Episode 37 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the quiz show where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Hello, I'm Ray and this is my wife, Daphne.

We're both retired and we live in Whitstable in Kent.

Couple number two.

My name's Ali. This is my friend Alex.

We're housemates at university in Bristol.

Couple number three.

Hi, my name's Dan. This is my father, Richard,

and we're from Market Harborough.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, Alexander. My name's Sarah and I'm from Yeovil in Somerset

and this is my good friend Shirley from Henley-on-Thames.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks, all of you. We'll find out more about you

throughout the show, as it goes along.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

His fitness DVD, Richard Osmond's Mind And Body Work Out,

is currently selling incredibly well

for something I've just made up and definitely doesn't exist.

It's my Pointless friend, here's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Afternoon.

-And to you.

-That's not a bad idea.

No, I was just thinking, that's a great idea.

-Yeah, I might do that.

-Yeah.

I'll play some role in there, maybe. I don't know.

Maybe you could lift me.

I reckon I could bench you.

LAUGHTER No... Come on!

What do you weigh? Like, kind of, 85 kilos?

-Less. 80.

-I could deadlift you.

-Could you?

-Yeah, yeah.

-OK.

-Shall I...?

-Anyway... Not now!

Now I'm going to be thinking about deadlifting you the whole show.

LAUGHTER

Not for the first time.

LAUGHTER

-How are you? You well?

-I'm really very well.

-Excellent.

We've got two pairs coming back from last time.

Daphne and Ray, who did rather well.

They're on podium one, poised to strike.

We have Richard and Dan, who did less well

but I think they're quite good, Richard and Dan.

They were unfortunate to be knocked out

so I think they may surprise us.

OK, thanks very much indeed.

All our questions on Pointless

have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants need to find the obscure answers

those people didn't get.

Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer -

an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, Mary and Jenny didn't win the jackpot last time

so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Now, in this first round, I'll take an answer from each of you

but there is of course to be no conferring.

Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of the round

will be eliminated.

So do what you can to make sure that's not you.

OK, our first category today is...

It's the movies.

Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

'90s film characters. Richard?

On each pass, we're going to give you

the name of seven film characters from films from the 1990s.

We just need you to tell us

the name of the actor who played that character.

There are going to be 14 in all.

-So have a go at home, see how many you can get.

-OK.

So we need the name of the actor or actress

who played these film characters in the 1990s.

And here is our first board.

I'll read those one last time.

Now, Daphne and Ray, you all drew lots before the show

and today, you're going to go first.

-Ray, welcome back to Pointless.

-Thank you.

Remind us what you do, Ray.

I'm retired. I used to work in retail.

And before that, reproduction furniture.

-Now, Ray...

-Yes.

..what about all these characters from '90s films?

Did your heart sink when that board came up

-or are you feeling all right?

-It did. I'm not a film buff.

In fact, I think there's only one there that I might know.

Which would be J in Men In Black -

-Will Smith.

-Will Smith, says Ray, for J in Men In Black.

Let's see if that's right.

And if it is, let's see how many people said Will Smith.

It's right.

Still going down...

34.

-APPLAUSE

-Not a bad score, Ray.

Well played, Ray. Good start from podium one.

They're all good, the Men In Black films.

Thanks very much indeed.

-Now, Ali...

-Hi.

-Welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-You're a student?

-Yes.

-Whereabouts?

-Bristol.

-And what are you studying?

-Studying French.

-Good.

And when you're not studying French, what do you get up to?

Erm...a big sports fan.

Keen on playing sports as well,

although I've just had knee surgery

-so not for a good six or seven months.

-Wow!

What was it, arthroscopy?

-It was an anterior cruciate ligament replacement.

-Wow!

-Or reconstruction, in fact.

-Yo! How did you do that?

-I did it playing five-a-side football.

-I did exactly that.

Had exactly the same op for exactly the same reason.

-It's horrible.

-Ow!

Just to let you know, I never really recovered.

LAUGHTER

Even now.

Anyway, let's think of better things, Ali.

-Let's think of nice films from the

-'90s. Yeah.

So there are two that I'm pretty confident of getting right.

It's just deciding which one will be the lowest.

I'm going to go with Lester Burnham

and I think that was Kevin Spacey.

Kevin Spacey, says Ali.

Lots of nodding from all the other contestants.

"Yes, we knew that! Yes, yes."

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said Kevin Spacey.

It's right.

It's a good score.

Look at that! 14, Ali, very well done.

14 for Kevin Spacey.

Well played, Ali.

Yeah, it was Sam Mendes who directed it.

It was always his first choice but the role was offered to Chevy Chase.

