82 or less is what we need from you.

0:17:290:17:32

Do you fancy talking us through that board?

0:17:320:17:34

I can talk you through the heroic collie.

0:17:340:17:36

That's the one I know.

0:17:360:17:38

I knew Snowy and I knew the heroic collie and that was it.

0:17:380:17:41

So, I'm going to go for, and just hope it's...

0:17:410:17:44

And I apologise, Terry, cos Snoopy was a great...

0:17:440:17:47

If this isn't enough, it's only gone wrong again.

0:17:470:17:50

But I'm going Lassie.

0:17:500:17:52

Lassie, says Tim. Lassie.

0:17:520:17:53

Here is your red line. You have to get below this red line with Lassie.

0:17:530:17:57

Richard and Julia, will he do it?

0:17:570:17:59

-Yes.

-Lassie - how many people said it?

0:17:590:18:01

It's right. You've done it!

0:18:030:18:05

Very easily. 56. APPLAUSE

0:18:060:18:08

56 for Lassie takes your total up to 97.

0:18:080:18:12

Very well played, Tim.

0:18:130:18:14

And Lassie, or Pal, was trained by Rudd Weatherwax.

0:18:140:18:18

-Yes.

-Oh, I knew that.

-That, you knew.

0:18:180:18:21

-Rudd Weatherwax. That's a good name, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

0:18:210:18:24

Let's take a look at the rest of these.

0:18:240:18:26

The talking dog apparently killed in an episode of Family Guy

0:18:260:18:29

is Brian. Brian Griffin.

0:18:290:18:31

Would have scored you 27.

0:18:310:18:33

Jon Arbuckle's dog is...?

0:18:330:18:35

-Odie.

-Odie. Yeah, another very good answer. 12 points for that.

0:18:350:18:38

And this is the best answer.

0:18:380:18:39

It's a dog which literally has a watch for a body,

0:18:390:18:42

and it's called Tock and that would have scored you 1 point.

0:18:420:18:45

Very well done if you got that.

0:18:450:18:47

And well done to the person in our 100 who got it, as well.

0:18:470:18:49

Interesting. Thank you very much.

0:18:490:18:51

At the end of our first round, the pair heading home

0:18:510:18:53

with their high score of 124, it's our reigning champion Julia

0:18:530:18:57

and our newcomer Richard. You just have to come back.

0:18:570:19:00

Far, far too soon to be dismissing you,

0:19:000:19:03

but it's been lovely having you here.

0:19:030:19:04

-Julia and Richard.

-Thank you.

0:19:040:19:06

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

0:19:090:19:12

Well done, all of you!

0:19:180:19:19

Julia, our reigning champion has been sent away, back to hospitality.

0:19:190:19:23

As the more astute of you will have realised,

0:19:230:19:25

there are now only three pairs.

0:19:250:19:26

At the end of this round, it'll go down to two.

0:19:260:19:28

Our category for Round Two this evening is...

0:19:280:19:31

-Oh, blimey.

-Chemical Elements.

0:19:330:19:34

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second?

0:19:340:19:37

I know nothing.

0:19:370:19:39

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

0:19:390:19:41

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

0:19:440:19:47

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

0:19:470:19:49

to name as many chemical elements beginning with a letter

0:19:490:19:53

in the second half of the alphabet as they could.

0:19:530:19:56

Chemical elements beginning with a letter

0:19:560:19:57

in the second half of the alphabet.

0:19:570:19:59

I do like it when we reveal a category

0:19:590:20:01

and you hear all six people going, "Oh, no!"

0:20:010:20:03

We're looking for any element on the periodic table as of March 2015

0:20:040:20:08

that starts with any letter between N and Z, please.

0:20:080:20:11

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed. OK.

0:20:110:20:14

Chemical elements from the second half of the alphabet.

0:20:140:20:17

-Tim.

-Potassium.

-Potassium, says Tim.

0:20:170:20:20

Let's see how many of our 100 people said potassium.

0:20:200:20:23

It's right.

0:20:260:20:27

32. APPLAUSE

0:20:310:20:33

-This is good. 32 for potassium.

