Episode 34 Pointless

CHEERING

Thank you very much indeed! Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong

and welcome to Pointless, the quiz show where you are

rewarded for knowing obscure answers.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one...

I'm Greg, this is my son-in-law Gary,

we're from Rossendale in East Lancashire.

Couple number two. Hi, I'm Laura, I'm from Bury

and this is my flat-mate Georgia from the Wirral.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Scott. This is my friend Alan and we're from

Lanarkshire in Scotland.

And, finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Matthew and this is Alice and we're friends

and former housemates during our time at the University of Bristol.

And these are today's contestants.

Thanks to all of you, we'll find out more about you throughout

the show as it goes along.

That just leaves one more person to introduce -

a man who eats, sleeps and breathes facts.

In fact, just this last week,

he's devoured Dante's Inferno, been to bed with Jane Austen

and inhaled the entire works of Shakespeare.

It is my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody.

Good afternoon. And to you.

We had an incredibly rare event last time -

three pointless answers in the jackpot round from Phil and Ruth.

They were brilliant throughout, weren't they? Did ever so well.

Had questions on German federal districts

and used to live in Germany.

They not only knew them, but knew how to pronounce them.

That was impressive. Made me look terrible.

I wasn't happy at all.

I don't like it if people know how things are supposed to be pronounced.

We've only got one returning pair - that was Matthew and Alice.

Joined the 200 Club in the first round

but were very unlucky to join the 200 Club -

gave us two good answers,

they just didn't quite meet the criteria we were looking for.

Hopefully, we'll see a little bit more from you today.

Nice first round coming up as well. Good stuff. Thanks very much.

Now, all our questions on Pointless

have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants need to find the obscure answers

those people couldn't get.

They're trying to find a pointless answer

which is an answer none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we'll add ?250 to the jackpot.

You'll have gathered the jackpot was won last time,

so today's jackpot starts off back at ?1,000.

If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

In this first round, I'll take an answer from each of you

but there's to be no conferring.

At the end of the round,

the pair with the highest score will be heading home,

so do all you can to make sure it's not you.

Our first category today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who'll go first, who'll go second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

Words ending A-N-G-E. Richard?

We're looking for any word with its own entry

in the Oxford Dictionary of English that ends in A-N-G-E.

No hyphenated words, no proper nouns, no trademarks, anything like that.

Any word ending A-N-G-E. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much. Gary and Greg, you all drew lots before the show,

and today you're going to go first.

Greg, welcome to the show. What do you do, Greg?

I'm retired now, but I used... Well,

I still own my own business with my wife.

But we're now retired for about two-and-a-half years,

living the life of leisure.

What was your business? We are decorators' merchants.

So we sell paint, wallpaper, etc to the trade.

Excellent. Now you've retired, what do you like to do?

We have a motor home,

we go everywhere around Europe and elsewhere.

I play short tennis. Short tennis?

Well, you play with a shorter racket and a soft ball

and on a badminton court, so it's a bit smaller game than...

What was wrong normal tennis?

Too slow to get round the court - it's better when you're a bit...

I see. OK, fair enough.

Greg, what are you going to go for?

I've given you a little time to think of words ending A-N-G-E.

Derange.

Derange, says Greg - that's good. Derange.

Let's find out if it's right. Let's see how many said derange.

26.

26 for derange, Greg.

Very well played.

As in, "De Himalayas are derange of mountains in Nepal."

Thanks very much indeed. Pleasure.

Now, Georgia - welcome. Hi. Great to have you here.

What do you do, Georgia? I'm a student. Whereabouts?

The University of Glasgow. What year are you in?

I've just finished my final year, fourth year. That's it! Mm-hm.

So the real world beckons. Unfortunately.

We're your launch pad into the real world - I like that.

Yeah. What are you hoping to do? That's the big question.

Hopefully, you know, be on TV shows for a while.

Well, it's only for the next 45 minutes, yeah.

LAUGHTER

Um...no, I'm hoping to get on a graduate scheme

in the September intake. So... Into what?

Into any profession that will have me!

Hopefully I'll be able to apply myself to anything -

PR, marketing, those kind of things.

OK - well, no better platform than Pointless

to get your wares out there.

