Episode 38 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong

and a warm welcome to Pointless, the quiz show where obvious answers

mean nothing and obscure answers mean everything.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Hello, I'm Paul. This is my friend, Sarah,

-we're from Stevenage in Hertfordshire.

-Couple number two?

I'm Tony, this is Bread. We're brothers-in-law from Mansfield in Nottinghamshire.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Alex, this is Ali, and we are students from Bristol.

And finally, couple number four.

Hello, I'm Shirley from Henley-on-Thames

and this is my friend, Sarah, who lives in Somerset.

We also met at university a couple of years before Ali and Alex.

LAUGHTER

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks, all of you. We'll find out more about you throughout the show

which leaves one more person for me to introduce.

The most heavily tattooed co-host in TV history,

just don't ask him to show you where they are.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody. APPLAUSE

-Good afternoon.

-And to you.

-I don't wish to alarm you...

-Oh, yeah?

-..but I spotted something.

-We've got the contestant called Bread.

-Oh, yeah, I know.

-Have you noticed that?

-Is he really called Bread, or...?

-I don't know. Or is it a nickname or...?

We don't normally allow nicknames so perhaps he really is called Bread.

Let's just go on as normal as if nothing's happened.

-Like it's a normal show?

-Yeah.

-Then we'll get to the Bread bit?

-Yeah.

-Good idea...

-What a great show we've got lined up today!

-Yeah.

-It'll be terrific.

Alex and Ali are back. They were very, very strong last time.

-Very.

-Got through to the head-to-head.

Did ever so well as well.

Shirley and Sarah, we saw less of, but again, I suspect you just had

a difficult question so we might see more of you today as well.

Didn't we have a lovely end to the last show with Ray and Daphne?

-Ray was in tears, it was lovely.

-Yeah.

-They won the jackpot, and they played so well throughout as well, didn't they?

-Yeah.

So it was absolutely lovely.

But, yeah, should be a cracker today. (Don't forget Bread!)

Won't forget Bread. Thanks very much, Richard.

All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants here need to find the obscure answers those 100 people didn't get.

Everyone's trying to find a Pointless answer, an answer none of our 100 people gave,

and each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Daphne and Ray won the jackpot last time such today's jackpot

starts off back at £1,000.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, in this first round, I'll take an answer from each of you

but there is, of course, to be no conferring between you.

Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of the round will be heading home.

Our first category is

Famous People. Famous People.

Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Famous Scots. Famous Scots, Richard.

On each pass, we'll give you descriptions of seven famous Scottish people,

you just have to tell us who they are, please. There'll be 14 in all to have a go at at home,

see how many you can get.

Thanks very much. So we're looking for the names of these famous Scots.

Here are clues to their identities. Our first board of seven reads like this.

I'll read those all one last time.

Now, Sarah and Paul, you all drew lots before the show

-and today you're going to go first. Sarah M, welcome.

-Yes, hello.

-Good to have you here.

-Thank you.

-From Stevenage.

-Yes.

-What do you do, Sarah?

-I work part-time, I've got two jobs,

-so I work in accounts and I'm also a cycling instructor.

-Wow.

-So accounts for...

-Accounts for a large multinational company.

-Oh, I see, right.

-Accounts department.

-And for fun on the side?

It's paid as well, I work for the county council as a cycling instructor.

-We go into schools and train, like cycling proficiency.

-With cones? Yeah.

-And roads as well, not just cones in playgrounds.

-Fantastic, OK. Good stuff.

-And what do you do in your... assuming there's a bit of spare time somewhere?

-Oh, yes.

-Horse riding's my big hobby, love horse riding.

-Good, OK.

Now, what about these Scots?

Yes, I definitely know a couple but I'm going to...

Somewhere in the back of my mind, the bottom answer, I have a feeling it might be William Wallace.

William Wallace, says Sarah. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said William Wallace.

It's absolutely right.

-47.

-That's OK, isn't it?

-APPLAUSE

47 for William Wallace.

Famously portrayed by Mel Gibson in the film, Braveheart.

-They say he was six foot seven, William Wallace.

-That is very tall.

-That's very tall. Freakishly tall. Wouldn't want to be that tall.

-Whoa, that's tall!

That's judging by the size of his sword.

That's what they say. Big feet, big sword.

LAUGHTER

-Yep.

-Thanks very much, Richard. Now, Bread, welcome to Pointless.

Bread, what do you do?

