Episode 18 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed!

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the quiz show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Let's meet today's players.

-And couple number one.

-Hi, my name's Jamie, this is Josh.

We're students and part-time rap artists from Nottingham.

Couple number two.

Hi, my name's Gary, this is my wife Suzanne and we're from Manchester.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Abby and this is Pam, my mum, and we're from Birmingham.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Mathew and this is Jo, and we're a couple from London.

And these are today's contestants.

Thanks all of you.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show

as it goes along. So that just leaves one more person

for me to introduce. A veritable Rolls-Royce of statistical retention

and a Corby trouser press of crisp one-liners.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya.

Hi, everybody.

APPLAUSE

-Good day.

-Good day to you.

-How are you?

-I'm very well.

-You know what?

-Blake and Jamie, causing trouble like they were last time.

-Yeah.

They were difficult last time, weren't they?

-They gave it a little bit of that.

-We had a bit of that.

Crashed out quite badly as well. I don't believe...

-Come on, guys, you did.

-Well...

-It's debatable.

-I don't believe they are part-time rap artists.

-I'm not sure I believe that either.

-I believe Pam and Abby are.

-Absolutely, yeah.

-We didn't think you'd work it out, Richard.

Yeah, you won't get one over on me.

It should be a fun show today. It's lovely to have Blake and Jamie back.

We've also got Suzanne and Gary back.

-They did so well last time, didn't they?

-Yeah.

They are going to be tough to beat today, everybody.

Thanks very much indeed.

All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people

before the show. Our contestants here need to find

the obscure answers those 100 people didn't get.

Of course, everyone's trying to find a pointless answer.

That's an answer that none of our 100 people gave,

and each time that happens we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Mark and Phil didn't win the jackpot last time,

so we add another £1,000 to that. So, today's jackpot starts off at...

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, in this first round I'll take an answer from each of you,

but there is to be no conferring.

At the end of the round whichever pair has the highest score

will be heading home.

OK, our first category today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first

and who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

-Richard.

-Yeah, we're looking for any country whose mainland territory

is either wholly or partly in Asia which has a coastline, please.

So it either has a coastline on a sea or an ocean, not an inland sea,

but any ocean or sea. And as always, by country I mean a sovereign state

that is a member of the UN in its own right.

Now, Jamie and Blake, you all drew lots before the show

and today you are going to go first.

Jamie. So, any country in Asia with a coastline.

I'm going to go for Sri Lanka.

Sri Lanka says Jamie. Let's see if that's right

and let's see how many of our 100 people said Sri Lanka.

It's right.

APPLAUSE

Nothing wrong with that.

Good answer, Jamie. Well played.

-Yeah, it's an island in the Indian Ocean.

-Thanks, Richard.

-Suzanne, welcome to the show. Last time head-to-head.

-Yes.

-You did very, very well, until the head-to-head.

-Yeah.

We were pretty bad in the head-to-head.

-Now, remind us what you do, Suzanne.

-I work for the Environment Agency.

And remind us what your hobbies are.

Erm, well, we like to follow Formula 1.

So when you actually turn up to a grand prix

do you take binoculars and stuff?

Hadn't thought of that. Might be a good idea.

-Do you have a little telly that you watch on your iPad or something?

-No.

No, we're not that professional about it.

These are just some ideas I'm throwing out there, Suzanne.

Now, what are you going to go for? Asian countries with a coastline.

Well, F1 should steer me well with this,

but I've gone a bit blank but I'm going to go Saudi Arabia.

OK. Saudi Arabia. Let's find out if it has a coastline

and if it has, let's see how many people said it.

Absolutely right.

Now that's a proper score. Look at that. Three for Saudi Arabia.

Yeah, good answer, Suzanne.

It's got a coastline on the Persian Gulf and the Red Sea as well.

There we are. Abby, welcome to the show, great to have you here.

What do you do?

I'm a photographer, what's classed as a social photographer.

-The best kind of photographer.

-Well, as opposed to antisocial.

-Weddings, portraits, pets, babies, that sort of thing.

-Good.

Now, what are you going to go for?

