Episode 40 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless -

the quiz show where we are always striving

to find the most obscure answers. Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, my name is Patrick. This is my friend Ciaran.

We're school friends who now both live in London.

Couple number two.

Hello, my name's Ben. This is my friend Sally. We're from Norwich.

-Couple number three.

-Hi, my name's Alix, this is my mum Abi.

We're both from Salisbury.

Finally, couple number four.

Hi, my name's Ben, this is my housemate Steve.

We're both students from the University of Sheffield.

These are today's contestants.

Thanks. We'll find out more about you throughout the show as it

goes along. That just leaves one more person for me to introduce -

a voodoo priest ready to sacrifice our contestants here

at the altar of ineptitude.

-It's my Pointless friend. It's Richard.

-Hiya.

Hi, everybody.

CHEERING

That is essentially what's going to happen, isn't it?

Yeah, essentially.

A slight format change from the show you may have seen.

-How are you this afternoon?

-I'm really well.

Now, the last show Mike and Sarah, they were terrific.

We've got a couple of pairs back from that show. They'll tell you that.

They were very good.

Then in the jackpot round, there were a couple of subjects they knew about.

They went for something that neither of them knew anything about at all.

-No, that does happen, though.

-It was peculiar, wasn't it?

-You have a molecular physicist.

-Molecular physics will come up.

Yeah, yeah. They go for rom coms.

LAUGHTER

It's funny. There it is.

Patrick and Ciaran played very well in that last game.

They're going to be tough to beat this time round.

Alix and Abi we didn't see enough of.

They were knocked out in that first round.

Thanks very much. All our questions on Pointless

have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants need to find the obscure answers

those 100 people didn't get.

Of course, everyone's trying to get a pointless answer,

an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Mike and Sarah didn't win the jackpot last time,

so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at...

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, in this first round, obviously I want an answer from each of you.

But there is to be no conferring.

Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of the round

will be eliminated. Do what you can to make sure that's not you.

Our first category today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name...

European countries with a coastline, Richard.

We are looking for the name of any country that's either wholly or

partly in Europe that has a coastline on any ocean or sea, please.

As always, by country we mean a sovereign state

that is a member of the UN in its own right.

I will say we won't accept a country which only has

a coastline on the Caspian Sea.

We're looking for any European country which has a coastline.

Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

Patrick and Ciaran, you all drew lots before the show

and today you are going to go first.

Patrick, last time, tell us what happened.

We got to the head-to-head

and unfortunately it was 2-1 to the other team.

-It was very close, though.

-It was, yeah.

Very hard-fought that one.

Forests was what saw you off in the end.

Yeah, not our speciality subject.

Epping Forest was yours, I think, wasn't it? Yeah.

Remind us what you do, Patrick.

I'm a data analyst for the Department of Health.

OK. How's your European geography, do you think?

It's not too bad. I've got a shower curtain of the map of the world...

LAUGHTER

-..so I like my countries.

-That's good.

Very good.

LAUGHTER

That's actually not a bad idea.

I'm just thinking we could do a pointless shower curtain.

-It's a really good idea.

-Not a bad idea... With holes in it.

LAUGHTER

Tell me more.

-Well, so it's pointless.

-Oh, I see what you mean.

I'm thinking of a Pointless shower curtain, where when you pull it

-with you, it's fully drawn...

-Yeah?

-..you've got lots of facts there.

-Map of the world.

-Yeah.

-Periodic table.

-African nations, obviously.

-FA Cup winners.

Yeah. It'd be quite useful.

Also, anybody who ever came on Pointless

and didn't know anything, you'd just go, "Oh, you need a shower."

Anyway, Patrick, what are you going to go for from your shower curtain?

I'm going to go for Croatia.

-Are you sure that's a country and not some mildew?

-I'm pretty sure.

I hope.

OK. Croatia, says Patrick.

Let's see if that's right and if it is

how many of our 100 people said Croatia.

Well, it's right.

24.

-24 for Croatia.

-Well played. Great start.

To continue the bathroom theme, a salutation in Croatia is "bog".

If you say "bog", it means hello and goodbye.

Not at the same time.

Thanks, Richard. Sally, welcome to Pointless.

Good to have you here. What do you do, Sally?

I work at the University of East Anglia in Norwich

in the events team.

We organise all the open days and things at the university.

Good, that's fun. What are your hobbies, when you're not...?

I like running, keeping fit.