-Yeah, tough on

0:20:330:20:37

that first podium. The symbol is K,

0:20:370:20:39

which isn't in the first half of the alphabet, so what's that all about?

0:20:390:20:43

-Tracy-Ann.

-Oh.

-Tracy-Ann.

-Xander.

0:20:430:20:47

-I didn't devise this.

-Don't ask a thespian anything about chemicals.

0:20:480:20:52

I'm going to take a stab on this because I think,

0:20:520:20:55

a story of a Russian poisoning spy thing,

0:20:550:20:59

and it had a thing in it that I think was a chemical

0:20:590:21:02

and I'm going to say polonium.

0:21:020:21:06

-Polonium.

-Yes.

-Polonium, says Tracy-Ann.

-Polonium.

0:21:060:21:09

Let's see how many of our 100 people said polonium.

0:21:090:21:11

-Come on!

-It's right! Well done.

0:21:130:21:16

32 is our only score at the moment

0:21:160:21:18

and you've passed that.

0:21:180:21:20

-Oh!

-2.

-Ho-ho!

-APPLAUSE

0:21:210:21:24

Very well done indeed.

0:21:250:21:27

Polonium.

0:21:270:21:28

Very well played, Tracy-Ann. Terrific answer.

0:21:290:21:31

That show, Saturday Night At The London Polonium

0:21:310:21:34

was very short-lived.

0:21:340:21:35

LAUGHTER Thank you very much indeed.

0:21:350:21:39

Arthur.

0:21:390:21:41

Yes, my father-in-law was a chemist.

0:21:410:21:43

I'm trying to channel him.

0:21:430:21:45

But I'm going to go further on up the alphabet and go for

0:21:450:21:51

something that's also rather dangerous, uranium.

0:21:510:21:54

Uranium, says Arthur.

0:21:540:21:55

Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people said uranium.

0:21:550:21:59

32 at the moment is our high score.

0:22:020:22:04

You've passed 32.

0:22:050:22:07

18 for uranium. APPLAUSE

0:22:070:22:09

-Not bad at all.

-Not as good as yours.

-Well played, Arthur.

0:22:100:22:13

-Yeah, named after Uranus.

-Thank you very much indeed.

0:22:130:22:15

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

0:22:150:22:18

Well done, Tracy-Ann and David. Lovely, low score there. 2.

0:22:180:22:22

Then up to 18, where we find Arthur and Arlene.

0:22:220:22:25

Then up to 32, Tim and Terry.

0:22:250:22:27

Terry, you're not way out ahead, but a nice, low score from you

0:22:270:22:30

might just keep you in the game.

0:22:300:22:32

Best of luck with that. We'll come back down the line now.

0:22:320:22:34

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

0:22:340:22:36

Arlene, any chemical element whose name begins with a letter

0:22:400:22:45

from the second half of the alphabet.

0:22:450:22:47

Well, it's not exactly a chemical element,

0:22:470:22:50

but you can make it with chemicals.

0:22:500:22:54

-A flame.

-APPLAUSE

0:22:540:22:57

There's your red line etc.

0:22:570:23:00

Let's see how many people said a flame.

0:23:000:23:04

-No, bad luck. Sorry, Arlene.

-I'm sorry!

-Scores you 100 points.

0:23:070:23:10

-Takes your total up to 118.

-Never mind, darling.

0:23:100:23:12

You may still be in,

0:23:120:23:14

you never know. It's all in Terry's hands.

0:23:140:23:16

Sorry, Arlene. We enjoyed the answer, though.

0:23:160:23:19

I don't technically know why it's not a correct answer.

0:23:190:23:21

Perhaps Arthur's father-in-law maybe would be able to fill us in.

0:23:210:23:24

-There must be a reason.

-Thank you very much, Richard. David.

0:23:240:23:28

-David.

-I think I'll play safe and say sodium.

0:23:280:23:32

Sodium, says David. No red line. You're already through.

0:23:320:23:35

Let's see how many of our 100 people said sodium.

0:23:350:23:38

Not bad at all.