Oh... I'm not happy cos I'm afraid Geography is about my worst

possible subject. Erm...

The only thing I can think of, and I'm not even sure if it's Asia,

-is Singapore.

-Singapore, says Abby.

Let's see if Singapore's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said Singapore.

Absolutely right.

Thank God for that.

Asian and with a coastline.

Good answer, Abby.

Well done, Abby. It's only got 193km of coastline, but it does have one.

-It counts.

-Yeah.

Thanks, Rich. Now, Mathew, welcome to the show. What do you do, Mathew?

I work in IT.

Good stuff, and what do you like getting up to in your spare time?

-I like cooking, actually. I really enjoy it.

-Very good.

What kind of cooking?

Some Mediterranean stuff and some Asian stuff as well.

I'm not sure if it's going to help with this question, but erm... Yeah.

I like eating their food.

OK. Well, what answers are you going to go for?

I'm going to go for Indonesia.

Indonesia, says Mathew. Quite a few coastlines there, I should think.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Indonesia.

APPLAUSE

33 for Indonesia.

Well, Singapore had less than 200km of coastline.

-Indonesia's got over 54,000 kilometres.

-Thanks, Richard.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

Three, the best score of that pass. Very well done, Suzanne and Gary.

Can relax a little bit on the back of that,

and up to 20 where we find Abby and Pam,

27 Jamie and Blake

and then up to 33 Mathew and Jo.

Jo, we need a nice low-scoring answer from you from you

as you are the high-scorers at the moment.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium.

OK, so Jo, we're looking for Asian countries with a coastline.

-Jo, what do you do?

-I'm a technical evangelist at an IT company.

-You're a technical evangelist?

-Yes.

-I actually work with customers on building apps.

-Is that fun?

Yeah, it's really good fun.

-I have never come across a technical evangelist. Have you, Richard?

-No.

I've got a laptop that's never been plugged in for 500 episodes.

I haven't...

What do you reckon?

Jo, what are you going to go for?

Since we're the high-scorers I'm going to take a punt and say Yemen.

Yemen, says Jo. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said it.

No red line for you as you are the high-scorers.

It's right.

APPLAUSE

That's a great answer, Jo. Takes your total up to 37.

I reckon that's enough to keep you in the game.

Nearly 2,000 kilometres of coastline in Yemen.

It's been very important, Yemen's coastline, in human history.

It's believed that when people first left Africa

that's where they landed, the coastline of Yemen.

Thanks, Richard. Pam.

-Pam, welcome to the show.

-Thank you.

-Now, where have you come from, Pam?

Well, I come from Bexleyheath in Kent really,

but I moved up to Redditch seven years ago. So I migrated.

-You've migrated from Kent.

-Yes.

-And what fills your time?

Well, I'm retired. I've got a strange collection of interests.

I like watching cranes working on building sites.

LAUGHTER

And, er...

I once worked for a firm that made all sorts of different gears

and I used to come home and talk to my children about,

-"Oh, I've seen a double helical gear."

-She did.

And a raconpinion. Did you know what a raconpinion was?

-No. Raconpinion?

-Yeah.

-No.

Well, I'll talk to you later.

LAUGHTER

-Abby, that's quite a childhood.

-Absolutely.

Hanging around cranes, and she collects frogs as well.

-She didn't mention the frogs.

-Not live ones.

LAUGHTER

Furry ones, china ones, knick-knacks frogs, pillowcases.

Do you know how many frogs you have, Pam?

No, no idea, and I've never bought one myself. Not bought a single one.

It was quite a childhood, actually.

LAUGHTER

That sounds like an excellent childhood.

Now, Pam, what about an Asian country with a coastline?

-South Korea.

-South Korea, says Pam.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said it.

Here comes your red line. You want to score 16 or less

and it looks like that. Get below that and you're in the next round.

It's right.

25. I think that's good enough.

APPLAUSE

25 takes your total up to 45.

Well played, Pam. That's a good answer.

I quite like watching cranes on building sites as well.

I've never felt able to say it before, but I do.

If ever you see a crane on a building site you go...

-"Oh, look at that."