I love music, listening to music, attempting to sing

and playing the piano.

I've recently started to enjoy cooking,

which has come as a bit of a shocker, but I'm enjoying it.

Very good. Good stuff.

What do you cook? Do you bake cakes?

Yes.

-Oh.

-What do you really make? What's your...?

-I quite enjoy cooking Thai food and Chinese food and curries.

-Excellent.

Yep.

Good, cos it is going to be time for our supper quite soon.

Mmm. Mmm.

Yum.

After this question, you think about what you're going to make us...

Anyway, what are you going to go for?

I'm going to say Cyprus.

Cyprus, says Sally. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Cyprus.

10. Very well done.

Good answer, Sally. 10 for Cyprus.

Yeah, very good answer, Sally. Well played.

Won their first ever Olympic medal in 2012, Cyprus. Laser sailing.

They also uncovered the world's oldest ever pet cat.

They found someone buried with their cat from 9,000 years ago.

First domesticated cat they've ever discovered.

Now then, Alix.

Alix, yes, last time, tell us what happened.

We went out in the first round, unfortunately.

We didn't disgrace ourselves, but we just weren't good enough.

-Alix, remind us what you do.

-I'm a student at the moment,

studying my A levels.

What do you like getting up to in your spare time?

A mix of things.

I do like to get involved in things in the village as well.

I do panto each year.

OK, what about these European countries with coastlines?

Well, geography isn't my strongest category. I'm thinking of two.

I don't know which one to go for.

I think I'm going to go for Iceland.

Iceland.

OK, Iceland, says Alix. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Iceland.

It's right.

Well, 24's our high and 10 our low.

You've past 24. 18, there we are.

18.

Well played, Alix. Fewer people live in Iceland than live in Croydon.

Isn't that amazing?

On so many levels, that's extraordinary.

Now then, Ben H. What do you do, Ben?

-I'm a medical student in Sheffield.

-In Sheffield. What year are you in?

We're in our fifth year of six.

Wow. Then at the end of that you go off and do what?

What are you going to be?

So I ideally want to be a paediatrician,

-so I want to work in a children's hospital.

-Right you are.

What are your hobbies, Ben?

At the moment, I'm big into cycling. I should thank my parents for that,

-they've really got me into it for the past few months.

-I will.

Thank you very much, Mr and Mrs H.

Really, are they keen cyclists or did

they just want to get you out the house?

Probably a combination of both.

OK, now what are going to go for?

We are looking at a pretty low range of scores so far.

Croatia, strangely enough, our highest score.

I'm actually going to go for a country which myself and Steve

visited at the end of our first year at university with a group of lads.

I'm going to go for Bulgaria.

Bulgaria, says Ben. Bulgaria. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It is right.

Well, 24 our high, 10 our low. Bulgaria passes 24. 19.

Well played, Ben.

Good series of answers across all four podiums there.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Let's have a look at those scores. We're halfway through the round.

The lowest score was yours, Sally. Very well done.

10 points to you. Then up to 18 when we find Alix and Abi.

That's more like it. Up to 19, where we find Ben H and Steve.

Then up to 24. Nothing wrong with Croatia.

I don't know why everyone suddenly thought of it. They did.

You are the high scorers.

Ciaran, we need a low score from you. Best of luck.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

-OK. Now, Steve.

-Hi.

Remember we're looking for European countries with coastlines.

-Steve, what do you do?

-I'm a med student like Ben.

Same year, fifth out of six.

Are you going to go into paediatrics do you think?

-I'm having a good time on anaesthetics at the moment.

-Oh, yes!

I quite fancy myself as a bit of an anaesthetist.

LAUGHTER

-What are your hobbies, Steve?

-I'm big into music.

Singing, playing guitar, playing piano. Anything.

They're not very big into syntax, are they?

-No, people tend to be big into stuff these days.

-I guess they do.

Yeah. Adverbs...not so much.

Which is the music you're biggest into?

LAUGHTER

-I'm really into...

-It's largest into.

LAUGHTER

Which?

I'm MOST into...

I've got an a cappella group. We've done quite a lot of gigs now.

That's fun. What sort of music's that?

We do some croonery kind of things.

We do a bit of Can't Take My Eyes Off You...

Which part are you? Do you do the...?

# Dum-be-do-do... #

-No, I sing the really high bits, actually.

-Do you?

Yeah.

OK, listen, you're on 19.

The high scorers are Ciaran and Patrick on 24.

If you wanted to avoid becoming the new high scorers,

4 is what you would want to score.

We're looking for any European country with a coastline.

Erm, I'm probably going to go for... I'm big on... I like Formula 1.

LAUGHTER

I'm a fan of Formula 1.

For that reason, I will go for the place

which hosts my favourite Grand Prix, which is in Monaco.

Monaco, says Steve. Monaco. Here's your red line. It's very low.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Monaco.

It's right.

Oh, very well done indeed. Look at that.

8, best score so far, Steve.

Well played, Steve.

You can walk across the entire country in 45 minutes.

-They're big into walking over there as well.

-They are.

Now then, Abi.

You're on 18.

The high scorers obviously now are Steve and Ben on 27.

8 or less is your target.

Whose idea was it to come on Pointless?

Well, it was a bit of both, really, wasn't it?

Just sort of sat there watching it

-and thought, "Let's go for it."

-You thought, "Oh, we could do this!"

-Absolutely.

-Yeah.

Are you pretty good at home? Do you get lots of pointless answers?

At home we're fantastic. It's here that it's all gone to pot.

-I know, it's tough. It's much harder here.

-A lot harder.

-Yeah.

However, not this one. This is a good round.

This is a great round for you.

OK, so I'm going to take a bit of a punt and I'm going to say Malta.

Malta, says Abi. Here's your red line again. It's a low one.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Malta.

Well, 24 is our highest score so far and 8 our lowest.

14. Pretty much in the middle.

32 is your total. I think that will see you through to the next round.

There's some good scoring from everybody here.

It's very well played. The Maltese language is interesting.

It sounds like Arabic,

but it's written as a Western language and read left to right.

Thank you, Richard.

Ben B, Ben B.

Ben B, how are you?

Good to have you here. From Norwich.

What do you do, Ben?

I work for Broadland District Council as a town planner.

What department of town planning? Are you in the...?

Well, it's sometimes hard to make it sound exciting,

but I deal with all the large-scale applications, the controversial

ones, and ones that no-one else really wants to deal with.

Ah. Do you get harangued a lot by people?

I wouldn't say that.

I'd say we take on board people's comments

and consider them all carefully.

Then we come to a reasoned decision.

Yeah, OK.

The nice thing is, lots of nice backhanders

from all those developers,

so, you know, it's swings and roundabouts, isn't it?

Ben, what are your hobbies?

Particularly into football.

Play Sunday League football for my local team.

Friends say I do this all the time, but I never miss

an opportunity to say that I'm the captain of the team.

-You're the captain.

-Yes.

-Of the Mad Moose.

-Yes.

-The Mad Moose. OK.

-Remind me again what your role is in the Mad Moose, Ben B.

-It's captain.

Captain. So you're essentially in charge, really.

Yeah, I don't like to make a big deal of it, but, yeah.

There's no-one above you. Not the Mad Moose.

Not really even the manager, to be fair.

No. You are the boss there. OK, what are you going to go for, Ben?

Well, I had a couple of answers that have literally just

-gone in that last round.

-That's right, yeah.

But I think...

I think I'm going to go for Belgium.

OK, Belgium, says Ben. There is your red line.

If you can get below that, you're through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Belgium.

Not bad at all. 31, takes your total up to 41.

That's the biggest score so far of the round,

not what you'd expect from the captain of the Mad Moose, is it?

-Not so much, no. Ciaran.

-Hello.

-Ciaran, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-So, yes, head-to-head last time.

-Yes.

And we discovered last time

you are a children's television writer.

That's right, that's right. And children's books as well.

Children's books as well.

-And you do books about genies and books about dinosaurs.

-I do, yeah.

Is that a sort of open-ended franchise in each?

The genies ones are,

-the dino ones...

-Has died out.

Yeah, exactly. Extinct. I finished those soft of...end of last year.

Do you illustrate them yourself, or do you...?

No, I don't, I have different illustrators for different books.

That's quite fun, so do you audition the illustrators,

-they bring in their...?

-Yeah, you get to see them

and because different illustrators can have different styles,

obviously, some are better for dinosaurs,

because they're prehistoric and clumpy,

whereas genies are light and airy and you want a different style.

-It's nice to have that.

-Good stuff.

Now, how's your European geography?

-It's not bad. I'm a fan of Eurovision.

-OK, this is good.

-Very helpful.

-I know, I'm sorry...

But I know that's technically not always... Anyway.

I'm risking a punt

or playing safe. Erm...

Well, just to help you, 41 is the highest score.

You need to score 16 or less.

I'm tempted to either go to Scandinavia

and do either Finland, Sweden or Norway.

Or I'm tempted to go to Eastern Europe

and maybe do either a Georgia or maybe an Albania and see.

So, erm... Erm...

I'm not sure Georgia has a coastline, but I think it does -

but then I'm not sure whether it's in Europe either.

Erm... So, I'm going to play it safe and go for Finland.

You're going to say Finland.

16, remember, is what you have to score.

Let's find out - Finland, is it right?

If it is, how many people said it. There's your red line.

It is right.

Oh, no! 30.

30 takes your total up to 54.

-I'm sorry, Ciaran.

-I think you knew plenty of answers there

would have seen you safely through. Sweden and Norway wouldn't have done,

but Albania would have scored you 8.

Georgia, it is partly in Europe -

it's partly in Asia as well, but it's partly in Europe -

and it has a coastline on the Black Sea as well,

-and was a pointless answer.

-Oh!

-No.

Fortune favours the brave, you see. That's what I should've done.

Not only that, it was the only pointless answer

on the whole board as well.

It's the only pointless out there, so very, very nearly said it.

Let's take a look at some of the other lower scorers.

Georgia is right at the bottom there, Montenegro would've scored you 2.

Slovenia would've scored you 3,

you'd also have got 3 for Bosnia and Herzegovina.

You'd have got 4 for Lithuania, Ukraine would've scored you 5,

Latvia would've scored you 7.

Romania would've scored you 8, Estonia 9.

So some low scorers out there.

Let's take a look at the biggest three answers,

the ones that most of our 100 people said online.

Italy with 94 - there's some big scorers here.

Spain with 98. We didn't allow the United Kingdom,

so the biggest scorer is...

France, with 99.

Thanks very much indeed.

So, at the end of our first round,

I'm afraid it's Ciaran and Patrick having to leave us

with their score of 54.

It's not a terribly high score,

but, yes, you were just under-scored by everyone else, I'm afraid.

It's been great having you on the show,

I'm sorry we have to say goodbye so soon.

But, Ciaran and Patrick, thanks very much for playing.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so three pairs remain.

And, obviously, at the end of this round,

we will have to say goodbye to another pair.

So we'll have only two for our head-to-head.

Very, very well done, Ben H and Steve, in that last round,

lovely low scores from you. Individually, with Monaco,

and, in fact, together - your joint score was the lowest score.

So, they would appear to be the pair to beat.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two is music.

Music. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

iconic album covers.

-Iconic album covers. Richard.

-Yes, good question, this one.

On each pass we're going to show you six descriptions of album covers

and the name of the band that released them.

You need to tell us the name of the album, please.

It'll be 12 in all to have a go at at home,

some easy ones and some tough ones as well, so good luck.

OK, thanks very much.

So we are looking for the titles of these albums.

And here are their descriptions. Six on our first board.

I'll read those all again.

There we are. Six iconic album covers.

Beautifully described by our question-setters.

Sally.

-Sally.

-Yeah.

-This is fun, this is good.

-We haven't had a round like this before.

-Yeah, this is fun. OK. Um...

I think I know that the top one

is Nirvana, Nevermind.

Nevermind, says Sally. Nevermind. Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many people said Nevermind.

It's right. Well done.

21. Good score.

APPLAUSE

-That'll do.

-Well played, Sally.

Yep, one of the most influential albums of all time,

Nevermind by Nirvana.

Thanks, Richard. Alix.

Oh, see, I can picture the front of so many of these albums,

-but just really don't know the names of them.

-Yeah.

I'm going to have to guess,

because I know the track Knights Of Cydonia is on the Muse album,

so I'm going to really hope

that the album is also called Knights Of Cydonia.

Knights Of Cydonia, says Alix, for the Muse album.

Let's see if that's right, Knights Of Cydonia,

and, if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Oh, bad luck, Alix, I'm afraid.

Brave effort, but I'm afraid an incorrect answer

scores you the maximum of 100 points. I'm sorry.

Sorry, Alix. I'm sure a lot of people at home are in the same boat.

You can see them in the mind,

it's just the names of some of these are quite tough.

Now then, Ben H.

-Yeah.

-You are the last person to have this board.

Do you fancy taking us through it and filling in all the blanks?

Erm...I don't think so!

Erm, I'm in the same boat as Alix,

so I'm probably going to have a stab at the Michael Jackson.

I'll go for Bad, Michael Jackson.

Bad, says Ben H. Bad. Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many people said Bad.

No! Bad luck, Ben.

I'm afraid that scores you the maximum of 100 points,

it's an incorrect answer.

Really hard, actually.

Well, you say that, but Bad is him in a leather jacket

on a white background, but that bottom one there,

very interesting, it's the biggest-selling album

in the history of recorded music.

So it's the most well-known cover there will ever be,

and it's Thriller.

But it only scores you 20 points. Isn't that amazing?

Isn't that amazing? The amount of people who must have it.

Now, these other ones, the four men seated at a table,

it's Black Holes And Revelations is the name of the album -

would've scored you 2 points.

-The two greyhounds.

-Parklife.

-It's Parklife by Blur. Yes.

13 points for that.

Do you know the Arctic Monkeys one?

It's Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not.

-Yep, good.

-Would've scored you 5 points.

The Public Enemy one also would've scored you 2 points -

It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back.

2 points. So, Muse and Public Enemy best scorers there.

Very well done if you got all of those,

actually quite a tough exercise, isn't it?

It is. Very tough. Thanks very much indeed.

We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

21, Sally - the only correct answer of that last pass,

so very well done. Nice low score to show for it as well.

So, congratulations on that.

Then up to 100, where we find Alix and Abi and Ben H and Steve.

So, Abi and Steve,

it's between the pair of you - who will be staying

and who will be leaving at the end of the round?

Best of luck with that, we're going to come back down the line,

can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more album-cover descriptions on the board.

And here they are...

I'll just read all of those again.

There we are. Six clues

to six iconic album covers.

Steve, we need a really low score from you.

You're joint highest scorers.

I don't know if I know

any of them that would be particularly low,

so I'll have to go for the Pink Floyd album

and I'll go for Dark Side Of The Moon.

Dark Side of the Moon, says Steve, the Pink Floyd album.

No red line, as you're the highest scorers,

but let's see how many of our 100 people said Dark Side Of The Moon.

It's right.

-30.

-APPLAUSE

30, The Dark Side Of The Moon - takes your total up to 130.

And that cover created

by the same person who created the Muse cover, actually,

-Storm Thorgerson.

-Thanks very much indeed.

Now, Abi. You now have a target.

You have to score 29 or less.

That's not going to happen! Erm...

I was going to go for the Pink Floyd one,

that was the only one that I really knew.

So I'm going to have to have a guess,

which would be the Bruce Springsteen one,

which is Born In The USA.

Born In The USA says Abi for Bruce Springsteen.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

There is your red line - below that you're in the head-to-head.

It's right.

And you're through, very well done indeed.

18 for Born In The USA

takes your total up to 118.

Well played, Abi. That photo taken by Annie Leibovitz.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Ben B.

So what are the titles of these albums?

Here are descriptions of their covers - what are they called?

What are you going to go for? Do you fancy taking us through the board,

filling in all the blanks?

I'm not sure I can go through all of them, I can give them a go.

Erm, I think The Clash is London Calling.

I was thinking Blue Monday for Joy Division,

and I'm going to go for Kanye West

and I might even give you the wrong answer,

but I think it's The College Dropout.

The College Dropout, says Ben.

OK, no red line for you, you're already through,

but let's see if The College Dropout is right for Kanye West.

It is. Very well done.

That's a great score, look at that!

A pointless answer. Very well done.

That adds £250 to today's jackpot,

takes the total up to £3,250,

it scores you nothing.

It leaves your total at a brilliant low 21,

very well done, Ben, that's fantastic.

Brilliant answer, Ben. Kanye West's debut album.

Terrific album as well. The other answers here.

The Rolling Stones is actually Sticky Fingers. The original cover

had a working zipper and belt. Would've scored you 9 points.

You're right about The Clash, it was London Calling,

would've scored 6 points, way more than College Dropouts.

And Joy Division, Blue Monday was New Order

but the Joy Division album was Unknown Pleasures,

and that would've scored you 4.

-Two tough boards there, that board particularly tough.

-That was.

Thanks very much. At the end of that round,

I'm afraid it's Steve and Ben H we have to

say goodbye to, but the good news is we'll see you again next time.

We'll look forward to that, but in the meantime, thanks. Steve and Ben.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Sally and Ben, Abi and Alix, we are now

one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for the jackpot which currently stands at £3,250.

WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE

Now, we have to decide who'll go through to the final and

play for that money and to do that, you're now going to go head-to-head,

but you're now allowed to confer before you give your answers

and the first pair to win two questions

will be playing for that jackpot.

Abi and Alix, last time around, Round One.

-Yeah.

-Here you are.

-Bit better this time.

Oh, yes. The dizzy heights of the head-to-head!

How are you feeling? What do you make of Sally and Ben?

-They're lovely.

-We like them.

-Oh, we know they're nice,

we know they're nice, but...

Oh, what, like, their intellect? I've no idea.

-That's...

-Thanks(!)

-LAUGHTER

Anyway, best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...

Blenheim Palace.

Blenheim Palace, Richard.

We'll give you five clues now to facts about Blenheim Palace.

Can you give us the most obscure answer? Very best of luck.

OK, let's reveal our five clues and here they come. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are, five clues to facts about Blenheim Palace.

Sally and Ben, you go first.

-Do you know?

-No. I don't think I know any!

We're really struggling with this, and my wife will kill me

because she'll know all the answers to this

and we've been a couple of times.

The only one I know the answer to, though, is the UK Prime Minister

who was born in the palace, it's Winston Churchill.

Winston Churchill, say Sally and Ben. OK, now. Abi and Alix,

the rest of the board is yours, do you fancy talking us through it?

-Well, no.

-That was the only answer we knew for sure.

We've been there as well, our local cricket team played there

a few times, so we should know some.

-I think we'll go for the county?

-Yeah, but it's just a guess.

It's a bit of a guess and we'll say Surrey.

-Mm.

-Surrey.

-AUDIENCE GROANS QUIETLY

Nah, it's not right! Oh, dear!

-That groan tells me...

-Wow!

-That was extraordinary.

-They didn't like that at all.

-No!

-I think that's... They just don't like Surrey, I think.

-Maybe!

OK, Surrey. So we have Winston Churchill and we have Surrey.

Sally and Ben said Winston Churchill, let's see if it's right

and how many people said Winston Churchill.

It's right.

64.

APPLAUSE

Quite a high score, but then we had Surrey from Abi and Alix.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said Surrey.

No, bad luck. Surrey, I'm afraid, an incorrect answer.

When did your cricket team play there last?

-Ooh! We have played at Blenheim Palace.

-Yeah, a few years ago now.

That's the thing. The problem with sat nav

is you don't know where you're going.

-I was on a coach.

-Yeah.

-Even worse! Well, very well done.

Sally and Ben, after one question, you're up 1-0.

Yes, not in Surrey, it's in Oxfordshire.

In Woodstock in Oxfordshire.

Coincidentally, we've got a coach party from Woodstock in today.

-Have we?

-No, we haven't really. But it just sounded a bit like it.

-It did.

-They didn't like that one bit.

You know you spoiled the jeopardy of that, don't you?

LAUGHTER

Which is our job.

Would've scored you 32 points.

The century in which it was built, it was built in the...

-18th.

-..18th century, well done.

Would've scored you 25. The artist... He came up the other day.

-It's our friend Grinling Gibbons.

-Grinling Gibbons. 5 points for him.

The site of the Battle of Blenheim is in this modern-day country?

Is it Austria, or Germ...?

-Germany, it's Germany.

-Germany.

The fact... It wasn't Austria! Germany, good.

Germany would've scored you one point. Well done if you said that.

Thanks very much indeed. Here comes your second question.

Abi and Alix, you get to answer it first

but you have to win this one to stay in the game.

It concerns...

..TV shows with numbers in their titles.

We're going to show you five images now of TV shows

that had a number in the title.

Just need you to tell us the name of the TV show, please. Good luck.

OK, let's reveal our five TV shows. Here they are.

There you go.

Five TV shows with numbers in their titles.

Abi and Alix, you will go first this time.

(B is Hawaii Five-O.)

(E is 3-2-1.)

OK, well, we know a few of them,

a couple are quite obvious.

We're going to go for A, which I think is 30 Rock.

30 Rock, say Abi and Alix. 30 Rock for A.

Sally and Ben, can you talk us through the rest of the board?

-I think Ben can. Maybe.

-Maybe.

I think that C is Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

I think E is 3-2-1.

I'm not sure about B, maybe Hawaii Five-O,

but I think we'll go for D and Six Feet Under.

You're going to say Six Feet Under for D.

So, we have 30 Rock and Six Feet Under.

Abi and Alix have said 30 Rock. Let's see if that's right for A,

and, if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

Ooh, it's a good answer. Look at that, down it goes.

Still going down. 11.

11 for 30 Rock. Now then, Sally and Ben have said Six Feet Under for D.

Let's see if that's right,

and let's see how many people said Six Feet Under.

It's right.

It's got to beat 11.

It's going to be close. And it does it! Very well done.

5 for Six Feet Under.

Brilliant work, Sally and Ben.

After only two questions, you are through to the final 2-0.

Two very good answers there.

Two very good shows, as well, 30 Rock and Six Feet Under.

I think everyone knew the others.

B is Hawaii Five-O.

Would've scored you too many points, would've scored you 35.

C is Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

That would have scored you 18.

And E, of course, is 3-2-1,

and that would have scored the most of all, perhaps unsurprisingly.

52 points for that.

Thanks very much indeed.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of our head-to-head round,

I'm afraid it's Abi and Alix. You've done so well today.

Really great performance.

30 Rock, a brilliant answer there.

-Oh, Surrey!

-I know.

-Oxfordshire.

-It's not good.

-There we are.

Never mind, though, you have done very well,

a very creditable performance.

Thanks very much for playing, Abi and Alix.

APPLAUSE

But, for Sally and Ben, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Sally and Ben, you fought off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy, so very, very well done.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £3,250.

APPLAUSE

Well, very, very well done.

And we've had a pointless answer from you, so very...

And quite a cool one, as well.

Good stuff. What would you like to see come up in this round, Sally?

Well, I think music is probably the best category for both of us.

-Erm, sport, maybe?

-Yeah, I think we might be all right on sport, maybe.

To be honest, we've been quite lucky with music and TV.

As you know, you kick this round off by choosing your category

and, as always, you have four options. Here they are.

-What do you think?

-Erm... Do you know much about motor sport?

-I know enough, but not enough...

-..for this? OK.

Booker Prize winners?

I wouldn't be great on it but might know...some, if you know a lot?

-I probably only know the obvious ones.

-Er...

-Italy? Have you been?

-I've not been. I'd like to go.

-OK.

-I'd choose Booker Prize winners.

-Let's go for it. Let's go for it.

-Purely cos I know nothing about the other three.

-We'll go for it.

-OK, Booker Prize winners, please.

-Booker Prize winners it is. Richard.

Going to give you three specific questions within that category.

I hope one of these suits you.

We are looking for the name of any novel by J M Coetzee.

We are looking for the name of any novel by Pat Barker,

or we're looking for any novel

by Ian McEwan.

Any novel by any of those

three writers, please.

J M Coetzee, Pat Barker,

Ian McEwan.

Best of luck at home, having a go at this,

and very, very best of luck in the studio.

Thanks very much. As always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers.

To win that jackpot, only one of those answers needs to be pointless.

The answers you give can come from any of these categories,

it's up to you how you spread them.

They can all come from the same one or you can have one from each,

-entirely up to you. Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds

on the clock.

There they are.

Your time starts now.

-Oh, dear.

-I've got nothing.

-I'm sorry!

-OK, brilliant! Erm, I don't know

the first two people.

Ian McEwan, he wrote Atonement,

but I think that'll be quite high.

He wrote another book, there's a hot-air balloon on the front

and it involves a hot-air balloon crash,

but I can't remember what it's called. I'm thinking Burning Love,

but I know that's an Elvis song, and it's not that!

It could be that, you never know.

Er... OK, erm,

another Ian McEwan novel...

-I'm sorry.

-Erm...

-Erm...

Oh, I've got loads at home. Oh...

Anything...anything I can help to stimulate your mind?!

-Remember the name of the one with the hot-air balloon?

-That'd be good!

-Hot-air Balloon Crash?

-It's not called Burning Love.

That's...that's the song we had at the wedding.

We need to think of another one as well, don't we?

Erm... Oh.

-Ten seconds left.

-So, Atonement,

-Burning Love, and...

-Erm...

Sorry, I can't think of anything

-else.

-That's all right.

OK, I'm afraid that's your time up,

I'm really sorry.

I now need three answers from you.

OK, we're going to say Atonement.

Atonement.

Burning Love.

Burning Love.

And... Make up a novel.

OK, erm... Hot-air Balloon Crash.

LAUGHTER

OK, that's what you're going to say?

There we are, OK.

Fingers crossed!

Now then, just so we know which category these are from...?

-Oh, Ian McEwan.

-All three...

-Yes!

-..are Ian McEwan novels?

-Yes, they are!

-This is news, possibly, to some people!

Of those three, Atonement, Burning Love, and Hot-air Balloon Crash...

which do you think is your best shot at a pointless...?

I'd say Atonement, because I think it's the only one that's right.

Let's put that last. Least likely to be pointless, probably?

-Probably Ben's, Hot-air Balloon Crash.

-Hot-air Balloon Crash?

-OK, we'll pop that first.

-Probably.

OK, let's put those up on the board in that order, and here they are.

We've got...

..the first one, Hot-air Balloon Crash,

Burning Love, and Atonement.

THEY SNIGGER

Well, very...good luck!

LAUGHTER

Your first answer was Hot-air Balloon Crash.

What if...what if Ian McEwan did write something

called Hot-air Balloon Crash and you won £3,250?

Or for any of the others, of course.

What would you do with that, Sally?

Erm, I think I'd treat my husband and I to a holiday.

We fancy a trip to New York in the autumn, so it would go towards that.

Very nice indeed. Ben, how about you?

Well, I suppose a number of Ian McEwan books might be an idea.

But, no, I've got a young son and he's five and a half months,

-so...they cos quite a lot of money.

-Lovely.

-Get him a number of toys.

OK, good luck. Three...

I was going to say, "Three good answers on the board."

Three answers on the board!

Your first answer was Hot-air Balloon Crash.

Let's see if that's right, and, if it is...

it'll win you that jackpot.

so, for £3,250, is Hot-air Balloon Crash an Ian McEwan novel?

AUDIENCE GROAN

No. It's not, I'm afraid.

Your second answer was Burning Love.

Let's find out, for £3,250, is that an Ian McEwan novel?

No, bad luck.

OK, so it's all riding on your third and final answer,

which...I think we can be quite confident about.

Atonement.

Now, if this is right and this is pointless, you will leave here

with that jackpot, so for £3,250, is Atonement an Ian McEwan novel?

Yes, it is.

Hot-air Balloon Crash, alas, wasn't an Ian McEwan novel,

nor was Burning Love,

but Atonement most certainly is,

and is taking us down into...

not quite into single figures, 10.

APPLAUSE

Well, you did valiantly

considering it wasn't a brilliant subject for you.

So, three answers, but one, not a bad score.

Unfortunately, you didn't find that all-important pointless answer,

which means you don't win today's jackpot of £3,250.

That will roll over onto the next show.

But we've enjoyed having you on the show, you've performed so well.

-And you get a Pointless trophy, so there we are.

-That's great.

APPLAUSE

And you've played very well, as well.

So, there is an Ian McEwan novel with a balloon on the front

-that you called Burning Love...

-Enduring Love?

Enduring Love is exactly the right answer, yeah.

If you'd said Enduring Love, er...

you would've just won £3,250. AUDIENCE GASP

It's all right.

That is gutting, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

-It's really tough luck.

-I'm sorry.

-That is tough luck.

Let's look at the pointless answers in the other categories

while you have time to recover.

JM Coetzee novels, Age Of Iron,

In The Heart Of The Country, Life & Times Of Michael K,

his most recent book

The Childhood Of Jesus,

all of those were pointless answers.

For Pat Barker, who wrote the wonderful Regeneration Trilogy,

Another World, Blow Your House Down, Double Vision,

The Man Who Wasn't There -

all of those were pointless.

I think perhaps most people

would've got their pointless answers from Ian McEwan.

Black Dogs, there's Enduring Love, The Child In Time,

The Comfort Of Strangers,

The Cement Garden,

that was also a pointless answer.

Sweet Tooth, another recent novel,

a terrific novel, as well, was also a pointless answer.

Very well done if you've said those at home,

and I'm sorry that we've spoiled Enduring Love for you forever.

Yep!

Thanks very much, Richard.

We have to say goodbye to you, Sally and Ben,

but we've loved having you on the show. Brilliant contestants.

Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Sadly, Sally and Ben didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

when we'll be playing for £4,250.

APPLAUSE

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.