And second offered to Tom Hanks before Kevin Spacey was offered it.

-Dan, welcome back.

-Hello.

-Remind us what you do, Dan.

I'm a sports coach.

I run my own company,

teaching children in primary schools.

-So, very rewarding.

-Very rewarding indeed.

And in the holidays, you set up sports clubs?

-I set up sports clubs, yeah, and things like that.

-Yeah.

So keep them active, try to keep them fit.

Yeah, good. Good stuff - very important.

Now, Dan, what do you make of all these '90s films?

I'm going to go for probably my favourite ever trilogy,

and that's Back To The Future III. Dr Emmett Brown,

which is Christopher Lloyd.

Christopher Lloyd, says Dan, for Dr Emmett Brown.

Let's see that's right

and how many people said Christopher Lloyd.

It's right.

-7!

-APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed.

7 for Christopher Lloyd.

Well played, Dan. That's more like it, isn't it?

Yeah, in that film, he has a kiss with Mary Steenburgen.

It's the only kiss Christopher Lloyd has ever had in his film career.

Nice. Now... Richard, thank you.

-Sarah, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

What do you do?

Well, I'm a part-time registrar

so I hatch, match and dispatch people for a living.

See, that's fun!

-It's very good fun.

-So, on any given Saturday...

-Yes.

-..how many...

-And Sunday.

-And Sundays?

-Yeah.

-How many do you do in a day?

-Oh, it can be up to six.

-Wow!

-Yeah.

-12 happy people you see off?

-Yes...hopefully!

Cor! Anyway, there's that board, that's yours.

-Do you want to take us through it before...

-Oh, my goodness.

-..giving an answer?

-Well, I'm afraid Phantom Menace is beyond me.

I'd like to think I know who Douglas Quaid is

but I think that might be quite a popular answer.

You can say who you think it is

but don't have to give it as your answer.

I would hope it was Arnold Schwarzenegger

but it might be the other one.

I don't know. So I'm not going to go for that one.

So I'm going to go for Harry Stamper and hope that it is Bruce Willis.

-Harry Stamper, Bruce Willis, you say.

-Yes.

-Let's see if that's right.

-Oh, I do hope so.

And if it is, how many people said Bruce Willis for Harry Stamper.

-It's right. Phew!

-Ooh!

41!

-APPLAUSE

-Big score there, for Harry Stamper.

Well played, Sarah. You were right about Arnie as well.

-That would have scored you slightly fewer points, too.

-Oh!

Cos it would have scored you 36.

So not a huge difference but might have been a slightly better answer.

Now, Marla Singer is played by Helena Bonham Carter.

It would have scored you 8 points.

And Qui-Gon Jinn is the best answer on the board, actually.

It's Liam Neeson,

-would have scored you 3 points.

-Thank you very much.

Well, halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

7 the best score of that pass. Very well done, Dan.

That set you and your father up pretty well.

Then up to 14 where we find Ali and Alex.

Up to 34, Ray and Daphne, and then 41, Sarah and Shirley.

You're not miles ahead of the game

but, Shirley, what we will need is a nice low score from you,

so let's hope it's lots of films you know.

Good luck. We're going to come back down the line now.

Second players, step up to the podium.

OK, let's put seven more characters up on the board.

And here they are.

I'll read those one final time.

-There we are. Now, Shirley...

-Yes.

..we're looking for the names of the actors or actresses

who played these roles in the '90s. What do you do, Shirley?

Commercial property. And I do go to the cinema occasionally

but I've never seen any of those, I'm afraid.

-Really?

-And I don't seem to see the same films...

-Did you not see any of those?

-..that Richard sees.

I have such good news for you, Shirley.

-There are some cracking films in there!

-That's useful.

There are a couple you could probably sidestep, usefully.

But I would say, there are three or four fabulous films there.

What a treat!

I think I'm going...

Well, I think I know the top one

but I suspect it will be quite high-scoring.

And as we are the high scorers, I'm going to take a punt, Sarah,

-if you don't mind...

-OK.

-..at Kim Boggs

and guess that might be Johnny Depp.

Kim Boggs, Johnny Depp, you're going to say.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many said it.

You're the high scorers so there's no red line for you.

Let's see how many people said Johnny Depp for Kim Boggs.

-Oh, bad luck, Shirley!

-Sorry.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer

and it takes your total up to 141. Sorry.

Sorry. Johnny Depp IS in that film

-but plays Edward Scissorhands, I'm afraid.

-OK.

Thanks very much. Now then, Richard, you're a retired head teacher?

-Yes.

-Whose idea was it to come on Pointless?

-Mine.