-I like those cranes they have on skyscrapers

where they build a bit of stuff and the cranes go on the top. Oh, yeah.

-That's a crane, isn't it?

-That's a crane.

Oh, I wouldn't like to be the man who had to climb up into that cabin.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now, Gary. Gary, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Remind us what you do, Gary.

-Graphic designer.

And big Manchester United fan.

-Yeah.

-Good stuff. There you are on three.

The high-scorers at the moment are Pam and Abby on 45.

If you can score 41 or less, you're in the next round.

Well... Most of me answers went, so I was really stressing.

-But, erm, Pam, I'm going to give her a big kiss.

-Really?

Because I'm going to go with North Korea.

LAUGHTER

-Now look what you've done.

-Here comes your red line.

If you get below that with North Korea

you're through to the next round.

Is it right? How many people said it? North Korea.

It is right.

And you're through. Very well done, Gary.

22, your total.

Well played, Gary. Cheeky, but, yeah, that's what you've got to do to win.

-They've got 28 approved haircuts in North Korea.

-Just the 28?

-Yeah.

Right. OK, now, Blake. 27's your score, 45 is the highest score.

If you can score 17 or less, you remain with us.

-It has to be 17 or less?

-Mm-hm.

Do you want me to give you an idea of what...

The only answers that have scored less than 17...

Well, North Korea scored 19, then we had Yemen on four

-and Saudi Arabia on three.

-I know, that's crazy, I can't believe that.

Erm... I was originally going to go for Singapore.

I think India's too obvious. Erm...

I'm going to have to say Thailand.

Thailand, says Blake. Here comes your red line.

If you get below that red line with Thailand, you're in round two.

Let's see if it's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said Thailand.

It's right.

Ooh, bad luck, Blake. 56, I'm afraid.

56, taking your total up to 83.

Yeah, over 3,000km of coastline in Thailand, but a big score there.

Answers that would've seen you through...

Turkey would've seen you through with 11 points.

Bangladesh would've seen you through with nine points,

Cambodia with 14, the Philippines with 17 would've seen you through.

The Maldives with eight would've seen you through. Kuwait with four,

Brunei with four. There's only one pointless answer on the board,

it's only got 26km of coastline and it's Jordan.

Very well done if you said Jordan.

The UAE and Qatar, both would've scored you one.

You'd have also got one for Timor-Leste,

East Timor as we sometimes call it.

Georgia would've scored you one, Oman would've scored you one,

Israel and Bahrain both would've scored you two,

Iraq would've scored you three,

as would Syria, and Iran would've scored you four.

Let's take a look at top answers,

the ones that most of our 100 people said.

There would've been no point going for India,

it's the biggest scorer of all, as you suspected, Blake.

Would've scored you 71 points.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

At the end of our first round I'm afraid the pair heading home

with their high score, it's not that high but it's just the highest score

of 83, I'm afraid it's Blake and Jamie.

I'm so sorry, but you could easily have thought of those ones,

-couldn't you, without the pressure on?

-I did have Iran in my head,

but I... That is the game.

I'm afraid we have to say goodbye, and this time it really is goodbye,

but it's been great having you on the show.

Thanks very much for playing, Blake and Jamie.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs it's now time for round two.

Now only three pairs remain,

and obviously at the end of this round we'll be saying goodbye

to another pair, but you all played very well in that round.

-Pam and Abby, lovely solid performance from you.

-Thank you.

Suzanne, lovely low score, the best score of the round.

Three points for you.

And Jo and Mathew, very, very well done indeed

and well done all three pairs.

Our category for round two is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first

and who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-Richard.

-On each pass we're going to show you six line-ups of bands

in their most famous incarnation,

but we're missed one name out of the list.

So we're going to give you all the members of the group,

we've missed out one. Can you tell us which one we missed out, please?

There's going to be 12 in all to get at home.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So we are looking for the missing

member of each of these bands. And here's our first board of six.

I'll read those again.

LAUGHTER

There we go. Suzanne, there's a board of six bands.

Can you supply the missing member?

Erm... I know a couple, so erm...

