Episode 35 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to Pointless,

the quiz show where the aim is to score as few points as you can.

To do that, you need to come up with

the answers no-one else could think of.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Alan. This is my friend, Scott,

and we're from Lanarkshire in Scotland.

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Georgia, I'm from the Wirral,

and this is my flatmate, Laura, from Bury.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Dave and this is Louisa, and we're friends from Oxford.

And couple number four.

I'm David, and this is my friend Ciaran,

and we're from Milton Keynes.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you. We'll find out more about you throughout the show.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

A man so clever, it feels like

he's sailing around your brain in a miniaturised submarine.

And if that sounds like the plot to the 1960s film

Fantastic Voyage, then it definitely isn't.

it's my pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya! APPLAUSE

Hi, everybody!

I think if there's anyone in the world less suited

to being in a miniaturised submarine, it's me.

It is, probably. Yeah!

-I think I'd find that claustrophobic, if I'm honest with you.

-I think you might!

-How are you?

-I'm very well.

That's good. A lovely show last time.

We've given away the jackpot a lot recently, and we very nearly

gave it away last time, didn't we, with lovely Greg and Gary.

We've got two pairs back from that show.

Laura and Georgia, who played very, very well.

I think they're going to do well today.

We've also got Scott and Alan back,

who we need to see a little bit more of, I think. Don't we, gents?

Thanks very much. All our questions on Pointless

have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants need to find

the obscure answers those 100 people didn't get.

Of course, everyone's trying to find a pointless answer,

an answer that none of our 100 people gave,

and each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

So, Gary and Greg didn't win the jackpot last time,

which means we add another £1,000 to that,

so today's jackpot starts off at £2,000.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

OK, in this first round, I'll take an answer from each of you,

but there is to be no conferring between the pairs.

I should say, no conferring WITHIN the pairs.

At the end of the round, whichever pair has the highest score will be heading home.

OK, our first category today

is Geography.

Geography. Can you all decide in

your pairs who's going to go first and second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns

capital cities and their rivers.

Capital cities and their rivers. Richard.

On each pass, we're going to show you the names of seven rivers.

We just need you to tell us the capital city that each river flows through.

There's going to be 14 in all to have a go at, so best of luck.

OK, so we are looking for the capital cities through which

these rivers flow, and here's our first board of seven rivers.

I'll read those one last time.

Now then, Scott and Alan, you all drew lots before the show,

and today, you are going to go first.

Now, remind us what you do, Scott.

I'm a PE teacher by trade, if you like,

but I'm currently working for a qualifications awarding body.

So I'm seconded out, which involves working with schools

and teachers, preparing for new qualifications, basically.

-OK, and how's your geography, do you think?

-Erm...

-This kind of geography.

-This kind of geography...

-I've got to be honest, I'm not sure I know many of those.

-Likewise!

Likewise! I'm going to go for the bottom one.

-The River Seine, I think, is it?

-Mmm-hmm.

I'm going to go for Vienna.

Vienna, for the Seine. OK. Let's see if that's right.

Vienna for the Seine. If it is, let's see how many people said it.

Oh, bad luck, Scott.

Bad luck. I'm afraid not Vienna.

That scores you 100 points. Sorry.

Sorry, Scott. It's the perfect PE teacher's answer, though. So...

-LAUGHTER

-That's it!

Thanks very much, Richard. Laura, welcome back.

-Now, remind us what you do, Laura.

-I am a student.

-You have just finished.

-Yep, just finished.

-And about to go off and work in America?

-Yep, that's right.

-How long's that going to be for?

-Er...

Three-and-a-half months.

-OK.

-So, yeah.

Have you done a lot of travelling in your time, Laura?

Er, a bit, but I don't think I took very much notice of the rivers.

I don't really know any.

The only one I recognise is the bottom one,

and I'm not even sure that the answer I think it is is right,

but I'm going to go with Paris.

OK, Paris, says Laura. Paris, for the Seine.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said Paris.

It is right.

84 for the Seine.

APPLAUSE

Well...

it's 16 better than it looks like everyone else is going to score!

LAUGHTER I have to say, it is a very tough board.

There's a couple on there

that I think lots of people are going to know,

but that is a tough board to start off with.

Now then, Dave, welcome to Point...I'm sorry we're

welcoming you with this, but baptism by fire and all that.

But Dave, what do you do?