0:23:440:23:45

There we are. 20 for sodium.

0:23:450:23:47

-APPLAUSE

-Well done!

-22, your total.

0:23:470:23:49

The average human consumes 10g of salt a day, and we only need 3g.

0:23:510:23:55

-Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

-Xander...

-Yes?

0:23:550:23:59

..I really want a kebab.

0:23:590:24:01

Well, I tell you, give it a couple of minutes, you can have one.

0:24:010:24:04

LAUGHTER

0:24:040:24:06

APPLAUSE

0:24:080:24:10

Or not. Terry, who knows?

0:24:120:24:15

We need 85 or less from you.

0:24:150:24:17

Well, I could be wrong.

0:24:170:24:19

I think, possibly, I'm going to go for quinine.

0:24:190:24:22

-Quinine?

-Yeah.

0:24:240:24:25

-There goes your shawarma, I'm afraid, Arthur.

-Yeah.

0:24:250:24:29

-LAUGHTER

-Quinine's a good one.

0:24:290:24:31

-Quinine.

-Yeah.

-Quinine?

0:24:320:24:34

-Yeah.

-Well, there's your red line. Let's find out, is it right?

0:24:340:24:37

I'm so sorry, Terry.

0:24:420:24:44

-I'm afraid quinine...

-I was trying to be clever.

0:24:440:24:46

-Why?

-..not an element.

-Because... I didn't know, did I?

0:24:460:24:49

LAUGHTER

0:24:490:24:52

-That scores you 100 points. 132.

-Yeah, not an element, I'm afraid.

0:24:520:24:56

You only sing when you're quinine, but not in this case.

0:24:560:24:59

There are quite a few pointless answers. Let's take a look at them.

0:24:590:25:02

-Samarium is quite a new one, isn't it?

-Hmm.

0:25:100:25:12

Don't remember that one.

0:25:120:25:13

There we are. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:25:180:25:20

At the end of our second round, the pair who are heading home...

0:25:200:25:23

There was drama there, though.

0:25:230:25:24

Arthur and Arlene back in the game, which is exciting.

0:25:240:25:27

But it means, Terry and Tim, with your high score of 132,

0:25:270:25:30

we have to say goodbye to you.

0:25:300:25:32

Come back and do it again.

0:25:320:25:33

-You've done twice as well as you did last time.

-A round further.

0:25:330:25:36

Take that away. Terry and Tim. APPLAUSE

0:25:360:25:39

Thanks very much. Sorry, Tim.

0:25:390:25:41

But for David and Tracy-Ann, Arthur and Arlene,

0:25:410:25:44

it's now time for our head-to-head.

0:25:440:25:45

Very well done. David and Tracy-Ann, Arlene and Arthur,

0:25:500:25:53

you're now one step closer to the final

0:25:530:25:55

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

0:25:550:25:56

which currently stands at £2,500.

0:25:560:25:59

Here's the point where we decide who goes through to the final

0:26:020:26:05

and plays for that jackpot. We make you go head-to-head,

0:26:050:26:07

but you can start to play as a team now.

0:26:070:26:09

You can confer before you give your answers.

0:26:090:26:11

First player to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

0:26:110:26:14

This should be close. Best of luck to both pairs.

0:26:140:26:17

Let's play the head-to-head.

0:26:170:26:18

Here is your first question, and it is all about...

0:26:230:26:26

Robert De Niro Films, Richard.

0:26:290:26:30

I'll show you five pictures of characters played by Robert De Niro.

0:26:300:26:33

We need you to name the film these characters are from, please.

0:26:330:26:36

Very best of luck.

0:26:360:26:38

OK, let's reveal our five stills, and here they come.

0:26:380:26:41

We've got...

0:26:410:26:42

There we are. Five stills from Robert De Niro films.

0:27:070:27:11

David and Tracy-Ann, you've been our low scorers, so you will go first.

0:27:110:27:15

-WHISPERS:

-E is Travis Bickle.

0:27:150:27:17

-Yeah, yeah, it's...

-SHE WHISPERS

0:27:170:27:22

-WHISPERS:

-Which is less known?

0:27:220:27:24

THEY WHISPER

0:27:240:27:25

-Shall I say it?

-Feel free.

0:27:250:27:26

We're going to go with D, which we think

0:27:260:27:28

is The Deer Hunter.

0:27:280:27:30

The Deer Hunter, say David and Tracy-Ann.

0:27:300:27:32

Now, Arlene and Arthur,

0:27:320:27:34

do you fancy talking us through all of those pictures?

0:27:340:27:36

Yeah, I would say B is Raging Bull.

0:27:360:27:40

A is The Godfather?

0:27:400:27:43

I can't find Taxi Driver.

0:27:430:27:45

-Do we have to do all of them?

-No, I only want one.

0:27:450:27:48

-Let's go with Raging Bull, B.

-Raging Bull, sorry!

0:27:480:27:50

You want to go for B, Raging Bull.

0:27:500:27:53

OK, so, we have The Deer Hunter and we have Raging Bull.

0:27:530:27:55

David and Tracy-Ann said The Deer Hunter.

0:27:550:27:57

Let's see if that is right for D.

0:27:570:27:59

Let's how many people said The Deer Hunter.

0:27:590:28:01

SHE WHISPERS

0:28:030:28:05

-Keep going, keep going!

-That's a good answer.

0:28:080:28:10

Look at that. 19. Well done.

0:28:100:28:12

Now then, Arlene and Arthur,

0:28:160:28:18

meanwhile, have said Raging Bull for B.

0:28:180:28:20

Let's see how many people said Raging Bull.

0:28:200:28:22

It's right.

0:28:240:28:25

It's got to beat 19.

0:28:260:28:28

-No, 48 for Raging Bull.

-Oh!

-APPLAUSE

0:28:280:28:30

Well done, David and Tracy-Ann.

0:28:320:28:33

After one question, you're up 1-0.

0:28:330:28:36

Well played, David and Tracy-Ann. Taxi Driver is there.

0:28:360:28:39

It's E.

0:28:390:28:40

-The one where he's standing next to a taxi?

-Yeah.

0:28:400:28:42

-No!

-Well, he's not driving it, to be fair.

-Oh, yeah!

0:28:420:28:45

-38 points for that.

-With some driving gloves?

0:28:450:28:48

I didn't see the taxi!

0:28:500:28:52

Let's take a look at the rest.

0:28:520:28:54

A, that's him as Al Capone in...?

0:28:540:28:58

-The Untouchables.

-The Untouchables, yeah. 5 points for that.

0:28:580:29:01

Terrific answer.

0:29:010:29:02

C looks like you should know it, doesn't it?

0:29:020:29:04

It's the one with Liza Minnelli, isn't it?

0:29:040:29:06

It is. It's a Martin Scorsese film.

0:29:060:29:09

-It's called New York, New York.

-Oh, yeah!

0:29:090:29:11

Very well done if you got that. 1 point.

0:29:110:29:14

Here comes your second question.

0:29:140:29:16

Arlene and Arthur, you get to answer it first, but you have to win it

0:29:160:29:19

to stay in the game, so best of luck. It concerns...

0:29:190:29:22

-Classical Music, Richard.

-Going to play you five excerpts now

0:29:240:29:27

from five very famous pieces of classical music.

0:29:270:29:29

We need you to tell us the composers, please. Good luck.

0:29:290:29:32

OK, so, who are the composers of these pieces of music?

0:29:320:29:36

And here we have A.

0:29:360:29:38

MUSIC PLAYS

0:29:380:29:41

Here's B.

0:29:560:29:58

MUSIC PLAYS

0:29:580:30:01

Here's C.

0:30:150:30:17

MUSIC PLAYS

0:30:170:30:20

Here's D.

0:30:420:30:43

MUSIC PLAYS

0:30:430:30:46

That's, erm...

0:30:480:30:50

I know this one.

0:30:500:30:52

And here's E.

0:30:590:31:00

MUSIC PLAYS

0:31:000:31:03

SHE WHISPERS

0:31:190:31:22

There we are. You'll notice the letters in brackets there.

0:31:220:31:25

That's the initial of the composer's surname.

0:31:250:31:29

Arlene and Arthur.

0:31:290:31:31

I think we'll go with A, Wagner.

0:31:310:31:34

A, Wagner.

0:31:340:31:36

-Yeah, the Ride Of The Valkyries.

-Wagner, say Arlene and Arthur.

0:31:360:31:40

Now then, David and Tracy-Ann.

0:31:400:31:43

-We'll go for C as Elgar.

-OK, C, Elgar.

0:31:430:31:47

So, we have Wagner and we have Elgar.

0:31:470:31:48

Arlene and Arthur went for Wagner.

0:31:480:31:50

Let's see if that's right and how many people said Wagner.

0:31:500:31:53

65 for Wagner. APPLAUSE

0:31:590:32:01

Is it enough?

0:32:030:32:04

David and Tracy-Ann, you have gone for Elgar.

0:32:060:32:09

Let's see if that's right for C.

0:32:090:32:11

-No, that's 66!

-Oh!

0:32:160:32:18

I said it was going to be close. APPLAUSE

0:32:180:32:21

And that's the right result for you, Arlene and Arthur.

0:32:210:32:23

You're back in their game. After two questions, it's 1-1.

0:32:230:32:26

Very well played. It's those bottom two that'd have won you the points.

0:32:260:32:29

B is Beethoven, but would have scored far too many.

0:32:290:32:32

Would have scored you 82.

0:32:320:32:34

-Now, D.

-It's Aaron Copland.

-Aaron Copland.

0:32:350:32:37

Yeah, Fanfare For The Common Man.

0:32:370:32:40

Later covered by The Cheeky Girls, of course. 10 points for that.

0:32:400:32:43

-And E?

-It's Gustav Holst.

-Gustav Holst.

0:32:440:32:46

From The Planets Suite.

0:32:460:32:48

-20 points for that.

-Thank you very much.

0:32:480:32:51

Your third question. Whoever wins this goes through

0:32:510:32:53

to the final and plays for that jackpot.

0:32:530:32:55

Best of luck to both pairs. It is all about...

0:32:550:32:58

French Food, Richard.

0:33:000:33:02

We're going to show you the names now of five French breads,

0:33:020:33:05

cakes and pastries, but we've removed alternate letters.

0:33:050:33:07

Can you fill in the gaps, please?

0:33:070:33:09

French cakes, breads and pastries with missing bits.

0:33:090:33:12

OK, here they are. We've got...

0:33:120:33:14

I'll read those one last time.

0:33:240:33:26

Now, David and Tracy-Ann, you'll go first this time.

0:33:340:33:37

THEY WHISPER

0:33:390:33:42

-I'll just come out with it, shall I?

-Just let it out.

0:33:420:33:45

-The third one down, we think is a millefeuille.

-Millefeuille.

0:33:450:33:50

-Millefeuille.

-OK, David and Tracy-Ann are saying millefeuille.

0:33:500:33:54

Arlene and Arthur.

0:33:550:33:57

Alors, Arlene et moi,

0:33:570:34:01

on s'est decide a numero cinq.

0:34:010:34:05

Oui.

0:34:050:34:07

On est inspire par Proust.

0:34:070:34:11

-Madeleine.

-Madeleine.

0:34:110:34:13

Millefeuille and madeleine.

0:34:130:34:16

Now, David and TracyAnn said millefeuille.

0:34:160:34:18

Let's see if that's right.

0:34:180:34:19

Let's see how many of our 100 people said millefeuille.

0:34:190:34:22

-God, we went too quickly.

-No, we didn't.

0:34:220:34:25

It's right.

0:34:250:34:26

19. APPLAUSE

0:34:310:34:33

That number is good.

0:34:330:34:35

19. It's been so close this, so far.

0:34:370:34:40

I bet this is going to be close. I couldn't call this.

0:34:400:34:43

Arlene and Arthur have gone for madeleine.

0:34:430:34:45

Millefeuille scored 19.

0:34:450:34:47

Madeleine has to beat that for you to go through to the final.

0:34:470:34:50

Let's see how many of our 100 people said madeleine.

0:34:500:34:53

It's right.

0:34:550:34:56

Still going down.

0:34:590:35:00

-Ooh, 26!

-Ooh.

-APPLAUSE

0:35:000:35:03

26 for madeleine, which means

0:35:030:35:05

very well done indeed, David and Tracy-Ann.

0:35:050:35:08

After three questions, you're through to the final 2-1.

0:35:080:35:10

Very close. Very well played, both teams there.

0:35:100:35:13

Great round for Bake Off fans, this one.

0:35:130:35:15

Millefeuille - they always do it on Bake Off.

0:35:150:35:17

One answer up there that would have beaten millefeuille,

0:35:170:35:19

which we'll get onto. Up the top, it's croissant.

0:35:190:35:22

-Which would have scored you 67.

-Croque!

0:35:240:35:27

-And then we've got brioche.

-It is croque.

-43 points.

0:35:270:35:31

Now, Bake Off fans will know this one.

0:35:310:35:33

It's a huge triangle of profiteroles

0:35:330:35:36

that you join together with caramel or anything like that.

0:35:360:35:39

-They had it on the last series.

-Like Marge Simpson's hair.

0:35:390:35:42

Exactly that, and it's a croquembouche.

0:35:420:35:44

Very well done if you said that. Would have scored you 8 points.

0:35:440:35:48

-Oh!

-Very good.

0:35:480:35:49

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

0:35:490:35:52

it's Arlene and Arthur. You've done so well. Fantastic performance.

0:35:520:35:55

-Adieu, au revoir.

-Very close in the last round.

0:35:550:35:58

-Au revoir!

-Thank you so much.

0:35:580:36:00

But for David and Tracy-Ann, it's now time for our Pointless final.

0:36:000:36:04

Congratulations, David, Tracy-Ann.

0:36:090:36:12

You've fought off all the competition

0:36:120:36:14

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:36:140:36:16

-HE GASPS BOTH:

-A trophy!

0:36:220:36:24

LAUGHTER

0:36:240:36:26

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

0:36:260:36:28

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £2,500.

0:36:280:36:32

There we are.

0:36:320:36:33

Anything you'd like to see come up in this last round?

0:36:370:36:40

Nothing to do with chemicals or elements or maths.

0:36:400:36:43

-We've done that.

-Or geography.

0:36:430:36:44

Let's see what today's selection looks like. We've got...

0:36:440:36:47

-This is...

-Oh, this is a disaster.

-Awful. Rap superstars?

0:36:550:36:59

-Paintings.

-Paintings?

-What, like famous...? Any paintings?

0:36:590:37:03

Are you good at art? Do you know your art?

0:37:030:37:05

I'm better at art than sport in Leeds.

0:37:050:37:08

Do you ever go to a museum, art gallery?

0:37:080:37:10

I do know a bit about...

0:37:100:37:12

-Paintings. Let's try Paintings.

-Don't put it all on me!

0:37:120:37:15

-OK, you're going to go for Paintings.

-Are we?

0:37:150:37:17

If you do know about paintings,

0:37:170:37:18

at least one of these will be good for you.

0:37:180:37:20

Let's look at all three.

0:37:200:37:21

The first one, if you know about Picasso, it's easy, but otherwise...

0:37:210:37:25

Any words of four letters or more

0:37:250:37:27

that appear in any of the titles of Pablo Picasso's works

0:37:270:37:30

in the Tate collection, please, as of April 2015.

0:37:300:37:34

This will be an easy one if you know your art.

0:37:340:37:36

The name of any artist who has any painting

0:37:360:37:39

in the Metropolitan Museum Of Art highlight paintings of 1900-present.

0:37:390:37:43

There's about 50 or 60 artists on that list.

0:37:430:37:46

Or we are looking for anyone who appeared in the cast of

0:37:460:37:49

Girl With A Pearl Earring, according to IMDb.

0:37:490:37:51

Any actor in Girl With A Pearl Earring.

0:37:510:37:53

So, words of four letters or more

0:37:530:37:54

in the Tate collection of Pablo Picasso works -

0:37:540:37:57

the paintings, not the etchings.

0:37:570:37:58

Anyone in the Metropolitan Museum Of Art

0:37:580:38:00

highlight paintings, 1900-present.

0:38:000:38:02

And that is, of course, the New York Metropolitan Museum Of Art.

0:38:020:38:05

Or the cast of Girl With A Pearl Earring.

0:38:050:38:07

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed.

0:38:070:38:09

As always, you've got up to a minute to come up with three answers.

0:38:090:38:12

All you need to win that jackpot for your charities is for

0:38:120:38:15

just one of those answers to be pointless.

0:38:150:38:17

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

0:38:170:38:19

Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

0:38:190:38:20

There they are. Your time starts now.

0:38:200:38:22

-Is it in the title?

-Definitely. I'm sure there's a horse.

0:38:230:38:27

I don't know. It sure it's a Cubist horse. MoMA art, 1900...

0:38:270:38:31

-There'll be a Whistler, but...

-There will be a Whistler.

0:38:310:38:35

That's not going to be pointless.

0:38:350:38:37

What about the cast of Girl In The Earring?

0:38:370:38:39

-Scarlett Johansson, Colin Firth.

-But they're not pointless.

0:38:390:38:42

-I know they're not.

-Were you in it?

-I could have been in it, but no.

0:38:420:38:47

No, we know we've got an answer on that one. MoMA could be...

0:38:470:38:51

MoMA, MoMA, MoMA.

0:38:510:38:53

Going to have to go... Going to have to guess a modern artist.

0:38:530:38:57

-Just pick a...

-Just guess.

-Dufy.

0:38:570:39:01

-Is that an artist? American artist?

-No, he doesn't have to be American.

0:39:010:39:05

You didn't say he had to be American.

0:39:050:39:07

-Are we allowed to talk to you?

-No, but it's in New York.

0:39:070:39:09

-Just in the collection.

-I feel like I'm in a Woody Allen film.

0:39:090:39:12

-Ten seconds left.

-So, they don't need to be American?

0:39:120:39:14

-So, Dufy.

-Why don't we go with Dufy?

0:39:140:39:17

-AMERICAN ACCENT:

-'Go with Dufy!

-You wanna go with Dufy?'

0:39:170:39:19

And pick someone from Pearl Earring.

0:39:190:39:21

Your time is up.

0:39:210:39:23

OK, you spent so much of that doing Woody Allen impressions,

0:39:230:39:26

I'm not sure you've got any answers. What are you going to go for?

0:39:260:39:28

-Are you going to do it or shall I?

-No.

-We're going to go for Dufy.

0:39:280:39:32

-Raoul Dufy.

-Raoul Dufy. We're going to go for horse.

0:39:320:39:36

Horse. Will you say which category you're answering?

0:39:360:39:39

-The cast... No, for the word in a Pablo Picasso.

-Yeah.

0:39:390:39:43

And we're going to go for...

0:39:430:39:44

We don't have to go from each one? We can do another Picasso?

0:39:440:39:47

Thank you, David, for listening.

0:39:470:39:49

-In Picasso?

-Why not? Yes.

-And blue in Picasso.

0:39:490:39:52

Blue. Fair enough. Seems right, doesn't it?

0:39:520:39:54

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

0:39:540:39:57

Probably, if it is a real answer, it's got to be the Dufy one.

0:39:570:40:00

OK, Dufy goes last. Least likely to be pointless?

0:40:000:40:03

-Horse.

-Horse.

-Horse from the Picasso titles.

0:40:030:40:08

OK, let's pop those answers up in that order, and here they are.

0:40:080:40:11

We've got...

0:40:110:40:12

Very best of luck. Three very good answers. Three very good answers.

0:40:160:40:20

They might all be wrong, but they look great on the board.

0:40:200:40:23

Very good answers, but not necessarily to these questions.

0:40:230:40:26

If one of those were to be pointless and would win the jackpot for you,

0:40:260:40:29

-what's your charity, David?

-It's the Islington Centre For Refugees.

0:40:290:40:33

Very good indeed. Tracy-Ann?

0:40:330:40:35

My late father died of a heart attack,

0:40:350:40:37

so I'm giving my money to the British Heart Foundation.

0:40:370:40:39

Very good. Two excellent charities there.

0:40:390:40:42

We're not going to do it, though, are we?

0:40:440:40:46

Let's hope, fingers tightly crossed, that one of those answers

0:40:460:40:49

will win that jackpot for your charities.

0:40:490:40:51

In the first instance, we were looking for words

0:40:510:40:53

of four or more letters from any Picasso work in the Tate collection.

0:40:530:40:58

You went for horse.

0:40:580:40:59

This was the one you thought was probably least likely

0:40:590:41:02

to be pointless, but let's find out.

0:41:020:41:03

If it is pointless, it'll win your charities £2,500.

0:41:030:41:06

Let's find out how many people said horse.

0:41:060:41:08

-Ooh, it's right.

-Oh!

0:41:110:41:12

-Horse is good.

-We did horse.

0:41:120:41:14

-We like horse. You did horse.

-Horses!

0:41:140:41:16

-You did polonium and you've done horse.

-Come on, you horses.

0:41:160:41:18

The horse is riding us through the teens, into single figures.

0:41:180:41:21

Down it goes. Still going down. Passes 2.

0:41:210:41:23

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Straight away!

0:41:230:41:26

Brilliant. Very well done indeed.

0:41:270:41:30

-I knew it!

-Well done.

0:41:310:41:33

Brilliant! Superb.

0:41:350:41:38

Oh, yes!

0:41:390:41:41

-We won on horse!

-Congratulations. What about that?

0:41:440:41:48

-Horse! Horse!

-A horse!

0:41:480:41:50

-Horse was a pointless answer, which means...

-Horse!

0:41:500:41:53

-Horse!

-Brrr!

0:41:530:41:55

..you go home with that jackpot of £2,500 for your charities.

0:41:550:41:58

Very well done indeed, David and Tracy-Ann.

0:41:580:42:01

-Unbelievable. Unbelievable! Unbelievable.

-Thank you.

0:42:010:42:05

-Horse! I love horses.

-Terrific stuff.

0:42:060:42:10

He's got a painting called Horse With A Youth In Blue.

0:42:100:42:12

-It's in the Tate's collection.

-With A Youth In Blue?

0:42:120:42:15

-There you are, blue.

-Blue!

-Blue would have scored you 7 points.

0:42:150:42:19

And Raoul Dufy was an incorrect answer,

0:42:190:42:21

so horse was your biggest shot, so very well done.

0:42:210:42:24

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers

0:42:240:42:27

in the different categories. We'll start with Picasso words.

0:42:270:42:30

All those pointless. Everything was pointless apart from girl, blue,

0:42:330:42:36

woman, weeping, fruit, dove, bowl, guitar, portrait.

0:42:360:42:39

Those are the only ones that scored any points at all.

0:42:390:42:42

We will look at the Metropolitan Museum Of Art now in New York.

0:42:420:42:46

Let's take a look at the actors.

0:42:500:42:52

All of those were pointless answers. Well done if you got

0:42:570:43:00

any of those at home, and very well done if you said horse.

0:43:000:43:03

Thank you very much indeed.

0:43:030:43:05

Thanks once again to our winning players, David and Tracy-Ann,

0:43:050:43:07

who go away with today's jackpot of £2,500 for their charities.

0:43:070:43:10

Well done.

0:43:100:43:12

-Well done!

-No, well done.

0:43:120:43:14

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge

0:43:150:43:17

-to the test on Pointless. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

0:43:170:43:21

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

0:43:210:43:23

A special celebrity edition of the general knowledge quiz in which four teams try to come up with the answers that no-one else could think of. Presented by Alexander Armstrong and co-host Richard Osman. Featuring Tim Vine and Terry Alderton, Tracy-Ann Oberman and David Schneider, Reverend Richard Coles and Julia Hartley-Brewer, and Arthur Smith and Arlene Phillips.