I'm struggling to decide which one will be least,

cos I think they'll probably both be quite high,

but I'll go with Alex James and that's for the second one down

with Dave Rowntree, Damon Albarn and Graham Coxon.

OK. Alex James, says Suzanne.

Let's see if Alex James is right to complete that band,

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Not bad at all. 12 for Blur.

Yet another good answer from Suzanne as well.

I wouldn't want to be Gary right about now.

Yeah, he's the bassist from Blur, Alex James.

Thanks, Rich. Now, Abby.

Yeah. Erm...

I only actually recognise two of them.

One is my husband's favourite band,

but I think that might be a bit too easy.

So I'm going to go for Larry Mullen, Bono, Adam Clayton.

-I think it's missing The Edge.

-The Edge.

The Edge, says Abby. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said The Edge.

It's right.

APPLAUSE

Not bad at all, Abby.

It's a very good answer, yeah.

He takes 45 different guitars on tour with him.

That's a lot of guitars, isn't it? 45 completely different ones.

His real name is David Evans.

Mathew. So, who are the missing members of these bands?

Erm... It's a bit of a shot in the dark,

but I'm going to go with Dave Wyndorf as the second from bottom.

Dave Wyndorf, says Mathew. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said Dave Wyndorf.

Oh, bad luck, Mathew. I'm afraid Dave Wyndorf an incorrect answer.

Sorry.

Sorry, Mathew. Yeah, Dave Wyndorf is in Monster Magnet, the US band.

This is a much more famous band.

This is Led Zeppelin and the missing name is Robert Plant.

Would've scored you 16 points.

Now, I bet you're fairly good at some of these.

Peters Buck, Mike Mills, Bill Berry...

That's, erm... That's, erm... Erm...

-REM.

-Michael Stipe.

-Yeah.

Would've scored you eight points. The best answer on the board is this one.

-Jonny Buckland, Will Champion, Guy Berryman...

-Is Coldplay.

And it's Chris Martin.

Chris Martin of Coldplay, yes, would've scored you three,

and the bottom group is obviously Abba.

It's Abba, and it's Benny but what is his surname?

I would never know that.

-Benny Andersson.

-Of course it is. Benny Andersson.

Would've scored you 31 points.

-So Coldplay the best answer there.

-Thanks very much indeed.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

12, the best score of that pass. Suzanne, you've done it again,

the lowest scorer.

Then up to 38 where we find Abby and Pam, then up to 100,

Mathew and Jo, where we find you.

You never know, it's going to get harder, this board as it comes back

down the line. Jo, if you find a good low score

it might be enough to keep you in the round. You never know.

Best of luck with that. We come back down the line now.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium.

OK, we're going to put six more bands up on the board,

and here they are.

Now remember, we are looking for the missing members of these bands,

Jo, and you need to find the lowest-scoring one you know.

Erm, this is really not a good subject for me.

So the only one I think I know is the third one down with Fergie

and Taboo, I'd say Will.i.am.

Will.i.am, says Jo. Let's see if that's right.

There's no red line for you as you're the high-scorers,

but let's see how far down the column Will.i.am can take you.

Absolutely right.

APPLAUSE

137 your total there, Jo.

Well done, Jo, you've put yourself 99 points ahead of Pam there.

Might be all important, you never know. Yeah, Will.i.am.

-I like Will.I.am.

-I really like Will.I.am.

I don't know if I'd like to spend too much time in his company.

He seems a bit busy. But he comes across very well, doesn't he?

He's amazing. I think he's brilliant.

Now then, Pam.

Pam.

You need to score 98 or less to get through to the next round.

Well, the only group I recognise

is Queen, Freddie Mercury.

And I don't know

who the missing person is.

So I'm going to say David Evans.

David Evans, OK.

Moonlighting from U2.

Let's see, though - David Evans. Here comes your red line.

If you get below that red line, you are through to the head-to-head.

But let's see if David Evans is the missing member of Queen.

-Ooh, bad luck, Pam.

-I didn't think he was.

Bad luck, I'm afraid - an incorrect answer,

which takes your total up to 138. I'm sorry.

Sorry, Pam, tough category there for you.