I'm a manager in the drinks dispensing industry.

And what do you do in your spare time, Bread?

I like to follow the England cricket team throughout the world

-as part of the Barmy Army.

-Right, good. That takes up quite a bit of time.

-It does, yeah.

-How often do you go away on tour with them?

-Probably twice a year at least, if I can.

-Oh, really, you do? You are that dedicated?

Yes, I do as much as I can, really. Two or three weeks at a time.

OK, now, Bread, what are you going to go for?

I know a couple there, but it's not my strongest subject.

I think I'll go for the

"sang 'I Dreamed A Dream' on Britain's Got Talent"

and Susan Boyle.

SuBo, says Bread, let's see if that's right,

Susan Boyle for 'I Dreamed A Dream', let's see how many people said that.

Well, it's right.

47 was William Wallace. 64, Susan Boyle.

APPLAUSE

-Yes, she's worth about £22 million now, Susan Boyle.

-Amazing.

Huge selling debut album.

-Are you going to ask Bread where he got his name from?

-We'll come to that.

-I thought I wouldn't come straight at it.

-That's a really good idea.

-Don't want to put him on edge.

In case he goes nuts. Yeah.

Alex, welcome back. Remind us what you do, Alex.

We're both students at Bristol.

I do Spanish and Portuguese, and Ali does French.

-You're coming to the end of your second year?

-Yeah.

-Your third year, you have Argentina, Brazil.

-Travels, yeah.

-OK, good.

Alex, what are you going to do with these famous Scots?

I've just got a mind-blank so I will go for the obvious one

-which is the celebrity chef, Gordon Ramsay.

-Gordon Ramsay, says Alex.

OK, well, Susan Boyle's been our highest scorer so far on 64.

Let's see how Gordon Ramsay does.

It's right.

Well done, not the highest score.

Not even the second-highest score, lowest score so far, Alex.

APPLAUSE

-Surprisingly low score, isn't it, for Gordon Ramsay?

-Yeah.

He got in trouble recently in America, someone asked for

the red mullet and he brought it out. They said, "I'd like some ketchup."

The restaurant said, "We don't have ketchup here."

He said, "Go out and buy some."

And Gordon Ramsay came out of the kitchen and threw him out of the restaurant.

-Wow.

-Yeah.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now then, Shirley.

-Yes, hello.

-Welcome back.

-Thank you.

-What happened last time, Shirley?

Well, I'm afraid I got Winona Ryder muddled up with Johnny Depp.

-It's easily done!

-It is very easily done, they look very similar.

LAUGHTER

But here we are in Round One again. This time, much, much easier.

Much, much easier.

-Are you happy with this as a question, generally?

-Well, um...

I don't know the top two, I'm afraid.

I think the steam engine inventor is James Watt

and I think the Chariots Of Fire runner as Eric Liddell.

Because of my experience last time, I'll probably play safe

and go for James Watt, I think.

-You're going to go for James Watt?

-Yes.

OK, let's find out how many of our 100 people said James Watt for JW.

Well done, 36 is our lowest score so far.

You pass it, 35. Well done, Shirley.

APPLAUSE

On course to avoid last time's Round One sending off.

Well played, Shirley. You could've seen yourself safe and sound

-if you'd said Eric Liddell, much better answer.

-Yes, I'm sure it was

but I was just not 100% sure of the surname.

-It's right, and would've scored eight points.

-Oh!

-Ooh!

-Terrific answer.

-Sorry, Sarah.

Both of his parents were missionaries and after the Olympics, he went out to be a missionary as well, to China.

-The top one is...do you know that? Sheena Easton.

-No!

-Yep. Sheena Easton...

-Then went on to sing with Prince.

-..would've scored you 16. She did indeed.

And the philosopher? Is David Hume.

-Would've scored three points, that's the best answer up there.

-Thanks very much.

Halfway through the round, let's look at the scores.

-Shirley, well done, much more like it.

-Thank you.

35, the lowest score of that pass so, Shirley and Sarah,

I think can feel confident at this stage.

Then up to 36 where we find Alex and Ali, very well done.

Up to 47, Sarah M and Paul and then up to 64, Bread and Tony.

You're not masses out in front but you are out in front. So, Tony,

we need a nice, low score. Best of luck, we'll come back down the line,

Can the second players, please, step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more clues up on the board to Famous Scots

and here they are.

All read those all one last time.