-It was yours. And Dan, the obvious choice?

-He was available.

-LAUGHTER

Well, I tell you what, look what he's done!

I have three more intelligent children than Dan but...

LAUGHTER AND GROANING

-I tell you what, he set you up very well indeed.

-Surely has.

You're actually already through.

Even if you score 100, you're still through to the next round.

But it's nice to know, you've got a bit of a safety net.

So why not take a bit of a punt there?

Erm...

I don't know any of them.

Let's say Jack Nicholson,

Walter Sobchak.

Jack Nicholson, not a...

That wouldn't be terrible casting, actually. I'd enjoy watching that -

Jack Nicholson as Walter Sobchak.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said it.

No red line, as you're already through.

No, bad luck. An incorrect answer scores you 100 points,

takes your total up to 107, but you're already through.

Yeah, sorry, Richard. Worth a punt though.

So Dan is your fourth cleverest child?

What is it like to be the fifth cleverest person in the family?!

LAUGHTER

I...

APPLAUSE

I think it's eighth

cos you've discounted my wife and my two grandchildren.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now, Alex...

-Yes.

Alex, welcome to the show.

-You're also at Bristol?

-I am, yes.

-And what are you studying there?

-I do Spanish and Portuguese so...

-So Ali is just doing French?

-Just French?

-Just French.

-No Spanish? No...?

-You haven't garnished it with any...

-So mine is twice as hard.

-Yeah, twice as many languages.

-Yeah, definitely.

Now, 14's what Ali scored.

Do you think you can do less than that?

I'm not... The thing is, I know two definitely

and two possibly.

But I'm going to say Neo

and that's Keanu Reeves.

Keanu Reeves, you're going to say, for Neo.

No red line, you're already through.

But let's see how many people said Keanu Reeves.

It's right.

-31.

-APPLAUSE

Not bad. Takes your total up to 45.

Well played, Alex. Very tidy.

Very tidily through on podium two, there.

There we are. Now, Daphne, welcome back to Pointless.

I don't remember you having a wrist problem last time.

-Yes, I broke it.

-Oh, you poor thing.

-Yeah, I've got a plate in there now.

-Wow.

But it's your left hand so it doesn't interfere with your bowls?

Well, I haven't been able to play because it's been too painful

but I'm hoping to try on Friday.

-OK, good.

-What if you come back

and the plate suddenly turns you into the world bowls champion?

-Wouldn't that be amazing?

-That would be wonderful.

-Titanium was the only thing you were missing!

-Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Now then, Daphne, do you think you can have a punt

at some of these missing answers on the board?

I think, but I'm not saying it,

that Buzz Lightyear might be Tom Hanks.

I'm going to go for the obvious,

Jack Dawson is

Leonardo DiCaprio, I think.

-Leonardo DiCaprio, says Daphne, for Jack Dawson.

-Yeah.

No red line for you, you're already through to Round Two.

Let's see how many people said Leonardo DiCaprio.

It's right.

-63.

-APPLAUSE

63 and 97 your total.

Very well done.

Very well played, Daphne.

It's damage limitation. Very nicely done.

-Tom Hanks is in Toy Story but he's Woody.

-Oh.

Buzz Lightyear is voiced by the comedian Tim Allen.

Would have scored you 16 points, would have been a very good answer.

Now, the rest of these...

-Xander, I bet you'll be quite good at some of these.

-I think I can...

-I can't think who Kim Boggs is.

-OK, well Walter Sobchak is...

-John Goodman.

-John Goodman, yes.

It would have scored you 1 point, so that's a terrific answer.

Well, Kim Boggs - not Johnny Depp

but a former partner of Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder.

She would have scored you 5 points.

-Stanley Ipkiss...

-Is Jim Carrey?

Jim Carrey, yes. He would have scored you 34. and Frank TJ Mackey?

-Is that Tom Cruise?

-It is Tom Cruise, yeah. Low score, though.

8 points. Not one of his better-known films.

John Goodman, the best answer there. Well done if you said that.

Thanks very much indeed.

At the end of our first round, the pair heading home,

with a high score of 141...

I'm sorry, Shirley and Sarah, it is you.

-Yes, Winona Ryder. That was the one you were looking for.

-Yes,

I might have guessed it was the wrong sex!

Did you know... Well, Kim goes either way, doesn't it?

-Kim could be either.

-Yeah. OK. Well, we'll see you again next time.

We look forward to that very much indeed, Shirley and Sarah.

-Thanks very much for playing.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Well, so, three pairs remain. Now, Dan, very well done to you.

The fourth most intelligent of Richard's children.

You did very well - lowest score of the round. Fantastic.

Alex and Ali, combined lowest score so very well done to you.

Daphne and Ray, pretty good.

But let's see you through to the head-to-head.

-Was it head-to-head last time?

-Yes.

-It was.

-I thought it was.

Yeah, we've got to hope that you make it through at least to the head-to-head.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for around two is...

Athletics. Daphne less than thrilled with that, I think.

OK, can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could.

Men who've run the Olympic 100m in under ten seconds. Richard?

Yeah, we're looking for the name of any man

who has run in an Olympic 100m final under ten seconds, please.

So any of the men who've done that in Olympic history.

-Obviously anyone who was later disqualified won't count.

-Oh, no!

They've been disqualified from this, as well?

-That is unfair.

-Yeah, that's harsh, isn't it?

-Thank you very much indeed.

-It's a pleasure!

-Now, Ray?

The only one I can think of is Usain Bolt.

OK, Usain Bolt.

Well, it's an answer. Let's see if Usain Bolt is right

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

-72.

-APPLAUSE

Could be a lot worse, Ray.

9.69 seconds then 9.63 seconds

to win back-to-back Olympic golds in 2008 and 2012.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now, Ali...

-Yes.

-Ali, this is your kind of question, I think.

-Erm... Yeah.

I'm going to go...

I'm a bit worried he might have pulled his hammy and pulled up lame

but I'm going to go with Asafa Powell.

-Asafa Pow...?

-Powell.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Yeah.

-What did I say?

-I didn't hear the "ll".

-Pow.

-Asafa Powa?

-Just Pow.

-Oh, Afassa Pow!

-Yeah.

-Asafa Powl.

-LAUGHTER

Exactly!

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

Asafa Pow.

It's right.

5! Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE

That's a great answer.

Well played, Ali. Yeah, another Jamaican sprinter.

Came fifth in 2008.

-9.95. Powell, you know, like Colin Powell.

-Yeah.

-Yes! That's what I said!

-And Asafa.

-Powl.

-Pow-ell.

Pow.

Richard!

So we want 100m finalists in under ten seconds.

Erm, I think I'm going to play it fairly safe

cos I'm certainly sure Dan will have a good answer or two up his sleeve.

So I will say Linford Christie.

Linford Christie, says Richard. Linford Christie.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said that.

Well, 72's our high, 5's our low.

You've passed the 72 mark comfortably.

Down you go. 25 for Linford Christie.

APPLAUSE

Well played, Richard. He did it twice.

9.96 to win a gold then 9.97 to win a silver.

Thanks very much. We're halfway through the round, let's look at those scores.

5 - the best score of that pass, Ali.

Very well done indeed.

Then up to 25, where we find Richard and Dan.

Oh, then it's a long way up, I'm afraid, to 72

for Ray and Daphne.

Now, Daphne, I know how thrilled you looked when this round started.

-Ecstatic.

-I know you've got some great answers there.

-We're going to need a low score...

-(You're not going to get one!)

-..if you're to remain with us.

-You're not going to get one!

Best of luck. Start making up a brilliant name now!

Best of luck with that, Daphne. Back down the line, now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

-OK, now, Dan...

-Yes.

So we want the name of any male athlete

who's run the Olympic 100m final in under ten seconds.

I've got a couple in mind.

And I'd imagine they'd be low answers

but I'm going to go for Kim Collins.

Kim Collins, says Dan. Kim Collins.

Here's your red line.

Get below that, you're in the head-to-head.

Oh, Dan!

That is an incorrect answer.

I'm afraid that scores you the maximum of 100 points,

and takes your total up to 125.

It might not be the end of the world, though, Dan.

Certainly not the end of the round, is all I'm saying.

That's really unlucky. I would have thought it was a correct answer.

It's not. He has run under ten seconds

but not in an Olympic final, I'm afraid.

Ooh!

-Alex?

-Well, that just saved me actually.

-Oh, really?

-That was really lucky.

-Really?

That was my answer. Erm...

I've got a fairly random one.

I've got no idea if he did it in an Olympic final.

There's a Trinidadian guy called...Ato Bolden.

-Ato Bolden.

-Yeah.

Listen, even if it's wrong, you're still through

so you're in a good position to take this kind of punt

but it could be a brilliant, brilliant answer.

Let's find out of it is. Ato Bolden.

It's right!

Very well done, Alex.

That is going all the way down!

-I knew it would!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That's a fabulous answer.

Fabulous bit of pointless knowledge, there!

A pointless answer, obviously. It adds £250 to today's jackpot,

takes the total up to...

It scores you nothing. It leaves your total at 5.

That's very impressive indeed, Alex.

Yeah, very, very well done. He did it twice, actually,

in 1996 and then again in 2000.

Won a silver and a bronze.

-Now then, Daphne.

-Mm-hm.

-Daphne...

-Yes.

-You've had a bit of time

to think of some fantastic 100m sprinters.

Well, I'm going to say Carl Lewis

but I'm sure it's wrong and we're going home.

-Sorry, folks. Sorry, dear.

-OK.

Well, you want to score 52 or less.

That's what it looks like, there's your red line.

Let's see if Carl Lewis is right

and if it is, how many of our 100 people said Carl Lewis.

-It's right!

-Oh!

-And you're through!

-CHEERING

Very, very well done indeed, Daphne.

18, that scores you.

takes your total up to 90,

wins you your place in the head-to-head.

Brilliant play.

Safely through, Daphne. He did it twice, as well.

Much better score than Ray, as well.

Before we look at the pointless answers,

I'll give you some of the lowest scorers.

I know some people at home will have done very well on this.

You'd have got 1 point for Frankie Fredericks

and Michael Frater, as well, the Jamaican.

And Donovan Bailey.

All of those good answers some people would have got.

But let's take a look at the pointless answers,

nine of them in all.

There's Ato Bolden. Calvin Smith, who ran 9.99.

Martina, he's done it twice, the Dutch Antilles athlete.

Dennis Mitchell, he ran 9.99 as well.

The Portuguese Francis Obikwelu, he won a silver medal.

Jim Hines, first man to do it at Mexico City in 1968. He ran 9.95.

Richard Thompson, the folk singer,

turned his talents to sprinting, briefly(!)

Shawn Crawford, who ran 9.89 and didn't even win a medal!

That was a tough Olympic final.

And Walter Dix - also a pointless answer.

Well done if you said any of those.

And let's look at the top three.

We've already heard all of them

cos Carl Lewis is actually the third biggest answer of all on 18.

There's Linford, 25, and Usain Bolt miles ahead on 72.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So I'm afraid, Dan and Richard,

it's you leaving us at the end of that round.

Oh, Dan, you were doing the right thing, there! I'm sorry.

You're being penalised for too much knowledge! That's what it is.

I'm really sorry cos you'd have said any of those other ones,

-wouldn't you? They'd have seen you through.

-I had a good few in there, yeah.

-Pretty unfortunate, yeah.

-Oh, I'm really sorry.

Well, we've loved having you on the show.

-Thanks so much for playing, Dan and Richard. Great contestants.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Well, congratulations, Alex and Ali, Ray and Daphne,

you're now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at...

We have to decide who's going to play for that money.

You're now going to go head-to-head.

The big difference is you're now allowed to confer.

You can chat before you give your answers.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Alex and Ali, very well done indeed -

consistent low scorers.

And also, we've had a pointless answer from you.

-We've had Asafa Pow, which was...

-LAUGHTER

..which was a great low score.

And we've had...the other guy, Bolden!

-LAUGHTER

-So very, very well done.

Ray and Daphne, here you are.

Two performances in Pointless, two head-to-heads.

Very, very well done.

Daphne, you've been fantastic.

It's a shame about Ray, to quote...

-Oh, but I love him.

-..to quote The Lemonheads.

Best of luck to both pairs.

This is going to be a very exciting third round.

Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question. And it concerns...

LAUGHTER

-Richard?

-You don't need anything more from me, do you, on that?

-Nope!

-That might be our longest question ever, maybe.

-Let's go ahead.

We're going to show you five pictures of food.

You know what they mean by protected status?

There's certain foods that come from certain places

and the EU say that nobody else can call a foodstuff that.

So champagne's only allowed to come from Champagne, that sort of thing.

We're going to show you five of those from the British Isles.

We need you to fill in the names that you're going to see. Very best of luck.

OK, so let's reveal our five protected foodstuffs.

And here they are.

OK. There we are.

Five foodstuffs with geographical protected status.

Now then, Alex and Ali,

you've played best throughout the show so you get to go first.

-Right.

-Erm...

-I don't know about that.

-All right...

-Shall we go with that?

We'll take a... I've actually got no idea on any of them.

But we'll try for D...

Atlantic salmon?

OK! Atlantic salmon.

Well, from the protected area that's known as the Atlantic,

is that what...? OK.

Right you are. Ray and Daphne, the board is yours.

-It's Whitstable oysters.

-It's Melton Mowbray pork pie.

I know. Well, A is Whitstable oysters.

C is Melton Mowbray pork pies.

D is Arbroath smokies.

-It's not.

-And we don't know the beginning of rhubarb.

-What do you want to go for?

-We'll go for Melton Mowbray pork pies, C.

You're going to go for Melton Mowbray pork pies.

C, Melton Mowbray pies. Now,

Alex and Ali have said Atlantic salmon.

Atlantic salmon for D.

-LAUGHTER

-Let's see if that's right.

And if it is, let's see how many people said Atlantic salmon.

Bad luck.

Ray and Daphne have said Melton Mowbray pork pie for C.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

All it has to be is right for you to win the point.

You win the point.

-83! Wow.

-APPLAUSE

So, after one question, Ray and Daphne are up 1-0.

-Very well done.

-Ray and Daphne, you're from Whitstable.

What do you think Whitstable oysters would have scored?

It's the right answer, of course.

-I think it'd be quite low, actually.

-What do you reckon, Ray?

Out of 100, how many people know that speciality of Whitstable?

I'd... I would say quite high.

Actually, Whitstable oysters would have scored you 9 points.

-9? Oh, crikey!

-9 points. It would have been a very, very good answer.

-Now, B?

-They're Bramleys.

-They're Bramley apples.

-What's the A?

-Where they from?

They're from Armagh.

Yeah, and that's a pointless answer so very well done if you said that.

Armagh Bramley apples.

D is the Arbroath smokie, Daphne, as you said.

That's a smoked haddock. It would have scored you 37.

If that was an Atlantic salmon,

you'd send that back, lads, I think. LAUGHTER

-And E...

-It's forced rhubarb.

-It is forced rhubarb but where do they grow rhubarb?

-Yarmouth.

-I've no idea.

-No, there's a very famous triangle

where they grow most of the rhubarb in the UK.

-It's in Yorkshire.

-Oh.

-It's Yorkshire forced rhubarb.

And that would have scored 12 points.

So Armagh Bramley apple's the best answer there.

OK, here comes your second question.

Alex and Ali, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

Best of luck. It concerns...

The British Museum. Richard?

We're going to give you five clues to facts about the British Museum.

Can you give us the most obscure answer from these five, please?

Thanks very much indeed. OK, let's reveal our five facts.

And here they are.

I'll read all of those again.

Now then, Ray and Daphne, you will answer this one first.

(I only know one, that's the Egyptian king.)

(Yeah.)

Well, we're going to have to go for the Egyptian king,

Tutankhamun.

Tutankhamun, say Ray and Daphne. Tutankhamun.

Now then, Alex and Ali, do you think

you can talk us through the board?

Eh...

-No.

-LAUGHTER

OK, well, we think the last one could be the Rosetta Stone.

-Yeah, that's good.

-And then the top, century,

we would have just made up.

But let's just go for the last one, the stone.

You're going to say the Rosetta Stone?

-The Rosetta Stone.

-So, we have Tutankhamun

and we have the Rosetta Stone.

Let's see if Tutankhamun's right.

And if it is, how many people said it.

Very well done. Oh, look at that!

-Ray and Daphne.

-APPLAUSE

Your grouping is incredible.

You scored 83 last question, you've scored 83 this question.

I wonder if it'll do as well for you.

Now, Alex and Ali have gone for Rosetta, the Rosetta Stone.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said that.

It is of course the Rosetta Stone!

Very well done indeed.

-42.

-APPLAUSE

Well done, Alex and Ali, back in the game.

-After two questions, it's 1-1.

-Well played, gents.

The Rosetta Stone's been at the British Museum since 1802,

apart from two years in the First World War, where they kept it

in one of the tube stations that the postal network use,

50 feet underground Holborn.

Let's fill in the rest of these. The century in which it was established.

-What would you have gone for if you'd had to, guys?

-18th.

You'd have gone for 18th, Ray. You'd have gone for...?

Probably 18th, actually.

Yeah, it's 18th. It was 1753 it was established,

the first national public museum in the world.

21 points, that would have scored.

The principal architect, do you know that one?

2000 was Richard Rogers, wasn't it?

-The other one, Norman Foster.

-Oh, it was Norman Foster.

Would have scored you 5 points.

And the director appointed in 2002

is a gentleman called Neil MacGregor.

And he would have scored you 3 points.

Wow! That's quite niche knowledge, isn't it?

-Or has he done some very famous things?

-Well,

they did The History Of The World In 100 Objects, didn't they?

-And he was very much behind that.

-Ah, yes.

-So he's been in the news and the papers and what have you.

-Yes, good.

OK, here comes your third question.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final and plays for that...

Yeah, it's quite a nice jackpot now.

So best of luck, both pairs. It concerns...

Children's television. Now, Richard?

We're going to show you the names

of five BBC children's television programmes now

but we've got them in anagram form.

Can you unscramble them and give us the best answer?

Best of luck to both teams.

OK, let's reveal our five children's TV programmes.

And here they are. We have got...

I'll read those all again.

There we are, five anagrams of children's shows.

Alex and Ali, you will go first again, this time.

-I know the last one... That's the only one.

-OK,

I think go for it.

OK, I've just got a mind blank

apart from the last one.

The last one is Pingu.

Pingu, say Alex and Ali.

Ray and Daphne, what are you going to go for?

Well, I think we're going to go for the first one,

Horrible Histories.

Horrible Histories.

So we have Pingu and we have Horrible Histories.

Alex and Ali said Pingu. Let's see if that's right.

How many people said Pingu?

It's right.

-47 for Pingu.

-APPLAUSE

Ray and Daphne have gone for Horrible Histories.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

If this goes down past 47...

And it does!

You are through to the final. Very well done indeed.

-Oh, 1!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Fantastic work, Ray and Daphne.

That means after three questions, you're through to the final 2-1.

-Very well done.

-Best answer up there, well played.

Who got that one?

-We both did.

-Very nice.

-Very well done!

-I got one!

-Joint effort.

Let's take a look through the rest of these. Pass bug?

-Bagpuss.

-Bagpuss, yes.

That would have scored 33.

Wonder Sun?

-Erm...

-Anyone in the audience?

-AUDIENCE MEMBER:

-Newsround.

-Oh!

-Newsround, very well played.

-Very good.

That would have scored 4 points.

And alcohol spy was Play School

and that would have scored you 9 points.

So Horrible Histories - the best answer there. Very well played.

Well done to anyone who got all five. I suspect that's a very small group.

Thanks very much indeed.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

it's Alex and Ali. You played so well throughout the show.

And some brilliant answering there!

Rosetta Stone, particularly good.

Atlantic salmon we might just forget about for now but...

Good news is we'll get to see you again next time

and I'm sure you'll do just as well, if not better.

Thanks very much for playing, Alex and Ali. Great contestants.

-APPLAUSE

-It's OK. Good luck.

But for Daphne and Ray, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Ray and Daphne.

You've seen off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

-Many congratulations.

-Thank you.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

And at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well, very well done.

Last time, you made it through to the head-to-head

as our lowest scoring pair.

You weren't our lowest scoring pair this time

and you soared through to the final. Well done. And do you know what?

Our two lowest scoring answers from you on the whole show

were Carl Lewis, Daphne, very well done indeed,

and Horrible Histories.

Who really came up with Horrible Histories?

-BOTH: It was a joint effort.

-Well done, well done!

-It was.

-A proper team effort so very, very well done.

What would you like to see come up in this last round?

Anything we can answer.

Brilliant. I think that's one of the options so let's hope.

As always, you kick this round off by choosing your category

and there are four options for you to choose from. And they are...

-I know '90s football.

-Well, you...

-Or bestselling albums.

-No, not bestselling albums, I wouldn't know.

-'90s football?

-Yeah, go on. Go with that. I don't know.

-'90s football,

-I think.

-'90s football, OK.

'90s football it is. Richard.

OK, here are your three categories.

Take your answers from any of these three.

The first one and third one are similar, the second one is a bit of a curveball.

We're looking for any team

that played in an FA Cup semifinal in the 1990s.

We're looking for any...

So any player named in that squad.

Or any...

So...

Very, very best of luck.

As always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers.

To win that jackpot of £4,500,

all you need to do is find just one pointless answer.

Now remember, the answers you provide

can come from any of these three categories.

All three from one category, one from each...entirely up to you.

Are you ready?

-I think so.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the board.

There they are. Your time starts now.

FA Cup semifinalists.

Erm...

We'll go for the obvious ones - Arsenal.

-West Brom, I think.

-Right.

1990s...

Arsenal, West Brom,

I think Newcastle were there.

West Ham.

Right, shall we go for West Bram... West Brom, West Ham.

I'm trying to think of another one. Sheffield?

Sheffield...Sheffield United, I think might have got there.

Right.

Apart from that, I'm struggling.

-Right, Sheffield United...

-Yeah.

-..West Brom...

-Yeah.

-Ten seconds left.

And Arsenal.

-I can't think of anything else.

-You say it.

-No, I think that's about...

-Right.

-OK, you think you've thought of your three?

-Yeah.

OK, that's your time up. Let's have your answers.

-What are they?

-From the...

-Cup.

-..cup semifinalists of the '90s,

-Arsenal...

-Arsenal.

-..West Bromwich Albion...

-West Bromwich Albion.

And what was the other one we said?

-Sheffield United.

-Oh, Sheffield United.

And Sheffield United. Now, of those three,

which is your best shot at a pointless answer, do you think?

Well, if it's right, it'd be Sheffield United.

-Sheffield United we'll put last. Least likely? Arsenal?

-Arsenal.

-Yeah, Arsenal.

-OK, Arsenal we'll put up first.

And West Brom in the middle.

OK, let's put those up on the board in that order.

And here they are. We have got...

Well, very, very best of luck. Your first answer was Arsenal.

If this is right and it is pointless,

you will leave here with £4,500.

Ray, what would you have planned for that kind of a win?

Well, the first thing we would do

is book a flight to New Zealand.

It's my brother's golden wedding in March

and we'd love to go there and surprise him.

-Good stuff.

-I've seen him four times in 50 years.

-Wow.

-Oh, well, that would be lovely.

-That would be a surprise.

Daphne, anything else you'd got your eye on?

-I would like a new lounge suite.

-LAUGHTER

Now, Ray, if you ask me, that doesn't depend on a win either.

-That was a...

-No.

Consider that a Christmas list.

-OK. Very, very best of luck.

-Thank you.

Your first answer, Arsenal.

For £4,500, let's find out

if they were FA Cup semifinalists in the '90s.

Yes, they were.

Now, if Arsenal takes us all the way down to 0,

you will leave here one trip to New Zealand...

-Oh.

-APPLAUSE

45.

I think we'd all have been quite surprised

-if that'd been pointless.

-Yeah.

But we now move onto slightly more pointless territory, here.

That's no slight against West Bromwich Albion, you understand!

But we're now getting to the more rarefied end

of the pointless column, there.

Your second answer, West Brom.

Let's find out.

If it's correct and it's pointless, it wins you that jackpot of £4,500.

So let's find out -

West Bromwich Albion, were they FA Cup semifinalists in the '90s?

No, bad luck!

Bad luck. They weren't.

Which means everything is now riding

on your third and final answer, Sheffield United.

But you were pretty confident this was your best shot

at a pointless answer. So if this is right,

it could be very exciting indeed.

So for £4,500, let's find out

if Sheffield United were ever FA Cup semifinalists in the 1990s.

Oh, yes, they were!

You doubted it there for a moment, Daphne.

Your first answer, Arsenal, took you down to 45.

Your second answer, West Brom, was incorrect.

Your third and final, Sheffield United,

is taking you down...

-Yes, you have done it!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Very, very well done indeed!

That is brilliant! Well done, that's superb.

-Thank you.

-Very well done indeed.

Thank you!

Very, very well done indeed.

Congratulations.

Sheffield United was a pointless answer,

which means you leave here with £4,500 in your back pockets.

The suite is yours, the trip to New Zealand, let's hope.

-Yes!

-Oh, all these things can be planned.

That's very exciting indeed. Very well done indeed.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Wonderful, wonderful performance.

Oh, that's great.

-You're absolutely crying!

-Isn't that lovely?

Isn't that lovely?

Very, very well played, Ray and Daphne.

We will miss you. I wish you could come back every show,

-you've been such a pleasure to be on here.

-Thank you.

Sheffield United fans won't like reminding

-but they lost to Sheffield Wednesday in the 1993 FA Cup semifinal.

-Oh!

Let's take a look at some of the other pointless answers

cos people at home will be playing along.

You could have had Crystal Palace, Middlesbrough, or Sunderland.

Luton Town was the only other pointless answer, there.

I know football fans, so I know you'll be seeing Chesterfield.

That would have scored you 1 point, Chesterfield.

Let's take a look at some of the Arsenal players.

Emmanuel Petit, Freddie Ljungberg would have been a pointless answer.

Luis Boa Morte,

Stuart Taylor, the goalkeeper.

You could also have had another goalie, Alex Manninger.

You could have had Gilles Grimandi.

You could have had John Lukic, another goalkeeper.

You could have Kanu, Luhzny...

You could have had Stefan Malz or Sylvinho.

All of those were pointless answers. Well done if you said any of those.

And there's only three pointless answers

for the Scottish semifinalists.

But Sheffield United wins the money. So delighted.

Thank you so much for playing,

-it's been an absolute pleasure.

-Thank you. Thank you very much.

Wonderful. Are you going to keep this a secret from your brother?

-BOTH: Oh, yes.

-Oh, fantastic!

-Yeah.

Good stuff. Well, many, many congratulations.

Thanks once again to our wonderful winning players, Ray and Daphne,

-who go away with today's jackpot of £4,500.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

Join us next time,

when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-It's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye!

APPLAUSE