It'll be cranes next time.

-Or frogs.

-Cranes or frogs.

Gary, here is a chance for you -

your last chance on Pointless to get a lower score than Suzanne.

Yeah...it's not going to happen.

Do you fancy talking us through the board?

OK - I do know the lead singer of Spandau Ballet.

And I can't for the life think of his name.

I also know the drummer of Queen,

and I can't think of his surname.

Oh, this is terrible.

I'm just going to get so much stick when I get home for this.

Um...I'm going to have to...

OK, I'm not going to make a name up for Queen,

cos that would be sacrilege.

Uh...

What normally happens when nobody's got an answer?

I think, normally, you say David Evans.

OK. I'm going to say Dave Evans, then, for...the second one down.

-Dave Evans for...

-I have no idea.

-..that second band down.

No red line, Gary. You're already through.

So David Evans doesn't really matter.

But still, we'll find out -

is David Evans in that second band down?

No. Alas, he's not.

I'm afraid that scores you the maximum of 100 points.

I'm not sure you're that surprised.

-112 is your total.

-Sorry, Gary.

Suzanne, can we get you a chair or anything?

I'm very aware you've been carrying a full-grown man for two shows now.

You know, when we watch this at home,

he's so much better at it than me, I swear.

He gets all the answers, better than I do.

-I think I've just got lucky.

-Well, you're through.

She's very kind as well.

You may come good at the end, Gary.

Now, let's go through the rest of these.

Gary, could you remember the first name of the drummer from Queen?

-Uh...Roger?

-Roger, yeah.

-Taylor.

-It's Roger Taylor. Roger Taylor, that's right, Abby.

Would've scored 28 points. Now, where shall we start?

You couldn't remember the name of the Spandau Ballet frontman.

That's the Martin Kemp, Gary Kemp one.

-Tony Hadley.

-Tony Hadley is his name.

Would've scored 15 points.

Now, One Direction - Harry Styles, there's Niall, lovely Liam...

Who's the missing member?

-Zayn Malik.

-My favourite - Zayn Malik.

-Your favourite.

Would've scored you 13 points.

Now, the second group down -

Ed O'Brien, Jonny Greenwood, Colin Greenwood, Phil Selway...

-Thom Yorke.

-It's Radiohead, so the missing name is Thom Yorke.

Would've scored you 5.

Now, the top one I didn't get.

Sebastien Izambard, Carlos Marin, Urs Buhler.

I was thinking of some kind of European heavy metal band,

-or something like that.

-Surely.

-It's not.

It's actually Il Divo.

-Oh, you should've known that.

-Of course!

-The missing name is...

-David Miller.

David Miller.

It's a pointless answer, so very well played if you said that.

Thanks very much indeed.

At the end of that round,

I'm afraid it's Pam and Abby we have to say goodbye to.

Pam, I'm sorry. And we should both say sorry.

-Sorry, Pam.

-Sorry, Pam, for giving you that round.

-Thank you.

-I think that was tough, that was a really tough board.

-It was close.

-As you said, no frogs, no cranes in sight.

But the great news is we get to see you again next time.

-We look forward to that.

-Don't do anything like that again.

All right...

-You've been told!

-Sorry, Pam.

But thanks so much for playing. Pam and Abby, lovely contestants.

For the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Suzanne and Gary, Jo and Mathew.

You're a step closer to the final,

with a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at £3,500.

To decide which pair's going to play for that money,

you're going to go head-to-head.

The big difference is you're now allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Suzanne and Gary, you've been here before.

Now, Gary, as Richard said, this is your time to shine.

Jo and Mathew, very, very solid -

great performance from you all the way through.

Best of luck to both pairs, I think this will be very close.

Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...

England goalkeepers. Richard?

We'll show you five pictures of goalkeepers

who've won caps for England.

Can you tell us the most obscure, please? Good luck.

Thanks very much. Let's reveal our five England goalkeepers.

Here they are. We have got...

There you have them. Five England goalkeepers.

Who are they?

Now, then, Suzanne and Gary, you go first,

as you've played best throughout the show so far.

THEY WHISPER

We're going to go with E, Gordon Banks.