I'm a proofreader for a mystery shopping company.

-I...

-Whoa!

-There's two things there!

-Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Very different two things.

OK, proofreader.

Let's deal with the second thing first, the mystery shopping thing.

-That's right.

-What happens there?

Well, I don't actually do the mystery shopping.

You send out your agents!

We have a team of skilled assessors...

I thought you were going to say assassins there!

-LAUGHTER

-But, yeah, OK.

Skilled ASSESSORS, and they wear heavy disguise.

-That's right, moustaches, hats.

-They really do? Genuinely do?

-No, I'm afraid not.

-What a shame.

-Sorry to ruin the myth.

No. And so they go off in a mysterious way, and er...

And it's generally customer service they assess,

and then they fill in reports and I proofread them.

OK, good.

Now, please tell me you've travelled a lot

around Europe's capital cities.

-HE SIGHS

-Not overly.

Like I said, it's a very tough board, I think.

But I do have an answer,

and I'm going to go with the Liffey,

which is Dublin.

Dublin, says Dave, for the Liffey. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Dublin.

Well, 100's our high, 84's our low. You've passed both of those.

Oh, down it goes. 52. Very well done.

APPLAUSE

-52 for The Liffey.

-Well played, Dave.

-That's the two everyone knows out of the way, anyway!

-Yep!

It rises in the Wicklow Mountains, about 20 miles south-west of Dublin.

Thanks very much. Now, David, welcome to the show.

Now, what do you do?

I work in a governance and assurance department in the company

that owns the country's rail network.

-Wow!

-HE LAUGHS

Wow! Them! That lot!

And what do you do there?

I work in the governance and assurance firm,

and it's basically making sure the organisation's running smoothly.

Very good. Do you send mystery people out to test...?

It's very glamorous(!)

No, it's not like the MI5 or anything like that, I'm afraid.

Ooh, you know what that means!

-Yeah, yeah.

-That means he works for MI5.

LAUGHTER I knew it!

Now, if you were a proper spy, you would have to be

terrible at this round, just to put people off the scent.

So, fill your boots.

On that note, I'm going

to pretend that I know absolutely nothing about this.

OK, do you want to take us through the board?

Kifissos sounds Greek, so I would say Athens for that.

Spree, not really an idea on that one, or Vistula or Barada.

-So, with Vantaa, I'm going to guess and say Helsinki.

-Helsinki,

You're going to say it for Vantaa. Helsinki.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

It's only right.

Very good.

Down it goes, way past all our other answers.

One, it scores you, David.

That's a brilliant answer, David. Very well played.

Kifissos, your guess was right there as well. It was Athens.

Would've scored you 21 points. Vantaa was a much better answer.

It is a really difficult board. The Spree. Do you know the Spree?

It's somewhere in Germany, is it?

If it's in Germany... These are all capital cities.

Capitals, right.

-They're all capitals, in which case I'll go for Berlin.

-You're right.

-Would've scored you 13 points. The Vistula.

-Is that...

Oh!

-I don't know, I don't know.

-Warsaw.

That would've scored you four points.

And the Barada is in Damascus.

And Damascus would've scored you two points,

so very well done if you said that.

Actually, Helsinki is the best answer on the board,

even better than Damascus. That was a tricky board.

Anyone that got all seven of those, caps doffed to you.

Thanks very much, Richard. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores.

Not much at the bottom end of the score table, apart from one.

Fantastic score from David there.

Then we go up to 52, where we find Dave and Louisa.

Up to 84, where Laura and Georgia are to be found,

and then not too far ahead of them are Scott and Alan.

I'd say there is still everything to play for, Alan.

Don't give up hope yet.

Let's hope the next board's easier than that one.

We're going to go back down the line now.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK.

We're going to put seven more rivers on the board, and here they are.

We have...

I'll read those all one last time.

Now remember, we are

looking for capital cities through which these rivers flow,

and Ciaran, obviously you need to find the lowest scoring one

you think you know the answer to. What do you do, Ciaran?

I'm a business consultant for a very large technology company.

And how do you and David know each other?

We know each other from college and university,

and we kind of followed each other throughout our life once we met.

-So you've known each other a long, long time.

-That is such a line.

-You know exactly where they know each other from.

-Just play along.

They're a unit, aren't they?

Sure.

One's the front man, the other's the killer. That's the way they do it.

LAUGHTER

Now, Ciaran, if you can score 98 or less,

you're through automatically to the next round.

I feel like being somewhat evil because David's given me

the freedom to do that, so I'm going to say London and Thames.

Oh, nice. Kicking away that ladder there. Yeah, that's...

LAUGHTER

Oh, that sure is nice, Ciaran(!)

Well, there you are, on one.

98 or less is what you have to score. Do you think...

Yeah, I reckon you can just about get away with that.

There's your red line.

If you get below that red line, you're in round two. Let's find out.

London, Thames. Is it right? How many people said it?

It's r... Ooh-ee! Look at that. 95.

Perfectly judged.

Takes your total up to 96.

Ciaran, you're a disgrace.

I kind of admire it, though. I kind of admire it.

-I wouldn't want to be the other three now, would you?

-No. No.

-Yeah.

-Now, Louisa.

-Hi.

-Welcome.

-Thank you.

-What do you do, Louisa?

-I'm an editor for a publishing company.

-In Oxford?

-In Oxford, yeah.

What sort of publishing company?

-It's books I work on, and it's Earth and planetary science.

-Right.

Well, you're on 52.

-If you can score 47 or less, you're definitely in the next round.

-Yeah.

Amstel is a type of beer, and they like beer in Belgium,

so I'm going to say Brussels and Amstel.

You're like Hercule Poirot.

SHE LAUGHS

"They like beer in...

"Hmm. Belgium. So we're going to say Brussels."

Let's see if that works.

OK, Brussels. Is the Amstel in Brussels?

There's your red line.

Bad luck, I'm afraid. It's not in Brussels.

That scores you the maximum of 100 points. That is a lifeline to Alan.

152 is your total, Louisa.

Yeah, you're like Hercule Poirot's brother, Steve Poirot.

-The Zenne flows through Brussels.

-Oh, OK.

-Thanks very much indeed.

-Now, Georgia, welcome back to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Remind us what you do, Georgia.

-I'm a student.

I also recently finished my exams, waiting for graduation.

Just graduated.

-And what did you read again?

-Politics.

-Politics.

Would you be looking for any career in politics,

-or are you now going to run...

-No, I do not want to be a politician.

Run away from politics. OK.

Good stuff. Well, best of luck. You're on 84.

The high scorers are Louisa and Dave on 152,

so 67 or less gets you into the next round.

I know.

There's not really any clues. Vltava sounds Slavic, so...

I can't remember the...

I'm going to go for Vltava and Turin.

-Turin?

-Yeah.

Vltava and Turin. There is your red line.

If you get below it, you are through.

Let's see if Turin in right for Vltava.

No.

Bad luck, Georgia, I'm afraid an incorrect answer scores you

the maximum of 100 points.

Oh, even more of a sigh of relief coming from Alan there.

-184, your total.

-It's going very well, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

Isn't it, though?

Turin is in Italy and it's not the capital either,

and the Vltava doesn't run through it. But what are you going to do?

-What are you going to do? Alan?

-Yes?

Alan, of course you have...

What the others don't realise is,

you spend your time canoeing on the rivers

of the world, particularly the rivers of the capitals of the world.

I think the only river I've been in is River Clyde in Glasgow,

so I was hoping that would come up.

But there was one that I definitely knew, and it's gone.

I don't know if I'm being...

If this is just too straightforward,

but Amstel would be from Amsterdam.

OK, you're going to say Amsterdam for the Amstel.

Let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Amsterdam.

There is your red line.

Get below that, you're in round two.

It's right!

And you're through to round two. Very well done, Alan.

42 for Amsterdam.

142, your total.

Through you go.

-Not our lowest scoring round ever, that one.

-It was not, was it?

But well done. Amstel is well worked out.

Amsterdam's named after the Amstel River, of course.

The dam across the Amstel.

The other one that a lot of people at home, I suspect, will get

is the Tiber, which is Rome.

Would have scored you 38 points.

Now...there's some harder ones here.

The Molonglo is the river that flows through Canberra in Australia.

And it was a pointless answer,

so very, very well done if you said it.

The Rimac flows through the capital of Peru, which is Lima,

would have scored you 2 points.

-The Vltava... Do you know that one?

-Is that Prague?

-It is Prague, yeah.

Would have scored 4 points. And the Han?

It's in South Korea, it flows through Seoul,

would've scored you 3 points. So, Canberra the best answer there.

Oh, hard. Really difficult, that one.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So at the end of our first round,

I'm sorry to say it's Georgia and Laura,

one of our two returning pairs.

That was a really, really tough board.

I'm sorry, but anyway, there we are.

It's been lovely having you on both shows

and I'm sorry we're saying goodbye to you so soon,

but thanks very much for playing, Georgia and Laura.

APPLAUSE

But, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so now we're down to three pairs

and, obviously, at the end of this round

we'll have to say goodbye to another pair.

-Well, Scott and Alan, you made it through.

-Just.

-You did it!

Very well done, the Amstel.

David and Ciaran, you're the lowest-scoring pair,

even with your 95-scorer there, Ciaran, London Thames.

Anyway, best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two is awards. Awards.

Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And, whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many films

which received BAFTA nominations in 2013 as they could.

BAFTA nominated films from 2013, Richard.

We're looking for the name of any full-length feature film

which received a nomination in any category

in the BAFTAs in 2013, please.

So could be Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, Best Film, any of those things.

So any film that received a nomination

in any of those categories. Very, very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Alan.

Alan, are you a film-watcher, a cinema-goer?

Erm, I watch films quite a bit,

-but more sort of older films than the recent stuff.

-OK.

I have watched a few. I think I'll go for Django Unchained.

Django Unchained says Alan. Django Unchained.

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

Good answer, Alan. Look at that, still going down. Look at that! 5.

Well played, Alan.

Well played, Alan, you're on a roll now.

Actually won two BAFTAs as well, won Screenplay for Quentin Tarantino

and Best Supporting Actor, Christoph Waltz.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Louisa,

how are we feeling about this?

-A lot better than the last round.

-Good.

-Definitely a lot better.

-Good.

I'm pretty sure that the award for this one

was for Best Leading Actress

and I think it was Silver Linings Playbook.

Silver Linings Playbook says Louisa. Let's see if that's right,

and, if it is, let's see how many people said Silver Linings Playbook.

Absolutely right.

5, our nice low score at the moment.

Oh, you beat that - down to 1!

-What about that?

-APPLAUSE

1 for Silver Linings Playbook.

-Good answer.

-Well played, Louisa.

Yes, it won a BAFTA for Best Adapted Screenplay

and nominations in Best Leading Actor and Best Leading Actress.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, David.

Well, films is probably one of the, erm...

One of my weaknesses, I would say.

So I'm just going to throw out there and say Avengers Assemble.

Avengers Assemble, says David. Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Avengers Assemble.

It's right.

-And it's pointless! Look at that!

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Very well done indeed, David.

That adds £250 to today's jackpot,

takes the total up to £2,250.

It scores you absolutely nothing. Very well done indeed.

-What a performance.

-Yeah, not bad at all.

-Do you know what it was nominated for?

-Haven't a clue.

It only had one nomination

and that was for special effects, essentially.

But it got nominated.

There we go. Well, thanks very much.

Let's take a look at the scores. We're halfway through the round.

David and Ciaran once again looking very strong indeed

on the back of that fantastic low score there from David.

Up to 1, where we find Louisa and Dave, then up to 5,

where we find Alan and Scott, really very, very close indeed.

Good low scoring all round. But, Scott, you are ahead.

This time the onus is on you to see if you can dig Alan out of that.

Best of luck with that. We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium.

-OK, now, Ciaran...

-Yes.

Ciaran, what about that?

David keeps setting the bar very, very...I'm going to say high -

or low, I'm not quite sure. But anyway,

he's setting it somewhere that's quite hard to follow.

He's making my life easier, but not really in this round

-because everyone else has done pretty well as well.

-Yeah.

-Erm...

I'm going to put something out there which is a bit of a gamble.

I know it had nominations in the Oscars...

I'm hoping they did it for BAFTA as well.

So I'm going to go with Amour.

Amour, says Ciaran.

Amour. Well, here is your red line. Very low.

I wonder if Amour can get you below that red line.

Let's see. Is it right? How many people said it?

It's absolutely right.

-Very well done indeed, Ciaran!

-APPLAUSE

1 for Amour. That's a great answer.

Fabulous low total of 1.

Well played, Ciaran. It was nominated for four BAFTAs and it won two.

It won Best Film Not In The English Language and Best Actress as well.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Dave.

Dave, the scoring has been very, very low so far.

Are you confident that you can stay low?

I have a few answers to choose from,

whether they're low or not, we'll see.

But, yeah, it's been very impressive so far.

-So I'm going to go with Life Of Pi.

-Life Of Pi, says Dave.

Life Of Pi.

Well, you want to be scoring three or less

to avoid becoming the new high scorers.

Let's see if Life Of Pi can do that or you -

there's your red line.

Well, it's right.

15 for Life Of Pi.

APPLAUSE

16, your total.

One of the most nominated of all at the BAFTAs,

nine nominations for Life Of Pi, won two awards.

-That's a great film as well, isn't it?

-Very good. Now, Scott.

-Yes.

-Scott, you now have a target, and it's 10.

You want to score 10 or less.

I've been trying to rack my brains

while the other contestants have been going,

cos I went to see Django and really enjoyed that,

so that was one of the ones, and Life Of Pi, I can remember that,

but...kind of struggling to be honest with you.

I think it was last year,

I don't know if it got nominated this year,

but I need to go for it.

Sorry, Alan.

Bridesmaids.

Bridesmaids, says Scott. Bridesmaids.

Well, you're on five. The high scorers are Dave and Louisa.

You want to score 10 or less with Bridesmaids, there's your red line.

Is it right though? Let's find out.

No! Bad luck, Scott.

I'm afraid, as you probably guessed, that was an incorrect answer,

scores you the maximum of 100 points.

105 your total. Sorry.

Sorry, Scott. You were right, it was the previous year.

It was actually nominated the previous year.

On last year's show, it would have been a terrific answer.

LAUGHTER

Let's take a look at the pointless answers. There's quite a few of them.

All of these films were nominated.

Anna Karenina was nominated.

Brave, the animated film.

Marley, the documentary about Bob Marley.

There's Avengers Assemble.

Moonrise Kingdom, the Wes Anderson film,

would have been a pointless answer.

Another documentary there - Searching for Sugarman.

Snow White and the Huntsman was a pointless answer.

The Dark Knight Rises, also a pointless answer.

And The Master, that was a pointless answer.

A few others you could have had.

Beasts of the Southern Wild,

which was also nominated for a Best Picture Oscar.

You could have had Great Expectations,

Seven Psychopaths, all of those pointless.

Well done if you said any of those.

We'll look at the ones that most of our 100 people said, though.

These are the most well-known.

Lincoln would have scored you 29.

Skyfall would have scored you 36.

And also on 36, Les Miserables.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

At the end of that round, I'm afraid it's Scott and Alan

we have to say goodbye to.

You've done twice as well as you did last time.

It was Round One. I'm afraid it's been Round Two this time.

Did you know some of those, Scott?

-Brave, should have really remembered that one.

-Skyfall!

Skyfall, I thought that would be high,

so I was just going for a gamble with Bridesmaids.

I'm sorry we have to say goodbye to you.

It's been great fun having you on the show.

-Thank you so much for playing.

-Thank you.

-Scott and Alan!

APPLAUSE

But, for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, David and Ciaran, Louisa and Dave.

You are now one step closer to the final and a chance to

play for our jackpot, which currently stands at...

AUDIENCE: Ooh!

We need to decide who will go through to the

final and play for that money, and to do that,

you will now go head-to-head.

The big difference is you can confer before you give your answers.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head!

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

Football Club Badges. Richard.

We'll show you five photos now of English league teams' badges.

We have removed the lettering that tell you the name of the team,

cos we're not idiots.

LAUGHTER

But, can you work out which badges fit which team, please? Good luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five badges and here they are. We have got...

There we are, five football club badges.

Now, David and Ciaran, you have played best throughout the show

so far, so you get to go first.

-WHISPERING:

-A is Southampton.

I think B might be Blackpool,

but I'm fairly certain that

C, Swindon is going to be...

THEY WHISPER INAUDIBLY

I think C is Swindon Town.

C, Swindon Town,

say David and Ciaran.

C, Swindon Town.

Now, Louisa and Dave, the rest of the board is yours.

Do you want to talk us through it?

I've got such a strong feeling that B...

..is Burnley.

And I think we're going to try and compete,

so we're going to go B - Burnley.

B - Burnley.

So, we have C - Swindon Town,

B - Burnley.

Now, David and Ciaran have said that C is Swindon Town.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is,

let's see how many people said Swindon Town.

It's absolutely right.

Down it goes!

Seven, very well done indeed!

That's a very solid score.

But Louisa and Dave have said

Burnley for B. Burnley.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see if it will beat seven.

Bad luck!

Not Burnley, I'm afraid, which means, David and Ciaran,

after one question, you are up 1-0. Very well done.

Yeah, very well played. The clue to B is in the colours.

David and Ciaran, do you know that one?

Barnet?

-Blackpool.

-OK.

Would have scored you one point.

It's easier when you've got the letters.

-LAUGHTER

-I can see now.

Southampton, that would have scored you 20 points.

D is Arsenal.

Would have scored you 78 points.

And E is Leeds United,

would have scored you 32.

Thanks very much indeed. Here comes your second question.

Louisa and Dave, you get to answer this first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game. Best of luck.

It concerns...

Hymns. Richard.

We're going to show you five clues now to facts about hymns.

Can you give us the most obscure answer.

OK, let's reveal our five clues and here they come.

We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Five clues to facts about hymns.

Louisa and Dave, you go first.

-WHISPERING:

-I know three.

-I only know the middle one.

The most obscure one is Abide With Me,

-which is the FA Cup one.

-Is that obscure?

It's the most obscure, because the other one's Amazing Grace

-and the other one is Songs of Praise.

-OK.

I'm going to try and redeem myself with football

and go with the hymn traditionally

sung at the FA Cup final before kick-off as

Abide With Me.

Abide With Me, say Louisa and Dave.

Now, David and Ciaran, can you talk us through

the rest of the board?

Um...

Probably not.

-You think you know the top one, don't you?

-Maybe, yeah.

Go on, put it out there.

The Lord Is Our Shepherd, or something similar, I'm not really...

Number two is...

..Songs of Praise, right?

And number three is...

-Don't know.

-Amazing Grace?

The last one, absolutely no idea.

I think The Vicar of Dibley is probably the best shot?

Go on, then.

What was your answer for that?

What was our answer for that?

The Lord Is Our Shepherd. Is that correct? Yeah. OK, yeah.

-The Lord Is Our Shepherd?

-Yeah.

OK, so, we have Abide With Me

versus the Lord is Our Shepherd.

Louisa and Dave have gone with Abide With Me.

Let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's absolutely right.

Abide With Me takes you down to 32.

APPLAUSE

David and Ciaran, you've gone out on a bit of a limb,

had a bit of a punt here and said The Lord Is Our Shepherd.

The theme tune to The Vicar of Dibley.

Let's see if that's right, if it is, let's see how many people

said The Lord Is Our Shepherd.

Oh, bad luck, bad luck.

But, Louisa and Dave, you have won that question, which means,

after two questions, it's one-all.

Very well done.

Yeah, the right idea, but it's very famously

The Lord Is My Shepherd, I'm afraid.

Sorry about that, guys.

Funnily enough, if you'd said it, would have scored you 17 points,

so would have seen you through, if you'd given us the correct title.

You'd also have got through if you'd said Amazing Grace.

Because it would have scored you 24 points.

The BBC religious programme was Songs of Praise,

would have scored too many points.

Would have scored 71.

And All Creatures Great and Small at the bottom.

Another fairly big scorer with 35.

So, best answer on the board was The Lord Is My Shepherd.

So, very well done if you said that.

Thanks very much. Here comes your third question.

This is the decider. Whoever wins this goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot.

And it concerns...

American Works of Literature. Richard.

We're going to show you the initials now of five plays or novels

and the name of the author next to them.

Can you tell us the name of the play or novel, please? Very best of luck.

OK, let's reveal our five plays or novels, and here they are.

We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Five works of American literature.

David and Ciaran, you go first.

-WHISPERING:

-Do you know any of them?

-No, do you?

-No.

The Golden Goose?

-John Steinbeck is Of Mice and Men.

-What?

We're going to have to fail miserably, I think

and go for the obvious answer

of John Steinbeck, Of Mice and Men.

Of Mice and Men, say David and Ciaran.

Now, Louisa and Dave, the rest of the board is yours.

Do you want to take us through it?

Embarrassingly, given that we're both literature students,

we actually only know three.

I'm a big Stephen King fan,

and it's really annoying me that I can't think what that one is.

-It's got a Z in it!

-I know.

The bottom one's The Great Gatsby.

We think that one will score quite high.

So, we're going to go for

Sylvia Plath, and The Bell Jar.

OK, The Bell Jar, say Louisa and Dave.

So, we have Of Mice and Men versus The Bell Jar.

David and Ciaran, Of Mice and Men.

Let's see how many that scored.

Of Mice and Men, 29.

APPLAUSE

Louisa and Dave have gone with The Bell Jar.

Let's see if that's right,

and how many people said The Bell Jar.

Well, it's right.

Has to beat 29.

Which it does! Very well done.

Seven.

APPLAUSE

Seven for The Bell Jar. Very well done.

Louisa and Dave, after three questions,

you are through to the final, 2-1.

Well played. I think, with an English Literature degree,

you're allowed to just get

the bottom three. The top one is

a pointless answer. It's a play, and it's

A Raisin in the Sun.

Came out in the late '50s.

A pointless answer. Very well done if you said that.

Now, this Stephen King book.

It's The Dead Zone.

Oh, I would have said that!

LAUGHTER

That would have scored you 23 points.

So, The Bell Jar a much better answer.

And, of course, The Great Gatsby

at the bottom there. 32.

Thanks very much. The pair leaving us at the end of

the head-to-head round, David and Ciaran.

Well, it's been a fantastic head-to-head round

and you've done very well in it,

but they weren't really your

strong suits, were they, those ones?

-Not really.

-Afraid not.

-But, still.

The good news is, we'll see you again next time.

We'll look forward to that. But, in the meantime,

thanks very much for playing. Thanks.

APPLAUSE

But, for Louisa and Dave, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Louisa and Dave. You fought off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

So, very well done.

You now have a chance to win our jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at...

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Wow. Well, cast your mind back to Round One

when we had the Amstel running through Belgium.

Right in the middle of Brussels, there.

Did you ever think you were going to end up here?

-No!

-No.

-Even before that, I didn't think we would.

-It's been ups and downs.

-A roller coaster.

What would you like to see come up in this round?

-Music?

-Music.

-TV? Film.

Yeah, that kind of thing.

Well, best of luck. As always, you kick this round off

by choosing a category and you have four options to choose from.

And they are...

-Scottish Pop Culture.

-Do you think? Do you know any?

-Yeah, let's go for that.

-Yeah.

We're going to go with Scottish Pop Culture.

OK. Scottish Pop Culture. Richard.

We're going to give you three quite different categories here.

Hopefully one of these will suit you. We are looking for any winner

of any Edinburgh comedy award.

That's from 1981 up to 2012. It used to be the Perrier Award.

It's been various other things as well.

But anyone who's won that award or the Best Newcomer Award

at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

We're looking for any tracks on Emeli Sande's debut album.

It was the biggest selling album of last year.

Or we are looking for any named cast member in the film Trainspotting.

So any Edinburgh comedy award winner, any tracks on the Emeli Sande

debut album, or any cast member of the film Trainspotting.

Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

As always you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers.

To win the jackpot of £2,250 you just have to find one pointless answer.

The answers you give can come from any of these categories.

It is up to you how you spread them.

It could be all three from one category, one from each,

two from one, one from another. It's entirely up to you.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yes.

OK. Let's put 60 seconds on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

My initial thought is cast of the film of Trainspotting.

-I think it's going to be the best one.

-I think so.

The only songs I know from Emeli Sande's album are going to be

the hits.

-I don't know any of her...

-I don't know that album either.

I don't think we can pull off a comedy award winner either

-so we'll go with that. Who have we got? We've got Robert Carlyle.

-Yeah.

-Ewan McGregor.

-Yeah. I'm just trying to remember who's in it.

I can't believe those might be the only two I can remember.

Just have a minute to think about it.

Do you know who any of the females are who were in it?

I haven't seen it for such a long time.

I think I might gamble.

Just make sure we have another answer and go with an Edinburgh comedy award winner.

Do you think? Do you think we want to go with those two for the Trainspotting,

because they are quite well-known?

I can't think of any. I can think of one.

Ten seconds left.

That went fast. OK, can you think of any Edinburgh comedy award winners?

-No.

-No.

Any comedy person who might have been?

OK, that's your time up. I now need your three answers.

We're going to go with two on the cast of the film Trainspotting.

Those two answers will be the well-known actors Ewan McGregor

and Robert Carlyle.