There we are, seven clues to seven Scots. Sarah H, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Remind us what you do, Sarah.

I marry people for a living, amongst other things, yes.

You marry, you're a registrar?

-I'm a registrar.

-Which is a lovely job.

-Yes.

And in your spare time, Sarah?

I love gardening, travelling. France, particularly.

Good stuff. What will you go for? You've got first dibs of this board.

Yes. I could really impress Shirley's husband

and go for the football one but I'm not,

I'm going to go for the scientific one.

I'm going to try Alexander Fleming for the discoverer of penicillin.

Alexander Fleming. OK, well, you're on 35, you're the lowest scorers.

The high scorers are on 64. If you can score 28 or less,

you'll avoid becoming the new high scorers. Let's see if you can.

Alexander Fleming - how many people said it, is it right?

There's your red line.

Well, it's absolutely right.

Down you come...ooh! Almost through the red line.

29, you score, I think that's good enough.

APPLAUSE

64 is your total, that should see you through to the next round.

He used to work as a clerk in a shipping office

and then he got a small legacy that allowed him to study medicine

at St Mary's and then before you know it,

he won the Nobel Prize for Physiology and Medicine.

-On these tiny little things, lives can change, can't they?

-Mm.

-Ali.

-Yes.

-Just remind us what you do, you're also at Bristol?

-Yes.

-Do you study...

-I study French.

-OK.

And I will be spending the next year in Paris.

In Paris. Have you got a job sorted?

Er...I don't want to jinx it, but it's a phone call away.

OK, now then, Ali. What about this board of Scots?

I think the one which, in my eyes, is most obvious

is the one I'm going to choose which is former Liverpool FC player

-and manager, Kenny or Kenneth Dalglish.

-Kenny of Kenneth Dalglish,

says Ali, just in case Kenny wasn't accepted!

LAUGHTER

There is your red line, get below that, you're comfortably through

to the next round. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Kenny Dalglish.

It's absolutely right, of course.

-63, it scores, 99, your total.

-APPLAUSE

-I think that should see you through.

-That's a pretty big score.

It will be very interesting on those last two podiums. An absolute legend, Kenny Dalglish.

Kenneth Dalglish as I call him.

But on his very first game for Celtic,

one of his team-mates said to him, "Are you nervous?" He said, "No, why?"

And then looked down, he realised he'd put his boots on the wrong feet.

-Now then, Tony. That ain't Bread.

-That's Tony.

SMATTERING OF LAUGHTER

There we are. Two people enjoyed that, thank you!

Tony, welcome to the show. What do you do, Tony?

I work at...I'm a warehouse supervisor.

-I work for a large DIY chain.

-Any forklift...antics?

-Not so much forklifts.

-OK.

-A lot of hiding in boxes.

-OK!

-I'm so pleased to know that about...

-You would hope so, wouldn't you?

..about this famous warehouse DIY outlet.

Tony, what do you do in your spare time?

I play cricket with Craig...with Bread, sorry.

-Ooh!

-Ooh, OK!

-Time-out. AUDIENCE: Oooh!

-We just got a massive clue there.

-Yeah.

-I think Bread isn't his real name.

-That's a little chink in the armour, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-He's called Craig.

-Yeah.

-I might start calling you Craig.

See how you like that.

LAUGHTER

OK, Tony, what are you going to go for? Famous Scots.

You are currently on 64, you were the high scorers at half-time.

I do know a couple on there, but I think they'll all be high-scoring.

I think I'm going to go with the lead singer of rock group Travis.

-I think it's Fran Healy.

-Fran Healy, says Tony, Fran Healy.

Here comes your red line. Get below that with Fran Healy,

you're in Round Two.

Let's see if it's right and how many people said Fran Healy.

It's right.

And you're in Round Two, very well done indeed, 16 for Fran Healy.

APPLAUSE

80 is your total. Nice, round total there.

That's a very good answer, the brilliant Fran Healy.

Lives in Berlin now.

Ali was talking to Bread earlier, he kept calling him "Brioche".

LAUGHTER

-Interesting.

-Yeah.

-Interesting. Now, Paul. Welcome.

From Stevenage, what do you do, Paul?

I work as a warehouseman in a small company in Letchworth

which is just north of Stevenage.

-Any box antics?

-Of course, that's the good thing about working in a warehouse.

-And in your spare time, Paul?

-I'm a keen cyclist.

I'm a member of the Cyclists' Touring Club

and there are weekly organised events.