Gordon Banks, say Gary and Suzanne. Gordon Banks.

Jo and Mathew, do you want to take us through the board?

Um, I...

No.

Um, well, I knew C was Joe Hart.

I thought I knew who A was, and then it went,

so I think we're going to have to play it safe and go for C.

No, just take a gamble, cos if we do C...

OK. We'll take a gamble. This might be embarrassing,

but we'll go B...Peter Shilton?

B, Peter Shilton, say Jo and Mathew.

We have Gordon Banks and Peter Shilton.

Gary and Suzanne said Gordon Banks for E.

Let's see if that's right and, if so, how many said Gordon Banks.

It's right.

34.

Jo and Mathew, meanwhile,

are saying Peter Shilton for B.

Let's see if that's right and, if so, how many said Peter Shilton.

It's right.

43, though.

Very well done, Suzanne and Gary. After one question, you're up 1-0.

The most capped England player of all time, Peter Shilton -

125 caps.

Funnily enough, I think both teams knew C,

which is Joe Hart.

Would've scored fewer points

than both of those.

Would've scored 30.

A is another more recent one.

It's Paul Robinson.

He would've scored you 12 points.

The best answer on the board is D -

well done to those at home

who said Ron Springett.

Played for QPR, Sheffield Wednesday,

also played for England.

Ron Springett.

Thanks very much. Here comes your second question.

Jo and Mathew, you get to answer first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game.

It concerns...

Arthurian Legend. Richard?

I'm going to give you five clues

to facts concerning the myths and legends of King Arthur.

Can you give us the most obscure answer?

OK. Thanks very much. Let's reveal our five clues. Here they come.

I'll read those one last time.

There we are. Jo and Mathew, you go first.

(I know the answer to all of them except the middle.)

THEY WHISPER

Um...we know four of them.

It's just deciding which one's the most obscure.

We'll go for the title of the 1963 animated Disney film about Arthur

and say The Sword In The Stone.

The Sword In The Stone,

say Jo and Mathew for the Disney film.

Suzanne and Gary, the board is yours.

Talk us through it.

I think we probably had the same four,

so the sword is Excalibur,

the wife is Guinevere,

and the table is round.

Um...so...

-Guinevere?

-Yeah, OK.

-Guinevere. Suzanne and Gary say Guinevere.

We have Sword In The Stone versus Guinevere.

Jo and Mathew went for The Sword In The Stone.

Let's see if that's right and, if so, how many said it.

It's right.

44.

Suzanne and Gary have said Guinevere was King Arthur's wife.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

44 is what you've got to beat...

Ooh! Not quite - 49. Bad luck.

Which means Jo and Mathew are back in the game -

after two questions, it's 1-1.

Good head-to-head.

Both teams knew the same four there and you both chose the right ones.

You couldn't have done better with the four you knew,

because the top one is Excalibur.

That would've scored 69 points.

The bottom one is a round table.

Very big score, though - 91.

The only answer that would have done for all of these

is the author of Morte D'Arthur.

It's Sir Thomas Malory.

Would've have scored you 9 points.

Very well done if you got that.

Thanks very much. OK, here comes your third question.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final.

Best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

Philosophers. Richard?

We're about to show you the names of five philosophical heavyweights,

but we've removed alternate letters from their name.

Can you fill in those gaps and give us the most obscure answer?

-Good luck, both teams.

-Thanks, Richard.

Let's reveal our five philosophers, and here they are.

I'll read those again, without the blanks.

There we are -

five philosophers with bits missing.

Suzanne and Gary, you go first.

SHE WHISPERS

OK. Um...we're not sure we've got the name exactly right.

But the second from the bottom

might be Rene Descartes?

OK, yep. Rene Descartes say Suzanne and Gary.

Jo and Mathew, what'll you go for?

Um...I think the bottom one

is Aristotle.

-Um...the middle one was...?

-Socrates.

I think we should go for the bottom.

Two Ts, kind of obvious.

If you got the bottom one

and you didn't get the middle one,

we should probably go for the middle one.

LAUGHTER

OK, I think we'll go for the middle one.

