Episode 22 Pointless

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thank you very much. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong. Welcome to Pointless,

the quiz show where questions have been put to 100 people before the show

and our contestants have to come up with answers those 100 people couldn't think of.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Jake. This is my friend Ollie and we're from south-west London.

Couple number two. Hello, I'm Jayne. I'm from Nottingham.

This is Kassim, my husband. He's from Malaysia.

Couple number three. Hi, I'm Beth. This is my friend Sian and we're from Sheffield.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi. I'm Lynn. I'm from Bournemouth.

This is my son, Ben. He's from London.

And these are today's contestants.

Thanks, all of you. We'll find out more about you during the show as it goes along.

That leaves one more person to introduce.

He's so clever, he can do the Times crossword in ten minutes,

and without even using a pen.

My pointless friend, Richard.

Hiya! Hi, everyone!

How are you today? I'm very well, thanks, Richard. Excellent.

Should be a lovely show today. We've only got Sian and Beth from the last show.

They got through to the head-to-head. They were pretty good.

So we've got three new pairs today.

We chatted to them earlier. They seem lovely. Yes, they SEEM very nice.

Do you think they may turn? I don't know!

No, I have high hopes for each and every one of them.

Yes, I think on the whole, they're great. We've got a lovely couple of first rounds, as well.

Something for everybody. A couple of first rounds? Oh, no. This is fun!

I guess what I mean is the first two rounds!

OK. Thanks very much. All our questions have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants need to find the obscure answers those 100 people didn't get.

Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer, one that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add ?250 to the jackpot.

Pete and Sean didn't win the jackpot last time, so we add another ?1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at ?3,000.

Right. If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless!

In this first round, I'll take an answer from each of you,

but there is to be no conferring.

Whoever has the highest score at the end of the round will be heading home.

OK. Our first category today is Words.

Words. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going first and who's going second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

Let's see what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could. Words ending in ..nel. Richard?

It's a tricky one, that. Any word that has its own entry in the Oxford Dictionary of English

that ends ..nel, please.

As always, no hyphenated words, no trade marks, no proper nouns or anything like that.

Any word that has its own entry in the Oxford Dictionary of English that ends ..nel.

Best of luck to everybody.

Thanks very much indeed. Jake and Ollie, you drew lots before the show

and today you go first.

Ollie, I saw you take some deep breaths when a words round came up

and now you've gone first. Tell me your logic there.

We thought if I go first, I could get an average answer,

and then Jake can get maybe a lower answer,

and together we can still somehow get through.

I think that works. That stands up. Ollie, what do you do?

I'm at Bournemouth University studying Television Production.

Are you? How do you find it? How's it going?

It's really amazing. I really like it. It's all going well. Enjoying it.

Yep. Haven't been put off the industry?

No, the money's putting me off uni, but the industry is great.

You think it's better in the industry, you're saying?

This is true. This is true.

Now, Ollie, we're looking for words ending in ..nel.

I think I've got one. You've got one.

But audience, don't laugh,

it could be... It couldn't be great, but I'll go for kernel.

How are you spelling that, as a matter of interest?

Wow. K-E-R-N-E-L.

Kernel. K-E-R-N-E-L.

OK. Let's see if that's right. If it is, how many people said kernel.

It's right.

Look at that. 16, Ollie, that's a great answer. Very well done.

And you didn't have much time to think of it.

Well played, Ollie. That's a relief, isn't it? Such a relief, I tell you!

The edible part of a nut, a kernel.

Thank you very much indeed.

Jayne, welcome to the show. What do you do, Jayne?

I'm a full-time PhD student, mature student.

What's your PhD in? Criminology.

Oh, that's fun. E-fencing, which is the sale of stolen goods online.

Wow! So you find ways of tracking stuff down? Exactly. That's what I'm trying to do.

OK. Now, a word ending ..nel.

I'm going to try spinnel, which I think is a semi-precious stone.

Spinnel. Spinnel, says Jayne.

Let's see if that's right, and if so, how many of our 100 people said spinnel.

It's right.

It's a great answer! Look at that! Two, Jayne. Very well done.

Two for spinnel.

That's a terrific answer. Very well played.

There's a spinnel, the Timor Ruby, that's in the Crown Jewels.

Thank you. Now, Sian.

Hiya. Welcome back. Sian, remind us what you're doing.

Physics, Chemistry and Biology A-levels.

What are you hoping to do? Are you going to take a year out, or go straight to university?

Taking a year out and hopefully going travelling maybe.

Do you know where you might go? We're thinking round Europe, or if we can save enough money, Peru.

Machu Picchu. Nice. Well, get on and win that jackpot.

Yeah. 3,000 quid would help, wouldn't it? Yeah.

OK. Now, words ending ..nel.

I'm thinking of one, but I'm not sure if it's slang.

Slang might be allowed. Some slang words are in the dictionary.

It's not filthy, is it?

No! Good. Good.

Filthy words ending in ..nel?

No, just filthy words. There might be words that I haven't heard of!

I don't really know filthy words.

I don't know if it's a word my mum's made up.

I don't know whether to go for it.

Flannel. Flannel?

Yeah. You wash your face with a flannel.

Is that the word you thought was slang?

I don't know. I've never heard anyone else use it in legit words.

Well, I guess you don't share a bathroom with that many other people.

So, you know. Flannel. I think it sounds pretty good. Let's see if it's right.

How many people said flannel?

It's a great answer, Sian. Very well done.

There you are. 26 is your reward for it.

Well done, Sian, that's...

It's a real word! And then some, yeah!

Yeah. That really is a proper word. Mm.

It hasn't just got its own entry in the Oxford Dictionary of English, it's got a whole page!

With a picture of your mum!

Thanks very much. Lynn, welcome to Pointless. Lovely to have you here.

Thank you. Up from Bournemouth. Yes. What do you do in Bournemouth, Lyn?

I'm retired, now. What did you do?

I used to work in a pet shop.

What was the most exotic pet you sold?

We didn't actually sell pets. Hang on, hang on!

So it was a front?

It was leads and collars and medicine and blankets and food and...

I see. So pet accessories. Supplies. Pet supplies.

Like a flannel for a rabbit.

They do flannels for rabbits! Do you know what I saw in a pet shop the other day?

They sell wood shavings for hamster cages, lavender scented!

Yes, strawberry scented. Strawberry scented? Yep.

It's going to smell of hamster wee in 24 hours!

No, hamster wee and strawberry. Mmm!

It's a herbal tea I have, as well.

That, essentially, is what herbal tea is, isn't it?

Um, Lynn. A word ending ..nel.

I think it's a word.

I'm going to say gunnel, G-U-N-N-E-L. Gunnel.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many of our 100 people said gunnel.

Absolutely right.

Very well done.

Well played. Gunnels on a boat.

More normally spelt G-U-N-W-A-L-E.

But gunnel is a variant spelling of it.

Thanks. We're halfway through the round. Let's look at the scores.

Jayne, two points. Very well done.

Then up to 12, Lynn and Ben.

Up to 16, where we find Ollie and Jake.

Up to 26 where we find Sian and Beth.

So Beth, get thinking of a really good low-scoring word.

Best of luck. Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK. We are looking for words ending in ..nel.

Ben, welcome to the show. What do you do?

I'm a video game PR person.

That's fun. I know. It's good!

Have you grown up loving video games all your life?

Yeah, I've been doing it for about 12 years now.

So I'm a giant nerd, basically.

OK. Words ending ..nel. You're on 12. The high scorers on 26 are Beth and Sian.

So if you can score 13 or less,

you'll avoid becoming the new high scorers.

I've got one that I'm really not sure of.

But it could be pointless. But I don't want to risk it, so I'll go with funnel. Funnel.

OK. Funnel, says Ben.

Here's your red line. Get below that, you're definitely in the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 said funnel.

It's right.

58.

58 takes your total up to 70.

Funnel. It's essentially a fun flannel.

Yeah. I don't think there's a flannel has yet been made that wasn't fun!

There is some truth in that. I'm going to come out and say that.

Now, Beth. If you can score 43 or less, you're in the next round.

Now, Beth, remind us what you do.

I'm an A-level student. And your A-levels are?

Maths, Physics and Geography.

How do you feel about words ending ..nel?

I thought it was quite difficult, because it's quite an unusual word ending.

So I'm not sure.

But I think I'm going to go for fennel.

Fennel, says Beth.

Sounds good to me. Let's see how many of our 100 people said fennel.

It's right.

Absolutely right, and you're through.

28.

And 54 your total.

Well played, Beth. Safely through. That's an East Anglian flannel.

Now, then, Kassim.

Hi. Kassim, welcome to the show. What do you do, Kassim?

I'm a senior lecturer at the University of Derby.

And what do you lecture in?

Criminology. Oh, I see! There we are.

Is that how you and Jayne met?

No. No.

We were pen-pals, and then...we got married!

You got married. Yeah.

Where were you then? I was in Malaysia. I was a customs officer.

Good stuff. And here you are on Pointless, the next natural step.

You are on two. A lovely low score from Jayne in the first pass.

The high scorers on 70 are Ben and Lynn.

What we need from you is a score of 67 or less.

That will get you through to the next round.

I'm not very good with words.

I'll go with personnel.

Personnel. Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it. There's your red line.

Below that, you're in the next round.

Very well done. You're through.

Seven for personnel.

Takes your total up to nine. Wonderful low total.

That's a terrific answer. Well played. Personnel.

What's the Malay word for flannel?

Duele. Duele. D-U-E-L-E.

Duele. See? Everyone's got a word for it!

Now, Jake.

Jake, welcome to the show.

Thank you. What do you do, Jake? I'm in a gap year at the moment.

I'm starting uni in September.

What a great thing to do with your gap year! Come on Pointless!

What else have you done with it?

I have worked, and I'm planning travel for the summer.

OK. That all sounds good. What are you going to study at university?

Politics and Modern History joint.

Sadly, you're not studying words ending in ..nel.

That's a shame. However, the high scorers, Ben and Lynn on 70.

All you have to score is 53 or less.

Basically, I've got two safe ones,

and I've got one which I think will probably be quite low.

Panel and tunnel are obvious ones.

And then colonel. And I'm going to be brave and go with colonel.

OK. Let's see. You're going for colonel.

There's your red line. Get below that with colonel and you are through.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said colonel.

Yep, you've done it. Very well done.

24, taking your total up to 40. Very well done indeed.

That might be the first time in Pointless history

that two team-mates have given exactly the same answer! Great!

Seems to work. Very different spellings and meanings. Absolutely.

And how was your thinking? Got an answer? My safe one would be sentinel. Sentinel.

Sentinel would have scored you 16 points. Yeah.

I'm desperately trying to think of a "rechannel" or "sidechannel".

Let's look at the pointless answers. The first one would be up your street,

because the first one is backchannel.

Cracknel is a pointless answer.

You could have had inconel, a nickel alloy.

You could have had mangonel, which is a type of catapult,

like a siege engine.

Microkernel, which is a tiny soldier!

You could have had... LAUGHTER

You could have multichannel. There you are. Another good one.

A few more. Polytunnel. Brilliant.

It's something they sell in Lynn's pet shop. The parrots love it!

You could have had spignel, which is a type of parsley,

or vennel, which is one of the many words we have for a narrow lane

between two houses. A vennel.

What were the big scorers?

These are the ones that most of our 100 people said.

That's the second-highest scorer.

And right at the top was tunnel with 66.

There are some nice other answers here.

Shrapnel would have scored seven.

You could also have had pimpernel, for four.

Pimpernel is a nice world

Thank you very much.

So at the end of our first round, the pair heading home with their high score of 70 are Ben and Lynn.

I'm so sorry. Two perfectly good answers. But funnel, what a punishing score that was!

Never mind. 58 for funnel.

I'm sorry we have to say goodbye so soon, but we'll see you again next time.

We look forward to it. Thank you. Thanks so much, Ben and Lynn.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's time for Round Two.

And so, now there's only three pairs here,

and at the end of this round, we'll be sending another pair home.

Kassim and Jayne, very well played. Lovely low single-figure score.

A total of nine, there. Very impressive indeed.

Jake and Ollie, two "kernels". Very good work.

Sian and Beth, our only returning pair,

the highest scorers of our remaining pairs.

Time to pull your socks up. Let's hope we see you in the head-to-head.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for Round Two is Pop Music.

Pop music. Can you decide in your pairs who's going first and who's going second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. The question concerns...

Musical trios. Richard?

On each pass, we'll show you a list of names

and each of those names are linked by a musical trio.

Can you tell us which musical trio they were part of, please?

There'll be six on each pass, 12 in all to have a go at at home.

OK. Thanks very much. We're looking for the names of these famous musical trios.

Here's our first board.

I'll read those all one last time.

Six musical trios.

Jake. Which is the lowest-scoring one there you can see?

I only know two.

I'm going to say The Police

for Stewart Copeland, Sting and Andy Summers.

The Police, says Jake. Is it right, and if so, how many of our 100 people said The Police?

It is, of course, The Police.

Quite a high score. 74, there, Jake.

Yes, five number one singles for The Police in the UK.

Only five? A big scorer. Yeah, only five.

Now, Kassim.

Is this a terrible question for you?

Yes, it is!

I don't know. Beyonce Knowles, Sugababes?

You say The Sugababes for Beyonce Knowles, Kelly Rowland, Michelle Williams.

Let's see if Sugababes is right,

and if it is, how many people said Sugababes.

No, bad luck. I'm sorry, Kassim.

A tough board, and a tough round if you don't know your pop trios.

An incorrect answer scores you the maximum of 100 points. Sorry.

Sorry, Kassim. They're actually the only three women in the world who haven't been in the Sugababes!

Thanks very much. Now, Sian.

The board is all yours. Talk us through it and fill in the blanks.

I was absolutely sweating it, then, thinking he knew that.

Cos that was the only one I know!

I don't know any of them apart from Beyonce, Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams.

Destiny's Child.

Destiny's Child, says Sian.

Is that right? If it is, how many people said Destiny's Child?

Absolutely right.

32. That's a low score.

Well done, Sian. I thought because we had all these young people on,

they'd know the cool one on the board. Mm, I'm now quite worried.

You guys don't know the Yeah Yeah Yeahs? I do!

Brian Chase, Karen O, Nick Zinner.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs would have scored one point. A terrific answer.

Why did I not go first? Beth knew it. Beth knew it.

There'll be a cool one on the next board, I'm sure.

Well done if you got that at home.

Billy Gibbons, Dusty Hill, Frank Beard? ZZ Top. ZZ Top, yeah.

Scored 12 points.

Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas, and the rest!

TLC. It is TLC.

Scored seven points. And the bottom one?

Is Cream. Cream, yes.

That would have scored 35.

So the best answer there, Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Thanks, Richard.

We're halfway through the round. Let's look at those scores.

Beth, you couldn't give that brilliant low answer that round,

but you're still the low scorers on 32. Very well done, Sian.

Up to 74 where we find Jake and Ollie.

Then up to 100 where we find Kassim and Jayne.

Jayne, we need a low score if you're going to stay beyond the end of this round.

I think it's 200 Club! Best of luck. Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

We'll put six more trios up on the board. Here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

We're looking for the famous trios

in which these musicians played.

Beth, try and find the lowest-scoring one you know on that board.

Is that a good board for you as well?

It's OK. I know quite a few. I'm not sure which will be the lowest.

The high scorers are Jayne and Kassim on 100.

If you can score 67 or less, you won't even be the new high scorers.

Right. OK.

I'm going to go for Charlie Simpson, James Bourne and Matt Willis.

They're in Busted. Busted, says Beth. Here is your red line.

If you get below that, you're through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Busted.

It's right.

And you're through. Very well done.

Look at that! What a great answer. Nine.

Takes your total up to 41.

Well played, Beth. Not as cool as Yeah Yeah Yeahs,

but another good answer. I love Busted. They're great. They are.

Now, Jayne. How is this board for you?

Surely there's one you might know?

I think I know a couple of really obvious ones.

I'm pretty sure they'll score fairly highly.

I'll go for the bottom one.

Krist - I don't know how to pronounce it -

Novoselic, Kurt Cobain, David Grohl.

I think that's Nirvana. Nirvana, says Jayne. Nirvana.

You're the high scorers, so there's no red line for you.

Let's see how far down the column you get with Nirvana.

It's right.

42. Not bad. Takes your total up to 142.

Well played, Jayne. You've given yourself a chance there. Nirvana.

Absolutely right. Dave Grohl now in Foo Fighters.

Thanks very much. Now, Ollie,

this board is... Oh, no? No!

Oh, Ollie, this is terrible!

I don't like to admit it, but I actually knew Busted.

And all my uni friends will rinse me for that, but it's the only one I knew!

There's nothing wrong with Busted! There is, though, at the end of the day!

There's quite a few things wrong with Busted!

Now, Ollie, what were the names of these bands?

Problem is, I know that there's probably two there that everyone in the audience

Are like, "Come on, you must know that." And I honestly don't.

67 or less gets you in the head-to-head, Ollie.

I'm trying to make up a band name that sounds plausible.

I can't even do that! I'll tell you a good name - Colonel Kernel!

I'm mean really... Not a bad name. Not a bad name at all!

Do you play instruments? I play a bit of drums. OK, you're away.

OK, Ollie, let's have an answer, then.

OK.

I'm going to go for...

The Gibsons, for the three brothers.

Yeah.

The Gibsons. OK, The Gibsons.

You never know! You do never know, really.

No, we...

Occasionally, you do know.

Occasionally, you do know. True.

So for the Brothers Gibb, you're saying The Gibsons.

Let's see if that's right. There's your red line.

Let's see how many people said The Gibsons.

Bad luck!

Bad luck, Ollie.

Sorry.

Scores the maximum of 100 points.

An incorrect answer. Takes your total to 174.

Sorry, Ollie, I felt your pain there. I really did.

And it's a band you will have heard of, as well.

The Gibbs, it's the Bee Gees.

Oh, man! That's a sensible thing.

I technically should have thought of that.

Would have scored 89 points, though, and still seen you knocked out.

So it don't matter!

Only because everybody in the world knows it, that's...

Another band that probably in their day would have scored 89,

but score fewer now. Bruce Foxton, Paul Weller, Rick Buckler.

The Jam. Yep, scores 27 points.

Now, Dan Andriano, Matt Skiba and Derek Grant,

very well done to anyone who said Alkaline Trio.

Very good answer.

And this other one is a pointless answer. I didn't think it would be.

Yeah, Run-D.M.C. Absolutely. Yeah.

Well done if you said that at home. Pointless answer. There we are.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Jake and Ollie, a valiant attempt, but it was a tough board, that.

The Jam. Might you have ever guessed that? No.

I'm being honest with you!

OK. Fair enough. See you again next time, Ollie and Jake.

Look forward to that. Thanks very much for playing, Ollie and Jake!

For the remaining two pairs, it's time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Sian and Beth, Kassim and Jayne.

You're one step closer to the final and a chance to play for our jackpot, which stands at ?3,000.

We have to decide who's going to play for that money, so you'll go head-to-head.

The big difference is, you're now allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions will play for that money.

I think this will be a very close third round. Best of luck. Let's play the head-to-head.

Here's your first question. It concerns...

Trains in films. We'll show you five pictures now

from films which feature films set on trains.

Can you tell us the names of the films, please.

OK. Let's reveal our five trains in films. Here they are. We have got...

There we are. Five trains in five different films.

Sian and Beth, you've played best so far, so you get to go first.

If E is who I think it is, I think it's Jake Gyllenhaal in Source Code.

Source Code. E, Source Code.

Now, Kassim and Jayne,

the board is yours. Talk us through those films, if you can.

Right. We think we know two of the others for sure.

Well, we know The Beatles!

But we can't remember the name of the film.

We know that A is, I think, Murder on the Orient Express,

but we'll go for C, which we think is Polar Express.

Polar Express for C.

So, Sian and Beth say Source Code. Is that right,

and how many people said Source Code?

It's right.

That's a great answer! There we are. Nine!

Very well done, Sian and Beth.

Nine for Source Code.

Now, Kassim and Jayne are saying Polar Express for C.

Is that right? How many people said that?

It's right.

But nine it has to beat.

Good answer, but it doesn't beat Sian and Beth's excellent answer,

so, Sian and Beth, after one question you're up one-nil.

Source Code, excellent answer, excellent film.

Have you seen it? No. Duncan Jones directed it.

A is Murder on the Orient Express, but would have scored 41 points.

Albert Finney as Hercules Poirot.

The Beatles film is Hard Day's Night.

That would have scored you 22.

1964. Looking very young there.

And D is... The Lady Vanishes. Yep.

Hitchcock's Lady Vanishes. Six points for that.

Thanks very much indeed. Here's your second question.

Kassim and Jayne, you go first, but you need to win this to stay in the game. Best of luck.

It concerns...

Vatican City State. Richard?

Going to show you five clues about Vatican City. Give us the most obscure answer.

Thanks very much. Let's reveal our five clues. Here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

Kassim and Jayne, you go first this time.

I think we're going for the river.

It is... The Tiber.

The Tiber say Kassim and Jayne. The Tiber.

Sian and Beth, do you want to talk us through that board?

Well, we knew the Tiber.

Obviously the country is Italy.

And the chapel is the Sistine Chapel.

We could try and guess another one.

I think we should just go for the Sistine Chapel.

I think I should know the treaty. It's really annoying me.

Can you think of it? No.

Go for chapel. The chapel is the Sistine Chapel.

The Sistine Chapel say Sian and Beth. Sistine Chapel.

So we have the Tiber versus the Sistine Chapel.

Let's see if the Tiber is right from Kassim and Jayne. Let's see how many people said that.

Absolutely right.

19 for the Tiber.

Sian and Beth have said the Sistine Chapel.

Is it right, and if so, how many people said that?

It's right.

37 for the Sistine Chapel.

Which means Kassim and Jayne are back in the game.

After two questions it's one all.

Well played, Kassim and Jayne. It's a good head-to-head.

Let's look at the rest of the answers.

The country is Italy, but that would have scored you 81 points.

The name of the treaty. I hope you don't recognise it. It's the Lateran Treaty.

It scored seven points, so would have been a terrific answer.

And the daily newspaper is L'Osservatore Romano.

The Roman Observer. Would have scored two points. The best answer up there.

Thanks very much. OK. So here comes the decider.

Your third and final question. Whoever wins this goes through to the final to play for the jackpot.

Best of luck. It concerns...

Corps and regiments of the British army. Richard?

We'll show you five names of corps or regiments of the British army,

but we've removed alternate letters.

Can you replace those and give us the most obscure answer. Best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. Let's reveal our five corps or regiments. Here they are.

I'll read those all again without the blanks.

There we are. Now, then.

Sian and Beth, you go first this time.

We're going to go for the second one up.

It looks right.

Corps of Royal Engineers.

The Corps of Royal Engineers, say Sian and Beth.

Corps of Royal Engineers. Kassim and Jayne.

Which one do you want to go for?

It's a tough one.

I think the first one. I think the first one is the Intelligence Corps.

The last one is the Infantry.

But I think we're going to go for the third one, which is the Brigade of Gurkhas.

The Brigade of Gurkhas. Brigade of Gurkhas say Kassim and Jayne.

So we have the Corps of Royal Engineers from Sian and Beth.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

It's a good answer. Look at that. 11. Very well done.

Good answer, Sian and Beth.

Kassim and Jayne say the Brigade of Gurkhas. Is it right, and if so, how many people said that?

It is right.

11 is what it's got to beat.

And it does! Look at that - four.

Very well done, Kassim and Jayne. Brigade of Gurkhas wins it for you.

Which means, Kassim and Jayne, after three questions you're through to the final two-one. Well done.

Well played, Kassim and Jayne. You could tell that was a good answer cos the audience went, "Ooh!",

when you said it. You know it's good when they do that.

Corps of Royal Engineers was a good answer as well.

Infantry, down the bottom.

Too big a score, though. 46 points.

You were right about the Intelligence Corps.

That scored 14.

I was trying to work out this next one.

There's three words you can work out fairly easily.

"Royal" you can work out. "Army" you can work out.

And "corps" at the end.

The only thing I could think that fitted was Royal Army Dental Corps.

That's the only thing I had. And that's the right answer!

That is a pointless answer.

The Royal Army Dental Corps!

Wow!

What about that!

Thanks very much indeed. So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head,

you've done so well in both shows, Sian and Beth.

I'm sorry we have to say goodbye.

You came up against Kassim and Jayne who whipped it out from under your noses there with the Gurkhas.

Very well done. It's been lovely having you on both shows.

Thanks very much for playing, Sian and Beth.

But for Kassim and Jayne, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Well, Kassim and Jayne, many congratulations.

You've seen off the competition and won our coveted Pointless trophy. Very well done.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot. At the end of today's show it stands at ?3,000.

Well, you've come, you've seen and you've conquered.

Fantastic. What would you like to see come up in this last round?

Hmm. Something about Malaysia?

As always, you start this round off by choosing a category.

Here are your four options.

Wow.

What do you think German sport might be?

I don't know. German sport.

Irish Geography, I don't know about that. Right.

Rock Punk, forget it.

So we're just left with British Politics. What do you think?

British Politics, then, yes.

It's got to be British Politics. Not a favourite, but we'll go for it.

OK. British Politics it is. Richard?

Here are your three categories. They're all about people who've held particular offices

for a particular length of time.

So we're looking for anybody who has been...

Or anybody who's held any of the great offices of state -

Chancellor, Home Secretary and Foreign Secretary.

Any of those offices for six or more years.

We're looking for continuous terms in those posts.

So not if someone's done it for three years, then four years.

It has to be a continuous term for all of those categories.

Very best of luck.

OK. As always, you have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

To win the jackpot of ?3,000, just one of those answers has to be pointless.

Remember, the answers you give can come from any of these categories.

It can be one from each, two from one, one from another. It's entirely up to you.

OK. Are you ready?

Are you ready? Yes.

OK. Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

Your time starts now.

CONFER QUIETLY

Any leaders?

How about holder of a great office of state?

Who did the Welfare Bill?

Welfare. Welfare...

My mind's going blank now. National health.

Let's go David Lloyd George. OK.

Let's go for somebody like Anthony Eden. OK.

Let's go, um...

Anthony Eden. Lloyd George.

Michael Portillo. Michael Portillo, OK.

Right. OK. Are you happy with those? Yes.

So we'll stop the clock there.

OK. Let's have your three answers.

We've got to allocate them.

So we're going for holders of a great office of state for six or more years,

we'll go Anthony Eden.

Anthony Eden. Leader of the Conservative or Labour Party, David Lloyd George. David Lloyd George.

David Lloyd George. And another holder of a great office of state,

Michael Portillo. Michael Portillo.

Holder of a great office of state.

Of those three, which is your best crack at a pointless answer?

None!

I think David Lloyd George. David Lloyd George. We'll put him last.

Which is your least likely to be pointless? Michael Portillo.

Michael Portillo we'll put first.

Let's put those up on the board in that order.

Here they are. We have got...

Your first answer was Michael Portillo.

If this is correct and it's pointless, you will win ?3,000.

Kassim, what would you do with your share of the jackpot?

I might...put it towards

a holiday back to Malaysia for me and Jayne,

because Jayne has not been back for the past 12 years.

Jayne, anything else you have a burning need for?

We've just moved house. I did want a lawn mower, but somebody's kindly donated one of those.

But patio furniture and a barbecue would go down well. Very good indeed.

Good stuff. Three answers on the board.

Let's hope at least one of those is a pointless answer so you can win that jackpot.

Your first answer was Michael Portillo.

Let's find out for ?3,000

is Michael Portillo a person who's held a great office of state for six or more years?

Ooh, bad luck.

Bad luck. Two more shots at that jackpot.

Your second answer was Anthony Eden.

If this is pointless, it wins you that jackpot.

So for ?3,000 let's find out. Did Anthony Eden hold a great office of state for six or more years?

No, bad luck!

Bad luck. Everything is now riding on your third and final answer.

David Lloyd George. If this is right,

you'll win that jackpot of ?3,000.

Let's find out. David Lloyd George.

Was he the leader of either the Labour or Conservative party for six or more years?

Oh, bad luck!

I'm so sorry.

Never mind! I'm so sorry. That was a really tough board, that.

You had four options, none of which you particularly liked.

I'm sorry. We've had such fun, though. Great.

It's been fantastic having you on the show. You didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer.

So you don't win today's jackpot of ?3,000.

That will roll over onto the next show. We've enjoyed having you on the programme.

And you do get to take home a Pointless trophy. So it wasn't an empty journey! No.

Very well done.

It has been lovely having you on.

You hit on a particularly difficult one there.

There are very few pointless answers.

I'll go through your answers. Michael Portillo hasn't held any of those offices of state.

He was Shadow Chancellor, briefly.

Anthony Eden was Foreign Secretary three times on separate occasions

so didn't do six years continuously.

And Lloyd George was a Liberal leader, Liberal prime minister.

Although he was a correct answer for holders of a great office of state.

You would have scored two points for that.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers for all of them.

Andrew Bonar Law was a Tory leader for more than six years.

A pointless answer. Very well done if you said that.

The big scorers there, as you can imagine, Betty Boothroyd would have scored 28,

George Thomas, Michael Martin scored points. Bernard Weatherill as well.

Edward Grey is the only one up there.

So really, really tough.

You've played terrifically well throughout and chose a very tough category at the end.

Anyone who got a pointless answer today, you've done well. Well played.

Thanks very much indeed. Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye, Kassim and Jayne.

We've loved having you on the show. Thanks so much for playing, Kassim and Jayne. Wonderful.

Kassim and Jayne didn't win our jackpot today so it rolls over to the next show

when we'll be playing for ?4,000.

Join us to see if someone can win it. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard. Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye!

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