As you can see, Georgia is available from right now.

If you want to get in touch, press the red button

and you'll get her CV... Although...

Do wait until you hear her answer, because, you know,

if it's terrible, then...

You might come up with a good one, then everything's happy.

OK. Bad one, though, and then...might be quite difficult.

That would be disappointing.

A bad one, you'll be in prison within five to six years,

I would have thought.

I do have one, but I think it's maybe a bit too risky.

As long as it ends in A-N-G-E.

Oh, you think it might be hyphenated?

No, I don't know if it's a real word.

I'm going to go... I'm going to go with blancmange.

Blancmange. Yeah. Blancmange.

She's available to be hired. Press the red button.

OK, let's see if that's right

and how many of our 100 people said it.

It's absolutely right, obviously. 26 is our only score so far.

Where's it going to be in relation to that?

Passes that comfortably - 20. Very well done indeed.

Great answer, Georgia.

Yeah, terrific answer, Georgia. Very well played.

I would employ Georgia, if I was...

That's just reminded me of two things -

a great band from the '80s... Blancmange... ..and pudding.

Mmm! Mmm!

Pudding. I do like pudding. So do I.

If I had to choose every day between main course and pudding...

Pudding every time. Yeah.

You don't have to choose, fortunately.

Sometimes you have to choose between pudding and cheese.

I struggle there. Do you? Yeah.

Pudding and starter, always pudding. Always pudding, yes.

Starter's just silly.

And as for bread, what are they thinking about there?

Before the starter, when you're really hungry,

they go, "Perhaps you'd like some of this."

You go, "Ooh, I would. Um-um-yum..."

Then they come with a starter, you think, "I couldn't eat that!"

Now then, Alan, welcome to the show. Good to have you here.

What do you do, Alan? I work in a bank in Glasgow.

What department of the bank do you work in?

Are you a cashier? Investment - wealth management.

Wealth management - I see, OK. So an investment bank.

How long have you done that for? Been there for nine months.

Are people nicer about bankers in Glasgow than they are here?

It's fine - don't mind, up there.

What do you get up to in your spare time, Alan?

Em...play a bit of football, bit of golf, go out with my mates,

and I used to be in a pipe band.

What did you do in that? Were you a piper?

No, I used to be...

I always describe it as the guy at the front with the stick.

The drum major. You were the drum major?

So you turn, you...twiddle... Yeah, do all that stuff.

And how far have you taken your drum majoring?

I was actually world champion a few years back.

Get...out...of...town! What about that?

You were the world champion? What did that involve?

Em, there's a few things. You get marked on how you look -

obviously how you dress, not how you look... OK.

Your marching and your flourishing, which is all the fancy stuff.

You can flourish well. I'm pretty good.

Are you essentially saying there was a swimsuit round?

Look at that! Superb. How long ago was that?

That was 2003, so...15, I was. Heady days. Heady days.

Anyway, Alan, we need a word ending A-N-G-E.

Eh...got a few, but I think I'm going to one that's pretty safe.

I'm going to go for exchange.

Exchange says Alan. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many said exchange.

Well, 26 our high, 20 our low at this stage.

Oh, look at that, you passed them both.

A new low, there, with exchange.

And a good word for a banker as well. Yeah.

Good word for a banker to come up with,

not a good word FOR a banker.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Alice, welcome back -

our only returning pair, Matthew and Alice.

Tell us what happened last time. Um...we failed.

You didn't, you...

Well, you did, you scored 200 points,

but you were going about it in a very proper Pointless kind of way.

You were trying very hard to find low-scoring answers.

Remind us what you do, Alice. I'm a PhD student.

What's your area? I'm studying bioscience,

so I'm trying to produce biofuels in algae.

This is... I think it's just a brilliant area.

How long have you been doing your PhD?

Just under a year.

Just under a year, and another three to go after this. Yeah.

And by the end of it, you will have found a car

that runs on grass, which is just superb.

Now then, Alice, what are you going to go for?

A word ending in A-N-G-E.

Not very good with words

and I can't really spell very well.

Um...so...

I don't know if it's spelt correctly, but...rearrange?

Rearrange, says Alice. Rearrange.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said rearrange.

It's right.

22 - not bad at all.

Not bad at all.

22 for rearrange.

Well played, Alice.

Alice is someone you'd allow not to be able to spell properly,

cos she's going to save the world. She is.

Honestly, concentrate on what you're good at, I would say.

Leave the spelling to everyone else. She's not bad - "rearrange."

That was a very good answer. Thanks very much.

We're halfway through the round, let's look at the scores -

19, best score of that pass, Alan - well done to you.

Up to 20, where we find Georgia and Laura.

Up to 22, where we find Alice and Matthew,

then up to 26, where we find Greg and Gary.

Gary, we'll need a nice low score from you in the next pass.

You have to hope it's enough

to keep the Rossendale team in Pointless today.

Coming back down the line -

will the second player please take their place?

OK. Matthew - words ending in A-N-G-E.

Matthew, remind us what you're doing?

I'm also doing a PhD,

but I'm looking into how snapdragons produce hairs.

Are you really? Yes, yeah. And how do they?

Um, well...that's the point of the project, I suppose.

I've got three more years to work it out.

How they produce hairs?

Little cilia that grow on snapdragons?

Yeah, and it protects them from drought and things like that.

I tell you what, you better be able to spell,

cos that's not saving the world.

OK - now, Matthew, to avoid becoming the high scorers,

you really would want to be scoring 3 or less.

OK, well...I guess I'll "mix it up" a little

and say melange.

Good - on both scores, in fact. Good.

Melange says Matthew, melange.

There is your red line, it's very, very low.

I wonder if melange can get you down there?

It's right.

6 for melange.

Best score so far, Matthew, well done.

Takes your total up to 28.

Very well played, Matthew - a varied mixture, melange,

and terrific work on podium four.

They were unlucky last time, and I think - I assume -

that will see you safely through. Well played.

Very well done. Now, Scott, welcome. What do you do, Scott?

I'm a PE teacher,

but I'm currently working for a qualifications awarding body

as a liaison manager.

What sort of qualifications are those?

All types of qualifications -

the Scottish equivalent of GSCEs, basically.

What are your hobbies? I'm guessing sports...

Yeah, very sporty.

I enjoy my football, golf, badminton...

But more or less football or golf. Bit of short tennis in there, Scott?

Not so much short tennis.

I prefer full-size tennis courts, to be honest.

OK, now, Scott, you want to be scoring eight or less

to avoid becoming the new high scorers.

Do you think you can do that? Struggling, to be honest with you.

Em...there's a few risky ones and there's a few I can think of,

but I'm not sure if they're hyphenated.

So I'm going to just go for arrange.

Arrange, says Scott, arrange.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many said arrange.

There's your red line.

44 for arrange.

Takes your total up to 63, Scott.

Could have been a lot worse, I think.

Rearrange scored 22 and arrange scores 44.

That is maths. Yeah.

Now, Laura, welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here.

What do you do?

Like Georgia, I've just finished my degree at Glasgow University.

Just finished. Yeah. Sad to leave?

Very sad, I've had a great time up there.

Happy years up there. What were you reading? History.

And have you got plans for the rest of life?

Um...no long-term plans at the minute.

I've got a job in America for a few months,

but after that...don't know.

Excellent. Best of luck with that. You're currently on 20.

To avoid becoming the high scorers, 42 or less is your target. Yeah.

I've got a few options. There's one that's risky,

then the rest are kind of rubbish,

so I'm going to go with the risky one, I think.

I'm going to say phalange. Phalange.

Let's see if that's right and, if so, how many people said it.

There is your red line.

It's right.

And you're through to the next round, very well done.

1! Best score so far.

Very well done.

1 takes your total up to 21, through you go.

That's a terrific answer, Laura. Very well played.

Gary, welcome. What do you do? I'm in sales.

Can we ask what you sell?

Last ten years, it's been working for various bathroom manufacturers,

so toilets, basins, baths...bathroom products.

In your spare time, what do you get up to?

I play a lot of badminton for a local team

and I'm a fully qualified referee,

so I referee a lot of youth football.

Are you? Do you enjoy that? I do. I really enjoy it.

Are they generally nice to you? After about five minutes, yeah.

What do you do in those five minutes?

Make sure they know not to mess about.

OK, fair enough. Fair enough.

Anyway, you're on 26.

If you can score 36 or less, you're in Round Two, Gary.

Is this the sort of round you like? Em...not really, no.

I did say to my children - or they said to me -

I'd probably bottle out and go for a safe answer.

So I'm not going to, I don't think.

So I'm going to go for...interchange.

Yeah, got some nice noises from the audience there.

Interchange, OK. Here's your red line.

If you get below that, you're in Round Two.

It's right, obviously.

There you go - take your place in Round Two.

Still going down...look at that!

Second-best answer of the round, Gary. Very well done.

28 is your total.

I have to say, looking down the list of answers here

and looking at the answers you gave us,

everything you've given us is right down the far end of the list.

Terrific round from everybody.

Arrange is the only one that scored too highly.

Prearrange was going to be mine. Prearrange? Yeah.

Arrange scored 44...

Oh, lord, I know what's going to happen...

Rearrange scored 22.

So you take off 22 each time, right? Yeah.

Take off 44 to 22, take off another 22.

Prearrange is a pointless answer. Oh, is it? Yeah. Hey! Oh, good.

Very well done, very well done.

You missed one low-scoring word, everybody.

Five points for estrange. Estrange - not a bad score.

Apart from that, honestly, on the list,

every single one of them - gone.

Very impressive. Very impressive.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers.

Quite tough - you've done well if you got one of these.

Counterchange, which is to make a chequered pattern on something.

Downchange, omnirange would have been a pointless answer.

Outrange - there's prearrange, well done -

and vendange, which is a French grape harvest.

Let's look at the top answers,

the ones that most of our 100 people said.

Mange would have scored you 47.

Strange would have scored you 52.

And it's been at the end of all these other words -

range would have scored you 83 points.

Thanks very much, Richard.

At the end of our first round, I'm sorry to say it's Scott and Alan

who will be heading away with their high score of 63.

Arrange, it was a big score there, but nothing wrong with it,

two good answers.

We had to have a high scorer in there,

I'm afraid it turned out to be you.

We look forward to seeing you next time.

Thanks for playing. Scott and Alan, everyone.

For the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Three pairs remain, and obviously,

we'll be saying goodbye to another pair

at the end of this round.

That was very well done, that last round.

Some great answers in there - melange from Matthew,

phalange from Laura and interchange from Gary.

Yes, great answers there.

None of you have been here before - Matthew and Alice,

our returning pair, left in Round One last time,

so welcome to Round Two to all three pairs.

Our category is...

People - can you decide in your pairs who'll go first

and who'll go second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Famous people born in Cardiff. Richard?

On each pass, we'll show you six clues

to famous people born in Cardiff.

You just have to tell us who they are.

12 in all to have a go at at home.

Thanks very much.

Here's our first board of six famous Cardiff people...

I'll read those all one last time.

There you are - six clues to six people born in Cardiff.

Gary?

Right, well, there's one up there that I've got to go for.

If I get it wrong, I will get caned back home.

But it's the TV writer

who introduced the Daleks to Doctor Who.

I think it's Terry Nation. Terry Nation, says Gary.

Good Doctor Who knowledge there - assuming it's right, obviously.

Good...

Terry Nation.

Let's see if it's right and, if so, how many people said it.

It's absolutely right. Very well done, Gary.

Oh, it's brilliant - look at that! 8, Gary.

That'll be a tough score to beat. Well played, Gary.

You've had a terrific start to your Pointless career there.

The people at home are big Doctor Who fans, are they? Well...me.

He used to work as a joke writer for Tony Hancock, Terry Nation.

He fell out with Tony Hancock and got the job on Doctor Who

and invented the word "Dalek". They discovered recently...

I think I'm right in saying this - it means "alien" in Croatian,

but he had no idea about that at all.

Clever man. Weird, isn't it? Yeah.

Now then, Laura, who are all these people born in Cardiff?

Yeah...I know a couple,

but I think I'm going to go for the comedy partner of Mel Smith

and say Sue Perkins.

Sue Perkins, says Laura, for the comedy partner of Mel Smith.

Let's see if that's right and, if so, how many people said it.

No! Bad luck, bad luck, Laura.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

I know what you're thinking of, but that's not right, I'm afraid.

100 points is what you score for that, sorry.

I think we all see the accident that just happened there.

Sue Perkins is the comedy partner of Mel Giedroyc.

Yeah. Not Mel Smith, sorry.

Now, Matthew, you are the last person to have this board.

Do you think you can talk us through it? Absolutely not. Um...

I'm glad that takes the pressure off a little bit.

Um...oh...

I think the long-serving Man United midfielder will be Ryan Giggs

and I don't know whether the Paralympic athlete

will be Tanni Grey-Thompson but she doesn't sound Welsh, so...

Um...

Lead singer of Catatonia is somewhere deep in my mind

and I can't find it all.

I'm going to say Ryan Giggs for the long-serving footballer.

Ryan Giggs, you're going to say.

Let's see if it's right and how many people said it.

It is right.

37.

Not a bad score in the context, Matthew.

Well played, Matthew.

Tanni Grey-Thompson doesn't sound Welsh,

but her real name is Carys and she was born in Cardiff.

Would have been a terrific answer, would've scored 16 points.

Probably not a risk worth taking, though, cos you knew Ryan Giggs.

Now, I bet you can fill in these other three.

I think I can. The comedy partner of Mel Smith?

Griff Rhys Jones. Absolutely. Mel and Griff, 58 points there.

The former lead singer of Catatonia?

Lovely Cerys Matthews. Lovely Cerys Matthews, yeah.

Would've scored 27.

And the journalist?

Jon Ronson. Jon Ronson. Worth reading everything he writes,

but a pointless answer on this occasion.

Very well done if you said Jon Ronson.

Thanks very much indeed.

We're halfway through the round. Let's look at the scores.

8, the best score of that pass -

Gary, well done, your Pointless copybook

is, so far, unblemished.

Then up to 37,

where Matthew and Alice are,

then up to 100 - sorry, Laura and Georgia.

That was a good answer, but a wrong answer,

as Roy Walker would have said.

We need, at the very least, a low score from you, Georgia,

and hope that's enough to see you through.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, let's put six more clues on the board - here they are...

I'll read those all one last time.

Now, Alice, we're looking for the names of these famous people

born in Cardiff, all described by these clues.

How's that board for you? Um...OK, I think. I think...

My housemate is a Spurs supporter, so I think I'll got with that one -

that's Gareth Bale?

Gareth Bale, says Alice. Gareth Bale.

You want to score 62 or less

to avoid becoming the new high scorers.

There's your red line. That's what 62 looks like.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

You are through to the head-to-head, very well done, Alice.

21, great answer.

58 is your total.

Good answer - also won it in 2013 as well.

Won Young Player Of The Year and Player Of The Year.

Brilliant player.

Thanks, Richard. Now, Georgia...

Em... You know what you need to do here.

I only know two, em...

But I'm going to go for the less obvious one, obviously.

OK - well, if you are going to survive,

the only way it would be would be if Greg made a mistake

and scored 100, which would take their total up to 108,

so really, you want to be scoring 7 or less with your answer.

So...yeah. I'm going to go for the former Blue Peter presenter

once engaged to Katherine Jenkins

and say Gethin Jones.

OK, Gethin Jones, says Georgia. No red line for you.

Let's see if it's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It is right.

13.

Not a bad score at all.

Second-lowest of the whole round, Georgia.

A valiant effort, Georgia - yeah, very well played.

Gary, do you know who Gethin Jones once played in Doctor Who?

Eh, no. He once played a Cyberman.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Greg.

Greg, the board's all yours. Do you fancy talking us through it?

A bit of a struggle, really. I think I know a couple.

Obviously, the singer is Shirley Bassey

and the journalist, is that John Humphrys?

Um...

I don't know the rest, but I'll play safe,

I don't want to let Gary down. Shirley Bassey.

You are already through to the head-to-head,

but let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

It is right, of course.

85 - big score, there.

Takes your total up 93, but you are through anyway.

Yeah, a couple of toughies on this board.

You're right about John Humphrys.

Would've been a much lower score, but you're through anyway.

Would've scored you 24.

The clergyman is the Reverend Roger Royle.

That would have scored you 1 point, well done if you knew that.

It's a pointless answer, this next one -

composer, singer and actor

who starred in Hitchcock's The Lodger.

Very well done if you said Ivor Novello.

Ivor Novello was the answer there. Really? Yeah. Wow.

Thank you very much, Richard.

At the end of the round, I'm afraid it's Georgia and Laura

who we have to say goodbye to, with their high score of 113.

Bad luck. As soon as I said Sue Perkins,

I knew I'd made a mistake.

I knew two of the other answers as well, so...

Oh, that's annoying. Never mind.

It all bodes very well for when we next see you, next show.

We look forward to that very much.

Meantime, thanks for playing, Georgia and Laura.

For the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Matthew and Alice, Gary and Greg.

You're one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at ?1,000.

Our task in this round

is to find out who's going through to the final. To do that,

you're now going head-to-head.

The big difference is you're now allowed to confer,

so you can have a chat before you answer

and the first pair to win two questions

will play for the jackpot.

Matthew and Alice, you were out in the first round last time.

Look how the fallen are made mighty.

You are our lowest-scoring pair,

our golden couple in the head-to-head round.

How are you feeling? Not too bad. Much happier this time. Good.

Two great answers - two footballers, in fact - in that last round,

Gareth Bale and Ryan Giggs, saw you through.

Gary and Greg, very solid performance from you.

Shirley Bassey was a high scorer. Should have said John Humphrys.

You knew you were already through, so it was fine.

Very best of luck to both pairs, it's going to be an exciting round.

Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...

Science Fiction/Double Feature.

We're going to show you five stills from science fiction films

all mentioned in the lyrics of the Rocky Horror Picture Show song

Science Fiction/Double Feature.

We need you to tell us the name of any of the films you're about to see.

OK. Thanks very much.

Let's reveal our five stills - here they come.

There we are, five science fiction shows

that feature in the Science Fiction/Double Feature song

from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Matthew and Alice, you've played best throughout the show,

you get to go first.

CONTESTANTS WHISPER

OK, well...this is a bit of a hopeless round for us.

We're too busy doing real science rather than science fiction.

Those snapdragons aren't going to grow hairs on their own, are they?

Troublesome. Yeah.

Um...I think, as a result,

we're going to have to go for a very obvious one in King Kong,

which is E.

E, King Kong, say Matthew and Alice. E, King Kong.

Gary, something about your knowledge of Doctor Who

tells me you might be quite good at this.

Again, I should know some.

I think A is Flash Gordon.

B...I don't have a clue. D is the Invisible Man.

I think we'll go for C, we think it's Forbidden Planet.

You're going to say C, Forbidden Planet.

So we have E, King Kong, and C, Forbidden Planet.

Matthew and Alice said E, King Kong.

Let's see if that's right and, if so,

how many of our 100 people said that.

It is, of course...

Ooh, look at that! 91 for King Kong.

That is quite a...quite a recognisable still,

I'd say, probably - there we are.

Gary and Greg have said Forbidden Planet for C. Forbidden Planet.

Let's see if that's right and, if so, how many people said that.

It's right and it wins you the point.

6 - very well done, Gary.

And Greg.

After one question, Gary and Greg, you are up 1-0.

Well played. Let's take a look through the rest of this board.

A is Flash Gordon. Would have scored you 24 points.

B is a pointless answer. It is It Came From Outer Space.

Would have scored you nothing at all. Well done if you said that at home.

And D is The Invisible Man

and that would've scored you 44.

Thank you very much.

Here comes your second question.

Matthew and Alice, you must win this to stay in the game. Best of luck.

It concerns...

Well, football did well for you in Round Two,

let's hope it'll save your bacon here in this round. Richard?

Going to give you five sets of initials now

of players who've scored an FA Cup goal.

We'll also give you their team and the year they did it.

Can you tell us who they are, please?

OK. Let's reveal our five clues and here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

Gary and Greg, you get to go first this time.

THEY WHISPER

Are we going to gamble? No, no.

I say we go for Lawrie Sanchez... I do, I agree with that, yeah.

Em...we're going to go for Wimbledon in '88...

You're not going to go for Bolton Wanderers?

We think we know it, but... Greg thinks he has an inkling,

but not when we're up first, no.

Really? No. I'm not that old, by the way!

But, eh... Em...so, yeah,

we're saying Lawrie Sanchez for Wimbledon.

OK. Lawrie Sanchez, say Gary and Greg.

Lawrie Sanchez.

Matthew and Alice,

do you think you can talk us through the board at all?

We weren't born in the other two.

So the ones that are left are Liverpool and Chelsea,

which is Didier Drogba.

I think we're going to go for Michael Owen for Liverpool.

OK. Michael Owen, say Matthew and Alice,

for Liverpool.

We have Lawrie Sanchez and Michael Owen.

Gary and Greg have gone for Lawrie Sanchez -

let's see if that's right, let's see how many said that.

It's right.

Very well done indeed.

Yet another astonishingly low score from the Gary/Greg partnership.

Matthew and Alice have gone for Michael Owen.

Let's see if that's right and, if so, how many people said that.

It is right,

but 8 is what it has to beat.

36 for Michael Owen.

Very well done - Gary and Greg, after only two questions,

you're through to the final, 2-0. Brilliant.

Unlucky, Matthew and Alice.

Not great questions for you, but glad you came this far,

although you have just lost all sympathy

by revealing you weren't born in 1988, so...

Um, now that bottom one, Greg -

I got this, very pleased with myself...

It wasn't David Jack, was it?

It was David Jack - absolutely right.

A pointless answer, as well.

You know what? No point risking it,

Lawrie Sanchez was a terrific answer.

There you go. That was before they were born, and they got it -

it can be done.

DD, you were right, Matthew - Didier Drogba.

Would've scored 24 points - fewer than Michael Owen,

but wouldn't have won you the point.

And TB?

Trevor Brooking.

That would've scored 20.

Thanks very much, Richard.

The pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head,

I'm afraid it's Matthew and Alice.

Two perfectly correct answers, this round.

They were just tougher for you, I think.

They didn't fall particularly well.

But you performed so well throughout the whole show

and you've been our low scorers up to this round.

Very well done, I'm sorry we have to say goodbye.

But thanks very much for playing - Matthew and Alice.

For Gary and Greg, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Gary and Greg.

You've fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

Very well done indeed.

You now have the chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and today, our jackpot stands at ?1,000.

You have done so well.

Gary, we've had some really very impressive answering from you,

and from you, Greg. Thank you.

You knew that pointless answer, David Jack,

and you might've gone for that.

Not in the head-to-head - too chancy.

You start this round off, as always, by choosing a category.

You have four options - they are...

It's either Test Match Captains or Tom Cruise.

Tom Cruise will be films.

Test matches, both of us... Both of us.

And I know way back.

Yeah. Yeah.

We'll have a bash at Test Match Captains, please.

Test Match Captains it is. OK - Richard?

Yeah, good luck - I'm going to give you three categories now.

Take any of your answers from any of these.

We're looking for...

Any man who's captained any of those test teams

in an official test in the last 20 years.

Very, very best of luck.

OK. As always, you've got one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot of ?1,000

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Your answers can come from any of these categories -

they can all come from one category, one from each,

two from one, one from another.

It's up to you. Are you ready? Yeah. As ready as we'll ever be.

Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are - your time starts now.

India, em...Gambhir?

Gambhir, yeah. There's one. What's his first name?

We've got to have his first name, haven't we? Gautam Gambhir?

Let's try and think of the others as well.

South Africa. Imran Khan, of course. Yeah.

Azharuddin, Mohammad Azharuddin.

Francis de Villiers? Yeah.

Um...Graeme, obviously, now.

Who's filled in for him?

He's been there for a while, hasn't he?

When Donald was bowling, who was his captain?

Shaun Pollock's been captain. He has. Oh, Graeme Pollock.

No, he's back in the '60s, before they... Oh, yeah.

I'm thinking of Shaun Pollock, Peter Pollock.

Shaun Pollock's done it. Shaun Pollock might be a good one.

Francis de Villiers might be a good one.

OK, both South Africans.

India, you've got Gambhir, Azharuddin...

Rahul Dravid's done it.

Mohammad Azharuddin.

Ten seconds left.

I reckon Azharuddin. We'll go Azharuddin,

Francis de Villiers and Shaun Pollock.

Yeah, two South African and one India.

Yeah, we'll have a go at that. Yeah.

OK, that's your time up.

I need your three answers - what are you going to give me?

For the test match captains for India, Mohammad Azharuddin.

Mohammad Azharuddin.

And then we're going to go two for the captains of South Africa -

Francis de Villiers. Francis de Villiers.

And Shaun Pollock. And Shaun Pollock, OK.

Of those three,

which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

He might have not been in the last 20 years.

I'd have said De Villiers, best chance. OK.

Francis de Villiers, we'll put last. Which is your least likely?

Shaun Pollock. We'll put that first.

Let's put those answers up on the board in that order.

Here they are. We've got...

Very, very best of luck. Your first answer was Shaun Pollock.

If this is correct and it's pointless,

you'll leave here with ?1,000.

Gary, what would you do with that?

Em...it'd be a weekend away somewhere with my lovely wife,

Greg's daughter - probably just London or something like that.

We haven't been away for a while, so...

OK. Greg, how about you?

My wife and I are saving up like mad

for a motor home holiday in New Zealand.

So this would go towards it, so that's great. Good.

Three good answers on the board.

Let's hope one of those is pointless for you

and wins that jackpot - best of luck.

Let's find out, for ?1,000,

has Shaun Pollock been a test captain of South Africa

in the last 20 years?

Yes, he has. Well, as we've discussed,

if this goes all the way down to zero,

you'll leave with ?1,000.

Shaun Pollock, taking us down through the teens,

into single figures, down it goes...

4 - great answer.

Yet another single figure score from the Gary/Greg partnership.

Fantastic answer, sadly not a pointless answer.

Only two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your second answer was Mohammad Azharuddin.

Let's find out - if it's correct and it's pointless,

it'll win you that jackpot for ?1,000.

Has Mohammad Azharuddin been the captain of an Indian test side

in the last 20 years?

Yes, he has.

Now, Shaun Pollock, your first answer,

took us down to 4.

Mohammad Azharuddin, now taking us down through the twenties,

through the teens, into single figures.

Down it goes, still going down...

1 - this is very good indeed. Very well done.

GREG EXHALES

Yet another fantastic low score from you.

Sadly, not pointless.

Everything is now riding on your third and final answer,

Francis de Villiers.

OK. Let's find out, for ?1,000, has Francis de Villiers captained

a South African test side in the last 20 years?

Best of luck, Gary and Greg.

No! Bad luck!

Bad luck.

Two brilliant answers there.

You came so close, tantalisingly close,

but didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer

which means you don't win today's jackpot of ?1,000.

That will roll over.

We really enjoyed having you on and you have been fantastic.

And you get to take home a Pointless trophy,

so it wasn't all in vain. No.

Oh, that was harsh. What a cracking team, though.

You come across more as father and son

than father-in-law and son-in-law.

A great team together.

I think you were thinking of AB de Villiers,

but he's only been a one-day captain, hasn't been a test captain anyway,

so not too bad.

There are going to be answers up here you really know -

I'll warn you in advance.

Pakistan is where most of them are.

We'll take a look first at India.

There's only one pointless answer for India and that's Anil Kumble.

Very well done if you said that at home.

For Pakistan, there's a few more.

You could've had Moin Khan, Salim Malik,

Salman Butt, Younis Khan -

you could also have had Mohammad Hafeez,

Mohammad Yousuf, Rameez Raja.

You could've had Rashid Latif.

You could've has had Saeed Anwar - he would've been a pointless answer.

Shoaib Malik, as well, he was a pointless answer.

And South Africa, you'll know a few of these as well.

Those are all the pointless answers.

I hope there's not too many there that were lodged in the back...

We knew loads of those. I know you did.

It's so hard when you've only got 60 seconds, it really is.

Everyone at home's got a bit longer than you.

You played terrifically throughout, so congratulations.

Been great. It's been good fun. Thank you.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye, Gary and Greg.

We've loved having you on the show, thank you for playing.

Brilliant, brilliant contestants - Gary and Greg.

Sadly, Gary and Greg didn't win our jackpot,

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

where we'll be playing for ?2,000.

Join us next time to see if someone wins it.

Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard... Goodbye.

..and goodbye from me - goodbye.

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