-It's going to be...

-Socrates.

Socrates, say Jo and Mathew. We have Rene Descartes and Socrates.

Suzanne and Gary said Rene Descartes.

Let's see if it's right and, if so, how many people said that.

It's right.

Very well done indeed - 8.

Jo and Mathew have gone for the middle one, Socrates.

Let see if it's right and how many people said it.

Absolutely right.

47 - bad luck.

Very well done, though, Suzanne and Gary.

That means, after three questions, you're through to the final 2-1.

Well played. There's only one answer that would have beaten Descartes,

and it's the top one, which is Epicurus.

Very well done if you said that, would've scored 3 points,

terrific answer.

The next one down, surprisingly low score...

-Karl Marx.

-It's Karl Marx, yeah.

Would've scored 15.

And you're right, the bottom one was Aristotle.

Would've been better than Socrates, but still not enough.

It would've scored 30 points.

Thank you, Richard. At the end of our head-to-head round,

I'm afraid to say it's Jo and Mathew leaving us.

But it's good news, really -

it means we'll see you again next time,

otherwise you'd have gone through to the final

and that would've been it.

We'll look forward to that, you played so well today,

it all bodes well for next time.

Thanks very much for playing, Jo and Mathew.

For Suzanne and Gary, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Suzanne and Gary.

You've seen off all the competition

and won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot -

at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £3,500.

AUDIENCE: Ooh!

You have done so well.

I'm kind of looking at you, Suzanne.

But you have done so well today.

We've tested all sorts of different areas of your knowledge.

Here you are, in the final round. What would you like to see come up?

Well, probably music, but we've had a music round,

so not sure whether that would play out.

-Films, maybe?

-Maybe films.

OK. Well, best of luck.

As always, you kick this round off by choosing a category

and you have four options. They are...

Have you got another four?

There are three sub-categories within each of those, though.

They're usually quite free-ranging, so there should be something.

When we said music, we weren't thinking of Irish music,

although my dad has taught me

a good knowledge of Foster and Allen, so...

Whether that might help...

Do you know enough Foster and Allen songs?

Not enough to admit to, no.

Acting stand-ups?

-Stand-up comedians who...

-Go into acting?

Yeah, that's probably our best one, isn't it?

-Acting stand-ups, please.

-Acting stand-ups it is.

I like the fact you said "We want film or music."

We give you a film and a music question

and you're still not happy.

Let's take a look at the three things you can choose between

in this category.

Can you give us the name of any film starring Omid Djalili

up to February 2013?

Any film starring Lee Evans, up to the same date?

Or any film starring Steve Coogan, up to that same date, please?

Any feature film made for cinema release

for which any of these three have received a credit.

As always, no short films, no TV films, anything like that.

Voice performances do count.

Omid Djalili, Lee Evans, Steve Coogan.

-Best of luck.

-OK.

As always, you have one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot of £3,500

is to find just one pointless answer.

Remember, your answers can come from any of those three categories.

It can be one from each, all three from one,

two from one, one from another - entirely up to you.

-Are you ready?

-Yeah.

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

The Omid guy is the least well-known of the three,

-so people would be least likely...

-Yeah.

Um...was he in The Dictator, that we were watching with Jacob?

I'm not remembering -

there's something I can remember him being in,

but...it isn't coming.

He might have been there.

Coogan obviously did 24 Hour Party People.

-We know he did Around The World In 80 Days.

-Yeah.

How many Hollywood films has he done? Quite a few...

-Um...

-Lee Evans.

-Lee Evans.

Was he in something - Clockwork or Mousetrap, something?

-Something...something like that?

-Yeah. Um...maybe, yeah.

Don't know. I'm out, really.

Um, so...

We've got to get something!

The Coogan one, Around The World In 80 Days

-and 24 Hour Party People.

-Yeah.

And the Omid Djalili one - shall we take a risk and say...?

OK, that's your time up. I now need your three answers.

What are you going to give me?

We'll go two Steve Coogan films - at least we know that.

-24 Hour Party People.

-24 Hour Party People.

-And Around The World In 80 Days.