Ewan McGregor, Robert Carlyle.

And we're going to gamble and go with an Edinburgh

comedy award winner as Tim Vine.

Tim Vine. Tim Vine.

We have Ewan McGregor, Robert Carlyle, Tim Vine.

Of those three which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-I think Tim Vine, easily.

-OK. Tim Vine we'll put last.

Which is your least likely to be pointless?

-Least likely would be Ewan McGregor.

-Ewan McGregor we'll put first.

Let's put those up on the board in that order. Here they are.

-Very best of luck. That was quite a tough board.

-It was.

Your first answer was Ewan McGregor.

If this is correct and is pointless you will leave here with £2,250.

Do you have any plans for what you might do with that, Dave?

Yes.

I'm in a band so I'd quite like to get me

some decent recording equipment with that.

-OK. Louisa?

-I'd use it to go on holiday this year

in the summer.

OK. Ewan McGregor. Let's find out was he one of the cast in Trainspotting.

Yes, of course he was.

That was the first thing this had to be - correct.

The second thing is it has to be pointless.

Oh, 50.

APPLAUSE

It was right. This is good. 50, though. Not a pointless answer.

Your second answer was Robert Carlyle.

Let's find out. Again, if this is pointless it will win you that jackpot.

For £2,250 let's find out

if Robert Carlyle was a cast member of Trainspotting.

Yes, he also was.

Now Ewan McGregor took us down to 50.

Robert Carlyle takes us past that,

past 40, past 30,

still going down into the teens.

12.

This is more like it.

APPLAUSE

I think to be honest you'd have been very surprised

and probably a bit alarmed if either of those turned out to be pointless.

It would all felt very wrong indeed.

-Yes.

-However you have managed to name a comedian.

Who knows if Tim Vine has won any of those

awards at the Edinburgh Festival, but it's a good shot.

So for £2,250, let's find out

if Tim Vine has won any of the Edinburgh comedy awards.

Yes, he has.

So your first answer was Ewan McGregor which took you down to 50.

Your second answer, Robert Carlyle, took you down to 12.

Tim Vine, a complete shot in the dark, takes you down...

Oh, no!

APPLAUSE

One person.

I am so sorry.

At least you didn't have too long to spend that money mentally

before being confounded. I'm really sorry.

One person knew Tim Vine, which is more than any of us did,

to be honest.

But it was a very good guess.

Unfortunately you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless

answer, which means you don't win today's

jackpot of £2,250. That will roll over on to the next show.

But we've really enjoyed having you on the programme. You have been fantastic.

You do get to take home a trophy each

-so very well done.

-Thank you.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Unlucky, guys. I suspect it's one of those days where there's going to be

hundreds of pointless answers at home.

If you know anything about any of these categories you will have

walked this because there are some big names on all of these lists.

Let's take a little look at the Edinburgh award winners.

Frank Skinner would have won you the money.

He won best act. These next three all won best newcomer.

The Brilliant Milton Jones,

the Mighty Boosh,

Tim Minchin.

Cambridge Footlights won it.

Daniel Kitson, David O'Doherty would have been

a pointless answer. Harry Hill would have been a pointless answer.

You could have had Steve Coogan. You could have had Josie Long. Rich Hall.

There's hundreds. Hundreds of pointless answers there.

Let's take a look at the Emeli Sande debut album.

If you know the album you will have got some of these.

Hope, Maybe, My Kind Of Love, which was a single as well,

and Where I Sleep, those were the four pointless answers

from that album.

And every single member of the Trainspotting cast

apart from the big five in there was pointless.

So, Dale Winton, who plays a game show host in the film.

Irvine Welsh, the writer of Trainspotting has a role in the film.

Kevin McKidd, who plays Tommy, who is one of the gang,

and Peter Mullan, the brilliant Peter Mullan. Lots of other people.

Keith Allen was a pointless answer. Shirley Henderson.

All sorts of pointless answers there.

Very well done if you got a pointless answer at home.

Thanks very much indeed.

Unfortunately we have to say goodbye to you, Louisa and Dave.

It's been brilliant having you on the programme.

Thank you both so much for playing. Louisa and Dave.

APPLAUSE

Sadly Louisa and Dave didn't win our jackpot today which means it

rolls over onto the next show when we will be playing for £3,250.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me.

Goodbye.

APPLAUSE