A few times a year, there's longer organised events.

OK, there is a board of Scots and there are still four unanswered.

Do you think you could talk us through them?

Well, there's one I've got no idea about, which is the businesswoman.

I think I know the other three.

The one I would go for, the pointless answer would be

the host of the TV series Changing Rooms, is Carol Smillie.

Carol Smillie, says Paul for CS.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

Now then, Ali and Alex, watching this one very closely indeed.

They're currently on 99 which is represented by this mark here.

You get below that red line, Paul, you are through to the next round.

Carol Smillie, how many people said it, is it right?

It is right...

..and you're through.

Through you go. 25, Carol Smillie, takes your total up to 72.

APPLAUSE

Very well played, Paul. Yes, Carol Smillie.

Lots of lovely people on this list. She's one of them, 25 points.

-Let's look through the rest. The Formula One World Drivers' champion was...

-Jackie Stewart.

Yes, would've scored 45 points. The co-presenter on breakfast time TV show Daybreak...

-Is Lorraine Kelly.

-Lovely Lorraine Kelly, she would've scored 46 points.

-And do you know the businesswoman?

-No.

You often see on The Apprentice and various other things,

it's Michelle Mone and would've scored you seven points,

-so it's the best answer up there.

-Thanks very much indeed.

At the end of our first round, I can't believe this, Ali and Alex...

I mean, you were the champions last time.

Every single round, you barely scored a thing.

HE SIGHS

-I'm really sorry we have to say goodbye, it's been brilliant.

-BOTH:

-Thank you.

It seems far too soon.

-Anyway, Ali and Alex, thanks so much. Best of luck in your finals.

-Thanks, mate.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Well, three pairs remain. You've seen off one of our returning pairs.

Our other returning pair, Shirley and Sarah,

left in Round One last time so welcome to Round Two,

all three pairs. I think this will be very close. Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two

is English Football.

SHIRLEY AND SARAH CHUCKLE

English Football.

Can you all decide in your pairs who'll go first and second?

And whoever's going first, please, step up to the podium.

Let's find out what the question is, here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many footballers

who have captained England five or more times.

Footballers who've captained England five or more times. Richard.

We're looking for the name of any man who has started a game as England captain five or more times

since the end of World War II, please.

So anyone who's captained England five or more times, that's to February 2013.

-Very, very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

-So, Sarah M, we come to you first.

-It's not going to be a low score, but...

-OK.

-..I can give you an answer.

Well, have a think about it, don't rush into it.

-I'm sure there'll be quite a lot of names you know.

-Not really, no.

I wouldn't go that far. But I have got a name. Can I say Gary Lineker?

OK, Gary Lineker, says Sarah. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, how many of our 100 people said Gary Lineker.

It's right.

-Wow, 20.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

20 for Gary Lineker.

-Captain 18 times, very good answer, Sarah.

-Thanks much indeed.

-Now, Tony.

-Yeah, I've got quite a few.

I'm trying to think of an obscure one. Erm...

I'm going to go - Peter Shilton, a good goalkeeper.

Peter Shilton, says Tony. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said that, Peter Shilton.

Very well done indeed, Tony. Six.

APPLAUSE

-Six for Peter Shilton.

-Captained England 15 times,

he's also England's most ever capped player, 125.

He's also the player who's played the most competitive football matches of anyone in history.

1,390, beating Pele into second place, funnily enough.

Wow, I have just been statistic-ed!

-Yeah.

-Cor! That's good, though.

-Yes.

-Good.

-He's played a lot of football.

-Yeah.

Now then, Shirley.

Any footballer who's captained England five times or more.

Erm...I'm going to take a risk again. Sorry, Sarah!

I'm going to say somebody called David Platt.

David Platt, says Shirley, somebody called David Platt.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many of our 100 people said David Platt.

-It's right.

-Shirley!

-Oh, goodness!

-Very well done, Shirley. Look at that.

-Fantastic!

-Down it goes, the best score so far, Shirley.

-Yay!

APPLAUSE

Woo!

ALEXANDER CHUCKLES

Very well done indeed.

That's a terrific answer, Shirley. Very, very well done.

-Captained England 19 times, David Platt.

-Thanks very much indeed. Let's look at the scores.

We're halfway through the round. Two for you, Shirley.

Brilliant, very well-deserved. Good thinking, good memory

and a little bit of luck, so well done, two.

Then up to six where we find Tony and Bread,

then up to 20, Sarah and Paul. So, Paul,

whatever happens, it's between you and Sarah. We need a low score from you.

Best of luck. We'll come back down the line.

Can the second players, please, step up to the podium?

-OK, Sarah. How brilliant was that from Shirley?

-Amazing.

-Fabulous.

-Yes, it's just about to be wiped out completely!

-Now then, Sarah.

-Yes.

-You need to score 17 or less...

-I do, no pressure!

..to avoid becoming the new high scorers.

-OK. I'm going to go back in time just a little bit.

-This is good.

I'm going to go for...

-Bobby Moore.

-Bobby Moore, says Sarah. Bobby Moore.

Now, there is your red line. Bobby Moore, all well and good.

It has to get below that red line. Let's see if it will.

Let's see how many people said Bobby Moore.

50 for Bobby Moore, takes your total up to 52.

-All is not lost though, Sarah.

-APPLAUSE

Yeah, 90 times, he captained England, Bobby Moore.

Of course, most famously in the 1966 World Cup final as well,

-which has stuck in people's memory, I think.

-Mm, as it would.

Bread. So come on, then, Craig.

ALEXANDER SIGHS

-Why Bread?

-It's as simple as my brother got called Meatloaf once

and I got Bread as the younger version,

and it's stuck for the last 15, 16 years.

Is bread a younger version of meatloaf? I had no idea.

That's what it starts as and it grows into meatloaf?

-Surely meatball is a smaller version of meatloaf.

-Yeah!

-Meatslice.

-It was a random one on a night out, that's where it came from.

-Ah, right.

I've come to win some dough anyway, so...

And Bread... That's good, OK.

-Well, you have to "prove" it first.

-AUDIENCE GROANS

"Prove" yourself, sorry. Oh, dear!

-Hopefully, I can "rise" to the occasion.

-This is just superb, yeah!

We don't need any more of these, guys.

OK, now, we want the name of any footballer

who's captained England five times or more.

I know quite a few, but I think I might play it a little bit safe

and go for Frank Lampard.

Frank Lampard says Bread, Frank Lampard.

There's your red line, let's see if you can get below that red line,

and secure your place in the head-to-head.

Ooh, Bread!

Oh, that ain't Bread, but also that ain't toast either, I'm afraid.

I'm afraid that ain't Bread, you're toast, I'm afraid, is probably nearer the mark.

Actually, maybe not, I don't know. It all hangs in Paul's hands.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer, Frank Lampard,

scores you the maximum of 100 points, takes your total up to 106.

I'm sorry, Bread/Meatball,

he's only captained England four times, Frank Lampard.

AUDIENCE GROANS

And Frank Lampard Senior, who's also played for England,

never captained England.

Now, Paul. Paul, how is your football?

Er, not too bad, yeah, should be OK with this.

OK. Talk us through your answers if you'd like.

You need to score 85 or less.

Right, I was trying to think of obscure ones,

but now I'm going to play a bit more safer.

I would say a recent one, Steven Gerrard.

Steven Gerrard, says Paul. Here comes your red line.

If you get below that, you're in our head-to-head.

How many of our 100 people said Steven Gerrard?

It's right, and you're through. Very well done.

28.

APPLAUSE

Takes your total up to 48.

Very well played, Paul. Safely through.

Let's look at the pointless answers.

Very well done if you said any of these.

George Hardwick, who was England captain in the 1940s,

captained every game that he played in.

Gerry Francis would've been a pointless answer,

the wonderful Jimmy Armfield as well.

Paul Ince, the Guv'nor, he would have been a pointless answer for you.

Phil Thompson, the Liverpool player,

now a pundit, would've been pointless.

And Blackburn's Ronnie Clayton. Well done if you said Ronnie Clayton.

Him and George Hardwick, probably the best of the pointless answers there.

Let's take a look at the most common answers,

the ones that most of our 100 people said when we asked them online.

John Terry would have scored you 39 points.

Bobby Moore there with 50, and, right at the top,

as you might have expected, David Beckham on 61.

Thanks very much indeed.

So, at the end of our second round, Bread and Tony, I'm sorry to say...

I mean, surely the hot favourites in that round to go through.

Yeah, I could name five to ten, probably,

and I went for the wrong one.

Well, he was only one armband off it, though, for heaven's sake.

We have to say goodbye, but the good news is we'll get to see you again next time.

We'll look forward to that.

Thanks very much for playing meanwhile.

APPLAUSE

But, for the remaining two pairs, it's time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations Shirley and Sarah, Sarah and Paul.

You are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at £1,000.

We need to decide who's going to play for that money

and, to do that, you're going to go head-to-head.

The difference is you're now allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions will play for the money.

Best of luck to both players. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...

Bones. Richard?

We're going to show you five pictures of a skeleton

with arrows pointing to a bone or group of bones.

We need the scientific or medical name for that bone

or group of bones, please. Good luck.

OK, yes, let's reveal our five groups of bones, and here they are.

We have got...

There we are. Five bones. Now, Shirley and Sarah,

you've played best throughout the show so far so you get to go first.

Fibula or scapular... Nickname for C, shoulder?

-Shall we go...

-I'm not sure it is the shoulder,

I think it's collarbone.

I know we need to give the medical terms,

so I think we should go for the one I know, and that's D, coccyx.

Would like to go for D, coccyx, please.

D, coccyx, say Shirley and Sarah H. D, coccyx.

Now, Sarah M and Paul, can you talk us through that board of bones?

Got an idea... I think A is either tibia or fibula, I'm not sure.

B might be sternum. C, scapular.

D, coccyx, I think's right,

and radius and ulna I think are your bones in your arm,

but I don't know which is which, so I think I have to go B, sternum.

B, sternum, say Sarah M and Paul.

Sternum. Shirley and Sarah H said coccyx. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said coccyx.

It's right.

Ooh, it's quite a high score, 70.

Sarah M and Paul have gone for sternum. Let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many people said that.

It's right,

and it wins the point. Very well done. 49.

Good work, Sarah M and Paul. You've broken their serve.

After one question, it's 1-0.

Well played, Sarah M, there.

Yes, A, those bones are the tibia and fibula but that one is the tibia,

and would have scored you 14 points.

C is the collarbone, which is the clavicle.

That would have scored 29. Not the scapula.

And E, again that's the radius and the ulna in the lower arm,

and that one is the radius. That would have scored you 8 points.

So, very well done if you got that at home.

Thank you very much indeed. OK, here comes your second question.

Shirley and Sarah H, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

Good luck. It concerns...

Beatrix Potter books. Richard.

We'll show you the title of five Beatrix Potter books.

We've left out last word of each title. Can you fill them in, please?

OK, let's reveal our five Beatrix Potter titles with missing words.

Here they are.

I'll read those one last time.

Sarah M and Paul, you go first this time.

I don't know whether to gamble or go for it,

-cos it's Squirrel Nutkin, Peter Rabbit's definitely right.

-Yeah.

Or do we gamble... It's either Ginger & Tom, or Timmy.

We think the right answers, we're not sure of a couple of them,

but we think it's The Tale Of Ginger & Tom.

The Tale Of Ginger & Tom, say Sarah M and Paul.

Ginger & Tom. Shirley and Sarah H, do you want to talk us through

-the rest of the board?

-I would love to. The only one I think we know

other than the one we're going to give you

is The Tale Of Peter Rabbit, but we think...

-That's not the one we'll give you.

-No, we won't give you that one.

With like to go for the top one, please, The Tale Of Squirrel Nutkin.

Squirrel Nutkin. So we have Ginger & Tom, and Squirrel Nutkin.

Sarah M and Paul said Ginger & Tom.

Let's see if that's right, and how many people said it.

No, bad luck, not Ginger & Tom.

Which means Shirley and Sarah H,

Squirrel Nutkin merely has to be correct and you're back in the game.

It is correct, very well done.

Down it goes to 54.

APPLAUSE

You've broken back.

So, there we are, after two questions it's 1-1.

Yeah, not Ginger & Tom.

Ginger is a tom cat, and opens a shop with a terrier called Pickles.

That would've scored you five points, the best answer on the board.

The tale of Peter Rabbit is a very big scorer,

would have scored you 94 points.

-It's the Tale Of Pigling...

-Bland.

-..Bland, yes.

Would have scored you 20.

And the one at the bottom is about a squirrel

who is accused of stealing nuts. That squirrel is called Timmy...

-Timmy Tiptoes.

-It is Timmy Tiptoes, yeah.

The Tale Of Timmy Tiptoes, would've scored you 10 points.

Very well done if you got all of those.

Thank you very much indeed. OK, here comes your third question.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot. It concerns...

Sylvester Stallone.

Now, Shirley and Sarah H, you will go first this time.

What better way to decide things than with five clues

to facts about Sylvester Stallone?

Whoever gives us the most obscure answer will play for the jackpot.

-Good luck.

-OK, let's reveal our five facts, and here they are.

I'll read those one last time.

Shirley and Sarah H.

I know...

I know what his name was in the Rocky film, shall we go for that?

THEY WHISPER

We're going to go for a dead cert and hope that...

Sorry, Sarah and Paul.

Rocky Balboa as his name in the six feature films.

Rocky Balboa, say Shirley and Sarah H. Sarah M and Paul?

Erm... Bottom two I have no idea about.

US state I would guess at New York,

so I wouldn't go for that one cos it's a guess.

First name of his mother I think was Jackie.

So I'll go with that one, his mother's name was Jackie Stallone.

OK, you're going to go with Jackie Stallone.

So we have Rocky Balboa and we have Jackie Stallone.

Shirley and Sarah H said Rocky Balboa.

Let's see if that's right, and how many of our 100 people said Rocky Balboa.

It's right.

48.

48. Sarah M and Paul have gone for Jackie Stallone.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is how many people said Jackie Stallone.

It's right.

If it beats 48...

And it does! You are through to the final.

32 for Jackie Stallone.

APPLAUSE

Which means, Sarah M and Paul,

after three questions, you're through to the final 2-1.

Yeah, famously appeared on Celebrity Big Brother, Jackie Stallone.

Made quite an impact. 32 points.

The US state, your guess was correct, it is New York.

Would have scored you 9 points.

The 1989 buddy cop movie, do you know that one?

You'll recognise the name, it's Tango & Cash.

Would have scored you 11.

And the reality TV boxing show he produced was called The Contender,

that's the best answer on the board, 6 points.

Thanks very much indeed. So, the pair leaving us

at the end of the head-to-head round is Shirley and Sarah.

But what a great performance throughout the show.

I'm afraid we have to say goodbye, it's the end of the road.

But it's been great having you on the show. Thank you so much for playing, Shirley and Sarah.

APPLAUSE

But, for Sarah and Paul, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Well, congratulations, Sarah and Paul.

You fought off all the competition

and you have won our extremely coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show it stands at £1,000.

There we are. Well, you've done brilliantly.

It's your first performance on Pointless,

and you've come straight through to the final.

You see, it just goes to show, proper, solid performance

and it reaps this kind of dividend. Very well done.

What would you like to see come up in this last round?

Music could be good. Sport would be good.

-Sarah?

-More geography, history, the arts for me.

-OK, good.

Well, you're covering several bases between you. Best of luck.

Now, as always, you kick this round off by choosing a category

and you have four options to choose from. They are...

-I'd say Winston Churchill or Madrid.

-I'd say Winston Churchill.

-Yeah.

-Winston Churchill.

-Winston Churchill it is. OK, Richard.

OK, here's your three choices within that. Choose from any of these.

We are looking for the name of any constituency that Winston Churchill ever represented.

We need the name at the time he was elected, please.

We're looking for any Cabinet post he held during his career.

And we are looking for any Prime Minister

during Winston Churchill's lifetime.

So, any of his Parliamentary constituencies,

any Cabinet post he held during his career,

or any UK Prime Minister during Winston Churchill's lifetime.

-Very, very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

You've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that jackpot of £1,000 is for just one of those

to be pointless. Now, remember,

the answers you give can come from any of these categories.

It's up to you how you spread them across those categories.

They can all come from the same category, one from each, up to you.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-Top one's out, cos I wouldn't know any of those.

-Yeah.

-I know a few of the Cabinet posts.

-Such as? Is it a good one to go for?

I think that's the best one we should go for.

-He was obviously Prime Minister...

-We won't accept Prime Minister, guys.

-He was Home Secretary.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Chancellor of the Exchequer.

-Was he?

He was Admiral of the Fleet just before the,

-as the Second World War broke out.

-Is that a Cabinet post?

-I think that's a Cabinet post.

-OK, that's good.

We've still got 30 seconds.

How about prime ministers during his lifetime? Have you got any?

-When was he born?

-Clement Attlee, Anthony Eden...

Alec Douglas-Home.

Erm...Harold Macmillan.

I don't think any of those are pointless enough.

OK, so, Cabinet posts.

You could go for one Prime Minister and two Cabinet posts.

-I'm not been much help here, am I?

-Ten seconds left.

-One Prime Minister and two Cabinet posts.

-You think that's best?

-I think that's the best one, yeah.

-Yeah, I'd go for Prime Minister.

-Alec Douglas-Home as Prime Minister?

-Hume or Home?

-OK.

That's your time up. I now need your three answers.

What are you going to give me?

The Prime Minister I will go for is Alec Douglas-Home...

-Alec Douglas-Home.

-..who was Prime Minister in 1963.

Cabinet post I would go for would be Chancellor of the Exchequer...

-Chancellor of the Exchequer.

-..and Admiral of the Fleet.

And Admiral of the Fleet. Of those three answers,

which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

Most likely would be Admiral of the Fleet.

Admiral of the Fleet we'll put last. Which is your least likely?

-Er, Chancellor of the Exchequer.

-Chancellor of the Exchequer we'll put first.

Let's put those answers up on the board in that order.

Here they are. We have got...

Your first answer was Chancellor of the Exchequer.

Now, if this is pointless, you will win today's jackpot.

I mean, it is back at its beginning, its starter level, £1,000.

Still, it's quite a nice thing to walk away with.

What would you do with that, Sarah?

I've always wanted to learn carriage driving, actually,

-I'd have some horse and carriage...

-Well, you ride.

-Yes.

I've always wanted to book some lessons and do that.

Oh, good, a good thing to do. Paul, how about you?

-I think a new bike, I think.

-A new bike. Good stuff.

Well, best of luck. Three answers on the board there.

Let's hope one of those will win that jackpot for you.

Your first answer was Chancellor of the Exchequer.

Let's find out, for £1,000, if it is pointless.

Let's find out if it is a Cabinet position that Winston Churchill held.

It's right.

Well, it's your first answer,

the one you thought was probably least likely to be pointless,

but if it goes all the way down to zero you leave here with £1,000.

It's taking us down...to 20. Not bad.

Not bad.

Not pointless, though, I'm afraid,

which means only two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your second answer was Alec Douglas-Home.

Again, if it's pointless it will win you that jackpot.

So, for £1,000, let's find out, was Alec Douglas-Home

a Prime Minister during Winston Churchill's lifetime?

Yes, he was.

Well, your first answer of Chancellor of the Exchequer

took us down to 20.

Your second answer, Alec Douglas-Home, passes the 20 mark,

down into single figures, taking us down...

Oh, 3! Very well done.

APPLAUSE

This is all moving in a very, very pleasing direction.

We've come down from 20 to 3.

There is now one answer left on the board,

your third and final answer, which was Admiral of the Fleet.

You thought this was your best shot at a pointless answer.

For £1,000, let's find out,

did Churchill ever hold the Cabinet post of Admiral of the Fleet?

Oh, bad luck.

APPLAUSE

Well, two very good answers there on the board,

the second particularly good, Alec Douglas-Home there.

But you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer,

which means you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000.

That will rollover on to the next show,

but we've enjoyed having you on the programme. Thank you for playing.

You do, of course, get a Pointless trophy, so there you are.

Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, Admiral of the Fleet not a Cabinet post, I'm afraid,

and Churchill never was Admiral of the Fleet.

He was the First Lord of the Admiralty, which was a Cabinet post.

Would've scored 6 points,

so wouldn't have been a pointless answer if you'd said it.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers in the categories.

Quite a tough one, this one.

The Parliamentary constituencies,

he represented five different Parliamentary constituencies,

two that would have scored you points, Woodford and Oldham,

but the other three were all pointless.

Very well done if you said any of those.

The Cabinet posts he held,

he was the Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster,

he was Colonial Secretary, don't have that any more.

He was the President of the Board of Trade,

and Secretary of State for Air,

which sounds weird, but you sort of know what they mean.

And the prime ministers during his lifetime,

you could've had Arthur Balfour,

you could've had the Earl of Rosebery,

or you could've had Henry Campbell-Bannerman as well.

I'm sure some people would have got some of those.

I hope nothing there is throwing up too many signals for you.

OK, well, we have to say goodbye to you, Sarah and Paul.

It's been great having you on the show, thank you so much for playing.

APPLAUSE

Sadly, Sarah and Paul didn't win our jackpot today, which means it

rolls over onto the next show, when we will be playing for £2,000.

Join us next time, see if someone can win it.

-It's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.