-Around The World In 80 Days.

-And...Mousetrap? Mousetrap.

-OK. Go with that.

-Mousetrap, Lee Evans.

-Mousetrap. OK.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer,

do you think?

None of them!

-Which one?

-Around The World In 80 Days, maybe.

OK, Around The World In 80 Days, we'll put that last.

Which is least likely to be pointless, do you think?

Um...Mousetrap, cos...

-Mousetrap, cos there's...a good chance it might be wrong?

-Yeah.

-OK.

Let's put those up on the board in that order and here they are.

We've got Mousetrap, 24 Hour Party People

and Around The World In 80 Days.

Very, very best of luck.

Your first answer was Mousetrap.

Obviously, if this is correct and it's pointless,

you'll win that jackpot - £3,500.

What would you do with that, Suzanne?

Um...well continuing the F1 theme, really.

Go somewhere a bit more exciting, like Singapore, something like that?

-Very good.

-Be amazing.

-Yeah. Gary?

I'd buy Suzanne some very comfortable shoes

and treat her to a spa weekend to help that back,

-cos it took a lot of weight.

-Yeah...

Good stuff. OK. Your first answer, Mousetrap, for £3,500.

Let's find out - was Mousetrap a Lee Evans film?

No! Bad luck.

Bad luck. An incorrect answer, as it turns out.

Only two more chances to win today's jackpot.

Your second answer, on slightly firmer ground here,

was 24 Hour Party People.

Let's find out if that's correct, and if it's pointless,

you'll win that jackpot.

For £3,500, let's find out - 24 Hour Party People,

is it a Steve Coogan film?

It most definitely is.

Now, your first answer, Mousetrap, was incorrect.

Your second answer, bang on the money,

taking you down through the 30s, through the 20s, into the teens.

24 Hour Party People. Now into the single figures,

down it goes...

2!

That's lower than I thought.

That's a very, very respectable answer. Great score.

Sadly, not pointless.

So, only one more chance to win.

It's all riding on your third and final answer.

This was, though, to be fair,

the answer you thought was your best shot at a pointless.

So, let's find out - for £3,500,

is Around The World In 80 Days a Steve Coogan film?

It is.

Mousetrap was incorrect, 24 Hour Party People,

absolutely correct, and took you down to 2.

Now, this Around The World In 80 Days, takes you...

Oh! 7!

Bad luck.

Two very good answers there, two fantastic scores as well,

but sadly, none of them are pointless,

which I'm afraid means you don't win today's jackpot of £3,500.

That'll roll over onto the next show.

We enjoyed having you on the programme,

you've done such a good job.

You get to take home a Pointless trophy each, so well done.

Thank you. We've loved being here.

Sorry, Suzanne and Gary.

You've been brilliant for two shows, great fun as well.

Thanks so much for coming on.

Mousetrap - the film you were thinking of was Mouse Hunt,

which would have scored you 9 points, a Lee Evans film.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers for all of them.

Omid Djalili, his biggest films would have been The Mummy and Gladiator,

but he was pointless answers for the Ant and Dec film Alien Autopsy,

he was in Sex And The City 2 - some people might have got that.

He was with Jude Law in Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow,

and he's also got a part in The World Is Not Enough,

the Bond movie.

Well done if you said any of those.

Lee Evans...

His biggest film was There's Something About Mary,

but these are all pointless - Freeze Frame, Plotz With A View,

The Ladies' Man and Vacuums.

Well done if you said any of those.

For Steve Coogan, these were the pointless ones.

He stars with Anne Hathaway in Ella Enchanted,

In The Loop, which is the film version

of The Thick Of It, the TV show, Marie Antoinette,

and he gives a voice performance in Marmaduke,

the live action version of Marmaduke.

Well done if you said any of those at home,

and hope none of them rang a bell here.

Thanks very much.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you, Suzanne and Gary,

but we've loved having you on the show.

Thank you for playing - great contestants.

Sadly, Suzanne and Gary didn't win our jackpot today,

meaning it rolls over onto the next show,

where we'll be playing for £4,500.

Join us then to see if someone wins it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me - goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd